Chapter 46
I take the lamp off my side table and wrap it bubble wrap and place it into the box I have marked fragile about a million times. I hate moving things, because something always breaks. It has to. The movers always have to break something, some form of a twisted tradition. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. This is insane. I'm insane. So I'm going away to be with my crazy family. Now it makes sense. It all works out. I close the box and secure it with tape. It's 7:58 in the morning and I'm packing my boxes. I'm not leaving for another 2 months, but someone's already interested in my condo, and I need to get rid of it before someone decides that they don't want it. I'm staying at Susan's. She has an extra bedroom, and since she's slowly working less and less, and more immobile, it would work well for both of us. I don't' know how Chuck feels about it, but I could careless.
I push the box towards the door, the movers are coming eventually to take this stuff and ship it to Minnesota. My mother bought a house, and well she has more room than she knows what to do with. And I don't mind living with my mom. She's been on her meds recently, so maybe it will be okay. If worse comes to worst, I can find a residency in China. Or Antarctica. Maybe even Alaska. Who knows where this is all leading. I take off my robe, my body almost instantly cooled. My tank top is soaked with sweat, the weather has been hell lately. It needs to rain, and its humid, but it won't. Chicago weather likes to torture me. I roll up the ends of my pyjama pants and turn them into versatile Capri's. I feel better. At least no one will see me walking around like this. I collapse against the sofa. I don't' even know if I'm working today. Probably tonight. The graveyard shift, my pride and joy lately. Its the only way I can avoid seeing Carter. Its way too complicated to even begin to think about. I push the pillow under my head and close my eyes, letting the air from the fan hit my body and cool it. The world is suddenly silent, except for a persistent tapping. That tapping is getting extremely annoying. I wonder what it is. I sit up on my elbows. Oh. It's my door. I stand up and throw my robe on, not bothering to tie it. Damn people, don't they know its like eight in the morning?
I trudge over to the door, the movers said around noon, not eight in the morning. I unlock my door and quickly open it. I wish I could quickly slam it. No such look. I open the door wider and let the Devil Incarnate into my apartment. I know her from what I've heard about her. I've seen her kiss my ex boyfriend. Whatever works to fuck Abby over, right? What does she want from me now? To tell Sebastian and Madison that I hate them, and I never want to see them again? Does she want to make me out to be the horrible bitch, and she the perfect angel? I don't think so. I walk back to my window, and open up another one that I seemed to see closed. I see her look around my apartment in the corner of her eye. What? Isn't the place good enough for you? I'm attempting to restrain myself. I pick up a pack of cigarettes from the table and my lighter comes out from my pocket. I light the tip and inhale, pulling the toxins and nicotine into my system. A bad habit for a horrible person. Big deal what she thinks. I walk over to the window and sit on the ledge. I'm not bitter at all.
"Abby."
I look at her and she has uncomfortable written across her face. I wish I knew what she wanted, it would make everything much, much easier for both of us. Did he send her here to check up on me or something? I watch her run her hand through her dark brown hair. She straightens her jacket and carelessly plays with her shoes on the carpet.
"I'm sorry for coming here, and so early. I'm catching a plane in a few minutes."
And I care because? I really don't. That plane of yours definitely is not coming fast enough in my book, sweetheart. I throw the butt of my cigarette out the window. I wonder if a falling cigarette butt thrown out of a fifth story window could kill someone? Its falling at 9.98 meters per second, and gaining velocity. But then again you would have to factor in wind resistance. See, I would rather see that plane of yours go down a couple hundred miles per hour into a nice concrete spot, gaining velocity as it falls. Always loved gravity. Never bothered me.
"I just wanted to tell you that nothing happened between me and John."I roll my eyes, wrapping my arms closer to my body. I look out the world beginning to move below me. I love my view. I'm going to miss it.
"Yes, and Carter used to kiss Frank the same way." I hear her expensive heels hit my wooden floor as she makes her way towards me. Why would he choose me over her? She's beautiful, rich, intelligent, powerful. I'm nothing and nobody. He'd be stupid if he chose me over her. Hell, I think I would choose her over myself. She leans against my now empty cabinet and looks at me.
"Nothing happened. He's angry and jealous. I'm engaged. He loves you, you're just too blind or stupid to see it." She turns around and starts heading towards my door. I watch her go. Something makes me want to follow her and drill her for details, and the other half wants me to stand here, right by the window, and watch her go, wishing her and Carter the best. Of course, neither is an option. She stops and comes back.
"I hate to admit it. Becca was one of my closest friends, but he... He loves you... More than I thought it was possible for him to love a person. You're destroying him... You don't see it because you choose not to. You're leaving him and his kids, who have grown attached to you. What kind of person are you? You're a mother deserting her children. Those are your children, I never heard Abby from them. I heard mom. Constantly, around the clock, driving John insane. "When is mom coming home?" or "Daddy, I want mommy." Its not fair to them. At least think of Seb and Maddie."
She turns back around and prances, slamming the door behind her. I slowly sit down on the floor, making my body cooperate with me. My children? Are they really my children? I never even thought of that. I thought of it as a phase, a type of momentary dependence. Not something that would have a profound effect on them. They've already lost one mother. Am I going to be the second? I'm not biologically theirs. They shouldn't.. I shouldn't... No. This isn't fair. Its not supposed to happen this way. Shit. I walk to my bedroom, sifting through the mess, pulling out a pair of jeans and a clean dark blue shirt. I quickly pull them on, and grab my purse. Why the hell am I doing this? Why am I going back? Am I being the weak one? Or the strong one? Is this the right thing to do? To me it is. I don't' give a damn what he says. I want to see Maddie and Sebastian. I want to see him. I race out the door.
My pace quickens as I get closer to the L. I quickly run through the platform. My feet tap impatiently against the wood. It's not like their going anywhere. Why am I running? I finally realized I'm missing something, and now I can't get there fast enough to start building it up again. The train finally comes, and I get onto it. I don't bother to sit down. The ride is only a few minutes anyway. Those few minutes can't take longer to pass. Finally I see my stop coming up and when the doors open, I'm the first one out. I make my way quickly down the stairs and toward his street. I'm practically running, well not really. A slight jog, maybe. I finally see his house in the distance, and I quickly my pace even more. I straighten my messy hair and ring the doorbell. I used to have a key. I just don't have enough patience to use it. The door opens and I see a dishevelled Carter standing before me with a bewildered expression on his face. I move a few steps closer and meet my lips with his dry ones. I wrap my arms around his neck, and hold him closer to me. My tongue laces his passionately, his hands still trying to figure out what to do. I finally break away, gasping for air. I lay my head down on his shoulder, and his hands pull me closer to him. This was rigged. I don't care anymore.
Review Responses
tars- It gets better... At least in my opinon.
smilez4eva- lol yeah everything seems so rushed lately, I have been a bit busier, which I am kind of liking, it doesn't give me as much time to post chapters, but I don't know I'm having fun lol.
ER-Carby-Luva- Dana good. Dana very good actually.You like her after what she said to Abby right? lol Carter's jsut being stupid, adn dickhead does suit him sometimes lol
Carby04- Thank you very much lol, you should review more often lol, we love reviews. Reviews are fun. But thanks for reviewing at all :)... Carter does smarten up a bit though.
shygirly- Thanks, we try to get new chapters up everyday, although lately I've been a bit laxed with the whole deal. I hope you liked this chapter, it was the real icing on the cake lol.
march- lol very sorry about that, busy weekend lol... sorta....
trish- lol yeah, crazily long lol. Hopefully daily updates and if I get people pestering me it will definitely be daily updates lol. If you tell me to update (email or review) I will definitely do it lol.
Preview
"MOMMY!" Their voices shriek, cutting through the air. And for once, I don't wince, cringe, or wish that they wouldn't call her that. Its true. She is their mother. I can't do anything to change that... Madison hasn't taken to calling her mom quite as much as Seb, but she still sees her in that light.
I take the lamp off my side table and wrap it bubble wrap and place it into the box I have marked fragile about a million times. I hate moving things, because something always breaks. It has to. The movers always have to break something, some form of a twisted tradition. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. This is insane. I'm insane. So I'm going away to be with my crazy family. Now it makes sense. It all works out. I close the box and secure it with tape. It's 7:58 in the morning and I'm packing my boxes. I'm not leaving for another 2 months, but someone's already interested in my condo, and I need to get rid of it before someone decides that they don't want it. I'm staying at Susan's. She has an extra bedroom, and since she's slowly working less and less, and more immobile, it would work well for both of us. I don't' know how Chuck feels about it, but I could careless.
I push the box towards the door, the movers are coming eventually to take this stuff and ship it to Minnesota. My mother bought a house, and well she has more room than she knows what to do with. And I don't mind living with my mom. She's been on her meds recently, so maybe it will be okay. If worse comes to worst, I can find a residency in China. Or Antarctica. Maybe even Alaska. Who knows where this is all leading. I take off my robe, my body almost instantly cooled. My tank top is soaked with sweat, the weather has been hell lately. It needs to rain, and its humid, but it won't. Chicago weather likes to torture me. I roll up the ends of my pyjama pants and turn them into versatile Capri's. I feel better. At least no one will see me walking around like this. I collapse against the sofa. I don't' even know if I'm working today. Probably tonight. The graveyard shift, my pride and joy lately. Its the only way I can avoid seeing Carter. Its way too complicated to even begin to think about. I push the pillow under my head and close my eyes, letting the air from the fan hit my body and cool it. The world is suddenly silent, except for a persistent tapping. That tapping is getting extremely annoying. I wonder what it is. I sit up on my elbows. Oh. It's my door. I stand up and throw my robe on, not bothering to tie it. Damn people, don't they know its like eight in the morning?
I trudge over to the door, the movers said around noon, not eight in the morning. I unlock my door and quickly open it. I wish I could quickly slam it. No such look. I open the door wider and let the Devil Incarnate into my apartment. I know her from what I've heard about her. I've seen her kiss my ex boyfriend. Whatever works to fuck Abby over, right? What does she want from me now? To tell Sebastian and Madison that I hate them, and I never want to see them again? Does she want to make me out to be the horrible bitch, and she the perfect angel? I don't think so. I walk back to my window, and open up another one that I seemed to see closed. I see her look around my apartment in the corner of her eye. What? Isn't the place good enough for you? I'm attempting to restrain myself. I pick up a pack of cigarettes from the table and my lighter comes out from my pocket. I light the tip and inhale, pulling the toxins and nicotine into my system. A bad habit for a horrible person. Big deal what she thinks. I walk over to the window and sit on the ledge. I'm not bitter at all.
"Abby."
I look at her and she has uncomfortable written across her face. I wish I knew what she wanted, it would make everything much, much easier for both of us. Did he send her here to check up on me or something? I watch her run her hand through her dark brown hair. She straightens her jacket and carelessly plays with her shoes on the carpet.
"I'm sorry for coming here, and so early. I'm catching a plane in a few minutes."
And I care because? I really don't. That plane of yours definitely is not coming fast enough in my book, sweetheart. I throw the butt of my cigarette out the window. I wonder if a falling cigarette butt thrown out of a fifth story window could kill someone? Its falling at 9.98 meters per second, and gaining velocity. But then again you would have to factor in wind resistance. See, I would rather see that plane of yours go down a couple hundred miles per hour into a nice concrete spot, gaining velocity as it falls. Always loved gravity. Never bothered me.
"I just wanted to tell you that nothing happened between me and John."I roll my eyes, wrapping my arms closer to my body. I look out the world beginning to move below me. I love my view. I'm going to miss it.
"Yes, and Carter used to kiss Frank the same way." I hear her expensive heels hit my wooden floor as she makes her way towards me. Why would he choose me over her? She's beautiful, rich, intelligent, powerful. I'm nothing and nobody. He'd be stupid if he chose me over her. Hell, I think I would choose her over myself. She leans against my now empty cabinet and looks at me.
"Nothing happened. He's angry and jealous. I'm engaged. He loves you, you're just too blind or stupid to see it." She turns around and starts heading towards my door. I watch her go. Something makes me want to follow her and drill her for details, and the other half wants me to stand here, right by the window, and watch her go, wishing her and Carter the best. Of course, neither is an option. She stops and comes back.
"I hate to admit it. Becca was one of my closest friends, but he... He loves you... More than I thought it was possible for him to love a person. You're destroying him... You don't see it because you choose not to. You're leaving him and his kids, who have grown attached to you. What kind of person are you? You're a mother deserting her children. Those are your children, I never heard Abby from them. I heard mom. Constantly, around the clock, driving John insane. "When is mom coming home?" or "Daddy, I want mommy." Its not fair to them. At least think of Seb and Maddie."
She turns back around and prances, slamming the door behind her. I slowly sit down on the floor, making my body cooperate with me. My children? Are they really my children? I never even thought of that. I thought of it as a phase, a type of momentary dependence. Not something that would have a profound effect on them. They've already lost one mother. Am I going to be the second? I'm not biologically theirs. They shouldn't.. I shouldn't... No. This isn't fair. Its not supposed to happen this way. Shit. I walk to my bedroom, sifting through the mess, pulling out a pair of jeans and a clean dark blue shirt. I quickly pull them on, and grab my purse. Why the hell am I doing this? Why am I going back? Am I being the weak one? Or the strong one? Is this the right thing to do? To me it is. I don't' give a damn what he says. I want to see Maddie and Sebastian. I want to see him. I race out the door.
My pace quickens as I get closer to the L. I quickly run through the platform. My feet tap impatiently against the wood. It's not like their going anywhere. Why am I running? I finally realized I'm missing something, and now I can't get there fast enough to start building it up again. The train finally comes, and I get onto it. I don't bother to sit down. The ride is only a few minutes anyway. Those few minutes can't take longer to pass. Finally I see my stop coming up and when the doors open, I'm the first one out. I make my way quickly down the stairs and toward his street. I'm practically running, well not really. A slight jog, maybe. I finally see his house in the distance, and I quickly my pace even more. I straighten my messy hair and ring the doorbell. I used to have a key. I just don't have enough patience to use it. The door opens and I see a dishevelled Carter standing before me with a bewildered expression on his face. I move a few steps closer and meet my lips with his dry ones. I wrap my arms around his neck, and hold him closer to me. My tongue laces his passionately, his hands still trying to figure out what to do. I finally break away, gasping for air. I lay my head down on his shoulder, and his hands pull me closer to him. This was rigged. I don't care anymore.
Review Responses
tars- It gets better... At least in my opinon.
smilez4eva- lol yeah everything seems so rushed lately, I have been a bit busier, which I am kind of liking, it doesn't give me as much time to post chapters, but I don't know I'm having fun lol.
ER-Carby-Luva- Dana good. Dana very good actually.You like her after what she said to Abby right? lol Carter's jsut being stupid, adn dickhead does suit him sometimes lol
Carby04- Thank you very much lol, you should review more often lol, we love reviews. Reviews are fun. But thanks for reviewing at all :)... Carter does smarten up a bit though.
shygirly- Thanks, we try to get new chapters up everyday, although lately I've been a bit laxed with the whole deal. I hope you liked this chapter, it was the real icing on the cake lol.
march- lol very sorry about that, busy weekend lol... sorta....
trish- lol yeah, crazily long lol. Hopefully daily updates and if I get people pestering me it will definitely be daily updates lol. If you tell me to update (email or review) I will definitely do it lol.
Preview
"MOMMY!" Their voices shriek, cutting through the air. And for once, I don't wince, cringe, or wish that they wouldn't call her that. Its true. She is their mother. I can't do anything to change that... Madison hasn't taken to calling her mom quite as much as Seb, but she still sees her in that light.