Disclaimer: Elves are not mine but Tolkien's.
A? N: AND I give you chapter 17. Review's are appreciated. feedback at ihgs123@netzero.com
~*~*~*~*
(Present Time/Lorien)
(Legolas's POV)
"Valar?" Frodo was speechless when I told him the worst part of my story, but in his eyes I couldn't see any judgment.
"So that's how it happened." I tried to say something more to the hobbit, but I knew that any explanation I would give, couldn't wash away my past.
"Well, the past is past, so why linger on it. Tell me what happened after Haldir left. How did you feel?" Frodo's eyes curiously glanced upon me and I nodded with my head.
"I shall tell you the rest of it Frodo, but I am afraid that there is not much left to it."
"But there is one part of the story that you had left unclear to me. It's the part about Olwe and his brother. What happened to them?"
Frodo asked me as he leaned against the tree.
"Oh after Olwe lost his bet, he decided to leave Mirkwood for a while, but he couldn't stay away from his home. Two weeks later he and his family came back to Mirkwood and Olwe begged me to allow them to stay. In my sadness I allowed him to stay, with no strings attached and his brother had stayed untouched by my hand." I said as I took the hold of my knees and with melancholy I sighed into the night.
The night in Lorien was almost done with us and in two hours the sun would be born again.
I knew I had these precious moments to explore the deepness of my past and to reveal my pain to someone who was willing to listen.
"You see, there are some good deeds you have done in the past. You are not as bad as you think you are." Frodo's teasing voice made me smile a little, but my thoughts were back on my pain as they lingered there near my past destruction. I remembered those days I had spent in misery and it was easy to see myself as I was back then; a child who had lost when he had finally gained.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Second Age/Mirkwood
Legolas's POV
~*~*~*!*~*~
Sagging down on the floor, with my body as tired as if the tons of the steel hang from it, I knew in my sadness I wouldn't last for too long. The room I was in, was mine, and all those hours of standing straight and forward, looking at the distance from my window had made my body tired.
My heart was heavy because of the deeds I had performed and finding out that I was a big fool was an enlightening experience. How, in the name of Valar could I make this go away. This feeling of dread and extreme guilt would always be with me.
Two days had passed for me, but I felt like the million years had gone by. I was still wearing the same attire, I had on the feast, and during those two days I had let myself go. Nothing mattered, but this heavy feeling that was going over me. Nothing mattered, but the ways to heal my torn soul.
"Enter." Someone knocked upon my door and with a small but strong voice I answered.
My father came in and I knew that he was a last person I wanted to see right now. I was hating myself right now, and with that hate also came the strong fury that I held for my father. He was the one who made this thing of me, a thing that hurts, a things of the cold heart.
"Son!" He kneeled beside me on the floor and I could feel his hand touching my shoulder.
"Don't you dare to touch me, traitor." The voice I released was a dangerous one and as lethal as the snake's bite.
"What, what are you talking about." Thranduil was surprised as I refused his comfort in the meaning of the calming touch.
"Don't pretend you don't know. You betrayed my mother, you betrayed me, and my brother's and sisters. Do not pretend you care for me, when truthfully the only care you can give, you give it to your lover." I crawled to the other corner and I squeezed my knees tightly, lowering my head gently upon them.
"Legolas. What makes you think that I don't love you, or my other children for that matter"
"Shut up. Shut your mouth father. If not for your cold heart, my mother would still be alive. 'Twas your fault she faded from our side." Those words, I had released in a screaming voice and small whimpering sobs wrecked my shattered form.
"Legolas" Thranduil's pleading voice sounded through the room and with quick steps he came beside me.
"Legolas, I know you are shaken because of your recent ordeal, but you must know that I care for you and for the rest of my children. Your mother, well, it was her choice to leave us, and I don't see why I should be blamed for her doings." Thranduil's defense was something that made me sick to my stomach and I realized that my past fears have been uncovered. I was the same person as my father was, cruel, heartless and damned.
"Go to hell father. How dare you. She loved you and all you can do is to blame her for leaving us."
"Legolas, be reasonable."
"You know what father. The only ruler I can truly admire is Celeborn. He went out of his way to save his Captain, and that really says something about the character, father. He is the noblest ruler I had ever known, but you my father, are what people call the* scum of the Middle Earth*."
I knew I had hurt my father with those words, but I knew I had to take it out on someone.
"Legolas, how dare you speak like that to me. I am your father and I demand some respect."
I chuckled at those cold words my father had said, and my eyes had pierced him with my hateful gaze.
"And respect you shall have. Go ask it of your lover, because from now on the only thing you'll have from me, is hate. Go away. Leave my room, Now!" My father couldn't fight his enraged son, and he remained quiet as he pondered what to do. But then the sadness upon his face, had prompted him to speak these words to me.
"Legolas, I don't want to loose my son, and I don't want to gain my child's wraith. Why are you doing this? What have I done to you, my son?"
"You didn't love me enough father. You love no one, but yourself. Please leave." With those last words, he left the room without giving me a last glance. I had lost my mind, my father's regard and the person I was in love with, but the only thing I had possessed was my pride. And with that I knew I was able to survive; whatever Valar would throw at me next.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Present time
Legolas's POV
~*~*~*~*~*~
"So, did anything change between you and your father." Frodo's small voice brought me up from my reverie and breathlessly I answered his question.
"We haven't really spoken since that day, except on the professional level. We stayed away from each other's sight. I hated him, but secretly I knew he grieved for the loss of his son. That's how it is, and as it will always be."
Frodo shook his head and I stood up from the ground, enjoying the fresh morning air.
The dawn had approached a half an hour ago and somehow I knew that this day would be a joyous one to me. Today was the day when I would be spending with Haldir again.
"That's terrible." Frodo sighed." But don't you think it's about time to forgive your father." Frodo carefully asked and it was my turn to sigh.
"I already did Frodo, and when or if I survive this peril, I shall reconcile with him."
"Tell me, my friend; after Celeborn broke into your father's dungeons had things changed between the Lorien and Mirkwood. Was your father furious?" Frodo asked as he stood up and joined me while I searched for the warmth of the morning sun.
"Furious he was, but the relations between those two realms remained cold, until I admitted a truth to him about my deeds. Now the relations are damaged by these dark times but I swore to myself I would repair what I had once broke."
Frodo nodded and from the corner of my eye I could see Aragorn approaching us. His manner had remained cold toward me but I knew I could do nothing to fix that. This distance between us would remain and I knew that friendship with Aragorn was an impossible task. But I knew I had to do something about that. This Quest would indeed be hard, but to survive it I would try to mend some things with Aragorn. I would beg of him to forgive me and to consider a friendship between us, because in those foul times we would need to rely on the strength of our arms.
TBC
A? N: AND I give you chapter 17. Review's are appreciated. feedback at ihgs123@netzero.com
~*~*~*~*
(Present Time/Lorien)
(Legolas's POV)
"Valar?" Frodo was speechless when I told him the worst part of my story, but in his eyes I couldn't see any judgment.
"So that's how it happened." I tried to say something more to the hobbit, but I knew that any explanation I would give, couldn't wash away my past.
"Well, the past is past, so why linger on it. Tell me what happened after Haldir left. How did you feel?" Frodo's eyes curiously glanced upon me and I nodded with my head.
"I shall tell you the rest of it Frodo, but I am afraid that there is not much left to it."
"But there is one part of the story that you had left unclear to me. It's the part about Olwe and his brother. What happened to them?"
Frodo asked me as he leaned against the tree.
"Oh after Olwe lost his bet, he decided to leave Mirkwood for a while, but he couldn't stay away from his home. Two weeks later he and his family came back to Mirkwood and Olwe begged me to allow them to stay. In my sadness I allowed him to stay, with no strings attached and his brother had stayed untouched by my hand." I said as I took the hold of my knees and with melancholy I sighed into the night.
The night in Lorien was almost done with us and in two hours the sun would be born again.
I knew I had these precious moments to explore the deepness of my past and to reveal my pain to someone who was willing to listen.
"You see, there are some good deeds you have done in the past. You are not as bad as you think you are." Frodo's teasing voice made me smile a little, but my thoughts were back on my pain as they lingered there near my past destruction. I remembered those days I had spent in misery and it was easy to see myself as I was back then; a child who had lost when he had finally gained.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Second Age/Mirkwood
Legolas's POV
~*~*~*!*~*~
Sagging down on the floor, with my body as tired as if the tons of the steel hang from it, I knew in my sadness I wouldn't last for too long. The room I was in, was mine, and all those hours of standing straight and forward, looking at the distance from my window had made my body tired.
My heart was heavy because of the deeds I had performed and finding out that I was a big fool was an enlightening experience. How, in the name of Valar could I make this go away. This feeling of dread and extreme guilt would always be with me.
Two days had passed for me, but I felt like the million years had gone by. I was still wearing the same attire, I had on the feast, and during those two days I had let myself go. Nothing mattered, but this heavy feeling that was going over me. Nothing mattered, but the ways to heal my torn soul.
"Enter." Someone knocked upon my door and with a small but strong voice I answered.
My father came in and I knew that he was a last person I wanted to see right now. I was hating myself right now, and with that hate also came the strong fury that I held for my father. He was the one who made this thing of me, a thing that hurts, a things of the cold heart.
"Son!" He kneeled beside me on the floor and I could feel his hand touching my shoulder.
"Don't you dare to touch me, traitor." The voice I released was a dangerous one and as lethal as the snake's bite.
"What, what are you talking about." Thranduil was surprised as I refused his comfort in the meaning of the calming touch.
"Don't pretend you don't know. You betrayed my mother, you betrayed me, and my brother's and sisters. Do not pretend you care for me, when truthfully the only care you can give, you give it to your lover." I crawled to the other corner and I squeezed my knees tightly, lowering my head gently upon them.
"Legolas. What makes you think that I don't love you, or my other children for that matter"
"Shut up. Shut your mouth father. If not for your cold heart, my mother would still be alive. 'Twas your fault she faded from our side." Those words, I had released in a screaming voice and small whimpering sobs wrecked my shattered form.
"Legolas" Thranduil's pleading voice sounded through the room and with quick steps he came beside me.
"Legolas, I know you are shaken because of your recent ordeal, but you must know that I care for you and for the rest of my children. Your mother, well, it was her choice to leave us, and I don't see why I should be blamed for her doings." Thranduil's defense was something that made me sick to my stomach and I realized that my past fears have been uncovered. I was the same person as my father was, cruel, heartless and damned.
"Go to hell father. How dare you. She loved you and all you can do is to blame her for leaving us."
"Legolas, be reasonable."
"You know what father. The only ruler I can truly admire is Celeborn. He went out of his way to save his Captain, and that really says something about the character, father. He is the noblest ruler I had ever known, but you my father, are what people call the* scum of the Middle Earth*."
I knew I had hurt my father with those words, but I knew I had to take it out on someone.
"Legolas, how dare you speak like that to me. I am your father and I demand some respect."
I chuckled at those cold words my father had said, and my eyes had pierced him with my hateful gaze.
"And respect you shall have. Go ask it of your lover, because from now on the only thing you'll have from me, is hate. Go away. Leave my room, Now!" My father couldn't fight his enraged son, and he remained quiet as he pondered what to do. But then the sadness upon his face, had prompted him to speak these words to me.
"Legolas, I don't want to loose my son, and I don't want to gain my child's wraith. Why are you doing this? What have I done to you, my son?"
"You didn't love me enough father. You love no one, but yourself. Please leave." With those last words, he left the room without giving me a last glance. I had lost my mind, my father's regard and the person I was in love with, but the only thing I had possessed was my pride. And with that I knew I was able to survive; whatever Valar would throw at me next.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Present time
Legolas's POV
~*~*~*~*~*~
"So, did anything change between you and your father." Frodo's small voice brought me up from my reverie and breathlessly I answered his question.
"We haven't really spoken since that day, except on the professional level. We stayed away from each other's sight. I hated him, but secretly I knew he grieved for the loss of his son. That's how it is, and as it will always be."
Frodo shook his head and I stood up from the ground, enjoying the fresh morning air.
The dawn had approached a half an hour ago and somehow I knew that this day would be a joyous one to me. Today was the day when I would be spending with Haldir again.
"That's terrible." Frodo sighed." But don't you think it's about time to forgive your father." Frodo carefully asked and it was my turn to sigh.
"I already did Frodo, and when or if I survive this peril, I shall reconcile with him."
"Tell me, my friend; after Celeborn broke into your father's dungeons had things changed between the Lorien and Mirkwood. Was your father furious?" Frodo asked as he stood up and joined me while I searched for the warmth of the morning sun.
"Furious he was, but the relations between those two realms remained cold, until I admitted a truth to him about my deeds. Now the relations are damaged by these dark times but I swore to myself I would repair what I had once broke."
Frodo nodded and from the corner of my eye I could see Aragorn approaching us. His manner had remained cold toward me but I knew I could do nothing to fix that. This distance between us would remain and I knew that friendship with Aragorn was an impossible task. But I knew I had to do something about that. This Quest would indeed be hard, but to survive it I would try to mend some things with Aragorn. I would beg of him to forgive me and to consider a friendship between us, because in those foul times we would need to rely on the strength of our arms.
TBC