Cat: Naruto X Helluva Boss X Hazbin Hotel
Title: The Adventures of MNM
Rating: M
Pairing: NarutoX Loona/Octavia/Cherri/Verrosika, Milli X Moxxie, Blitzo X Stolas, Charlie X Vaggie
Summary: Out for a stroll one day Millie finds a child on the side of the road and decides to adopt him and teach him how to raise some hell... oh Moxxie is there as well
Sorry. I thought I made it clear to early on in the story. Yes,, this is a harem story, I'm just not adding Sallie May to said Harem. I like her well enough, but she's not going to be a regular in the fic. She'll appear sporadically but won't be a permanent fixture.
Notes: Millie, Moxxie, Blitzo, and Stolas are Aged up.
A/N
Ghust95: I might bring Rodin back. Not sure yet
Gamelover41592: Glad you enjoyed it. Family is everything.
Perseus12: Can't really say to much about Konoha, but I will tell you that Sallie May isn't looking for a Boo when it comes to Naruto or any of the girls at this time.
Skywalker260: Thank you.
Calderoneric758: So long as he's not doing theater with a monocled asshole, maybe. As for Memories. I'm not sure if I want to or not. Mostly because I'm just not sure at the moment.
Nathair1: I didn't even notice I missed a word. I'll see about correcting that one. Oh wait to you all see them in action.
Darthjosh2112: I want to avoid that type of story line since that's one of the big ones that gets used a lot. Kushina is- Sorry that's a secret.
Hellkeaper: thank you and Yes it's a harem story.
LightningAbyss: Thank you and I always will.
Nicholas: I don't know if I hinted at him having ice powers or not in this story. But then again, the coloring of that oversized Peacock kinda makes people assume. Although you are right Stella is a Mean ass Karen.
DaftMerc39: Thank you. At this point, I think I might have to do a spin-off just for Sallie May. Oh, and the 'human' woman was Bayonetta. The Witch on a Pole.
Spark681: Ask and ye shall receive
Gaby11: Thank you for the review. You my friend are lucky! I was literally seconds away from posting when I saw your review come in.
"Let's go Lick some ass!" Speech
"I thought the expression was kick ass," Thought/Flashback
"I like mine better," Spells/Jutsu
I do not own Naruto or Hazbin Hotel/Helluva boss Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto and Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel is owned by Vivziepop
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Chapter 6: Release or punishment
Location: Second Chance Orphanage, Pride Ring
Place: Matron's Office
Time: 1400 (8 years after Naruto's death)
Blitz-the O is Silent- sighed as he finally finished the paperwork for the 200th time to hopefully adopt the Hellhound girl. The former clown turned hitman had seen her several years ago when she was just six years old. when he was still working a low-level act in Loo-Loo Land. The Orphanage had come to Loo-loo land to hopefully have a good time. He remembered her well. She was the only one who laughed at his jokes. She was the only one to come up to him and even gave him a balloon.
After that day he knew that she needed someone to look after her, but he also needed someone there for him. After his failed relationship with that Skank Succubitch he fell into a really bad and dark place. He could see it in her too, that she needed someone there for her. So, after that Blitz would visit the orphanage any chance he could get when he wasn't doing a job. He quickly learned a lot about Loona and promised her that he would get her out of that hell hole known as an orphanage.
The way Loona's face lit up when someone told her that they would adopt her made his day. After his first failed attempt. Loona's hope didn't waiver. Even over the subsequent visits and attempts. Over the years Loona slowly lost hope and around the fourth year, Loona distanced herself from Blitz and became sulken and withdrawn. The former clown never gave up hope, even when Loona told him to leave her alone, even when she told him that she was having sex with whoever she felt like.
It took him 9 years, several hundred attempts, block after block, begging and pleading with the Matron who saw him as a demon abomination. And here he was again. Meeting with the Matron.
The matron was a woman who ran one of the few off-limits establishments of the purge. The Second Chance Orphanage. While it was true that some kids deserved hell, it was hard for kids not Hellborn to really end up here. Most times it was clerical errors on both sides of the Heaven/Hell fence. It was every 1/5 children that wrongfully ended up in hell and had to stay at the orphanage until things got sorted.
The Matron sat in her chair reading a document that Blitz had brought to her. Recent finical records, information on his new start-up Immediate Murder Professionals. And everything else that he needed. Things he had had for years, but the Matron didn't see the need to help the little imp. It had been nearly 8 years since she had died. She had managed to hide what happened to the fox for a while, thanks to various merchants, Shinobi Officials, and even the backing of Lord Danzo, but eventually after a year, it had come out what had happened. She had allowed a group of Chunin to kill the Demon.
The Hokage in all of his infinite wisdom had sentenced her to death, for a multitude of crimes. So, what if the demon wasn't the only one, she made use of, so what if she pimped out that girl who liked weapons, so what if she sold a few kids to Lord Danzo. She had welcomed it, thinking that she was destined for the pure lands, but it wasn't meant to be.
When she awoke, it wasn't to the pure white fields and the arms of her family. It was the foul-smelling pits of hell. A place where the rules were not as cut and dry as those of the Shinobi world. Death was a welcome friend here and even sinners of significance were all not immune to the charms of death. The only problem was that the laws of Hell were very loose in some interpretations. Sinners were restricted to the first ring, not because they couldn't travel to the lower rings, but because they were being punished. Exceptions were made
Second Death for Sinners wasn't a release, but a punishment. Pain, suffering, and fear resided in the Pride Ring. What little pleasure there was came with hefty price tags that many were all too willing to pay. Lucifer had direct control of nearly 40 percent of the Pride Ring, While the Ars Goetia controlled 30 percent as part of their duties as Overseers. Finally, the Overlords themselves controlled the other 30 percent, divided among themselves with the V's having the most of any territory at 9 percent. While the Overlords were in a constant struggle for control, they each carved out their own little piece of hell curved out to be their heaven, but inside each and every one of them was missing something. Something that kept them whole. No matter the pleasure they felt that something was always missing. (1) (2)
In the Matron's case, that hole was her beloved adopted son. So, she took over the orphanage and used it to take all the children under her. Of course, she was still a corrupt individual. Selling a few of them out as prostitutes, before they managed to get adopted by Hellborn families wasn't hard. She was protected under the banner of the V's with Valantino being her benefactor. What was selling her pussy and the bodies of her 'charges' for protection?
"Blitzo back again I see," said the Matron picking up his adoption application.
Name: Blitzo (the O is silent bitch)
Race: Imp
Occupation: Bodyguard/Hitman.
Age: None of your damn business
Orphan: Loona
Race: Hellhound- Dire Wolf Type-
Age: 15
Notes: Found in the Wrath Ring, no known pack. Marks indicate that she belongs to either the Silver-Fang Pack or one of the smaller Silver subservient packs.
Tossing the paper onto the desk the Matron shuck her head. "I don't see why I should allow this farce to continue. Nine years BlitzO. We've done this song and dance. Each time you've asked I've denied you. Not because I want to see you suffer mind you. But because A Silver Hellhound is quite rare and very valuable," said The Matron.
Blitz glared at her. "Look bitch I've followed all the steps you've laid out. I've gotten a better job, I've seen my therapist at least 4 times a week for the past year, I dumped that skank whorosika, and even found an apartment instead f living out my van. What more do you want?" asked Blitz.
The Matron reached into her desk and pulled out a piece of paper. It was a Sinners contract. The basis of the contract was simple. It would basically sign oneself into the servitude of the V's.
"Sign this paper and I'll do as you ask and give you Loona," said The Matron.
Blitz picked up the pen on her desk and was about to sign his name on the line when an explosion rocked the building. Blitz and The Matron were shaken as the sounds of gunfire sounded throughout the Orphanage.
"What the hell is going on out there!?" asked The Matron as she pulled a pistol from under her desk.
The door was flung open by one of her people. Before he could say or do anything a round was fired and tore his head off.
"What's going on here?" asked a voice that got the Matron and Blitz to look at them.
Stepping through the door were two teenagers 15 years of age. The first was an Owl looking girl dressed in Regal clothing with long sleeves, and black pants tucked into boots with a book strapped to her right leg. The second was a humanoid-looking hellhound with his own regal clothing that marked him as a bodyguard of some sort with a purple jacket thrown over his shoulders like a cape. On his left side was a sword, while he held a smoking short lever action rifle in his right. Even though the duo were only teenagers they were both radiating powers that far outpaced her own and even some of the pseudo-Overlords.
"L-Lady Goetia," said the woman falling to her knees, allowing the gun to fall away from her and at Blitz's feet. "What-what are you doing here?"
Lady Ars Goetia narrowed her eyes. "I came on behalf of my father who is too busy at the moment to oversee this himself. We've been getting reports of quite disturbing nature that we needed to follow up on," said the 15-year-old young woman.
The Matron winced. While Hell was more loose than the human realm or even Heaven, they still had rules and regulations they had to follow. Apparently, the supernatural Hierarchy took the mistreatment of Children rather seriously. Sure, a Demon could kill a kid as part of a contract, but if all the proper changeless were not checked off that person was getting a one-way ticket to Tarturus. Heaven and Hell's interlocked prison. The fact that she had actually been part of trafficking children Hellborn and otherwise for the better part of 5 years would see her in that place. If not Lucifer's personal torture chambers.
"I'm sure that my staff would be more than happy to see to it that you get...," started the Matron only for the owl girl to hold up her hand.
"No need," said the young man stepping up. "The Soldiers of the Ars Goetia army have already rounded up your staff and are looking through records as we speak. We even know about the secret compartment under your desk. Once we get those documents, I'm sure we can add unauthorized Hellborn and sinner Prostitution to the list of charges. The fact that Overlords are stepping into the Territory of Ars Goetia should be enough to spark a great cleanse,"
The matron's eyes widened before they narrowed. Her eyes turned red as she leapt at the Lady Goetia. The Lady Goetia didn't bother to move an inch. The male got in front of her and was about to draw something from his cane, only for a round of buckshot to catch her in midair.
Both Naruto and Octavia looked at the male imp who had murder in his eyes. Not for them. They were directed at the Matron. In his hand was the pistol the Matron dropped.
"You mean to tell me that I could have adopted Loony sooner if not for this bitch here!" yelled the imp.
"Get in line pal, I have my own business to handle with this bitch here," said Naruto drawing his sword. "I mean dying at seven and holding a grudge can really fuck with a kids head ya know?"
The matron looked at Naruto, before her eyes widened. "You, but... but, you died!" said the Matron.
Naruto smirked. "I got better," said Naruto drawing his sword and sneering at her. "While I still don't remember how I died I do remember your face. Spraying me with freezing water everyone one of those disgusting people was done with me. Men, women, Shinobi, Kunoichi, I remember it all. The beating, the torture, the... the rapes. From the time I was 4 up until my death. You were a constant fixture in them all. Yakushi Nono. You and that bastard Kabuto!"
Nono glared at Naruto. "Don't talk about my son! He was a prodigy in the making! Unlike you, you filthy demon!"
Naruto lunged at her with his sword and stabbed her in the chest. Nono yelled in pain as Naruto pinned her to the wall. Her hands came up and grabbed the blade, but no matter how hard she pulled she couldn't loosen the blade.
"If I'm a filthy demon what does that make you? The dirt under my feet, my food?" asked Naruto twisting the sword.
Octavia walked up to Naruto and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Naruto that's enough. Remember the rules," said Octavia
"Death is a release, not a punishment. Damn family saying," said Naruto taking a deep breath. (3)
"Exactly My father and the others are already making a case against her as well as several others that our informant named. She'll spend the rest of eternity in Tarturs,"
Naruto snorted. "Be thankful to Lady Ars Goeita for your worthless life," said the Fox-looking sinner and removed his blade from her chest, before sheathing it. The Matron fell to the ground grasping her chest. She glared up at Naruto
The door was kicked open and in walked a Hellhound girl. She was actually quite beautiful -if you're into furry's that it-. She stood at She had a wolf-like appearance. a pointed, dog-like muzzle with sharp and pointy teeth, and a dark gray nose. Her eyes have red sclera with white irises, and she wears dark gray eye shadow. She has a piercing on her right eyebrow. Her fur is white with gray encircling her face, gray patches on her shoulders, and long, voluminous silver hair swept to the side to reveal her dark gray ears - the right of which is pierced with two small hoop earrings, the left which is ragged. She has a large, dark gray bushy tail with white on the underside.
"Hey Matron Bitch a bunch of guys bearing the Royal seal of Lord Stolas is storming the facility and taking out your assistant pimps left right and center," said the girl in an almost deadpan voice.
"Then why aren't you doing anything to stop it you dog!?" yelled The Matron.
The girl leaned on the door before taking out her phone. "I'm not one of your willing hookers. Just because I've had sex with a few guys doesn't mean I work for you," said the Girl.
The matron looked at the girl. "Loona, please. Help me," whispered the Matron.
Loona walked up to the Maton and lifted one of her large paws and kicked the Matron in her chest ripping it open with her claws. The matron Rolled onto her back before she was stomped several times by Loona. The last time The Matron spat up blood and the creaking of ribs could be heard.
"You made me lose faith in Blitz. Made me debase myself to feel something. I'm just lucky I managed to avoid any STD's with my nose being able to sniff them out. The last guy I nearly slept with had syphilis," growled the now-named Loona. (4)
"Damn I like your style girl. We might have to kick it," said Octavia.
Loona looked at Octavia and Naruto with a raised eyebrow. "Sorry not a fan of royal dicks," said Loona.
"None taken. I'm only dressed like this and doing this job because my dad told me to. I much prefer my Goth clothes and lazing about on the couch," said Octavia.
"You goth?" asked Loona.
"Absolutely. I've been trying to convert my Boyfriend/Champion here, but he keeps denying me," said Octavia glaring at Naruto.
"Yeah. Outside of my job, I don't have to listen to you like that," said Naruto.
Octavia glared at him. "You will or I'm telling Aunt Millie who it was that pranked her last solstice," said Octavia.
Naruto raised his hands up. "Okay, I get it. You win Tavia,"
Loona whistled before she examined Naruto, He was cute and just her type, but she wasn't a home wrecker. If they ended up as friends cool, Friends with Benefits would be better though.
"You have your boy toy here trained well," said the Hellhound.
"Took me a few years, but I think I got him," said Octavia.
"Do I not get a say in this?" asked Naruto.
"No," said Loona and Octavia looking at each other smiling.
Octavia turned to Blitz as Naruto pulled out a pair of Hell cuff and cuffed the Matron. Octavia took a seat behind the desk.
"I'm sorry Mr. Blitz. The Orphanage is part of Stolas Ars Goetia territory. I am his child. I- we should have intervened before it got to this point. I will do anything to get things. If there is anything I can do within my power, I will do it. You have my word as Octavia Ars Goetia heiress of the Pride Ring Branch," said Octavia.
"Can you get my Adoption of Loona legalized?" asked Blitz.
"What?" asked the female hellhound. "You still want me, even though I've been a bitch to you for years?"
Bltiz smiled at Loona. "We're family Loony. Nothing was ever gonna stop me from adopting you," said the Imp
Loona felt her heart break at this, before giving BLtiz a smile. "Thanks... dad," said Loona.
Blitz nearly died on the spot. His Loony had called him Dad!
"Hey, how about a picture to commemorate the moment?" asked Naruto grabbing a picture as Octavia filled out the paperwork before handing it over.
Biltz and Loona held the piece of paper before they both smiled as the picture was snapped. As they finished the group walked out.
"So, you still want to kick it?" asked Naruto.
Stay away from my Loony!" yelled Blitz.
"Blitz!" yelled Loona.
Octavia smiled as the trio argued. This was going to be so much fun. Maybe she could finally have a goddamn girlfriend outside of her family and Aunt Millie.
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And Cut. I finished this story pretty quickly. This was the original chapter five before I changed it. And now that I'm thinking over it I have to do ANOTHER alternate chapter because the original chapter six I was going to do would work, but a lot of context would be missing.
I'll see you soon.
A/N
1: With the yearly Purge or cleanse by the angels, not to mention all the fighting that happens year-round Second-Death seems an adequate term.
2: The percentage's make more sense inside of my head.
3: I burrowed that one from a Fic i read a while back. I can't remember the name of the story. I just remember that it was A Harry Potter story with Harry X Lavander as the couple. I need to see if i can find it again. It was a good little read.
4: One thing I will say that slightly annoyed me nowadays is the trope that everyone is a virgin until the Hero gets them into his/her bed.