A/N: Considering DBZ fanfiction was the first thing I ever wrote – it's odd that I've been posting fics here for a while and only know have I gotten around to posting a DBZ fic – and it's a Bulma songfic to boot! ::scratches head wondering where the hell that came from!:: Considering it's a new area for me I'd appreciate any comments/criticisms you may have – so please R&R! I hope you enjoy it! (Warning: It's reasonably long!!)
Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, it's characters or its storyline. I also don't own the lyrics to "Stuck" – sung by Stacie Orrico. I'm merely borrowing them to entertain myself, and possibly others, please don't sue me!
Stuck
I can't get out of bed today
Or get you off my mind
I just can't seem to find a way to leave the love behind
Bulma curled up in a ball under her bright, spangled doona, her head resting upon two soft white pillows, her green hair sprayed carelessly across them. Her blue eyes were rid rimmed from crying and dark circles lay below her long lashed orbs, glazed and staring. The clock on the nightstand next to her blazed crimson lettering that stated she had slept in. She didn't care.
I ain't trippin'
I'm just missin' you
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean
Her perfectly arched brows lowered and she felt the knot in her stomach tighten and wished she could cry, but the tears just wouldn't come. She had cried them all out the night before...just thinking about that made her dry throat sob, a cracking sound that made her feel even more pitiful than she already did. She rolled over burying her face into her pillow, willing the pain to go away.
You kept me hanging on a string
Why you make me cry
I tried to give you everything
But you just give lies
After what felt like hours of gut wrenching pain as she played the scene over and over again in her mind - him standing there, glancing at her and then turning away as if she wasn't even there. However, never a weak willed woman her gut feeling changed and she got up with a furious flinging of the doona – which didn't act in the violent way she had hoped, merely slipping casually off the bed. Considering it a lost cause she stalked over to the wardrobe and yanked the door open. This yielded better results – falling off it's ball bearings to hang out on a crazy angle. Anger semi-vented she started rifling through her wardrobe, looking for suitable attire for a newly single woman on the prowl.
I ain't trippin'
I'm just missin' you
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean
Perhaps looking at clothes wasn't the best idea, she decided after she had rifled through her wardrobe twice, finding tears to shed over blouses and shoes that she had worn to this party or that dinner or that necklace he had given her. Fingering the pretty gold dove on it's chain anger seized her again and she bolted over to the window and hurled it into the street below yelling hoarsely,
"I hate you!"
Before collapsing to the plush carpeted floor on her knees, long hair tumbling around her shoulders in a messy pile as dry sobs racked her body again.
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean
I've been wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
Memories flashed past so fast she barely had time to recognise them, let alone dismiss them. There was so much. One single memory, from the night before, running through her head every second thought, until it became every thought and blended out all others until she was swimming in a sea of pain. Standing outside the coffee shop, he was sitting there, arm slung casually around a slender brunette's shoulders. He had said something and she had giggled and kissed him on the cheek. He had pecked her on the lips, as he did so he had noticed her, then he had looked away.
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool for you
She remembered when she had been the girl on his arm, sitting in parks and coffee shops, laughing at his jokes, reveling in the fact that such a handsome, strong man had chosen her. How long had he been ignoring her? It dawned on her that their relationship had been sliding for months, she had been too busy to notice...until it was too late.
I can't take it
What am I waiting for
My heart's still breakin'
I miss you even more
Forlornly contemplating this thought she pulled on some old jeans and threw on a T-shirt, ignoring her birds nest of a hairstyle she felt quite liberated for a moment, she didn't have to dress up for anyone now. He had always liked it when she looked nice, sometimes even going so far as to suggest what she wore. She had never complained, and if she had it was only ever playful – thinking he wasn't serious, then she had done it anyway. Just to amuse him.
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
She walked out of her room and closed the door on the chaos of bedding and clothes that littered the carpeted floor. She turned and padded down the stairs to the kitchen. It was deserted except for that evil Saiya-jin, who called himself a prince and glared at her raising an eyebrow at her appearance before commenting, his mouth full of chicken wing,
"That was a noisy cat that dragged you in last night, I could barely sleep."
She rolled her eyes and ignored him as he smirked and swallowed his mouthful only to pick up a rack of ribs in one hand to start gnawing on it, holding two more chicken wings in the other. She walked into the kitchen and ran her eyes across the phone on the wall, how many hours had she spent talking to him about anything and everything. She felt she knew him better than anyone, and he her. How could he trade that all up for someone else?
I hate you but I love you
I cant stop thinkin' of you
It's true, I'm stuck on you
She shifted from foot to foot on the cold tiles, trying to ignore the cracking and gnawing sounds for behind her, without turning around she snapped,
"Could you chew any louder, barbarian?! You don't have to disgust everyone within a quarter mile radius you know!"
The Prince crunched loudly on a rib before commenting,
"I don't hear anyone else within a quarter mile radius complaining, woman - only you, and I can almost put up with your whining."
Now love's a broken record
That's been skippin' in my head
The fridge beeped loudly art her, telling her it had been open too long, she grabbed an apple and a bottle of chocolate milk before kicking the door shut savagely. She heard the man behind her begin to rip into the chicken and shuddered in disgust, knowing he was doing it just to irritate her and also knowing she wasn't in the mood for his arrogance. She dropped the milk onto the bench-top and pulled out a glass, he commented, mouth obviously full of chicken, even though she couldn't see him,
"Are you sure you need all that fat, woman? Your hips are already wide enough to block and on-coming traffic – or is that your aim for a new job?"
Whirling around she yelled furiously suddenly happy to have someone that she could vent her anger at,
"Would you take your disgusting, arrogant ass back to where you damn well came from and leave me in peace?!"
I keep singing Yesterday
Why we got to play these games we play?
I ain't trippin'
I'm just missin' you
Vegeta smirked, chicken skin hanging out of his mouth, which he quickly slurped up and with a disgusting, food filled grin, said,
"You re-create my planet, woman and I'll happily leave this weakling infested garbage dump you try to trade of as a planet of the universe and leave all the ugly, lard filled women, such as yourself, behind."
Fuming she flung the glass she was holding at his head and was even more infuriated when he calmly dodged it whilst taking another bite out of the chicken. It shattered on the floor behind him and he calmly looked over his shoulder and said,
"That was intelligent of you – now you've given yourself a job to do. A proper women's task of cleaning up."
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean
"Screw you!" she screamed all the anger that she felt towards her now ex- boyfriend coming to the surface to attack this arrogant bastard who taunted her. Knowing she was being stupid and knowing she was about to cry again she turned and bolted up the stairs, trying to get away from the pain that haunted her steps.
Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I've been wishing you would call me on the telephone
Every step she took as she pounded up the stairs made her heart weigh heavier in her chest, tears pricking her eyes and her throat aching dully from it's abuse the night before and again now. Flinging the door to her room open she bolted to her dresser to stand in front of her mirror and feel even more pathetic. Her hair was worse than she had thought, her clothes rumpled and her eyes red raw and her cheeks flushed and splotchy. Hating herself because she couldn't even impress the lousiest guy on the planet, let alone the one she pined for she thrust her clenched fist through the glass.
Say you want me back
But you never do
Watching it shatter and create a crimson flood across the back of her tiny, pale hand she felt some of the pain she felt inside manifest itself into physical pain, and for some unfathomable reason, that made her feel better. She cradled her injured hand to her chest for a moment before she looked at the photos that paraded across the dresser. Her and him at the beach, her in an emerald bikini smiling as if she was the happiest girl on the planet and him, handsome in his boardshorts with his rippling, muscular chest. Her on the back of a motorcycle, her hair wind-tossed but not the limp mess it was now, him clad in a leather jacket smiling.
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool for you
She picked up the next one, he had his arms around her and his head resting atop hers, she was smiling a little content smile and he looked cheekily at the camera as if to say 'look what I've got!', blood from her hand dripped onto the glass of the frame and she stared at it for a moment, thinking of hurling it at the nearest wall and then realising she couldn't. She couldn't even break the pictures of the bastard, because she still loved him – still loved him so much it hurt. No matter how much her hand hurt, her heart still ached more.
I can't take it
What am I waiting for
My heart's still breakin'
miss you even more
"Even after I know you don't love me anymore, it still hurts – why? Why can't I just let you go, I hate you enough, don't I?!" She cried, her voice cracking painfully as she did so and a single tear fell from her long lashed blue eyes. Suddenly she was grateful no one could see her, and that the only person who had didn't matter anyway. She was hurting like hell but that was no reason to act like the typical dropped bimbo!
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
She picked up a hairbrush and attempted to tame the tangles, though after a few moments she gave it up as a lost cause and padded into the ensuite. She turned on the shower, before stripping off and stepping into the fiery needles of water that singed her back as they struck. She closed her eyes and felt some of the pain get washed away with the eddying water near the drain. How her heart ached, she just wanted to hear the phone ring. Hear his voice on the other end.
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinkin' of you
It's true, I'm stuck on you
What would I say though...? She grinned for a moment knowing that she would rip into him as loud and as long as her abused vocal chords would allow, as much as she loved him she hated what he had done to her. How could he make her hurt this much? How could he dare do that to her, when he'd said so many times that he loved her. Were they all lies? Or was he sincere when he said it, and just didn't love her any more. With a strangled sob she fought back tears as she thought of how much she still loved him, the thought of him not loving her anymore was unbearable.
Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I've been wishing you would call me on the telephone
She turned off the water and stepped out, partly refreshed, to drip onto the mat nearby as she grabbed her towel, thinking all the while. What would she do if he wanted her back, make him grovel and then refuse? She grinned wickedly as all sorts of revenge plans began to weave their way through her head. She tucked the towel around herself and knotted another one around her now manageable hair. Maybe she would pretend to simper and say she wanted him back to and then whip around and refuse? Maybe...
Say you want me back
But you never do
She was slowly realising she didn't want him back, as much as she loved him, as handsome as he was, the amount he had hurt her was equal to all of that. She loved him and her heart still hurt but she didn't want him back, it made no sense. She had been brought up with her mother's words of, "If he's cheated once, he'll do it again."
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool for you
Padding back into her room she picked up a large fragment of mirror to inspect herself in, and smiled when she saw her eyes weren't red anymore and her cheeks were no longer splotchy. She was almost back to her normal, radiant self! Gritting her teeth and lowering her brow she smiled and thought,
I don't need you. I loved you, sure. Still do – but I was stupid to think you were the one. I always knew you loved me but I also knew I could do better. Maybe I had to see you with that other girl to realise I was stuck in a little girls relationship?
I can't take it
What am I waiting for
My heart's still breakin'
I miss you even more
She flitted out of the room, and bounced carefully down the stairs, determined to get her chocolate milk this time, no matter what Vegeta snarled at her. To her relief he wasn't there, although she was half hoping he would be. She felt like ripping into someone with her newly found energy at being a stronger, more mature person because of the bastard who had cheated on her and made her pine, and cry and act like an idiot. She pranced to the fridge, opened it and removed the chocolate milk and poured herself a large glass full before drinking it all down and smiling a satisfied smile.
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinkin' of you
Standing in the kitchen, dripping water onto the tiles, empty milk glass in her hand she said firmly,
"Screw you, Yamcha. I don't need you to have fun, I've still got friends and you can keep all your new ones, because if you really loved me you wouldn't have hurt me like this, fuck you!"
With that she hurled the glass at the wall and happily watched the broken glass shards fall with a tinkling sound to the floor
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinkin' of you
I don't know what to do
I'm stuck on you
A/N: Long, sappy and feminist I know – please R&R to tell me what you think anyway!