Previously on The Sakura Versus Ino Story…
"Hey, Earl," Sheo called as he, Hinata and Temari were leaving.
"Yeah, boss?"
"Back to you."
Then they were gone.
Earl Osborne grinned as he finally got his story back in his hands.
"Tatapusin ko na ito…"
To Be Concluded (Soon enough…)
The Sakura Versus Ino Story: What In The Nine Hells Kind of Freakin' Dream Is This???
"Yehey, I have my story back again!": Earl Osborne
shrugged noncommittally: Sheo Darren
Disclaimer: By Clangedorn's Twin axes, Naruto is not my property. Also, all ye who seek to plagiarize my original characters (e.g.: Molotov, Richter Hayes, etc.) will pay for there crimes…painfully…HWRARRRR!
The Ending Chapter: Just wait and See…
(In Earl's bedroom…)
Earl: howls wildly in joy My story is in my hands again! howls wildly again Better sleep for this. Hey, Sheo!
Sheo: Yeah?
Earl: Swat me. Hard. Really hard.
Sheo: You really want that?
Earl: Yeah.
Sheo: considers I feel like I will regret it, but…
Earl: Ye–
(not letting him finish, Sheo smacks Earl very hard on the head with a blunt object)
Earl: still conscious and in pain Uuuts…bery Uuuts. Ouchers…
Sheo: Hmm... Not hard enough. Let me correct myself…
(Fifteen minutes of Earl-bashing later…)
Sheo: This is harder than I thought.
Earl: Don't make me… suffer anymore, Sheo… just kill me…
Sheo: This time: Work!
(hits Earl with a cute little Piko-Piko hammer)
Earl: before fainting Yeah! faints
(In Earl's dream world, now named as Cobold-landia for no reason, Earl and other people are in a room with a map on the board)
Earl: Ok, peepz. Here's our plan...
Richter: smokes cigar
Sarah: Hey, ash-man! No smoking.
Richter: Damn.
Rowan: chuckles as he prepares to smoke his cigarette No one makes me stop smoking.
Yura: from off-screen ROWAN-KUN!
Rowan: groans Oh, shit… hides
(a pink-haired girl arrives and seems to be looking for someone)
Yura: Huh? Rowan-kun! Where are you?
Rowan: from his hiding place I'm not here.
Yura: Oh. Ok, I'll look somewhere else. leaves the place
Reig: What a dumb ditz.
Earl: Hey, stop the chit-chat. I have the plans here!
Rowan: Right…
Richter: Great!
Sarah: Wooohooo. waves flag
Artemis: Damn. Stuck again.
Mercy: Zzzzz...
(Earl explains this…secret mission. It's basically taking over the whole Japan.)
Earl: …Ok, that's the objectives. People, arm yourselves and we'll rock the world. Molotov, retrieve Hime-chan, Ino, Hinata, that Ninetails guy and Temari.
Molotov: Yes sir.
Earl: Molotov, double time.
Molotov: RIGHT AWAY, SIR!
(In the Hospital, Sakura is sitting beside Hinata in Room 183.)
Hinata: Um…Sakura-san?
Sakura: Yes, Hinata-san?
Hinata: I feel…cold. My arms are…shaking. I thought that Japan was conquered by some Paladin.
Sakura: Hinata, that won't happen. The jounins can take them easily.
Molotov enters the room
Molotov: Hime-chan, reporting for duty.
Sakura and Hinata: Hello, Molotov.
Molotov: Your highness, boss has ordered me to retrieve you and Ms. Hyuuga.
Sakura: For what?
Molotov: I can not tell you. The question you're asking is compromising.
Sakura: Huh? Oh, well. I'll come. Do you want to come, Hinata-san?
Hinata: Ok. I'll come with you.
Sakura: Yay.
Molotov: My liege, you must come with me ASAP.
Sakura: Ok. We'll just get Hinata-san the papers to go with us.
Hinata: Looks like… it is starting to happen.
Sakura: Eh? What are you saying, Hinata-san?
Hinata: Nothing.
Molotov: We must proceed.
(Molotov flees ASAP to retrieve the others. At the park…)
Naruto: Ah. The fresh-
(Molotov stomps him on the chest.)
Naruto: ARGH! What was that for?
Molotov: It's for you to get up and get moving.
Naruto: Eh? Why?
Molotov: The commander has said so. We need to go ASAP. Also, help me find Temari.
Naruto: Ok, I'll go. But why do we need to find that creepy sand guy's femme comrade?
Molotov: Do you want Earl to eradicate you? Piece by piece?
Naruto: No….
Molotov: Then, let's go.
(While trying to find where the hell Temari is…)
Molotov: Damn it. Where is she?
Naruto: Why are you asking me? I don't know where she is!
Molotov: Oh whatever. sees Temari Over there!
Naruto: At last! For about 3 hours of running straight!
(After 1 hour of persuading…)
Molotov: Argh! Please! Just come with us!
Temari: No, no and no.
Naruto: Damn it! PLEASE!!!!!!
Temari: Never.
(Molotov does the droopy puppy dog begging eyes no girl can resist)
Temari: curses Damn droopy puppy eyes no girl can resist. I'll go.
Molotov: Yay!
Naruto: Lots to go.
(Molotov returns to HQ.)
Molotov: Sir, I have retrieved all the objectives.
Earl: Good, Molotov. Good. Now, to strike. Soujira-san, assemble all.
Soujira: Yes sir.
(At the assembly quadrangle)
Earl: All men and women of The United Special Defense Force. It is time to cleanse the Land of the Rising Sun from all whoop-asses, dumb-asses, prostitution, and all crime! My men! Stand together and rise to cleanse Japan!
Molotov: Arise! Arise! My fellow USDF officers! The time has come to march and fight! And what does crime deserve?
All USDF Soldiers: Death! Death!
Molotov: And death shall be ours!
(All USDF Soldiers cheer the battlecry)
Sarah: Oh, dear. Here we go.
Reig: I stand ready.
Sarah: Stop that.
Rowan: smokes
Richter: smokes
Artemis: smokes
Mercy: smokes
Sarah: looks at them Crazy.
(Scene cuts to show a very disapproving Sheo Darren)
Sheo: I had nothing to do with writing this stupid chapter. I just edit it. This is even stupider than the Philippine elections.
(Scene returns to Earl who remembers someone)
Earl: Damn! I forgot about Ayane-san!
(Ayane-san= Ayane Isuzu/Ayane Ukiya of Gatekeepers 21)
Molotov: Sir, we need to retrieve Miss Isuzu– err, I mean, we must save Miss Ukiya from danger!
Earl: I'll go. I'm responsible for her.
Molotov: I'll come also, sir.
Earl: You're such a faithful bodyguard.
Molotov: Thank you sir.
Earl: Then, let us flee.
(At Ayane's apartment, for Earl bought her one…)
Ayane: Zzzzz…. sleeping
(Earl and Molotov crashes in. Ayane was surprised– and reacted very reflexively and defensively by summoning her Gate of Gales. That was an "Ouch" for the two.)
Earl: Ow. That hurts. Ayane-san?
Ayane: Onii-san? Daijobu? And why are you here? (Reason: Earl changed her attitude in "A Hound's Flight" that you could find in FictionPress about 1 to 3 months from now. Also, Earl stands as her Big brother and Guardian now a day)
Earl: I'm ok. Ow, that hurts a lot. And also, I'm here to rescue you.
Ayane: From what? Onii-san?
Earl: From destruction. Now, come along. I don't want you dead.
Ayane: Right away. I'll just get my cell phones and laptop.
Earl: Ok, just get it and leave.
(Ayane gets her cell phones and her laptop, and runs off with Earl and Molotov)
(In USDF HQ…)
Ayane: walks in I didn't know that you were the High Commander of USDF?
Earl: I can't tell you. It's because-
(Rowan enters "The Hall")
Rowan: Mr. Osborne, greetings.
Ayane: surprised What? An Invader? I thought I've killed them all off!
Earl: Don't worry. He's no Invader. He is Guerrero De Dios, A.k.a. Rowan Ghreene. He's the all-time famous Soldier/Warrior of God.
Ayane: Oh, him. Last time, a person who looks like him accidentally peeped on me while I'm in the shower.
Earl: RICHTER!
Sarah: Now I know the reason why you "Re-Spawned" last time.
Richter: Whatever.
Ayane: gasps and points at Richter It's him! That perverted bastard!
Earl: You…are sooooooooo dead.
Richter: Ayeep. Vanishes
(While things are trying to be sorted out inside The Hall, Sakura and Ino are looking at the sky outside the HQ.)
Sakura: Ino-san…
Ino: Nani?
Sakura: Whenever I'm with you, I feel something very deep inside.
Ino: What do you mean?
Sakura: That whenever we fight or whenever we are together, I feel something different.
Ino: Eh? I can't understand you. Please clear it out for me.
Sakura: That I like you.
(Unfortunately, the audience freaks out)
Camera Man: Security!
Guard: Right away!
Tommy Vercetti: You're going down!
(Explosion can be seen from the sky)
Ino: Don't worry, Sakura-san.
Sakura: Nani?
Ino: Because, I like you too.
(Riot can be heard from the crowd)
Camera Man: Riot! Riot!
Director: Call the cops!
Guard: Boss! The cops are already dead!
(We can see that Tommy Vercetti of GTA doesn't like cops)
(Scene returns to The Hall)
Ayane: Onii-san, you don't need to do that to Richter.
Earl: It's for your protection, Ayane-san. At least I avenged you also from that bastard named Shun.
Ayane: Onii-san, I don't want that name to be heard.
Earl: Gomenasai, Ayane-san.
Richter: in horror the pain…the horror…Atrash…indi kita...iiwan…
Sarah: Stop that, Richter.
Mercy: Zzzz…
Vibrating Sheep Of Doom: Brrrrrrrr…
Cobolds: Arf! Does Russian kick dance
Ayane: Kawaii…I want one of those.
Earl: grows a big question mark on his head a la Honda's Asimo
(Sakura and Ino enter The Hall with there hands holding each other)
Molotov: I gotta bad feeling about this, sir.
Earl: BY STALIN'S NAME! WHAT IS THIS MOCKERY?! ARE MY EYES DECIEVING?! ARE THEY HOLDING HANDS?!
Ayane: Nanidesuka, Onii-san?
Earl: AVERT THY EYES, AYANE-SAN! AVERT! Covers Ayane's eyes
Ayane: Onii-san, I can't see.
Earl: It is needed! Why? Why have you done this to us? For about 3 months of writing this story, then you do THIS?
Sakura: Gomene, but I like Ino-san.
(Earl faints in horror and pain)
Ayane: Onii-san! Onii-san! Wake up!
Earl: eyes are white
Rowan: What is this? A victim of Sadako?
Sarah: Oi, want me to wipe your face to the wall?
Rowan: Would I approve? Never.
(Then a Cobold drops in for the last time)
Cobold: Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! (Translation: "Cobold Warfare!". It's because every "Arf!" translates to one syllable.)
Earl: My most powerful weapons have been unleashed. Charge my minions! Cleanse this land!
Cobold: ARF! (Translation: Charge!)
Sarah: Ayane, Sakura, Ino, Richter, duck.
Rowan: Phases. Weird, eh?
Molotov: digs a "dog-hole"
Soujira: Eeep! hides
(A sea of Ragnarok Online Cobolds swarm Japan like ants swarming a piece of hotdog on the ground. A very unpleasant seen, to be described. After the swarm ended, Ghosts from Ghost Recon came in to check the area. The platoon leader, Lieutenant Jacobs, saw a very familiar person under the rubbles.)
Ghost Jacobs: Ramirez, check that out.
Ghost Ramirez: Why me?
Ghost Jacobs: 'Coz the platoon leader says so.
Ghost Ramirez: Whatever.
(Ramirez checks out the rubbles. In his surprise, Ramirez was stunned. Why? Because Ramirez saw Neji Hyuuga)
Ghost Ramirez: What?! Still alive?! Fires at Neji with M-S Socom SD
Ghost D'agostino: Damn. He's tough. Sees Ramirez flying to the sky
Ghost Jacobs: in neutral tone Open fire.
(The platoon fired at Neji. It was horrible seen. Neji's body was nearly shredded by the bullets of .70 Caliber High-powered M-22 Spearheads and a .60 Caliber Squad-Automatic M-S Socom SD. Note: M-22 Spearhead is an invented weapon)
Ghost Jacobs: Damn, you're right. He is tough.
Ghost Stone: But now, he's half-dead. Damn, I'll modify this M-22. It's too shaky.
Ghost Jacobs: Of course, it's a .70 Caliber High-powered assault rifle and you fired it in full-burst mode. How can't it be shaky?
Ghost Stone: Whatever, LT.
Ghost Jacobs: contacts Earl Stone Wall, this is Wraith Platoon. Area is nearly cleansed. We just saw Neji. But now, he's nearly shredded. Thanks to our M-22 and the lone M-S Socom SD.
Earl: Damn, I thought Sheo flayed him alive. Ends conversation Ayane-san, you can come out now.
Ayane: Onii-san, Daijobu?
Earl: I'm alright, Ayane-san. I'm alright. Where's hime-chan?
Ayane: Right there, Onii-san.
Earl: Arigatou, Ayane-san. Arigatou. calls Sakura Hey, hime-chan. Coast is clear.
Sakura: I thought Ino-san and I were cooked.
Earl: So this story of mine ends like this: Sakura and…ehem…is the…pair? And Ayane-san is my "Little Sister", another character named Soujira is in the force and my supreme pets have won. I am really invincible.
Ayane: Onii-san, why are you talking to yourself?
Earl: It's nothing, Ayane-san. It's nothing.
(Earl wakes up from sleep)
Earl: A good story has ended. Ah, at last. Ayane-san, Ohayou.
Ayane: Ohayou, Onii-san.
Earl: Life is so good.
Ang katapusan…
Earl's Creepy Thoughts:
Ah, at last. My very first story has ended. I got more months to do A Hound's Tale. See you soon! May Lone Wolf SIX Live Forever! I am Invincible! Ayane Isuzu and Sakura Haruno are irresistibly cute!
Sheo Darren's last comments:
To quote Ruri Hoshino from Nadesico: "Baka desu."