Cat: Naruto X Helluva Boss X Hazbin Hotel
Title: The Adventures of MNM
Rating: M
Pairing: Naruto X Loona/Octavia/Cherri/Verrosika/ Mrs. Mayberry, Milli X Moxxie, Blitzo X Stolas, Charlie X Vaggie, Kushina X Kurama
Summary: Out for a stroll one day Millie finds a child on the side of the road and decides to adopt him and teach him how to raise some hell... oh Moxxie is there as well.
Hey everyone. I hope your all well and good. Nothing to comment on. I will admit that I'm thinking of adding the Deamon sisters and Stocking. I currently have no reason to add them into the story other then cameo's and the odd running joke.
Review Response
Themattman4000: Lol. I can't remember what sence I was thinking of when I wrote it, but I'll take it.
Max Moreno: Oh now that is a crazy idea. I love it.
Gamelover41592: Thank you
Jebest4781: We shall see
Hero of time45: Maybe. I added them in, but I currently have no plans for them. At least for a while.
Narulemon Stories: Nah. The easy way would have been to have Naruto go in and oneshot everyone in that story. Also thank you very much.
Bednarczykmiki: Probably not. Honestly I never liked the SOSP all that much.
Dijnn: It's here, it's here!
Calderoneric758: Oh it's going to be bad. Stay toned to the end of the story.
AdieuLupin: Thank you
Atengawchok: No. I actually like making Kurama shift between male, female, and non-binary. It adds an element to the story that makes for an interesting dynamic. Making Kurama a permanent female would ruin the uniqueness of the character.
AlphaWolf00117: YOU CAN DO IT! I believe in you. One of my favorite sayings is 'Sometimes you just need a change of Tone. You can always PM me and I can help/ give over some spare ideas that are floating at the top of my head. I think I have like 50 oddish ideas that I never used.
Perseus12: it was the only thing I could think of at the time.
Killjoy3000: Thank you
Fenris Silverblood: I'll admit that I rushed the last chapter out. I'll be more careful in the future.
Nathair1: Thank you. Writing Kurama and Kushina's relationship is hectic, crazy, and VERY fun.
DaftMerc39: I know it wasn't the best. I could have done better, but that's on me.
HMV Black Templar: To be fair look at who his birth mother and adopted mother are. Brains is not Naruto's strong suit, but he has plenty of guts.
23debal01: Too big a harem and I don't want to make Charlie and Vaggie side pieces for Naruto. I can mess around with the pairings as Non-story canon in the Lemon side story.
"Let's go Lick some ass!" Speech
"I thought the expression was kick ass," Thought/Flashback
"I like mine better," Spells/Jutsu
Notes: Millie, Moxxie, Blitzo, and Stolas are Aged up, Mentions of Sexual Assault, Rape, and other really bad things.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Hazbin Hotel/Helluva boss Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto and Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel is owned by Vivziepop
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Chapter 14: I.M.P and friends pt 1
Location: Imp City, Pride Ring
Place: Blitz and Loona's apartment
Time: 0700- Helltime
Blitz had a shit-eating grin on his face as he woke up early in the morning. It had been two weeks since the Annual purge had ended. He had some pretty good sex the other day with Stolas with his harpy of a wife watching through the door and fingering herself. Maybe he should try for a hot Hate sex threesome. That was another matter to deal with later.
He managed to get his commercial done within a day with a rather catchy jingle that he had come up with. On his payroll was Himself as the Boss, of course, Millie hired on as his hand-to-hand and melee weapons expert, Moxxie as his gun expert, and Loony as his bruiser- but he wouldn't dare put his Loony Toony in danger- He would even have Loony's boyfriend hanging around the office thanks to a favor he asked from Stolas. Of course, he wouldn't be on the payroll, but having an Overlord hanging around would keep a bunch of unwanted demons away.
Getting up out of bed he quickly dressed in his suit, made sure to rinse the taste of cock and cum out of his mouth, made sure that his horns were nice and sharp, and he even took the time to touch up his skulls clan crest. He picked up his hellphone. Yes, sir things were going great for Blitzo- THE O IS SILENT DAMNIT! - He looked at the missed calls over 100 from Stolas, a missed call from Loona, his bitch ex called, and so did a client... Abigail Mayberry? He quickly texted her to meet at the office at noon, before he moved on to his other texts. Opening said texts he saw nothing out of the ordinary. Stolas texts, a text from a hitman who wanted him dead, a text from his mother, another text from...
Blitz stopped and went back. texts and stopped. It was a message from his mother...Tilla. The last time he had talked to her, or his father was just after Barbie was committed to Rehab.
Blitz put his hands over his ears and grit his teeth! He didn't want to hear it! He didn't want to hear it! He didn't want to hear them! The voices were starting up again.
"You're not even a funny clown!
"What good are you Blitzo!
"Blitz when are you going to help me with our act!"
"Come on Blitz. I made it big time and I want my best friend there... as my cock sleeve BWHAHAHAHAHA,"
"Blitzo... even if the rest of Hell turns its back on you I never will. I Lo-,"
WHAM-CRACK!
The mirror inside of the bathroom shattered as Blitz punched it. Laying on the counter was a pill bottle with the pills spilled all over the place. Blitz was panting glaring at the man who was looking back at him in the small piece that hadn't broken. The pills were taking effect. That was good.
Blitz straightened himself before taking his phone and ringing Naruto. Who picked up at the third ring
"Yo Bltiz, what's up," said Naruto.
"Hey man whore, stop sucking face with Loona and owl tits for a minute. I need a new bathroom mirror so I can watch myself jack off," said Blitz.
"How am I a man-whore? I've only had sex with two women and gotten a blow from one other," said Naruto, before he quickly added. "Before I was dating Loona and Octavia,"
"Good Save Ruto," said Octavia
"What did you do dad!?" growled Loona.
"Hey Loony baby, do you want daddy to take you to work?" asked Blitz hyper exited to hear the voice of his little girl.
"Satan you're embarrassing. Fine. Met you in the lobby!" yelled Loona.
"And you're paying for those damages Blitz," said Naruto.
"That's what your mom said last night Now hurry up and met me in the Lobby. I managed to get Stolas to loan me you for a couple of weeks," said Blitz as he hung up on Naruto.
The Former clown made his way to the Lobby of his building, not at all worried about what he said to Naruto or the others. Blitz didn't feel like looking at the text at the moment. He had a business to run.
Location: Imp City, Pride Ring
Place: I.M.P Offices, Blitz's personal office
Time: 1200- Hell Time
Abigail 'Abby' Mayberry had once been a fairly good-looking human woman and that had translated into her being a fairly good-looking Sinner Demon. She stood at about 5'3" with a slender figure C-cup breasts violet skin, pointed ears, red eyes with yellow pupils, and sharp yellow teeth. She has the same tail as an imp but has noticeable goat-like traits like horns and lavender hooves, messy white hair waist length hair, and a black bandanna in her hair.
Abby had been a schoolteacher in life. She taught kinder gardeners their ABCs and 123's, donated to charities of all kinds, went to her congregation, and even sang in the choir, as well as oversaw the youth as the youth minister. All in all, she was on the road to going to heaven.
She married her husband Jerold shortly after high school, but they had both put their desires for children on hold. Jerold was a business assistant that didn't make much, but he was good at his job. They had a small starter house that was given to them as a wedding present by Jerold's parents.
They had only been married for 3 years when it happened. She had gone to school early and got her students settled. They started off with a lovely song and dance number when one of her students reminded her that it was Jerold's birthday. Stopping the students she video-called him with her class to call and wish him a happy birthday when it happened. On the Video call was Jerold fucking some big-breasted blonde slut in their bed.
She ran out of the school and ran to her car, tears in her eyes. She sped down the street and was at her house in less than four minutes. She reached under her seat and pulled out an M&P 9mm pistol that she kept under her seat as a just-in-case as well as a Chainsaw in her garage.
Walking into the house she quickly walked to their bedroom. Their door was closed. Their doors were never closed in the house. Raising her foot she kicked the door, breaking the door off of its hinges!
Jerold stopped mid-thrust as he and his 'lover' looked at Abby.
"Oh shit! Sweetie what are you doing here!"
"Shut up Jerold!" yelled Abby as she revved her chainsaw making her husband scream. "You scream like a bitch!"
Shot the woman in the side of her head. The woman dropped to the ground unmoving,"
"Oh god! What have you done she had a family!" screamed Jerold.
"We could have had a family!" cried Abby, before taking her gun, ignoring Jerold's pleas for mercy, and putting two in his head.
Surrounded by the carnage and chaos of the moment. Abby had forgotten about her students. Her sweet innocent students who had just watched a woman that they were supposed to look up to and admire comment such horrible deeds.
"Oh god, what have I done? In front of you all. I'm so sorry my children. Don't forget to work on your time's tables!" said Abby, before she put the gun to her head and pulled the trigger.
Now here she was in hell 7 months later, in the office of the one person who said he could help her. Or at least that's what the advertisements claimed.
"You do everything right in life, play by all the rules, and still get sent down here with all the Hitlers and Epstein of the world after one measly massacre propelled by blind rage. So that's why I'm here to get my revenge," said Abby as she lit up a cigarette and smoked it as she turned to look at Blitz in the darkened room.
Was he going for a Godfather theme or something, especially with that big-ass chair.
"I mean was she hotter?" asked Blitz cleaning out his ear.
Abby's eyes widened before they narrowed in anger. "What!?" asked Abby gritting her teeth
"I mean I've having a hard time understanding the unprompted mellow you just spewed at me Suger-tits," said the boss of I.M.P with a sharp-toothed grin.
Abby growled in anger making her white hair turn pink before it floated in the air. Blitz realizing that he was in danger quickly- and quite effectively- changed tactics.
"I don't think you quite understand how this works. See we take revenge on the living and since it sounds like the core cast of your shitcom of a death are all probably down here in. hell. With. You. Boop," said Blitz before pointing his finger in her face.
Abby pushed Blitz's hand off of her and advanced on the Imp. "Not all of them, That Whore survived. Now they all call her a hero. Between the Talk shows and donations, she made so much god damned cash getting shot was the best thing that ever happened to her!" growled Abby.
All of the time people called her a crazy bitch for what she did. Her taking over her teaching job, teaching her children, and still being the WHORE, SHE WAS!
Abby slammed her hands on Blitz's desk creaking it "SHE IS NOT A HERO!" yelled Abby.
"Ma'am please calm down," said Naruto as Abby turned to look at him.
The entire time the duo were talking Naruto was taking notes, including researching things on the Hellnet. Sinners often posted things about what happened in life. He looked up Jerold and Abby Mayberry to see if he could find anything. Jerold came up alongside a web search of several men and women who had slept with either Martha- The whore in question- or her husband Ralph. Both of whom were avowed Satanists and cannibalises, alongside their kids. Their favorite targets were Handsome men and beautiful women.
Apparently, their tactic was to lure men and women to their home after flirting and sexing them up for a few days, before killing them and then preserving the meat and eating them. Their children just so happened to come from two of these arrangements since neither Martha nor her husband believed in condoms. (1)
"Wow, this family is fucked in the head I mean this is hell, but some of the shit they're into are offenses by Sinner Demon law," said Naruto as he printed off a few pages and passed them to Blitz and Abby.
Abby took a drag of her cigarette to calm her nerves. "Tell me about handsome. I think I ran into at least five guys that the skank killed," said Abby.
"What about your husband?" asked Naruto.
"Ex-husband. Our vows were till death do us part and death parted him pretty damn good," said Abby.
Naruto looked at Abby with a shrug. "Your husband was an idiot. If you were my wife, I would have been plowing you every second I had a chance to. Hell if I could get away with it I would have banged you on that nice little teacher's desk of yours. I promise you would have had at least 5 kids before we finished college.
"Considering how often his other girlfriend and I are bent over or fucked on a wall I have no doubts if we were human we'd have been knocked up," said a grinning hellhound as she entered the office with some coffee.
"DAMNIT Toony! I don't need to hear that!" yelled Blitz.
Abby looked at Naruto with a smile. "Well handsome I got a side proposition for you. Bring me that Skanks heart in a jaw and I'll give you 24/7 unrestricted access," said Abby as she pulled down her shirt and showed the valley between her large breasts.
Naruto chuckled. "Sorry ma'am, but I already have two girlfriends and their already
"He's in," said Loona.
"What the Fuck Loona/Moonlight!" yelled Moxxie Naruto and Millie.
All three are incredibly confused. Millie pulled out her Hellphone and texted Kushina. While snapping a picture of Abby.
Loona raised a brow. "What? Me and Tavia have talked about this before. We already knew that you needed more than us to get you fully off. Hell, our one-on-one sessions have left me cockdrunk and mind-broken more times than I can remember," said Loona with a goofy grin on her face.
Abby placed a hand over her mouth. "Oh my. While Jerold left me satisfied, he never left me cock drunk," said Abby.
Loona smirked. "Can I have your cell number? I'll send you some videos," said Loona as she and the Goat sinner Demoness exchanged numbers.
Naruto sighed. Of course, his girlfriends would pull something like this.
"Dinner and Bowling. I don't just have sex because a hot piece of ass wants to," said Naruto.
Abby smirked. "Honey you haven't had mature teacher pussy before. It will blow your fucking mind," said Abby.
"Okay enough grab ass around this bitch, let's talk payment and planning," said Blitz.
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Wait Yall before you go... BONUS CONTENT! Look down below
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Location: Konoha
Place: River channel
Time: Mid-day
Yuhai Kurenai lay on the ground, bleeding from the stab wound in her stomach. The trio of Kakashi, Sarutobi Asuma, and herself had gone after two intruders in the village. Both S-Ranked Criminals in the International Bingo Book. The trio fought them, but Kurenai had instead on taking Itachi seeing as how she was the best at Genjutsu in the entire village. While Itachi was hailed as a Prodigy his best skills lay in Genjutsu. A Style that Kurenai specialized in.
Of course, being good and being a Master were two completely different things. Itachi dominated the fight and placed Kurenai in the Hell known as Tsukuyomi.
While she was In Tsukiyomi Itachi made Kurenai relive the times, she used the demon brat who killed Kushina-sensei for her own pleasure and amusement. Kurenai knew what Itachi had done. Part of Genjutsu is hacking into someone's memory and using it against them. So, every time she rode the demon's- admittedly large cock for his age-, every punch, every spit, every attack on him she lived it and endured it, the first 5 times, by the 20 she began to break, by the 1000th time she was almost catatonic. Itachi only stopped because he didn't plan on putting her in a coma. No, he wanted her dead.
"Professionally I have the utmost respect for you. The esteemed Genjutsu Mistress of Konoha, with only two people in the entire village having better skills at Genjutsu than you in history. Personally, I despise you, you who were my Godmother's student! You who used my Godbrother's body for your own sexual gratification. My only regret is that I couldn't make the pain last longer," said Itachi.
"So you're on the side of Hana and Yuago," said a glaring Kurenai.
"Whatever makes you sleep better at night Yuhi,"
The Subject of Naruto was one that had split the once close-knit team and became fractured. They all knew who Uzumaki Naruto was, they all knew about the Orphanage, and they even complained to the Hokage, but because of the fact that the Orphanage was a Civilian-Council-run program, there was nothing the Hokage could do about it for a long time.
"I have committed no sins and even if you kill me my students and comrades will avenge me," said Kurenai.
Itachi took his blade and pointed it at Kurenai's neck. "Revenge is a fool's game. It's something I tried to ensure that my little brother doesn't follow but I'll carry the sin of your death on my shoulders if it helps ease the pain of my godbrother's death," said Itachi taking off Kurenai's head.
The last thing that Kurenai saw or heard was Itachi's face, and Asuma yelling her name.
Location: Imp City, Pride Ring
Place: Streets
Time: same time as above. (In the I.M.P office)
Kurenai's eyes shot open as her hand flew to her throat. She felt for a scar but found nothing. Insistently her training kicked in and she looked around. Tall buildings that reminded her of Ame, Red skies that were completely unnatural, and reminded her of Tsukuyomi.
"I thought I was dead," said Kurenai.
"You are. Welcome to the streets of hell," said a voice that just so happened to be passing her in the street.
Kurenai turned to look at the person and her eyes widened. The person was carrying a bag of groceries in her arms. Her skin was much paler, her eyes were purple eyes were now surrounded by a red scapula, and her fingers were blackened. Her hair was a darker red with the ends turning black at the tips, the black and white halo hovering above her, and small black wings behind her back. Those were the only changes, but Kurenai knew this woman. This was her sensei. A woman who had been like a second mother to her after her own mother had died during the third war.
"K-Kushina-sensei," said Kurenai in shock seeing her sensei.
"Nai-chan!" said Kushina.
M-Kurama looked at Kurenai and tried to place where he knew her from. The problem was that he didn't have his Chakra and while he could read people's minds now this woman's was a jumble.
"Nai-chan how did you get here?" asked Kushina.
"I... I was decapitated, recently," said Kurenai as she touched her throat where a white line ran through her throat.
"Well, I can't have one of my students staying on the streets. I need you to come home with me," said Kushina.
Kurenai opened her mouth to speak but stopped when Kushina's device rang. Kushina picked it up.
"WHAT! Naruto-kun had another bitch! Damnit why can't I have anyone to have sex with? I've been celibate for years now.
"I'll fuck you Kushina," said M-Kurama smirking.
"Can it fox!" yelled Kushina.
"Fox?" Though Kurenai.
"Oh this is the Kyubi-no-Kitsune," said Kushina.
M-Kurama shifted into its Female form and smiled as she held up her hand. "Yooho,"
"What if that is the Kyubi who destroyed the village, then where is Naruto?" asked Kurenai dreading the answer.
"Oh, Naruto is a work. We'll have to have a dinner party later to introduce you to him. I'm just sorry that you never got to be the big sister/sensei you wanted to be to him," said Kushina. "Naruto is also something of a big shot here in hell. He is easily one of if not the most powerful Overlords in Hell. He's even dating the daughter of a prince.
Kurenai was fucked.
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And Cut. I'd like everyone's option on something. I'll tell everyone what I'm thinking in the next chapter after I get a clearer understanding of what I'm thinking. It may help with the story as a whole.
A/n
1: It was confirmed that Martha, Ralph, and their kids are cannabel's/Satanists. I wouldn't be shocked in the slightest if some/All of their victims ended up in hell.