First Things first:
R Amythest: Would you PLEAAASSSE send it to me???? Pretty Pretty please??? *pouts* I'll still write you a story ^_^. I was going to email you about it before but you took it off your user profile. Anyway, get in touch with me about it: ladyyamibakura@hotmail.com
Anyway, someone mentioned in a reveiw it's been almost a year since I started this, and it's pretty sad because that's true. Well I hope to have this story done by the end of the month. It's sooo close to being done now. Only *Counts in her head* four chapters (excluding this one) to go and their all planed and two are already written so yay! I can start a new story soon. Well, Here it is, the end of the cliffy. Bakura's back! What will happen! My grammar should be better in this because my roommate beta read it for me.
Yami B: MWAHAHA! I'm baaaaaaack....
Ryou: ^^! Yami!!!!
Malik: Ahhh shit... now I'm screwed...
Yami B: ?? Why is that?
Ryou: Well because...
Malik: *glomps Ryou, putting a hand over his mouth* ^^ nothing! Nothing at all!
Yami B: _! GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY HIKARI!!!
Malik: Ep! *runs with Bakura hot on his heels*
Yami B: GET BACK HERE!!!
Everyone else: O_o u.....
Ryou: That's not a good omen is it?
LYB: Ummmm.... no...
Cyris: Anyway... on with the story....
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Hidden Truths
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"Hikari..." the voice says in a dark teasing tone. "Have you missed me?"
I turn about, the huge smile spreading across my face to see the dark figure standing on the crest of a small hill, head down looking at me casually, smiling mysteriously, white hair whipping out on the wind. The image of some demon all the Earth fears but hell wants no part of. As all beginnings have ends so do all ends have beginnings, the dark that completed my light, an end and opposite as well as an exact copy. A balance that only he can provide and as reckless as it sounds, I love the storm he creates. I'm really not all that naive as people think of me sometimes. His presence casts finally cooling shadows through the skies. Evil, dark and undeniably charming. I've missed him so much! "Yami!!" I cry running towards him and he opens his arms just in time for me to dive into them, burying my face in surprisingly soft hair as he hugs me. "Of course I missed you, you baka!" I say, playfully striking his shoulder as I step back. He grins at me, showing abnormally sharp canines before grabbing me around the waist and lifting me up affectionately.
"Hikari! My Ryou... It's never been better to be back. Do you know how much I've missed these green fields that live in your mind? I've gotten so Ra damn SICK of the grey rocks, storms and black sand in my dream world I could scream."
I laugh at his affection "Yeah I was thinking I was going to get sunburn in these dreams if your clouds didn't come back soon!"
He seemed amused by the remark and pushed back my wild hair to admire my face "Can we get out of our dream world and relocate someplace a little less strange? You have the most ridicules dreams. I don't want to be talking to you and getting interrupted by another falcon god." I just giggle and shake my head.
"My room or yours?"
"Mine!" He says exasperated, rolling his eyes as if I'm a perfect idiot for thinking otherwise. "I haven't been home for a month and a half and you're going to make me go to YOUR room? I want my own bed thank you!"
Ever the egotist. I roll my eyes at him but close my eyes and will myself to wake up. Though instead of sitting up in bed I find us standing in a rather simple hallway and I was being dragged, in the harsh but harmless way only my yami could, to the door blazed with the eye of Anubis. He pushed me inside his room but paused before shutting the door, looking at me in slight annoyance, which I knew from many years of dealing with my darker was actually a bit of mercy.
"It's okay, yami. I don't mind." he shrugs and slams the door. I chuckle in spite of myself "It's not like you'd try anything anyway." He furrows his brow at me and grumbles something under his breath, but I can only laugh at his irritation. I'm just happy to have him back. "Why are you home so early? Aren't you supposed to be out in Egypt till January?"
"We were." He replied, walking across the room to sit on what he calls a bed. To me it just looks like a pile of huge silk pillows but he sprawls across it anyway. "Oh Ra did I miss my own bed! I don't know how Isis could call those flat things we slept on beds!"
"This IS the modern world, yami." I smile, plopping down beside him. Okay, I'll admit it, his bed is comfortable. Nice and fluffy, the kind you sink in. "We sleep on those a lot now a days."
"Yeah but at least YOURs at home is comfy. That museum-sponsored hotel thing Isis made me sleep on was like a fucking rock." He grabs one of the smaller pillows and swings at me, striking me on my shoulder and I laugh, knowing he means well, he could hit me a hell of a lot harder if he wanted too. So I grab a pillow and start hitting back. He growls and tackles me, tickling my sides and I finally have to give. That's my weak spot.
"You still didn't tell me why you're here so early." I say through my laughter and he smiles, easing his playful assault.
"I missed you." he says sarcastically, rolling his eyes and folding his arms on my chest. I whacked him with the pillow again.
"Not funny!"
He laughs and starts hugging me tightly again. I cough, man he can squeeze hard, then again I think that's his point, just to be annoying. He has a habit of trying to push everyone's buttons, though it's only rarely he succeeds with me. "Aww hikari, you know better!!" he says in a childish mocking tone. I laugh again, I know he missed me despite his sarcasm. Dark and light never do well apart. "But as too why I'm here..." he let me go and crashed back down into the pillows, falling back more into his typical serious, haunting, nature and tone of voice. "I found out pretty much everything she could offer me. As I said on the phone last time we talked we were heading for the site at Kuru Eruna after I told her where to find it. I'm surprised miss I'm-the-tomb-keeper didn't know where to look. You'd think knowing the scriptures she could find a blasted capsule." I nod, I remember. He wasn't exactly sure what to make of going back to Kuru Eruna, wither to be excited or frightened. It wasn't the fondest place in his memories, but he was curious none the less. Besides it was the final resting place of many things. The items, his family, his friends, then finally himself and the pharaoh. "When we got there, I nearly died from shock. I don't know what I expected to see. But... I don't know... it was just barren. There was nothing left, nothing! But some broken pottery... and the temple..." he hesitates and I see color slide away from his face though his expression remains unchanged, so I reach out and touch him, breaking his thoughts. Trauma. Never EVER mention the Kuru Eruna Temple of Memory to him... or let him think on it for a long time... he'd probably get violent. He has before (which Yugi has certainly found out the hard way). He shakes his head, continuing. "Then Isis got this phone call and she said the museum wanted her to come home soon as possible, but we could stay with the team for longer if I wanted. I was more then willing to leave and she seemed agitated anyway."
Well. That's unusual. Isis agitated and calling off an expedition early? I shrug it off. "So where's Isis now?"
"On her way. I left her at the Cairo airport. No sense in getting two tickets, so after I made sure she took care of my luggage, I came back to the ring and here I am!"
"You left her in Cairo somewhere? To watch YOUR things?" I said, showing something of annoyance.
"What? After a month I was sick of her and she was sick of me. That bitch can get on your nerves. She'll be up here sometime tomorrow anyway to see her brother. I promise to stay hidden till then if THAT'S your problem."
I blinked at the mention of Malik. In all my joy, and in light of my odd dream, I forgot about my burning questions. "Hey Yami?" I say, looking down at him. His eyes are closed, arms crossed behind his head, lips flat lined. He's content and peaceful, which I think is from finally being home and able to have some comfort.
He opens one sharp brown eye. "Yes?" he replies, trying to sound annoyed that I interrupted his nap, but something in the link between us tells me he's missed our conversations and has been waiting for me to talk to him.
"I need your advice."
He rolls over and looks at me, now perked up, looking at me with dark eagerness. He's always interested in the gossip of the group, about Yami in particular and about my life, though there's not much he misses save when he's outside my body. He never asks about Malik, 'cept where he happens to be but I know that's because they spend a lot of time in each others company. Always running around together... I think it's their main source of entertainment or something. Hardly two days go by when Malik doesn't show up at the door looking for him or Bakura goes off to find him. Not that I'm complaining or anything because with this crush I had developed after Battle City seeing him would put my heart in school-girl flutters. It had pretty much become so common place it was like a part of me, I could ignore it easier when I thought of it that way. But... it felt different now, not jittery... this was becoming heart stopping. Bakura was bound to know something, they were always together. That's another thing to wonder about while I have my yami's attention. "What about, Host?" he smirks.
I roll my eyes at the nickname made to annoy me. "Are you... *with* anyone right now?"
He raises a brow. "Like who?"
I bite my lip slightly, I really don't want to say it aloud... saying it makes it real. "Like Malik?"
His face goes blank and he stares at me, and I stare back.
He blinks slowly...
Raises a brow...
His face cracks and he starts laughing hysterically, rolling over on his back, arms clutching his stomach. "Me?? With Malik??" I glare in annoyance at his reaction as he wipes tears from his eyes "Oh Hathor!! That's rich!"
"No need to make such a fuss." I scowl at him. He rolls over and props his head up on his elbows.
"I'm sorry, abiou. It's just an idiotic question. I don't have anything against him, I just don't think I could sleep with him without killing him."
"Does everything with you come back to sex?"
"Pretty much." he replies with a lecherous grin and I whap his head again, but he still grins. "What? It's true. The guy would drive me up the fucking wall. I like our plotting mass destruction on drinking binges to much to give up for flowers and chocolate. Besides, Malik is not the kind you date. He's the kind you sit down with to watch TV and make fun of how inane the world is. Or drink with on Saturday nights... or weekday nights..." He pauses "any night..."
I give him the most total confused face I can manage. I'll forgive him for his love of alcohol for now, I remind myself to chastise him later. First questions first. "Flowers and chocolate?"
He shrugs "Okay, maybe that's a bit extreme for Malik, but it's partially true. They guy loves to be loved. As long as he knows that, everything is good. But he has this major defect that makes him avoid any type of relationship unless he's absolutely positive he has their undivided loyalty. Probably why he had himself all of Ghouls but couldn't tell you any of their names if his life depended on it. He won't bother unless he knows they can be trusted. So as a result, he walks around most of the time as a serious flirt but lonely as hell. He's seriously screwed up. I'm pretty sure the guy is fucking bi-polar or something. Why did you even ask in the first place?"
I duck my head a bit in light of his rant, resting it on my hand. "I was curious. He said he was single, but I wasn't sure. Or..."I pause "What he goes for."
He lay back and closed his eyes "Trust me," he says in a pointed, obvious tone "He's single, and he'll be that way a fucking long time. And he which way he swings depends on the person. Some guys he likes, some women he likes, kinda like you. Either is good, long as you like the person..." he grins at me "like picking your dates from a salad bar."
"Your bi to you moron!" I shoot back his burn, but he shrugs.
"True." He folds his arms behind his head "I still don't see why it matters at all. It's not the type of question that would keep you up at night. So? He likes guys the same as you, the same as me. Why do you even want to know about..." he trails off quickly, opening his eyes.
"Oh." is all he says after a moment and looks at me as if to say well-this-is-unexpected. I close my eyes and shrug. "Are you serious?"
"Am I ever anything but?" I reply, waiting for his reaction to come. I think he's in shock. I didn't exactly expect him to take it well by any stretch.
"You have your moments." he answers, staring at the ceiling, then he closes his eyes. "So..." he says, seeming to formulate his thoughts so he wouldn't say anything that could be painful. I know this is probably a bad sign if he's trying not to say something wrong. "You want to know what I think?"
I nod, then it occurs to me his eyes are closed so I just answer a brief "Yes."
His lips twitch and he again gathers his thoughts a moment. "Stay the hell away from him. Understand? Hikari, you'll be wasting your time. He'll never stay with you. He simply doesn't have it in him. He gets bored easily." I feel my heart start to sink and I pull up my knees, crossing my arms around them. "You heard what I said earlier, he's fucked up. I know he's looking for someone, but trust me it won't be you. Your to... unpretentious... for someone who lives as fast a life as Malik."
I don't know why but suddenly I feel used. He took care of me! He kissed me, damn it!
He stood in a circle with me.
Why not me?
"Well, why not!" I cry, sounding frustrated and I feel my yami roll over as I turn my head to glare at nothing.
"Hikari..." he says soothingly, I think he feels bad about upsetting me and yes, I am upset... I just feel so clueless for even thinking I stood a chance. Why did I even let things go this far? What the hell is wrong with me? "It's not that it wouldn't work or anything... hell, I think you'd probably be good for him. It might teach him something about what it's like to be loved, he could use that. But... Malik is a haunted person. He's not under his own freewill. He lives in a past his mind won't let him free of. He forbids himself from getting attached to things. It makes him fickle and wild. What he needs is someone who can make him slow down so he doesn't run himself into the ground. I do a pretty good job of that. We keep each other in line because we can keep up with each other. I keep him from getting to bitter, he keeps me from getting depressed. It's a good system. He'd need someone to make him slow down once in awhile. Do you really think you could handle someone like that, Ryou? Someone who goes day to day like there's no limit to anything? With your inexperience and deep emotions? He'd break your heart with the way he acts and I'll bet you he knows that. What he needs is someone who can make him forget what haunts him, Not someone who always reminds him of it."
I look at him, confused. "How do I remind him of it?" I blink, suddenly he seems shocked and at a loss for words. I stair at him a moment and it's almost like watching a turtle retreat into its shell. This isn't normal, my yami never looks guilty unless he's done something to hurt me. He hates having his keeper harmed ever since I got hurt badly during Battle City. "Yami? What are you not telling me?"
"You remember the last big tournament don't you?" he says, though the way he says it tells me he already knows the answer.
"Pieces." I admit. "I remember a few things." I remember being in the aquacenter, then there is a blur and I recall feeling horrible ill and my arm ached. I fainted into someone's arms. Malik's arms. He took care of me, wrapped my arm, talked to me gently, tried his best to sooth me and get me to walk, but I didn't know who he was and I didn't fully trust him or was aware of his intentions. I remember seeing Joey, and Tea... I think... oh and Mr. Mouto. Mr. Mouto took me to the hospital and I passed out from pain and fright just before they took me in. I hate hospitals.
I had nightmares... horrible nightmares... I dreamed of falling through space and I saw all my sisters favorite toys lying scattered and broken... they were so simple and they terrified me... then they all ended. I was sick and dizzy, I just wanted everything to stop and sleep peacefully, somewhere in that blur I think I dreamed a god appear to me. He said I would be okay and he held me gently, he was soothing and comforting, making me walk somewhere and I found myself locked in my soul room. Not like I cared if my yami took over. I was frankly to tired to care. I just slept.
Next thing I recall is being thrown out of my soul room into the freezing cold, wind beating at me. Confused, frightened, I collapsed. I sobbed for help, only one person came to me. My darker. I felt him. Strong arms grabbed hold of me and shoved me back, I gazed at him in thankful reproach as he stood and took the blow for me. Then everything was black. He was there with me, it was the first time he'd ever made any real indication of concern for me. (Though when I went searching for the Ring at Duelist Kingdom he was overjoyed to have me back.) For a brief moment he let me cry in his arms and he kept telling me he'd let nothing happen, it was his fault... I don't remember much, save he gave a cry and I wailed as he was ripped away from me. My ring was gone. I was left in my soul room, alone and in pain and I cried pitifully, what else could I do? Then I started to have dreams again. I can't really recall it, but I remember vaguely what happened.
"Your not the Tomb Robbers Spirit." the figure said. I wiped my eyes.
"He's gone." I replied, "Gone..."
"Oh." he paused, seeming to turn this over in his mind "The spirit must still be sleeping in the ring. Pardon me, I'm in the wrong part of your mind."
"Don't leave." I said abruptly. He stopped. "I don't want to be alone here. The dreams will come back."
He looked at me, I think he looked confused, I can't recall his face but he stood in front of me, looking down stoically, hand on his hip. "Why do you cry so? Shouldn't you be happy the spirit is gone? You'd have your life back."
"That's not the point." I sobbed "He's a part of me, my past. I keep him alive. When I'm hurt, he's the strong one who takes the pain away. He lives when I can't and he's not here..." I clutched my arm, even in my mind it still ached. "The pain is back."
"I don't understand."
"What's to understand?!"
"I have a spirit, but it has no past. Only my own faults to fuel him. It's troublesome and he used me the same way yours uses you."
"That's not true." I shook my head. "There are reasons... he just hasn't told them to me... I used to hate him for being so cold... but sometimes I feel it from him. This misery, hatred." That was true... at that time I knew nothing about Kuru Eruna and the pharaohs curse, I only learned that after we all managed to get into Yami's memory world.
"Misery and hatred seem to drive a lot of things now a days." The figure said, then paused, seeing this was going now where and I was still trembling.
"I don't want to be alone right now." I had sobbed. I didn't care if I was crying, it was my dream damn it. He sat down beside me looking uncomfortable and uneasily reached out to put a hand on my shoulder. He was new to the comforting thing I suppose. I don't know why, but I could feel things from him, pain, misery, anger... almost the same way I could feel my yami's presence inside me. I liked him for whatever reason, I sympathized with all the things I felt radiating from him. We just sat there in silence for a long time, enjoying each others company. Though every now and then my arm would ache, causing new tears. I was thankful for the hesitant way he would rub my shoulder when I started to cry again.
"Please stop crying. You're making me feel guilty."
"I can't help it!" I snapped. "You'd cry too if you hurt this bad!" He was taken back, then quiet for a moment before he moved in front of me and passed his hand in front of my eyes. Then I felt totally numb.
"This mind is mine." I heard him say "I am in control here. There shall be nothing. You will feel this pain no longer. I command it." I blinked. No pain. I looked at my arm and in my own mind it was healed. It sounds funny now, but after that, even when I was in my body the cut never hurt as bad.
"Hey!" I called as he stood up and turned. "Who are you? Why did you help me?"
"Because healing is probably the one thing I'm good at anymore." he replied in a softer tone, and I blinked... I could feel his pain, a pure continuing pain... like a wound that always bled. "There's a little piece of my soul with you, that's how I did it. That's why you can feel me. But I promise... soon I'll severe my ties with you and your spirit. He doesn't welcome my presence here any longer, I believe. He cares for you to much to subject you to my trails."
"What?" I said, more then lost with his statement about my yami disliking him.
"If it's any consolation, I never would have let the pharaoh harm you. I knew he wouldn't touch you. Very soon, I will return the spirit to you, you won't have to worry."
I smiled a bit "Thank you. At least tell me who you are. Why do I think I know you?"
"My name is not important, nor is that history. In 12 hours it doesn't matter anyway. I'll cease to be. Once my body is dead and I severe my tie with you, my spirit will have no where to go."
I blinked. For a second that made no sense then I realized he was out of his own body and if his body died and he stopped borrowing mine, his soul would drift away. He'd be dead. "You'll die?"
"Yes. It's not like I wasn't planning on ending it soon anyway. Free my family, then my purpose is complete. The world doesn't need a Pharaoh in this day and age." he sounded so bitter.
"How can you give up like that?" I gasped, "How can you be suicidal? Everyone has something to go on for."
"Not me." he replied coldly, there was nothing to the statement. It wasn't bitter, or sad. He said it like a fact. The same way someone would say the answer to 1 plus 1 is 2. Heartless. Like ice. I scrambled to my feet, running for him and grabbing his arm.
"Well, let me help." I said, offering him a sincere smile. He blinked at me confused. "Don't give up yet. I'm sure there is a reason for you, you just have to find it. I'll help you look."
"You'd... help me." he repeated as if I told him cows were indeed purple.
"Sure." I smiled, "You helped me. And you're going to bring my spirit back. You stayed with me. There has to be something you love." He still looked totally lost. "Why are you so shocked?"
"I don't remember anyone ever *offering* their help to me. At least offering it without me bargaining for it."
"So I'm the first, big deal. I'm sure there'll be others."
"I have no others to turn too. My only living family now is my sister... whom I don't speak with."
"I have a sister too." I paused, "Used too. I don't get to talk to her either..." he didn't respond. "I've got some friends. Their really good people, they include me even though they know my spirit has done some pretty awful things."
"So what happens when you can't put the blame totally on a spirit? I don't know..."
"You've just been misunderstood." He jerked his arm away from me.
"Enough!" I stepped back in shock at his rather violent outburst. "I want no more lies! No more lies!! Everyone has lied to me! My father, my sister, my big brother!! My spirit!! NO MORE LIES!" I winced as he shook his head furiously as if to try to stop the tears and threatened to come. He rubbed his eyes harshly on the back of his arm, stopping them before they started. I started to say something and I reached out to take his arm but he ran. "Stay away from me! Everyone who comes in contact with me ends up hurt! Or dead! I've made you suffer enough!"
"Suffer?" I asked, shaking my head, wondering what he meant, but he was already gone. The product of my pain induced delirium.
I come out of my flashback-daydream-thing and look at my yami, he seems lost in his own thoughts. "Why do you ask about that, Yami?"
"Whenever Malik thinks of you, that will be what he sees." he replied softly.
"See what?" I said, getting a bit exasperated at all his cryptic riddles. My darker has a tendency to drift into states where he will only talk in riddles. Isn't that called borderline personality disorder or something? He reaches out and gently brushes away the hem of my t-shirt sleeve to show the long, thin, deep scar on the upper part of my arm.
"He'll see you. Bleeding. Crying. Begging all alone for someone to help you." the distant look on his face as he looks at my arm unnerves me and I look at the scar, realizing I had no memory of how it really got there. Someone said I was mugged. I never really questioned it.
"Where did this come from?" I ask softly. "Tell me what he's afraid of."
My yami sighs a bit and lies down on his back again, folding his arms behind his head. "When I met Malik," he starts softly. "We made a pact. He promised me the Millennium Rod for my help in getting the God Cards. We needed a way to get into the finals and made the both of us look good. He proposed his idea and I agreed, so I made a promise to him."
"A promise?"
"A promise in blood." he adds. I furrow my brow, watching him. He keeps his eyes closed. He does that a lot when he's in thought, or he doesn't want to face someone. "A blood promise I would give him what he wanted, but it didn't turn out quite right. Ryou..." he pauses and opens his eyes, looking at me solemnly "I was the one who cut your arm.... I was the one who made you bleed... then left you to let your body suffer."
Confusion hits me in a solid wave, so many things come crashing down around and I can't make sense of any one of them. Like my whole world had stopped turning. Bakura? My darker? Was the one who cut me? Nearly KILLED me? "And he stood there and watched." he continues "Stood there and watched with ice in his eyes and fire in his heart. He watched me bleed and throw the knife into the pool. Then watched as I slipped away and let you faint..." I don't respond... how the hell can I respond? I don't know...
"Ryou?"
"....
....
Yes?"
"There's more." I sigh, just perfect. I don't want to hear anymore. I don't want to believe it. "On the ship... you remember waking in that battle don't you?"
"I think so. I thought I could have dreamed it, only you came."
"That was Malik too." I shake my head in confusion, to much information to fast, like I'm trying to play catch up to a part of my life I missed. And he's not explaining it in a way I can understand without stressing myself.
"Malik?"
"It was his idea... to switch minds with you. Icy eyed and temper flaming. Malik's plan... so Yami wouldn't attack." I don't answer. Just stare at nothing. Something painful turns over inside of me. Like I'm been used, been betrayed. The two of them did it..."I'm sorry."
I look at him and he turns his head. He must hate looking people in the eye unless he's trying to frighten them. "You redeemed it. You stepped in and pushed me back, saved me from Osiris, despite him."
"I'm still sorry... " he rubs his eyes. I have nothing to say to him at the moment. I have nothing to say to either of them. Oh I'm angry now. I have the sudden urge to strangle that beautiful blonde Egyptian... but I don't think I could... something in the way he acts... I don't know... was he sorry too? The God who regrets nothing? "Hikari?"
"What?" I reply a bit to sharply. I don't even know why...
"Are you mad at me?"
I chew on my lip thoughtfully. I'm mad, yes.
Oh bloody Hell I'm mad!!
I'm fucking furious!!
Yes I do swear when I'm angry... but I'm not even sure what I'm angry at. Bakura? No, I feel more sympathy for him then anything. After all, he did come to my rescue. He stepped up and saved me when no one else would, he swore on everything he was sorry that night when he held before, before he was pulled away. And I believe him. No, I'm not angry at Bakura. Malik? Maybe... "No, I'm not mad at you."
"Are you mad at him?" I know exactly who he's talking about, but I don't answer. I don't know. "Don't be mad at him, Ryou. It's not really his fault. Believe that much. Have nothing else to do with him, but at least give him that much."
"Oh?" I snap. "Then *kindly* explain to me who's fault it is??" No, not exactly mad at Malik... mostly angry at myself for falling so hard for him that I couldn't be angry with him.
He shrugs. I never could intimidate him. He just stares up at the ceiling. "The darkness in him... that anger... it drove him." he says slowly, almost contemplative. "Fire. That's what he had. Unstoppable fire. All he wanted was to be free. He had no interest in the items, only in getting free of his family and making sure his family would suffer for the pharaoh no longer. As long as he wasn't alone... he had hope, faint hope, that someday he would be happy." I listen intently, my emotions seemed to go on pause for awhile. A new outlook to take into view. "But he lost us in that first battle. There was nothing I could do for him at the moment and I was divided from you. He didn't even know who you were at the time. Keep in mind he never really met you till after Battle City."
I blink. I had forgotten that. I was a stranger to Malik. He didn't know me, he knew my yami. He didn't care because he didn't know me. "When Rishid fell... that hope vanished. He had no one. Not Isis, not me, not Rishid. Without hope, his darkness took over. And when he realized the mistake he made... that it had been his spirit all along, Malik had no reason to hate the Pharaoh anymore... there was nothing to fuel the anger, the only thing that keep him going, he had nothing to live for. His fire went out. So now all that's left is ice. Bitterness. He's cold and distant with nothing to keep him moving. Each day is meaningless and some days I know he doesn't even want to get up. He doesn't sleep, he just lays there and thinks. Without that fire to justify what he's done, he's guilty. And he lives silently with that pain. No one is blaming him for what happened, after all it was the darker spirit that had that influence over him, but he still feels the remorse. Ra only knows why.
"He's lonely. He won't say it, but I can feel it sometimes, when he talks about what he wishes he could change. He's grateful for being embraced by you all but he doesn't want to be exceedingly close to them. That guilt is still there, haunting him in everything they do. And you are the biggest part of it. You took the most punishment for his ambition and he knows it. He has mentioned that to me before." His sharp eyes lock on mine and I know every word is true. Just something in the way he's not afraid to say it to my face. "You, hikari, are his constant reminder he's alone."
"But he's not alone." I say softly. "He has you. He has me."
Bakura laughs a slight bit, more to humor me then anything. "He doesn't see it that way."
I smile slightly "I should show him then."
My darker shakes his head. "Ryou, you wanted my advice, damn it, and here it is. Stay away from him. Unless by some act of Ra, that ice starts to melt, you don't have a chance. You'll only end up hurting the both of you. He can't handle you and you can't handle him."
I sigh in defeat. I suppose that's that then... I heard what I wanted to hear... then why do I feel so distinctly empty? "Do you even think that ice will go away?" I say idly, plucking at one of the pillows.
"I don't know." he admits. "His eyes never cease of amaze me. How cold and stormy they are. For once... I think I would like to see the ice melt."
I think a minute. I think I'm forgetting something. Something important about his eyes. What was it? "So you can see what they look like underneath?"
"I suppose so. There's so much built up and frozen. I wonder where it will go to when it melts."
I tipped my head. "You want to see him cry." I say, catching on to his hidden play on words. I don't think he even realized his metaphor because he looks contemplative at my words. My darker has a habit of talking in symbols.
"Yes." he nods, and closes his eyes. His voice drops off distantly. "The day Malik Ishtar cries is the day you know there's no more ice left."
I smile, just watching him... I can feel exhaustion. Mental stress is heavy on him now. It's something between excitement and anxiety. I suppose it feels similar to stage fright. That weird butterflies in your stomach feeling. Our talk about Malik made it worst, but it had been there before as well. "'Kura?"
"Hmm...?" He's half-asleep now.
"What did you learn in Egypt that has you anxious."
"None of your business." He says calmly, making it clear he wasn't about to pursue the issue in light of the fact sleep seemed like a better idea.
"Is it something about Kuru Eruna?" I say as gently as I can. I know he's touchy about the subject. Maybe seeing the village is what has him worked up.
"No, not really." he answers.
"Then what is it?"
He grumbles incoherently, pressing his eyes more firmly closed. "I'll figure it out in the morning." He says bluntly and I raise a brow. "I'm not sure what I feel right now, and I need to talk to someone first."
I smirk teasingly, "Yami?"
He opens his eyes briefly to glare at me. "Yes, the Pharaoh." he spits as if the name were poison, giving the distinct impression that although my guess was right it had nothing to do with what my teasing implied.
"Just don't hurt him okay?" I ask, leaning on my elbows to look down at him.
"Whatever." he answers. I get the distinct impression he's to tired to even figure out what he's planning on doing... but violence is certainly an opinion when he uses that tone... besides the day Bakura ever plans anything in advance will be the day the apocalypse comes. Usually his ideas occur in brief moments of evanescence and their normally either ingenious or blatantly stupid. I smile and grab one of his blankets, covering him up. He blinks and yawns, realizing he almost fell asleep.
"G-night, yami." I say, getting up. He pulls the blankets up around his neck and yawns again. I'd stay a bit longer, only I know he hates sharing any type of a room with someone when he sleeps. I think it's thieves instinct to sleep where your hidden so no one can kill you or something like that. I wonder how Isis handled that. No doubt it was one of the first temper tantrums he threw. I watch him close his eyes again before walking for the door.
"Ryou?"
I pause. "Yeah?"
"I..." he trails off and I catch the agitation in his emotions. "It's good to be home with you."
I smile, knowing what he really meant to say. Although he couldn't say it, I could feel it. Maybe my mention of what I feel for Malik threw him off. I turn to look at him as he watches me. "It's okay, yami. I love you too." He smiles. Satisfied with this.
"I just want to look out for you. I care about you and don't want to see you in a mess. You're like my little brother. I didn't mean to upset you." He closes his eyes again. I feel a bit sad for him... I wonder if he had a brother... or a sister... maybe many brothers and sisters... I wonder if he had a sister like Amane. I know he loved his family. I can understand why his heart is so black.
"It's okay Ba-Kuru'runa." I say, using his full name to show affection. He smiles hearing the name. I think it's a comfort to him. Reminds him he has purpose. Sometimes I wonder what his given name was. But in Egypt only a child's mother and the child know the child's real name. I wonder if he even remembers, or if the title "Soul/Savior of Kuru Eruna" is the only name he can remember. Someday I'll ask him, but I'll leave it for now. "Sleep well."
"You too, Ryou."
I smile at his words then turn to the door. I put my hand on the heavy latch then blink finding myself in bed.
**********************************************************
Okay, for those who have not yet had the privilege of hearing the REAL story of Bakura's past through the grape vine... yes, he does have a good gripe with Yami over his family and yes the temple has something to do with it and yes his name is "Savior of Kuru Eruna" however self-given it is. Want to know the whole story? I will reveal it soon in a later chapter, O_o I guess I just like giving story spoilers. Oh well *sighs*
Malik: This doesn't look good for me...
Ryou: O_O ...... _ ! You were the one who cut my arm and wanted Osiris to kill me!!!!!
Malik: ^^ U ummmm... yeah... about that... there was good reason?
Yami B: Well at least I told him the truth! You were to chicken shit!
Malik: _ HEY!!!
Yami B: Well YOU weren't going to deal with the problem. He knows now.
Malik: But he'll hate me!!!!
Ryou: *glares at them both*
Yami B and Malik: O_O
LYB: Um yeah any way... so how will Ryou now react to Malik??
Cyris: R&R everyone.....
R Amythest: Would you PLEAAASSSE send it to me???? Pretty Pretty please??? *pouts* I'll still write you a story ^_^. I was going to email you about it before but you took it off your user profile. Anyway, get in touch with me about it: ladyyamibakura@hotmail.com
Anyway, someone mentioned in a reveiw it's been almost a year since I started this, and it's pretty sad because that's true. Well I hope to have this story done by the end of the month. It's sooo close to being done now. Only *Counts in her head* four chapters (excluding this one) to go and their all planed and two are already written so yay! I can start a new story soon. Well, Here it is, the end of the cliffy. Bakura's back! What will happen! My grammar should be better in this because my roommate beta read it for me.
Yami B: MWAHAHA! I'm baaaaaaack....
Ryou: ^^! Yami!!!!
Malik: Ahhh shit... now I'm screwed...
Yami B: ?? Why is that?
Ryou: Well because...
Malik: *glomps Ryou, putting a hand over his mouth* ^^ nothing! Nothing at all!
Yami B: _! GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY HIKARI!!!
Malik: Ep! *runs with Bakura hot on his heels*
Yami B: GET BACK HERE!!!
Everyone else: O_o u.....
Ryou: That's not a good omen is it?
LYB: Ummmm.... no...
Cyris: Anyway... on with the story....
*******************************************************
Hidden Truths
*******************************************************
"Hikari..." the voice says in a dark teasing tone. "Have you missed me?"
I turn about, the huge smile spreading across my face to see the dark figure standing on the crest of a small hill, head down looking at me casually, smiling mysteriously, white hair whipping out on the wind. The image of some demon all the Earth fears but hell wants no part of. As all beginnings have ends so do all ends have beginnings, the dark that completed my light, an end and opposite as well as an exact copy. A balance that only he can provide and as reckless as it sounds, I love the storm he creates. I'm really not all that naive as people think of me sometimes. His presence casts finally cooling shadows through the skies. Evil, dark and undeniably charming. I've missed him so much! "Yami!!" I cry running towards him and he opens his arms just in time for me to dive into them, burying my face in surprisingly soft hair as he hugs me. "Of course I missed you, you baka!" I say, playfully striking his shoulder as I step back. He grins at me, showing abnormally sharp canines before grabbing me around the waist and lifting me up affectionately.
"Hikari! My Ryou... It's never been better to be back. Do you know how much I've missed these green fields that live in your mind? I've gotten so Ra damn SICK of the grey rocks, storms and black sand in my dream world I could scream."
I laugh at his affection "Yeah I was thinking I was going to get sunburn in these dreams if your clouds didn't come back soon!"
He seemed amused by the remark and pushed back my wild hair to admire my face "Can we get out of our dream world and relocate someplace a little less strange? You have the most ridicules dreams. I don't want to be talking to you and getting interrupted by another falcon god." I just giggle and shake my head.
"My room or yours?"
"Mine!" He says exasperated, rolling his eyes as if I'm a perfect idiot for thinking otherwise. "I haven't been home for a month and a half and you're going to make me go to YOUR room? I want my own bed thank you!"
Ever the egotist. I roll my eyes at him but close my eyes and will myself to wake up. Though instead of sitting up in bed I find us standing in a rather simple hallway and I was being dragged, in the harsh but harmless way only my yami could, to the door blazed with the eye of Anubis. He pushed me inside his room but paused before shutting the door, looking at me in slight annoyance, which I knew from many years of dealing with my darker was actually a bit of mercy.
"It's okay, yami. I don't mind." he shrugs and slams the door. I chuckle in spite of myself "It's not like you'd try anything anyway." He furrows his brow at me and grumbles something under his breath, but I can only laugh at his irritation. I'm just happy to have him back. "Why are you home so early? Aren't you supposed to be out in Egypt till January?"
"We were." He replied, walking across the room to sit on what he calls a bed. To me it just looks like a pile of huge silk pillows but he sprawls across it anyway. "Oh Ra did I miss my own bed! I don't know how Isis could call those flat things we slept on beds!"
"This IS the modern world, yami." I smile, plopping down beside him. Okay, I'll admit it, his bed is comfortable. Nice and fluffy, the kind you sink in. "We sleep on those a lot now a days."
"Yeah but at least YOURs at home is comfy. That museum-sponsored hotel thing Isis made me sleep on was like a fucking rock." He grabs one of the smaller pillows and swings at me, striking me on my shoulder and I laugh, knowing he means well, he could hit me a hell of a lot harder if he wanted too. So I grab a pillow and start hitting back. He growls and tackles me, tickling my sides and I finally have to give. That's my weak spot.
"You still didn't tell me why you're here so early." I say through my laughter and he smiles, easing his playful assault.
"I missed you." he says sarcastically, rolling his eyes and folding his arms on my chest. I whacked him with the pillow again.
"Not funny!"
He laughs and starts hugging me tightly again. I cough, man he can squeeze hard, then again I think that's his point, just to be annoying. He has a habit of trying to push everyone's buttons, though it's only rarely he succeeds with me. "Aww hikari, you know better!!" he says in a childish mocking tone. I laugh again, I know he missed me despite his sarcasm. Dark and light never do well apart. "But as too why I'm here..." he let me go and crashed back down into the pillows, falling back more into his typical serious, haunting, nature and tone of voice. "I found out pretty much everything she could offer me. As I said on the phone last time we talked we were heading for the site at Kuru Eruna after I told her where to find it. I'm surprised miss I'm-the-tomb-keeper didn't know where to look. You'd think knowing the scriptures she could find a blasted capsule." I nod, I remember. He wasn't exactly sure what to make of going back to Kuru Eruna, wither to be excited or frightened. It wasn't the fondest place in his memories, but he was curious none the less. Besides it was the final resting place of many things. The items, his family, his friends, then finally himself and the pharaoh. "When we got there, I nearly died from shock. I don't know what I expected to see. But... I don't know... it was just barren. There was nothing left, nothing! But some broken pottery... and the temple..." he hesitates and I see color slide away from his face though his expression remains unchanged, so I reach out and touch him, breaking his thoughts. Trauma. Never EVER mention the Kuru Eruna Temple of Memory to him... or let him think on it for a long time... he'd probably get violent. He has before (which Yugi has certainly found out the hard way). He shakes his head, continuing. "Then Isis got this phone call and she said the museum wanted her to come home soon as possible, but we could stay with the team for longer if I wanted. I was more then willing to leave and she seemed agitated anyway."
Well. That's unusual. Isis agitated and calling off an expedition early? I shrug it off. "So where's Isis now?"
"On her way. I left her at the Cairo airport. No sense in getting two tickets, so after I made sure she took care of my luggage, I came back to the ring and here I am!"
"You left her in Cairo somewhere? To watch YOUR things?" I said, showing something of annoyance.
"What? After a month I was sick of her and she was sick of me. That bitch can get on your nerves. She'll be up here sometime tomorrow anyway to see her brother. I promise to stay hidden till then if THAT'S your problem."
I blinked at the mention of Malik. In all my joy, and in light of my odd dream, I forgot about my burning questions. "Hey Yami?" I say, looking down at him. His eyes are closed, arms crossed behind his head, lips flat lined. He's content and peaceful, which I think is from finally being home and able to have some comfort.
He opens one sharp brown eye. "Yes?" he replies, trying to sound annoyed that I interrupted his nap, but something in the link between us tells me he's missed our conversations and has been waiting for me to talk to him.
"I need your advice."
He rolls over and looks at me, now perked up, looking at me with dark eagerness. He's always interested in the gossip of the group, about Yami in particular and about my life, though there's not much he misses save when he's outside my body. He never asks about Malik, 'cept where he happens to be but I know that's because they spend a lot of time in each others company. Always running around together... I think it's their main source of entertainment or something. Hardly two days go by when Malik doesn't show up at the door looking for him or Bakura goes off to find him. Not that I'm complaining or anything because with this crush I had developed after Battle City seeing him would put my heart in school-girl flutters. It had pretty much become so common place it was like a part of me, I could ignore it easier when I thought of it that way. But... it felt different now, not jittery... this was becoming heart stopping. Bakura was bound to know something, they were always together. That's another thing to wonder about while I have my yami's attention. "What about, Host?" he smirks.
I roll my eyes at the nickname made to annoy me. "Are you... *with* anyone right now?"
He raises a brow. "Like who?"
I bite my lip slightly, I really don't want to say it aloud... saying it makes it real. "Like Malik?"
His face goes blank and he stares at me, and I stare back.
He blinks slowly...
Raises a brow...
His face cracks and he starts laughing hysterically, rolling over on his back, arms clutching his stomach. "Me?? With Malik??" I glare in annoyance at his reaction as he wipes tears from his eyes "Oh Hathor!! That's rich!"
"No need to make such a fuss." I scowl at him. He rolls over and props his head up on his elbows.
"I'm sorry, abiou. It's just an idiotic question. I don't have anything against him, I just don't think I could sleep with him without killing him."
"Does everything with you come back to sex?"
"Pretty much." he replies with a lecherous grin and I whap his head again, but he still grins. "What? It's true. The guy would drive me up the fucking wall. I like our plotting mass destruction on drinking binges to much to give up for flowers and chocolate. Besides, Malik is not the kind you date. He's the kind you sit down with to watch TV and make fun of how inane the world is. Or drink with on Saturday nights... or weekday nights..." He pauses "any night..."
I give him the most total confused face I can manage. I'll forgive him for his love of alcohol for now, I remind myself to chastise him later. First questions first. "Flowers and chocolate?"
He shrugs "Okay, maybe that's a bit extreme for Malik, but it's partially true. They guy loves to be loved. As long as he knows that, everything is good. But he has this major defect that makes him avoid any type of relationship unless he's absolutely positive he has their undivided loyalty. Probably why he had himself all of Ghouls but couldn't tell you any of their names if his life depended on it. He won't bother unless he knows they can be trusted. So as a result, he walks around most of the time as a serious flirt but lonely as hell. He's seriously screwed up. I'm pretty sure the guy is fucking bi-polar or something. Why did you even ask in the first place?"
I duck my head a bit in light of his rant, resting it on my hand. "I was curious. He said he was single, but I wasn't sure. Or..."I pause "What he goes for."
He lay back and closed his eyes "Trust me," he says in a pointed, obvious tone "He's single, and he'll be that way a fucking long time. And he which way he swings depends on the person. Some guys he likes, some women he likes, kinda like you. Either is good, long as you like the person..." he grins at me "like picking your dates from a salad bar."
"Your bi to you moron!" I shoot back his burn, but he shrugs.
"True." He folds his arms behind his head "I still don't see why it matters at all. It's not the type of question that would keep you up at night. So? He likes guys the same as you, the same as me. Why do you even want to know about..." he trails off quickly, opening his eyes.
"Oh." is all he says after a moment and looks at me as if to say well-this-is-unexpected. I close my eyes and shrug. "Are you serious?"
"Am I ever anything but?" I reply, waiting for his reaction to come. I think he's in shock. I didn't exactly expect him to take it well by any stretch.
"You have your moments." he answers, staring at the ceiling, then he closes his eyes. "So..." he says, seeming to formulate his thoughts so he wouldn't say anything that could be painful. I know this is probably a bad sign if he's trying not to say something wrong. "You want to know what I think?"
I nod, then it occurs to me his eyes are closed so I just answer a brief "Yes."
His lips twitch and he again gathers his thoughts a moment. "Stay the hell away from him. Understand? Hikari, you'll be wasting your time. He'll never stay with you. He simply doesn't have it in him. He gets bored easily." I feel my heart start to sink and I pull up my knees, crossing my arms around them. "You heard what I said earlier, he's fucked up. I know he's looking for someone, but trust me it won't be you. Your to... unpretentious... for someone who lives as fast a life as Malik."
I don't know why but suddenly I feel used. He took care of me! He kissed me, damn it!
He stood in a circle with me.
Why not me?
"Well, why not!" I cry, sounding frustrated and I feel my yami roll over as I turn my head to glare at nothing.
"Hikari..." he says soothingly, I think he feels bad about upsetting me and yes, I am upset... I just feel so clueless for even thinking I stood a chance. Why did I even let things go this far? What the hell is wrong with me? "It's not that it wouldn't work or anything... hell, I think you'd probably be good for him. It might teach him something about what it's like to be loved, he could use that. But... Malik is a haunted person. He's not under his own freewill. He lives in a past his mind won't let him free of. He forbids himself from getting attached to things. It makes him fickle and wild. What he needs is someone who can make him slow down so he doesn't run himself into the ground. I do a pretty good job of that. We keep each other in line because we can keep up with each other. I keep him from getting to bitter, he keeps me from getting depressed. It's a good system. He'd need someone to make him slow down once in awhile. Do you really think you could handle someone like that, Ryou? Someone who goes day to day like there's no limit to anything? With your inexperience and deep emotions? He'd break your heart with the way he acts and I'll bet you he knows that. What he needs is someone who can make him forget what haunts him, Not someone who always reminds him of it."
I look at him, confused. "How do I remind him of it?" I blink, suddenly he seems shocked and at a loss for words. I stair at him a moment and it's almost like watching a turtle retreat into its shell. This isn't normal, my yami never looks guilty unless he's done something to hurt me. He hates having his keeper harmed ever since I got hurt badly during Battle City. "Yami? What are you not telling me?"
"You remember the last big tournament don't you?" he says, though the way he says it tells me he already knows the answer.
"Pieces." I admit. "I remember a few things." I remember being in the aquacenter, then there is a blur and I recall feeling horrible ill and my arm ached. I fainted into someone's arms. Malik's arms. He took care of me, wrapped my arm, talked to me gently, tried his best to sooth me and get me to walk, but I didn't know who he was and I didn't fully trust him or was aware of his intentions. I remember seeing Joey, and Tea... I think... oh and Mr. Mouto. Mr. Mouto took me to the hospital and I passed out from pain and fright just before they took me in. I hate hospitals.
I had nightmares... horrible nightmares... I dreamed of falling through space and I saw all my sisters favorite toys lying scattered and broken... they were so simple and they terrified me... then they all ended. I was sick and dizzy, I just wanted everything to stop and sleep peacefully, somewhere in that blur I think I dreamed a god appear to me. He said I would be okay and he held me gently, he was soothing and comforting, making me walk somewhere and I found myself locked in my soul room. Not like I cared if my yami took over. I was frankly to tired to care. I just slept.
Next thing I recall is being thrown out of my soul room into the freezing cold, wind beating at me. Confused, frightened, I collapsed. I sobbed for help, only one person came to me. My darker. I felt him. Strong arms grabbed hold of me and shoved me back, I gazed at him in thankful reproach as he stood and took the blow for me. Then everything was black. He was there with me, it was the first time he'd ever made any real indication of concern for me. (Though when I went searching for the Ring at Duelist Kingdom he was overjoyed to have me back.) For a brief moment he let me cry in his arms and he kept telling me he'd let nothing happen, it was his fault... I don't remember much, save he gave a cry and I wailed as he was ripped away from me. My ring was gone. I was left in my soul room, alone and in pain and I cried pitifully, what else could I do? Then I started to have dreams again. I can't really recall it, but I remember vaguely what happened.
"Your not the Tomb Robbers Spirit." the figure said. I wiped my eyes.
"He's gone." I replied, "Gone..."
"Oh." he paused, seeming to turn this over in his mind "The spirit must still be sleeping in the ring. Pardon me, I'm in the wrong part of your mind."
"Don't leave." I said abruptly. He stopped. "I don't want to be alone here. The dreams will come back."
He looked at me, I think he looked confused, I can't recall his face but he stood in front of me, looking down stoically, hand on his hip. "Why do you cry so? Shouldn't you be happy the spirit is gone? You'd have your life back."
"That's not the point." I sobbed "He's a part of me, my past. I keep him alive. When I'm hurt, he's the strong one who takes the pain away. He lives when I can't and he's not here..." I clutched my arm, even in my mind it still ached. "The pain is back."
"I don't understand."
"What's to understand?!"
"I have a spirit, but it has no past. Only my own faults to fuel him. It's troublesome and he used me the same way yours uses you."
"That's not true." I shook my head. "There are reasons... he just hasn't told them to me... I used to hate him for being so cold... but sometimes I feel it from him. This misery, hatred." That was true... at that time I knew nothing about Kuru Eruna and the pharaohs curse, I only learned that after we all managed to get into Yami's memory world.
"Misery and hatred seem to drive a lot of things now a days." The figure said, then paused, seeing this was going now where and I was still trembling.
"I don't want to be alone right now." I had sobbed. I didn't care if I was crying, it was my dream damn it. He sat down beside me looking uncomfortable and uneasily reached out to put a hand on my shoulder. He was new to the comforting thing I suppose. I don't know why, but I could feel things from him, pain, misery, anger... almost the same way I could feel my yami's presence inside me. I liked him for whatever reason, I sympathized with all the things I felt radiating from him. We just sat there in silence for a long time, enjoying each others company. Though every now and then my arm would ache, causing new tears. I was thankful for the hesitant way he would rub my shoulder when I started to cry again.
"Please stop crying. You're making me feel guilty."
"I can't help it!" I snapped. "You'd cry too if you hurt this bad!" He was taken back, then quiet for a moment before he moved in front of me and passed his hand in front of my eyes. Then I felt totally numb.
"This mind is mine." I heard him say "I am in control here. There shall be nothing. You will feel this pain no longer. I command it." I blinked. No pain. I looked at my arm and in my own mind it was healed. It sounds funny now, but after that, even when I was in my body the cut never hurt as bad.
"Hey!" I called as he stood up and turned. "Who are you? Why did you help me?"
"Because healing is probably the one thing I'm good at anymore." he replied in a softer tone, and I blinked... I could feel his pain, a pure continuing pain... like a wound that always bled. "There's a little piece of my soul with you, that's how I did it. That's why you can feel me. But I promise... soon I'll severe my ties with you and your spirit. He doesn't welcome my presence here any longer, I believe. He cares for you to much to subject you to my trails."
"What?" I said, more then lost with his statement about my yami disliking him.
"If it's any consolation, I never would have let the pharaoh harm you. I knew he wouldn't touch you. Very soon, I will return the spirit to you, you won't have to worry."
I smiled a bit "Thank you. At least tell me who you are. Why do I think I know you?"
"My name is not important, nor is that history. In 12 hours it doesn't matter anyway. I'll cease to be. Once my body is dead and I severe my tie with you, my spirit will have no where to go."
I blinked. For a second that made no sense then I realized he was out of his own body and if his body died and he stopped borrowing mine, his soul would drift away. He'd be dead. "You'll die?"
"Yes. It's not like I wasn't planning on ending it soon anyway. Free my family, then my purpose is complete. The world doesn't need a Pharaoh in this day and age." he sounded so bitter.
"How can you give up like that?" I gasped, "How can you be suicidal? Everyone has something to go on for."
"Not me." he replied coldly, there was nothing to the statement. It wasn't bitter, or sad. He said it like a fact. The same way someone would say the answer to 1 plus 1 is 2. Heartless. Like ice. I scrambled to my feet, running for him and grabbing his arm.
"Well, let me help." I said, offering him a sincere smile. He blinked at me confused. "Don't give up yet. I'm sure there is a reason for you, you just have to find it. I'll help you look."
"You'd... help me." he repeated as if I told him cows were indeed purple.
"Sure." I smiled, "You helped me. And you're going to bring my spirit back. You stayed with me. There has to be something you love." He still looked totally lost. "Why are you so shocked?"
"I don't remember anyone ever *offering* their help to me. At least offering it without me bargaining for it."
"So I'm the first, big deal. I'm sure there'll be others."
"I have no others to turn too. My only living family now is my sister... whom I don't speak with."
"I have a sister too." I paused, "Used too. I don't get to talk to her either..." he didn't respond. "I've got some friends. Their really good people, they include me even though they know my spirit has done some pretty awful things."
"So what happens when you can't put the blame totally on a spirit? I don't know..."
"You've just been misunderstood." He jerked his arm away from me.
"Enough!" I stepped back in shock at his rather violent outburst. "I want no more lies! No more lies!! Everyone has lied to me! My father, my sister, my big brother!! My spirit!! NO MORE LIES!" I winced as he shook his head furiously as if to try to stop the tears and threatened to come. He rubbed his eyes harshly on the back of his arm, stopping them before they started. I started to say something and I reached out to take his arm but he ran. "Stay away from me! Everyone who comes in contact with me ends up hurt! Or dead! I've made you suffer enough!"
"Suffer?" I asked, shaking my head, wondering what he meant, but he was already gone. The product of my pain induced delirium.
I come out of my flashback-daydream-thing and look at my yami, he seems lost in his own thoughts. "Why do you ask about that, Yami?"
"Whenever Malik thinks of you, that will be what he sees." he replied softly.
"See what?" I said, getting a bit exasperated at all his cryptic riddles. My darker has a tendency to drift into states where he will only talk in riddles. Isn't that called borderline personality disorder or something? He reaches out and gently brushes away the hem of my t-shirt sleeve to show the long, thin, deep scar on the upper part of my arm.
"He'll see you. Bleeding. Crying. Begging all alone for someone to help you." the distant look on his face as he looks at my arm unnerves me and I look at the scar, realizing I had no memory of how it really got there. Someone said I was mugged. I never really questioned it.
"Where did this come from?" I ask softly. "Tell me what he's afraid of."
My yami sighs a bit and lies down on his back again, folding his arms behind his head. "When I met Malik," he starts softly. "We made a pact. He promised me the Millennium Rod for my help in getting the God Cards. We needed a way to get into the finals and made the both of us look good. He proposed his idea and I agreed, so I made a promise to him."
"A promise?"
"A promise in blood." he adds. I furrow my brow, watching him. He keeps his eyes closed. He does that a lot when he's in thought, or he doesn't want to face someone. "A blood promise I would give him what he wanted, but it didn't turn out quite right. Ryou..." he pauses and opens his eyes, looking at me solemnly "I was the one who cut your arm.... I was the one who made you bleed... then left you to let your body suffer."
Confusion hits me in a solid wave, so many things come crashing down around and I can't make sense of any one of them. Like my whole world had stopped turning. Bakura? My darker? Was the one who cut me? Nearly KILLED me? "And he stood there and watched." he continues "Stood there and watched with ice in his eyes and fire in his heart. He watched me bleed and throw the knife into the pool. Then watched as I slipped away and let you faint..." I don't respond... how the hell can I respond? I don't know...
"Ryou?"
"....
....
Yes?"
"There's more." I sigh, just perfect. I don't want to hear anymore. I don't want to believe it. "On the ship... you remember waking in that battle don't you?"
"I think so. I thought I could have dreamed it, only you came."
"That was Malik too." I shake my head in confusion, to much information to fast, like I'm trying to play catch up to a part of my life I missed. And he's not explaining it in a way I can understand without stressing myself.
"Malik?"
"It was his idea... to switch minds with you. Icy eyed and temper flaming. Malik's plan... so Yami wouldn't attack." I don't answer. Just stare at nothing. Something painful turns over inside of me. Like I'm been used, been betrayed. The two of them did it..."I'm sorry."
I look at him and he turns his head. He must hate looking people in the eye unless he's trying to frighten them. "You redeemed it. You stepped in and pushed me back, saved me from Osiris, despite him."
"I'm still sorry... " he rubs his eyes. I have nothing to say to him at the moment. I have nothing to say to either of them. Oh I'm angry now. I have the sudden urge to strangle that beautiful blonde Egyptian... but I don't think I could... something in the way he acts... I don't know... was he sorry too? The God who regrets nothing? "Hikari?"
"What?" I reply a bit to sharply. I don't even know why...
"Are you mad at me?"
I chew on my lip thoughtfully. I'm mad, yes.
Oh bloody Hell I'm mad!!
I'm fucking furious!!
Yes I do swear when I'm angry... but I'm not even sure what I'm angry at. Bakura? No, I feel more sympathy for him then anything. After all, he did come to my rescue. He stepped up and saved me when no one else would, he swore on everything he was sorry that night when he held before, before he was pulled away. And I believe him. No, I'm not angry at Bakura. Malik? Maybe... "No, I'm not mad at you."
"Are you mad at him?" I know exactly who he's talking about, but I don't answer. I don't know. "Don't be mad at him, Ryou. It's not really his fault. Believe that much. Have nothing else to do with him, but at least give him that much."
"Oh?" I snap. "Then *kindly* explain to me who's fault it is??" No, not exactly mad at Malik... mostly angry at myself for falling so hard for him that I couldn't be angry with him.
He shrugs. I never could intimidate him. He just stares up at the ceiling. "The darkness in him... that anger... it drove him." he says slowly, almost contemplative. "Fire. That's what he had. Unstoppable fire. All he wanted was to be free. He had no interest in the items, only in getting free of his family and making sure his family would suffer for the pharaoh no longer. As long as he wasn't alone... he had hope, faint hope, that someday he would be happy." I listen intently, my emotions seemed to go on pause for awhile. A new outlook to take into view. "But he lost us in that first battle. There was nothing I could do for him at the moment and I was divided from you. He didn't even know who you were at the time. Keep in mind he never really met you till after Battle City."
I blink. I had forgotten that. I was a stranger to Malik. He didn't know me, he knew my yami. He didn't care because he didn't know me. "When Rishid fell... that hope vanished. He had no one. Not Isis, not me, not Rishid. Without hope, his darkness took over. And when he realized the mistake he made... that it had been his spirit all along, Malik had no reason to hate the Pharaoh anymore... there was nothing to fuel the anger, the only thing that keep him going, he had nothing to live for. His fire went out. So now all that's left is ice. Bitterness. He's cold and distant with nothing to keep him moving. Each day is meaningless and some days I know he doesn't even want to get up. He doesn't sleep, he just lays there and thinks. Without that fire to justify what he's done, he's guilty. And he lives silently with that pain. No one is blaming him for what happened, after all it was the darker spirit that had that influence over him, but he still feels the remorse. Ra only knows why.
"He's lonely. He won't say it, but I can feel it sometimes, when he talks about what he wishes he could change. He's grateful for being embraced by you all but he doesn't want to be exceedingly close to them. That guilt is still there, haunting him in everything they do. And you are the biggest part of it. You took the most punishment for his ambition and he knows it. He has mentioned that to me before." His sharp eyes lock on mine and I know every word is true. Just something in the way he's not afraid to say it to my face. "You, hikari, are his constant reminder he's alone."
"But he's not alone." I say softly. "He has you. He has me."
Bakura laughs a slight bit, more to humor me then anything. "He doesn't see it that way."
I smile slightly "I should show him then."
My darker shakes his head. "Ryou, you wanted my advice, damn it, and here it is. Stay away from him. Unless by some act of Ra, that ice starts to melt, you don't have a chance. You'll only end up hurting the both of you. He can't handle you and you can't handle him."
I sigh in defeat. I suppose that's that then... I heard what I wanted to hear... then why do I feel so distinctly empty? "Do you even think that ice will go away?" I say idly, plucking at one of the pillows.
"I don't know." he admits. "His eyes never cease of amaze me. How cold and stormy they are. For once... I think I would like to see the ice melt."
I think a minute. I think I'm forgetting something. Something important about his eyes. What was it? "So you can see what they look like underneath?"
"I suppose so. There's so much built up and frozen. I wonder where it will go to when it melts."
I tipped my head. "You want to see him cry." I say, catching on to his hidden play on words. I don't think he even realized his metaphor because he looks contemplative at my words. My darker has a habit of talking in symbols.
"Yes." he nods, and closes his eyes. His voice drops off distantly. "The day Malik Ishtar cries is the day you know there's no more ice left."
I smile, just watching him... I can feel exhaustion. Mental stress is heavy on him now. It's something between excitement and anxiety. I suppose it feels similar to stage fright. That weird butterflies in your stomach feeling. Our talk about Malik made it worst, but it had been there before as well. "'Kura?"
"Hmm...?" He's half-asleep now.
"What did you learn in Egypt that has you anxious."
"None of your business." He says calmly, making it clear he wasn't about to pursue the issue in light of the fact sleep seemed like a better idea.
"Is it something about Kuru Eruna?" I say as gently as I can. I know he's touchy about the subject. Maybe seeing the village is what has him worked up.
"No, not really." he answers.
"Then what is it?"
He grumbles incoherently, pressing his eyes more firmly closed. "I'll figure it out in the morning." He says bluntly and I raise a brow. "I'm not sure what I feel right now, and I need to talk to someone first."
I smirk teasingly, "Yami?"
He opens his eyes briefly to glare at me. "Yes, the Pharaoh." he spits as if the name were poison, giving the distinct impression that although my guess was right it had nothing to do with what my teasing implied.
"Just don't hurt him okay?" I ask, leaning on my elbows to look down at him.
"Whatever." he answers. I get the distinct impression he's to tired to even figure out what he's planning on doing... but violence is certainly an opinion when he uses that tone... besides the day Bakura ever plans anything in advance will be the day the apocalypse comes. Usually his ideas occur in brief moments of evanescence and their normally either ingenious or blatantly stupid. I smile and grab one of his blankets, covering him up. He blinks and yawns, realizing he almost fell asleep.
"G-night, yami." I say, getting up. He pulls the blankets up around his neck and yawns again. I'd stay a bit longer, only I know he hates sharing any type of a room with someone when he sleeps. I think it's thieves instinct to sleep where your hidden so no one can kill you or something like that. I wonder how Isis handled that. No doubt it was one of the first temper tantrums he threw. I watch him close his eyes again before walking for the door.
"Ryou?"
I pause. "Yeah?"
"I..." he trails off and I catch the agitation in his emotions. "It's good to be home with you."
I smile, knowing what he really meant to say. Although he couldn't say it, I could feel it. Maybe my mention of what I feel for Malik threw him off. I turn to look at him as he watches me. "It's okay, yami. I love you too." He smiles. Satisfied with this.
"I just want to look out for you. I care about you and don't want to see you in a mess. You're like my little brother. I didn't mean to upset you." He closes his eyes again. I feel a bit sad for him... I wonder if he had a brother... or a sister... maybe many brothers and sisters... I wonder if he had a sister like Amane. I know he loved his family. I can understand why his heart is so black.
"It's okay Ba-Kuru'runa." I say, using his full name to show affection. He smiles hearing the name. I think it's a comfort to him. Reminds him he has purpose. Sometimes I wonder what his given name was. But in Egypt only a child's mother and the child know the child's real name. I wonder if he even remembers, or if the title "Soul/Savior of Kuru Eruna" is the only name he can remember. Someday I'll ask him, but I'll leave it for now. "Sleep well."
"You too, Ryou."
I smile at his words then turn to the door. I put my hand on the heavy latch then blink finding myself in bed.
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Okay, for those who have not yet had the privilege of hearing the REAL story of Bakura's past through the grape vine... yes, he does have a good gripe with Yami over his family and yes the temple has something to do with it and yes his name is "Savior of Kuru Eruna" however self-given it is. Want to know the whole story? I will reveal it soon in a later chapter, O_o I guess I just like giving story spoilers. Oh well *sighs*
Malik: This doesn't look good for me...
Ryou: O_O ...... _ ! You were the one who cut my arm and wanted Osiris to kill me!!!!!
Malik: ^^ U ummmm... yeah... about that... there was good reason?
Yami B: Well at least I told him the truth! You were to chicken shit!
Malik: _ HEY!!!
Yami B: Well YOU weren't going to deal with the problem. He knows now.
Malik: But he'll hate me!!!!
Ryou: *glares at them both*
Yami B and Malik: O_O
LYB: Um yeah any way... so how will Ryou now react to Malik??
Cyris: R&R everyone.....