Disclaimer: I do not own Harry PotHead. If I did I'd be one rich gangsta, swimming in a pool of jello. Plus, I'd have some changes done to the story. I honestly think Harry should be gay. And a limp would be better than that unnoticeable scar on his head. Boo yaw! ( I got the Boo-yaw part from Mr.Deeds, one of my all time favorite movies of all times nest to Little Nicky. Fwuah. o.O )
[ Setting: The Great Hall. Time: 12 in the afternoon. ]
The three friends head to the Great Hall after arriving at the school. They find some seats at the Gryfinddor table, and greet their fellow students.
RON- Oy, Neville! You look fit! Did you work out over the summer?
NEVILLE- Not especially. My grandma and I went to Egypt and she left me there without food or water. I lost three-hundred pounds.
RON- Hey Neville!
NEVILLE- ...Hello. You already said hey to me.
RON- You're looking fit. Did you work out over the summer?
Meanwhile
HERMIONE- Draco got glasses!
PANSY- That's not what all he got.
Draco walks up to them, his new fake boobs wobbling
PANSY- You look sooo hot.
DRACO- I know. My father got them for me for Kwanza.
HERMIONE- You celebrate Kwanza..?
DRACO- Where's Potter? I want to show him my new breasts. He has to see that they're bigger than his are! Muah ha ha!
He runs off, his boobs smacking him in the face
HERMIONE- Draco and Harry are always in competition of one another.
Someone clinks a glass with a spoon
A GLASS- Cling. Cling. Clang. I hate my life.
DUMBLEDORE- Listen up, ass heads! I'm your new defense against the dark arts teacher!
He does the robot. Everyone cheers except for Draco
DRACO- You? My father auditioned for that spot. He's always wanted to be the DADA teacher. How come you made it and he didn't'?
DUMBLEDORE- Because I'm prettier. Everyone, please take your seats. I'm going to go over everything that will happen this year with you all. Sit down. Sit DOWN!
Dumbledore shoves McGonnagal to her seat and slaps her across the face
MC GONNAGAL- I was taking my time, Albus. You didn't have to harm me.
DUMBLEDORE- Okay everyone. This year we will have the Mister and Misses Hogwarts Pageant. You will all get to vote on the candidates in December. This spring, in a couple of weeks, if you are 17 or older, you get to audition for teacher assistants.
RON- Hey! That sounds like fun! I've always wanted to teach little children and be called "Mr.Weasley!"
DRACO- I pity whoever gets "Mr.Weasley" as their professor.
DUMBLEDORE- With this program, those of you who want to become teachers when you get older, get the chance to see how it is done. You will be assigned to one of our teachers and you will sit in their class and observe, and even get some chances to teach on your own.
SNAPE- That's right, Betty. Plus- you get to purchase wind-shield wipers at the Seven Eleven.
DUMBLEDORE- Who's Betty? And they will do nothing of the sort, Professor Snape. Anyway, students, you may head to your dorms and unpack. Potter, I want to see you after the bell rings.
The bell rings
HARRY- You wanted to see me, Professor?
He approaches the Head Master
DUMBLEDORE- Yes. Harry, I think you should be one of the candidates for Mister Hogwarts. You're an excellent student, the seeker for our Quidditch team....Oh yeah- and you saved a life once or twice!
HARRY- ( feeling proud ) Actually it was more like-
DUMBLEDORE- Pudding?
HARRY- Huh? What about it?
DUMBLEDORE- Have some. As Mister Hogwarts, you simply MUST taste my newest invention! I'm going to enter it in the fair!
HARRY- Um, sure. I'll try some.
Dumbledore gives Harry some and Harry sniffs it
HARRY- It smells like dookie, and it gives me the willies.
Dumbledore's eyes water. He takes off wailing at the top of his lungs
HARRY- Crap! I killed Dumbledore!
HERMIONE- Actually, Harry, you just made him cry.
HARRY- Where did you come from?
HERMIONE- I was under the table listening to your conversation. But it was for your own good. I was afraid that Dumbledore might do something to you because he has been acting rather strange lately.
RON- Everyone is acting odd. It's creepy.
There is silence
HARRY AND HERMIONE- Where did you come from?!?
RON- My dad and mum did the nasty.
HARRY- Um. That's nice. But did you see what happened?
RON- Yeah. The Head Master tempted you with his pudding and you refused the offer. He ran off crying and now he is no longer the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher because he is in depression.
HERMIONE- How do you know that last part?
RON- News travels fast. I'm the queen of gossip. Tee hee!
HARRY- But it only happened thirty seconds ago!
Ron walks away
HERMIONE- That was odd. Well, I'm gonna go unpack. And if it is true that the Head Master is in depression because of you, you need to go apologize. Boo yaw!
HARRY- I will.
[ End of scene. ]
Author's note: Sorry this chapter was so weird. And it wasn't angst at all, but angst will start popping up later in the story. Oh, thanks to my Skittles friend who reviewed. I'm glad you liked the story. I honestly didn't think it'd get any reviews the first day it was up. hugs Skittles girl And thanks to Christie as well because you are awesome. You always review my retarded fics. Lol. purchases Christie a pretty yellow bonnet Ooh la la I'm sure you will look secksy in it. It matches your eyes. waves...xJuliex
[ Setting: The Great Hall. Time: 12 in the afternoon. ]
The three friends head to the Great Hall after arriving at the school. They find some seats at the Gryfinddor table, and greet their fellow students.
RON- Oy, Neville! You look fit! Did you work out over the summer?
NEVILLE- Not especially. My grandma and I went to Egypt and she left me there without food or water. I lost three-hundred pounds.
RON- Hey Neville!
NEVILLE- ...Hello. You already said hey to me.
RON- You're looking fit. Did you work out over the summer?
Meanwhile
HERMIONE- Draco got glasses!
PANSY- That's not what all he got.
Draco walks up to them, his new fake boobs wobbling
PANSY- You look sooo hot.
DRACO- I know. My father got them for me for Kwanza.
HERMIONE- You celebrate Kwanza..?
DRACO- Where's Potter? I want to show him my new breasts. He has to see that they're bigger than his are! Muah ha ha!
He runs off, his boobs smacking him in the face
HERMIONE- Draco and Harry are always in competition of one another.
Someone clinks a glass with a spoon
A GLASS- Cling. Cling. Clang. I hate my life.
DUMBLEDORE- Listen up, ass heads! I'm your new defense against the dark arts teacher!
He does the robot. Everyone cheers except for Draco
DRACO- You? My father auditioned for that spot. He's always wanted to be the DADA teacher. How come you made it and he didn't'?
DUMBLEDORE- Because I'm prettier. Everyone, please take your seats. I'm going to go over everything that will happen this year with you all. Sit down. Sit DOWN!
Dumbledore shoves McGonnagal to her seat and slaps her across the face
MC GONNAGAL- I was taking my time, Albus. You didn't have to harm me.
DUMBLEDORE- Okay everyone. This year we will have the Mister and Misses Hogwarts Pageant. You will all get to vote on the candidates in December. This spring, in a couple of weeks, if you are 17 or older, you get to audition for teacher assistants.
RON- Hey! That sounds like fun! I've always wanted to teach little children and be called "Mr.Weasley!"
DRACO- I pity whoever gets "Mr.Weasley" as their professor.
DUMBLEDORE- With this program, those of you who want to become teachers when you get older, get the chance to see how it is done. You will be assigned to one of our teachers and you will sit in their class and observe, and even get some chances to teach on your own.
SNAPE- That's right, Betty. Plus- you get to purchase wind-shield wipers at the Seven Eleven.
DUMBLEDORE- Who's Betty? And they will do nothing of the sort, Professor Snape. Anyway, students, you may head to your dorms and unpack. Potter, I want to see you after the bell rings.
The bell rings
HARRY- You wanted to see me, Professor?
He approaches the Head Master
DUMBLEDORE- Yes. Harry, I think you should be one of the candidates for Mister Hogwarts. You're an excellent student, the seeker for our Quidditch team....Oh yeah- and you saved a life once or twice!
HARRY- ( feeling proud ) Actually it was more like-
DUMBLEDORE- Pudding?
HARRY- Huh? What about it?
DUMBLEDORE- Have some. As Mister Hogwarts, you simply MUST taste my newest invention! I'm going to enter it in the fair!
HARRY- Um, sure. I'll try some.
Dumbledore gives Harry some and Harry sniffs it
HARRY- It smells like dookie, and it gives me the willies.
Dumbledore's eyes water. He takes off wailing at the top of his lungs
HARRY- Crap! I killed Dumbledore!
HERMIONE- Actually, Harry, you just made him cry.
HARRY- Where did you come from?
HERMIONE- I was under the table listening to your conversation. But it was for your own good. I was afraid that Dumbledore might do something to you because he has been acting rather strange lately.
RON- Everyone is acting odd. It's creepy.
There is silence
HARRY AND HERMIONE- Where did you come from?!?
RON- My dad and mum did the nasty.
HARRY- Um. That's nice. But did you see what happened?
RON- Yeah. The Head Master tempted you with his pudding and you refused the offer. He ran off crying and now he is no longer the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher because he is in depression.
HERMIONE- How do you know that last part?
RON- News travels fast. I'm the queen of gossip. Tee hee!
HARRY- But it only happened thirty seconds ago!
Ron walks away
HERMIONE- That was odd. Well, I'm gonna go unpack. And if it is true that the Head Master is in depression because of you, you need to go apologize. Boo yaw!
HARRY- I will.
[ End of scene. ]
Author's note: Sorry this chapter was so weird. And it wasn't angst at all, but angst will start popping up later in the story. Oh, thanks to my Skittles friend who reviewed. I'm glad you liked the story. I honestly didn't think it'd get any reviews the first day it was up. hugs Skittles girl And thanks to Christie as well because you are awesome. You always review my retarded fics. Lol. purchases Christie a pretty yellow bonnet Ooh la la I'm sure you will look secksy in it. It matches your eyes. waves...xJuliex