Authors Note- Sorry for the delay in chapters lately. Its been my fault, we've gotten behind on the writing somewhat too. Anyways expect an update every single day this week.
I sway gently in the swing, rock my body back in forth. Doing my best to forget the traitorous day I endured. The moon is hidden by dark clouds, it's going to rain soon. I can tell, the unusually warm air in November, tipped me off. Trying to forget all that went down is the hardest part of all this. Fortunately, not a lot of words were exchanged. Just a sentence, one that sent daggers through my heart. I'll probably recover in a few months. After she's gone, cause after all that's what she wants. 'I'm going John, its easier this way.' For who? Her? Me? None, I just wish I could have done something. I should have gone after her, chased her down the street, screamed out at the top of my lungs how much I needed her, how much I loved her. Maybe that would have helped. Maybe not. I wish I knew, I wish she would come back, I wish her flight didn't leave tomorrow. I should have talked to her sooner. She spent two weeks avoiding me, I shouldn't have let her. I guess it doesn't really matter now, she's going to do what she is going to do. I can't stop her, she's got her mind made up. I just wish I knew where we stand.
"You just going to sit out here and mop all night." Susan cracks, plopping down next to me on the swing. I dig my feet into the ground trying to swing higher, she matches me swing for swing. "You know you could always tell her how you feel. Betcha she'd stay if you did that." I shrug, I'm not doing that. Abby knows what she wants, why should I be the guy to stop her, get in the way of her dreams.
"If she really wanted to stay she wouldn't have even thought of going." I bring my swing to an abrupt halt. I kind of wish Susan would go away. She's been a great friend to me over the last couple of years, but right now I just want to be alone. Just me, my swing, and the dark night. Sounds like a recipe for disaster.
"Sure she would of. She's trying to hurt you. Its her way of getting you to prove you care." Great. She runs me over time and time again just to prove something, that she should already know. I run my fingers through my hair, staring at the house.
"I should go check on the kids, I'll see you tomorrow." I leave Susan swinging alone. She'll probably go home, she's been helping me move into the town house. I've had it since Becky and I got married, but after she died, I couldn't bare live here. We started living here again a few months ago. Now I think its best if we move back in. Especially since I am selling my Grandmothers house. A screech, brings me out of my reverie. I rush up the stairs, just like I have everyday since these nightmares started. The screams get louder, piercing my ears. I walk into his room, watching his tiny body quiver, as tears run down his cheeks. I lift him into my arms, his head nestles on my shoulder.
"Shhhh, its okay." The tears slow down, but his grip around my neck does not ease. I bring him downstairs, preparing to get him a glass of water. The doorbell rings, halting my expedition. Susan, I thought she was leaving, maybe I misunderstood. I pull the door open. Okay, so I guess Susan was leaving.
"Hi." She says it in a breathless way. Like she had been practising what to say, and that was the most clever thing she could come up with.
"Hi." I reply. I run my hands along Sebastian's shaking back. She smiles weakly, leading me to wonder why she's here. She wanted nothing to do with me before, now this. Before I say anything, I notice a bag in her hand, a familiar bears head is poking through the top. Right, giving the stuff back, my favourite part of breaking up. Sometimes you even find neat little gizmos that you forgot you had. This time I think it will be more painful, than neat.
"He okay?" She is watching Sebastian intently, I know she wants to hold him, bring him the comfort that she always has. I'm just not sure that is best, she's just going to take off, I don't want him to get his hopes up. I nod in response, checking to see that he's sleeping.
"Yeah... Just another nightmare." I turn around, heading upstairs. I hear the door shut, soon she's on my heels. Following me into Sebastian's bedroom.
The ride up the stairs must be a bumpy one for Seb, because he catches sight of Abby. A soft whimper is all that can be heard for a second. Until she is pulling him from my arms, now I am the one following her. She lays him down his bed, but he pulls her down with him. Resting his head in her lap. I guess two weeks without her was a lot for him. He is soon lying down across her body, she clutches him, whispering into his ear, that it will be okay. Maybe for her. Sebastian sees me watching over them, pulling me into bed, I half land on Abby, half on the bed. He situates himself across both of us, I put my arm around Abby for comfort and only comfort. She shocks me, when her head falls upon my shoulder. I run fingers through Sebastian's hair, his head still on her lap. He is using me more as a foot stool than anything else.
"Is he telling you what the nightmares are yet?" I shake my head, no. He won't talk about them in the morning, its like they're nothing but a joke to him. At night its like this. Shrieks and tears.
"I have a friend, she's a psychiatrist, she's in town for a few days, I'll get her to take a look at him tomorrow." Abby shoots me a look. One that I can only describe as sceptical.
"Maybe he won't tell her." She seems a little defensive... Reluctant even, jealous. I laugh a little. She's jealous of Dana. Susan must have told her about Dana. Sebastian has always liked Dana, he never took to he the way he took to Abby, but I have never seen him react that way with anyone but her.
"Don't worry Abby. No one will come in between you and Seb. Only distance." I add bitterly. This time the look she sends me is more a death glare. She sits up, trying to pull herself away from me, but considering Sebastian has pretty much got us both pinned to the bed, I don't think that will be possible.
"Who is she anyways." She relaxes a bit more.
"An old friend." I don't see why she cares. She's leaving, I can see or screw who ever I please. So can Seb for that matter, except he can't screw who he wants, I won't allow that. I watch as Abby sighs, collapsing against me.
"Okay." She runs her hands through her hair, obviously frustrated with me. I've put up with her for the last few months. I wouldn't have thought of it as putting up with her, not until now at least. Till she showed me how little she is willing to put into this, how much I don't need her. If I want to date Dana I will... Crap Dana. I glance over at the clock on Seb's wall. Uh-oh, Dana should be here in about ten minutes. She decided to stay here a bit longer, spend some time with Sebastian, Madison and I. She hasn't seen the kids in a while. She helped me with them, also, when Becky died. I think they miss her, she was always great with them. Maddie really liked her, Becky and Dana were friends, and they formed a bond, and they would take Madison out shopping and such. So Madison really missed Dana when she left Chicago for good a few years ago. She was like her second mom. She never really had anyone else, other than Susan.
"Why are you here?" I am trying to argue her out of my house. Its the only way she will go, without me falling completely in love with her... again. She tenses up a little, I pull my hand from behind her.
"I came to return some of Madison and Sebastian's stuff..." Her voice trails off, she seems hurt, pained. Maybe she doesn't really want to stay. Susan may be right, may be all I have to do is tell her to stay. But is it worth it? Shouldn't she want to stay, stay here with me. Our- my kids.
"Well do that... We don't need you." A mix of hurt and anger washes over her face. She carefully peels Sebastian off of her, extracting herself from the bed. She angrily leaves the room, storming down the stairs, I follow her, preparing to lock her out.
"I shouldn't have even come here. I should have gotten Susan to drop the stuff off. It was a bad idea." She shakes her head at me, roughly throwing her shoes and jacket on. "I should have known you would be such an asshole. I mean its who you are."
"Just leave." I run my fingers through my hair, she has a lot of nerve coming into my house and treating me like this.
"You're probably screwing that woman anyways." She says pulling her jacket on over her arm.
"Yeah I am Abby." I lie. She might know that I am lying but I don't care anymore... Its all getting to be too much. Too much stress, too much drama.
"You were probably fucking her while we were together. I mean I thought we still were together." You what? No she didn't. She did not think that, if that is some sort of sick revenge, or stupid revenge actually, than I don't know. I think low of her.
In the midst of our arguing the doorbell rings, Abby, being closer throws the door open. Dana stands in front of us. Abby looks as though she is about to throw her down the stairs, before she does, I lean in and gently kiss Dana on the lips.
Review Response
smilez4eva- We have one coming up lol.
ER-Carby-Luva- well the last few chapters have been a little delayed, but we're trying for more regular updates!
Jane- Don't worry I understand, I think Abby is awesome in season ten, she's come along way. I know some people don't like her, but I think shes kinda cool.
I sway gently in the swing, rock my body back in forth. Doing my best to forget the traitorous day I endured. The moon is hidden by dark clouds, it's going to rain soon. I can tell, the unusually warm air in November, tipped me off. Trying to forget all that went down is the hardest part of all this. Fortunately, not a lot of words were exchanged. Just a sentence, one that sent daggers through my heart. I'll probably recover in a few months. After she's gone, cause after all that's what she wants. 'I'm going John, its easier this way.' For who? Her? Me? None, I just wish I could have done something. I should have gone after her, chased her down the street, screamed out at the top of my lungs how much I needed her, how much I loved her. Maybe that would have helped. Maybe not. I wish I knew, I wish she would come back, I wish her flight didn't leave tomorrow. I should have talked to her sooner. She spent two weeks avoiding me, I shouldn't have let her. I guess it doesn't really matter now, she's going to do what she is going to do. I can't stop her, she's got her mind made up. I just wish I knew where we stand.
"You just going to sit out here and mop all night." Susan cracks, plopping down next to me on the swing. I dig my feet into the ground trying to swing higher, she matches me swing for swing. "You know you could always tell her how you feel. Betcha she'd stay if you did that." I shrug, I'm not doing that. Abby knows what she wants, why should I be the guy to stop her, get in the way of her dreams.
"If she really wanted to stay she wouldn't have even thought of going." I bring my swing to an abrupt halt. I kind of wish Susan would go away. She's been a great friend to me over the last couple of years, but right now I just want to be alone. Just me, my swing, and the dark night. Sounds like a recipe for disaster.
"Sure she would of. She's trying to hurt you. Its her way of getting you to prove you care." Great. She runs me over time and time again just to prove something, that she should already know. I run my fingers through my hair, staring at the house.
"I should go check on the kids, I'll see you tomorrow." I leave Susan swinging alone. She'll probably go home, she's been helping me move into the town house. I've had it since Becky and I got married, but after she died, I couldn't bare live here. We started living here again a few months ago. Now I think its best if we move back in. Especially since I am selling my Grandmothers house. A screech, brings me out of my reverie. I rush up the stairs, just like I have everyday since these nightmares started. The screams get louder, piercing my ears. I walk into his room, watching his tiny body quiver, as tears run down his cheeks. I lift him into my arms, his head nestles on my shoulder.
"Shhhh, its okay." The tears slow down, but his grip around my neck does not ease. I bring him downstairs, preparing to get him a glass of water. The doorbell rings, halting my expedition. Susan, I thought she was leaving, maybe I misunderstood. I pull the door open. Okay, so I guess Susan was leaving.
"Hi." She says it in a breathless way. Like she had been practising what to say, and that was the most clever thing she could come up with.
"Hi." I reply. I run my hands along Sebastian's shaking back. She smiles weakly, leading me to wonder why she's here. She wanted nothing to do with me before, now this. Before I say anything, I notice a bag in her hand, a familiar bears head is poking through the top. Right, giving the stuff back, my favourite part of breaking up. Sometimes you even find neat little gizmos that you forgot you had. This time I think it will be more painful, than neat.
"He okay?" She is watching Sebastian intently, I know she wants to hold him, bring him the comfort that she always has. I'm just not sure that is best, she's just going to take off, I don't want him to get his hopes up. I nod in response, checking to see that he's sleeping.
"Yeah... Just another nightmare." I turn around, heading upstairs. I hear the door shut, soon she's on my heels. Following me into Sebastian's bedroom.
The ride up the stairs must be a bumpy one for Seb, because he catches sight of Abby. A soft whimper is all that can be heard for a second. Until she is pulling him from my arms, now I am the one following her. She lays him down his bed, but he pulls her down with him. Resting his head in her lap. I guess two weeks without her was a lot for him. He is soon lying down across her body, she clutches him, whispering into his ear, that it will be okay. Maybe for her. Sebastian sees me watching over them, pulling me into bed, I half land on Abby, half on the bed. He situates himself across both of us, I put my arm around Abby for comfort and only comfort. She shocks me, when her head falls upon my shoulder. I run fingers through Sebastian's hair, his head still on her lap. He is using me more as a foot stool than anything else.
"Is he telling you what the nightmares are yet?" I shake my head, no. He won't talk about them in the morning, its like they're nothing but a joke to him. At night its like this. Shrieks and tears.
"I have a friend, she's a psychiatrist, she's in town for a few days, I'll get her to take a look at him tomorrow." Abby shoots me a look. One that I can only describe as sceptical.
"Maybe he won't tell her." She seems a little defensive... Reluctant even, jealous. I laugh a little. She's jealous of Dana. Susan must have told her about Dana. Sebastian has always liked Dana, he never took to he the way he took to Abby, but I have never seen him react that way with anyone but her.
"Don't worry Abby. No one will come in between you and Seb. Only distance." I add bitterly. This time the look she sends me is more a death glare. She sits up, trying to pull herself away from me, but considering Sebastian has pretty much got us both pinned to the bed, I don't think that will be possible.
"Who is she anyways." She relaxes a bit more.
"An old friend." I don't see why she cares. She's leaving, I can see or screw who ever I please. So can Seb for that matter, except he can't screw who he wants, I won't allow that. I watch as Abby sighs, collapsing against me.
"Okay." She runs her hands through her hair, obviously frustrated with me. I've put up with her for the last few months. I wouldn't have thought of it as putting up with her, not until now at least. Till she showed me how little she is willing to put into this, how much I don't need her. If I want to date Dana I will... Crap Dana. I glance over at the clock on Seb's wall. Uh-oh, Dana should be here in about ten minutes. She decided to stay here a bit longer, spend some time with Sebastian, Madison and I. She hasn't seen the kids in a while. She helped me with them, also, when Becky died. I think they miss her, she was always great with them. Maddie really liked her, Becky and Dana were friends, and they formed a bond, and they would take Madison out shopping and such. So Madison really missed Dana when she left Chicago for good a few years ago. She was like her second mom. She never really had anyone else, other than Susan.
"Why are you here?" I am trying to argue her out of my house. Its the only way she will go, without me falling completely in love with her... again. She tenses up a little, I pull my hand from behind her.
"I came to return some of Madison and Sebastian's stuff..." Her voice trails off, she seems hurt, pained. Maybe she doesn't really want to stay. Susan may be right, may be all I have to do is tell her to stay. But is it worth it? Shouldn't she want to stay, stay here with me. Our- my kids.
"Well do that... We don't need you." A mix of hurt and anger washes over her face. She carefully peels Sebastian off of her, extracting herself from the bed. She angrily leaves the room, storming down the stairs, I follow her, preparing to lock her out.
"I shouldn't have even come here. I should have gotten Susan to drop the stuff off. It was a bad idea." She shakes her head at me, roughly throwing her shoes and jacket on. "I should have known you would be such an asshole. I mean its who you are."
"Just leave." I run my fingers through my hair, she has a lot of nerve coming into my house and treating me like this.
"You're probably screwing that woman anyways." She says pulling her jacket on over her arm.
"Yeah I am Abby." I lie. She might know that I am lying but I don't care anymore... Its all getting to be too much. Too much stress, too much drama.
"You were probably fucking her while we were together. I mean I thought we still were together." You what? No she didn't. She did not think that, if that is some sort of sick revenge, or stupid revenge actually, than I don't know. I think low of her.
In the midst of our arguing the doorbell rings, Abby, being closer throws the door open. Dana stands in front of us. Abby looks as though she is about to throw her down the stairs, before she does, I lean in and gently kiss Dana on the lips.
Review Response
smilez4eva- We have one coming up lol.
ER-Carby-Luva- well the last few chapters have been a little delayed, but we're trying for more regular updates!
Jane- Don't worry I understand, I think Abby is awesome in season ten, she's come along way. I know some people don't like her, but I think shes kinda cool.