Leigh's Fanfiction Archive Stormkeeper's Fanfiction Freedom Chapter 17
Freedom
By Stormkeeper
Chapter 17
The inhabitants of Freedom were in need of good news and were very glad to hear of Beast and Panda's upcoming wedding and their impending arrival. They happily announced it to the group the following morning at breakfast. Not all X-men were eating the morning's meal with the group though. Hank and Panda later found Gambit and Rogue working with groups of camp survivors in the gym.
"Oh that's wonderful!" Rogue exclaimed, during the break when the newly-engaged couple delivered the news to the newlyweds. She gave a long hug first to Beast, and then Panda. Gambit also embraced both members of the pair.
"That's not all," Panda said. "I'm pregnant too!"
"Well, den, we have two t'ings to celebrate, no?" Gambit asked, smiling.
"I'm so happy for you both," Rogue said. "A weddin' and a baby! You lookin' forward to bein' parents?"
"This was a bit of a surprise," Panda admitted, sheepishly. She and Hank had decided to not make a secret of the fact that the pregnancy was unintended --- people would have figured it out sooner or later. But they were sure to let everyone know they were happy about it as well. "But we couldn't be happier."
"The lil' one can join Rory an Charlotte and Chris back on An'zhina," Gambit remarked.
"Yes," Hank said. Although pleased, his thoughts then began to drift. Given that Panda was pregnant, Hank certainly would not want her embarking upon any more rescue missions. Better that she stay safe on An'zhina, especially given what had happened during the last mission. Am I to join Cyclops, Jean and Jubilee as well, as a non combatant?' Hank wondered. How could he, when his skills were so needed on board Freedom? Besides, he had been recently promoted to Field Commander. He and Moira MacTaggert were the only doctors, and Moira had been firm that she was not setting foot off An'zhina. Siryn wanted her father to stay on An'zhina, and Moira was staying wherever Banshee would. But how could Hank leave Panda and, eventually, their child when he could be killed on a mission? It was merely by luck of the draw that FOH had killed Peter rather than Hank. Given how risky their missions were, Panda would not allow Hank to go embark on these missions when they had a child; Hank knew that now. But how could Freedom set out again with no doctor?
The reality of impending fatherhood was starting to sink in for Hank. My life will truly never be the same now.' All of the ramifications had not been clear to Hank the previous evening, as he and Panda had been immersed in happiness.
"Have you set a date?" Rogue was asking.
"We didn't pick anything concrete," Panda answered. "We need to give it some more thought." She turned and looked at Hank. "I guess sooner is better than later, though. I mean, it would be odd for me to walk down the aisle with my belly bulging more than it usually does," she said, patting her naturally rounded belly. She then stopped herself. "Not that I'm embarrassed about it though." She didn't like the hypocrisy either. Engaging in sex before marriage was no longer an aberration and they had nothing to be ashamed about. Panda's ears perked as she heard Rogue verbalize her very thoughts.
Rogue shrugged, "Heck it ain't like you're the only couple who jumped the gun on this stuff."
The two pairs chatted amicably for a while longer until break was over and the other mutants were eager to get on with what Gambit and Rogue were teaching them. Hank then turned to Panda. "We should inform Bobby." Hank's best friend had not been present during breakfast and was now scheduled for bridge duty. Panda nodded, and they then headed off for the bridge.
"Congratulations," Bobby was saying, moments later as he made a half-hearted attempt to appear merry. He knew he should try harder but couldn't bring himself to----not when he was so miserable himself. He awkwardly hugged first Hank and then Panda.
"I would also be most honored if you would serve as best man during the ceremony," Hank added.
"I'd love to. Thanks for asking," Bobby said, still failing at appearing happy for his friends. "I'm honored that you asked," he added, though it sounded strange and stiffly formal with his best friend.
"We shouldn't keep you much longer," Panda said, her eyes darting around the bridge.
"Yeah, I should be paying more attention to the monitors," Bobby said, turning towards his empty seat. Hank and Panda soon took their leave of him and headed back towards sick bay.
"Poor Bobby," Hank said. "He is still experiencing such distress over Northstar. I only wish there were some way to provide solace to him."
Panda sighed. "It's kind of a bummer that he can't even be happy for you, though. You're his best friend." She didn't attempt to disguise a hint of impatience in her voice. Hank knew that Bobby sometimes rubbed Panda the wrong way, and vice versa. Neither would ever be the other's favorite person.
Hank shrugged. "We must accept our friends the way they are. Bobby is a good person. However, when he becomes depressed as this, he is wrapped up in his own distress and cannot truly feel happy for anyone else. That is simply the way he is."
"Is it that he can't or won't? I mean, if your situations were reversed, you would not have hesitated to drop everything and share every bit of excitement with him. I mean, for goodness' sake, you don't get engaged or find out you're to be a parent every day!"
Hank reached for Panda's hand and held it. "I know. But as I said, I love and accept Bobby the way he is, including his failings. None of us are perfect human beings. He has a right to be depressed and I would not want a friend to be coerced into feigning something he does not feel either." Hank paused. "And my duty as a friend is to appear before him again and once more inquire as to whether he wishes to talk about it."
Panda shook her head. "Hank, you're a more patient person than I."
"I'm older. The years I have lived grant me patience."
Panda thought about it. "You'll be a good father," she said, voicing a conclusion she had already reached but one which Hank constantly reaffirmed.
One afternoon, Gambit and Rogue were taking a break in the rec room. They were joined by Hector Rendoza, Sam Guthrie and Dani Moonstar. All five had just come from a training session whereas the three "new recruits" were proving themselves good students. Gambit and Rogue were finding themselves surprised, too, at their own ability to teach and transmit fighting skills, helping the new ones to hone their instincts and harness their powers.
"I never knew I had this power," Hector was saying. He had learned through the training that his mutation allowed him to manipulate the visibility of objects he touched. When he touched another person, he temporarily transferred his powers to them; the other person's skin would temporarily become transparent as Hector's. It was a temporary effect, lasting only as long as he held on. Hector had not known of this because from the time his mutation had shown up to the time he came aboard Freedom, he had not had any skin-to-skin physical contact with another human being.
"Dat will be a good self-defense t'ing for you," Gambit said. "The effect is….disorienting." He spoke from experience; Hector had touched him during the training. Physically, it had felt uncomfortable and as if a burning sensation ran through him. Emotionally, too, it had been disturbing as Gambit had looked down at his arm and saw the muscles and bones, as if the skin were gone. He'd also seen Rogue's eyes widen with shock; Gambit could only imagine how his face looked. Fortunately, as soon as Wraith let go, Remy had returned to normal. Remy had seen Rogue exhale with relief then, too.
"We'll teach you how to control it, sugar," Rogue said. "It took me a while to learn how to control my own powers but we'll work with you to figure yours out. And hopefully it won't take you as long as it took me."
Gambit nodded. Probably the best Wraith could hope for would involve self-defense; his powers were not at the caliber of most of the X-men's. Now Cannonball and Moonstar, however….those were two powerful mutants. Gambit was glad they wanted to fight on the team. The X-men needed fighters to continue the struggle. Course, who knows what will happen when dey get to An'zhina,' Gambit wondered. Too many mutants had fallen in love with the white beaches and scenic hills of An'zhina, forgetting entirely about any intentions of training in earnest with the X-men and spending months on a drab starship. Happened to enough of the X-men too…' he speculated.
Almost as if she had read his thoughts, Moonstar asked, "Tell us what an average day on An'zhina is like. I can't wait to see this place."
"Well," Rogue said, "it's kinda like bein' on this ship but a whole lot prettier. There's a lot goin' on but nothin's mandatory. You can be a bump on a log if you wanna. And plenty of people are." She paused. "A lot of the camp survivors wanna continue with counseling, so there are groups they can go to or they can do one-on-one too. Jean Grey leads a lot of these groups and does a lot of counseling." They all knew Jean's name from having met her family. "An' we have a non-mutant doctor named Moira MacTaggert doin' a lot of these groups too. She's really cool and easy to talk to. She's been working with mutants a long time, and her husband Sean and daughter Siryn are mutants too." Rogue then corrected herself. "Step-daughter."
"Dere are a lot of other optional programs too," Gambit added. "Not like counseling but…." Gambit searched for the right words.
Rogue provided them for him, "Groups teaching self-esteem and that sorta thing. Scott Summers and Sean Cassidy lead a lot of those groups. You know, Cyclops and Banshee," Rogue said, providing them with the alias' they might've heard Scott and Sean referred to as.
"What sort of things do they do in those classes?" Sam asked.
"Well, you know how we all be taught to hate ourselves for bein' mutants," Gambit said. "Whether it's FOH or the media or the family or whoever dat teaches you to hate yourself, you gotta deal wit' it or it's gonna keep hauntin' you and keep pullin' you down. Dese groups work to reverse dat. Like, teachin' em to look at what beliefs dey have an' where dey got em from. Teachin' dem to do stuff dat dey can feel proud of an' learn to respect demselves." He turned to Rogue. "I heard ole' One-Eye doin' a real good job with dat stuff."
Rogue nodded and Gambit continued. "And anyone who wants to work on dere powers can do it wit' any of those four instructors. Dey train 'em."
"Jubilee's been doin' some of that stuff too," Rogue added. "Workin' with people on their powers. And counseling them if they want." She and Gambit exchanged a look. "I know, we forget that she's all grown up now."
"Is there a lot of free time too?" Sam asked. "I mean, even if you decide to train with the X-men?"
"Of course," Gambit answered. "Like here, you only gonna spend a few hours a day trainin'. Don't wanna get all burned out now. So dere's a lot to do in the free time. Dere are all dose gorgeous beaches."
"And the forest. It's lovely," Rogue added.
"An' de hills are beautiful to explore. We also got a rec room dat's about ten times as big as dis one, and we got a DJ Russ who plays good music. Dere's a woman named Agata who teaches dance lessons. Dere's a great gym too."
"What about work? I mean, other than training?" Dani asked, incredulously. This couldn't be the paradise everyone made it out to be. Could it?
"Dere's a lil' of dat. Bobby set up a community garden dat you can work on. You gotta clean your room too. If you want. But the building complex and everythin' is pretty self-cleanin'. We got replicators just like in here. Dere's just not a lot of work to do."
"Wow," Hector said.
"You can also keep training with us," Rogue said. "Be an X-man."
"You X-men look like….a good group," Moonstar said, searching for the right words. "Proud. Together. Like a family."
"Dat's what it is," Gambit said. "It wasn't always dis way but we got dere."
"You look like you love being X-men," Hector said. "I—I'm so honored to be part of this."
Cannonball and Moonstar voiced assent, and Cannonball continued. "You know, I sure appreciate everything y'all have done for us. I miss my family and friends like crazy. But bein' around all of you somehow makes it right tolerable. Makes the loneliness go away." Sam was speaking the truth. Spending months living in the Grey's attic hadn't been exactly paradise, but at least he'd been on earth and his family knew where he was. Once he'd boarded Freedom, it was hard. Living in space was a mind-blowing, shocking thing---especially to a young man raised to be a coal miner, one who had thought and hoped that he'd never leave Kentucky. Sam had spent a few nights just shaking in bed, too alienated to do much of anything. Once that letter had been beamed to his parents, informing him that he was safe, he felt slightly better. Each day grew easier, and the kindness and friendliness of the X-men had helped tremendously.
"Hey, Rogue and Gambit," Moonstar began, after a lull in the conversation, "who were those women who were brought on board the ship a couple days ago?"
Rogue and Gambit looked at each other. Keeping secrets on board Freedom just wasn't possible.
"I mean, not to pry or anything, but can't you tell us something about what happened?" Dani pressed. "I'm just curious."
"Their names are Marrow and Psylocke. They used to be X-men," Rogue said.
"Marrow and Psylocke?" Sam asked. "You mean the two ladies who rescued us from the FOH?" Hector nearly scoffed at Sam's using the designation "ladies" to describe those two. Hector would never forget the fierce look in Marrow's eyes.
"Yeah. We ran into them." Rogue turned to Moonstar and explained. "Both of them spent time at an FOH camp. They'd been training with us but decided to leave. They stole a shuttle and they now apparently spend their lives hunting down FOH ships and killing everyone on board. They helped rescue us from FOH though, just before we turned around and rescued you from the camp. But they didn't wanna re-join us. They wanna keep goin' on and hunting down FOH ships to hijack."
"Wow," Dani said.
"Now don't you go gettin' any ideas, girl!"
Dani smiled. "I'm a pacifist," she said truthfully. "I would never do something like that. I will only fight in self-defense."
Gambit shook his head. "Dough sometimes it be hard to get mad at the thought' of gettin' some revenge on the bastards." He and Rogue exchanged a look.
Jean Grey watched little Charlotte and Aurora frolic happily together as they made sandcastles on the beach. She was babysitting the two girls; Christopher was with his father, napping in a crib inside one of the classrooms as Scott and Jubilee led some training sessions this afternoon. "No, honey," Jean said to Rory as the girl lifted the red plastic shovel towards her lips. "Don't put that in your mouth."
Jean was subtly shielding her emotions from her daughter Charlotte. As Charlotte had the ability to sense other's feelings, Jean knew the 21 month-old did not need to experience the worry that pinched at Jean's psyche every now and then. Jean would teach her daughter to control her powers, but for the time being, it was better to block that emotion from hitting Charlotte. Jean couldn't explain how she did it; she just instinctively knew how.
Freedom was overdue. Not overdue by much but overdue. Approximately five days ago, they should have been within telepathic range. Jean should have been able to sense the Professor and vice versa. A day or two was an acceptable---and expected---delay. A delay of five days, however, was starting to look serious. Jean and Scott had a discussion earlier in the day, a discussion which left neither in a good mood.
"Could the Professor be sick? Or maybe he's too tired," Scott wondered.
"If that were the case, I would still be able to sense him. Or any of the others," Jean had said.
"Oh. Of course," Scott said, feeling foolish at his question. Jean patted his hand to reassure him.
"It could be anything," Jean said, though she knew those words sounded ridiculous as well. The fact remained that the X-men were in an exceptionally dangerous line of work. Sure, it could have been "anything" and "anything" generally meant trouble. "Maybe it's some minor engine problem," she added. "Maybe they are conserving dilithium and not warping at the usual speed."
"All we can do is wait and see," Scott said.
Jean nodded. She knew what he knew---there truly was nothing they could do. Taking the shuttle outside the mists surrounding Endaria would be risky and almost certainly futile. Jean found herself performing random scans, searching for her teammates, countless times per day. She tried to limit herself to one scan every ten minutes, knowing she was close to becoming obsessive about it.
A conversation took place at breakfast early one morning in the mess hall. Wolverine, Angel and Nightcrawler sat together as they ate, stocking up before the day's labor. Less than a third of the ship's inhabitants were up at this early hour; the dining room was much quieter than usual.
"I must ask you a question, Wolverine," Angel began, breaking the silence at their table at last. He had been meaning to ask this for days and days. He was now at a point where he no longer cared how ridiculous he might sound; he had to have an answer. "Are Psylocke and Marrow sleeping together? I know you can sense when two people have been together….because of the smell, and I know you were in the room with them during that-----"
"No," came Wolverine's curt reply.
"No? So they're not lovers?"
"Nope. Didn't smell it.".
Angel exhaled, feeling such relief. "Kurt, can you pass the butter?" he then asked abruptly. Nightcrawler passed him the butter, and Angel split open a bagel, remarking that the bagels had been good lately. He was eager to attempt to erase the awkwardness of his query and Logan's reply.
Angel then turned his head when the doors to the mess hall opened and Bobby Drake walked through. Iceman moped around, as he always did nowadays. Without hardly looking up, Bobby grabbed a bit of food and plopped down at an empty table on the other side of the large room. He'd felt hungry this morning though usually he had been forgoing breakfast.
Warren silently scoffed. Bobby's training had been the pits lately. Just like the old days when he was such a slacker. If one wanted a sure victory in the Danger Room, one only needed to play against the inept Bobby.
"Poor Bobby. I feel so bad for him," Kurt said quietly. The mess hall might not have been anywhere near full, but there was enough other conversion and Bobby sat far enough away that their words would not carry. "Northstar is having such trouble making a recovery and Bobby is really depressed over him."
Warren shrugged. "He needs to pull himself together and just get over it." Warren paused and added, "What does he expect? Those type of relationships never last."
"What do you mean?" Nightcrawler asked.
"Those gay relationships. They don't last, they're just about sex, and poor Bobby' just sets himself up for being miserable as long as he decides to...to pursue that."
"I think that's a little harsh, Warren," Nightcrawler said quietly.
Wolverine added, "Not sure all the generalizations you're makin' are true, bub. You and Psylocke broke up too."
"Yes, and we would not conclude that no heterosexual relationships ever last because of that, would we?" Nightcrawler remarked.
"Okay, okay, sheesh----sorry I brought this up," Warren said, defensively. The reference to the breakup with Psylocke didn't help his frame of mind. "Look guys, I've known Bobby longer than you have---it's gotta be 15 years now---and I remember him when he was a timid little 17 year old. He never was happy and I don't see how this homosexual stuff is helping him one bit. It just makes him miserable and I wish he'd cut it out."
"I am no expert on the subject of relationships, but from what I saw, he and Northstar had a good relationship before this," Nightcrawler said. "Jean-Paul is reacting as many victims of torture do, and Bobby is in the awkward position that the loved one of the tortured person is often in."
"You were there yourself, bub," Wolverine looked at Angel.
Angel clenched a fist. What a ridiculous comparison. "It wasn't the same thing," he said, his voice rising and his anger becoming more apparent. "Betsy and I had real love. Say whatever you want, but that homosexual crap isn't the same kind of love."
Just at that moment, several others approached their table including the Grey family, Professor X, Wraith, and about four other rescuees. They carried trays and were chatting away. The conversation Angel and the others had been taking part in was now over.
Storm had reached a decision. She thanked the Goddess for helping her resolve the situation in her mind. It is now time to swallow my pride and accept the loss,' she told herself. And try to move on.'
One evening, she and Wolverine made love in her quarters. Storm tried to memorize everything---the way he kissed her with his stubble brushing against her face, the feel of his calloused hands on her skin, his smell, the quiet groans that escaped from his mouth----everything. She willed her memory to imprint these rapturous details.
Afterwards, Wolverine shifted his weight on the bed. Storm knew, after so much time together, that he was getting ready to leave. She gently placed a hand on his arm. "Wait a moment, Logan," she implored, softly.
"What is it darlin'?" he asked, his voice tender.
For a split second, Storm questioned herself for choosing this moment, after sex, for the discussion. But she could not wait another minute and the two of them had so little time together as is. Besides, she had worked up her nerve for this and if she didn't bring it up now, she knew she would again fall prey to the desire for one last time with him, for putting off the inevitability of this ending. I must not be so weak, but in this one area, I am,' she knew.
"I wish to speak with you for a minute before you go," she said. Storm took a breath, feeling Wolverine's eyes on her. Her gaze was downwards, towards the white sheets she had bunched around her form. "Logan, I know you do not like to discuss such things, but I think we must." She paused briefly. "When we…began together, we agreed that should one of us want to be with another, we would be free to end this." She then turned to look at him and meet his eyes, and she gently asked him. "Don't you think I see the way you look at Sara? I am not blind. I do not wish to hold you back….I want you to be happy. So please…if this is what you want, go ahead and pursue Sara. I dearly hope she might bring you happiness."
Wolverine took a moment to absorb her words; he had not expected them. And then he was glad that Storm had given him leave to go. He had not wanted to bring it up himself'; he loved and respected her too much, having no wish to hurt her feelings. But Sara Grey made his heart throb and his head spin. He wanted her. "Ororo," he said, "thank you." He took her hand and held it. "And I want you to know that I enjoyed our time together. I respect you and care about you very much."
"And I, you, Logan. Very much so." Storm paused and then looked down, finding it hard to keep looking at his eyes. This might be the hardest part. "And I also will swallow my pride and say this. If, for some reason, things do not work out with Sara…I will welcome you back with open arms." She managed a smile, flinching at her own words. The Goddess of the Elements may as well get down on her knees and grovel….' she mused. She dislodged her hand from his.
"Thank you, darlin'. I might take you up on that offer." Though he hoped he would not have to and that Sara would respond to his advances. He still didn't know how Sara felt but was sure he could win her over. Wolverine then reached a hand to cup Storm's chin and pulled her towards him for one final kiss.
He then dressed himself and left Storm's room. As he walked down the hallway to his own quarters, he ruminated for a bit. Several times, he had thought that perhaps Storm had strong feelings for him, that she might have loved him as more than a teammate. She doesn't,' he told himself with finality. If she did, she would've fought for me. Maybe I was flatterin' myself to think that she ever wanted to be more than friends.'
Later, long after Wolverine had gone, Storm remained in her bed. Her body shook slightly but she allowed no tears to escape.
An exhausted Jean Grey flopped down onto the bed in her room. She had just finished a thorough cleaning of the walls, carpet and other substances inside the room. All the rooms in the main building were generally self-cleaning----except in the case of major messes, in which case human intervention was required. This was one of those such instances.
Jean had left Charlotte alone in the room for about 10 minutes as she ran a quick errand. Charlotte had happily been playing with her toys but the adventurous toddler soon got the idea to explore the room. She came upon the diaper pail and, fascinated, pulled out one of the diapers and dragged it all about the room. Jean had returned to find the room a mess. Charlotte had dragged soiled diapers all along the walls, carpet, bed, and dressers. So Jean worked diligently, wanting to have the room cleaned and aired out before Scott (who had Christopher with him) returned from the class he was teaching. During the cleaning, Charlotte stood by quietly, knowing she had done something that she was not supposed to do.
Jean had just finished the odious job of cleaning up after Charlotte when she performed a quick mental scan as she did habitually, numerous times per day. Charlotte startled as she felt her mother experience first shock and then massive waves of relief.
Charles! You're there!Jean mentally communicated to her Professor.
Yes, Jean. We're here. We're on our way back to An'zhina.
I was worried. You're several days later than we expected. Is everything alright?
I am afraid I have some very good news and same bad news too. I will give you the good news first.He told her this, knowing that she would indeed first want to hear the good. Your parents, sister, niece and nephew are all on board Freedom now, returning with us.
The jolt of pure happiness that Charlotte felt radiating from her mother was almost shocking to the child. She heard her mother literally squeal with joy. Charlotte then felt happiness rushing through her own system.
I can sense them! Oh my heavens!! Mom….Dad…..Sara….Gail and Joey! And…and they all seem to be alright.
They are. They're just fine and all looking forward to seeing you. Gail and Joe are mutants too.
That is wonderful!But just as Jean was on a high from that news, something the Professor had just said was only now registering and she had to know more. Professor, said also that you had bad news. I must know what it is.She also knew, from being in this sort of contact with his mind, that Charles was exhausted, mentally and physically, and even battling some guilt too.
We are late because we were captured by the Friends of Humanity. We all came close to losing our lives. Colossus is dead, killed by FOH.
Charlotte startled once again as her mother's mood plummeted. The child began to softly cry, more at frustration with all the feelings coursing through her rather than sorrow. Naturally as it came to her, she was only a toddler and could not control all these sensations. Jean noticed her daughter's distress. She picked up the baby and shared some gentle, reassuring emotions with her, tenderly stroking the child.
Oh no. Peter is dead. I can't believe it. Poor Elena must be devastated.
This has been a difficult mission. Everyone has been keeping an eye on Elena and working with her. I believe she will pull through. Fortunately, we had no other fatal casualties, and we successfully rescued 126 mutants. They are with us now and virtually all of them are looking forward to life on An'zhina.
Jean allowed those words to register now. There was much work to be done, then. She and Charles finished their brief update. Jean, then, could no longer wait to touch the minds of her family, connect with them briefly and tell them she loved them. She did so, knowing that they had always been ever-so-slightly off-put by her powers. The sensation of someone else speaking into your mind was a bit bizarre. This time, though, the Greys all seemed completely unphased by it. More than that, they were overjoyed to hear from Jean.
I will be counting down the hours until we see one another!Jean told them all.
Sara Grey was elated at the contact she and her sister had just had. Jean had just spoken in her mind, reassuring her that all would be well and they'd be together in a few days. Sara did her best to think her replies back to Jean and it had worked! They had communicated with each other...after all these years.
Sara and her parents almost had to force themselves not to jump up and down with glee. After having been apart for so long, not knowing whether Jean was alive or dead….now they were a few short days from being able to see each other! It was incredible. They would hug and sit down and catch up like the sisters that they were. Sara would get to meet and hold her new niece and nephew, and Jean would gush at how much Gail and Joe had grown.
Sara's head still spun at the events from the last several weeks. She could still hardly believe that she was aboard a starship, lightyears away from earth now. Her life up until a few short years ago had involved marriage, raising the two children, and working part-time as a dental hygienist. All of her possessions backs on earth were gone now as she headed for a world that she could still only dream about. Sara's mind was now blown at the difference.
Sara and Jean had been close sisters---fairly close, though ever since Jean's powers had manifested themselves, a gap had been instilled between the two of them. Jean was a mutant. Sara was not. Accordingly, their lives then took on divergent paths ---Sara going to college, getting married soon afterwards, parenting two children, and leading a life of relative normalcy. Jean, on the other hand, had gone off to the exotic-sounding Xavier Institute for the Gifted where she became part of a second family. Jean would bring home pictures of her friends, some of whom appeared very odd-looking. She brought Scott Summers home, a kind man who could never remove his visor. And the Greys had soon learned that Jean went off on fairly dangerous missions as well, something they struggled with. More than once, the other Greys had begged Jean to stop this X-men nonsense and come back home. Though their lives had taken quite divergent paths, Sara and Jean had always remained friends.
Because they were friends, they confided in each other. Sara poured out her frustrations with her marriage and her job woes. Jean shared less than Sara, though she did tell her of some of the things she struggled with. One of those "things" was aboard Freedom with Sara now.
Wolverine.
Jean had talked to Sara about the entire scenario, years ago -- the "love triangle" (ridiculous as it sounded) she had been in. She made it clear that she loved Scott and always would….though she also had an attraction to this man who her husband often quarreled with. This man who pursued her regularly.
Before she came aboard Freedom, Sara recalled having met Wolverine only once before. It was at Jean and Scott's second wedding ceremony. Wolverine had not made much of an impact on Sara as the dark, short man had been sullen, speaking to almost no one. A few weeks afterwards, Sara had visited the newlyweds and at one point privately asked Jean whether that Wolverine was the same one she had spoken about, the one who had wanted her. "Yes," Jean had said. "But my days of indecision are over. I know Scott is right for me and I will never betray him." She sighed. "I wish Wolverine would find someone for himself."
Sara's confusion grew with every passing day and week of their voyage to An'zhina now and she really found herself wishing for her sister's counsel. At first, Sara had thought Wolverine and Storm were "an item." She couldn't recall where exactly she got that idea from, but after her first day or two on board, she had asked someone about it----perhaps Sam or Hector. Whoever it had been said yes, that Storm and Wolverine were a couple. The times she had seen the two together, though, Sara hadn't really been sure as to whether they were truly a couple or not. But Sara saw the way Storm looked at Wolverine a few times and decided it must have been true; they really were together.
Something had changed, though, during their journey to An'zhina, Sara detected. She started to rarely see Wolverine and Storm together. And Wolverine's behavior towards Sara definitely had changed. It had been a long time since Sara had been wooed by anyone (she and Tom had married when Sara was only 22) and Sara kept disbelieving and discounting what she saw from Wolverine. I must be misreading what I'm seeing,' she continuously told herself. He's just being friendly. I have to ask Jean about this as soon as I get to this An'zhina.'
Whatever the case, a relationship was not first and foremost on her mind. Sara had her children to think about, getting them up to speed with and comfortable with their powers. Joe's training was going remarkably well and he had learned to harness his powers. Gail was growing more comfortable with her unusual looks; she was finally coming out of her shell.
On top of everything, there was something else going on for Sara. Something else to make sorting out her feelings all the more difficult.
Late one evening. Beast sat in the medical laboratory, hunched over a microscope. The mutants on board Freedom had untold diseases and infections, and Hank was attempting to learn all he could about them. He had enough work for a hospital full of doctors and a university full of researchers.
Hank startled when he felt two hands touch his shoulders, and he was unable to suppress a gasp. "Panda!" he exclaimed, whirling his head around and feeling surprise and then delight at the sight of his fiancee. His thoughts took a detour from his work momentarily. I cannot believe I am soon to be a husband and a father,' he mused as he gazed at Panda's loving face. Ten years ago---or even three or four years ago----he would never have dreamed that his life would take this path.
"Working late again, big guy?" Panda asked, smiling. Hank also knew her well enough to detect that there was something more behind that question.
"Yes," he replied, swiveling around on his chair to face her. Feeling guilty---as he knew perfectly well he had been neglecting her somewhat, though not to any greater degree than usual---- he went on to describe what he was working on and how it might be beneficial to the inhabitants of Freedom and An'zhina. Knowing Panda took an interest in his work, as she was nearly as brilliant as he, Hank spoke in great detail about his project.
"Uh-huh," Panda nodded, listening to Hank though, it appeared, not with the same intensity as usual. Most of the time she played an active role in his projects; they worked on several undertakings together and she was nearly as knowledgeable as he. Hank was somewhat perplexed as to why her interest seemed less than usual tonight. "When's the last time you took a break?" she asked. As Panda spoke, she caressed the back of Hank's neck and shoulders.
"I am not certain," Hank said. Panda's hand now reached towards his chest, swept over his fur and paused to fondle his nipples. "I—uh---think perhaps between four to, uh, four-and-one-half hours." Hank's voice quivered as his heart rate began to accelerate.
"That's a long time," Panda said. She bent her head down towards his face and deliberately bit an earlobe. She then tongued it.
"Oh my," Hank breathed. He liked what Panda had just done. "Well, perhaps this would be a wise time to take a moment's respite from my undertaking. Oftentimes our minds function better when we pause to relax. I know I, uh, sometimes become absorbed in my endeavors and subsequently fail, um, to ensure that I…oh my….oh my stars and garters!" Panda had adroitly unzipped his pants and was now kneeling in front of Hank, taking his member into her mouth.
"Panda," he gasped, "anyone could interrupt us at any time. We----"
"I know," she said, tilting her head up and smiling at him. "Makes this more fun, huh?" She bent her head back down and resumed her exciting task.
"Uh….well…" Hank's voice gave out; he was now at a loss for words. He leaned back into his seat and let Panda go to work on him. His last rational thought was the earnest hope that they would not be interrupted at this hour, though an intrusion was entirely possible. His cock was steadily becoming very rigid.
Panda loved what she was doing, liking both the taste and the feel of him moving in her mouth, as well as the idea that she was bringing him such enjoyment. She tongued his most sensitive spots. Then, she easily took as much of his length into her mouth as possible and moved her head up and down on it.
Hank felt the tension and stress drain out of him, replaced by the most pleasurable sensations. He reached a hand towards her head and gently stroked the fur on top. He wanted to tell her how much he liked this, and also wanted to offer to do something to reciprocate. Oftentimes Hank found words failing him during encounters such as this, but he felt thankful that he never had to worry about Panda not communicating her needs and desires. If she wanted something, she simply suggested it and Hank gladly went along. What he lacked in creativity and new ideas, she more than made up for.
However, after a while, Hank found his voice, "That's good," he whispered, gently nudging her face away. He was very close to orgasming and did not want it to happen too soon. Panda pulled back and looked up at him. After swiftly lifting her frock up and lowering her underclothes, she then scanned the laboratory. She hadn't expected to find any cushions, so she then simply lay on her back on the floor. Hank's eyes grew wide as Panda spread her legs invitingly.
For a split second, Hank considered creating a makeshift Do not disturb' sign and placing it on the door, but quickly decided against it. He didn't think he would be able to maintain his composure and couldn't tear himself away from the allure of his fiancee. His cock was so aching for relief now. He lowered himself to the ground from his chair and knelt before Panda, placing a kiss on her moist labia. However, he then felt Panda reach for his head and gradually lift it up. He knew from her gestures that she wanted him inside her right away.
Hank therefore slowly lowered his weight on top of Panda and then paused to rub his hardness against her throbbing clit. Panda moaned, and then reached for him to enter her. He did so, feeling how deliciously wet she was. Hank pumped away, Panda thrusting her hips up to meet his strokes.
Meanwhile, Professor Xavier had been heading towards the infirmary, escorting one of the rescued mutants who needed a refill on a mild medication he took for routine aches and pains. Fortunately, before they reached the door, Xavier took a quick mental scan. The Professor was then forced to swiftly concoct a reason why they needed to wait.
The trip back to An'zhina had been like a long, gray nightmare for me, one which I kept hoping I'd wake up from. I walked around on auto-pilot most of the time, though all my friends kept trying to console and help me. But Jean-Paul's mental condition deteriorated; he was never in a good mood and had no kind word for me. And then one day, perhaps a few days from An'zhina, something really bad between us happened.
I don't know what to call it. I wouldn't call it rape, because I kind of wanted it and I didn't try to put up a fight. (If I had fought back, I could have iced him. And he could have tried to overpower me—he is way faster and stronger too, though my ice-shooting ability probably could have incapacitated him if I could've moved quickly enough.) Part of me really wanted it, but at the same time, part of me didn't. Maybe I thought it would somehow magically make things better and that is why I didn't put up more of a struggle. Maybe I was just desperate to be touched by him –by anyone -- since he hadn't let me near him at all. Jean-Paul had barely touched me at all since our capture and his torture.
It happened one day as I brought some food to him. Usually Jean-Paul ignored me or yelled at me to get out of his room but I, undeterred, visited him at least once per day. Such a glutton for punishment and I always felt terrible after my daily trip to his room but I did it anyway. This time, he grabbed me, pressed his mouth against mine in such a rough way as he never had before, and then stepped back, ordering me to undress. So that started it. I stupidly did everything he said, letting him pin me to the bed.
Well, wait a minute—that's not totally true. I did break away for one rational moment and insist he put on a condom. Shockingly, he agreed to that. See, I really was complicit in this act. So I can't call it rape.
Jean-Paul usually was a tender and affectionate partner. This time he was rough, barely waiting until I was physically ready for him to enter, not kissing me as he usually did or murmuring any words of love in French. Practically the second after we were done, he barked at me to get out of his room.
But I still don't know what to call that encounter. I mean, I had an orgasm. So I obviously got something out of it too. I don't know.
I pulled on my clothes and returned to my room, feeling like the Bobby of 15 years ago, full of self-loathing and about two inches tall. So I mentally started down that dark path. I started spiraling down, listening to those old messages that told me I was worthless and better off dead. I started questioning why I went on with this pathetic life.
But then I stopped myself. I didn't want to wallow in self-pity or entertain the idea of trying to kill myself again. I just didn't want to go through it again, and I knew better. Everything I'd lived through had taught me better than that. I thought of all those who cared about me and decided to seek their help, instead of wrapping myself up in my misery and pretending I'm alone.
Hank made the time to listen and help me. Good old wise, compassionate, patient Hank. What a gem he is. I sometimes wondered why he was so kind to me, especially since I hadn't mustered much happiness for him when he and Panda told me of their engagement and pregnancy. He'd been such a golden and solid friend to me and I never quite reciprocated as much. I nearly told him that I didn't deserve such a good friend but I stopped that. And Hank---busy and tired as he was---made the time to hold me and talk to me, helping me pull myself out of the depression.
Hank left my room late into the night (actually, early the following morning) and I felt much better. I then resolved a few things. I didn't deserve to be treated the way Jean-Paul was treating me. I would cease going to his room and cease contact with him. I knew he was hurting but I (and lots of others, including the Professor) had entreated him to open up and let us try to help about a hundred times so far, to no avail. So I would then minimize or eliminate my contact with him.
I also resolved that perhaps after some time had passed, I would write him a letter and tell him how I felt, and I'd also offer to help and listen to him. But I wasn't going to do this right away and I certainly wasn't going to take any more shit from him.
Jean stood, watching the starship begin its landing procedures. It was late on An'zhina, the sky dark now, several hours past dinnertime. Outdoor lights had been installed in this area, illuminating the darkness.
Jean and Scott had long since put Christopher down to sleep for the night. It was well past Charlotte's bedtime as well, but the toddler couldn't sleep due to the excitement she felt from her parents, especially her mom. Jean knew that Charlotte wasn't sure exactly what was about to happen, but she knew it would be positive and exciting. So Jean and Scott allowed her to stay with them, and Scott held the girl in his arms as they watched Freedom land in the clearing not far from the main complex.
The inhabitants of Freedom slowly disembarked. Dozens and dozens of people rescued from the horrors of the FOH camp walked down the ramp, their eyes wide and mouths open. Banshee, Moira, Jubilee, and several of the mutants the X-men had rescued met and greeted the new citizens of An'zhina, offering to show them around, assign them quarters, and help them get adjusted. Days beforehand, Freedom had transmitted the names of the new rescuees to An'zhina, and everything had been made ready to receive them. A small reception would be held in the recreation room; Russ was set up to play music and sweet treats would be ready to go.
Jean kept scanning the crowd, waiting to catch a glimpse of her family as they descended the ramp. Her eyes seized on Joe first. Then in the space of an instant, she saw all of the rest, Gail right behind her brother, followed by Sara, Elaine and John. Jean ran up to them, Scott and Charlotte close behind. She reached her parents first.
John and Elaine Grey embraced their daughter, squeezing her close against them as they were so overjoyed. Cries of "I missed you so much!" and "I'd been so worried I'd never see you again!" could be heard. John let the hug go first so he could step back and look at Jean.
"Thank heaven you're safe," he murmured, still disbelieving he was standing before his elder daughter after so long. Elaine simply began crying, mostly because of the emotions that overwhelmed her but also thinking of what she now knew Jean had been through.
John and Elaine then wanted to see their new grandchildren just as Jean wanted to catch up with her sister and see how much her niece and nephew had grown. Scott stepped forward, Charlotte in his arms. He beamed with pride as he held the girl. The Greys hugged Scott first, and then held their granddaughter, marveling and cooing over her. Charlotte smiled happily up at them, delighting in the fact that these people were awed and overjoyed at seeing her.
Meanwhile, Jean hugged her sister, niece and nephew, telling them how good it was to see them again. Jean made it a point to tell Gail how beautiful she was, as she knew that people's reactions to the girl's mutant looks must have caused Gail much grief back on earth.
"Charlotte's a mutant too," Jean said, turning back towards her parents who were still gushing over Charlotte. "I don't yet know what all of her powers will be, but she does feel the emotions that others near her are feeling. You see how happy she looks right now. She feels what all of us are feeling." Jean paused and then added, "I know you're feeling a bit awed and overwhelmed at being on this strange, new world too. Charlotte feels some of that as well."
"That must be confusing for her," John said.
"Sometimes it is. Usually just if Scott or I hold her and tell her
it'll be alright, then she'll be fine. It will take her some time to learn
how to control her powers."
"Isn't she young for her powers to develop so quickly?" John asked.
"Yes. It might be because both her parents are mutants; we don't know."
"Can we see our youngest grandchild?" Elaine asked.
"He's asleep," Scott said. "But come on, we'll show him to you. He just turned 6 months old."
The family made their way to the main complex, Jean and Scott pointing out various things as they walked---which outdoor trails led where, the direction of the beach and of the forest. Once inside, they pointed out the direction of the dining hall, the rec room, the corridors which led to other people's rooms. Sara observed it all, her mind reeling from all of this.
The Greys spent several hours together, late into the night. Charlotte had been put down to sleep for the night, but the others remained talking in the room that had been assigned to John and Elaine.
"How do you feel to be here?" Jean asked her family. "I know it must feel shocking and alienating to be so far from earth."
"It will take some getting used to," Elaine admitted.
John shook his head. "I had a revelation during the trip here. The money and the house and all those things back we left back on earth don't matter so much. I used to think they were so important, and I worked hard for all those years to save for our retirement. Now it doesn't matter."
"What's important is that we're all here together," Sara finished for him.
"And all of our material needs are taken care of here on An'zhina," Scott added. "We all left money and possessions behind on earth but you won't need any of them here. You can basically replicate whatever you need---within reason."
John nodded. "I understand. I don't miss any of the money we left behind. I miss a few things, though. Like photo albums."
"And the letters we exchanged before we were married," Elaine said, turning to John and smiling. "And the jewels my mother and grandmother left me. I miss them because they meant something to me, not for their financial value."
"Yes," John said. "I miss the sentimental things. But," he said, taking Elaine's hand, "as our wise daughter said, the most important thing is that we're all safe and sound together."
After a while, most of the group were finding themselves unable to keep their eyes open, so they each drifted off to their own rooms. Sara and Jean, however, wanted to continue talking and catching up. They walked together to Sara's new room, which was across the hall from the rooms of Gail and Joe.
"Goodnight," Jean said, hugging her niece and nephew after their mother had.
"Night Aunt Jean," Gail and Joe both called.
Jean then opened the door to Sara's new room. "It will take me a while to get used to calling him Joe, and not Joey,'" Jean admitted, as they entered the room.
"I still stumble on it all the time," Sara said. "What happened to the little baby who used to be in my arms?? He's now 11! And Gail is 13. The time goes by quickly, Jean. You'd better cherish your little ones while you have them." Sara looked around the room, opening the door to the bathroom and peaking in, opening up dresser drawers and looking in the closet, touching nearly each surface. "Looks just like Mom and Dad's room. Beautiful. I love the coloring----it's light and airy. Much better than those rooms on Freedom with their metallic walls."
"Yes. The rooms here in this building are more or less identical," Jean said. "Some of them have slight variations but they're basically the same and the square footage is the same too."
"You and Scott must get crowded with Charlotte and Christopher in your room."
"We are starting to outgrow it. We have his crib next to our bed and Charlotte's bed is in the alcove, but soon enough, both of them will need their own space. As good a kid as Charlotte is, Scott and I are starting to wish for our own room. We're wondering if we could maybe have the room next to ours made into an adjoining room. It's Colossus's room now and I'm sure he'll…." Jean stopped herself. "My God. How could I have forgotten? I still can't believe that Peter's dead."
Sara put a hand on her sister's shoulder. "I'm sorry that he's gone. I never knew him but I could tell he touched a lot of people."
Jean squeezed her eyes together as if willing herself to hold back any tears. "He was a wonderful man. So kind and gentle. Always wanting to do the right thing. And a powerful fighter too." Jean swallowed the lump in her throat. She reminded herself to check in with Elena the next day and see if the woman needed anyone to talk to. "I feel so sad, and at the same time, so angry that they took him away from us like this."
"I know! I feel that way too," Sara said. "I'm madder than hell when I think about it! What gives those so-called Friends of Humanity the right to pull people out of their homes and round them up into camps! Or to kill someone like your friend. Or to---" Sara then stopped herself. At first, she did not want to bring up another subject that had to be painful to Jean. However, at the same time, she didn't want to pretend that nothing had happened and ignore it. Knowing Jean, she knew her sister wouldn't want that either. "Storm told me what FOH did to you while you were their prisoners," she blurted out.
Jean took a breath. "That's okay. We're not ashamed about it. I'm not. We survived it."
"Well, I wanted to say that if you need anyone to talk to or anything, I'm here for you." The words sounded stiffly formal to Sara, as their interactions the past several years sometimes had been. Saying the words themselves felt awkward, too, but Sara felt that was preferable to leaving it unsaid.
"Thank you, Sara. I prefer to try to keep it behind me. It's hard, though. I'm sure you've also been told that's what FOH does to about all of their female prisoners. So you will see and hear people talking about this subject all the time, and most of the women on An'zhina are in counseling, trying to deal with what was done to them. The subject of rape has become dinnertime conversation here since it's so familiar to all of us. It's impacted each and every one of us, including the men here just because of how they must deal with the women."
Sara shook her head. "How can those FOH people do that? What the hell is wrong with them?? I mean, don't they have wives or sisters of their own??" Sara's fists were clenched. "I just thank heavens my children and I are safe now."
"Me too," Jean said, her voice sounding a bit distant. Better the memories behind me,' she said. No sense dwelling on it.'
"Let's talk of happier things. Jean, I need your advice on something."
"Anytime, little sis."
"Tell me…what do you know of this….Wolverine guy? He is—I mean, isn't he the guy who used to like you? As in, like you a lot?" Sara knew she sounded somewhat ridiculous, as if she and Jean were teenagers again, but she had to bring this up and didn't want to wait until the next day.
Jean smiled. "Yes, he's the one. There was a time when he liked me a lot and he wanted me to leave Scott. But I'm glad I never betrayed Scott and I think the attraction has really lessened---on both of our sides. Once Scott and I married, Wolverine pretty much stopped trying to win me over."
Sara nodded. She then let a second or two elapse and said, "I think he wants me."
Jean had to restrain a gasp. "Really? Why do you say that?"
Sara then went on to describe her interactions with Wolverine during the past several days. The brief conversations they'd had, the look Logan got on his face, the pitch his voice assumed when they spoke. Although it had been a long time since she'd been courted, Sara recognized the little gestures he did, tacitly asking for permission to get closer and spend more time together. Perhaps it was because subtlety was not Logan's strong point that his intentions were becoming more clear, though Sara still continued to question it.
Jean listened, fascinated. "I—I just am a bit surprised," she said. "I thought that he and Storm were----"
"So did I! But something has changed, Jean. I don't think they're together anymore."
Jean and her sister continued to talk well into the early hours of the morning. Jean resolved to see Storm as soon as possible.
After the newest citizens of An'zhina had been shown to their quarters, given tours, and had any and all questions answered, most of them went to bed. However, many of them congregated in the rec room, despite the late hour. Music was playing and desserts passed around. Colorful streamers and balloons had been hung in the rec room to welcome the new mutants.
"Look at that one guy. Yuuuuck!"
Todd was sitting next to his friend Hou Sang on one of the deep and cushiony sofas inside the rec room. He quietly nudged Hou Sang as he spoke and subtly pointed out Hector Rendoza.
"Oh my," Hou Sang said quietly. As always, Hector was as covered up as possible, complete with a hooded sweatshirt. But that face….with the ghoulish eyes allowing you to see their very sockets….
"Man, he's ugly," Todd said. "I gotta thank God my mutation didn't do that to me." Todd shook his head. "I can't even keep looking at him---makes me wanna lose my lunch. There's one guy who'll never get laid."
Hou Sang smirked and laughed, though neither he nor Todd had had any luck with the ladies on An'zhina either.
Chapter 16
Chapter 18