Title: Finding A Way Home
Author: Andrea
Rating: R
Author's Note: Thanks, COURTNEY, editor extraordinaire. Thanks for all the reviews, everyone. Fell free to do that again. And enjoy.
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Finding A Way Home
Chapter 13: Just What We Need
The phone rings, and my hand automatically reaches out for the receiver, groping around on the bedside table until I find it.
"Hello," I say, my voice groggy and still heavy with sleep.
"Oh!" The voice on the other end of the phone sounds startled. "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong number." Now the voice sounds familiar.
"Maggie?"
Silence. Then, tentatively, "John?"
"Yeah."
"Oh, my God. Is Abby okay? The baby?"
I glance down at Abby resting in my arms. She's yawning and blinking up at me, trying to wake up. She's lying alongside me, her firm little belly pressed against my side. I feel a little thump from within. Guess the baby's waking up, too.
"They're fine. Great, in fact. Abby's right here. But I don't think she's really awake yet." A sleepy Abby snuggles into my shoulder.
There's another moment of silence while, I assume, Maggie takes in this information. When she speaks, I can almost hear the grin in her voice. "So I guess you're back together then?"
"Yeah," I say, a smile creeping across my face.
"For good, this time." There's a note of warning in her voice. I watch Abby lightly trace a pattern on my chest with her fingertips.
"I hope so," I tell Maggie.
"Good. Oh, I'm so happy for the both of you. I know how much Abby wanted this."
"It's what I wanted, too." By now, Abby's more awake and is looking up at me quizzically, motioning for me to give her the phone.
"Well … congratulations."
"Thank you. Okay, here's Abby," I say, preparing to give Abby the phone.
"John?" I hear Maggie say.
"Yeah?"
"Take care of them."
"Oh, I will." I assure her, smiling as I hand Abby the receiver.
"Hi, Mom." Abby says, sleepily.
I scoot down on the bed, turning from my back onto my side, lying face to face with Abby.
"No, you weren't interrupting anything." Abby rolls her eyes at me, and I can guess what Maggie was insinuating. Huh, not a bad idea. "Well, yeah, we were sleeping … well, I'm not working until tonight, and besides, we were … up late last night."
I bury my head in Abby's naked shoulder, suppressing the giggles that threaten to escape. Yeah, I remember being up a lot last night. Most of the night, in fact. Maggie's not that far off in her theory about what was going on here. If only we hadn't been taking a well needed break, we probably would have been up to something. And now that I'm snuggled into Abby's shoulder, taking in her scent -- the shampoo in her hair and the soap she uses mingling with the barely distinguishable but unmistakable muskiness of our lovemaking still clinging to her skin -- I'm feeling ready for a repeat performance.
I kiss the soft skin of her shoulder lightly, quietly … moving my lips across her collarbone to kiss the hollow at the base of her neck. Her free hand slides up my back and rests at the nape of my neck.
"I don't know …" Abby is saying into the phone, "A couple of weeks, I guess. But then last night …" I pause in the midst of my ministrations, waiting to see exactly what Abby intends to tell Maggie about our reunion. "We had a nice date." I smile and return to my former occupation, kissing a trail in between Abby's full breasts. "And … your granddaughter started kicking." Apparently this is the first time that Maggie's finding out about the sex of the baby. Abby holds the phone away from her ear for a minute, and I can hear her mother's excited screeching at the other hand.
"So I guess you're excited that it's a girl? … No, I know … So is John … Me? … Well, yeah, I guess … No, it just makes me a little bit nervous, I guess." I can guess what they are talking about. I know Abby's still a little worried about the ramifications of having a little girl. I raise my gaze up to her and smile at her. She smiles back, running her fingers through the hair on the back of my head. "Yeah, I'm sure it will be." She shakes her head and gives me another little eye roll. I figure it's time to encourage ending this conversation.
I dip my head back to her breasts, licking and nibbling my way across her swollen flesh to find that little pink bud. As soon as my mouth closes over her nipple, she arches her back toward me and gasps quietly.
"Mom? Hey, Mom? Can I call you back? It's … uh … time for breakfast." I look up at her and she shrugs at me. "The baby's getting hungry. Yeah, I'll call you back … Okay … Okay, I will … Bye, Mom." Abby drops the phone and I reach around for the receiver, intending to hang it up again. "Leave it," she instructs, moving closer to me.
"So Maggie says, 'hi,'" Abby says, massaging my scalp while I'm still busy enjoying her new, pregnant boobs. "Mmm, that feels nice."
"So I guess they're not sore, anymore," I say, moving up to lay on the pillow next to Abby, letting my hand replace my lips.
"Nope. Not for a while now."
I sigh. "All this time … I've been missing out. Seems such a shame to have wasted all these months of pregnant sex."
"It is pretty good, isn't it?" She looks down at my hand caressing a swollen orb. "I guess you especially like those, huh?"
"Well … they won't last forever. So I figure I should enjoy them while I can."
"Well, they're very sensitive these days. So I'd be happy to have you enjoy them whenever you want."
"Good to know."
Abby leans toward me and captures my lips with her own, her hands traveling down my back to my butt and pulling me closer to her. And then she rolls over onto her back, bringing me with her, letting her legs fall open to give me room to settle on top of her. And now we really couldn't be any closer. Well, okay, there's one way … but I have the feeling we're on our way to that.
"Again?" I ask her.
She nods at me, with a very serious look. But then she smiles coyly. "Don't tell me you're complaining. I can feel how happy … Mr. Happy is."
I can't help but chuckle. "Who's complaining? I was just making sure."
"Well, if we've exceeded your limit …"
"Me? I'm fine."
"Yeah, you are," she says, leaning forward to kiss my chest, her hands on my butt trying to pull me into her. Hey, why fight it? I slip inside of her easily as she lifts her hips towards mine, sighing in my ear. I roll us over as one so that Abby's now lying against my chest.
"You sure it's not too much for you?"
"What do you think?" She asks, grinding against me, her tight muscles massaging my hardness within her.
"What about the baby?" I grunt, my eyes closing involuntarily.
"The baby's good. Don't you feel her kicking?" As a matter of fact, I do. With Abby on top of me, our bodies close together, I can clearly feel the kicks through Abby's stomach. Guess all is well in there. "Besides, we've got a lot of lost time to make up for. So I'm sure she'll understand us keeping her up all night. She'll return the favor soon enough."
Abby pushes herself up, sitting tall on top of me, my shaft still buried deep within her. She starts a slow rocking motion, as my hands move from her back around to her hips, finally coming to rest on the hard bump that is our baby. Looking at her body in the bright morning light, I realize how much she's changed since the last time we did this. Well, the last time until last night, anyway.
"About that 'lost time' thing …" I say. Abby's eyes lock on mine. "I don't ever want to go through that again, Abby. I love you too much to be away from you."
I see the look of surprise settle over Abby's face. "You still love me?" She asks quietly, ceasing her movements. She looks down at me, biting on her lip.
"Of course." I can't believe she ever doubted that. Why else would I be here with her, like this? I guess she just needs to hear it. "I love you."
Tears spring to her eyes and she swallows hard before whispering, "I love you, too."
I slip my hands up her back, pulling her down to me, her chest against mine once again. She rests her head on my shoulder, her hand coming up to caress my face, our eyes still locked together.
"I missed you," she tells me.
"I missed you, too," I assure her.
"Good. Now make love to me." So I roll her over once again. No matter that she shouldn't be lying on her back; this won't take long.
"Again?" I ask her, thrusting into her.
"Again."
So I dip my head down toward hers, capturing her lips in a kiss -- getting lost in her, getting lost in us, getting lost in our love. It feels so good to have it back. And this time around we've got something to show for our love. My hand strays back to Abby's belly, slipping in between us to find that place where our little love child grows. Abby grins up at me, and for the first time in months, everything feels right. There's no place else I ever want to be but right here in this bed with Abby and our baby girl.
This is exactly where I should be. Always.
******
"I think we're gonna have to get up some time soon," Abby says several hours later. So many hours later, in fact, that the room is growing dark as the late afternoon sun wanes.
"Why? We've done just fine staying in bed all day so far."
Basically, we've been camped out in Abby's bed all day long. At one point, I crawled out of bed and into the kitchen, scrounging for food that I brought back to bed for Abby. Not wanting to wander around the apartment naked, I'd found my underwear and put it on, then brought Abby my button-down shirt to wear. I think it is my favorite look on her. We're still in our state of half-dress now, hours later, with Abby leaning up against the pillows, me with my head on a pillow in her lap, bonding with the baby. After all of our activity last night and this morning, we've been too tired to do much else this afternoon. So we've just stayed here, lying around, talking, dozing, feeling the baby's kicks.
"Well, some of us have to go to work," Abby tells me, running her fingers through my hair.
"I think … since you've been at home in bed all day … well, you must be sick. You should call in."
"I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"Because if I called into work every time I wanted to stay in bed all day … with you, I'd never go to work."
"Really?" I ask, turning over from my side to my back and looking up at her.
"So even though I don't really want to, I'd better make myself go to work. I wouldn't want to turn into a lazy bum."
"Oh, I don't know, I think bumhood could have its good points."
"Yes, it's always been my dream to live in a cardboard box underneath an overpass. Except not really. So I guess I'll have to go to work so I don't get fired."
"You could just quit. We both could."
"And what? Just stay here in bed all day, everyday?"
"Sure."
"Because that wouldn't get old."
"Well …"
"Today was great. Just what we needed. But if we vegged out like this all the time, it wouldn't be as much fun. Because it wouldn't be as special."
"But I think we should definitely try to do it more often."
"Carter, if we did it any more often than we have in the past eighteen hours, I think we would both pass out from exhaustion."
"That's not what I meant," I say laughing. "What time are you on?" I ask, sitting up.
"Actually, not for a few hours. But I figured I'd better start getting used to the idea now."
"What idea? Going to work?"
"I was thinking more along the lines of … walking. I'm still not sure how that one's gonna go yet."
"Sore?"
"A little. It's been a while since I've had this kind of … work out."
"Sorry."
"Don't be."
"Want me to kiss it and make it better."
"Absolutely not. Keep your dirty mouth to yourself."
"Dirty, huh?"
"Yeah, I might have to wash your mouth out with soap."
"Or you could spank me."
"Stop it." She gives me an exaggerated eye roll.
"Okay, fine. But you know, if we hurry …"
"John, I couldn't. Really. I was serious about that not being able to walk so well thing."
"I was going to say that we could go get some dinner."
"Oh." She looks a little sheepish.
"And if we have time, there's someplace else that I wanted to go, too."
"Oh yeah? Where?"
"Surprise."
"I hate surprises."
"No, you don't. Who doesn't love a surprise? Especially when it's a great surprise like … well, you know …" I say with a nod of my head toward her belly.
"Ah, yes. Little Surprise, here." There's a note of sarcasm in her voice, but her hands pat her little bump as she smiles down at it fondly.
"Princess Surprise."
"That sounds like a very scary child's toy. The kind you have to run around searching for weeks before Christmas, just to have it break five minutes out of the box." I can't help it, I find myself laughing happily at this image. "What?" Abby asks.
"I can't wait. That's gonna be us, you know. Pretty soon we'll be those crazed parents who will stop at nothing to get our child the perfect toy."
"Speak for yourself."
"You just wait and see. Wait until she's begging for a Princess Surprise doll for three months straight. And she keeps looking up at you with big puppy dog eyes, just like mine. You know you won't be able to resist."
"You're crazy," she tells me, as she starts to get up.
"So you've told me before. Where are you going?"
"To take a bath. I better get going if we're gonna have time for my surprise."
"You want some company?"
"That depends."
"On what?"
"Whether or not you can be good."
"But I'm always good."
"I meant if you can behave yourself."
"Oh, I'll behave myself. Mostly because I'm too tired for anything else."
"Fine. Then you can come."
"Didn't you hear me, Abby? I just said I was too tired to --"
"Shut up," she says with a laugh … and another eye roll in my direction. "You're not funny."
"Then why are you laughing?"
"When I think of a good comeback, I'll let you know."
"Oh well, I'll be anxiously awaiting that."
She narrows her eyes at me. "Just get in the tub."
"What if I don't? Are you gonna punish me?"
"No," she says in a singsong voice, "I won't punish you." She gives me an amused and flirty look.
"Yeah. So why I don't I just go run that bath?" I say, as I head into the bathroom.
"What a good idea." Her voice is dripping with sarcasm as she follows along behind me, smacking my ass when I lean over the tub to turn on the water.
"Hey!"
"Just a little taste of things to come. You know, if you're a bad boy."
"Oh, I can be a very bad boy."
"I'll bet you can," she says as she wraps her arms around me and stands up on her tiptoes to kiss me. "You light the candles, and I'll get the bubbles."
"Oh, bubbles." Wow, this day just keeps getting better.
******
"So where's my surprise?" Abby asks for the fifty-thousandth time.
"You'll see. We're almost there. I just hope it's still open."
"Still open? So … since we just ate … I'm guessing it's some kind of store?"
"You'll see."
"Well, I don't think it's the movies since we just did that last night. Ooh, is it like some kind of spa? Are you taking me to get a massage? But you can't just walk in for that, can you? Although walk-in massages might be a good idea. And it would be an excellent surprise." She looks up at me hopefully.
"Sorry, no. It's not a massage. But I'll keep that in mind for future reference."
"So where are we going?"
"As a matter of fact, we're just about there." I tell her, happily taking note of the light shining out from the window. Still open. I open the door for Abby and usher her in.
"This is my surprise?" She looks a little … befuddled.
"Yeah. Isn't this place great?"
"It's a … baby store."
"Uh-huh. Because we're … having a baby? I sort of stumbled over this place last week. I just peeked in the window then. I wanted to wait and come back with you. Wow, look at all this stuff."
It isn't a real big space, but it's devoted entirely to baby paraphernalia. Everything from nursery furniture to diaper bags fill the store. From what I can see, the store is set up in sections, each section meant to look like a nursery complete with furniture, wall coverings, bedding, and various baby items … all samples of what the store has for sale.
"C'mon," I say, grabbing Abby's hand. "Let's look around. See if we see anything we like."
"John, wait. I don't know if …"
"Did you realize there were so many cribs to choose from? I mean, there's light and dark, painted and stained, fancy and plain. There are even ones with canopies, and this one is brass." I let go of her hand and move over to a nearby display. "Look at this one, Abby," I say with a grin. "It's a four poster crib. And it has little animals on the top. Like for a jungle theme. Or Noah's ark."
"You like that one?" She asks, her voice curiously flat. I thought she'd be excited to see all this stuff. I think it's all pretty neat.
"Well, actually, I think it's a little dark. Maybe a little bit … much. For a baby's room. But if you like it …" She just shrugs, shakes her head 'no.' "You'd probably like something simpler, right? And Abby, whatever you want. So what do you like?" I ask, gesturing around to all the various displays.
"I don't know. There's so many … I don't really know where to start."
"Oh now, don't you worry about that, dear." A woman materializes next to Abby, clearly one of the salesladies here. "Lots of first time mommies feel that way," she continues, "But that what's I'm here for. When is the happy day?" The woman reaches out and puts her hands on Abby's barely-showing belly, and Abby literally freezes in place, staring at the woman's hands. Oh no, this isn't gonna be pretty.
"Uh … March," I say, taking Abby by the arm and pulling her over to me. I wrap my arm around her, instead of letting this stranger keep touching her, something I know she hates.
"Well, isn't that nice?" The saleslady asks enthusiastically. A little too enthusiastically. She claps her hands together, and her eyes even look a bit misty. I glance over at Abby, who slides her eyes sideways toward me, and then quickly looks away before we can both start laughing. "And do you know what you're having?"
"A girl," I tell her.
"Oh, a little girl. Well, that's just so much fun. I always wanted a little girl myself. I got three boys instead. And wouldn't you know I have three grandsons now, too. You must just be so excited to get to pick out all these cute pink things." She says this to Abby, who is still looking at her like maybe she just arrived from some other planet.
"Uh … yeah, I guess." Abby gives me a look that plainly says, 'get rid of her.'
"You know," I say to the saleslady in as cheerful a voice as I can muster, "We really appreciate your help. But we've still got a few months to go, so it's a little early for us to buy anything." Maybe without dreams of a big commission, she'll leave us alone.
"Oh, it's never too early," she tells me, shaking her finger at me.
"Well, we're just looking right now." I say firmly. She gives me a brief look of scorn, before perking up once again. "Well, if you don't see anything that's just right for your perfect nursery out here, you come on back and see me. I have catalogues for everything. I just got a new one, in fact, with prints made especially for little girls. Every shade of pink imaginable. And the flowers. Just perfect for a precious little baby girl." She peers around me and looks at Abby, reaching out to touch her again. Luckily Abby just happens to 'sneeze' at that moment. The saleslady yanks her hand back, and moves to the back of the store, assuring us that she'll be there if we need any help.
Next to me, Abby flops down in one of the rockers. "Ugh, I can't take it. I can't take this pressure," she says, holding her head in her hand.
"It's okay, she's gone. Now we can just browse."
"Great," Abby says, sounding less than thrilled at the prospect. But she does take my hand and stand up to walk around with me. We wander the store with me pointing out various things that I like, and Abby half-heartedly giving an opinion on them. Mostly, though, she doesn't seem to care. And I was so sure she'd enjoy this. I thought it would be so much fun, but the last thing I want to do is drag Abby around.
"We might as well go, I guess," I say, hearing my own disappointment. It's not a big deal, it's really not. But still …
"I'm sorry, I guess I'm just not … into this right now."
"It's okay. I just thought it would be fun."
"I know. And I can see how excited you are, but …"
"But you're not."
"It's just a little overwhelming."
"No, Abby. It's just furniture."
"Yeah, furniture. And high chairs and playpens and strollers and carseats. And what it I pick out the wrong stuff?"
"What do you mean, 'wrong?' You pick what you like."
"Believe me, if there's a way to pick the wrong thing, I'll find it. What if I don't get the best stroller? Or the safest carseat?"
"They wouldn't sell it here if it wasn't good. If it wasn't safe. And besides, we're just trying to get some ideas about furniture right now. One crib is as good as the next. They all meet the safety standards. So this is the fun part. Where we get to go for form, not function. You don't see anything here that you like? Just something that you think is pretty?"
"Well …" she smiles a bit and leads me back the way we came, to a display close to the door. "This one's really pretty." And that it is. It's what you would call a sleigh crib, I guess. The ends curving out in the shape of … well, a sleigh. It's stained a dark cherry color, a deep red tone with a nice sheen to it. Simple lines making it not too fancy, but the color and shape dressing it up a bit.
"I like this one, too. See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" She shakes her head and smiles almost shyly, tucking her hair behind her ears. "Now we just have to pick out the changing table, the dresser, the rocker, the bedding, the curtains …"
She puts a hand on my chest, "Think we can save that for another day?"
"Sure. Think we should order the crib now?"
"God, you're like a kid waiting for Christmas. No, I think we should just wait. In case we change our minds or something. Besides, where would I put something this beautiful? Next to my ratty old couch? Or shoved in the corner of the bedroom next to the dresser with the broken drawers? Jesus, I don't think I have room for it. Not to mention all this other stuff."
I look at her for a long moment. I want so much to tell her what I'm thinking. That there's plenty of room at my place for this crib, all the other baby stuff, all the toys and books a child could ever want, and most importantly, for Abby and our daughter. There's no need to worry about room in her apartment because she doesn't need it anymore. I want her, I want them, with me. Always. I don't want to stop by and visit my child's life, I want to be her daddy. I want to be there.
"What?" Abby finally asks, putting her hand against my cheek. "You look like you're a million miles away. Don't worry, I'll make room for the baby stuff. She won't have to sleep in the broken dresser drawers."
"I know … I was just thinking …"
"What?"
I study her again for a minute. No, this isn't the time or place. "I was just thinking that we should probably get you to work. I wouldn't want you to be late."
"Oh … work." Abby sticks her tongue out at the thought.
"Well, I tell you what … I'll drop you off now and come back later with another surprise."
"Oh, boy."
"No, I think you'll actually like this one."
"I liked this one. I would have liked a massage better. But other than being assaulted by Ms. Perky and Pink, this was pretty good."
"Uh-huh."
"Really. Look, I'm sorry I don't have as much enthusiasm over this as you do. I'll try to work on that."
"Okay."
"So what's my other surprise?"
"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise."
"Yeah, but I hate surprises."
I shake my head at her. "Well, I'm trying to change your mind about that."
"Good luck," she says lightly, as we head out the door.
"Thanks," I tell her.
But I know I don't need her to wish me luck. I'm already lucky enough. After all, I have her back. We have our baby. What else could I… what else could we need?