Warnings: Contains sadistic and cold Harry, a confused and useless Severus, and a Lord Voldemort that rules over Great Britain.

Disclaimer: I own none of this except whatever original stuff I can imbue into it.

Beta'd by Blackumbrage

Stockholm Syndrome: A phenomenon in which a hostage begins to identify with and grow sympathetic to his or her captor.

THE STOCKHOLM SYNDROME
by Nenya Entwhistle

Chapter 4
Memories are Terrible

"I have not answered all your questions," Potter commented casually when he stepped into Severus's private laboratory.  It was a lavished laboratory, far more well stocked with rare and illegal ingredients than Severus ever would have been able to keep in plain sight in his Hogwarts dungeons.  If only he didn't know he was a pet, Severus would have been quite content with his existence.  "Do you want me to?" 

Did he want Harry to?  Yes.  No.  Maybe.  Perhaps not.  He didn't have a straight answer.  Yes, of course he was still curious, but hadn't Harry already warned him that curiosity would kill him?  Yes, Harry had and he quite liked his life where it was.  Perhaps, it wasn't the best lifestyle he imagined for himself, but he had his potions and he had a Master that left him alone and that on occasion he didn't mind his company. 

"If you wish to tell me more, I would be inclined to listen," Severus phrased his answer carefully.  He didn't want to rile Harry.  That would be a very bad thing to do.  No, he didn't want to make Harry mad at all.  If anything, it was best to make Harry indifferent.  For when he was apathetic, he let Severus do whatever Severus wished. 

Potter reached out with his hand to nudge Severus's chin upward so that Severus had to stare into his master's green like emerald eyes.  "You always have to be in control, don't you Snape?" Potter murmured.  "Always the dominant aren't you?" 

Severus shuddered inwardly, but did not show it as he stared at Harry point blank.  While Harry had no qualms about punishing him when he did something wrong, something disrespectful to someone that was being kind to him--- Harry had never made it a point of lording over him when it was unnecessary.  There were cases when it was necessary to act like a proper Master, especially when Voldemort visited the Potter residence or when Harry took him to the Riddle Mansion. 

"Consider it a fault from habit," Severus whispered softly, his eyes not shifting from where they bore down deeply into Harry's.  Even though Harry had grown quite a bit in his maturity, he as a man was still not quite Severus's regal height though he was by no means short.  "I do apologize." 

"Apologize to me?  Snape?" Potter remarked.  "Now, there is no need.  You were merely being yourself and if I wanted you to be like anyone else, I would have beaten you into submission long ago.  I did somewhat break you though, didn't I?"  Severus thought it could be his imagination that he heard regret in Harry's voice.  "But I am far more broken than you will ever be, but you know there is hope, Snape.  Even when you are as broken as what I was, you can be healed somewhat and it doesn't have to be through tenderness." 

"Would tenderness have made it better?" Severus asked before he could stop himself. 

Potter's hand dropped from his chin so fast that to Severus it felt like he was diseased.  He turned his back toward Severus and looked like he was going to walk out but paused at the doorway and rested his hand against the frame.  "I wouldn't know." 

And it was a pity that he didn't. 

-

"Practice time," Potter stated, the doors slamming open as he swept into the room looking every bit of the wizard that made other wizards quake with fear.  It was something that made Severus wonder if Harry had learned it from him.  There was a confidence in his walk that reminded Severus of his own commanding entrance.  And he knew quite well how important a strong entrance was. 

Severus tried to prepare his mind, but the minor shield he'd managed to erect when Potter shouted, "Legilimens!" had only the momentary effect of delaying Potter's intrusion.  It hardly took anytime before Harry was delving into his innermost thoughts like he was at a flea market looking for a hidden treasure.  Severus felt horribly violated, but there was nothing he could do but try to fight back.  Now he realized how it felt for Harry to have been placed under similar circumstances in his 5th year when Severus had been charged with the task of teaching Harry occlumency. 

There were some memories he'd rather not live through again, but Harry forced him too.  Like when his father was alternately torturing his mother with a hard, heavy stick or casting Cruciatus on her.  What was worse was when his father would hold his mother under the Imperius and command her to abuse him.  It hurt because not only did it cause him pain, but he also knew it hurt his mother more to hurt him than for her to take the pain for herself.  That was the worse thing his father could have ever done to his mother, and the fact he did it with such sadistic glee… Severus had only been too glad to kill his father at the bequest of Voldemort. 

Of course, there were other memories like the terrible taunts from the stupid Gryffindors.  He hated Sirius and James with a passion that almost matched how much he detested his father.  Not quite, because what Sirius and James did never involved hurting his mother, if they had--- they would have earned his eternal enmity.  As it was, he found it horribly hard to ever forgive them, especially Sirius for almost killing him by sending him into the Shrieking Shack. 

Not only did he have painful memories, but he also had memories of things that he regretted like joining Voldemort and then trying to erase that sin by doing Dumbledore's bidding.  Both powerful wizards had trapped him into a complicated web where he was their shared pawn in a strategic game of two master chess players.  If he had known that Dumbledore was only slightly less manipulative, a tad bit of a better man--- he would have just run as far away from the UK as he could.  But he hadn't known, and he thought Dumbledore would be his salvation. 

In a way, he had been saved though--- a bit, more than he would have been if he had stayed with Voldemort, at least.  Did Harry not realize that?  That Voldemort was the epitome of all that was evil and that despite Dumbledore's insane tactics and his habit for using people as viciously as Voldemort, Dumbledore wasn't Voldemort?  It had taken Severus a while to realize that Dumbledore was the counterpart of Voldemort in everyway that was good and that was bad.  Dumbledore was not a good man because Voldemort was not a good man.  Dumbledore had to be the same and the opposing force of Voldemort if… he even hoped to fight the Dark Lord. 

"You know," Potter commented casually, "your childhood was in some ways worse and better than mine.  Your father was far more vicious than Uncle Vernon ever was to me, but you had someone that loved you and that you knew loved you.  I had no one." 

-

When Potter stepped in one afternoon at the regular time of the dreadful memory reliving sessions, Severus noticed a change in the way Harry was carrying himself.  He didn't seem quite so removed, so stoic?  It could just be his imagination.  Severus found it hard to separate the Harry that he had grown to talk about in his head as a friend and the Potter that was his removed Master.  Harry his friend?  How ridiculous.  The bane of his existence, more likely. 

"Today there will be a change in plans," Potter remarked.  "I won't be penetrating your mind, you will be penetrating mine." 

Did Harry realize his diction had sexual overtones?  Severus stared at Harry with veiled eyes and saw the usual detached expression on his Master's face.  Perhaps not.  It would be like the Harry that he knew to be oblivious, and that thought cheered him up since that meant maybe Harry wasn't as removed from the old Harry as Potter would like to claim.  And what really comforted him was that his mind wasn't going to be invaded. 

"You don't have to be nice, Snape," Potter said.  "If anything, be as nasty as you want." 

His nastiest now, Severus reflected, would only be a shadow of what it had been.  It was hard to hate someone that had been nothing but courteous and fairly kind.  But even if he couldn't be despicable, he did have this urgency to delve into Harry's mind and this was the perfect opportunity.  Who knew when he would get a chance like this again?  Probably never.  He was going to make the best of this… attempt. 

"Legilimens!" Severus cried out, not waiting for his Master to give him the signal that he was ready or not.  He knew that if he waited, from his attempted intrusions before (for which he had been severely punished for) that he had no chance if Harry was even halfway guarded.  His only chance was to catch Harry by surprise. 

It felt like he'd physically slammed into a brick wall, but he pushed onward and he almost cried out with relief when he felt his push gaining momentum enough to inch inward into Harry's mind.  When he finally broke through, he felt he'd fallen down an abyss and he was stunned by all that he saw.  There was Harry kneeling over Cedric Diggory's dead body, Harry watching Sirius fall through the veil, Harry staring into the mirror where he saw Sirius as his doppelganger living the perfect Golden Boy existence… and there was more, there was so much more and the doors to Harry's mind shut so violently that Severus felt his own body slam against the wall. 

"I underestimated you," Potter stated calmly, unshaken while it was all Severus could do not to tremble.  Did Harry not feel anything?  "Very well done, Snape.  If you can break through, that means I have a lot to work on my natural shields when I'm not expecting an attack.  When you're reading, I want you to try again." 

Severus took a deep breath.  It wasn't like his mind had been invaded.  If anything, he should feel nothing.  It was only Harry bloody Potter, the son of the wretched James Potter.  He should feel no sympathy for Harry, no empathy whatsoever… especially now that Harry was the wizard that kept him captive.  But he couldn't deny that he did feel something, and he hated it--- he fucking hated it. 

"Too weak to try again?" Potter taunted mildly.  "Wasn't Severus Snape suppose to be Albus Dumbledore's most brilliant student?" 

Severus gritted his teeth and narrowed his eyes.  He was the one that had taught the boy the beginning steps!  "Legilimens!" 

This time it felt like a steel wall, impenetrable.  Severus groaned as he felt his physical self being battered as hard as his mental self was.  Painful was an understatement.  If he had been wiser, he should not have allowed himself to be goaded by Harry.  Even though he had felt the additional power behind his push, it hadn't been enough against a fully prepared Harry.  He should have waited and concentrated his thrust better. 

"Is that all you have, Snape?" 

Severus narrowed his eyes.  Just who did Harry think he was speaking to?  He was one of the most talented legilimens alive.  And he wasn't going to fall into the trap this time.  He held his wand up, but he didn't say the spell that would direct his consciousness into Harry's.  Not yet.  Wait, he told himself, wait for the right moment.  Wait for when Harry would least suspect it, because he did believe that he might be better at sifting through Harry's thoughts than Harry was at running through his.  He had experience on his side even if Harry had the raw power. 

"Legilimens!"

Author's Note: I don't think this one was as good as Chapter 3, but what did you think?  So do you think Severus will get into Harry's mind and if he does… what do you think he'll see? 

Thanks (you guys keep me writing!):
@_@emily: You never know.
Flora: TY.
Samson: I'm glad it's getting better.
Aspid: Harry's a bit twisted at the end of Chapter 3, calling Hermione his lover b/c he raped her.  Ron will show up… eventually.
lillinfields: I wouldn't say Severus's life is better, but it is no worse than before. 
Kateri1: Isn't it best to write LOADS of stuff in LITTLE time?

TBC