Disclaimer: This thing is for losers and idiots. If you haven't figured out
that I only own Teal'la, you are one of these.
Prodigal Son...er...Daughter
Chapter Four.
After being chased around the base for all of twelve minutes, Teal'la ran into Teal'c.
Literally.
And after convincing him that Jack was chasing with intent to bodily harm, she retreated to the mess, because her stomach was telling her to eat. But not before she witnessed Teal'c restraining Jack. She howled with laughter until Daniel got there, and then she leaned on him as tears poured from her eyes like the Niagara falls.
When she finally calmed down, she went to the mess, where she ordered an entire Pumpkin Cheesecake and a large glass of milk.
She was still working her way through the first piece when someone she didn't recognize sat down across from her.
"So. You're the new 'pet' project, huh?" he said, in a not particularly friendly way. She raised her head to look at him and raised an eyebrow, slowly, not saying a word as she tried to figure out what he was talking about. "It figures it'd be a girl." At this, she tilted her head, and went back to her Pumpkin Cheesecake. "So, what rank are they making you? Lieutenant? Corporal?" His voice dropped to a mutter. "Secretary? Personal assistant?"
"That's sexual harassment and I can sue you." she said, mildly, eating another piece of her Pumpkin Cheesecake. He snorted.
"You can only sue if you're a citizen of this planet. I think you'd have a hard time passing 'that' off as a birthmark." he said, poking her hat over her forehead. She snagged his hand and pinned it to the table, much to his surprise. She took the carving knife from the pie pan and wiped it off on the napkin, one handed. Then she pressed on his hand so that his fingers spread apart. "What are you doing?" he asked, trying to pull his hand back from her. She paid him zero heed, bringing the knife down beneath his fingers quickly and smoothly without touching him, or barely nicking the table.
He cried out as she sped up, and pleaded with her to let his hand go. She raised her eyebrow and concentrated harder, ignoring both his fidgeting and his cries of fear.
"Teal'la." came a soft voice, and she barely glanced up before driving the knife into the table between the man's forefinger and his thumb. He whimpered.
"Listen very carefully." she said, in a low, dangerous growl. "I have seen things far more horrifying and disturbing than things that you have seen in your worst, most terrible nightmare. Which makes you not intimidating in the least. If you ever...speak to me in that manner again, I will personally ensure you never say that type of thing to any member of the female sex. Do we understand each other?"
He nodded, eyes wide, jaw slack with fear. She pushed his hand away from him and pulled the knife from the table, putting it back in the pie pan. The man left, shaking. She looked at Carter and took a deep breath, returning to her pie.
"Hello, Sam." she said, and the Major stepped forward.
"What did you do to Lieutenant Rimsky?" she asked. Teal'la shrugged.
"I intimidated him. Nothing permanent, except he won't ever speak to me disrespectfully again." she said, transporting another piece of her pumpkin cheesecake to her mouth via fork. "If he knows what's good for him." she added, eyeing the doorway. Carter shook her head, sitting down across from Teal'la and looking at her.
"You can't just do that to people, Teal'la, everyone will get really paranoid, really fast, and think that you're dangerous." she said, in a tone of concerned worry. Teal'la hesitated.
"At the risk of being put back in my cage..." she started, and Carter stopped her.
"Teal'la, that's not funny." she said.
"Whoever said it was?" asked the teenager, cutting herself another slice of pie. "The man insulted me. I had to make him believe that I could actually do something about it if he made me that upset. I'm not just going to let them attack me, Sam."
"Call me Carter."
"Can't, that would confuse me, seeing as it's my first name. It's hard enough when Daniel does it." she said. Carter sighed, resting her chin in her hand.
"What are we going to do with you?" she asked. Teal'la smirked.
"Laugh at my jokes and protect me from Jack's future intentions of bodily harm?" she suggested. Carter shook her head, a smile forming on her lips.
After Carter left, Teal'la went back to peacefully eating her pie, contemplating the symbolism of her waking day. The fourth of July. Independence Day. It was a hard thing to live up to, and she knew she'd have to do a lot of good to do so. *At least I have Daniel*, she thought to herself. *I'm not alone as long as I have him.*
Almost as she thought his name, Daniel walked into the room, accompanied by Teal'c, expressionless as ever. She glanced at them and then returned to her treat. They were there for the food, not her company. And even if they wanted to talk to her, they were probably going to ask her questions, the answers to which were classified.
So when they sat down across from her, she looked at them, eyebrows raising slowly.
"Can I help you?" she asked. Daniel jumped right in.
"We just thought you might need some company." he said, and she looked at him, transferring pie from her plate to her mouth without taking her eyes off of him, shades still covering her eyes.
"Either Carter sent you to keep an eye on me, Jack sent you to make sure I stay out of his hair, George sent you to weasel information out of me, or a combination of the three." she said at last, and Daniel looked slightly alarmed. She cast her glance to Teal'c, who raised an eyebrow. "So?"
"It is a combination of the three options." he said, and she nodded.
"Can...you read minds or something?" Daniel asked, warily. Teal'la smirked.
"That would make things much simpler to deal with, wouldn't it?" she responded. Then she shook her head. "No. I can't. I'm not telepathic, to the best of my eighteen years of knowledge." she answered, taking a drink of her milk and turning her attention back to the pie. There followed an uncomfortable silence and then Teal'c tilted his head.
"May I inquire as to the occasion?" he asked, and after a moment, she looked at him, a quirky smile sliding across her face.
"Indeed." she said, and he raised an eyebrow. Daniel smiled at the icebreaker her comment provided.
"What's the occasion?" he asked, more directly. Teal'la gave a one-shoulder shrug.
"Today is my Waking day." she said, gesturing grandly with her fork. Teal'c and Daniel shared a look of confusion. "Eighteen years ago today, I woke up." Daniel's eyebrows furrowed and he looked back at Teal'la, who had busied herself with the pie in front of her, savoring each bite. His mouth worked at words that he wanted to say, but didn't know how to, and Teal'c looked at her.
"Do you not mean to say that it is your birthday?" he asked. She gave a sardonic smirk.
"I would, if I had been born." she said, casually. Teal'c merely accepted this as a logical reason and let the issue drop. After all, she was obviously not the same as the other Jaffa who wore the symbol on her brow. Daniel worked his mouth to say something, anything.
"Oh," Okay, something a bit more eloquent than that. "Well, uh, Happy...Waking Day." he finished.
"Indeed." said Teal'c and Teal'la at the same time. Daniel stared at the two of them and she looked at them, taking her sunglasses off and letting them hang from the band around her neck.
"You guys can have some pie if you'd like. It sucks to celebrate alone." she offered, and they considered briefly before nodding.
"I'll go get us some plates." Daniel said, and he got up, leaving Teal'c and Teal'la at the table. They looked very much alike with none of the others to be comparison. She looked into his eyes for a moment, as the two of them followed in the tradition of the awkward silence.
"So, did Janet's results come back yet?" she asked, not blinking or averting her gaze.
"They have indeed, Teal'la." he responded, also not blinking or looking away.
"Good." She sounded relieved, as if some weight had been lifted from her.
Daniel came back as Jack came in the mess hall, and neither Teal'c nor Teal'la looked up, both engaged in a wordlessly initiated staring contest. Jack saw the teenager and rolled his eyes, still rather upset from Teal'c pinning him to the wall.
"Oh, hey Jack, we were just celebrating Teal'la's waking day. Care to...join...us?" he asked, trailing off a bit as he noticed the staring contest. He glanced at Jack, who moved forward and waved a hand between them, to no effect.
"Right...Hammond's called a meeting, we gotta go." At this, Teal'la stood up, breaking eye contact with Teal'c and grabbing the pie tin. Jack held up a hand. "You can't come."
"Why not?" she asked. "It's about me."
They all froze and Teal'c looked at her, head tilted.
"How did you know that?"
"What else have you had to talk about since I got here? Besides, the results from my tests came back." She held up a hand as Jack opened his mouth to say something. "No, I'm not a spy, and I'm not Psychic."
"Stuck in a loop?" Jack asked, and she stopped, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Interesting deduction, but no. If I was, I would know what the meeting entailed, down the last detail. No, I guessed." Jack scowled, and his look bore the phrase 'Smarty-pants'. She smirked. Then she got serious. "If it's about me, I have a right to know." she said.
"Not in this base you don't, not without the proper security clearance." Jack countered. She stared at him for a long moment and then narrowed her eyes at him, jamming her sunglasses onto her face, pulling the brim of her hat down as far as it would go and sitting back down, her elbows making rough contact with the table.
"Fine, so get lost." she snapped. Jack shook his head.
"For crying out loud." he muttered, and then looked at them. "I don't have time for this."
He left and Daniel looked between the two of them for a moment before sighing and walking after O'Neill.
"Jack!" he called, and Teal'la ignored them. Teal'c remained for a moment longer, before rising to his feet.
"Farewell, Teal'la."
"Whatever." she said, monotonously, returning to the pie.
Prodigal Son...er...Daughter
Chapter Four.
After being chased around the base for all of twelve minutes, Teal'la ran into Teal'c.
Literally.
And after convincing him that Jack was chasing with intent to bodily harm, she retreated to the mess, because her stomach was telling her to eat. But not before she witnessed Teal'c restraining Jack. She howled with laughter until Daniel got there, and then she leaned on him as tears poured from her eyes like the Niagara falls.
When she finally calmed down, she went to the mess, where she ordered an entire Pumpkin Cheesecake and a large glass of milk.
She was still working her way through the first piece when someone she didn't recognize sat down across from her.
"So. You're the new 'pet' project, huh?" he said, in a not particularly friendly way. She raised her head to look at him and raised an eyebrow, slowly, not saying a word as she tried to figure out what he was talking about. "It figures it'd be a girl." At this, she tilted her head, and went back to her Pumpkin Cheesecake. "So, what rank are they making you? Lieutenant? Corporal?" His voice dropped to a mutter. "Secretary? Personal assistant?"
"That's sexual harassment and I can sue you." she said, mildly, eating another piece of her Pumpkin Cheesecake. He snorted.
"You can only sue if you're a citizen of this planet. I think you'd have a hard time passing 'that' off as a birthmark." he said, poking her hat over her forehead. She snagged his hand and pinned it to the table, much to his surprise. She took the carving knife from the pie pan and wiped it off on the napkin, one handed. Then she pressed on his hand so that his fingers spread apart. "What are you doing?" he asked, trying to pull his hand back from her. She paid him zero heed, bringing the knife down beneath his fingers quickly and smoothly without touching him, or barely nicking the table.
He cried out as she sped up, and pleaded with her to let his hand go. She raised her eyebrow and concentrated harder, ignoring both his fidgeting and his cries of fear.
"Teal'la." came a soft voice, and she barely glanced up before driving the knife into the table between the man's forefinger and his thumb. He whimpered.
"Listen very carefully." she said, in a low, dangerous growl. "I have seen things far more horrifying and disturbing than things that you have seen in your worst, most terrible nightmare. Which makes you not intimidating in the least. If you ever...speak to me in that manner again, I will personally ensure you never say that type of thing to any member of the female sex. Do we understand each other?"
He nodded, eyes wide, jaw slack with fear. She pushed his hand away from him and pulled the knife from the table, putting it back in the pie pan. The man left, shaking. She looked at Carter and took a deep breath, returning to her pie.
"Hello, Sam." she said, and the Major stepped forward.
"What did you do to Lieutenant Rimsky?" she asked. Teal'la shrugged.
"I intimidated him. Nothing permanent, except he won't ever speak to me disrespectfully again." she said, transporting another piece of her pumpkin cheesecake to her mouth via fork. "If he knows what's good for him." she added, eyeing the doorway. Carter shook her head, sitting down across from Teal'la and looking at her.
"You can't just do that to people, Teal'la, everyone will get really paranoid, really fast, and think that you're dangerous." she said, in a tone of concerned worry. Teal'la hesitated.
"At the risk of being put back in my cage..." she started, and Carter stopped her.
"Teal'la, that's not funny." she said.
"Whoever said it was?" asked the teenager, cutting herself another slice of pie. "The man insulted me. I had to make him believe that I could actually do something about it if he made me that upset. I'm not just going to let them attack me, Sam."
"Call me Carter."
"Can't, that would confuse me, seeing as it's my first name. It's hard enough when Daniel does it." she said. Carter sighed, resting her chin in her hand.
"What are we going to do with you?" she asked. Teal'la smirked.
"Laugh at my jokes and protect me from Jack's future intentions of bodily harm?" she suggested. Carter shook her head, a smile forming on her lips.
After Carter left, Teal'la went back to peacefully eating her pie, contemplating the symbolism of her waking day. The fourth of July. Independence Day. It was a hard thing to live up to, and she knew she'd have to do a lot of good to do so. *At least I have Daniel*, she thought to herself. *I'm not alone as long as I have him.*
Almost as she thought his name, Daniel walked into the room, accompanied by Teal'c, expressionless as ever. She glanced at them and then returned to her treat. They were there for the food, not her company. And even if they wanted to talk to her, they were probably going to ask her questions, the answers to which were classified.
So when they sat down across from her, she looked at them, eyebrows raising slowly.
"Can I help you?" she asked. Daniel jumped right in.
"We just thought you might need some company." he said, and she looked at him, transferring pie from her plate to her mouth without taking her eyes off of him, shades still covering her eyes.
"Either Carter sent you to keep an eye on me, Jack sent you to make sure I stay out of his hair, George sent you to weasel information out of me, or a combination of the three." she said at last, and Daniel looked slightly alarmed. She cast her glance to Teal'c, who raised an eyebrow. "So?"
"It is a combination of the three options." he said, and she nodded.
"Can...you read minds or something?" Daniel asked, warily. Teal'la smirked.
"That would make things much simpler to deal with, wouldn't it?" she responded. Then she shook her head. "No. I can't. I'm not telepathic, to the best of my eighteen years of knowledge." she answered, taking a drink of her milk and turning her attention back to the pie. There followed an uncomfortable silence and then Teal'c tilted his head.
"May I inquire as to the occasion?" he asked, and after a moment, she looked at him, a quirky smile sliding across her face.
"Indeed." she said, and he raised an eyebrow. Daniel smiled at the icebreaker her comment provided.
"What's the occasion?" he asked, more directly. Teal'la gave a one-shoulder shrug.
"Today is my Waking day." she said, gesturing grandly with her fork. Teal'c and Daniel shared a look of confusion. "Eighteen years ago today, I woke up." Daniel's eyebrows furrowed and he looked back at Teal'la, who had busied herself with the pie in front of her, savoring each bite. His mouth worked at words that he wanted to say, but didn't know how to, and Teal'c looked at her.
"Do you not mean to say that it is your birthday?" he asked. She gave a sardonic smirk.
"I would, if I had been born." she said, casually. Teal'c merely accepted this as a logical reason and let the issue drop. After all, she was obviously not the same as the other Jaffa who wore the symbol on her brow. Daniel worked his mouth to say something, anything.
"Oh," Okay, something a bit more eloquent than that. "Well, uh, Happy...Waking Day." he finished.
"Indeed." said Teal'c and Teal'la at the same time. Daniel stared at the two of them and she looked at them, taking her sunglasses off and letting them hang from the band around her neck.
"You guys can have some pie if you'd like. It sucks to celebrate alone." she offered, and they considered briefly before nodding.
"I'll go get us some plates." Daniel said, and he got up, leaving Teal'c and Teal'la at the table. They looked very much alike with none of the others to be comparison. She looked into his eyes for a moment, as the two of them followed in the tradition of the awkward silence.
"So, did Janet's results come back yet?" she asked, not blinking or averting her gaze.
"They have indeed, Teal'la." he responded, also not blinking or looking away.
"Good." She sounded relieved, as if some weight had been lifted from her.
Daniel came back as Jack came in the mess hall, and neither Teal'c nor Teal'la looked up, both engaged in a wordlessly initiated staring contest. Jack saw the teenager and rolled his eyes, still rather upset from Teal'c pinning him to the wall.
"Oh, hey Jack, we were just celebrating Teal'la's waking day. Care to...join...us?" he asked, trailing off a bit as he noticed the staring contest. He glanced at Jack, who moved forward and waved a hand between them, to no effect.
"Right...Hammond's called a meeting, we gotta go." At this, Teal'la stood up, breaking eye contact with Teal'c and grabbing the pie tin. Jack held up a hand. "You can't come."
"Why not?" she asked. "It's about me."
They all froze and Teal'c looked at her, head tilted.
"How did you know that?"
"What else have you had to talk about since I got here? Besides, the results from my tests came back." She held up a hand as Jack opened his mouth to say something. "No, I'm not a spy, and I'm not Psychic."
"Stuck in a loop?" Jack asked, and she stopped, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Interesting deduction, but no. If I was, I would know what the meeting entailed, down the last detail. No, I guessed." Jack scowled, and his look bore the phrase 'Smarty-pants'. She smirked. Then she got serious. "If it's about me, I have a right to know." she said.
"Not in this base you don't, not without the proper security clearance." Jack countered. She stared at him for a long moment and then narrowed her eyes at him, jamming her sunglasses onto her face, pulling the brim of her hat down as far as it would go and sitting back down, her elbows making rough contact with the table.
"Fine, so get lost." she snapped. Jack shook his head.
"For crying out loud." he muttered, and then looked at them. "I don't have time for this."
He left and Daniel looked between the two of them for a moment before sighing and walking after O'Neill.
"Jack!" he called, and Teal'la ignored them. Teal'c remained for a moment longer, before rising to his feet.
"Farewell, Teal'la."
"Whatever." she said, monotonously, returning to the pie.