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A/N: lotrmatrixstarwarsfan: Yep, I'm a fellow GEP student. I'm from the white blackhole of Nanyang. You? Thank you muchly for the review. Anyway, on to the notes: I'm excessively bored, and my sense of humour is too. Anyhow, some clearing up: This is one quarter Movie-Verse, three quarters Book-Verse and very AUish. Bah.
*
Inez tottered out of Moria, stunned and dazed. Gandalf was dead, gone, kapish. Her favourite character had been done in by a not-very-furry ball of flame. The reality of the situation was hard to accept, but it was true. The maia was gone. He'll be back, Inez thought mournfully to herself, but he'll be back too late. The company was at a loss, loitering about without knowing what to do. Aragorn sighed grimly, pulling Frodo up, but the hobbit just crumpled bonelessly down again when the Ranger let go. Sam was beating his head with the flat of his frying pan repeatedly.
'We cannot linger. We must go to Lothlorien.'
The group, now one member short, began the trek to Laurelindorenan. Legolas was already trilling something about "fair Nimrodel", and Ren was beginning to wonder if she should push him into the said river when they reached it to spare the company the practically intolerable screeching.
*
Glorfindel sniggered to himself as he ducked behind a tree. Haldir o Lorien was about, the elda could feel it. Erestor and Galdor shared looks with him, and the three split off in different directions. Ren had no time to find out where they had gone, for Gimli was boasting about how he had the most acute senses of them all. Seconds later, she could hear arrows being drawn back, and Haldir, Marchwarden of Lothlorien stepped arrogantly into view. Sara cursed. The blond archer smirked in a most infuriating manner, looking condesendingly at the Company.
'The dwarf breathes so loud we could have- arggh!'
Haldir had the shock of his life as the flat of Glorfindel's blade tapped his shoulder lightly, and the elda had to duck to avoid behind beheaded by the shocked Marchwarden when Haldir spun around, sword drawn. Rumil and Orophin similarly were disarmed by Erestor and Galdor, who had slipped quietly past the stunned guards. Glorfindel grinned at Haldir.
'Haldir o Lorien. Mae govannen.'
Haldir's face fell. His fun had been spoilt by a balrog-slayer. These elda were really no good to work with. Galadriel turned green every few days, blaming it on static electricity, and Glorfindel went about humiliating guards at the wrong moments. Haldir frowned. They were all ecentric, those Eldar.
'Glorfindel.'
With a wave of his hand, Haldir commanded his guard to put down their weapons, and Ren finally breathed freely as the arrow was removed from the vicinity of her neck. Yvonne had already gone cross eyed from staring at the shaft that was pointed between her eyes for too long. Haldir shook his head about, clearing his muddled thoughts, then said,
'Come. I will lead you to the Lady of the Wood.'
Ren gulped as she allowed herself to be led off. Mind reading daughters of Finarfin were definitely not fun.
*
'Book-Verse! Why on Earth do we have to follow the Book now of all times?!'
Ren swore for the umpteenth time as they approached the banks of the Silverlode. Haldir had tied the rope across the banks and was proceeding to show off his rope walking skills by jumping up and sprinting across, then running back again. Legolas sighed appreciatively, eyeing Gimli with visible contempt.
'The elves in the company can walk this bridge, but what of the others?'
Haldir fixed another rope on at shoulder level and one more halfway down.
'They will cling to this.'
Shu Wen stared at Haldir as if he had gone mad, then stared at the three ropes which were going to be their way across the swift running river. Inez muttered under her breath.
'Shah! Fool elf.'
Glorfindel complacently walked across first, followed by Legolas, then Erestor and Galdor. Aragorn followed cautiously, making note not to look down. Boromir snaked across after him. Gimli grumbled as the rope sank slightly under his weight, but grudgingly pulled himself painstakingly across, his heavy books balancing precariously on the sturdy but narrow length of rope. Ren muttered unsavoury things about wood elves as she lugged her way over, nearly toppling as Sara tried to shake the line. Sara had her own difficulties as Ren shook the line from the east bank. Glorfindel glared at her and she stopped, but was secretly happy, for Sara was stuck in the middle waiting for the rope to stop shaking. Somehow or another, they made their way across, and were now on the way up to the Land of the Thousand Stairs, as Diana had aptly named it.
*
'Twenty five thousand, nine hundred and fifty nine, twenty five thousand, nine hundred and sixty...'
Silei was bored, counting the steps as she climbed up the seemingly never ending path to the talan. Erestor shook his head, counting in elvish. Ren just sullenly numbered the steps mentally. Sara went around pulling hair and generally annoying people, while Gimli nearly broke each stair as he pounded up. Finally, at "twenty six thousand, four hundred and eighty two", the company reached the Royal Talan. Ren sighed in relief, but the relief was short lived as they came to Galadriel. She wished she had taken the shortcut to Valinor with Manwe, Varda and Earendil, but it was far too late. Celeborn, all silverish and most mysterious, spoke.
'Nineteen there were that set out from Rivendell, but only eighteen now remain. Where is Gandalf the Grey, for I much desire to speak with him.'
Galadriel went all spooky and farsighted.
'He has fallen into shadow.'
Glorfindel spoke his own.
'It was a balrog of Morgoth. He copied my example.'
Galadriel shot him a quelling look, but Glorfindel, having faced Mandos, valar and other atrocities, did not flinch away from the gaze. Galadriel tossed a lock of hair haughtily over a shoulder, miffed at being unable to intimidate a follow elda into quavering submission. Erestor wisely tried to keep his mind blank. Ren, knowing how useless it would be to try and think of "nothing", kept repeating a mental mantra of "Elves are good, elves are great" in her mind to throw Galadriel off. The fiery elf needed not know about what she knew, and Ren decided that she needed not be squashed under the anger of Galadriel like a fly under Aule's hammer. Gimli was busy gaping at the shiny hair, which reminded Diana scarily of Feanor. Celeborn harrumphed loudly to catch everyone's attention, then turned to glare the Stare of Doom at Haldir.
'Why did no news come to me beforehand?'
The silver haired elf lord was obviously jealous of his wife, her Ring and that dratted mirror of hers.
Legolas smoothly interjected.
'We spoke of nothing to Haldir.'
Galadriel smiled a smirk of complacency while Celeborn sulked. Solemnly, she intoned.
'The Quest stands upon the edge of a knife,'
Ren and gang were silently mouthing along with her,
'Stray but a little, and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet there is hope, while company remains true.'
Glorfindel looked ruefully at Ren, decidedly thinking that if he were on the Quest and Ren had to come along, they would all surely die. The smirk on Galadriel's face grew larger as she monitored everyone with her christmas tree lighted eyes.
'Do not let yourselves be troubled: Tonight, you shall sleep in peace.'
Celeborn, ever eager for his share of the limelight, followed up.
'Go now, for you are worn with toil and much sorrow. Now rest awhile within our city.'
Galadriel stepped subtly on Celeborn's foot, causing him to shut up. Flashing a brilliant but fake smile, she said,
'Those on the Quest may leave. Glorfindel, tell your company to stay.'
Galadriel looked slightly too happy at having some people to torture. Ren wanted to scream as the Fellowship shuffled off the talan, leaving the remaining ten members of the Silmarilli Fellowship stranded on Galadriel's battle ground. Haldir tried to edge off, but one glance from Galadriel stilled his movements.
'Haldir!', the noldo said in a fake tone, 'I have a matter of utmost importance that involves you.'
'Me, my lady?'
'Yes, you. Now get over here.'
*
Two Hours Later
*
'So, in summary, I wish you all the best of luck, and accept Haldir as our envoy to aid you in this arduous task.'
Galadriel beamed, satisfied that she had been able to deliver a long and emotional speech. Glorfindel's eyes were unfocussed in what looked like Elven sleep while still standing, evidence of his experience at evading guard duty, while Erestor's head was resting on a branch, soft snores coming out of his mouth. Galdor was sprawled on the talan floor, curled up in a foetal position with Inez and Shu Wen using him as a back support while they, too, slumbered. Ren was swaying on her feet, trying to stop herself from falling asleep, while Sara yawned for the three thousandth time that minute. Silei was absently twirling an arrow that Diana had snitched out of Haldir's quiver between her fingers while Diana had fallen victim to sleep, half draped over a branch. Yvonne was busy playing with Haldir's hair as he slept. Celeborn was sleeping in his chair. Galadriel, however, was oblivious.
'Well, that will be all for this short session.'
Everyone seemed to snap awake at those words. Erestor came up with the excuse that they were weary and wanted to rest, and Haldir was all too quick to volunteer himself to lead the group to their respective telain. Within seconds, the Royal Talan was evacuated, and the crickets could clearly be hear chirping in the background. Seconds later, there was a yelp as Celeborn got the end of Galadriel's temper.
*
Ren groggily got up to the sound of Glorfindel's voice trying to get her to wake up. The hour was a most ungodly one, being neither morning nor night, and the blackness only enhanced Lothlorien's ethereal glow. The human did not feel like moving at that point in time, and was determined to stay abed for at least two hours yet. Groaning, she shifted away from the elf, who was crouched down next to her. There was what looked like fear in his eyes, but Ren owed that optical illusion to her barely awake state of mind.
'Whassat? I'm sleepy. Goway.'
The elf poked her in the side in an effort to get her to wake up properly, obviously as determined to get her up as she was determined to stay asleep. Ren just rolled over onto her side. Glorfindel tugged at her braid insistently. Ren finally sat up, exasperated to the extreme and glaring at the elda.
'This had better be a matter of imminent emergency, Glor, or I can assure you that you will be in extreme pain for the next century or so.'
Glorfindel looked impassively at her for a moment, then dragged her away from the talan and down the rope ladder wordlessly. Ren fumbled her way down somehow, still half asleep. Glorfindel took a look left, then right, then ducked behind the tree, disguising his voice, mixing English with Sindarin and befuddling Ren. The human wondered why the usually self-assured elda was acting so jumpy.
'Sirithbrethil, le mellyn have done something very, very disturbing. I fear for our lives.' [Sindarin: Your friends]
'What now? Surely it cannot be that serious.'
'Hain nestegi some form of bubble water into Galadriel's mirror.' [Sindarin: They put]
There was a pause.
'Glor...?'
'Yes?'
'I have a question.'
'What?'
'Can we run?'
*
Sara and Yvonne were doing some fairly unmentionable things to the Mirror. Sara was pounding and grinding flaked soap into a mushy substance, which she then diluted with water and stirred to make a veritable soapy liquid, which she poured into the Mirror. Yvonne was tying her portable electronic hand-held fan to the side of the Mirror, the plastic blade of the fan dipping halfway into the water. The fan was the kind where the blades were made out of a fairly sturdy plastic, which was attached to a rounded head which was then attached to the main, small rectangular body of the fan which encased the motor. When Sara poured the last of the liquid in, Yvonne gleefully switched the battery powered fan on. The effect was disastrous and instantaneous. The fan churned the water most effectively, and within seconds water was flying everywhere and a build up of foam and bubbles had appeared. Shaking hands, the two crept off into the night. A minute passed, and the foam started to overflow...
*
Ren cursed under her breath as she and Glorfindel snuck down to the glade where Galadriel kept her mirror, watching in horror as the whirr of an electronic motor gurgled and spat water about. Bubbles were everywhere, and foam had all but flooded the entire glade. Glorfindel stopped short when he saw the sight. Ren's face went pale.
'We are all going to die.'
The place was in an absolute mess. Glorfindel had no choice but to pull Ren down into the glade with him in an effort to start recovery works. The elda swiped foam off his hair, looking around to make sure no one was about.
'We have to clean this mess up before Artanis finds out.'
Then, just as Ren placed a hand on the fan to turn it off, Galadriel entered the glade.