How Much I Care

Bulma, the present one, had reappeared. Gokou was thankful for this. He did not think he could face the melancholy eyes that belonged to Mirai Bulma. She crossed her arms over her chest and watched him for a few moments.

"Slap in the face."

He stared at her for a moment, thinking of asking her what she meant by that or if he'd heard wrong.

"You really needed a slap in the face."

He nodded silently. Not in accord, but because he seemed to have lost his voice. Now that he was alone to reflect on what he'd seen and been told, he understood and sat on what seemed to be nothing as helplessness washed over him.

There were footsteps for a moment as the silence pulled on. Bulma patted him on the back.

"I think I'm wrong… there's not much we can tell you anymore. I can't tell you how to treat or love your wife because then it wouldn't be the man she married, would it? But I can show you yourself making mistakes and let you alone figure out what they are, and you, yourself can choose to accept these mistakes and change them. No human being is flawless. Now, it's almost time for you to go back to your own plain and make the choice."

He soberly stared at the darkness below him as she spoke to him.

"What does it matter? What's the point of this? To tell me I'm a horrible person?"

A dark voice from inside of him said. It was his voice, but it was in a tone he'd never used before. He felt somewhat guilty that he agreed a little bit with what it said, but Bulma nodded calmly.

"You act like it's my fault I fight. She wouldn't even be alive if my friends and I hadn't saved the world before… Why can't any of you see that?"

Bulma nodded.

"Gokou… you put fighting before your wife."

Gokou thought to protest but crossed his arms over his chest and stared back down.

"There is a difference between fighting out of selflessness and fighting out of selfishness. I'm afraid… you're a bit more power hungry than you think."

"I would nev-"

"You began fighting to save people and then you trained to stay strong just in case. Now, you fight to stay strong because you want to be the best. It's always been an ambition, you're only mortal and no one can expect that you wouldn't. This is one of the few things that cause you to be selfish. You would not abuse your power, given, but you still want it, more deeply than you know. And Gokou, think about it, is that what you want, really? Do you now realize how much Chi-Chi and you need each other?"

Gokou refused to respond. He lived to train. She was saying there was a difference between being power hungry and abusing power but as far as he was concerned, he couldn't see it. And he above all people would never abuse his power. Bulma went on with a sigh upon no response.

"No, you are not a horrible person, Gokou. No one ever said you were. But please heed what we have shown you. Please see your mistakes and correct them should you choose to do so. No one here is forcing you to do anything. I'm going to go ahead and show you the last thing I wanted to show you before you go."

His heart leapt. He was going to leave this place soon. He silently hoped for no more sorrowful memories or visions. He couldn't handle another one such as the one with Mirai Chichi.

"Do you know how long you've been asleep, Gokou?"

He shrugged.

"Only a few short hours?"

She laughed.

"It's been days. In your world, an entire week passed by since you left. When you fell asleep, it'd only been a few days."

He stared angrily at her but didn't say anything.

"I'm going to go ahead and let you see this with no further conversation. You're on a time limit this time without a guide. I can answer no questions so don't bother asking and wasting time. You will be slipping between this world and the real world so you will probably feel things like a breeze or something maybe hear, but keep in mind that as soon as you open your eyes in the real world you will not be able to access this world again. You understand that as soon as you finish you will wake up remembering everything and it will be your choice as to what to do?"

He nodded.

"Yet another gift is that you will remember this vividly. As time passes, you may or may not forget. It depends on you and it depends on them."

"Who are they?"

Bulma smiled.

"I don't really know. I'm just here playing hostess until you wake up. That's why we've been trading turns, don't you know? Time goes by here so much slower than in the real world so by the time you got out of one memory, a day had passed and two would wake up and one would sleep. In the real world, none of us had particularly known about this schedule, and when I wake up I won't know so when you ask me don't wonder why I think you're crazy. I don't really think you need to know a lot. You weren't here to receive the secrets of the universe."

He nodded a bit.

"Now, goodnight, or good morning, or good afternoon. Whatever you'd like to take it as. I'll see you."

With a pat, she left, and once again Gokou was confused.

A little bit of light burst from the abyss far away. Gokou was either running towards it or it was coming towards him, or both, because it seemed to have been getting bigger and bigger. He then realized that neither had been moving towards each other, it was just enlarging. The picture was gray.

Once it was large enough, he stuck his hand out to touch it. It looked as if it were just a picture, but his hand seeped through and he stared at it after he ranked it back for a few moments. Then, it was large enough for his entire body to fit through. He stepped in.

It was very cold and it was raining but he seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. He found to his agitation he could not fly up but there was no sign of his cottage or anything else. Just trees. So many trees.

After walking amongst them for a many moments, it was pitch black.

The train poured on. He was soaked, so cold, so wet. He shivered.

Then, the world sank and he could feel rain beating on his eyelids. He flinched but panicked, having not seen what he was supposed to see and kept his eyes closed. His mind eventually seeped back into the dream… back into the gray place.

As far as he could tell, he hadn't moved an inch from when he… well, he assumed he'd almost waken up. Faster, he hurried to find what he was looking for.

Gokou came to a gentle clearing and saw a cottage after the blur of the rain. This was his, he was sure. He jogged inside, but there was nothing but the abyss there. It was not like before, so he knew that he wasn't on verge of waking up, but it was more like a hint that he was not supposed to go in that direction.

He exited and walked among the trees that framed the cottage.

He knew what he was looking for. Chi-Chi.

She couldn't have gone far, and the rivers and ponds nearby were most likely flooding. He doubted she would go near them.

Walking around the trees, more looking for ideas than anything, he noticed a blotch of purple by one particularly large tree out a few yards from the cottage. Jogging that direction, he became more and more sure it was Chi-Chi leaning by the tree.

He crouched down before her, tried to feel her, but his hand slipped through even though he noticed he'd felt more solid than he had before. He took that as a particularly bad sign.

"Chi-Chan?"

He whispered. She looked towards his direction and his heart leaped, surprised he'd been noticed, but it sank and she sighed and went back to tracing something with her finger. He looked up.

Chi-Chi & Gokou

I love you.

The little heart… He understood now. At least everything that he was supposed to know, and for the first time, it was okay only having what he was supposed to.

Wrapping his arms around her, he gave her a hug that she once again seemed to notice only for a second and allowed the solidness to take over him.

Once again the raindrops were beating on his body. It was uncomfortable, especially around his eyes. He did not relax his mind, instead, he pulled his eyes open.

It was over.

He knew what to do.

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