Cat: Naruto X Helluva Boss X Hazbin Hotel
Title: The Adventures of MNM
Rating: M
Pairing: NarutoX Loona/Octavia/Cherri/Verrosika, Milli X Moxxie, Blitzo X Stolas, Charlie X Vaggie
Summary: Out for a stroll one day Millie finds a child on the side of the road and decides to adopt him and teach him how to raise some hell... oh Moxxie is there as well.
An exhausted AG sits down at his desk and looks into the camara. You guys just HAD to have another farm Chapter didn't you? Not that I'm complaining it was fun, but I had to Step back and write out somethings that people suggested. Only a few stops left on the Set-up train to go before we get to the meat and potatoes.
Notes: Millie, Moxxie, Blitzo, and Stolas are Aged up.
A/N
Gamelover41592: Thank you. I thought that it was amazing.
Themattman4000: Thank it. I thought the joke was a little to obvious. Glad you enjoyed it.
Perseus12: Thank you. I honestly wasn't sure how I wanted to play that one. It was touch and go.
Mezentsevmichael: Not so much.
Hellkeaper: Grandparent bonding is a go.
Shin: You helped write this chapter with your review my friend. I honestly wasn't going to do anything with Pigeon-Bitch for a while.
DaftMerc39: After reading your review I had to read 'Crying for the Moon'. It was a good read and I see what you mean, just one thing or at least something I wanted to keep to myself for a while. Sallie May isn't part of the Harem. She's more of a tease then anything else. Maybe a one off Lemon if I get up to it.
Gaby11: Thank you. I'm glad you were entertained.
Calderoneric758: Sounds fun. I think I'll do it.
Nathair: Hefer is a young female cow who has not had calfs. As for Sallie May, it's actually been confirmed that she is in fact Bisexual. As for that slash, well Stolas needs to make sure his daughter'ss Champion is strong.
Spark681: I'll never tell.
Nicholas: Ah Lion's son is a pretty good one. And Sallie isn't really into Naruto like that.
Guest: Naruto won't have Chakra in this story. He currently has access to Demonic Aura, That would be cool to see though.
Draken666: Sallie is gonna have a fun time in this story, but she's not part of the harem.
Snapper: I'm not really gonna do to much with Konoha. I might go to Konoha once or twice.
Spindash: That will be next chapter.
"Let's go Lick some ass!" Speech
"I thought the expression was kick ass," Thought/Flashback
"I like mine better," Spells/Jutsu
I do not own Naruto or Hazbin Hotel/Helluva boss Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto and Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel is owned by Vivziepop
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Chapter 5: Ol Town Rd
Location:Ars Goetia Palace Pride Ring
Place: Stloas's study
Time: 0900
Stolas sighed as he rubbed his temples in annoyance. His wife had been yelling for almost an hour. Almost a week ago he had given permission to Octavia to go with Millie, Naruto, and Moxxie to Millie's Family Ranch in the Wrath Ring. The reason that Stella was so pissed off at the moment was that Stella had wanted Stella to come with her to her brother's villa retreat in The Envy Ring. Something that Stolas wouldn't have allowed even if Stella became violent.
Ever since the MNM family had come into their lives, Stolas had found himself standing up to Stella more and more. Instead of Physical Abuse, she's basically kept to screaming, threats, and the occasional stink eye.
"..d who in their right mind thinks that it's alright for the Heiress of the Stars to visit a plebian farm!" yelled Stella.
Stolas was REALLY starting to hate that Satan-dammed word.
"My dear Stella please be quiet, you're giving me a headache," said Stolas as he summoned a bottle of aspirin to him and a cup of water.
"WHAT!" screeched Peigon-Bitch.
"I have little time to worry about your socialite endeavors. The V's are currently pushing one of our cousins using blackmail and threats to somehow increase their influence in Hell. Alastor and those of Cannibal Colony are asking for more Fresh meat and not that of the demon sort, and several of my brothers are jockeying for a position to take my Father's place as Head of the Ars Goeitea. Aside from your family's need to be at the center of attention you are not saying anything that makes sense, what is the harm in letting her be a child for the next 50 or so years?" said Stolas.
"Octavia should be learning to navigate the complex political system that is Ars Goetia.
"And I agree. One day she will be gifted her own Grimore and trained in the duties and responsibilities that she must oversee. However, she already has several enemies among our family. She even managed to get a champion that many have called into question, including your brother," said Stolas.
Stella blushed in rage before slamming a hand on Stolas's desk. "Don't FUCK WITH ME STOLAS!"
Stolas looked at Stella, before he began to speak in the old tongue. -Due to reasons, I cannot translate Stolas's words into English. (1)
Stella shivered and backed away in fear. She knew that for Stolas to use the Old Tongue meant that he was not in the mood to navigate the mental minefield that was Stella's abuse. Stella decided it was better to leave than face Stolas's wrath.
As the door closed a message came through his phone. Picking it up he nearly gushed seeing the kiss between Octavia and Naruto.
"What an amusing book this would make," Stolas thought to himself.
Location: Wrath Ring
Place: Edge of Rough-N-Tumble Ranch
Time: 0940 (A week into the visit)
a pair of Hades Mustangs raced down the path, near the edge of the Rough-N-Tumble Ranch. Naruto and Lin raced down the fence Lin wrangling a few cows that had gotten loose. The visiting Imps and their charges had been at the ranch for a week now and one of the first things that they did was teach the pair how to ride the wild beasts. Octavia was scared of them, while Naruto took to it like a fish in water. Octavia was really only conformable with Naruto being on the beasts at the same time as her. Of course, Lin knew better than that. The girl just wanted to feel on those developing ab muscles.
Although Lin couldn't blame her. Her new Grandson was a manly-man. Her family had always Imphasized the importance of Ladies being Murderess bitches and the men being rough and tough sons of bitches. Regardless of the fact if married, birthed, or adopted then you had to prove yourself as a member of their family. So far Naruto was proving a better fit than his dad.
Lin and Joe didn't hate Moxxie, far from it. It was just Moxxie was from a more... learned and well-to-do family from another ring. Moxxie grew up in Imp schools that catered to the highest-ranking Imps. Compared to the Imps from other Rings, the Imps of Wrath were the toughest and hardest of them all.
"So Hon, how have you enjoyed the farm so far?" asked Lin as they slowed the Mustangs to a gentle gallop as they crossed some tracks of wild dogs that had been attacking their herds. Might as well handle the problem while they were out.
"Well, I'm hot, sweaty, have to wake up at the ass creak of dawn, and work from sunup to sundown. Me and Octavia get teased by Sallie May and the boys, and I'm constantly having to watch my back because the Razor-boars see me as a threat/ meal ticket to having a bigger harem," said Naruto as he grabbed the loaner rifle from his... cousin, Millie's younger brother son.
"An?" asked Lin as she grabbed a lasso (2)
"And I love it. I love getting my hands dirty. I love the ability to fight.
Lin smiled. "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, but what about your little girlfriend?" asked Lin.
"Octavia is having fun learning and working. I don't think she's a big fan of Sallie May's teasing," said Naruto.
The older Imp Mama grinned hearing this. Sallie May hadn't let up on her teasing. Twice over the last week, she had woken up in both Naruto and Octavia's beds, gave Naruto a lap dance, and kissed both Octavia and Naruto. And even showered with Octavia. Then again considering that Millie and Lin were on the Family Ranch Shower/Hot spring was starching it a bit. The duo of Octavia and Naruto quickly discovered that Sallie May was a huge flirt and tease. Kissing and over the clothes groping was the extent of what she was willing to do to someone. If they willingly wanted to join her in bed it wasn't a problem. Her body count was nearly 50, nowhere near her nearly 1000 kills.
That being said that didn't stop her from trying to seduce Naruto or Octavia.
"Well hon that's Sallie's own way of welcoming y'all into the family," said Lin.
"I guess. It's kinda strange that I'm slightly turned on by her," said Naruto as he sighted down on a large wild dog.
"You got this hon?" asked Lin.
"Come on Grandma it's 400 years away. I got this," said Naruto.
BANG!
Location: Wrath Ring
Place: Gates of Hell Bar
Time: 1500 (A week and four days into Visit)
The The 'Gates of Hell' Bar was on of the best bars in Hell. It existed in a strange space. Having a bar on each of the Seven rings, but somehow staying in one location at all times. The Gates of Hell existed in Purgatoria a dimension between The Trinity of Heaven, Earth, and Hell. The majority of his customers were Humans who fought the Angels, Half Breed Demons, and the like on Earth. The owner and Patron of said Bar happened to be one of the strongest beings that could Rival the seven Lords of the rings, put fear in the hearts of the Ars Goetia Extended family, and even make Lucifer think twice before starting something. But to his customers, he was simply the bartender and ABYSS Marketer. Rodin.
Joe walked into the bar with Naruto. Once inside Naruto looked around the bar. It had a sort of... Supernatural feel to it. All the walls were lined with Black and red velvet, obsidian tables, and a bar that was quite lovely to look at. Above the bar was a sign that said Gates of Hell. The bar was practically empty, which to Naruto was odd as Hell didn't have a normal Day and night cycle like the Human world. As well as the fact that only Sinners really noticed the change was a real head scratched, since Hell, Heaven, and Purgatoria technically existed outside of time. The duo of Joe and Naruto approached. As they did Naruto caught the eye of a human woman who was just too beautiful to be from regular Earth. She looked at Naruto and winked before she vanished into a portal.
The man standing behind the bar was tall. Easily over 7 feet, a well-built black man with a big bald ass head that would make Dwyane jealous, his eyes were concealed behind a pair of sunglasses, tribal-like tattoos on his head and both arms. wearing a long light brown leather overall coat with a lifted collar with black fur coating on the inside, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows revealing the same black fur coating on the inside, and a similar set of light brown leather pants, with a pair of black boots with untied laces and a red scarf, a light grey, diamond-patterned shirt. completing the ensemble wearing four golden rings and a bracelet on his left, and four silver rings and a bracelet in his right hand. And a golden necklace with a round golden pendant with a silver adornment,
"Hey Rodin. Helping out that witch again?" asked Joe.
"Hey there Joe, didn't think you'd be back for a while. Last time you were here we got that Battle-axe made for little Mildred. That was what? 12 years ago now," said Rodin.
Joe laughed before he slapped Naruto's back. "Normally I'd stop in for a drink. I'm here with my grandson today. He killed a Razor-Boar. We brought the bones and carcasses. See if you could do something with it bud," said Joe.
Rodin looked at Naruto, before holding out his hand. "Hand me the sword boy," said Rodin.
Naruto was a bit shocked that he knew he had his sword on him. Naruto summoned the cane that he kept the blade in and handed it over to Rodin. Rodin unsheathed the sword and looked at it. He swung the blade a few times. After that, he throw it in the air allowing it to spin a few times as he examined the sheath. Holding it out the sword finally stopped spinning and fell perfectly in place.
"The blade needs a professional edge put back on it, the sheath is creaked from too much power for the single draw attack. And the handle needs new skin. That's all child's play. But we need to talk about the weapon I'm going to make for you," said Rodin.
"Make for me?" asked Naruto in confusion.
"That's right. Some odd years ago Joe's granddad and I made a bet. I lost. As a reward I promised to forever create the weapons for the family after their first major kill of a Ranch animal," said Rodin while mumbling under his breath about WWI and how he was sure he had won the bet.
"What weapon did he make for you Grandpa?" asked Naruto.
Joe pulled out a pair of curved kopais blades. They were elegantly made and looked like they were made of sapphires, but that couldn't be the case as that blue light was swirling inside of the blades.
Rodin took the Carcass and sword. "I'm pop down to the shop for a minute, be right back,"
A red portal opened behind Rodin before he hovered in the air before he went into the portal. Joe and Naruto waited only for a minute or two, before a portal opened back up and Rodain fell out of it. He slapped one of his large hands on the bar top, before he rose up, covered in blood and steam.
"These little babies put up a fight, but I managed to get the knockout blow. Take care of them and they'll take care of you," said Rodin placing two cases on the bar top and somehow looking like new.
He opened the first case revealing his cane sword or rather what was once his regular cane sword. It was no longer tan, but now a brunt black that devoured all light that touched it. Looking closer Naruto saw a combination of Angelic and Demonic calligraphy there also seemed to be an area where Naruto could grip the sheath with red silk wrapping. The blade itself was where the magic was Handle had been made slightly longer but was a solid and beautiful wife that seemed to radiate its own light, and right down the middle was a red line that seemed to almost pulsate as if it was alive.
The second case was opened up revealing rifle it was short only about 28 inches long. The Stock was bone white with black carvings in it. On both sides of the stock was a pair of A&8, the steel was black with another bone while handle. Around the tip of the barrel of the rifle was a trio of rings. Two gold and one red. It also had a scope on it.
"Met your new weapons. I had a Japanese Oni laying around and needed to get rid of it, so I took it and turned it into your new blade. Your old sword was used as a base and this is the result Shuraba. As for the rifle, that's a tale. I had to rip out the gizzards, flush the chamber, and rem the barrel. She's a real beauty, hiding in a beastly form. I think its new name is Ophelia. She uses 357 ammo," said Rodin. (4)(5)
Naruto ran his hands over the weapons, before taking Shuraba and slashing at one of the Obsidian tables, cleaving it in half as well as the floor. Rodin grabbed a claymore off the wall and slashed it at Naruto. Naruto grabbed the sheath and held it in a guard, mere inches away from the sheath a blood-red barrier appeared over it stopping the blade in its place. Naruto quickly sheathed the blade, before it turned into a black, red, and gold bracelet. Next picking up the rifle Naruto aimed it at Rodin, before opening fire and destroying the bottles behind Rodin.
Rodin even managed to get a cigar lit up, before smoking it. "Beautiful," said Rodin.
"Nice," said Naruto as he put the rifle in the case and slung it over his shoulder.
"Just so we clear, I may make the weapons you and your family use, but don't come crying to me for backup if things get tough," said Rodin.
Naruto looked at Rodin. "As if I'd come crawling to anyone to fight my fights for me," snorted Naruto.
Rodin smirked as Joe and Naruto walked out. "I like you already Kid. Come back when your old enough to do business on your own or buy a drink, whichever comes first," said Rodin
"Hey Rodin I have a new LP for you," said a beautiful English voice that came into his shop.
Location: Wrath Ring
Place: Rough-N-Tumble Ranch, Main Homestead.
Time:
Naruto, Joe, and Moxxie loaded up the car as they prepared to return to Imp City. Lin and Sallie May hugged Millie and Octavia with Sallie May getting in one last backside pat. Octavia had come to understand the older girl after a few late-night talks and a fist fight that resulted in Octavia getting her ass handed to her, but earning Sallie May's respect. After that Sallie May toned down her teasing of the Duo but reminded her that the offer for sex was always open.
"It was lovely having yall here," said Lin.
"Don't be strangers, come back and visit us soon," said Joe.
Naruto grinned. "No worries, Grandma, Grandpa we'll be sure to return soon," said Naruto.
"Ya Mama, Daddy. It would be too tough to stay away for long," said Millie.
Sallie May grinned at Naruto. "Hurry back handsome boy," said Sallie May.
"Mox," said Joe.
"Yes Sir?" asked Moxxie.
"You take care of them ya hear?" asked Joe crossing his arms.
Moxxie smiled. "Wouldn't dream of doing anything less sir," said Moxxie.
Firing up the car the group drove away from Rough-N-Tumble Ranch and towards the Elevator.
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And cut. Hope you guys enjoyed this. It took a bit of time to figure out how I was going to do this chapter, but it was worth it. See you all real soon.
A/N
1: Stolas demonstrated this ability when he summoned himself to the Human world, which I think is a BIG No no.
2: No that wasn't a typo. Some people pronounce and some say an. I happen to be a person who says an when I want to say And.
Rodin and the Gates of Hell are from Bayonetta which I do not own.
4: Shuraba is from Bayonetta which I do not own.
5: The name of the weapon comes from Brutal Legends, Chareter from her mission where she is arming the Razor-girls with the Carcus of the Fire Razor-Boar. I honestly thought someone would have found that one easy