Disclaimer: Elves are not mine, but Tolkien's. I wish they were, though.
A?N: I know you will dislike Haldir in this one, but my elf had became DARK, since Leggy *destroyed* him all those years ago.In a few more chapies, you'll understand the roots of the Haldir's hatred. Review and I will try to bring ch 11 out.
~*~*~*~*~
(Present time/Lorien)
(Legolas's POV)
***************
I knew I needed to rest. My body was tired, and my eyes were itching from a lack of sleep I was submitting myself too.
Two hours had passed since we arrived to Caras Galadgon and me and my companions had already met the Lady and the Lord of these Woods.
The Galadriel was as intriguing and mysterious as she ever was; much unchanged in appearance since the last time I had met her. But when she saw me, I knew that the small regard she held for me was clouded by a bitter judgment of my past.
When we met her at the stairs, I was the first one of the Fellowship who had been submitted to her mind exploration.
I knew she wanted to say something more to me, besides that lingering warning about the Quest, but I didn't hear her voicing anything else when she invaded my thoughts.
I could first sense that she had ventured inside of my mind, but I could also feel that she was suppressing the words she really wanted to say to me.
It was weird to feel something like that, coming from the other person, but I chose not to think on it much.
Whatever it was, it would stay in silence, because right now I needed to work on the subject at hand.
My lover Aragorn was being quiet today and I felt some kind of the relief when I sensed him ignoring my presence.
I knew I had to tell him sooner or later that this relationship cannot go any further.
I knew that I would feel an extreme guilt for dismissing him, but I needed to work on my past right now.
I needed to win Haldir's heart again, no matter what price or what obstacle was at hand.
I saw Frodo sitting against the tree, fellowship was staying beside; smiling as he engaged himself in the small talk with Sam.
He realized that I was watching him, and he motioned with his hand to join them.
I took a few steps toward them and I found myself standing before the two tiny figures.
"Hey, Legolas." He greeted me in a simple manner and I took the seat beside them, my tiredness lingered just in the corner of my mind.
"Frodo, Sam." I smiled at them both." How do you like a fair Lorien, so far?" I started a small conversation, trying to lighten the mood in our crowd, and after a few minutes Merry and Pippin joined us with their merry chatter. So taken I was with the Merry's joke, that I didn't feel someone approaching me with a light steps.
"Legolas?" Aragorn came up behind me and I felt like the mountain had fallen upon me at that moment.
Ranger's behavior was somber and I knew something was bothering him. I suspected that our current relationship was that *something*,which was troubling his mind.
"Yes, Aragorn?" I glanced upon him, observing that he looked exhausted and I wondered if he took some rest last night.
Merry told me that he had been drinking, and I knew that Aragorn was being cross with me, because I didn't pay any attention to him yesterday. I felt guilty because I ignored him but I couldn't stay at his side, because my thoughts were invaded by the other person.
I couldn't find any peace ever since I saw Haldir again, and I needed to get away from the Aragorn's suspicious looks.
"I need to talk to you." He said with the soft voice and I nodded to him, raising myself from my sitting position and excusing myself to hobbits.
"I followed him until we came to the small clearing. I sighed as he turned his back to me and lowered his head to the ground.
I knew he had something to say to me and I waited for him to start speaking.
He was reluctant to start and I waited patiently for him to tell me his troubles.
"Legolas, may I ask you something." His eyes glanced upon me and I came a little closer to him, lowering my hand on his shoulder.
"Of course, you may! What is your question?" I asked him, while I tried to figure out what possible questions he had to ask me.
"What do you feel for me?" His exploring gaze was searching my face and I sighed, wondering what to say to him that wouldn't hurt him too much.
I knew he would hate me, when I reveal to him my actual feelings, but I knew I had to do this right now.
I needed to clear this with him, before I seek a future with the other person who held my heart.
"I am glad you asked me that question Aragorn. I think it is about time to have this talk, concerning our relationship. You know that I consider you a good friend and we have been lovers for these ten long years, but..."
I was stopped in the mid sentence by the Aragorn's irritating tone, and I knew that this confession would leave a painful mark upon the proud Ranger.
"But what? Stop beating around the bushes, Legolas. I want to know your exact feelings for me, right now." Aragorn released a deep sigh, he had been holding in, and his face carried an icy expression.
"I feel only a deep respect for you. Nothing more, nothing less. My heart was lost long ago and only one person has an access to it. I am so sorry Aragorn that I cannot love you back."
I finally admitted a truth concerning our relationship, and I knew that this admission was the hardest one I had ever witnessed.
I really considered Aragorn a good friend and I knew that our friendship would not last after this conversation.
So many times had Aragorn told me he loved me, but every time I couldn't tell him what was hidden inside of my heart.
I respected him and I had tried to love him back, but I couldn't do it because Haldir still resided inside of my mind.
I couldn't bring myself to look at Aragorn because I knew that he was hurt beyond the words.
"Haldir is the one you love! I knew it." His reply was breathless and his eyes were drowned in the deep anguish.
He clenched his fists together and I knew that fury within him would be resurfaced.
"It's all his fault." Aragorn gnashed his teeth together and his eyes were piercing me with the dark anger, but I knew I deserved every furious action I would receive from him.
"No, don't blame him. I am the one who should suffer your wrath, not him. He has nothing to do with this."
I tried to defend my beloved from my ex-lover's wrath but I knew that Aragorn would still blame an innocent party, instead of me.
"I will not give up on you."
That was the last thing he had said before he left me standing on the clearing, and I realized that I had managed to hurt one more person this time.
I never intended for Aragorn to get burned by me, and I told him too many times not to open his heart for me.
I never wanted for him to fall in love with me, but the faith had managed to make me a heartbreaker this time again.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
My head was lowered in a deep shame, when I made my way back to my companions, that I didn't notice anyone standing around; observing me with his cold, stern stare.
But I did see a shadow of that observing figure, which was enough for me to bring me back from my troubled thoughts.
I gasped, when I met Haldir's eyes looking at me with his icy glare, with his arms resting across his chest.
I stopped walking when I saw him observing me. I shivered, realizing that we were alone right now and there was no one else around us.
I took a few steps toward him and I came to halt when I was only a few inches away from him, while my heart raced in the fast pace.
He just observed me with the same intent, and I wondered if I should start speaking first.
I realized he would greet me only with silence if I started speaking, but I knew I had to try to break this wall between us.
"Haldir!" I said his name with uncertainty and I saw that his form was becoming restless as he gazed upon my eyes.
His eyes, all to clear, showed some certain hatred he was saving just for me and I knew that this time; his heart would be *hard* to get. I realized that he hated me right now, but I couldn't blame him for feeling that emotion. Sometimes I even hated myself.
"The one who I am despising, is calling me by my name. Little does he know that I could rip his tongue out, because my name became a poison by his regard." Haldir hissed.
His expression didn't change as he spoke to me, and I collected my strength to bear his fury.
I knew why he was speaking to me in a third person view. He tried to hurt me by making me invisible, but I knew that I deserved every painful comment he would bestow upon me.
"Haldir I am so sorr ..." I tried to apologize, to ask for his forgiveness, to clear my soul, but I was cut by his sudden shocking action.
His knife found it's way upon my throat, and the sharp blade was resting right on the center of my flesh.
"Do not spread your venom around here, you snake. You precious head will be lost, if you even try to make amends for what you had done in the past. I am as unforgiving as I am cold. There is no pardon left for me to give. Now, GO AWAY !"
I listened to his order, because his blade was drawing a blood from the column of my flesh. I turned myself around and I hastened away, giving one last look toward his direction. This hatred I spoke of was marked on his eyes, and I realized that there was no chance for me to win his favor back.
~*~*~*~*
Two hours had passed since I had my unfortunate meeting with Haldir.
My company was already sleeping but I was the only one who couldn't find no rest.
I settled myself beside the same tree, I was sharing with hobbits a few of hours ago, and I sighed as my weary body refused to rest.
"Legolas, you are bleeding."
I knew that someone was calling my name but I couldn't figure out who, because the whirling thoughts were occupying my head.
I realized that it was a Frodo's voice calling me and I saw him standing beside me, as he explored the wound I had on my neck.
"Who did this to you?" He asked, while he went back inside where the company is resting, and in a few seconds later he was holding a white cloth in his hands.
He placed a white silken cloth upon my bleeding neck and I hissed when I felt a sudden pain that action was provoking.
I didn't respond to the Frodo's question because I was feeling an ache in my heart and the sense of the great dread took over me.
I had lost my hope, and I knew that the things between me and Haldir would never get better. He hated me and that couldn't be changed.
"Legolas, what is the matter?" Frodo tried to ask again, but after a while he gave up asking questions, and he started to tend to my small wound.
I wanted to respond to him, but my voice had vanished and only darkness remained in my mind.
Instead, I smiled at him; silently telling him that I appreciated his aid and he frowned when he saw that my face was drowned in anguish.
"Legolas, speak to me." He said, trying so hard to reach me and to provoke some kind of response.
My silence was breached by his pleading voice, and I knew I had to say something to this concerned hobbit.
"Haldir, did this to me." I pointed at the cut while I bitterly laughed, and I saw that Frodo's eyes were widely gaping at me.
"But why?"
Frodo tried so hard to comprehend what made Haldir so hateful toward me, but I was the only one who truly knew a deepness of my beloved's pain.
"Would you like me to tell you why. Would you like for me to continue my unfinished story? Would you really like to find out why everybody hates me on this Arda?"
I tried to lower my voice but I couldn't. These last few sentences sounded so harsh and cold.
"Don't be ridiculous, Legolas. No one hates you. I believe in forgiveness, and I know that Haldir will forgive you in time.
You only need to have some patience and you'll see that everything will come to it's place." Frodo sighed when he saw that his words didn't make me feel any better.
"Yes, I would like for you to continue with your tale. I am sure that the rest of it is not so bad as you have made it sound."
Frodo's hands touched my own and I knew that I needed to do something tonight to erase this pain, Haldir's hateful words had brought to me.
I knew that continuing my tale would make me feel better and would release everything I had kept inside, mending all those years I lived with this lingering regret.
TBC
A?N: I know you will dislike Haldir in this one, but my elf had became DARK, since Leggy *destroyed* him all those years ago.In a few more chapies, you'll understand the roots of the Haldir's hatred. Review and I will try to bring ch 11 out.
~*~*~*~*~
(Present time/Lorien)
(Legolas's POV)
***************
I knew I needed to rest. My body was tired, and my eyes were itching from a lack of sleep I was submitting myself too.
Two hours had passed since we arrived to Caras Galadgon and me and my companions had already met the Lady and the Lord of these Woods.
The Galadriel was as intriguing and mysterious as she ever was; much unchanged in appearance since the last time I had met her. But when she saw me, I knew that the small regard she held for me was clouded by a bitter judgment of my past.
When we met her at the stairs, I was the first one of the Fellowship who had been submitted to her mind exploration.
I knew she wanted to say something more to me, besides that lingering warning about the Quest, but I didn't hear her voicing anything else when she invaded my thoughts.
I could first sense that she had ventured inside of my mind, but I could also feel that she was suppressing the words she really wanted to say to me.
It was weird to feel something like that, coming from the other person, but I chose not to think on it much.
Whatever it was, it would stay in silence, because right now I needed to work on the subject at hand.
My lover Aragorn was being quiet today and I felt some kind of the relief when I sensed him ignoring my presence.
I knew I had to tell him sooner or later that this relationship cannot go any further.
I knew that I would feel an extreme guilt for dismissing him, but I needed to work on my past right now.
I needed to win Haldir's heart again, no matter what price or what obstacle was at hand.
I saw Frodo sitting against the tree, fellowship was staying beside; smiling as he engaged himself in the small talk with Sam.
He realized that I was watching him, and he motioned with his hand to join them.
I took a few steps toward them and I found myself standing before the two tiny figures.
"Hey, Legolas." He greeted me in a simple manner and I took the seat beside them, my tiredness lingered just in the corner of my mind.
"Frodo, Sam." I smiled at them both." How do you like a fair Lorien, so far?" I started a small conversation, trying to lighten the mood in our crowd, and after a few minutes Merry and Pippin joined us with their merry chatter. So taken I was with the Merry's joke, that I didn't feel someone approaching me with a light steps.
"Legolas?" Aragorn came up behind me and I felt like the mountain had fallen upon me at that moment.
Ranger's behavior was somber and I knew something was bothering him. I suspected that our current relationship was that *something*,which was troubling his mind.
"Yes, Aragorn?" I glanced upon him, observing that he looked exhausted and I wondered if he took some rest last night.
Merry told me that he had been drinking, and I knew that Aragorn was being cross with me, because I didn't pay any attention to him yesterday. I felt guilty because I ignored him but I couldn't stay at his side, because my thoughts were invaded by the other person.
I couldn't find any peace ever since I saw Haldir again, and I needed to get away from the Aragorn's suspicious looks.
"I need to talk to you." He said with the soft voice and I nodded to him, raising myself from my sitting position and excusing myself to hobbits.
"I followed him until we came to the small clearing. I sighed as he turned his back to me and lowered his head to the ground.
I knew he had something to say to me and I waited for him to start speaking.
He was reluctant to start and I waited patiently for him to tell me his troubles.
"Legolas, may I ask you something." His eyes glanced upon me and I came a little closer to him, lowering my hand on his shoulder.
"Of course, you may! What is your question?" I asked him, while I tried to figure out what possible questions he had to ask me.
"What do you feel for me?" His exploring gaze was searching my face and I sighed, wondering what to say to him that wouldn't hurt him too much.
I knew he would hate me, when I reveal to him my actual feelings, but I knew I had to do this right now.
I needed to clear this with him, before I seek a future with the other person who held my heart.
"I am glad you asked me that question Aragorn. I think it is about time to have this talk, concerning our relationship. You know that I consider you a good friend and we have been lovers for these ten long years, but..."
I was stopped in the mid sentence by the Aragorn's irritating tone, and I knew that this confession would leave a painful mark upon the proud Ranger.
"But what? Stop beating around the bushes, Legolas. I want to know your exact feelings for me, right now." Aragorn released a deep sigh, he had been holding in, and his face carried an icy expression.
"I feel only a deep respect for you. Nothing more, nothing less. My heart was lost long ago and only one person has an access to it. I am so sorry Aragorn that I cannot love you back."
I finally admitted a truth concerning our relationship, and I knew that this admission was the hardest one I had ever witnessed.
I really considered Aragorn a good friend and I knew that our friendship would not last after this conversation.
So many times had Aragorn told me he loved me, but every time I couldn't tell him what was hidden inside of my heart.
I respected him and I had tried to love him back, but I couldn't do it because Haldir still resided inside of my mind.
I couldn't bring myself to look at Aragorn because I knew that he was hurt beyond the words.
"Haldir is the one you love! I knew it." His reply was breathless and his eyes were drowned in the deep anguish.
He clenched his fists together and I knew that fury within him would be resurfaced.
"It's all his fault." Aragorn gnashed his teeth together and his eyes were piercing me with the dark anger, but I knew I deserved every furious action I would receive from him.
"No, don't blame him. I am the one who should suffer your wrath, not him. He has nothing to do with this."
I tried to defend my beloved from my ex-lover's wrath but I knew that Aragorn would still blame an innocent party, instead of me.
"I will not give up on you."
That was the last thing he had said before he left me standing on the clearing, and I realized that I had managed to hurt one more person this time.
I never intended for Aragorn to get burned by me, and I told him too many times not to open his heart for me.
I never wanted for him to fall in love with me, but the faith had managed to make me a heartbreaker this time again.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
My head was lowered in a deep shame, when I made my way back to my companions, that I didn't notice anyone standing around; observing me with his cold, stern stare.
But I did see a shadow of that observing figure, which was enough for me to bring me back from my troubled thoughts.
I gasped, when I met Haldir's eyes looking at me with his icy glare, with his arms resting across his chest.
I stopped walking when I saw him observing me. I shivered, realizing that we were alone right now and there was no one else around us.
I took a few steps toward him and I came to halt when I was only a few inches away from him, while my heart raced in the fast pace.
He just observed me with the same intent, and I wondered if I should start speaking first.
I realized he would greet me only with silence if I started speaking, but I knew I had to try to break this wall between us.
"Haldir!" I said his name with uncertainty and I saw that his form was becoming restless as he gazed upon my eyes.
His eyes, all to clear, showed some certain hatred he was saving just for me and I knew that this time; his heart would be *hard* to get. I realized that he hated me right now, but I couldn't blame him for feeling that emotion. Sometimes I even hated myself.
"The one who I am despising, is calling me by my name. Little does he know that I could rip his tongue out, because my name became a poison by his regard." Haldir hissed.
His expression didn't change as he spoke to me, and I collected my strength to bear his fury.
I knew why he was speaking to me in a third person view. He tried to hurt me by making me invisible, but I knew that I deserved every painful comment he would bestow upon me.
"Haldir I am so sorr ..." I tried to apologize, to ask for his forgiveness, to clear my soul, but I was cut by his sudden shocking action.
His knife found it's way upon my throat, and the sharp blade was resting right on the center of my flesh.
"Do not spread your venom around here, you snake. You precious head will be lost, if you even try to make amends for what you had done in the past. I am as unforgiving as I am cold. There is no pardon left for me to give. Now, GO AWAY !"
I listened to his order, because his blade was drawing a blood from the column of my flesh. I turned myself around and I hastened away, giving one last look toward his direction. This hatred I spoke of was marked on his eyes, and I realized that there was no chance for me to win his favor back.
~*~*~*~*
Two hours had passed since I had my unfortunate meeting with Haldir.
My company was already sleeping but I was the only one who couldn't find no rest.
I settled myself beside the same tree, I was sharing with hobbits a few of hours ago, and I sighed as my weary body refused to rest.
"Legolas, you are bleeding."
I knew that someone was calling my name but I couldn't figure out who, because the whirling thoughts were occupying my head.
I realized that it was a Frodo's voice calling me and I saw him standing beside me, as he explored the wound I had on my neck.
"Who did this to you?" He asked, while he went back inside where the company is resting, and in a few seconds later he was holding a white cloth in his hands.
He placed a white silken cloth upon my bleeding neck and I hissed when I felt a sudden pain that action was provoking.
I didn't respond to the Frodo's question because I was feeling an ache in my heart and the sense of the great dread took over me.
I had lost my hope, and I knew that the things between me and Haldir would never get better. He hated me and that couldn't be changed.
"Legolas, what is the matter?" Frodo tried to ask again, but after a while he gave up asking questions, and he started to tend to my small wound.
I wanted to respond to him, but my voice had vanished and only darkness remained in my mind.
Instead, I smiled at him; silently telling him that I appreciated his aid and he frowned when he saw that my face was drowned in anguish.
"Legolas, speak to me." He said, trying so hard to reach me and to provoke some kind of response.
My silence was breached by his pleading voice, and I knew I had to say something to this concerned hobbit.
"Haldir, did this to me." I pointed at the cut while I bitterly laughed, and I saw that Frodo's eyes were widely gaping at me.
"But why?"
Frodo tried so hard to comprehend what made Haldir so hateful toward me, but I was the only one who truly knew a deepness of my beloved's pain.
"Would you like me to tell you why. Would you like for me to continue my unfinished story? Would you really like to find out why everybody hates me on this Arda?"
I tried to lower my voice but I couldn't. These last few sentences sounded so harsh and cold.
"Don't be ridiculous, Legolas. No one hates you. I believe in forgiveness, and I know that Haldir will forgive you in time.
You only need to have some patience and you'll see that everything will come to it's place." Frodo sighed when he saw that his words didn't make me feel any better.
"Yes, I would like for you to continue with your tale. I am sure that the rest of it is not so bad as you have made it sound."
Frodo's hands touched my own and I knew that I needed to do something tonight to erase this pain, Haldir's hateful words had brought to me.
I knew that continuing my tale would make me feel better and would release everything I had kept inside, mending all those years I lived with this lingering regret.
TBC