Chapter 2 - A Word to the Wise
Severus Snape, Fourth-Year, had been excused from vocal participation in classes.
Professor Flitwick, Charms Teacher, understood completely when Nurse Pomfrey explained it to him. He was concerned, but chuckled good-naturally to Sev, 'It would not be good for you to incant with a stutter, then find out you summoned the Blood-Drinking Agony Rabbit of Woovolonia.'
Professor McGonagall just assigned extra transfiguration homework to make up for his lack of vocal participation.
The Marauders were insaitably curious as to why Snivellus did not have to do incantations and all four regretted the fact they made a pact with him and Britomartis Vox not to do anything to them.
"But there's a loophole," Sirius Black stated after classes one afternoon as they relaxed by the lake under a tree.
"What sort?" Remus Lupin asked. He hated any type of 'loopholes' that Sirius could find. It usually meant somebody getting into trouble. He certainly hoped Miss Britomartis was not going to be tormented.
"There was nothing mentioned in the agreement about verbal sparring."
"Good call, Padfoot!" James Potter snickered. "We all know you're hopelessly in love with Vox the way you keep hanging on to her every word - "
Black casually headsmacked his best friend. Potter readjusted his glasses and shut up.
Peter Pettigrew was not as smart. "Oh, Gods, Sirius - are you seriously - "
"Shut up!" Black barked. "I don't have a thing for Snake-Bitch!"
Potter smirked, moreover to irritate Black. "I do."
'So do I," Lupin added in thought. 'But I'm not stupid enough to open my mouth about it.'
Pettigrew made gagging noises.
Black snorted in contempt. "Have you already forgotten Lovely Lily already, Prongs?"
"Oh, of course not," Potter replied. "But Vox is fun to throw stuff at."
"At least until you get a knee in the goolies," Lupin reminded them.
"Nothing's getting done," Black proclaimed as he looked around. "There they are - a few hundred yards that way."
The other three turned around to see Martis and Sev on another part of the shore of the lake, sitting closely together and talking quietly with books across their knees.
"So, what's the plan?" Potter asked.
"Get Snivelly to talk. Might need someone to distract Snake-Bitch. Moony, you don't mind talking with her."
"Count me out," Lupin protested. "I thought we agreed to leave them alone?"
"We're just going to find out why Greaseball doesn't have to talk in class is all. Maybe we'll find out that his dad ripped his vocal cords out."
Lupin rolled his eyes and followed the other three as they made their way down the shore toward the two Slytherins.
Martis looked up and noted the advancing Marauders. "Head's up, Snips. It's the Menagerie."
"L-L-Let's go," Sev said nervously as he moved to get up.
"No," she ordered, pulling him back down. "They aren't going to cow us for their amusement. Besides, if they get out of line, I'll tell them a thing or two."
"P-P-P-Please, Sp-Sp-Spirals!"
"Shh."
The Marauders approached, lining up.
"See, Snips?" Martis said conversationally. "We were discussing pack animal behavior and their need to make themselves look bigger when faced with more dangerous animals than themselves - "
"So you're admitting that you're animals, then?" Potter retorted automatically.
"Only in a spiritual sense - we don't need to show it in public."
"Only rut with each other in public?" Black responded.
Martis' face remained completely passive as Sev blushed up to his hairline. "Yes," she confirmed. "Might give some pointers to you bumbling virgins."
Lupin turned bright red and turned away, trying not to laugh out loud. He knew that zinger hit Black in the gut, much as their 'packleader' said otherwise. He also knew that Miss Britomartis putting them on the defensive threw them for a loop.
Black reached for the upperhand again. "Hey, Snape, we need some help with our Charms work. We're sure you would know how to - "
Martis placed her hand on Sev's chest, seemingly restraining him. "Snips shouldn't have to do your homework because you're too stupid to learn how to pronounce your own names."
"Stay out, Snake-Bitch," Black hissed. "You weren't being spoken to."
"As his main representative, it it my duty to answer for him at this time." She stood up, barely coming up to his shoulder, and adjusted her sunglasses. "So, why don't you four little boys run off and molest each other in the woods or something and allow us to do our work, eh?"
Potter pulled out his wand and Martis narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you completely incapable of going five minutes without grabbing your stick? And since you're one of the advocates of keeping this a truce - I suggest you put it back in your pants!"
Potter turned a brilliant shade of crimson. "I've been had - gentlemen, I'm leaving."
Black snarled, grabbing his friend's arm to keep him from leaving.
"Get going," Martis warned. "I'm at that time in which I will get very bitchy, and you won't like it when I'm really bitchy."
All four boys turned as white as sheets and quickly bowed out.
Sev looked at her in confusion. "Wh-Wh-What was th-th-that about?"
"Evidently, they all either have sisters or female relatives that have Moontimes and know what 'that time' and 'bitchy' means in the same breath." She made faces at their retreating figures.
"Wh-Wh-What does it m-m-mean?" he asked.
She explained in plain terms and some sketchings, making sure to remain clinical and not include commentary from her culture. She was still dealing with a fourteen-year-old boy, even though he was more objective than most when it came to anatomy.
Sev was both fascinated and repulsed. "And th-this is for - ?"
"Making babies," she answered simply.
He was silent. Overhearing his roommates gave him a basic education on that part of the process. As well as knowledge of his own conception. Then his eyes widened and he squeaked, "Shit!"
"Don't think about it, it'll make your head hurt," she told him. "Come on, I need to practice for Tryouts - you can throw stones at me."
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There was no way he could hide his stutter in Potions class anymore. Notes on application, theory, and classification were done the first week, and the second week began lab practice in pairs.
He was quickly claimed by Adonia Vox, one of Martis' sisters. His usual lab partner, Greta Bulstode, shot daggers at the Cretan blonde, who turned around and made a complex series of rude hand gestures that confused the Slytherin enough to not bother any more. Greta was not quite sure where the obscene gestures ended and where the gestures of a snake-worshipper spell began.
Sev internally sighed. Where he was considered the best student in the entire class, Adonia was the worst. She had a habit of mixing up her animal parts by claiming they all looked alike. She was the only student in the entire history of Hogwarts to somehow mix a glue potion into root beer. The time one of her own potions screamed at her to not add a certain vial was still talked about among magical study circles.
"Wh-wh-what are you d-d-doing?" he whispered.
"Helping you out, Snape," she answered quietly. "Baby sister asked me to. And considering the Droolrauders are in the class and curious about your voice, you need all the help you can get."
He surrendered. He knew Greta would point out his stutter to everyone with her tactless expressions of annoyance. He whispered directions to Adonia to measure out things, pointing to each vial and bottle to make sure she understood. Twice self-preservation forced him to slap her hand to keep her from turning a simple animal repellent into poison gas or skin-melter.
The Marauders kept their ears open, straining to listen. Adonia once turned around and waved her own snake (Dakini) around in Pettigrew's face to shut his giggling up.
But Adonia was still a Potions moron, and Sev was growing impatient with her apparent stupidity. He knew she was a warrior, but it was still not excuse! "H-h-h-hand me th-th-those l-l-lacew-w-lacewings, will you?" Sev finally blurted.
The class seemed unduly quiet for some reason.
It was followed by a giggle from Sirius Black. "Hey, Prongs, give me a lalalalalalacewhu-whu-wing, wuh-whu-won't you?"
Potter frowned. "Remember what happened the other day?"
Sirius stood up straight, making himself taller and more intimidating. "Yes, but Spitballs isn't here to protect her little defenseless Snots. What I just did was not a prank. Am I right?"
Potter sighed. He had bad memories of Professor Machiavelli's tutelage, but could not say Sirius Black was wrong. Even Moony conceded the legality of the loophole.
"Hey Snivelly," Black said, in a voice so quiet that Professor Sartoris could not overhear. "Can I borrow a lalalalalalacewhu-whu-wing?"
Adonia's face pinched into a rather frightening mask of quiet anger.
"G-g-go to h-h-hell, Black," Snape responded as quietly as he could, still going through the steps needed to make the day's potion. He could see, out the corner of his eye, Adonia fingering her wand inside her robe sleeve.
Black laughed, whipping around and slapping Pettigrew on the shoulder with glee.
"Huh-huh-huh-hell will fuh-fuh-fuh-freeze over buh-buh-before Snivelly stuh-stuh-stuh-stops being suh-suh-such a fuh-fuh-fuh-freaking guh-guh-greasy guh-guh-guh-git!"
Pettigrew and Black gave each other high-fives. Potter rolled his eyes, grinning slightly. Remus Lupin acted as if he had not heard a word, but praying that Adonia Vox would shut them up.
Sev had ducked his head, hair covering his face, ashamed of his lingering infirmity. He wanted to find a hole, crawl in it, then pull it in after him.
Sirius circumnavigated the lab tables, weaving his way toward Sev. He hummed a tune while doing so:
Who huh-huh-hid his duh-duh-duh-dad's wuh-wuh-wounds with a cape
But nuh-nuh-nuh-nobody cuh-cuh-cuh-cared
Ub-ub-ub-About how the Snuh-Snuh-Snuh-Snape fared,
And uh-uh-uh-applauded his Duh-Duh-Dad's aim and hate!"Adonia did not bother with her wand. She spun around, robes flying, and her hand cupped his chin, forcing him to look into her face.
"You have no truce with me, Sirius Black," she whispered in a low, sultry voice. "And I'm not as nice as my baby sister, so I would do more than drop a Cornish pixie down your trousers."
Black grasped for a superior position, smirking into the face that (frankly) scared him. "I know you want me."
Adonia smiled in a way that made his teenage blood cold. "Sorry, I'm a lesbian - and even if I was straight, I'd have better taste."
The class broke into giggles. Pettigrew got up. Potter and Lupin lowered their heads to not be noticed.
Sartoris spoke quite loudly, reminding the class that he was there. "Messrs. Black and Pettigrew, five points each for ungentlemanly behavior, another five points each for disrupting class, and an incomplete for today's lab work! Now get back to your dorm rooms and QUIT DISRUPTING MY CLASS!" He glared at Adonia. "And five points for your disruption, Miss Vox! NOW SIT DOWN!"
Adonia released Black's chin and bowed her head in apology to the Potions Master before she joined Sev at their lab table. Black muttered about the loss of twenty House points due to the 'class dyke' amd Adonia smiled sweetly at him, blowing him a kiss as he left.
Sev found himself wondering what it would have been like to have been born into the Vox family. He decided he did not want to know.
Dinner that night was not pleasant at the Gryffindor tables. Everyone now knew that Black and Pettigrew managed to kill twenty points so early in the year because they got caught harrassing Snape. The fact that Snape's friend's older sister (one of the Vox Twins, yet) had to put Black in his place did not sit with them, either.
But the Slytherin table was abuzz concerning the Quidditch Tryouts for the next day.
"I'm n-n-not trying out this year," Sev said.
"Why not?" Martis asked as she mashed up her roasted potatoes. "I thought we could tag-team against Black and his boyfriend Potter this year. Even things out, you know."
"My t-t-talent isn't really Quid-d-ditch. I'm better at ... potions." He smiled at her apologetically. "B-But I'll cheer you on."
She squeezed his hand, both smiling.
"Oh, look," Narcissa Black commented snidely as she sat down across from them. "The lovebirds. Stop leaving your droppings all over the place."
Sev blushed up to his hairline and Martis smirked. "So much against affection, Black? After seeing you and Lucy going into Knockturn Alley to buy lust candles - "
Narcissa's face turned white, showing off the blue veins in her face. "I have no idea what you mean."
"Red candles covered with cinnamon and honey, specially charmed to increase virility - "
Sev raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know that. No wonder they only sell them to wizards of legal age."
Narcissa flicked her blonde hair over her shoulder. "Oh, shut up. Are you still going to try out for the team?"
"Of course," Martis snapped. "I thought we established that our first night back."
"Just wondering." She cradled her chin in her hand, smiling sweetly. "I was figuring something, Britomartis. The Ladies of Slytherin need to show that we support our Quidditch team. It would be quite a coup for Penderdandis to put two graceful women on the team this year."
Martis narrowed her eyes behind her sunglasses. "Come out with it, what are you cooking up?"
"Me? Nothing. But suppose there should be a female Seeker on our team - someone smaller, faster, and more graceful - "
"Yeah," Martis agreed. "We could always ask Akiko Mori. She's the smallest girl in Slytherin."
"Shut up, Vox, I mean me."
Martis and Sev cracked up and leaned on each other.
"Small and fast!" Sev chortled, more amazed at not stuttering while he was laughing.
"No, I'll grant the 'fast' part," Martis giggled. "But not in Quidditch!"
Narcissa narrowed her eyes. "You don't think I can play Quidditch, can you?"
"It's not that, it's ... well, why are you wanting to get on the team? You said many times it's full of nothing but brutes and it glorifies wizard's inhumanity to wizard." She smirked. "Perhaps because of the drooling fanboys?"
Sev rubbed his finger over his lip, then spoke carefully in measured words, "I never thought about the popularity of female Quidditch players." He turned to Martis, grasping her hands and continuing in the same measured tone, "Spirals, will you still be my friend when you're swamped with drooling fanboys?"
"Of course, Snips," she practically sang. "For you, I would - "
"You're making me nauseous," Narcissa warned them. "All right, Vox. Tomorrow afternoon on the pitch."
She got up and went back to the fashionable end of the table.
Martis poked Sev's shoulder. "What a dipwit. We're not even vying for the same position."
"Yes, but I think it has something to do with Penderdandis actually having ANY female players on Slytherin." He leaned on his elbows. "It's practically guaranteed you'll be put in for Beater."
"If not, the House will be in open rebellion."
"But I don't think he'll be open to any other girls getting on the team."
"Guess we'll find out." She grinned. "Congratulations, Snips. We've had a whole conversation without you stuttering."
He smiled. "Took a lot of concentration. I hope th-th-this ... " His face fell.
Martis wrapped him up in a hug. "Don't worry about it, Sev. It's been almost two weeks, you've done very, very well in that amount of time."
"N-N-No, I'm just ... I'm just mad at my father."
"Aren't decent-thinking people all? Well, he can't really touch you here, so there's no reason to think about him." She hugged him again. "Now, what was this about Adonia telling Black that she wouldn't be after him even if she was straight?"
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The following day, Martis was strapping on her Quidditch armor and padding over the fawn-colored base unitard all the players wore. Tightening the buckles on her boots, she thought about all the practice she had put in during spring semester and the summer.
She stood up, brushing her hair over her shoulder. Times like these she hated the length of her hair. It was not very practical for most sports. Grabbing her brush, she pulled her hair up, brushing it up on top of her head, then secured it with a hair-tie. She finished brushing the length (now just at the tops of her thighs) and looked at it as it fell over her shoulder. Flipping it back, she pulled her fingerless leather gloves on and tightened the straps.
Picking up her bat, she touched the carved section spelling out 'Backbeat Spirals'. She found her wand and repaired the carved areas back to normal.
Flipping the bat in hand, she looked at her reflection.
"Backbeat Spirals is back."