Chapter 5:
Neenu didn't know where she was going, only that she had to be as far away as she could from that house and the sadness it brought. She ran down the streets, finally collapsing on the ground in a park; the wet ground soaked through her clothes.
"Why? Why Sirius?" she mumbled to herself between sobs, which made her whole body shudder.
"If I had known, I wouldn't have faked my death; I would have killed myself permanently."
Neenu glanced down at the scars, still pink, that lined her wrists. "Why does everything go wrong...?"
A dazed Reamus picked himself up off the floor, a nasty bump on his head throbbing painfully, and rushed into the kitchen where the members of the Order were waiting.
"She's gone," he said flatly.
The small crowd of faces turned pale.
"What on earth do you mean she's gone?" Snape snapped in anger.
"I told her about Sirius," he sighed, now knowing his fault. "And she threw me against the wall and apparated." "Didn't you even think to put some sort of barrier up to stop her from doing that?" Snape blasted again.
Reamus hung his head in shame. "I just... I just didn't think she'd react so strongly."
"She's a bloody psychopath Lupin, how'd you expect her to react?"
"That is enough, Severus," Dumbledore intervened. "We should stop wasting our time arguing and use it instead to find her before anybody else does."
Neenu couldn't tell hold long she'd been sitting there, only that the sun was beginning to set, and that her eyes were sore from crying so much. Standing up on cramped, shaky legs, Neenu stared at the shades of red, yellow and orange that were smeared across the darkening sky. A small smile cracked across her lips as she drew inner warmth from the simple beauty of it all. Sudden footsteps brought Neenu back to reality, and she clutched her wand.
"I promise you, Sirius, I won't let them take me again. If only for Harry's sake but for your memory as well they will not again have me alive," she vowed.
Turning around slowly, Neenu was once again struck speechless by the sight of Severus Snape walking towards her, wand in hand.
"Do you have any idea the havoc you've caused?" he shouted.
Tears threatened again, but something inside suddenly changed, and she glared back at Snape.
"Don't snap at me like I'm one your potions students, Severus!" she shouted back.
Snape was taken aback, her voice commanded such a high level of respect, he was lost for words. This was the Neenu he used to know: bossy, bad tempered and extremely fiery.
"I can see they weren't able to destroy that temper of yours at Azkaban," he replied.
"No thanks to you," she growled back.
Snape winced.
"Neenu, you know I had no choice. I couldn't go back for you. They would have killed me."
"Oh, so you'd rather save your own butt than help someone else. You were always looking out for number one, Serverus."
Snape was about to reply when Neenu spoke again,
"Do you have any idea what that felt like? You left me to them! You saw what was going to happen and fled! "
"Neenu, you have to understand, I..."
"THEY RAPED ME SEVERUS! They beat me up, and raped me, and you did NOTHING!" she screamed at him, tears rolling down her cheeks.
Snape tried to stay composed as his past came back to haunt him.
"You were no friend to me; never have been, and never will be again, Severus," she said finally and turned to leave.
Snape made no move to stop her.
A shuddering chill ran up Neenu's back as she walked away and the cause suddenly dawned on her, turning back to Snape, she found him exactly where she'd left him, his cold dark eyes staring back at her. And somehow, just from the look of terror that shone in her eyes, he knew what was about to occur.
Neenu didn't know where she was going, only that she had to be as far away as she could from that house and the sadness it brought. She ran down the streets, finally collapsing on the ground in a park; the wet ground soaked through her clothes.
"Why? Why Sirius?" she mumbled to herself between sobs, which made her whole body shudder.
"If I had known, I wouldn't have faked my death; I would have killed myself permanently."
Neenu glanced down at the scars, still pink, that lined her wrists. "Why does everything go wrong...?"
A dazed Reamus picked himself up off the floor, a nasty bump on his head throbbing painfully, and rushed into the kitchen where the members of the Order were waiting.
"She's gone," he said flatly.
The small crowd of faces turned pale.
"What on earth do you mean she's gone?" Snape snapped in anger.
"I told her about Sirius," he sighed, now knowing his fault. "And she threw me against the wall and apparated." "Didn't you even think to put some sort of barrier up to stop her from doing that?" Snape blasted again.
Reamus hung his head in shame. "I just... I just didn't think she'd react so strongly."
"She's a bloody psychopath Lupin, how'd you expect her to react?"
"That is enough, Severus," Dumbledore intervened. "We should stop wasting our time arguing and use it instead to find her before anybody else does."
Neenu couldn't tell hold long she'd been sitting there, only that the sun was beginning to set, and that her eyes were sore from crying so much. Standing up on cramped, shaky legs, Neenu stared at the shades of red, yellow and orange that were smeared across the darkening sky. A small smile cracked across her lips as she drew inner warmth from the simple beauty of it all. Sudden footsteps brought Neenu back to reality, and she clutched her wand.
"I promise you, Sirius, I won't let them take me again. If only for Harry's sake but for your memory as well they will not again have me alive," she vowed.
Turning around slowly, Neenu was once again struck speechless by the sight of Severus Snape walking towards her, wand in hand.
"Do you have any idea the havoc you've caused?" he shouted.
Tears threatened again, but something inside suddenly changed, and she glared back at Snape.
"Don't snap at me like I'm one your potions students, Severus!" she shouted back.
Snape was taken aback, her voice commanded such a high level of respect, he was lost for words. This was the Neenu he used to know: bossy, bad tempered and extremely fiery.
"I can see they weren't able to destroy that temper of yours at Azkaban," he replied.
"No thanks to you," she growled back.
Snape winced.
"Neenu, you know I had no choice. I couldn't go back for you. They would have killed me."
"Oh, so you'd rather save your own butt than help someone else. You were always looking out for number one, Serverus."
Snape was about to reply when Neenu spoke again,
"Do you have any idea what that felt like? You left me to them! You saw what was going to happen and fled! "
"Neenu, you have to understand, I..."
"THEY RAPED ME SEVERUS! They beat me up, and raped me, and you did NOTHING!" she screamed at him, tears rolling down her cheeks.
Snape tried to stay composed as his past came back to haunt him.
"You were no friend to me; never have been, and never will be again, Severus," she said finally and turned to leave.
Snape made no move to stop her.
A shuddering chill ran up Neenu's back as she walked away and the cause suddenly dawned on her, turning back to Snape, she found him exactly where she'd left him, his cold dark eyes staring back at her. And somehow, just from the look of terror that shone in her eyes, he knew what was about to occur.