Enduring Darkness
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or any of its characters…
A/N: This fic is AU… so don't come up to me and go 'oh that never happens' cause I know it doesn't. This is a fanfic, not a copy of the real thing. (Sorry if that sounded harsh and rude, I've just had some people email me it before so yeah.)
2nd A/N: Okay, I'm trying out POV's, so if you have high reading standards, I suggest you skip till the '-×-' a while down, even if the POV's are the most angst-y.
SIX -×- Darkness Surrounding
After witnessing the sight before him of Lily, the love of his life, caressing the cheek of what looked like a mirror image of him, James stormed away. Lily ran. Jason swore.
Melissa and Arabella, who had just arrived, stared in confusion. The rest of the Marauders glanced at each other, mouthing the words 'uh-oh'.
"What… just happened?" Bella asked, after three blurry figures just rushed past her, each chasing the one before them.
-×James×-
I ran. I didn't know where I was running to, I didn't even know where I was, but I knew one thing for sure: Lily had moved on, and left me. How could she do this to me?! I had a perfect speech planned to get her back, to tell her how much I loved her and how sorry I was for not trusting her more, but I guess that was too late. I heard a faint 'James!' behind me, but it was most likely my imagination. I didn't turn to look behind me. I was scared. What if Lily was behind me and saw me like this? I didn't want her to see how much it affected me – how much it pained me that she was with someone else. I turned a corner and ran on. Being sporty does have its uses. My cheeks began to feel wet. Very wet. Was I sweating that badly? I raised an arm to wipe it off, but then I realised: it wasn't sweat.
-×Lily×-
There he was, right in front of me, running. I followed, calling his name, but he ignored me. Tears flowed freely down my face. Why wouldn't he let me explain?! I knew I'd lost his trust once again. I knew it was my fault. I should have known James may look at it the wrong way, but I didn't even know he was coming! Why do these things happen to me? Why? Merlin! What'd I do wrong?
I continued to follow him, running as if my life depended on it… my life did depend on it. On him. On James. I needed him. He was my happiness, my joy, my love, and I'd lost him. All over again.
No! I shook these thoughts out of my head. I wouldn't lose him. He still loved me… he was just… insecure, that's all. We'll be together again.
I looked at the slowly disappearing figure in front of me. Who was I trying to kid? He'll never like me again. Not now. And it was my entire fault.
-×James×-
I'd lost her. I knew it from the moment I saw her in the hospital wing with… whoever it was. I'd lost her for good this time. Tears out of my eyes. I let them. I'd never cried before. Never in my life had I felt so much pain. I loved her. I loved her so much I could die for her, but maybe that is the only thing I could ever do – die for her, and die loving her, even if I was never with her in life, I'd still die loving her. She'd never want me back. She has him now. He was probably one million times better than I was. He probably never would have forsaken her like I did. He probably never would have left her because of some fake pictures.
I felt like my heart had once again been stabbed a million times. It was the same feeling as the one I felt when I saw those pictures. My heart had been torn in two then, but something at the back of my head told me that it wasn't like that. Wasn't like what the pictures showed, but I decided to ignore that little message. I had to go and break it up with her. I felt so stupid. I'd thrown away love. Thrown away my life. Thrown away her, the sole thing that meant everything in the world to me. What kind of stupidity made me do such things? I was sure she hated me by now. She probably never wanted to talk to me again – ever.
I continued to run until I could run no longer. I was out of breath, and that would be saying something. I was never out of breath, but I guessed that my tears had weakened me. I had never shown any signs of weakness before. Ever. It just wasn't in my system. I brushed away my tears with anger. How could I let this happen? I couldn't grow weak. Not now. Lily was probably having the time of her life with her new boyfriend, yet I was here, crying over spilt milk. There was no longer any point in my tears. They were cold emotionless tears. I let the last tear fall down, and then frowned. Never again. Never again will I become so weak. Never again would I cry. Never again would I care so much. This was the end. The end of my love for her. I can't show any more signs of weakness. Especially not in front of her. I would forget. Forget everything that ever happened between us. I would act like it never happened – none of it. None of our perfect kisses, none of our love. It wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth getting hurt over. I growled. I was angry. How could a simple girl do this to me? Never again. I vowed. It would never happen again.
My decision was final.
I looked in front of me. Nothing was there. Nothing but pitch darkness. Where was I? I looked behind me. Darkness. How did I run into darkness without even realising it? Then I knew. It was because of my grief – but that was now a thing of the past. I stared. I didn't know where I was staring, or what I was staring at, but I still stared. My eyes had adjusted by now – I was sure they had, but everything was still dark, darker than the darkest midnights, but I was sure it was only twilight outside. Then, I heard voices…
-×Lily×-
There I was again, in my corner. My faithful, secretive corner. My eyes were bloodshot from crying yet again. I'd chased him for what felt like forever. I called his name so many times I'd lost count, yet he still ignored me. I guess it was what I deserved. It was my fault.
I turned my face to look out the window. It was only twilight. The sky was a beautiful purplish-pink, but right now, nothing could be beautiful. I'd lost my sole purpose in living – James. He was all I ever wanted, all I ever dreamed about, and we were together. Together for many years… many happy years, but I went and screwed it all up. How could I have been so stupid? He finally forgave me for the lie Jasmine made, and then he sees me with Jason. He would have got the wrong impression. I know he would have. I knew James well enough. He'd never listen to my explanations. He probably never wanted to see me again. That's why he ran.
I'd chased him so far. If I'd actually looked around me whilst running, I'd probably have noticed that I'd practically run around the whole school, but I didn't notice. I was too busy trying to get James' attention. I was no match for him. He could out run me any day, and he did. I'd lost him after he turned a corner. I didn't know where he had gone, but I knew that from the moment I'd lost him around the corner, I'd lost him forever. He'd never want me back.
Another tear fell out of my eye. I was still staring out the window, but I had not moved from my corner. It was dark in my corner. Darker than any dark there'd ever been before. The light from outside had never been able to reach my corner. This corner was where I went to be depressed. This corner was where I went to cry till my hearts content. I'd often come after a little row with James, but even if it was only a little row, it hurt. Every time we had one of those rows, another invisible gash appeared in my heart. Now it felt like my heart had been cut up so badly it hardly existed anymore.
I loved him. I'd have given anything to be back with him. Anything. I loved him so much that I would have used my own life to replace his if ever need be. I loved him so much, but I knew that this love will from now on be forever unrequited.
-×-
"Dumbledore – I…" A hooded figure began, but stopped abruptly when Dumbledore held up his hand. Dumbledore gazed intently at the face beneath the hood behind his half-moon spectacles.
"I do not think it was your fault. However, I think I am right to presume she would currently be extremely depressed…" at this, the four other people standing in front of Dumbledore's desk glanced at the one who firstly spoke: two of them looking at him very accusingly. The man beneath the dark robe lowered his head in shame.
Dumbledore continued on, "I am also guessing that this would be another time that he would strike. He has many followers – quite a lot at this school, in fact. He may easily choose another to provoke her. You must be very careful. Protect her the best you can. Right now, you have a perfect excuse to be near her and get to know her better. Do not ruin this opportunity. I trust that Clara will take good care of her also?"
The person from the right nodded.
"Well then, I suppose you had better find her, no?" Dumbledore half smiled then nodded to the door. Everyone began to make their way out.
-×-
James hid behind a knight's statue. It wasn't exactly difficult to hide. It was pitch black anyway. Nobody could see a thing. He heard a voice say "lumos".
Damn. James cursed under his breath. Why didn't I think of that?
Five hooded figures walked out of nowhere and went their separate ways. James held in his breath as a couple of them walked past him. They looked rather familiar, though James couldn't think from where as he saw their disappearing backs. Only when he was sure they had all left had he come out from behind his knight, only to hear another voice behind him.
"Come in, James."
-×-
A/N: Was that angst-y enough? I had a reviewer say 'the first chapter was very angst-y, till it all went downhill', well, to be honest, the first chapter wasn't meant to be angst… it just came. Anyway, was that another cliffy? I'm sorry!!! Well, at least you know a little bit more about the 'hooded figures' haha. More Marauders next time, I promise.
Thank you to all those who reviewed, once again, you have seriously made my day! Please, please, please, please continue to review!!! You don't know how happy it makes me. As I've said before: I hardly get any reviews, so when I saw I actually got reviews, I was overjoyed!!!
Once again, no set number of reviews that I would like before the next chapter is posted, but it'd be very nice to get some more!
PLEASE READ: I am currently writing an original fic on fictionpress.com, it's called 'Jewel'. I would very much appreciate it if you would go and RR!
Here's the summary: It was the jewel's fault. It was the jewel that had caused her best friend's death, her father's insanity, and her mother's imprisonment, and, worst of all, her forbidden love.
Sound okay?
Here's a little extract:
'She was clutching something in her hand: a stone – no, a jewel. A jewel that would have shone through the darkest nights and your deepest fears. A jewel that would have saved you from anything if you called upon it. A jewel that would have destroyed the monsters that lurked in your worst nightmares; but why didn't it? Simple. If you'd have observed the jewel closely, closer than you'd ever observed anything before, you'd have noticed that it was broken – sliced in half, yet it looked perfectly natural; like the jewel was made that way; no, that's not right, for it was never made. It had just appeared. Appeared one day in the girl's bedroom, and turned her whole world upside down.'
Sound any better?
Here's the link: fiction press. com/ read. php ?storyid=1607086
Make sure you don't have a gap between 'fiction' and 'press' and stuff and that you put 'www.' in front, 'cause ff.net doesn't let me put the actual link on, weirdly enough.
Just one thing: My username on there is 'LivingDream' not 'LivingDreams' because someone already took that username…
Thank you all!
-3 Always,
-Cryst
AKA LivingDreams
-http:www.livejournal.com/users/tintedroses