Eli woke up and stretched. She looked around herself in confusion. She
didn't remembering going back to her room. She looked to her side and saw
Una start to wake up. She got from under the covers and shook Una. "C'mon,
time to get up." She told her.
"Five more minutes." She mumbled as she turned over.
She shook her head. "No, Una. Get up now! It's still raining, and we can go play in the puddles!" She told her. Una sprung up immediately.
"Okay, okay." She said excitedly.
The two little girls got out of the bed and started toward the door. Eli grabbed her black sweater and threw it on. She gave another one to Una, who put it on. "Sh." She told Una as they quietly opened the door and went down the hall. They tipped toed down the stairs and heard the adults talking in then Living room. They saw only a glance of them sitting together on the couch as they came down the stairs.
They silently crept to the front door. Eli stood on her tip toes and fumbled with the locks until each one quietly clicked and unlocked the door. She smirked as the door swung open. They saw the rain pouring and ran out into it, leaving the door open.
Outside, they shrieked, knowing that the adults were too far away to hear them. They held hands and turned round and round, getting soaked. "It's raining, it's pouring, and the old man is snoring. He got out of bed and bumped his head, and couldn't get up in the morning!" They yelled. "Rain, rain, stay, stay, stay. And come again everyday. Una and Eli want to play! Rain, rain, stay, stay!"
The laughed as every inch of them was wet. They started jumping in circles as they went round and round. "Ring around the rosie, pocket full of posies, ashes, ashes, we all fall down!" They screamed out as the fell into the puddle they had been jumping in.
Una scooped up some of the muddy water and flung it at Eli. She stopped laughing and flung some back. Soon, they were in a water/mud flinging war as they tried to peg each other. After about fifteen minutes of this, they both stopped because they found out that jumping in the puddles was funnier and cleaner.
They both tried out some elaborate jumps, like ballet leaps and hop frogs, but then they stopped because they were both now shivering from the cold.
Una hugged her arms. "Let's go back inside now." She said as she rubbed her arms up and down to warm them up. Eli nodded.
They ran back into the mansion and shut the door, remembering not to slam it. They sat down against the door once they had it shut and removed their shoes, socks, and sweaters. Una pouted. "What will I do for clothes?" She whispered as she looked down on the wet clothes that were clinging to her.
"Don't worry; you can borrow some of mine." Eli whispered back. Soaking, they started their way back to Eli's room.
They were extra quiet as they passed the adults. They were on the third step when they peeked in at the adults. Both girls shrank back out of shock. Eli looked to Una.
"Should they be doing that?" She whispered. Una shrugged her shoulders.
Sickly fascinated, both girls came back down the stairs and slowly came into the Living room. Both adults were oblivious to the little girls. They stopped at just pass the door and kept staring for another minute.
Eli tilted her head, confused. "Don't you guys need to breath?" She asked them.
Both adults broke apart suddenly at the voice. They were both breathless and panting. Sara wasn't sure how they had ended up like this. One minute they were talking, the next they were just making out and..... 'Ah, my head hurts' she thought to herself.
They turned toward the girls, who were staring at them as if they were insane. "What were you guys doing?" Eli asked.
Before either Ian or Sara could mumble something out, Una cut in.
"I know, they were doing mouth to mouth recesisumation." She answered loudly.
Ian looked at the little one. "Recesisumation?" He asked. She nodded.
"Uh huh, I saw mommy and Daddy doing the same thing when Midja brought me home from school, and that's what Daddy said they were doing." Una told them as she giggled. "But Midja calls it was tonsil hockey."
That made both her and Eli start laughing until there were tears in their eyes. All it took was one little whisper of 'tonsil hockey' and they started laughing all over again. The adults shook their heads at them, grateful they didn't know what had actually occurred.
Ian noticed that they were wet and his eyes narrowed. "How come you two are soaking wet?" He asked them.
They stopped laughing and looked at each other. "We were playing outside in the rain." Eli said honestly.
He groaned and looked at her seriously. "Eli, didn't I tell you that you were not suppose to go off by yourselves?" He asked sternly.
"But we-" She tried to argue.
"Answer the question." He told her.
"Yes, you said not to go off by ourselves." She said quietly as she put her head down.
"Exactly. What do I have to do to make you understand how dangerous it is for you to go off by yourself?" He shook his head. "You two go up stairs and put on some dry clothes. And after you are done, I want you two to stay in there until I tell you you can come out. And I better not hear any yelling or screaming." He told them.
They nodded. "Yes, Ian." They mumbled. They walked out, nut not before he caught a glimpse of Eli's face. She was crying, but he could tell she was trying not to. After they had left the room he sighed and sat down.
Sara sat down next to him. "Hey, it had to be done, and you did it better than I could have." She told him.
"She was crying." He said sadly.
Sara shrugged. "Just crocodile tears. Don't worry, she won't hate you forever, and I doubt she can keep angry for long." She assured him and then sighed. "That little girl loves everyone, that's why she gets everyone to love her."
Ian thought about for a second, and then nodded. "Yeah, you're right. She really does love everybody, and that does make her loveable." He agreed. "Thanks."
"Anytime."
-Later-
"Say say my enemy
Come out and fight with me
And bring your weapons three
Climb up my torture tree
Slide down my razor blade
Into my snake pit
And we'll be enemies
Forever more,
One Two Three Four."
The girls were whispering their hand games from on top of Eli's bed. They had been stuck in her room for a little over an hour. After changing their clothes, the girls had quietly just sat around whispering, not sure if they would get in trouble for playing. Now, they were silently clapping hands and waiting to be released.
"Oh little enemy
Come out and fight with me
Bring out your bee-bee gun
And we'll have so much fun
I'll shoot your eye out
And let you bleed to death
And we'll be enemi-"
They heard steps in the hallway and stopped. They separated onto different sides of the bed, backs toward each other. The door opened and they both looked over to the person standing there.
"I was sent to relieve you of your punishment." Sara smirked and shook her head. "I know you two weren't like this the whole time." She said as she came in. The girls tried to look innocent, but glanced at each other and started giggling. Sara came over and tapped the top of Una's head. "Let's go grab your stuff. We have to go."
Una stopped giggling and looked up to Sara, wide eyed in sorrow. "No, no, no, not yet! Auntie Sara, can't we stay longer?" She begged.
"It's late, and I have to get you back to my apartment in time to get some dinner for us." She told her.
Una shook her head. "Can't we eat here? We have left overs from lunch! Please, I don't want to go yet."
"Una-"
"Can't you guys sleep over?" Eli asked as she stood up on the bed. Una and Sara turned to her. "We could have a slumber party!" She said excitedly.
"Yeah!" Una agreed. "Can we, Auntie Sara, please, please, please, please!" The little girl pleaded as Eli jumped off the bed and ran out the door and over to the stair railing.
"Iaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!" She screamed out. She ran back into her room. "He'll be coming." She told them.
When Ian came into her room, he looked at Eli sternly. "I's prefer it if you did not try to break the windows. Now, what do you want?"
She pouted. "Ian...." She said sweetly, making him want to wince. "Can Me and Una have a slumber party tonight?" She paused for a second to put on her puppy dog look. "Please?"
He took a deep breath. It wasn't right for kids to have this much of an influence over adults with just facial expressions. He made the mistake of glancing over at Una and saw her look as well. Ugh, if children could be angels, they certainly could be demons. "Sure, fine. As long as it's okay with Sara." He told her.
They turned to Sara. "Please? Please? Please? Please? Please?" They begged together.
She sighed. She was no more immune to puppy dog looks than Ian was. "All right. I guess." She answered.
"Yay!" The girls cheered as they jumped up and down in joy. "We're gonna have a slumber party! We're gonna have a slumber party!"
Just then, the little girl's stomachs growled. Eli bit her lip and stopped jumping. "I have a rumbly in my tummy. Maybe we should eat the left overs from lunch now..."
"No!" The adults shouted at the same time. The girls looked at them curiously.
Sara cleared her throat. "What we mean is... It's a party, right? So, we should get pizza or something like that." She told them, trying hard to cover up with her lie.
Una smiled. "Yeah, pizza!" Eli agreed. They would have pizza. The very relieved adults then escorted the girls down to the living room to occupy them with cartoons while they waited for the pizza to come.
-Later-
The pizza was demolished upon arrival. The girls had all ready taken pieces out before it had reached the kitchen. They had been sitting quietly on top of the counter. That is, until Eli had looked up at the clock and turned to Una and mumbled
"Ick is on!!" Una looked at the clock and nodded.
"Et's go!" With that, both girls jumped off the counter. Eli landed off and fell forward. But before Ian could even ask her if she was okay, she was up and running. Una ran back and quickly grabbed the last piece of pizza, stuffing her previous piece into her mouth before running off.
Ian and Sara looked at each other, confused, before they went after them. The girls were in the living room fumbling with the remote, getting grease everywhere. They hadn't bothered to sit on the couch, but instead were sitting on the floor directly in front of the TV.
"Hey, half pints, what's with all this?" Eli, whose mouth was full of pizza, tried to explain it to Sara as she flipped through the channels. She finally gulped everything in her mouth down.
"Snick is on! We wanna watch All That and Amanda show!" She told her as she got to NickToons. "Yay, we haven't missed it!"
Ian shook his head at them. "Do all children do this?" He asked Sara. She shrugged. "More or less. Hey, at least they will be giving us less grief." She told him as she sat down on the couch, him following her.
Just then, the show started. And to the horror of both adults, they found out that both girls had a thing for singing off tune. "Ohhhhhhhhhh, All thaaaaaaaaaat! This is All That, this is Allllllllllllllll THAT!" They sang along. When it go to the rapping, they started cheering or booing the actors in the show. Then, the chorus came back up an they were singing again, the windows starting to rattle from all the noise.
Just before Ian thought he would go deaf, the beginning credits ended and the show started, much to his relief. Sara, on the other hand, thought it was adorable and just laughed. She glanced at him. "What's wrong?"
He shook his head. "Nothing. Nothing." He said
The show turned out to be a PG version of Saturday Night Live, with certain segments that must have been a regular event, since the girls would shout things out with the TV. They kept saying 'It's coming soon, it's coming soon!' And when it did come, they were practically bouncing.
"It's time for Ask Ashley!" The TV announced.
"Yay!!" They said as their eyes got big as plates and remained glued to the screen, talking with the character. "Thhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaatttttt's Me!" The whole point of the skit was a teenage girl giving out advice to people who wrote to her show. She would read a letter, and then scream at the person who wrote the letter at the top of her lungs like a PMS-ing woman who couldn't find chocolate.
Ian was not amused by 'Ashley' and was all too relieved when they got to the musical guest. 'That actress, Amanda what ever her last name is, must be the most annoying person I have ever seen. Thank any higher beings that the show is over and that I will not have to watch her again!' He thought to himself, a bit too soon.
"Welcome to the Amanda Show!!!!! Amanda, manda, manda, manda! Amanda, manda, manda, The Amanda Show!"
The poor assassin couldn't keep from groaning. It was loud enough to get the girls attention and made them turn around. "What's wrong?" Eli asked curiously. "Do you have a tummy ache? Cause it sound like you have a tummy ache."
"No, but would you mind watching something else?" He asked her calmly, trying not to pay attention to the annoying screaming thing on the TV screen.
Both girls pouted. "But it's a new episode...." Eli argued, getting close to tears. Una's lip was trembling and it was only a matter of moments before they would get to water works from both girls.
Sara was in no mood for glass shattering crying and looked around, spotting Una's backpack. "Hey, Una, didn't you bring a movie to watch?" She asked her.
"Oh yeah, I brought Mulan with me. Wanna watch that instead? I even brought pop corn." She told Eli as she reached for her back pack.
"Oh, oh, pop corn! Yeah, we can eat it as we watch the movie. Let's pop it now!" Una pulled the pop corn out of her over stuffed back pack and they went to go pop it in the kitchen, when Sara went after then and grabbed them by the back of their shirts to make them stop. "No popping for you two."
"Why not, Auntie Sara?" Una asked, everyone in the room, the other adult included, looking at her in confusion.
She turned to Ian. "Um, Microwave, a machine that melts stuff in the hands of destructive little ones?" He nodded and took it from her.
As he left, the girls pouted. "Hey, why don't you watch a bit more of your show?" The girls looked back at the screen. Una sighed. "Okay." she said half hearted as the went over to the couch to watch TV.
When Ian returned, they had all ready put the movie in. The girls both practically attacked him when he came in with the pop corn. He had them sit down at the fancy coffee table that was all ready ruined from Eli's food binge the Saturday prior. He gave them the bag and told them not to get it everywhere and hoped for the best.
"This is what you give me to work with?
Well, honey, I've seen worse
We're going to turn this sow's ear
Into a silk purse
We'll have you
Washed and dried
Primped and polished till you glow with pride
Trust my recipe for instant bride
You'll bring honor to us all"
The girls sat on opposite sides of the table, trying to get pop corn into each other's mouths. Eli hit Una's forehead. Una smirked and they got themselves into a pop corn war.
"Wait and see
When we're through
Boys will gladly go to war for you
With good fortune and a great hairdo
You'll bring honor to us all
A girl can bring her family
Great honor in one way
By striking a good match
And this could be the day"
The girls were soon forced to stop when they accidently pegged Sara with a handful of pop corn. They were made to pick it all up, grumbling as they had to crawl to get it all.
"Men want girls with good taste
Calm
Obedient
Who work fast-paced
With good breeding
And a tiny waist
You'll bring honor to us all
We all must serve our Emperor
Who guards us from the Huns
A man by bearing arms
A girl by bearing sons.
When we're through you can't fail
Like a lotus blossom soft and palm
How could any fellow say "No sale"
You'll bring honor to us all."
"Hey, what's so important about a matchmaker? Why did she get to choose whether they get married or not?"
"Because that was her job! If she didn't like you, you either didn't get married, or married a dirty, ugly old man who smelled like cabbage. See! That's why they are praying.
"Ancestors
Hear my plea
Help me not to make a fool of me
And to not uproot my fam'ly tree
Keep my father standing tall
Scarier than the undertaker
We are meeting our matchmaker
Destiny
Guard our girls
And our future as it fast unfurls
Please look kindly on these cultured pearls
Each a perfect porcelain doll."
"Ohhh. Will we have to go see a matchmaker one day?" Eli asked, a bit scared.
"Nah, only way way back in ancient times." Una answered.
"Oh. So, Sara did you have to do that?" Eli asked her innocently as Sara started choking on the last of her soda.
Sara stared at the little girl as she wiped her mouth. "No, sweetie, I did not." She said in between clenched teeth. Eli shrugged and turned back to the TV.
"She's a child." Ian reminded her quietly.
"I know, don't worry. I won't kill your baby sat. But still..."
"Do not worry, you look perfect." Sara immediately turned to look at him, but he had all ready directed his attention to the screen.
"Hey, Auntie Sara," Una said suddenly. "Do you feel okay? You're cheeks look all red and pink like the blush stuff mommy puts on."
"Please bring honor to us
Please bring honor to us
Please bring honor to us
Please bring honor to us
Please bring honor to us all."
"Five more minutes." She mumbled as she turned over.
She shook her head. "No, Una. Get up now! It's still raining, and we can go play in the puddles!" She told her. Una sprung up immediately.
"Okay, okay." She said excitedly.
The two little girls got out of the bed and started toward the door. Eli grabbed her black sweater and threw it on. She gave another one to Una, who put it on. "Sh." She told Una as they quietly opened the door and went down the hall. They tipped toed down the stairs and heard the adults talking in then Living room. They saw only a glance of them sitting together on the couch as they came down the stairs.
They silently crept to the front door. Eli stood on her tip toes and fumbled with the locks until each one quietly clicked and unlocked the door. She smirked as the door swung open. They saw the rain pouring and ran out into it, leaving the door open.
Outside, they shrieked, knowing that the adults were too far away to hear them. They held hands and turned round and round, getting soaked. "It's raining, it's pouring, and the old man is snoring. He got out of bed and bumped his head, and couldn't get up in the morning!" They yelled. "Rain, rain, stay, stay, stay. And come again everyday. Una and Eli want to play! Rain, rain, stay, stay!"
The laughed as every inch of them was wet. They started jumping in circles as they went round and round. "Ring around the rosie, pocket full of posies, ashes, ashes, we all fall down!" They screamed out as the fell into the puddle they had been jumping in.
Una scooped up some of the muddy water and flung it at Eli. She stopped laughing and flung some back. Soon, they were in a water/mud flinging war as they tried to peg each other. After about fifteen minutes of this, they both stopped because they found out that jumping in the puddles was funnier and cleaner.
They both tried out some elaborate jumps, like ballet leaps and hop frogs, but then they stopped because they were both now shivering from the cold.
Una hugged her arms. "Let's go back inside now." She said as she rubbed her arms up and down to warm them up. Eli nodded.
They ran back into the mansion and shut the door, remembering not to slam it. They sat down against the door once they had it shut and removed their shoes, socks, and sweaters. Una pouted. "What will I do for clothes?" She whispered as she looked down on the wet clothes that were clinging to her.
"Don't worry; you can borrow some of mine." Eli whispered back. Soaking, they started their way back to Eli's room.
They were extra quiet as they passed the adults. They were on the third step when they peeked in at the adults. Both girls shrank back out of shock. Eli looked to Una.
"Should they be doing that?" She whispered. Una shrugged her shoulders.
Sickly fascinated, both girls came back down the stairs and slowly came into the Living room. Both adults were oblivious to the little girls. They stopped at just pass the door and kept staring for another minute.
Eli tilted her head, confused. "Don't you guys need to breath?" She asked them.
Both adults broke apart suddenly at the voice. They were both breathless and panting. Sara wasn't sure how they had ended up like this. One minute they were talking, the next they were just making out and..... 'Ah, my head hurts' she thought to herself.
They turned toward the girls, who were staring at them as if they were insane. "What were you guys doing?" Eli asked.
Before either Ian or Sara could mumble something out, Una cut in.
"I know, they were doing mouth to mouth recesisumation." She answered loudly.
Ian looked at the little one. "Recesisumation?" He asked. She nodded.
"Uh huh, I saw mommy and Daddy doing the same thing when Midja brought me home from school, and that's what Daddy said they were doing." Una told them as she giggled. "But Midja calls it was tonsil hockey."
That made both her and Eli start laughing until there were tears in their eyes. All it took was one little whisper of 'tonsil hockey' and they started laughing all over again. The adults shook their heads at them, grateful they didn't know what had actually occurred.
Ian noticed that they were wet and his eyes narrowed. "How come you two are soaking wet?" He asked them.
They stopped laughing and looked at each other. "We were playing outside in the rain." Eli said honestly.
He groaned and looked at her seriously. "Eli, didn't I tell you that you were not suppose to go off by yourselves?" He asked sternly.
"But we-" She tried to argue.
"Answer the question." He told her.
"Yes, you said not to go off by ourselves." She said quietly as she put her head down.
"Exactly. What do I have to do to make you understand how dangerous it is for you to go off by yourself?" He shook his head. "You two go up stairs and put on some dry clothes. And after you are done, I want you two to stay in there until I tell you you can come out. And I better not hear any yelling or screaming." He told them.
They nodded. "Yes, Ian." They mumbled. They walked out, nut not before he caught a glimpse of Eli's face. She was crying, but he could tell she was trying not to. After they had left the room he sighed and sat down.
Sara sat down next to him. "Hey, it had to be done, and you did it better than I could have." She told him.
"She was crying." He said sadly.
Sara shrugged. "Just crocodile tears. Don't worry, she won't hate you forever, and I doubt she can keep angry for long." She assured him and then sighed. "That little girl loves everyone, that's why she gets everyone to love her."
Ian thought about for a second, and then nodded. "Yeah, you're right. She really does love everybody, and that does make her loveable." He agreed. "Thanks."
"Anytime."
-Later-
"Say say my enemy
Come out and fight with me
And bring your weapons three
Climb up my torture tree
Slide down my razor blade
Into my snake pit
And we'll be enemies
Forever more,
One Two Three Four."
The girls were whispering their hand games from on top of Eli's bed. They had been stuck in her room for a little over an hour. After changing their clothes, the girls had quietly just sat around whispering, not sure if they would get in trouble for playing. Now, they were silently clapping hands and waiting to be released.
"Oh little enemy
Come out and fight with me
Bring out your bee-bee gun
And we'll have so much fun
I'll shoot your eye out
And let you bleed to death
And we'll be enemi-"
They heard steps in the hallway and stopped. They separated onto different sides of the bed, backs toward each other. The door opened and they both looked over to the person standing there.
"I was sent to relieve you of your punishment." Sara smirked and shook her head. "I know you two weren't like this the whole time." She said as she came in. The girls tried to look innocent, but glanced at each other and started giggling. Sara came over and tapped the top of Una's head. "Let's go grab your stuff. We have to go."
Una stopped giggling and looked up to Sara, wide eyed in sorrow. "No, no, no, not yet! Auntie Sara, can't we stay longer?" She begged.
"It's late, and I have to get you back to my apartment in time to get some dinner for us." She told her.
Una shook her head. "Can't we eat here? We have left overs from lunch! Please, I don't want to go yet."
"Una-"
"Can't you guys sleep over?" Eli asked as she stood up on the bed. Una and Sara turned to her. "We could have a slumber party!" She said excitedly.
"Yeah!" Una agreed. "Can we, Auntie Sara, please, please, please, please!" The little girl pleaded as Eli jumped off the bed and ran out the door and over to the stair railing.
"Iaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!" She screamed out. She ran back into her room. "He'll be coming." She told them.
When Ian came into her room, he looked at Eli sternly. "I's prefer it if you did not try to break the windows. Now, what do you want?"
She pouted. "Ian...." She said sweetly, making him want to wince. "Can Me and Una have a slumber party tonight?" She paused for a second to put on her puppy dog look. "Please?"
He took a deep breath. It wasn't right for kids to have this much of an influence over adults with just facial expressions. He made the mistake of glancing over at Una and saw her look as well. Ugh, if children could be angels, they certainly could be demons. "Sure, fine. As long as it's okay with Sara." He told her.
They turned to Sara. "Please? Please? Please? Please? Please?" They begged together.
She sighed. She was no more immune to puppy dog looks than Ian was. "All right. I guess." She answered.
"Yay!" The girls cheered as they jumped up and down in joy. "We're gonna have a slumber party! We're gonna have a slumber party!"
Just then, the little girl's stomachs growled. Eli bit her lip and stopped jumping. "I have a rumbly in my tummy. Maybe we should eat the left overs from lunch now..."
"No!" The adults shouted at the same time. The girls looked at them curiously.
Sara cleared her throat. "What we mean is... It's a party, right? So, we should get pizza or something like that." She told them, trying hard to cover up with her lie.
Una smiled. "Yeah, pizza!" Eli agreed. They would have pizza. The very relieved adults then escorted the girls down to the living room to occupy them with cartoons while they waited for the pizza to come.
-Later-
The pizza was demolished upon arrival. The girls had all ready taken pieces out before it had reached the kitchen. They had been sitting quietly on top of the counter. That is, until Eli had looked up at the clock and turned to Una and mumbled
"Ick is on!!" Una looked at the clock and nodded.
"Et's go!" With that, both girls jumped off the counter. Eli landed off and fell forward. But before Ian could even ask her if she was okay, she was up and running. Una ran back and quickly grabbed the last piece of pizza, stuffing her previous piece into her mouth before running off.
Ian and Sara looked at each other, confused, before they went after them. The girls were in the living room fumbling with the remote, getting grease everywhere. They hadn't bothered to sit on the couch, but instead were sitting on the floor directly in front of the TV.
"Hey, half pints, what's with all this?" Eli, whose mouth was full of pizza, tried to explain it to Sara as she flipped through the channels. She finally gulped everything in her mouth down.
"Snick is on! We wanna watch All That and Amanda show!" She told her as she got to NickToons. "Yay, we haven't missed it!"
Ian shook his head at them. "Do all children do this?" He asked Sara. She shrugged. "More or less. Hey, at least they will be giving us less grief." She told him as she sat down on the couch, him following her.
Just then, the show started. And to the horror of both adults, they found out that both girls had a thing for singing off tune. "Ohhhhhhhhhh, All thaaaaaaaaaat! This is All That, this is Allllllllllllllll THAT!" They sang along. When it go to the rapping, they started cheering or booing the actors in the show. Then, the chorus came back up an they were singing again, the windows starting to rattle from all the noise.
Just before Ian thought he would go deaf, the beginning credits ended and the show started, much to his relief. Sara, on the other hand, thought it was adorable and just laughed. She glanced at him. "What's wrong?"
He shook his head. "Nothing. Nothing." He said
The show turned out to be a PG version of Saturday Night Live, with certain segments that must have been a regular event, since the girls would shout things out with the TV. They kept saying 'It's coming soon, it's coming soon!' And when it did come, they were practically bouncing.
"It's time for Ask Ashley!" The TV announced.
"Yay!!" They said as their eyes got big as plates and remained glued to the screen, talking with the character. "Thhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaatttttt's Me!" The whole point of the skit was a teenage girl giving out advice to people who wrote to her show. She would read a letter, and then scream at the person who wrote the letter at the top of her lungs like a PMS-ing woman who couldn't find chocolate.
Ian was not amused by 'Ashley' and was all too relieved when they got to the musical guest. 'That actress, Amanda what ever her last name is, must be the most annoying person I have ever seen. Thank any higher beings that the show is over and that I will not have to watch her again!' He thought to himself, a bit too soon.
"Welcome to the Amanda Show!!!!! Amanda, manda, manda, manda! Amanda, manda, manda, The Amanda Show!"
The poor assassin couldn't keep from groaning. It was loud enough to get the girls attention and made them turn around. "What's wrong?" Eli asked curiously. "Do you have a tummy ache? Cause it sound like you have a tummy ache."
"No, but would you mind watching something else?" He asked her calmly, trying not to pay attention to the annoying screaming thing on the TV screen.
Both girls pouted. "But it's a new episode...." Eli argued, getting close to tears. Una's lip was trembling and it was only a matter of moments before they would get to water works from both girls.
Sara was in no mood for glass shattering crying and looked around, spotting Una's backpack. "Hey, Una, didn't you bring a movie to watch?" She asked her.
"Oh yeah, I brought Mulan with me. Wanna watch that instead? I even brought pop corn." She told Eli as she reached for her back pack.
"Oh, oh, pop corn! Yeah, we can eat it as we watch the movie. Let's pop it now!" Una pulled the pop corn out of her over stuffed back pack and they went to go pop it in the kitchen, when Sara went after then and grabbed them by the back of their shirts to make them stop. "No popping for you two."
"Why not, Auntie Sara?" Una asked, everyone in the room, the other adult included, looking at her in confusion.
She turned to Ian. "Um, Microwave, a machine that melts stuff in the hands of destructive little ones?" He nodded and took it from her.
As he left, the girls pouted. "Hey, why don't you watch a bit more of your show?" The girls looked back at the screen. Una sighed. "Okay." she said half hearted as the went over to the couch to watch TV.
When Ian returned, they had all ready put the movie in. The girls both practically attacked him when he came in with the pop corn. He had them sit down at the fancy coffee table that was all ready ruined from Eli's food binge the Saturday prior. He gave them the bag and told them not to get it everywhere and hoped for the best.
"This is what you give me to work with?
Well, honey, I've seen worse
We're going to turn this sow's ear
Into a silk purse
We'll have you
Washed and dried
Primped and polished till you glow with pride
Trust my recipe for instant bride
You'll bring honor to us all"
The girls sat on opposite sides of the table, trying to get pop corn into each other's mouths. Eli hit Una's forehead. Una smirked and they got themselves into a pop corn war.
"Wait and see
When we're through
Boys will gladly go to war for you
With good fortune and a great hairdo
You'll bring honor to us all
A girl can bring her family
Great honor in one way
By striking a good match
And this could be the day"
The girls were soon forced to stop when they accidently pegged Sara with a handful of pop corn. They were made to pick it all up, grumbling as they had to crawl to get it all.
"Men want girls with good taste
Calm
Obedient
Who work fast-paced
With good breeding
And a tiny waist
You'll bring honor to us all
We all must serve our Emperor
Who guards us from the Huns
A man by bearing arms
A girl by bearing sons.
When we're through you can't fail
Like a lotus blossom soft and palm
How could any fellow say "No sale"
You'll bring honor to us all."
"Hey, what's so important about a matchmaker? Why did she get to choose whether they get married or not?"
"Because that was her job! If she didn't like you, you either didn't get married, or married a dirty, ugly old man who smelled like cabbage. See! That's why they are praying.
"Ancestors
Hear my plea
Help me not to make a fool of me
And to not uproot my fam'ly tree
Keep my father standing tall
Scarier than the undertaker
We are meeting our matchmaker
Destiny
Guard our girls
And our future as it fast unfurls
Please look kindly on these cultured pearls
Each a perfect porcelain doll."
"Ohhh. Will we have to go see a matchmaker one day?" Eli asked, a bit scared.
"Nah, only way way back in ancient times." Una answered.
"Oh. So, Sara did you have to do that?" Eli asked her innocently as Sara started choking on the last of her soda.
Sara stared at the little girl as she wiped her mouth. "No, sweetie, I did not." She said in between clenched teeth. Eli shrugged and turned back to the TV.
"She's a child." Ian reminded her quietly.
"I know, don't worry. I won't kill your baby sat. But still..."
"Do not worry, you look perfect." Sara immediately turned to look at him, but he had all ready directed his attention to the screen.
"Hey, Auntie Sara," Una said suddenly. "Do you feel okay? You're cheeks look all red and pink like the blush stuff mommy puts on."
"Please bring honor to us
Please bring honor to us
Please bring honor to us
Please bring honor to us
Please bring honor to us all."