Mason
Darkness covers the house, falling into every crevasse and corner. Each blind and drape pulled down to its lowest form. I sneak through the house, unheard, unnoticed. Or at least it appears that way. The floor rattles under my step, I pause for a moment, listening for a sign that the mood has suddenly changed. I reach for the railing of the steep stair case, my feet clunk against the first step, warning me that I better be a bit quieter, if I don't want to wake anyone. Silence engulfs me, sweeping into every room. Gulping I reach for the knob of my bedroom...
"Did you just get in?" Busted. My hand freezes on the cool knob. I stay glued in my spot, my heartbeat throbbing in my ears. I try moving forward, maybe he won't notice. My right foot snakes forward, a firm hand lands on my back before I can go any further. I clench my body, showing fear would be the worst thing I can do right now. They are like dogs they can sense when you are afraid, they sniff you out then attack at your weakest moment. I remain still, I won't speak until he does.
"Well-" I guess he's not going to forget about his question.
"I-I was- I was just..." He turns me around rather forcefully. Thankfully its dark, I don't know if I want to see what he looks like right now. His fingers dig into my shoulder blades causing me to wince.
"Get your ass into our bedroom." Ew, I don't want to go in there, who knows what they've been doing. If I was Logan I would make a comment, but I'm not. I trudge into the bedroom, the door opens loudly. A light is immediately flicked on, there sits my mom chewing on her bottom lip.
"Where have you been?" She hisses. I shake my head, running my fingers over my face. I feel a thud against my back, I fall forward a bit regaining my composure before looking up at my dad.
"Owe." I clutch the spot the best I can. He doesn't seem to care, his face is set into a cold stony look and I get the urge to run like the fucking wind.
"If you know what's best for you, you'll sit down and shut the fuck up." I knew there was a first for everything, but I was just hoping the first time I heard my dad swear it would not be directed at me. I slowly walk over to the chair in the corner of their dimly lit bedroom. I hang my head, slumping into the uncomfortable wicker chair. I link my fingers together, anything to distract myself from the wrath I am about to endure.
"We called all your friends houses, we asked your brother and sister where you were. We searched every where. You have no business being out on a school night till eleven at fucking night, or any night for that matter. Who the hell do you think you are-" My dad bellows, if the whole house wasn't up when this started they sure as hell are now.
"John." My mom admonishes. I don't think she's on my side though. They never are on separate sides, that would be interesting if they were though. "Mason." She starts calmly, but in a matter of seconds her voice rises, her anger and fear now surfacing. "You had no damn business doing that. You scared the shit out of us. We looked every where for you." Yeah, I bet you didn't even notice I was gone until a few hours ago. I shake my head, I hate my family.
"Well?" My dad says, Well what? I wasn't asked any questions, well maybe I was, but I don't remember. I shrug, bringing my gaze up to meet his momentarily. I drop it when I see his blood shot eyes. He's going to kill me. "Are you going to explain yourself or do we have to beat it out of you?"
"We're not beating anything out of anyone, John." She sighs, exasperated as well. "Mason-" The warning in her voice is evident.
"I was at my soccer championships. Which you should have known, you said you were going to be there." I stand up running out of the room, I don't care anymore. Its always been this way, I've always been the child that fades into the background, blends in with the grey cement. Something has always gotten in the way, worrying about me has never been their top priority. I've never been good at school, or especially bad, or misbehaved. Nothing to catch their eye, or deserve their attention. I was sort of relishing in the attention I just received. I am assuming they didn't realise I was missing until dinner. When they set the table for seven and only six showed up.
My running turns into a slow jog, I slam the door behind me, turning around the click the lock. I don't want anyone in here. Not now, not ever. I wish they would all just leave me alone. I bury my face into my pillow, sobs slowly escape. I wish they were there. There to see my team win the championship and go on to the state finals. They're is always one child, the middle child. Which I am, and that kid always gets forgotten.
"You're home?" I look up at a sleepy Zac. Great, I woke the devil. I ignore him, I don't want to hear it. He tries so hard to be like Logan, its annoying. Most people think we might be closer than we are, we're twins, well triplets, with Lexie, but we're not close. He's closer with Jer than me. "Mom and dad were pissed when they found out you weren't home for dinner." I knew it. "They were even more upset when they found out they didn't know where the hell you were. You're such a dumb fuck sometimes."
I pick my pillow up from underneath my head and chuck it at him. He screeches at me, oh well, cry baby. A banging on the door brings him out of bed. I grab for his shirt before he can get to the door. He pushes me off, not much of an effort there. The door is soon clicked open, I bury my head in my other pillow.
"Mason." Great, its mom. I don't want to see either of them.
"Go away." I sniffle. She pushes Zac out of the way, moving to sit on my bed. I feel her hand go to my back, I shove it away. I hear her sigh slightly, picking herself off my bed. Thanks a lot mom.
The house is silent, deafening, eerie. Different quite than last night. I make my way down the stairs, my fingers rub over my sleepy eyes. I shuffle down the stairs, almost tripping over my feet. I'm not sure, but I think something's up. Did they forget about me again? I forgot to set my alarm clock, and no one woke me up. Hmmm, something is weird. Really weird, normally I hear them banging around in the bathroom. But I couldn't have been that out, could I? I walk through the kitchen, its relatively clean, but I can see that Logan was trying to make breakfast, he obviously went a little more fancy than his regular pop tarts or cereal. The sun bounces off the shiny, clean tap. I grab a glass out of the cupboard, pouring myself a glass of water. I take a sip, checking the rest of the house for life. Not even the turtle. Logan's turtle. He must have caged the little bastard.
"Hello?" I call out, no answer. Where could they be? They probably went on a family vacation and forgot to bring me. Great I'm the next McCauley Caulkin, that's the last thing I need. The phone brings me out of my reverie. I should have checked the phone, why did I not think of that better. They might have left a message on the machine. Hell this could be them now.
"Hello?" I lunge for the phone in Dad's office, I breathe heavily into the receiver.
"Hello, is Mr. Or Mrs. Carter home?" Great telemarketer. Grr. No clue there.
I head back into the kitchen, flipping the play button on the answering machine. I do have messages. Three new ones. "Hey Abby, John and kids. Its grandma," Oh its Crazy McCrazy. "I'm just calling to see how everyone is, I know one of the boys had their Soccer game last night... Who was it? Oh boy. I can't remember. Give me a second it will come to me. Mason. Mason- That's who it was. Anyways, I hope you won sweetie. I love you all." How is it that Maggie remembers, the woman whose memory is practically gone, hell she can't remember my name, but she can remember my championship game. How can she remember but not my own family?
"Hey Logan this is Chrissie-" Skip that one. I don't need to hear that.
"Mason, when you get this message come down to County. See yah in a bit kiddo." Dad, well he at least called me, sort of.
I'm not really in any hurry to go see them, I check my watch, ten o'clock. I get a day off of school, I think I'm going to milk this for all its worth.
I throw on a pair of jeans, a baggy sweatshirt, and a hat to cover my horrible hair. I decide to take the L. I lock the door on the way out, heading for the stop that is right by the house. Mom and dad hated us taking the L, but lately they have loosened up on it. We have to start being independent eventually. I walk into an empty train, sitting down next to a hot girl. I know I am suppose to be mad at my parents, but I think if I was able to screw this girl, all the anger I had towards them would diminish. She catches me staring at her, my cheeks turn a light crimson colour. She smiles back at me sheepishly. The train comes to an abrupt halt, I realise this is my stop. She doesn't appear to be getting up, damn it. I should ask her for her number, but I really am too nervous. I smile at her one more time, and get off the train. Damn mom and dad, why do you have to work here, if you worked farther I could have stayed with her longer. I bound down the steps, anxious to get this over with. Although I do love going to County. I'm the only one in my family who does, not including my parents, sometimes I wonder though. I want to be a Doctor one day. I'm not really sure why, its the mixture of helping people, and just the amazement I get when I watch my parents in action... No, not that type of action, I've been blessed and never had to see that.
The automatic doors burst open, the bustle of the ER fills my ears. Its more of a home to me than my own home. At least it feels that way. I approach the admit desk, Frank is scarffing down a donut, that man is going to die a brutal death. Cause: A chocolate pastry treat. I never knew donuts could be so evil.
"Hey Frank, do you know where my parents are?" He swallows the last chunk of donut, before answering me.
"Where are the other musketeers." I shrug, school probably. He rolls his eyes, "Try the lounge kid. You keep playing hooky you're gonna end up being one stupid boy." Yeah, well this wasn't my idea. Not that I'm complaining. Never complain when you are given the day off school.
I push into the lounge, medical books are stacked sky high on the counter. Another pile lays on the table. It looks like they are playing pirates, they have forts set up everywhere. Hey this is kind of cool. I look around the room, imagining Luka and my dad participating in a sword fight. I snicker at the thought, causing an unknown sleeper to stir. I peek over the stack of books and see my dad peering back at me sleepily.
"You just get here?" I nod sheepishly. He tosses the blanket off of him, and crumples it into a ball at the end of the couch. "I've been here since three in the morning." He stands up, walking over to the coffee machine, pouring him self a mug of the lukewarm liquid. Bringing it to his lips he cringes a little. "Let's go." He gestures towards the door with his chin.
"Where?" I follow him, watching as he throws a chart into a pile at admit.
"I don't know, where do you feel like going? Ike's?" Sure, why not. He's offering me a free meal. I nod following him into the ambulance bay. The sun hangs in the sky, playing deceitful, making us believe it might actually be a warm spring day. Until the cool air hits us like a ton of bricks.
"Cold." My dad states plainly. Well he's right there. It is cold.
"Yup." I wrap my arms tighter around my body. Taking the L for most of the way here, I didn't really realise how cool it was. He starts off towards the river, I thought we were going to Ike's?
"Where are we going?" I jog a little, trying to match him pace for pace.
"I figured we could talk. You know, man to man?" I nod a little. That's the first time I've been called a man. Usually I'm referred to as a little boy. A boy that knows shit all according to my brothers. Bastards.
"About?" I ask trying to get back on track. He shrugs a little looking out onto the river, a stirring in the water makes it crash against the cement. I look up at him, remembering when I was younger. He would always take care of me, play with me. We were closer, I saw him differently, in a new light. He wasn't just my dad, he was the man I wanted to become. I guess in a way I am becoming him. Overtime things happened, we drifted, the other kids needed his attention more than I did, or more than it appeared that I did. But I did, and I do.
"Anything you want." He sighs, smiling down at me. His hair flies carelessly in the wind, as he runs his chapped fingers through it.
"That's kind of broad don't you think?" He chuckles softly, nodding at me.
"Yeah, yeah I guess." We walk in silence, listening to the soft puttering of the water. A few children run by, their rambles filling our ears for a short period of time. "Look Mason," He stars, bringing me out of my dreaming state. "I'm sorry... I screwed up." He sighs. "I never wanted to be that dad."
"That dad?" I ask puzzled. What kind of dad is he talking about? The kind that misses their kids soccer game because they didn't want to go? Or the kind that just forgot? Forgot about the game, and their kid.
"My dad." Oh. Dad never says much about Grandpa, I know they aren't close. I'm not exactly sure about the specifics, but I know that dad doesn't know where he places in dad's life... I kind of psycho analyse people from time to time. "After Bobby..." He pauses, taking a deep breath, preparing to repeat a tale I can tell he hasn't repeated in a few years. "When my brother died, well things changed. Everything changed. My relationship with my parents, mainly. We grew apart. I know over the past few years, with Logan, and work and Lexi and her drama even, not too mention what the hell the other two get themselves into. Anyways, I know that that has happened to you and I... I don't want it too. We use to be close, remember when you were little?" He asks wistfully. Memories suddenly flood my mind. Dad taking me to the park, piggy back rides, hide and seek, cookies before dinner, hiding moms shoes... I just wish I knew what happened to that.
"Yeah." I sigh, he probably wonders too.
"I love you, Mason." I look up at him for a moment, our eyes locking. "And I don't want to loose you, I fear you're slipping away from us already. You're only thirteen and we talk less and less everyday." He pulls me closer to him, grabbing me loosely by the neck. Soon I am being shoved into his chest, pulled into an awkward hug. I wrap my arms around my dad, a fluttering feeling takes over my stomach. He still cares.
"Hey." We both look over to see mom, I wave at her, wiping away a tear that is threatening to fall. She pulls me into a hug placing a kiss on my cheek, dad's hand rests on my back. "I'm so sorry Mason." Cupping my face with her hands she kisses me on the nose.
"Its okay mom," I smile. Really, its okay.
The three of us walk off down the river, stopping for a cup of coffee for them, a hot dog for me. Mom and dad's hands clasped together, laughter rings through the air. Is this what its like to be cared about again? Do they finally realise that maybe I'm worth their attention just as much as the others? I don't know, but I know I miss them, I've missed them so much. Having my parents back, well its the greatest feeling in the world right now. I can't help but smile, I can't help but wonder if things will always be like this. Even if they aren't, even if things change so drastically that I don't know who I am, don't know where I am going. I know that they will find a moment to comfort me, bring me back here, back to a place that a feel comfortable. A place that its only me and my parents.