Leigh's Fanfiction Archive Stormkeeper's Fanfiction Freedom Chapter 11
Freedom
By Stormkeeper
Chapter 11
It was about two weeks after the wedding ceremony and I was going for a walk after lunch. The day was mild though somewhat windy and cool. I decided to explore the grassy area that led to a lake. I'd walked it before but I wanted to soak up as much An'zhina as I could. Hank had reported that he actually was making progress on fortifying the cloak, and I sensed we might not be on An'zhina that much longer.
As I exited the main building, I spotted Jean Grey sitting on one of the porch swings. She was holding Christopher. Jean and I had hardly spent any time together since the mediation. Once she was at the beach at the same time Jean-Paul and I were there, and we hung together for a bit, but soon she'd gone back to her kids. That afternoon, I went up to Jean on the porch and she smiled. "Hi, Bobby," she said.
"Hi," I said. I looked at the baby and whispered. "Is he asleep?"
"Yes. But it's alright. We can talk to each other. Come here and sit down next to me."
I wondered if she sensed that I truly did want to talk with her a bit. I carefully sat next to her, ensuring I would not rock the swing I looked at the baby. "How adorable," I said.
"Feel his skin. I love how soft it is." Jean gestured for me to touch the baby's foot. I did so, and it was so smooth and silky.
"I remember when Rory was a newborn. Her skin was like this," I said. "Quite an incredible feeling."
"I am trying to absorb it as much as I can," Jean said, her voice sounding a bit dreamy. "Babies just don't last long enough. And Scott and I agreed a long time ago to stop with two. So I want to enjoy this as much as I can."
"I understand. I'm sure there'll be other babies on An'zhina,"
I said.
"I know. But there's nothing like having one of your own."
Jean and I were quiet for a moment. Then we turned to each other and each said something at the same time. We laughed and then each asked the other to go first. "No, c'mon," she said, "go ahead."
"I think you should go first," I smiled, "since you're psychic and you already know what I'm going to say."
We had a laugh over that, Jean assuring me that she was not reading my mind. In any event, I ended up going first. "I just feel kinda bad lately. I know that Scott and Jean-Paul are not exactly best friends. I hope it doesn't hurt our friendship," I said.
"I'm glad you said that," Jean said. "I feel the same way. You know, there have been many X-men whom Scott has not gotten along with over the years. I know he's very…..law and order, black and white. I think he's less so now. But still."
"And I know Jean-Paul isn't that way at all. I mean, I knew as soon as I'd spent some time with him that he and Scott would never really get along well. And I also know that would be true whether or not Northstar was gay."
Jean nodded. "I'm glad you realize that. Because I was a bit worried you'd think that that was the reason."
"Nah. I mean Scott's never been best friends with Wolverine or Gambit either and they're straight. I see at as a personality clash."
"Exactly."
"And…it's not just Scott either," I offered. "Jean-Paul doesn't talk a lot about his Alpha Flight years---too many painful memories, I'm sure----but from what he does say….I can tell that he irritated a lot of his teammates then too. I love him but I can really see that he has an arrogant side and a headstrong side."
"Well, no one is perfect," Jean said.
There was some awkward silence for a bit. Jean then said, "I'm sure that you and I will be able to maintain a friendship no matter what. And who knows? Maybe someday Scott and Jean-Paul will be friends. I mean….Scott's relationships with Wolverine and Gambit have gotten better over the years. They can all be in the same room without having a fist fight now. Trust me, they used to all loathe the sight of each other."
We didn't talk a whole lot more on this topic. Jean let me hold Christopher for a bit. Not long after the baby was in my arms, Scott entered the porch, carrying Charlotte. I tensed up a bit, worried for a second that he'd grab the baby out of my arms, but he was cool. We just talked about nothing for a bit before I handed Christopher back to Jean and then went on my walk.
Thoughts of a return trip to earth were on my mind, and apparently on other people's minds as well. We'd held an X-men meeting and Hank gave us another update. He said he was getting close to a solution, though we'd need to test it obviously. He gave a bunch of scientific mumbo-jumbo explaining how he'd done it but I really had no idea what he was talking about. We all knew to start mentally gearing up for the next mission, and we X-men all increased our training time and intensity.
The evening of that meeting, I found myself in Jubilee's room. It was bedtime for her daughter Aurora and I was sitting on the bed with her, reading the girl a story. She was bright and clearly fascinated by all the words and pictures.
"Jean and Scott said to read to her every day," Jubilee whispered to me, once Rory was asleep in her bed, which was parked next to Jubilee's. "So I make sure to do it every day. Jean said her parents read to her all the time and that it was really cool."
"She's lucky to have such a good mommie," I said.
Jubilee only smiled and nodded, her eyes looking far away and not focussed on me. "We're not going on the next mission," she said, out of the blue.
I nodded. I wasn't surprised. "I understand," I said.
"I just don't think it's cool to risk her safety like that. Besides, I described it to her and she wants to stay here. She's old enough now to make her wishes known and she says she wants to stay with Charlotte. And stay here where you can go outside and play in the sunlight. I can't leave her and go on the mission without her."
"It makes sense. I'll miss you and her, but it totally makes sense," I said.
"I am really going to miss you, and Storm and Wolverine and everyone else too. But I know what's best. I've already talked to Jean a bit about things I can do here….help train some of the people to use their powers or help with some of the classes Sean's doing. Maybe even try my hand at counseling or offering a shoulder to cry on for those who want it."
"I know you'll be very useful and very appreciated here."
"Thanks, Bobby. I do just feel a bit like I'm shirking my duty as an X-man. Being an X-man is the best thing in my life and the most important. Well….after Aurora, of course."
"You can be an X-man here by doing all the things you talked about," I insisted. "It's okay, Jubes. You're doing what's best for your daughter."
It was late, so I soon said goodnight to Jubilee and then retired to my own room. There was no note from Jean-Paul under the door and he hadn't tried to reach me on my communicator either. We still maintained separate rooms (though he had managed to swap rooms with someone else and get one just four doors down from me.) If one of us wanted to talk or make love, we'd just contact the other either by leaving a note under the door or calling him on the communicator.
I undressed to my boxers, wishing that Jean-Paul had tried to get a hold of me. The last few times I'd been the one. Maybe my drive was higher. I think part of it, though, was that I longed for someone to curl up with at night. I didn't have it, so making love was the next best thing, even though he **always** left afterwards. I once even joked with him, "What is this `Wham, bam, thank you ma'am?!'" But he'd just laughed and said, "You know I love you." Oh well. When you love someone, you accept them and if he didn't want to sleep in the same bed with me, then I was willing to deal with that.
I straightened up a few items in the room when my communicator beeped. It was Jean-Paul!
"You want to talk?" he asked.
"Sure," I said. "You—uh---sound upset about something." Fortunately, I detected sadness and not anger. An angry Jean-Paul was not a pleasant thing.
"I am."
He was in my room within a matter of seconds. I pulled him into a hug when he arrived. "What is this?" he asked, surveying my undressed appearance. "You trying to tempt me?"
I laughed and explained that I'd been ready for bed. He and I sat on the bed together, our backs against the bedboards, propped up by pillows.
"What's wrong, my heart?" I asked him. I'd taken to sometimes calling him that since he used the same endearment, but in French, with me.
"I just finished talking with Jeanne-Marie," he said, his eyes downcast. "More like listening to her as she talked in between sobs. She's decided to take Stephan back to earth."
"Back to earth?"
"Yes. She's going to go on our next rescue mission and we'll have to beam him back down to his grandparents. The boy hates it here. Every day he says he wants to go back home. Jeanne-Marie even has asked him if he loves her and lately he says he does not. So she's going to have him returned to his grandparents."
"Oh, Jean-Paul," I whispered. "She must be heart-broken."
"She is. She's lost her husband, she's already lost her parents and almost all of her Alpha Flight family. Not to mention that she was horribly tortured by FOH for four months. And now she is giving up her son. Once he gets back to earth, she'll never see him again….Bobby, I'm worried that once he's gone, she will see no reason left to live."
"Of course she has a reason. You. You can be her support."
"I know that I am. But I do not think that I'm enough. Sometimes I look at her and I see this shell of a person. Before, she had many sides to her personalities and many different moods. But you often would see her happy and loving life. I think she hates it now. I hear her say being a mutant is a curse. And I feel her pain and share it. I'm hurting so much inside."
I placed a hand on Jean-Paul's arm. "I wish I could help somehow. I wish I could make it better."
"That is how I feel. Like nothing I can say or do is going to make this better for Jeanne-Marie. Nothing I can do is going to ease her pain. And we spent hours crying together today with her saying life is miserable."
Jean-Paul rested his head against me and I held him for a long, long time. I couldn't think of anything that I could say that might make it easier on him, so I just kept embracing him and telling him how much I loved him.
After a while, he grew tired of the embrace and straightened back up against the bedboard as he said, "I've been so preoccupied with this, I almost forgot to tell you what happened this morning."
"What is it?" I asked. His tone had suddenly taken on a lighter nuance.
"I went swimming before dinner while you were working in the garden. When I was in the changing room, this guy Xian comes up to me. You remember Xian, right?"
"I think so," I said. It was still impossible to know **all** the mutants well but I was pretty sure who Jean-Paul was referring to: one of the rescuees from Beijing, Xian was in his forties and spoke broken—but passable---English.
"So he comes up to me and….how can I describe it. He pats his….groin and says something like, `How about it?'"
"What??" I asked.
Jean-Paul shook his head. "Xian's English isn't the best but I finally get out of him that he wants me to suck him off. He says something like, `I heard you gay. So do this for me, please.'"
"You've gotta be kidding."
"I wish I was. And it gets better." Jean-Paul then resumed recounting the conversation, "So I tell Xian that I have a boyfriend, and besides I'm not interested. He then goes on to explain over and over again that he's not gay but he hasn't been with a woman since before the camps and it would be so nice if I'd just do this for him because none of the women here want relationships or sex. I have to tell him 'no' like five times. It was a credit to me that I didn't punch him out like I should have."
"That's incredible. What nerve." I was pretty disgusted by Xian's request of Jean-Paul, and at the same time I was thrilled that Jean-Paul had **not** reacted by beating up the guy. That would have been another disaster for us.
"I know. It was surprising," Jean-Paul said. "But straight guys have said stranger things to me. I do feel sorry for some of the guys here," he continued, sighing, "since what Xian said is true. Most of the women here aren't interested in men anymore."
I nodded, knowing that it was the truth. A few of the female camp survivors were expressing an interest in men and a few relationships had started up-----as witnessed by a handful of couples dancing at Rogue and Remy's wedding. But the vast majority apparently had no interest in relationships. Or sex. Given all they have survived, I could certainly see where they came from. Who could blame them? But I could also see that Xian's request wasn't all that much of a shock and wondered if we'd get anymore like that.
"He should've asked Psylocke," I muttered. Psylocke was continuing to be the exception to the rule about how most camp survivors were behaving.
"I don't know why he did not. But brace yourself, amour, if Xian ever approaches you."
"Thanks for the warning," I smiled. "I'll let him know that just because we're gay doesn't mean we give blow jobs to the whole world here." I then placed a hand on Jean-Paul's thigh and began, suggestively, "Speaking of blow jobs…."
"Ouch!" he said, smiling, "that was a horrible transition!" He and I both laughed. "I am almost tempted to say no just because of that!" he smiled
"It was funny though."
"Only to someone with a crazy sense of humor like yourself," he said, tweaking my ear.
Afterwards, he left as usual. I bunched the blankets around me, surrounding myself in Jean-Paul's scent as I prepared for sleep. The window was open and near my bed----a cool and fresh breeze wafted through it. I inhaled its deliciousness. I wasn't looking forward to our next earth mission. Freedom was a comfortable and spacious ship but nothing could compare to falling asleep breathing clean and cool air by an open window.
One good thing about getting ready to leave An'zhina----I'd be away from Todd. Todd continued to harass us. Actually, I should say harass *me.** He was smart enough to avoid Jean-Paul, knowing full well that Jean-Paul would beat him to a pulp again at the slightest provocation. But Todd wasn't stupid and he knew that I was more mature in that regard and that I wanted to avoid conflict.
One evening, Todd and I passed each other in the halls. We were alone; no one else was within eyesight or earshot. As we pass, he mutters "faggot" under his breath. He whispers it so quietly I barely hear it, and he keeps on walking. I stop dead in my tracks, dumbfounded, questioning whether I imagined it or not. I just stood there, watching him continue to walk away, paralyzed with confusion and anger. I told no one about this.
And one afternoon, the weather was exceptionally good and many were eating lunch on the porch behind the main complex. Jean-Paul and I walked out onto the porch, holding hands as we often did. Todd looks right into my eyes and as his eyes drill into mine, he spits a huge wad of spit onto the ground. Jean-Paul had been looking around, searching for his sister and completely oblivious to what Todd did. Todd moved on a split second after his hateful gesture. Again, I was surprised, confused and a bit frightened. I dropped Jean-Paul's hand, and he turned towards me, asking if I was alright. I muttered, "Fine," and reached for his strong hand again. I don't know if anyone on that crowded porch observed this.
I wished Todd would use his power of invisibility and just make himself disappear.
Actually, why should I be making light of this? It pissed me off. But I couldn't tell Jean-Paul----he'd just go after Todd and beat him. I didn't want to tell Jean Grey or any of the other leaders either---they'd just require us to sit in another mediation. I just reminded myself that I truly had nothing to fear. If Todd ever attacked me, he'd be toast in a minute. My years of training as an X-men had served me well. Although I'd always been slighter in physique and musculature than most of the other men, I was also in the best condition of my life. My muscles were more defined than ever; I had strong arms, shoulders, back, and legs. Add to that the fact that Wolverine had taught me karate, I could've whipped Todd's ass without even having to turn into my Iceman form.
At the very least, I had one thing to console me: Todd's behavior was an aberration among those who lived on the moon. No one else was openly hostile towards Northstar and I.
Charles Xavier sat opposite Betsy Braddock in a darkened conference room. If an outsider could have taken a glimpse inside the room, they perhaps would have noticed that the man appeared placid. Sitting on his ever-present hover chair, the Professor's hands were folded in his lap and his eyes were closed. His calm facial features belied the strain he was experiencing.
Inside his mind, he struggled for control and for some degree of detachment during his session with Betsy. Oftentimes after their meetings, Charles thought back to the days he had spent with Sabertooth, so many years ago. The Professor had worked with him, trying to ease his anger and restore him, as he had done so with Wolverine before. In order to aid Sabertooth in battling his inner demons, Charles had become one with him, mentally. He had seen and experienced the rages, the anger, the hatred. He had battled Sabertooth's inner demons with him.
It had been to no avail. Despite all his work, the Professor had been unable to help Sabertooth. Charles feared that Psylocke was perhaps at that point, beyond help.
When they met every other day, he also became one with her mind. He experienced, just as she had, being strapped down to a bed. He vicariously felt his body invaded over and over and over again, some days literally hundreds of times. During their sessions, his mind became like hers: the true self was wrapped up inside an impenetrable core. The layers around it were bulwarks of protection. The real Betsy had no desire to step out from her protective shell. Charles could pierce through those layers if he wished to, but doing so disturbed Betsy. And she had no wish to talk through her torment with him.
Meanwhile, Betsy sat facing the Professor. She was there because she had to be there; she had been ordered to submit to counseling as penance for the lives and ships she had destroyed. No, she knew that Charles did not regard this as punishment. Rather, as he told her more than once, he wanted help her become herself again and help her see the wrong in the deed she had done. `Maybe, this **is** myself now,' Betsy often mused. `It is better this way.'
The counseling session that day was tolerable. The X-men would be returning to earth soon, the Professor would be gone, and Betsy had some plans of her own.
The X-men had been back on An'zhina for nearly four months now. Beast had come up with a solution that he was confident would reinforce their cloak and render them invisible to FOH's sensors once again. And the Professor, though still not feeling fully restored, was rested and prepared to take on FOH again.
The X-men's leaders had scheduled a meeting to discuss their plans in more detail. The Professor, Cyclops, and Storm were to sit down with the field commanders: Wolverine, Rogue and Beast along with the leaders of An'zhina: Jean, Moira, and Banshee.
However, a few hours before the meeting was to take place, Queen Marina contacted the Professor and said she wanted a meeting with him, Storm and Cyclops. The discussion that took place with Endaria's ruler provided the X-men with much to go over during their own meeting with the others hours later.
"Marina made a request of us," Storm began, facing the eight others who sat at the round table. "We promised her that we would take it to the others for consideration, even though we do not think it will be well-received."
Storm paused and took a breath. Rogue glanced at her friend, not certain what she saw on Storm's face. She also peeked at Cyclops and saw that he looked fairly disgusted with something. The Professor didn't look very pleased either. Storm then continued, "Apparently, there are a group of Endarians who live on one of the other moons here. The moon is called Le'ara, and it is the second smallest after An'zhina. Those who live on Le'ara are…..followers of us, for lack of a better term."
"Followers of us?" Banshee asked.
"Of the X-men?" Rogue asked.
"Yes," Storm answered.
"Wait a sec here, sugar. I thought the Endarians are all isolationists," Rogue said.
Hank spoke up, "`Xenophobe' is a more accurate term, but isolationist can also describe their viewpoint."
Rogue made a face at him and Wolverine wished people would stop interrupting so Storm could get to where she was going with this. Storm then continued. "Whatever the case, those who have migrated to Le'ara consider themselves….devotees of us, and Le'ara is now inhabited primarily by these followers. From what Marina described, they read….stories of our adventures and even watch a television show about us."
This came as a surprise to the group. They knew that Queen Marina----and many other Endarians----admired the X-men and what they had done on earth. However, as Wolverine commented, "I didn't know we have a goddamn fan club here."
"Yeah, do we get a percentage of the profits from all these stories and shows bein' made about us?" Rogue asked.
"No doubt Queen Marina would remind us that she gave us this moon," Beast said.
"So she called a meeting with you three just to tell you that we have these followers?" Banshee asked.
"There's more," Cyclops said, grimly.
"It seems that these Endarians wish to introduce mutation into their society," Storm continued, wondering why she'd volunteered for the task of relaying this to the others. "They are puzzled as to why such mutation has not occurred among Endarians and want to introduce our genes into their society."
This raised quite a few eyebrows.
"We asked Marina specifically what she meant and specifically what she was requesting of us. She said that she would like us to donate sperm to these people." Storm had to keep from smiling as she said it. Not that she was the least bit happy----just that the scenario was so ridiculous.
"What?" Rogue asked, the look on her face leaving little doubt that she thought Marina's request was absurd.
"She would like the male mutants on An'zhina to donate sperm so that the people of Le'ara can have mutant children. Marina also went on to say that she would have also requested that the female mutants here be impregnated with the Le'aran's sperm and then give up their babies, but she said she knew we would not be willing to do so. But she is asking for donations of sperm from the men. She asked us to run this request by everyone."
"Is she insane?" Banshee asked. "I certainly wilna go along with this! I have one child and one child only. I'm not going to father other children and then not be allowed to raise them! How dare she even ask!"
"We ain't farm animals for breedin'!" Wolverine said, clearly outraged. "I think this is a crock o' shit and who the fuck does she think she is, asking this!"
Cyclops shook his head. "Her request was just outrageous. I told her that no one would agree to it."
"I think the whole thing is crazy," Rogue said.
"So are we to understand," Hank began, "that there are several females living on Le'ara who wish to be impregnated with our sperm?" He wanted to ensure he grasped the situation as fully as possible before passing judgement.
"Yes," Storm said. "That is indeed what Marina told us."
"Did she say what the long-term plan for this situation is? Is the intention that the citizens of Le'ara will raise the children without any involvement from us? Or are we to play some sort of role? Do they realize the possibility that the children will not be mutants? Or the possibility that mutant humans and Endarians might not be able to produce offspring and----"
Cyclops cut him off. "We didn't ask for any details. I, personally, was so disgusted that I wanted to leave the room."
"Are they tellin' or askin'?" Wolverine asked.
"Marina made it clear that this was a request," the Professor answered, placing emphasis on the last word.
"But her requests are getting more and more inappropriate," Scott said. He then took a breath. "There's something I didn't tell any of you," he began. "Except Jean, of course," he added awkwardly. "A few months ago, Marina made another request during one of the meetings with the three of us. She requested, as a thank-you for everything she'd been doing for us, that I sleep with her."
Eyebrows were again raised and more than one person said a silent, 'Ah-ha.'
"I refused, of course," Scott continued. "But for those of you who have noticed a sort of change in Marina's attitude towards us, it happened once I refused her request. Jean and I asked her to help with Lu, but she said no way. And now she makes this request out of the blue."
Wolverine wasn't one to bite his tongue. But he really wanted to cuss Cyclops out right then and there. Had Marina told him that if he would recant and sleep with her that she would help cure Lu? And if so, how dare the bastard refuse! Still, for whatever reason, Wolverine kept his mouth closed. He sat back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest, sending hateful looks towards Scott. But then he thought about the scenario some more. It was Cyke's body, Cyke's life. What if it had been a male ruler who had wanted to sleep with Jubilee—or one of the other rape survivors? Wolverine sure wouldn't have condemned her for not going along with it. But still.
"Did she say what would happen if we wilna go along with this request?" Moira asked, breaking the clumsy silence that had fallen over the room.
"No," Scott said. "We told her that we didn't think that too many---if any---guys would go along with this. She just reiterated to make sure that we ask them." Scott paused. He knew this meeting would not be easy. "By the way, what I just told you…..about Marina's earlier request of me. Please keep it confidential. I'd prefer if this didn't get out."
The others nodded and expressed assent. "Well then," the Professor began, "is anyone here interested in carrying out what Marina is requesting?"
No one was. Storm then offered to think of a way to communicate the request to everyone else, per Marina's order. The discussion then died down for a bit until Wolverine spoke. "I said it when we first came here," he began. "No one gives you a moon without wanting something in return. Now we're seein' it and it's just gonna continue till they ain't **requesting** things anymore.."
"Sure does make you wonder how secure we are here," Rogue mused glumly. "She says it's a request now, but what happens when she turns it into a demand?"
"Irregardless of that, how secure ever was our position on An'zhina?" Beast asked. "Have we ever determined what might happen if and when Marina is no longer Queen of Endaria?"
Jean nodded. "We discussed that with her during one of your missions. She said she placed a Binding Executive Order that grants the deed over this moon to us. She said that means that should she die or should the Executive Council vote her out, we would still retain the moon."
"What about her successors?" Rogue asked. "And what's the deal with Endaria, again? Do they elect their rulers do they rule by birthright?"
"Endaria is a constitutional monarchy," Hank said. Marina had gone over all of this with the X-men when they had first met. At that time, Gambit had been recovering from a coma and Rogue had not been following matters of state with the most rapt attention. "Marina has the throne for life unless she should violate the constitution. When she dies or if she violates the constitution, the throne will go to her heirs."
"She has one child," Moira said. "A son who is about 5, I believe. He will be the next ruler. Unless Marina should die before her son turns 20. In that case, the throne will go to Marina's younger brother. Theoretically, the next regent could overturn her Binding Executive Order, but they are to do so only in extreme cases."
"We were once told that a regent has never overturned another regent's Binding Executive Order in Endaria's history," the Professor added. "And Endaria has quite a long history."
Rogue nodded, thankful for the information. She had heard it before but it wasn't ever foremost on her mind and had been forgotten. "So is the bottom line that we can stay here forever?" Rogue asked. "I mean, theoretically and all," she added as a disclaimer, since she knew some in that room believed that nothing lasts forever.
The Professor answered her. "Yes," he said slowly, "unless one thing." He paused for a second. "Unless Marina herself overturns her own Binding Executive Order."
"Which she **can** do," Jean added.
The mutants on An'zhina had a bulletin board which they frequently used to communicate with each other. Storm posted Marina's request on that board, indicating that any interested parties should contact one of the X-men leaders or their representatives (Erica and Yunfei.) Most who saw the message on the board thought it was a joke. Many burst out laughing after reading it. Some inquired as to whether it truly was a prank and were surprised when the answer was negative. However, no one took it seriously and no one was interested in making a donation. Storm relayed that information to a displeased Marina.
Meanwhile, the X-men were finalizing their preparations for their return mission to earth. They tested and re-tested their improved cloak. However, until they confronted a Friends of Humanity starship, they would not know for certain whether it worked. They also stocked up on their Euphoria Vapor and redoubled their training efforts.
The day for the X-men to leave for their next mission to earth drew near. One afternoon, two days before they were to depart, several of the X-men were on the bridge of Freedom, beaming their possessions and supplies from their quarters on An'zhina back to the starship. As they worked, Storm pressed a few buttons and re-ran some final diagnostics.
"We are missing a shuttle!" Storm realized, shocked. They had not been missing it yesterday when they ran the very same check. Freedom had come with three shuttles. One remained on An'zhina at all times, as a precaution. So there should have been two on board Freedom. Today, there was only one.
"What happened?" Wolverine asked, standing next to her.
"I cannot tell," she replied, looking at her console. She contacted the Professor.
Charles shut his eyes and concentrated. "We're missing Marrow. And Psylocke."
Marrow was to have accompanied the X-men on the mission. Because she was suspended, Psylocke was to have remained on An'zhina. However, that day both women were gone. Their quarters on An'zhina were searched but no one could find any note or any explanation as to why they had left so quickly. They had spoken with no one.
"I wonder what their plans are," Storm was saying to some of the others, after the search. "Do they plan to go to earth and kill some FOH soldiers?"
"That'll be a suicide mission," Wolverine grumbled.
"Perhaps not," the Professor said. "Marrow's powers are good for mainly hand to hand combat, but Psylocke is a **very** powerful mutant." They all remembered how she had single-handedly destroyed two FOH ships.
"And I would imagine that they've outfitted their shuttle with the improved cloaking device," Storm said. "If it works, they should easily be able to get near earth. And the shuttles are just as fast as Freedom."
The Professor nodded and sighed. "I could use my powers to locate them," he finally said. "Even if the shuttle is as fast as Freedom, they can't be out of telepathic range by now." He paused. "However, I have decided not to do this. If they want to leave, that is their choice. I need to conserve my energy and my powers." He doubted that he would be able to convince them to discontinue their plans and he had not the energy to argue. He certainly would not use his powers to compel them to turn back, either.
Storm was somewhat surprised by his statement. She then nodded and said. "We will have to hope that whatever they do does not obstruct our mission."
The X-men who would be going on this mission were: Professor X, Storm, Wolverine, Beast, Rogue, Gambit, Iceman, Colossus, Angel, Nightcrawler, and the three former members of Alpha Flight: Northstar, Aurora Borealis, and Shaman. The only others accompanying them would be Panda, Elena, and young Stephan. (Shaman's wife and daughter elected to remain on An'zhina.) Wolverine looked over the docket and frowned. Only 12 fighters…and only one telepath. If they even made it to earth this time, this would not be an easy mission.
Wolverine didn't feel like saying another goodbye. He'd had enough of those during his lifetime. He just reminded himself that it was far, far better this way. Jubilee and her daughter would be safe here. Let him miss them. The pain of their absence might harden his heart again and make everything all the more tolerable. When they stood there, outside of the bay where Freedom was kept, he had no plans to hug and kiss them. He would just mutter something to the effect of 'goodbye.'
But little Aurora had something else in mind. The toddler made her way up to him with her arms outstretched. "Uncle!" she called out.
Logan's heart melted. Damn. That child would always have the same effect on him as her mother did. He'd known he was a goner when Rory had been a few days old and Jubilee had asked him to hold her. His resolve to harden his heart flew out the window.
Rory reached Wolverine's leg and held her arms up. He had no choice but to pick her up. Gazing at her face, he saw her strong resemblance to Jubilee. The eyes and nose were Jubilee's, as was the shape of the face. The mouth was out of place though; it was the only thing that destroyed the image of Rory as a little Jubilee. The mouth was too big and the lips far too thin. 'Does Jubes ever see this kid and think of her attackers?', Wolverine wondered. `Who am I kiddin? Of course she does.'
The child returned the gaze of her surrogate Uncle. In as many words, Rory told Wolverine that she didn't want him to go. "I know, kid," he said. He then reminded her of all the things she liked about An'zhina, including her best friend Charlotte. But little Aurora cried anyway. She knew that most of her dear Uncles and Aunts were leaving for an extended period of time and she didn't like it one bit.
Wolverine then handed Aurora back to her mother. Jubilee held the girl, who was becoming heavier and heavier each day it seemed. "She's not the only one," Jubilee began. "I'll miss you too, Wolvie."
He could tell that Jubilee was choking back tears. Her eyes were near glistening. "I know, darlin'," Wolverine said, pulling both Jubilee and Aurora into a hug. "I'll miss you too." He swallowed the lump in his throat.
"I love you," Jubilee said. Aurora then echoed, "Love you too."
Wolverine smiled. Leaving them still hurt, but the pain was manageable, knowing they would both be safe. "I love you too," he said.
The goodbyes were painful all around for Jubilee, as she and her daughter bid farewell to Storm, Bobby, the Professor, and everyone else who meant so much to her. Jubilee kept reminding herself that she needed to do what was best for Aurora, and the child was so much safer on An'zhina. However, by the time she got to saying goodbye to Bobby, Rory was not the only one openly crying.
"I can't wait to leave this hellhole," Stephan muttered as his mother Jeanne-Marie Beaubier ushered him up Freedom's ramp. The boy knew the hardest part would be the five weeks cooped up in the starship with all the mutant freaks, but the prospect of returning to earth would make it all worth it. He'd been counting down the days till he'd be allowed to leave An'zhina.
Jeanne-Marie walked him to his room, fighting back tears. Her only child, her only remnant of her murdered husband and she was going to be losing him too. Correction. She'd **already** lost him. Stephan didn't even try to hide the fact that he couldn't wait to be away from all of the "damn muties", his own mother included.
Meanwhile, Warren Worthington walked up the ramp to Freedom and then turned around for one more look at the beautiful moon. As he surveyed the bright green fields against the purplish color of the sky, he gripped his stomach, feeling some physical pain. Warren had never been so lonely in his entire life. Psylocke was gone; he understood that despite all his best efforts, he'd lost her forever. He started to think that he might never see her again. Warren resolved to make FOH pay for this.
And there was no one else either, no other woman to fill the void that Psylocke left. Only a handful of women were going on this mission and they were all completely unavailable. Rogue was married, Panda was with Hank, Elena with Colossus, and whatever Storm had with Wolverine was still going on---- and Angel sure wasn't about to step into it. It was also widely known that Jeanne-Marie Beaubier had no more interest in men or dating.
It was going to be one long, lonely trip to earth.
Charles Xavier felt a sense of déjà vu as Banshee shook his hand and wished him well on the mission. He and Moira also kept their farewell succinct. They had spent some time together the evening before.
That evening with Moira, Charles had done something that he rarely, if ever, did. He opened up to someone else; he let another person listen to his anguish. He confided in Moira how he felt like a failure. Everything---from the dismal situation on earth to his inability to help Psylocke—felt like his failure.
"Charles, we all feel this way at one time or another," Moira had said, looking at his face and seeing the fatigue in his eyes. "You did your best. You do your best with everything. And you canna dwell on the negative. Look at all the successes you've had, such as Rogue. She is doing so well now. Think of how she was when you first met her."
But Moira had sensed that nothing she had said to him really consoled him in the least. He'd still looked despondent when they parted company that evening, and the following day---as he prepared to board Freedom---he looked no better. Moira looked at him, wondering if he felt for her what she still felt for him. If he did, he kept it well hidden.
So back to earth we went. Another five week trip, if all went well. We hoped this time we would get a chance to use the Euphoria Vapor and be able to really free some of our mutant brothers and sisters.
I worried over Psylocke and Marrow and whatever they had planned. And I really missed Jubilee and Rory, as I knew I would. I liked to spend a few hours a day playing Uncle but that was impossible. The only child on board Freedom was Stephan and he sure didn't want me coming near him.
And I felt so bad for Northstar. He was really down in the dumps because his sister was totally miserable. Stephan seemed oblivious to the fact that his mother was heartbroken. Anytime I saw the kid---which wasn't too often---he just talked about how he couldn't wait to get back to earth. Jeanne-Marie was anguished, which meant Jean-Paul was anguished, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. At least he didn't take it out on me.
There was one piece of good news. About a week after we set out, our sensors picked up an uncloaked FOH vessel. The ship was "near" ours; at least "near" in space terms. It was near enough that it could have sensed us had they been able to detect our cloaking device. But obviously they couldn't…..the FOH ship did nothing. Didn't alter its course or attack or do anything that indicated they knew we were present. They were too far for the Professor to be able to confirm whether they were indeed oblivious to us but we took their non-action as a great sign. Whatever Hank did with the cloaking device (he explained it in my presence more than once but I couldn't understand a word) was apparently working.
About four or five days after that non-incident with FOH, I sat on bridge duty with Colossus. Despite the fact that we were fairly sure our revised cloak was working, we still took bridge duty seriously. Colossus and I settled down in the captain and first officer's chairs respectively. I don't remember how we got to talking with each other, but I wanted to impress him with my memory of the Russian language. (A couple years ago, we'd celebrated Christmas and as his gift to me, Peter gave me some Russian language lessons. I wanted to show him that I still remembered some from our long days on the Paradise Planet.) I made some remark that my Danger Room training session that morning had been "ochen trudna." (very difficult.)
"Horosho!" Peter exclaimed (which means 'good.') "You still remember some Russian."
"Nimnoga," I said, using the word that meant `a little.' I then had to switch to English. "Every now and then a phrase will pop into my head," I said. "But I think I forgot most of it." I paused. "You know, we could go back to regular lessons together, but since you spend all your free time with a certain pink-skinned mutant…."
Peter started smiling like crazy. Seeing this side of him was very cool since he didn't open up much. "It is true. I am in love, Bobby."
"I'm really happy for you."
"You know, ever since I catch the…." he searched for the right word and apparently found it, "garter at Rogue and Gambit's wedding, I think maybe it is time to propose to Elena."
"Really?" I asked. "That's great! I remember how she looked once you caught the garter. She looked happy. So have you thought of when you might propose?"
"I not sure now. Maybe after this mission."
"Well that's great to hear. I wish you all the best." I was tickled that Peter opened up to me since he usually didn't. I don't think it was intentional; I think it was just that we didn't see much of each other. He truly did spend most of his time with Elena. But that day for some reason he seemed like he wanted to talk, and it was cool that he shared his plans about proposing. "Maybe someday soon we'll see little Colossuses, or little pink Elenas."
He smiled at my comment. He then asked, "How is Northstar?"
"He's doing alright," I said. "You know, he's sad because his sister is sad." Peter nodded. Everyone knew what was going on with Stephan, and subsequently with Jeanne-Marie and Jean-Paul. "But he's okay." I paused and looked at Colossus. "Thanks for asking," I added. I wanted to thank him for acknowledging—by asking about it--- my relationship with Jean-Paul.
"You two seem happy together," he said.
"We are."
"I am glad for An'zhina. You two can live together there and not be….bothered by anyone."
As I silently added, 'Except for a jerk named Todd,' Colossus continued speaking. "In Russia, things very different. Sometimes people like you put into mental institution. Or it used to be labor camp, I heard. The older people in my village once talked about man who they took away long time ago for that. I was young when they talk about this but I remember."
Someone must have put a quarter in Colossus because I hardly ever heard him talk this much. And especially about something like this. I sensed he maybe had something to say, so I tried to gently prompt him to go on. "Yeah, I guess I'm lucky. Though it kinda sucks that we live in a world where people are treated that way in the first place. It's not right. It's just as bad as putting mutants into `containment centers.'"
"I know. I come to realize this but I didn't always think so. You see, Bobby, I was raised to think that….people like you are bad. Homosexuals. But I come to see that you nothing to be wary of, and it is not right to look down on someone for that."
"Am I the first gay person you ever met?"
"Yes. So coming from somewhere where people like you considered to be insane or to be criminal, I had some….hesitate, a bit when we first meet. But over the years I see how stupid it was of me to think so. You and Northstar such nice people."
We talked a bit more along those lines. I still don't really know what prompted him to open up in me like that. And I honestly had never sensed that he'd been wary of me before. But then again, he and I had hardly spent much time together during the three months I'd been back with the X-men before we got captured by FOH. Whatever the case, I thought it was cool that he'd had his mind changed.
It had started out like any other evening for Jean Grey. She'd spent a few hours after dinner with a group of female camp survivors whom she'd been facilitating in group healing/counseling sessions. Scott had simultaneously been working with a mixed group of camp survivors, leading them through some exercises to help build their confidence and esteem. Each parent had one child with them; Jean with the infant, since he was so much more dependent, and Scott with Charlotte.
After their sessions, Jean and Scott retired to their room. Their groups had finished later than usual and Charlotte was too tired for a story. Jean sat down to read to her, but the child was asleep by the time they got to page 2.
Jean and Scott then readied for bed. They considered making love, decided they were a bit too tired right then and that they'd save it for an evening when they had more energy.
The trouble started when Jean fell asleep. Images invaded her dreams, images that she had thought she'd long since banished. Suddenly she was back on board Freedom….before its name had been changed to Freedom, before the X-men had gotten control of the ship. She suddenly was reliving pieces of the worst four days of her life. Upon later reflection, Jean would find that odd. She almost never—consciously or unconsciously---returned to those memories. Even when she counseled camp survivors, Jean tended to do it with a sense of detachment, as she felt that she had long since worked through it all. But that night, her subconscious got the best of her and she woke up in a cold sweat, trembling with fear and nausea.
Scott woke up too. Jean's unconscious mind must have signaled his as well. They huddled together in bed, holding and trying to comfort each other.
Charlotte began to cry. The toddler rarely—if ever---woke up during the night, but tonight she wailed and wailed as if in agony. Scott rose, picked her up and brought her over to their bed. "Mama!" Charlotte cried out, wrapping her arms around Jean.
"The poor thing," Jean murmured, her voice low and throaty. "She feels everything that I felt then. She's so scared and confused about how her mom can be so upset. She's scared of the emotions going through her right now." She grasped Charlotte to her tightly, trying to calm her down.
"It's okay, honey," Scott murmured, trying to soothe Charlotte with his touches. "Mommy is okay. You'll be alright too." Jean spoke similar comforting words to their daughter, and Charlotte began to quiet down.
"She feels better now," Jean said after a while. Charlotte was falling back asleep.
"How are you?" Scott asked.
"Alright. It…it was such a horrible dream. I haven't thought back to the time we were prisoners for so long. I really thought it was all behind me. I guess my unconscious mind decided otherwise."
"Are you really feeling better, my love? Is there anything I can do to help?"
"It's good to be here with you holding me," she said, loving the warmth that came from Scott and the comfort that his strong arms around her brought. "I'm starting to feel better. I felt such….nausea. It's starting to go down." She looked down at Charlotte. "She's asleep now."
"Here, I'll bring her back to her bed."
When Scott returned to their bed, he held Jean again. She was able to fall back asleep, though her mind did not rest that night.
Chapter 10
Chapter 12