Chapter 7: The Cliched Enemy
Harumi screamed as she pounded on the keyboard.

What's wrong? Something taking too long to download? Natsumi asked drolly.

No! It's these stupid fanfics! Harumi explained loudly.

What's wrong? Can't think of just the right way to get you and Seiya into a romance together? Natsumi teased.

It has NOTHING to do with Seiya, you idiot! shouted Harumi.

Then what is it? asked the mildly curious blond.

All these darn fanfics have dumb cliches in them. Overly perfect characters named Sailor Earth', Sailor Sun' or even worse, Sailor Universe' who always save the original Senshi and are the most powerful in the galaxy. It makes me sick; perfect characters are so disgusting and boring!! Harumi ranted.

That's nothing to break the computer over. Let me see the stories. They might be useful, Akimi said calmly, entering the room.

Sure, you can see them. Then you'll see how bad they are, grumbled Harumi. She let Akimi take her seat in front of the monitor. Instead of getting angry like her hot-headed friend, Akimi merely smiled. Harumi backed away, shaking her head.

Y-you LIKE those perfectly cliched characters? she gasped.

They'll work just fine, grinned Akimi, rubbing her hands together like a stereotypical mad scientist.

Taiki and Chibi-Usa arrived back at the Tsukino residence later. Usagi greeted them at the door, thankfully.

Usagi, we have something to tell you about Ami, Chibi-Usa whispered, so that their parents wouldn't hear. The news about herself, Usagi, and Taiki being Sailor Senshi, not to mention Taiki's alien status, was shocking enough for Ikuko and Kenji; they didn't need to hear that one of Usagi's friends now reversed gender with the mere application of water to her skin. Usagi opened her door, and Chibi-Usa came in. They waited. No sign of Taiki. Chibi-Usa shrugged and closed the door, as well as any other thing in the room that could leak out their secrets.

Usagi. Ami turned into a boy when she was splashed by cold water. One of the enemies did it to her. She, err, he is at home right now with Kakyuu, and they're trying to figure out how to reverse the spell, Chibi-Usa informed her future mother. Usagi fell down on her butt in utter shock and disbelief.

No way...Ami's a boy now? she breathed.

Yeah. I just wanted to tell you if you see Ami, don't get too scared if you see Ami's body looking different, Chibi-Usa said awkwardly. She looked nervously towards the door. Where was Taiki, anyway? Why didn't he follow them? Chibi-Usa crept out of Usagi's room and tiptoed over to where Taiki's makeshift room was. She pressed her ear against the wall and listened intently.

She could hear him talking in there to someone.

Yes, Princess, this is Kou Taiki...Ami was cured...no, calm down, I needed to talk to you about her...of course, Princess, that's the problem, you're not supposed to be getting that friendly with an Earth girl...Princess, it's for your own good, you're of royal birth and you must marry royalty...no, you must NOT forget that...yes, goodbye, Princess. Hearing him hang up, Chibi-Usa waited for a few seconds, then creaked the door open.

Umm...hello? I just wanted to know what was going on, she said shyly.

Please leave, miss, this is my private time, Taiki scolded calmly but coldly, and he slammed the door shut. To add insult to injury, a shadow fell over Chibi-Usa.

What are you doing, young lady? You needn't interfere in his affairs, Ikuko reprimanded her.

And he was calling Kakyuu Princess' and told her she shouldn't be with Ami! Chibi-Usa exclaimed as she and Usagi strolled through the door of the ice cream parlor.

That's mean! Just because he stays apart from our family doesn't mean Kakyuu has to do the same to Ami, Usagi added. Someone tapped her on the shoulder.

Excuse me, miss dumpling-hair, can I have a word with you? asked a polite voice.

What exactly do you want? Usagi asked. The girl had rainbow-striped hair and was stunningly beautiful in her white Sailor Senshi outfit.

I'd like to tell you who I am. Sometimes I am the practical Terra, aka Sailor Earth. Other days I am the fiery Solara, Sailor Sun. But most of all, I am Sailor Perfection, the Fanfiction Cliche! announced the girl. Usagi was confused.

You're a WHAT?! Are you here to help us? Because we would like some help against this strange enemy who thinks we're anime characters, she said.

You ARE an anime character, just as I am a fanfiction character, Sailor Perfection answered. She took a look at a point in the sky, then continued. I'm your best friend. I'm the one who saves the day. I sacrifice myself in the name of good. Everyone loves me.

Look, whoever you are, I don't know HOW you can be a fictional character and be real, but how are you my friend? We've never met, and we're not starting off very well, Usagi snapped.

We're starting off perfectly, don't fool yourself, poor girl. Don't you see? I'm the hero of this story, Sailor Perfection said smugly, brushing one of Usagi's pigtails with her gloved hand.

Usagi, this might be an enemy trick. Let's transform for safety, Chibi-Usa whispered, pulling Usagi towards the bathroom.

Oh? Where are you going? Don't be afraid of me, I'm here to save you like I always do, Sailor Perfection said innocently. She began to follow the two Moon bunnies as they entered the bathroom.

Look, if you're so perfect, then give us some privacy, Usagi snarled, and she shut the door hard. Sailor Perfection's nose got bonked in the process, and she stumbled backward, crashing into a table.

AAAAH!!! I tripped! I did something imperfect! she screamed as she melted away like the ice cream in the shop. Usagi and Chibi-Usa peeked out and saw the melting girl.

What happened? Usagi asked.

I think she self-destructed because she fell, which meant she wasn't perfect, Chibi-Usa said, rather weirded out by the whole situation.

Drat! I thought she'd be the PERFECT one to destroy that obnoxious pink yam-head! spat Akimi, who had watched Sailor Perfection's demise on their magic computer.

Yes! Take that, overly perfect character! cheered Harumi. Akimi glared at her.

That perfect character' was meant to get rid of Chibi-Usa. She could've killed Usagi, one you don't like, too, she growled.

Sorry. I added the self-destruct thing myself. I just couldn't stand her, Harumi said, hanging her head sheepishly.

What's wrong, Kakyuu? We found a cure for my water problem, Ami said. She found Kakyuu in their bedroom, seeming oddly troubled by something.

Taiki thinks I shouldn't be friendly with you. Okay, I'll come clean, Ami, I was the Princess of Kinmoku, the planet I'm from. But I'm not the Princess of anything anymore, now that Kinmoku is gone. Why would Taiki want me to give up something that helps me deal with the sadness of losing my home? Kakyuu sighed. Ami shook her head; she didn't have an answer to that.