Amnesia

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I just borrowed Lex and I promise to give him back unharmed.

Notes: This has spoilers for the begining of Season 3 but that is about it.

My memories are gone... my thoughts... how can I know that my mind and thoughts have not been tampered with?.. Shock therepy, after all.

My memories... what happened in those missing months that has people tip-toeing around me?

These thoughts that I think about people... so violent sometimes... how can they be mine? Has my amnesia drug out of my subconscious some hitherto unknown part of my psyche?

Those people that look at me as though I am going to snap at any moment... do they know what happened in those missing months?.. or are they just reacting to the fact that I was in Belle Reve?

My memories are gone... my thoughts... are different. I can never know these things... and the people who were there... none of them will tell me anything.

They all just tell me that I don't want to know. Why would I not want to know? The very foundations of my thoughts are based on history and knowledge. And now... so much is gone. So many memories missing... months gone.

I know that the things that happened... they had an impact on the people around me. My father is hiding something important from me- something more than usual. So is Clark. He has always lied to me... but now... Now he lies about almost everything. Now.. he seems nervous... uncomfortable, around me. What did I do... say... find out, about cClark that is making him so skittish?

I don't know... I just... I don't know. My memories... are gone. My thoughts... are different. I can't depend on anyone anymore. I can't trust anyone anymore... not even myself.

.

Finit