THE MARAUDERS #4 (*)Snaperella(*)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a lazy afternoon, you know the kind, when it's a beautiful day out and the sun is shining and there are people outside that you don't know and they are happily running around playing with their friends, and you are inside. doing homework.
"Oh this sucks!" James said and threw his quill at the wall, which didn't make it far since it was a quill and quill's float.
"Well if you didn't throw that ink bottle at Lucius' head, maybe you wouldn't have gotten fifteen extra inches of homework." Remus replied, from behind the book he was reading, titled: Fantastic Beasts and How They Kill You.
"Well if he didn't flip his hair in my face, I wouldn't have thrown it." James muttered and kicked the table leg.
"Cheer up, James!" Sirius said, patting him on the back. "Why don't you just copy the definitions out of a textbook and we can all get out of this hell hole!"
James glared, "Why didn't I think of that?" He rolled his eyes, "The answers aren't in the textbook."
"Well how are you supposed to get your work done if the answers aren't in the textbook?" Sirius said, flipping through the said book.
"Because the teacher hates me and favors Malfoy." James groaned and whacked his head into the table.
"So what are you supposed to do?" Sirius asked, placing the book back down on the table.
"Apparently, I'm supposed to either go to the library and research the fifty ways to make a potion that will turn you into a toad, or ask somebody."
"Oh well that doesn't sound hard at all." Remus said, still reading his book. He raised his eyebrows, apparently reading something very interesting and read at a faster and more intensifying state.
"Well it is when you've searched the whole Goddamned library and all the books have the same definition." James muttered, his head still in his hands.
"Well ask the Potions' Master." Sirius suggested.
"Oh great!" James said sarcastically. "Because getting my head chewed off more than five times today is just my cup of pumpkin ale."
Sirius frowned, "Alright sorry, ease up on the sarcasm would ya? It's not you."
"Why don't you ask a student?" Remus suggested.
"Like who?" James asked, as far as he knew, no one in their year was so advanced.
"Snape." Remus said and went back to his book.
James eyeballs widened. "Snape?" He repeated appalled.
"Well why not?" Remus asked, "I know you don't like him, but he did get a 173% on the last exam."
"You kidding?" Sirius said, "Wow James, you should ask him."
"You think he'd help me?" James answered.
~~~
Well apparently not. Snape found the whole 'Potter's in trouble and needs my help' thing, extremely amusing and refused to help in any manner.
"What an ungrateful git! I was the one who gave him all the answers to the Transfiguration Exam last Thursday!" James seethed, clenching his fists and looking livid.
"They were the wrong answers, James," Remus reminded him. "And he got detention because you told the teacher he was cheating."
James smiled for a moment at the memory. "Still!" James returned to peeved off mode.
Then suddenly, he grinned.
~~~
James had resorted to making up all the answers for '50 different ways to make a potion that will turn you into a toad'. Only about three of the answers were correct. [For James Potter's 50-potion Turn-Toad essay go to: ] But his mind was preoccupied by the intense urge to get Snape, and get him gooood.
"What about this one?" Sirius asked, holding a book up so that James could see.
"Nah, too bland." James said and they continued looking.
Peter sat in silence at one of the tables, he really should have gone with Remus to dinner, but he didn't want to be left out of anything.
"Look at this one!" James said and showed it to Sirius.
Sirius raised an eyebrow and James said, "Right, we can do better."
For two more hours it seemed that James and Sirius flipped through book after book, looking for the perfect one.
Then at 8:24 pm16 seconds. they found it.
"James, come look at this one!" Sirius exclaimed ripping the magazine out of Peter's hand.
"What?" James asked and poked his head over Sirius' shoulder.
James' eyes widened. "Oohhh."
"What do you figure?" Sirius asked, holding the book at an angle.
"I think with the right readjustments."
".and a little more creativity."
"Yes, yes. this is the one."
~~~
They arrived back at the common room, very pleased with themselves. Their plan was slowly starting to develop. Snape would be sorry that he ever messed with James G. Potter!
~~~
"Come on Remus, please!?" Sirius whined.
"Think of all the things we've done for you!" James added.
Remus crossed his arms, "I can't think of any."
"How about when we got you that solo in choir last month!" Sirius said.
Remus frowned, "We got detention for two whole weeks and had to clean the whole second floor walls with toothbrushes!"
James panicked, "We fixed all the patches in your robes last week!"
"They were all purple by the time you two were finished!"
"We beat Snape up when he was bothering you that time!" Sirius chimed.
"He was asking me about something in homework and you two attacked him for no reason!"
Sirius and James ginned at each other for a moment and then returned to be serious. "We'll do whatever you want for a week! Promise!" Sirius said.
"Yeah-we'll.wait, NO!" James said, he'd been tricked into those kind of promises before. they never ended well.
Remus seemed to consider this.
"Sirius, a word PLEASE." James said and grabbed his best friend by the collar of his shirt and hauled him a little ways from their friend who was no doubt thinking of all the things he could make them do.
"We can't promise that!" James hissed.
Sirius frowned, "Why not? What's he going to make us do? Eat frogs?"
"Well why not!?"
"Because this is Remus Lupin we're talking about, no way he'd do something like that!"
James thought about this, maybe they did get the better half of it.
"Well-"
"Come on, James, the worst that'll happen is he'll make us carry all his books or something."
"Well. okay. fine."
The mischievous duo make their way back over to their friend who had been considering their offer.
"Well?" James prompted.
Remus smiled, "Well what?"
"If you tell us the spell, we'll do whatever you say for a week." James said and looked over at Sirius who nodded his agreement.
Remus' smile widened. "Ok, you've got a deal."
Sirius and James beamed.
"The spell is-"
~~~
Thursday, November 25th 6:43 pm. The Great Hall.
"Are you ready?" Sirius stage whispered to James. James nodded and they waited.
6:46 pm.
The doors of the great hall opened. and the greasy haired prat came in, his head down and looking as if he was trying to blend into the wall. oh he'd do anything BUT THAT in a mere four seconds.
"CINDAREPSTILLIA!" James and Sirius hollered and a pink cloud emitted from Snape's head.
When the smoke cleared he was in a huge, fluffy pink wedding gown, bridal veil in all! Confetti was sprinkling itself around Snape and huge bows were in his hair. Pink rosettes were spread across the dress, making it not only 'loud' but 'hideous'.
The whole hall was a sea of seemingly endless laughter and James snapped a picture.
Snape tried to move but was rooted to the floor, by a clever charm courtesy of Sirius Black.
The teachers were unsure of what to do, it wasn't as if the boy was in any REAL danger, of course they weren't considering the poor boy's sanity and his ever-growing detestation of James Potter.
Even enough was enough, Severus Snape was restored to his ordinary clothes and mortified he'd run off back to his common room.
Sirius and James were both given a week's detentions, but in their eyes, it was all worth it.
~~~
In class the next day, James received a failing mark for his essay but on the bright side, James had a huge fluffy dress in mind, in case he might wanna cheer himself up. oh let's say. on Lucius.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a lazy afternoon, you know the kind, when it's a beautiful day out and the sun is shining and there are people outside that you don't know and they are happily running around playing with their friends, and you are inside. doing homework.
"Oh this sucks!" James said and threw his quill at the wall, which didn't make it far since it was a quill and quill's float.
"Well if you didn't throw that ink bottle at Lucius' head, maybe you wouldn't have gotten fifteen extra inches of homework." Remus replied, from behind the book he was reading, titled: Fantastic Beasts and How They Kill You.
"Well if he didn't flip his hair in my face, I wouldn't have thrown it." James muttered and kicked the table leg.
"Cheer up, James!" Sirius said, patting him on the back. "Why don't you just copy the definitions out of a textbook and we can all get out of this hell hole!"
James glared, "Why didn't I think of that?" He rolled his eyes, "The answers aren't in the textbook."
"Well how are you supposed to get your work done if the answers aren't in the textbook?" Sirius said, flipping through the said book.
"Because the teacher hates me and favors Malfoy." James groaned and whacked his head into the table.
"So what are you supposed to do?" Sirius asked, placing the book back down on the table.
"Apparently, I'm supposed to either go to the library and research the fifty ways to make a potion that will turn you into a toad, or ask somebody."
"Oh well that doesn't sound hard at all." Remus said, still reading his book. He raised his eyebrows, apparently reading something very interesting and read at a faster and more intensifying state.
"Well it is when you've searched the whole Goddamned library and all the books have the same definition." James muttered, his head still in his hands.
"Well ask the Potions' Master." Sirius suggested.
"Oh great!" James said sarcastically. "Because getting my head chewed off more than five times today is just my cup of pumpkin ale."
Sirius frowned, "Alright sorry, ease up on the sarcasm would ya? It's not you."
"Why don't you ask a student?" Remus suggested.
"Like who?" James asked, as far as he knew, no one in their year was so advanced.
"Snape." Remus said and went back to his book.
James eyeballs widened. "Snape?" He repeated appalled.
"Well why not?" Remus asked, "I know you don't like him, but he did get a 173% on the last exam."
"You kidding?" Sirius said, "Wow James, you should ask him."
"You think he'd help me?" James answered.
~~~
Well apparently not. Snape found the whole 'Potter's in trouble and needs my help' thing, extremely amusing and refused to help in any manner.
"What an ungrateful git! I was the one who gave him all the answers to the Transfiguration Exam last Thursday!" James seethed, clenching his fists and looking livid.
"They were the wrong answers, James," Remus reminded him. "And he got detention because you told the teacher he was cheating."
James smiled for a moment at the memory. "Still!" James returned to peeved off mode.
Then suddenly, he grinned.
~~~
James had resorted to making up all the answers for '50 different ways to make a potion that will turn you into a toad'. Only about three of the answers were correct. [For James Potter's 50-potion Turn-Toad essay go to: ] But his mind was preoccupied by the intense urge to get Snape, and get him gooood.
"What about this one?" Sirius asked, holding a book up so that James could see.
"Nah, too bland." James said and they continued looking.
Peter sat in silence at one of the tables, he really should have gone with Remus to dinner, but he didn't want to be left out of anything.
"Look at this one!" James said and showed it to Sirius.
Sirius raised an eyebrow and James said, "Right, we can do better."
For two more hours it seemed that James and Sirius flipped through book after book, looking for the perfect one.
Then at 8:24 pm16 seconds. they found it.
"James, come look at this one!" Sirius exclaimed ripping the magazine out of Peter's hand.
"What?" James asked and poked his head over Sirius' shoulder.
James' eyes widened. "Oohhh."
"What do you figure?" Sirius asked, holding the book at an angle.
"I think with the right readjustments."
".and a little more creativity."
"Yes, yes. this is the one."
~~~
They arrived back at the common room, very pleased with themselves. Their plan was slowly starting to develop. Snape would be sorry that he ever messed with James G. Potter!
~~~
"Come on Remus, please!?" Sirius whined.
"Think of all the things we've done for you!" James added.
Remus crossed his arms, "I can't think of any."
"How about when we got you that solo in choir last month!" Sirius said.
Remus frowned, "We got detention for two whole weeks and had to clean the whole second floor walls with toothbrushes!"
James panicked, "We fixed all the patches in your robes last week!"
"They were all purple by the time you two were finished!"
"We beat Snape up when he was bothering you that time!" Sirius chimed.
"He was asking me about something in homework and you two attacked him for no reason!"
Sirius and James ginned at each other for a moment and then returned to be serious. "We'll do whatever you want for a week! Promise!" Sirius said.
"Yeah-we'll.wait, NO!" James said, he'd been tricked into those kind of promises before. they never ended well.
Remus seemed to consider this.
"Sirius, a word PLEASE." James said and grabbed his best friend by the collar of his shirt and hauled him a little ways from their friend who was no doubt thinking of all the things he could make them do.
"We can't promise that!" James hissed.
Sirius frowned, "Why not? What's he going to make us do? Eat frogs?"
"Well why not!?"
"Because this is Remus Lupin we're talking about, no way he'd do something like that!"
James thought about this, maybe they did get the better half of it.
"Well-"
"Come on, James, the worst that'll happen is he'll make us carry all his books or something."
"Well. okay. fine."
The mischievous duo make their way back over to their friend who had been considering their offer.
"Well?" James prompted.
Remus smiled, "Well what?"
"If you tell us the spell, we'll do whatever you say for a week." James said and looked over at Sirius who nodded his agreement.
Remus' smile widened. "Ok, you've got a deal."
Sirius and James beamed.
"The spell is-"
~~~
Thursday, November 25th 6:43 pm. The Great Hall.
"Are you ready?" Sirius stage whispered to James. James nodded and they waited.
6:46 pm.
The doors of the great hall opened. and the greasy haired prat came in, his head down and looking as if he was trying to blend into the wall. oh he'd do anything BUT THAT in a mere four seconds.
"CINDAREPSTILLIA!" James and Sirius hollered and a pink cloud emitted from Snape's head.
When the smoke cleared he was in a huge, fluffy pink wedding gown, bridal veil in all! Confetti was sprinkling itself around Snape and huge bows were in his hair. Pink rosettes were spread across the dress, making it not only 'loud' but 'hideous'.
The whole hall was a sea of seemingly endless laughter and James snapped a picture.
Snape tried to move but was rooted to the floor, by a clever charm courtesy of Sirius Black.
The teachers were unsure of what to do, it wasn't as if the boy was in any REAL danger, of course they weren't considering the poor boy's sanity and his ever-growing detestation of James Potter.
Even enough was enough, Severus Snape was restored to his ordinary clothes and mortified he'd run off back to his common room.
Sirius and James were both given a week's detentions, but in their eyes, it was all worth it.
~~~
In class the next day, James received a failing mark for his essay but on the bright side, James had a huge fluffy dress in mind, in case he might wanna cheer himself up. oh let's say. on Lucius.