Enduring Darkness
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or any of its characters…
A/N: This fic is AU… so don't come up to me and go 'oh that never happens' cause I know it doesn't. This is a fanfic, not a copy of the real thing. (Sorry if that sounded harsh and rude, I've just had some people email me it before so yeah.)
FIVE -×- A Memory of Darkness
Lily was sitting up on her bed chatting happily away to Bella, her 'renewed' best friend, laughing at what they'd done over the past summer. It seemed like years since they'd been apart, yet it was only a few months. She was smiling. Her eyes had that gleam again. The shimmer that everyone loved to see in the Head Girl. It meant she was in a good mood. She'd let anyone off detention – even if she'd caught them throwing dungbombs at her bed, hence the reason the Marauders tended to use this chance to prank anyone and everyone.
The door opened. Both the girls' eyes darted towards it, afraid that Madam Misha was there, but it wasn't her. They relaxed in an instant.
"Hey Jason," Lily greeted. She was back to her normal self. The non-hating, kind, gentle girl she was before. She felt the last month had changed her somewhat – made her almost…vicious, but that was all in the past.
"Hey. You look like you're in a good mood. What happened? And who's this charming lady?" Jason was referring to Bella in the last part. Bella blushed at this comment. Lily giggled.
"Yeah. Everything's wonderful! I want to get out of here as SOON as possible!" Lily replied, forgetting to mention the likes of Bella until a rather… un-subtle cough was heard from beside her. "Oh… right! Um… this is Bella."
Bella smiled at him as he nodded his head faintly in her direction. "Wow… he looks like James!" she whispered into Lily's ear. Lily nodded.
"Lily, there's no way Madam Misha will let you out until at least another two months considering how you're usually crying (Bella shot Lily a look of apology, Lily just gazed at him wondering how he knew this then remembered he was Madam Misha's son), so don't get your hopes up! In fact, I think she's coming now, so Bella, it was a pleasure meeting you, but I really think you should go before-" But Jason never had a chance to finish his speech, for a middle-aged lady burst through the doors.
"MISS EVANS NEEDS REST! HOW CAN SHE GET REST WHEN SHE'S GOT YOU HARASSING HER?!" Madam Misha screeched. Lily tried to tell her that Bella was her friend, but Misha just held up a hand, stopping her from saying whatever she had in mind. Darn she's good at that hand thing. Lily thought with a slight sulk. Bella took off immediately, whispering 'I'll see you later' into Lily's ear. She brightened up again immediately.
Just as Arabella opened the door, she turned around, wondering why Jason wasn't also going. Madam Misha obviously picked up on this. "He's her temporary tutor! Now, please, get out, whoever you are!"
Bella threw Jason a look of confusion, which he returned with a shrug. Only when she had left did Misha turn to Lily and ask her, "Are you okay, dear?"
"Yes, madam, but you see, Bella's my friend!" Lily explained. Madam Misha seemed to have a guilty look on her face, but said, "I'm sorry, Lily dear, but you need your rest. Jason will teach you everything you've missed later on." Then, turning to look at Jason, she added, "Now you, come back after dinner, okay? Shoo."
Jason grinned and walked out.
Lily could no longer hold in her question. She had wanted to ask it since Madam Misha came back. "Madam Misha? Where have you…been, exactly?"
Madam Misha was caught off-guard by this question, but was still able to answer her. "Lily, dear, it was… staff business."
"Oh."
-×-
"Well?" an eager James questioned as soon as Arabella walked through the door.
"Well what?" She asked, pretending to not know what James was talking about, but she knew he was worried – after all, it was his fault that Lily was in the hospital wing in the first place. It had been about two weeks since their break up, and James was already regretting it. He had humiliated her, he had unwanted her, he had hurt her and made her cry for endless nights, and the worst part was: he had done those things because he thought she'd done things she never did, and never would do.
James looked agitated. He glanced at the four people standing beside him: Melissa, Sirius, Remus and Peter. He'd hoped they'd help him, but he knew Melissa would find out later, Peter was too daft to take a hint, Remus looked tired, and Sirius had a sly, knowing smirk on his face.
Finally, after he had had a silent debate with himself, he spoke up again. "How is… uh… is Lily – uh…" He was at a loss for words. He knew what he wanted to say, but he felt embarrassed. This was one of Lily's best friends he was facing. He knew she probably hated him for putting Lily through all the mess he did, but she couldn't really blame him. She hadn't helped her much either.
The girl sighed. She knew he was blaming himself, so she decided not to put him through too much misery. "Why don't you go visit her tonight? After dinner?" she suggested. James' face brightened up. Of course! He thought. Why didn't I think of that? He mentally hit himself for being so dumb. He gave Bella a smile of gratitude. She nodded back, and then walked away to the girls' dorms with Melissa right behind her.
"James, what're you going to say to her when you get there?" Sirius asked, as soon as the girls were out of hearing range. James looked at him blankly. Sirius was right – what was he going to say, exactly? And how was he going to say it? He knew exactly what he wanted to say: 'Lily, I'm so sorry for being such an arrogant jerk. I should have listened to you and not some Slytherin I'd never met before. Please forgive me', but easier said than done. It takes a lot for a guy like him to admit he was wrong, but for Lily, it was worth it. The problem is: will she accept him back?
The other three Marauders were watching James' reaction carefully; they could see he was deep in thought. Sirius knew almost exactly what he was thinking. He and James practically shared the same brain. Besides, they certainly shared the same look anyway, just minus the glasses. He also spent almost all his time at James' house, if he wasn't at Hogwarts, of course, in fact, if you didn't know those two well enough, you'd have mistaken them for brothers.
Remus didn't know exactly what was going through James' head, but he could guess. Remus was brilliant at deduction; if he guessed something, you can bet that 9 times out of 10 that it would be dead on. He had sandy hair, with deep grey eyes. He was smart – really smart, almost smarter than James, in fact, he probably would have been if he wasn't sick at least once a month, for a reason only the four of them and Lily knew.
Peter, on the other hand, was squinting his eyes trying to make something out of James' expression, but he was dumb, and dumb was an understatement. He was small and mousey, and always went along with what others said for he was unable to make a decent decision for himself.
James looked up from his deep thinking to be greeted once again by Sirius' smirk, Remus' daze, and Peter's 'what-on-earth-is-going-on' expression.
"She'll accept you back, Prongs, as long as you alter your ego." Sirius laughed.
James smirked back. Tonight – after dinner, then. He decided.
-×-
"She's okay," Arabella smiled. Melissa sighed in relief.
"Great. Hey, why don't we visit her after dinner – we have to make sure James doesn't hurt Lily again, 'cause if he does, he is so going to be mincemeat, and I'll personally make sure of that!" Melissa joked, punching one of her hands with the other rolled up into a fist in front of her like she meant business.
Bella giggled. "Sure." She agreed. "Hopefully Jason will be there too." She sighed with a dreamy look on her face.
"Jason who?" Melissa's eyes widened. "Ooh! Bella's got a cru-ush!" she said in a sing-song voice, causing Bella to glare at her and chuck a pillow in her direction.
"Awwww! You really do!!! How sweet! Ask him out – tonight!" Melissa giggled as she dodged the pillow. Bella blushed.
-×-
Lily finished her dinner which has been a special delivery from the Hogwarts Kitchens. She leaned back on her bed feeling very content. She smiled secretly to herself. She couldn't wait to get out of here and resume her normal classes. She looked up as the door opened. Her smile grew wider. Company. About time too!
"Hey Jason!"
"Hay is what cows eat. Don't I deserve better? (Lily rolled her eyes but couldn't help but smile) You seem in a very good mood." Jason laughed as he sat on the bed next to her. "Ready for your first catch-up session?"
She nodded – she had missed out on too much already: four days of work to do. If she was going to be stuck in hospital for another one month, three weeks and three days, she may as well do the best catching up she can. Jason smiled at her and took out a pile of books: Herbology, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Care of Magical Creatures, Charms, Transfiguration, Arithmancy, Divination, and last but not least, Astronomy.
Astronomy…she thought. It reminded her of her corner. Her dark and lonely corner, where she sat waiting… waiting for night after night with tears in her eyes. Who was she waiting for anyway? She wasn't sure; all she knew was she had been waiting – waiting for that someone. The someone who never came.
She gazed at the pile. So many books… such thick books too!
Jason must have picked up on this thought. "You'll live through them, being Lily, after all." He laughed. She looked back up at him and smiled. She looked back down at the books. Yeah… I will… she encouraged herself and, plastering a determined look on her face, nodded.
"Which one first? You have plenty of choices." Jason asked with a smirk.
"Um…" Lily began. Her gaze fell to the Astronomy book. Her eyes re-filled with sorrow, thinking about how she'd stayed there and cried her eyes out over life, over James. Sure James no longer hated her and no longer thought bad of her, but she couldn't stop thinking that he should have trusted her more. She couldn't stop thinking that he was to blame for her cuts and bruises – emotionally and physically. What could a few pictures prove? She couldn't stop thinking about his face, his eyes. Yes, those once warm and inviting eyes that had turned cold and icy so quickly it scared her. She couldn't stop thinking that the past two weeks would replay itself in the future if she ever got back with him.
"Lily, you okay?" Jason's voice brought her back to reality once again.
"Yeah…" she muttered. She forced a smile upon herself and looked up. This time, she got a proper look at Jason. He had deep brown eyes – the same deep brown eyes that James had that captivated her six years ago. He had dark hair – darker than James'. It was black; black like the darkness that had surrounded her not too long ago. His skin was a soft tan, a bit darker than James'.
Why am I comparing him to James?! She thought as she shook herself from her thoughts. Her eyes fell upon his lips. His lips were smooth and were still smirking, but what she noticed most was the little bit of chocolate in the corner of his lips. She half giggled, half snorted – the combined sound was rather weird. Jason frowned at her.
"What?" he asked.
"I –," Lily began to laugh. "I – you – still have your desert on your – face!" she blurted out, with every gap in her sentence filled with her resounding laughter. Jason's frown deepened as he blushed lightly and began to wipe his mouth trying to get what was left of his chocolate cake off him, but he didn't have a mirror so his attempts were in vain.
"Here." Lily offered, lifting a hand and placing it on his cheek, gently wiping off the chocolate with her thumb when the door burst open to reveal none other than the man she had been thinking of non-stop – James.
-×-
A/N: Is that a cliff-hanger? I hope not… uh… -ducks as rotten tomatoes are thrown her way- uh… whoops? ():D
I also realised that my starry things don't show up
I would still like to thank all my reviewers! You all rock so much!!! It's a shame I couldn't get up to twenty-two with the last chapter, but never mind, it doesn't matter; seven reviews for the last one is really great too! :D Let's see if this one can do just as well, yes? Or better yet, let's see if this one can do even better! :D
Well, I've just finished my S.A.Ts (finished on Friday) so yeah, I finally had time to finish this chapter as well! :D I'm not setting how many reviews I want for this chapter, but let's just say, the more reviews I get, the happier I am, and the happier I am, the better the fic gets (and the faster I update), and the better the fic gets, the happier you all are, and hopefully, the happier you are, the more you review, and the more you review, the happier I am… get the picture? -
-3 Always,
-3 Cryst
AKA LivingDreams