If Harry Potter did Adverts….
They'd be the best Adverts in the world!
Disclaimer: -Sighs- I don't own the Harry Potter franchise nor do I own whatever Product I use to humiliate the characters aforementioned! -Goes off in sulk-
A/N: HEY PEEPS! I finally got my arse into gear and decided to update –Cheers- Sorry this has been taking so long.. I'm not a very reliable person when It's comes to stuff like this… but I do try! Well Enjoy!
Ad 4: Urge To herbal!
DIR: HEY! This one could be interesting… Hmmmm. Right Lets start!
REMY: Er… Just what are we doing… I think we have a right to know since we are participating.
SIRI: Yeah! I wanna know why I'm so scantily clad! –Glares at director-
DIR: For the last time we're doing the Herbal Essences advert. Will you guys try and not forget after five minutes!!!! And you're dressed like that because there is a bit where two men walk in scantily clad OKAY!!!!
- Remus and Sirius sulk off-
DRA: There isn't really a scantily clad bit is there? You just wanted to see them in practically next to nothing!
DIR: MOI! Think such perverted thoughts and use my job to live them…. I think not my dear Draco. And besides there IS a scantily clad bit so NEH!!! The reasoning is that they are the only two who are of age that will actually look okay if they walked in like that! I couldn't exactly send Hagrid and Albus in together could I?
HAR: Good point! But I still reckon you just wanted to see their butts!
DIR: -Groans- I DO NOT!!!! Right urge to Herbal take one and….. ACTION!!!!
-Camera pans to a courtroom where Snape is sitting in the Dock NOT looking impressed-
SNA: WHY DO I GET THIS ADVERT!!!! This is cruel and unfair!!!
DIR: CUT!!!!! –Sighs- Because it's funny to skit at your Hygiene, so just quit moaning and get on with it!!!!
SNA: You had this ready for me from the beginning didn't you!
DIR: Would you be offended if I said yes?
SNA: OF COURSE I BLOODY WOULD!!!!!
DIR: Well then of course not Sev….. It was just coincidence! –Smirks evilly-
SNA: -Mutters- Bloody biased bitch!
DIR: -Singsong- I heard that!
SNA: GOOD!! IT WOULD HAVE BEEN WASTED IF YOU HADN'T!!
DIR: -Sighs- Come on Sev…. You're getting paid so quit complaining PWEASEEEEEE!!! Otherwise I'll be forced to use my secret weapon.
SNA: And what pray tell would that be….?
DIR: -Whispers in ear-
SNA: -Looks traumatized- You wouldn't dare!
DIR: Oh but I would…. So you better do this or else!
SNA: -Gulps- Okay!
DIR: Good! Glad you've seen things my away..
SNA: Only raging rhino's could see things your way.
DIR: True… but you still have to do what I say. Okay REDO!
-Take 2-
DIR: Right let's get this one done…. I don't want any complaining whatsoever.
ALL: -Unenthusiastic- OKAY!
DIR: Right urge to herbal, Take 2 and…… ACTION!!!!
-Camera pans to courtroom-
SNA: I object to that comment!! –Stands up and bangs on table-
DUM (As judge): Mr Snape I urge you to sit down…..
RANDOM FEMALE VOICE: URGE….. OOOOOO
-Stupid urge to herbal music comes on-
CHOIR: He's got the urge…. He's got the urge to HERBAL!
-Remus and Sirius walk in and down isle singing-
SIRI; -Really getting into it- OHHH YEAHHH! He's got the urge to herbal, coz he's a greasy git……
SNAPE: -Looks highly offended and flicks wand-
REMY: He's got the ur….. WHAAAAA -Falls flat on face over carefully concealed magical tripwire- OWWWWW!!!
SIR: -Falls over Remus- WHAT THE BLEEP WAS THAT!!!!!
DIR: CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!! WTF IS GOING ON!!!!! AM I CURSED OR SOMETHING!!!!!!
SNA: I could gladly see to that situation. -Evil grin-
DIR: -Glares- No thanks!
REMY: -Muffled- MMMMMMMMMMMM
SIRI: -Gets up- What was that Moony?
REMY I said that it was a tripwire and get off me as you're squashing my liver.
SIRI: Oh! –Looks confused- Your LIVER???
REMY: I don't know either…. It just occurred to me. -Shrugs-
DIR: -Whistles innocently-
SIRI: SNAPE YOU BLOODY UNHYGENIC GIT!!!!!
DIR: Boys, boys there is no need to fight…..
SIRI & SNA: STAY OUT OF THIS!!!!!!!
DIR: HEY I'm giving you work!!! RESPECT MY AUTHORITAR!!!!!! -Snaps fingers-
-All participants in fight freeze on the spot-
DIR: Better, much better. REDO!!
A/N: This is kinda a private joke between Johnny, me and S.J and is really hard to explain
Take: 6
DIR: Come ON you lazy bums!!!! Let's get this right!!!!
ALL: -Groan-
DIR: HEY!!! Don't give me that!!!!
SNA: Just face it NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!!!
DIR: Like I care! Herbal essences- Take 6 and ACTION!!!
SNA: I object to the outrageous comment made -Bangs fist-
DUM: I urge you to sit down Mr Snape…..
RFV: URGE….. OOOOOOOOOOOOOO
- Stupid music again-
CHOIR: He's got the URGE!!!.... He's got the URGE TO HERBAL
-Door opens admitting a scantily clad Crabbe and Goyle-
ALL: -Look thoroughly, THOROUGHLY ill-
DIR: OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!! THAT IS JUST TOO MUCH!!!! CUUUUUTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!
-Director has a random tantrum which can not be added due to the amount of expletives used-
DIR: -Pants- Okay that's better…. Now WHO told Crabbe and Goyle they were in this ad?!?
DRA: -Backs away slowly-
DIR: DRACO!!!!!
DRA: IT WASN'T ME!!!!! THE DARK LORD MADE ME DO IT!!!!!!
DIR: Yeah, yeah excuses, excuses. I don't care! Just someone PLEASE! Get those two boulders outta here before I decided to toss my cookies or curse you into oblivion!!!!
-Crabbe and Goyle are escorted outside-
DIR: -Still looks pale- Okay REDO!!!!
Take 24:
DIR: Okay people…. Lets get this one done!!!! PLLLLLLEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE!!!!!
SNA: You know you really need to change your day job!
DIR: SHUT UP! And get your lines right this time!!
SNA: Hey it wasn't my fault!!! Those two oafs were just asking for the insult!!
REMY & SIRI: HEY WHO ARE YOU CALLING OAFS!!!!
DIR: Boys, boys calm down otherwise you will be getting NO PAY!!
ALL: AWWWW MEANIE!!!!
DIR: ENOUGH!!!! Urge to herbal, Take 24 and action!!
SNA: I OBJECT to that outrageous comment made!!!
DUM: I urge you to sit down Mr Snape……
RFV: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…………. URGE!!!!!
-Stupid music again-
CHOIR: He's got the URGE….. He's got the URGE to HERBAL!!!
- Doors bang open and Remus and Sirius stride in singing and brandishing a bottle of shampoo-
REMY & SIRI: Oh he's got the urge, he's got the urge to herbal!!!!
-Random shower bit with someone using the shampoo and moaning inappropriately-
Back in courtroom
SNA: Oh WOW!!! -Cheesy grin-
DIR: And that's a wrap!!! OH YEAH PEOPLE!!!! –Does MAJOR happy dance-
ALL: -Cheer loudly-
DIR: That's all for now! Take a break!