Hullo! Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up, but I was
kinda grounded from the computer T_T. Oh, well, I am back! Now that I'm
back, I guess I'd better write chapter 18, and not bore you with a long
author's note...Oh, and I'm going to write a disclaimer for fun.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this fanfic.
And, that (I mean it this time) is going to count for the WHOLE story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 18 Gandalf the Gay ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Great Fairy: So uh, are you guys ready to go?
Ruto: I am!
Mido: Me too, I guess...
Rauru: Yeah.
Link: Sure.
Me: So, I guess we all are ready.
Great Fairy: Ok, and if I feel that you need some more people to help you, then I'll send them.
Link: Why couldn't you have sent us?
Me: Because that wasn't part of my plot yet, duh!
Pippin: So uh, how are you going to warp us there? I mean, you got us here by some how having us go unconscious, and then waking up here.
Great Fairy: Well, once all of you fall asleep, I'll warp you there.
Merry (whispers to Pippin): I'm not sure if I want to sleep in the same room as her.
Pippin: Yeah, I agree.
*16 hours later, when they're all asleep*
The Great Fairy warps them to Middle Earth.
*8 hours later, once they all wake up*
Pippin: Well, we're here!
Merry: Yeah, but the only problem I have is, that we're in the Shire, why didn't she just warp us to Mt. Doom?
Great Fairy pops up.
Great Fairy: Because, I can't just warp you to Mt. Doom. I don't have enough magic.
Merry: Well, we're here now, use some magic to warp us there. You know, because we're already here, and you should have enough magic to warp us here to My. Doom.
Great Fairy: I'm sorry it doesn't work like that. Great Fairies have a certain amount of magic when they born, and once they use it, it's gone.
Merry: So how did you warp here?
Great Fairy: Well, Great Fairies can warp anywhere they want with a very small use of magic.
Merry: So, then you can warp to Mt. Doom and destroy the ring!
Great Fairy: No, because even though it doesn't take much magic to warp ourselves around, it still uses some. And I only have enough magic to warp myself back. So, bye!
And with that, she disappeared. Then they all turned to me, who was playing OoT.
Link (all of a sudden): Ow! That hurts! Ow!
All: O.o
Laura: What's wrong, Link?
Link: Ow! I ow! don't know! Ow!
Laura runs over to me, and sees me playing OoT and I'm making Link run into lava.
Laura: Amanda!
Me: What?
Laura: You're killing Link!
Me: How would you know!
Laura: Look at the hearts right above Link's head!
All of a sudden, 2 rows of hearts appears above Link, and the hearts keep disappearing.
Laura: Stop!
Me: Ummmm, I can explain.
Laura: Then start!
Me: Well, uh, this is part of the game.
Laura: Ok! ^-^
Link: You Ow! don't possibly Ow! believe Ow! that? Do you? Ow!
Laura: Well, yeah! I mean, she has played and beaten the game about 578019609175897190256091650981650916256019348750 89127547316509175098713095615614569173849578346571670 60916516587436578350175186573465871605910983479847576 17856109561093561736571856017650781567801365736573651 07659817498637560915978134981635613089745 times!
Me: Yeah, it's true.
Link: Well, that's not Ow! how you Ow! beat Ow! the game! Ow!
Me: How would you know?
Link: Well, I don't. Ow! But, I mean, Ow! really, why would I Ow! have to keep Ow! running into lava Ow! to beat the Ow! game? Ow!
Me: Well, uh, you have to run in lava, uh, to find the Fire Medallion.
Link: Ow! But, Ow! I thought that Ow! someone would Ow! give it to me! Ow!
Laura: Don't argue with her! She knows what she's doing! I mean, like I said, she has beaten the game 578019609175897190256091650981650916256019348750 89127547316509175098713095615614569173849578346571670 60916516587436578350175186573465871605910983479847576 17856109561093561736571856017650781567801365736573651 07659817498637560915978134981635613089745 times!
Link: Fine! Ow! But Ow! Is it really Ow! a good Ow! time to be Ow! playing that? Ow! I mean Ow! shouldn't we be Ow! Trying Ow! to destroy the Ow! Ring?
Me: Fine!
I shut the game off.
Link: Whew! I thought I was going to die!
Laura: Well, you almost did! You had one fourth of a heart left when she shut the game off! And anyway, if you did, I'm sure she would have brought you back to life with her computer. Right Amanda?
Me: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, heh...he...he...
Laura: Amanda!
Me: I mean, yeah! Of course I would have brought him back to life! Heh...he...he...
*meanwhile*
Gollum: I am Sam!
4 Hobbits: No, he is.
Gollum: Sam I am!
4 Hobbits: No, he is.
Gollum: Would you like green fish and jam?
4 Hobbits: Uhhhhhh, no.
Gollum: Would you eat them over here? Would you eat them over there?
4 Hobbits: We would not eat them over here. We would not eat them over there. We would not eat them anywhere! We do not like green fish and jam. We do not like them uh, Sam I am.
Gollum: Would you eat them by that door? Would you eat them in Mordor? Would you eat them over here? Would you eat them over there?
4 Hobbits: We would not eat them by that door. We would not eat them in Mordor. We would not eat them over here. We would not eat them over there. We would not eat them anywhere! We do not like green fish and jam. We do not like them Sam I am!
Gollum: Would you eat them with a Nazgul? Would you eat them with a seagull? (it kinda rhymes) Would you eat them by that door? Would you eat them in Mordor? Would you eat them over here? Would you eat them over there?
4 Hobbits: We would not eat them with a Nazgul. We would not eat them with a seagull. We would not eat them by that door. We would not eat them in Mordor. We would not eat them over here. We would not eat them over there. We would not eat them anywhere! We do not like green fish and jam. We do not like them Sam I am!
Gollum: Would you eat them with a fork? Would you eat them with an Orc? Would you eat them with a Nazgul? Would you eat them with a seagull? Would you eat them by that door? Would you eat them in Mordor? Would you eat them over here? Would you eat them over there?
4 Hobbits: We would not eat them with a fork. We would not eat them with an Orc. We would not eat them with a Nazgul. We would not eat them with a seagull. We would not eat them by that door. We would not eat them in Mordor. We would not eat them over here. We would not eat them over there. We would not eat them anywhere! We do not like green fish and jam. We do not like them Sam I am!
Gollum: Would you eat them with a moron? Would you eat them Sauron? Would you eat them with a fork? Would you eat them with an Orc? Would you eat them with a Nazgul? Would you eat them with a seagull? Would you eat them by that door? Would you eat them in Mordor? Would you eat them over here? Would you eat them over there?
4 Hobbits: We would not eat them with a moron. We would not eat them with Sauron. We would not eat them with a fork. We would not eat them with an Orc. We would not eat them with a Nazgul. We would not eat them with a seagull. We would not eat them by that door. We would not eat them in Mordor. We would not eat them over here. We would not eat them over there. We would not eat them anywhere! We do not like green fish and jam. We do not like them Sam I am!
Gollum: Would you eat them if they were blue? Would you eat them if they were new? Would you eat them with a moron? Would you eat them Sauron? Would you eat them with a fork? Would you eat them with an Orc? Would you eat them with a Nazgul? Would you eat them with a seagull? Would you eat them by that door? Would you eat them in Mordor? Would you eat them over here? Would you eat them over there?
4 Hobbits: We would not eat them if they were blue. We would not eat them if they were new. We would not eat them with a moron. We would not eat them with Sauron. We would not eat them with a fork. We would not eat them with an Orc. We would not eat them with a Nazgul. We would not eat them with a seagull. We would not eat them by that door. We would not eat them in Mordor. We would not eat them over here. We would not eat them over there. We would not eat them anywhere! We do not like green fish and jam. We do not like them Sam I am!
Gollum: Would you eat them...
Gollum was cut-off by me.
Me: Gollum, I'd say it is pretty apparent that they're not going to eat them.
Gollum: Oh, well...more for me! ^-^
Me: Uhhhhhh, you go ahead and eat all you want.
Nathan: I'll eat some green fish and jam!
Gollum: Ok! ^-^
Legolas: Triowyn, I have something to ask you.
Triowyn: What is it?
Legolas: Will, you marry me?
Triowyn: Yes! ^-^
Legolas: Where do you want to get married?
Triowyn: Lothlorien!
Legolas: Ok! ^-^
*meanwhile*
Charlotte: Wow. It must be wonderful, for your brother to be Legolas. My brother is just Chinese.
legolasette: Yeah, it's pretty cool.
Charlotte: Did you notice, that my husband looks just like him?
legolasette: Yeah, and my old boy friend looked like him too.
Charlotte: Weird.
Gandalf walked over.
Gandalf: Charlotte! Why, I didn't recognize you!
legolasette: Who's that?
Charlotte: That's my Grandpa!
legolasette: You mean, Gandalf is your grandpa?
Charlotte: Yup! ^-^
legolasette: Cool!
Gandalf: Hey Aragorn! Come over here! I want you to meet my grand daughter! Gimli, you come too!
Aragorn & Gimli: You have grandchildren?
Gandalf: Yup! ^-^
Gimli: So, she's a wizard too?
Gandalf: Well, she's one-half elf, one-half hobbit, and one-half wizard.
Charlotte: Grandpa, you might want to check your math. There aren't three halves...
Gandalf: Now listen here, young lady! I'm older than you, and I know more things, and there are three halves in a whole!
Charlotte: Whatever you say, grandpa.
Aragorn: Wait! How is she Hobbit, and Elf, and Wizard?
Gandalf: Well, I had three sons, who was one-half Hobbit, and one-half Wizard. And he married an Elf, and then, they had Charlotte.
Gimli: Hold on a minute! So you married a Hobbit, and then had a son?
Gandalf: Uhhhhhh, yeah.
Aragorn: Who was she?
Gandalf: It wasn't a she.
Gimli: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WASN'T A SHE?
Gandalf: Well, uh, (Gandalf suddenly gets a lisp, and he talks all girly) I'm gay.
Aragorn: I hope you mean the happy gay.
Gandalf: Uhhhh, no. But I thought you guyth (supposed to be a lisp) knew that?
Gimli: How did you expect us to know that?
Gandalf: Well, it ITH in my name.
Aragorn: What do you, mean?
Gandalf: You know! People call me Gandalf the Gay!
Gimli: They call you Gandalf the Gay? I thought it was Gandalf the GREY.
Gandalf: No! I'm Gandalf they Gay! I altho wear drethes, I thought that wath a dead give away!
Aragorn: Those are dresses?!?!?!?!? I thought they were sorcerer out fits or something! But not dresses!
Gandalf: No, thilly goothe!
Gimli: YOU REALLY ARE GAY!
Gandalf: You got that right!
Aragorn & Gimli back away slowly.
Gimli: Wait one minute! The how did you have children?
Gandalf: Well, I AM a wizard, you know. Tho all I had to do wath take a piethe of both our hairs, and like, mix them together with thome potion. And...prethto! We got triplet cuuuuuuuuute little baby boyth! One who wath Charlotte'th dad, one wath Merry'th dad, and the latht wath Pippin'th dad!
Aragorn: So, uh, who did you marry?
Gandalf: Merry and Pippin's grandpa!
Merry and Pippin walk up.
Gimli: Hey Merry! Hey Pippin! You're grandpa was gay!
Merry and Pippin: No he's not!
Aragorn: Yeah he is!
Gimli: And that would make Gandalf your great-uncle! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Merry and Pippin: That...that...that's not true! Tell them Gandalf! It's not true!
Gandalf: I'm thorry thilly buns! But it'th true!
Merry and Pippin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I walk up.
Me: Come on you guys! Were going to stop by the Green Dragon!
4 Hobbits: YAY!!!!!!! ^-^
Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this fanfic.
And, that (I mean it this time) is going to count for the WHOLE story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 18 Gandalf the Gay ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Great Fairy: So uh, are you guys ready to go?
Ruto: I am!
Mido: Me too, I guess...
Rauru: Yeah.
Link: Sure.
Me: So, I guess we all are ready.
Great Fairy: Ok, and if I feel that you need some more people to help you, then I'll send them.
Link: Why couldn't you have sent us?
Me: Because that wasn't part of my plot yet, duh!
Pippin: So uh, how are you going to warp us there? I mean, you got us here by some how having us go unconscious, and then waking up here.
Great Fairy: Well, once all of you fall asleep, I'll warp you there.
Merry (whispers to Pippin): I'm not sure if I want to sleep in the same room as her.
Pippin: Yeah, I agree.
*16 hours later, when they're all asleep*
The Great Fairy warps them to Middle Earth.
*8 hours later, once they all wake up*
Pippin: Well, we're here!
Merry: Yeah, but the only problem I have is, that we're in the Shire, why didn't she just warp us to Mt. Doom?
Great Fairy pops up.
Great Fairy: Because, I can't just warp you to Mt. Doom. I don't have enough magic.
Merry: Well, we're here now, use some magic to warp us there. You know, because we're already here, and you should have enough magic to warp us here to My. Doom.
Great Fairy: I'm sorry it doesn't work like that. Great Fairies have a certain amount of magic when they born, and once they use it, it's gone.
Merry: So how did you warp here?
Great Fairy: Well, Great Fairies can warp anywhere they want with a very small use of magic.
Merry: So, then you can warp to Mt. Doom and destroy the ring!
Great Fairy: No, because even though it doesn't take much magic to warp ourselves around, it still uses some. And I only have enough magic to warp myself back. So, bye!
And with that, she disappeared. Then they all turned to me, who was playing OoT.
Link (all of a sudden): Ow! That hurts! Ow!
All: O.o
Laura: What's wrong, Link?
Link: Ow! I ow! don't know! Ow!
Laura runs over to me, and sees me playing OoT and I'm making Link run into lava.
Laura: Amanda!
Me: What?
Laura: You're killing Link!
Me: How would you know!
Laura: Look at the hearts right above Link's head!
All of a sudden, 2 rows of hearts appears above Link, and the hearts keep disappearing.
Laura: Stop!
Me: Ummmm, I can explain.
Laura: Then start!
Me: Well, uh, this is part of the game.
Laura: Ok! ^-^
Link: You Ow! don't possibly Ow! believe Ow! that? Do you? Ow!
Laura: Well, yeah! I mean, she has played and beaten the game about 578019609175897190256091650981650916256019348750 89127547316509175098713095615614569173849578346571670 60916516587436578350175186573465871605910983479847576 17856109561093561736571856017650781567801365736573651 07659817498637560915978134981635613089745 times!
Me: Yeah, it's true.
Link: Well, that's not Ow! how you Ow! beat Ow! the game! Ow!
Me: How would you know?
Link: Well, I don't. Ow! But, I mean, Ow! really, why would I Ow! have to keep Ow! running into lava Ow! to beat the Ow! game? Ow!
Me: Well, uh, you have to run in lava, uh, to find the Fire Medallion.
Link: Ow! But, Ow! I thought that Ow! someone would Ow! give it to me! Ow!
Laura: Don't argue with her! She knows what she's doing! I mean, like I said, she has beaten the game 578019609175897190256091650981650916256019348750 89127547316509175098713095615614569173849578346571670 60916516587436578350175186573465871605910983479847576 17856109561093561736571856017650781567801365736573651 07659817498637560915978134981635613089745 times!
Link: Fine! Ow! But Ow! Is it really Ow! a good Ow! time to be Ow! playing that? Ow! I mean Ow! shouldn't we be Ow! Trying Ow! to destroy the Ow! Ring?
Me: Fine!
I shut the game off.
Link: Whew! I thought I was going to die!
Laura: Well, you almost did! You had one fourth of a heart left when she shut the game off! And anyway, if you did, I'm sure she would have brought you back to life with her computer. Right Amanda?
Me: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, heh...he...he...
Laura: Amanda!
Me: I mean, yeah! Of course I would have brought him back to life! Heh...he...he...
*meanwhile*
Gollum: I am Sam!
4 Hobbits: No, he is.
Gollum: Sam I am!
4 Hobbits: No, he is.
Gollum: Would you like green fish and jam?
4 Hobbits: Uhhhhhh, no.
Gollum: Would you eat them over here? Would you eat them over there?
4 Hobbits: We would not eat them over here. We would not eat them over there. We would not eat them anywhere! We do not like green fish and jam. We do not like them uh, Sam I am.
Gollum: Would you eat them by that door? Would you eat them in Mordor? Would you eat them over here? Would you eat them over there?
4 Hobbits: We would not eat them by that door. We would not eat them in Mordor. We would not eat them over here. We would not eat them over there. We would not eat them anywhere! We do not like green fish and jam. We do not like them Sam I am!
Gollum: Would you eat them with a Nazgul? Would you eat them with a seagull? (it kinda rhymes) Would you eat them by that door? Would you eat them in Mordor? Would you eat them over here? Would you eat them over there?
4 Hobbits: We would not eat them with a Nazgul. We would not eat them with a seagull. We would not eat them by that door. We would not eat them in Mordor. We would not eat them over here. We would not eat them over there. We would not eat them anywhere! We do not like green fish and jam. We do not like them Sam I am!
Gollum: Would you eat them with a fork? Would you eat them with an Orc? Would you eat them with a Nazgul? Would you eat them with a seagull? Would you eat them by that door? Would you eat them in Mordor? Would you eat them over here? Would you eat them over there?
4 Hobbits: We would not eat them with a fork. We would not eat them with an Orc. We would not eat them with a Nazgul. We would not eat them with a seagull. We would not eat them by that door. We would not eat them in Mordor. We would not eat them over here. We would not eat them over there. We would not eat them anywhere! We do not like green fish and jam. We do not like them Sam I am!
Gollum: Would you eat them with a moron? Would you eat them Sauron? Would you eat them with a fork? Would you eat them with an Orc? Would you eat them with a Nazgul? Would you eat them with a seagull? Would you eat them by that door? Would you eat them in Mordor? Would you eat them over here? Would you eat them over there?
4 Hobbits: We would not eat them with a moron. We would not eat them with Sauron. We would not eat them with a fork. We would not eat them with an Orc. We would not eat them with a Nazgul. We would not eat them with a seagull. We would not eat them by that door. We would not eat them in Mordor. We would not eat them over here. We would not eat them over there. We would not eat them anywhere! We do not like green fish and jam. We do not like them Sam I am!
Gollum: Would you eat them if they were blue? Would you eat them if they were new? Would you eat them with a moron? Would you eat them Sauron? Would you eat them with a fork? Would you eat them with an Orc? Would you eat them with a Nazgul? Would you eat them with a seagull? Would you eat them by that door? Would you eat them in Mordor? Would you eat them over here? Would you eat them over there?
4 Hobbits: We would not eat them if they were blue. We would not eat them if they were new. We would not eat them with a moron. We would not eat them with Sauron. We would not eat them with a fork. We would not eat them with an Orc. We would not eat them with a Nazgul. We would not eat them with a seagull. We would not eat them by that door. We would not eat them in Mordor. We would not eat them over here. We would not eat them over there. We would not eat them anywhere! We do not like green fish and jam. We do not like them Sam I am!
Gollum: Would you eat them...
Gollum was cut-off by me.
Me: Gollum, I'd say it is pretty apparent that they're not going to eat them.
Gollum: Oh, well...more for me! ^-^
Me: Uhhhhhh, you go ahead and eat all you want.
Nathan: I'll eat some green fish and jam!
Gollum: Ok! ^-^
Legolas: Triowyn, I have something to ask you.
Triowyn: What is it?
Legolas: Will, you marry me?
Triowyn: Yes! ^-^
Legolas: Where do you want to get married?
Triowyn: Lothlorien!
Legolas: Ok! ^-^
*meanwhile*
Charlotte: Wow. It must be wonderful, for your brother to be Legolas. My brother is just Chinese.
legolasette: Yeah, it's pretty cool.
Charlotte: Did you notice, that my husband looks just like him?
legolasette: Yeah, and my old boy friend looked like him too.
Charlotte: Weird.
Gandalf walked over.
Gandalf: Charlotte! Why, I didn't recognize you!
legolasette: Who's that?
Charlotte: That's my Grandpa!
legolasette: You mean, Gandalf is your grandpa?
Charlotte: Yup! ^-^
legolasette: Cool!
Gandalf: Hey Aragorn! Come over here! I want you to meet my grand daughter! Gimli, you come too!
Aragorn & Gimli: You have grandchildren?
Gandalf: Yup! ^-^
Gimli: So, she's a wizard too?
Gandalf: Well, she's one-half elf, one-half hobbit, and one-half wizard.
Charlotte: Grandpa, you might want to check your math. There aren't three halves...
Gandalf: Now listen here, young lady! I'm older than you, and I know more things, and there are three halves in a whole!
Charlotte: Whatever you say, grandpa.
Aragorn: Wait! How is she Hobbit, and Elf, and Wizard?
Gandalf: Well, I had three sons, who was one-half Hobbit, and one-half Wizard. And he married an Elf, and then, they had Charlotte.
Gimli: Hold on a minute! So you married a Hobbit, and then had a son?
Gandalf: Uhhhhhh, yeah.
Aragorn: Who was she?
Gandalf: It wasn't a she.
Gimli: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WASN'T A SHE?
Gandalf: Well, uh, (Gandalf suddenly gets a lisp, and he talks all girly) I'm gay.
Aragorn: I hope you mean the happy gay.
Gandalf: Uhhhh, no. But I thought you guyth (supposed to be a lisp) knew that?
Gimli: How did you expect us to know that?
Gandalf: Well, it ITH in my name.
Aragorn: What do you, mean?
Gandalf: You know! People call me Gandalf the Gay!
Gimli: They call you Gandalf the Gay? I thought it was Gandalf the GREY.
Gandalf: No! I'm Gandalf they Gay! I altho wear drethes, I thought that wath a dead give away!
Aragorn: Those are dresses?!?!?!?!? I thought they were sorcerer out fits or something! But not dresses!
Gandalf: No, thilly goothe!
Gimli: YOU REALLY ARE GAY!
Gandalf: You got that right!
Aragorn & Gimli back away slowly.
Gimli: Wait one minute! The how did you have children?
Gandalf: Well, I AM a wizard, you know. Tho all I had to do wath take a piethe of both our hairs, and like, mix them together with thome potion. And...prethto! We got triplet cuuuuuuuuute little baby boyth! One who wath Charlotte'th dad, one wath Merry'th dad, and the latht wath Pippin'th dad!
Aragorn: So, uh, who did you marry?
Gandalf: Merry and Pippin's grandpa!
Merry and Pippin walk up.
Gimli: Hey Merry! Hey Pippin! You're grandpa was gay!
Merry and Pippin: No he's not!
Aragorn: Yeah he is!
Gimli: And that would make Gandalf your great-uncle! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Merry and Pippin: That...that...that's not true! Tell them Gandalf! It's not true!
Gandalf: I'm thorry thilly buns! But it'th true!
Merry and Pippin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I walk up.
Me: Come on you guys! Were going to stop by the Green Dragon!
4 Hobbits: YAY!!!!!!! ^-^