A/N: I didn't intend for this chapter to be so long. So Sorry if it takes you a while to read it.

Chapter 5

Buffy stood in the graveyard in front of Spike's crypt. She stared at it for a moment and something clicked in her mind.

"I've been here before," Buffy said softly.

She opened the door and saw the cavern she had seen when she was knocked unconscious five years ago. She stared at the flaming hands.

"Mommy," Buffy called. Joyce appeared in front of her. Her face seemed overwhelmed with joy.

"You have been doing well, Buffy," Joyce said in encouraging voice. Buffy shook her head.

"No, I let Spike die," Buffy said almost breaking into tears. "You remember him going up into flames well it happened when the building exploded. Spike died and now I'm left to raise Amber alone. It was just like I feared when he got his chip out. I really wish she could have some sort of memory of him."

"Buffy, she will always remember him," Joyce said assuring. "He is in her dreams. She just doesn't know who he is. She will soon find out."

"Huh?" Buffy asked.

"You'll figure it out later."

"Mom."

"Yes?"

"Do you visit her in her dreams?"

"Of course I do, Buffy. I keep her safe from any horrible nightmares that come close to my grandchild. I might be dead, Buffy. I still can be protective mother even from the grave."

 Buffy smiled and wrapped her arms around her.

"I just hope I can be as good a mother for Amber like you were for me."

Joyce looked at her daughter.

"Oh Buffy." Joyce pulled her daughter into an embrace while she cried. Buffy pulled back and wiped her face.

"Is he with me, Mom?"

"He is. You just don't know it."

Buffy smiled.

"Now, go. I don't want to keep my grandchild waiting." Smiled Joyce

"I'm sorry I failed to save Spike. I know you really liked him."

"You didn't fail, Buffy. You did the best you could." Her mom replied.

Joyce disappeared and Buffy was standing in the middle of the crypt.

"Hello, Love." A very familiar voice said behind her. Her eyes widened and she turned around.

"OH My God! Spike!" Buffy cried.

She ran straight into her arms. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close.

"I've missed you, Spike," Buffy wept. He kissed her neck.

"I've missed you too, love."

"Spike, please tell me I can finally have you back in my life."

"Now, pet, you have to go on living for me."

Buffy stared at him stunned. She swallowed the lump in her throat.

"But Spike…"

"Now, go feed my bit. I think she's hungry." Buffy's eyes full of tears.

"I…I can't"

"No cants. I won't allow it. I love you and I always will. Now go." Every thing went black.

Buffy sat up in bed. Her eyes were full of tears. She looked over, saw the empty spot in bed, and realized it wasn't just a dream. Spike really was gone.


Her tears fell and covered her face. She silently wept for her beloved husband. He had been taken away from her because of a cruel and twisted man. Amber deserved to have her father. She would have if it hadn't been for Riley.

Angel walked into the room and saw Buffy crying. He walked slowly over to the bed and sat on the edge. He hated these moments. She was still weak.

Buffy looked up at Angel as he touched her arm. She sat up and wrapped her arms around him. She cried on his shoulder. Telling him all about Spike and that he had visited her in a dream.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

William sat up in his bed. He had just made an appearance in Buffy's dream. Except he had looked strangely different.  He was in an all black outfit and a long leather coat. His hair was bleached blonde.

"Hmm, maybe that's a look I should go for," William said to his self before bursting out laughing.

He threw his covers off, and grabbed his sketchbook and headed out to the porch. He sat down at the patio table and started sketching the face he saw in his dream.

"Let's hope Angel could help me with some blanks," William whispered to himself and he began to go into detail.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"You remember when you said Spike would never leave my side no matter what happened?" Buffy asked as she wiped her face.

"I do," Angel answered.

"You lied," Buffy said stiffly. Angel cracked a smile.

"Buffy, he would still be by your side if it wasn't for that bastard Riley," Angel agued.

"Damn him," Buffy said harshly under her breath. "I really hope he is rotting in Hell right now."

"BUFFY!" Angel said seriously. Buffy shrugged and leaned against the headboard.

"Hey, I can have a little hatred for him," Buffy said grumpily. Angel looked at her with wide eyes. She was channeling her younger self.

"Buffy, come on," Angel said getting up from the bed. "William said he was coming by today. I'm sure you want to see him."

Buffy's eyes narrowed on him. She threw the small pillow at him.

"You're evil," Buffy said.

Angel rolled his eyes. He turned and left the room.

Buffy smiled and got out of bed. She walked into the bathroom. She turned on the faucet. She stared at the water as she remembered how she had felt when she and Spike created the flame of eternal love. She couldn't forget his face. He looked so surprised and happy. They made a connection. A connection she never felt with anyone.

"I can never replace him," Buffy said as she gazed to the framed picture of him holding Amber. "He's just irreplaceable. No one can be as pig headed, annoying, and loveable as Spike could be."

"You don't have to tell me twice," William said standing in the door way smiling. He was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed.

"Jeez, sneak up much?" Buffy asked holding her chest. William gave a shy grin and shrugged.

"Don't really know," William answered.

"Wow, someone is in a cheery mood this morning," Buffy said impressed. "What did you do? Finally find a way to relieve that sexual tension?" Buffy's eyes widened and she put her hand over her mouth.

William stood there agape before breaking into a fit of laughter. He shook his head. Finally catching his breath.

"Well, Summers, you truly are a breath of fresh air," William said standing up straight. Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Why are you here so early, any way?" Buffy asked.

"I was wondering if you and Amber were up for going out for breakfast," William answered.

"I guess that couldn't hurt," Buffy said with a shrug. "I swear if you keep taking us places. Amber will become attached to you."

"Nah. Mostly likely she will get sick of me," William suggested.

"Oh, then you need to come around more often."

"Just hurry up." William turned and headed back downstairs.

He walked into the living room and sat on the couch. Angel walked in a few seconds later holding his sketched he did earlier.

"This is incredible, William," Angel said sitting down in front of him. William nodded.

"I have to agree with you on that," William said rubbing his head. "I had a memory flash back yesterday."

"Wow. Was it anything specific?" Angel asked leaning forward. William shook his head.

"I'm just glad I had one in the first place.  At least, I know a bit of my past. It might not have been much but it was a start."

"The start is what exactly?"

William stared at him for a second and took a deep breath.  He figured he might as well tell him.

"My name is Spike."

Angel almost fell off his chair. He stared wide-eyed at him. He took a few deep breaths.

"I had my theories. I just didn't know it was true. Oh Dawn and Buffy will be so happy to have you back."

"NO!" William said standing up. "I don't want anyone to know yet. I have a feeling as if I can trust you with this. I want to get my full memory back before the family knows."

"All right, William. Your secret is safe with me. As long as you promise you will try to spend more time with Amber."

"Of course. She's my kid, Angel." Angel raised an eyebrow at him.

"The memory I had was when Buffy was worried about being pregnant. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out. Put two and two together and you got Amber."

Buffy walked down the stared wearing a red sundress. Amber was in her arms wearing a little jean and a dress shirt. Both of them had their hair down.

"They're such a beautiful sight aren't they, Peaches?" William whispered to Angel.

Angel looked over at William stunned. He hid his shock. Only Spike called him Peaches.  This was going to be fun trying to cover up William's secret.

"You look unbelievable, Buffy," William, said speechless.

Buffy blushed. Amber tugged on William's shirt.

"What about me?"  Amber asked.  William looked down at her and smiled.

"You look pretty too," William answered. He put a pink flower in her hair. She smiled and motioned him to pick her up. He picked her up and smiled at her.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy and William sat on the park bench as the watched Amber go off and play on the swings. They decided to let Amber run off all of her sugar from her pancakes.

"You seem a little distant," William said looking at Buffy.

Buffy turned and looked at him.

"Spike visited me in a dream last night," Buffy said softly. "It made me apprehend that I miss him more then I ever realized. I heard his voice again and my whole life went back to five years ago. I saw him and I thought I was still a newly wed with a six-week-old child. I woke up and I was a widow with a five year old daughter to take care of."

"There's something else," William said staring at her face.

Her blonde locks were shining against the sunlight. Sun gave her a heavenly glow. She was his dream goddess.

"I realized how lonely I felt," Buffy said sadly. "I haven't been with a man in five years. I miss the cuddles on the couch. I miss the little smoochys. I miss the feel of…"

Buffy stopped remembering what it was like to have Spike touch her naked body. His muscles were so tight. It made her remember how she fell in love with him. The lust and the passion they had.

"You miss the feel of passion," William whispered finishing her sentence. Buffy nodded and rubbed hands together.

"I thought you and Angel were…"

"NO!" Buffy answered quickly surprised. "We never could be like that not for years. He's my shoulder to cry on. He's a friend. He was my first love and I always had him for support when Spike died. He took care of Amber while I grieved. It was nice to grieve in peace and let my heart heal enough for me to take care of my daughter."

"I some how don't think you heart is healed at all," William said bluntly.

Buffy stared at him surprised then turned her attention back to Amber.

"You're right," Buffy said. "My heart hasn't healed. I don't think it will ever heal. The prophecy that brought us together said when we got married; we would be bound together forever. When one of us dies, we both were supposed to die. One of us wasn't supposed to be left behind to feel the lost. We were going to be together all eternity."

"What if he's still alive?" William asked. Buffy looked over at him then back at Amber again.

"If he is…" Buffy went quiet.

She tried to think what it would be like to have him back. To have his kisses and have him be totally devoted to her again. 

"I would just want to know that he is all right and he was loved by someone who loved him as much as I do," Buffy said barely over a whisper.

"Hey," William said soothingly.

He took her into his arms and let her cry on his shoulder.

"Shh. I'm sure if he was alive he would do everything he could to come back to you and Amber."

"You think so?" Buffy asked without even lifting her head.

"I am doubly sure," William whispered.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Angel sat on the couch in the living room staring at photo of Spike. He stared at it amazed. The guy was actually alive.  He had no memory of his past. The only thing he figured out was that Amber was his kid and Buffy was his wife. They were his family.

"Whoa, what's with the looking at the photos?" Dawn asked walking in with a soda.

She sat down in the chair the sat in front of the couch. Angel looked up from the photo at Dawn.

"Dawn, let's say hypothetically, I was right, Spike was alive, and he had no memory of his family at all. How would you react?" Angel asked.

Dawn took a sip of her soda and shrugged.


"I don't know exactly," Dawn, answered. "I would cry for joy and try to help him out to the best of my abilities. I would tell him the things that had happened five years ago and some of the memories we had made. I mostly think I would cry and hug him."

"Oh," Angel said.

Dawn studied him for a second and noticed the uneasiness.

"This is about William isn't it?" Dawn asked scooching to the edge of the chair. "He finally got some of his memory back didn't he?"

"Not exactly," Angel answered. "He had a memory, but I think you best and wait until he gets his full memory back."

Dawn wasn't stupid. She knew very well what Angel meant by memory and the hypothetically thing meant it was real.

"William is Spike," Dawn said trying to get it out of Angel. "He finally remembered some part of who he was."

"No, Dawn," Angel lied. "I didn't say that. He had a memory. It didn't give him any kind of idea who he was. He just wanted me try to help him."

Dawn saw a drawing on the couch next to Angel.

"So you're drawing Spike now?" Dawn asked pointing to the drawing.

Angel looked over and knew he was busted.

"Not really," Angel whispered.

Dawn grabbed the drawing and saw William's signature at the bottom.

"Oh My God! William is Spike!" Dawn cried.

Angel jumped up and put a hand over Dawn's mouth.

"Hush," Angel said strictly. "Nobody can know. He wants to gain full memory before anything happens."

"Why?" Dawn asked after Angel took his hand off her mouth.

"He doesn't want to make a mistake," Angel answered sitting down again.

Dawn rubbed the back of her neck.  She sat down slowly on the chair.

"So, we help him like we said before," Dawn said with a shrug. "You already told them that William was Spike."

"No, I said it was possible," Angel corrected. "There is a difference. Plus, hearing it with my own ears coming from his mouth made me realize it is true." 

Dawn stared at him blankly.

"Angel that sentence made absolutely no sense at all," Dawn, said annoyed. Angel sighed.

"Never mind, Dawn," Angel said aggravated. "Let's just focus on the problem here. William really is Spike without speculation and he remembers nothing. He only knows that Buffy is his love and Amber is his kid. He doesn't know that he is married to her. He has no idea that he was born in 1856 or that he was turned into a vampire in 1880. He doesn't know what he has done in the past or that Buffy died seven years ago. He has no idea…"

"ANGEL!" Dawn yelled rubbing her head. "I get the point. He has no memory at all. Jeez, I'm not that stupid."

"Sorry," Angel apologized. He got up and started pacing the floor. His arms were behind him and he was muttering to himself.

"I didn't say turn into crazy man," Dawn said getting up and stopping him. "Maybe we could do some spells or take him to some of his old hang outs."

 Angel stared at Dawn.

"We can't do a spell, Dawn," Angel said strictly. "Some of the places Spike use to hang out at are way too dangerous."

"I'm not a child," Dawn roared. "I'm 22 years old. I have lived with a slayer my whole life. Spike took care of me after Buffy died and when she came back, he still took care of me as well as Buffy. Trust me, Angel. I can handle anything."

Dawn stood there her jaw clenched and her arms folded across her chest.

Angel stared at her mesmerized. For the first time ever, he noticed how beautiful Dawn was. Don't start having feelings for another Summers Woman, Angel warned himself. Last time you were attract to a Summers you turned into Angelus.

"I'm very aware of that," Angel said putting his hands on Dawn's shoulders. "I just don't think your sister would like to learn you went to demon bars."

"Clem!" Dawn said wide-eyed.  Angel stepped back and stared at her blankly.

"What?" Angel asked confused.

"Clem was Spike's best friend," Dawn answered. "He's staying at a place near Spike's crypt. Spike had him promise to keep it for him." Angel nodded and rubbed his chin.

"So, we take William to Clem," Angel said in a skeptical voice. "William meets Clem. Freaks out and we use all contact with Spike forever." Dawn punched Angel in the arm.

"According to Buffy after last night's encounter with a vampire," Dawn said. "William seemed ok with demons and such. He seemed impressed with Buffy being a vampire slayer."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

William stood next to Buffy in his bathroom back at his place. She was wiping her face and applying more make-up. She had to admit. She didn't look so bad even after she cried for thirty minutes.

"You ok?" William asked soothingly. Buffy looked over at him and gave him a small smile.

"A little better," Buffy answered. "The dream rattled me more than I thought it did. I'm sorry I ruined our…. What was that?"

"A breakfast date?" William offered. Buffy smiled and nodded.

"That seems like the right word," Buffy agreed. "I felt kind of foolish. I never really broke down like that before. Not in public anyway. Did I look like a fool? I mean you can tell me if I look like a fool. I really wouldn't…"


"Buffy," William said putting his hand on her arm. "Stop and take a breath after every sentence."

"Sorry," Buffy apologized. "I have a tendency to ramble when I'm embarrassed or nervous."

"You don't have to be either around me," William said softly.

He walked into the bathroom and shut the door. He wrapped his arms around Buffy and pulled her close.

"What are you…" Buffy began to ask, but was hushed by William putting his finger on her lips. He looked deeply into her eyes and captured her lips with his.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Where do you think they are?" Dawn asked sitting on the couch looking out the window. 

Angel sat in the chair reading a book. He really didn't want to think about Dawn. He never in his right mind thought he would be imagining kissing Dawn. She was Buffy's little sister. He needed to keep his cool. He was just feeling lonely with all the love that was in the air.

"Angel," Dawn asked. Angel shook off his thoughts and looked up at her.

"Huh?" Angel asked.

"I was wondering if you want to rent a movie tonight," Dawn asked. "Buffy and Amber will be probably eat at William's and that leaves us with the…"

"Dawn, are you asking for a date at home?" Angel asked with a smirk.

Dawn rolled her eyes then looked down.

"Yes," Dawn answered. "I know you're my sister's ex and you're older then me but…."

"Dawn, I would love to have a movie with you," Angel answered.

Dawn looked up with a million watt smile, ran over, and hugged him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy pulled away trying to catch her breath. William leaned his forehead against hers. Both were blown away from the kiss. It was one of those take your breath away kisses.

"I know we agreed to become friends," William said softly. "I just feel like I've been come closer to you then anyone I have ever known the past five years. You can leave if you want."

"William, you have been the first man I kissed in five years," Buffy whispered. "Promise me we will have more."

William smiled and kissed her again.

"As many as you want, Buffy," William promised. "It's a new beginning for all of us."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy walked through the door with Amber sleeping on her shoulder. She walked into the living room and saw Dawn sitting on the couch watching television. Angel had laid his head on her lap and was fast asleep. She was playing with his hair. It was an image of her and Spike when he was still alive.

"Hey," Buffy said softly.

Dawn looked up and smiled. She noticed her sister's swollen lips. Dawn bit back a smile.

"Well, how did it go?" Dawn asked. Buffy smiled and shrugged.

"I'll tell you all about it once I put her down," Buffy whispered then turned and put Amber down in her bed.

Buffy kissed Amber on the forehead then headed back down stairs.

Buffy walked into the living room and saw that Angel had slipped off while she was up stairs. Dawn sat stretched out on the couch.

"So, details," Dawn, demanded.

Buffy sat in the chair eager to share what had happened.

"Well we had a nice talk during breakfast," Buffy began. "After breakfast we took Amber to the park to play. I told him about my dream I had. Don't worry I'll tell you the dream later, anyway. We went back to his place and he let me calm down while he took care of Amber. You know, entertaining her. He came to check on me after ten minutes. Oh My God, Dawn. You will never believe what happened next."

"You guys had sex?" Dawn asked softly.

Buffy shooed her off.

"DAWN!" Buffy said surprised. "Amber was only a few doors away, I don't think so. We made out in the bathroom, though. It was then he asked me on a date. I mean a real date. We were going to go out Thursday if you don't mind watching Amber." 

Dawn's face lit up with a huge smile.

"Oh My God, Buffy!" Dawn cried.

The two sisters jumped up from their seats and embraced.

"I have to say I'm kind of glad you are moving on," Dawn said with a huge smile. "I think you have been alone and without a man for way too long."

"God, Dawn!" Buffy said stepping away from her sister. "Is sex the only thing you think about?" Dawn shrugged.

"You know very well that you have been restless with out a man," Dawn said with a sly smile.

"Dawn Mary Summers, we have a five year old in the house," Buffy said disgusted and amused. "There will be none of that kind of language in this house."

Dawn sighed and winked at her sister.

"I was just teasing you," Dawn said with a smile.

She sat back down on the couch and went back to her television.

"So you and Angel huh?" Buffy asked sitting back down in her chair.

Dawn looked over at her sister.

"There is no Angel and I," Dawn said defensively then her voice got soft. "At least not yet." 

Buffy smiled and shook her head.

The Summers sisters had fallen for two vampires. One, married and had a child with one, then lost him. The other, just getting to know the vamp even though the other sister had all ready dated him when she was in high school.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Two days later: Thursday

"Buffy, come on," Dawn yelled from out her sisters door. "William, will be here in three minutes." Dawn stood at the door tapping her foot.

Buffy opened the door. She had her make-up one and her hair was done, but she was still in her bathrobe. Dawn sighed and pushed her way in. All her sister's dresses were tossed on the bed. She saw a shimmering red one on the corner of the bed and grabbed it. She threw it at her sister.

"Wear that one," Dawn said simply.

Without another word, Dawn turned and left the room. Buffy threw on the dress got out some nice heels. She rushed when she heard the doorbell ring.

"Hello, William," Dawn greeted with a sweet smile.

William was dressed up in a nice dark blue dress-shirt and wearing kaki pants with black shoes. He wore a light blue tie. His hair was slicked back slightly. Dawn saw so much of a resemblance of Spike that she almost lost her breath.  She had to admit the guy knew how to bring out his eyes and he had some sense of style.

"Hello, Dawn," William greeted with a nervous smile. "Is Buffy ready yet?" 

Dawn shook her head.

"Not, yet," Dawn answered. "She's…."

"She's absolutely gorgeous," William, said breath taken. Dawn turned and saw her sister walking down the stairs.

Buffy wore a red dress that showed all the right curves. Her half of her hair was put into a ponytail. The dark red lipstick brought out her lips and her liner drew attention to the eyes. William couldn't help to notice that the dress showed just right amount of cleavage.

"You look so handsome," Buffy complimented taking William's arm.

He couldn't stop looking at her.

"You look so beautiful, Buffy," William whispered.

Buffy's face lit up.

"Thank you," Buffy said gracefully.

She looked over at Dawn.

"I'll see you sometime, tonight," Buffy said more motherly like. "No making out in front of Amber. No talks of doing it. The entire list of emergency numbers are on the refrigerator and remember, Amber's bed time is at 9:00, no letting her staying up late." 

Buffy looked over at William.

"Let's go."

William and Buffy headed out to his bar and he opened the door for her. Buffy gave him a graceful nod and got into the car. He may have lost his memory but he sure can be a gentlemen, Buffy thought as William got into the driver's side of the car.

"Here," William said handing a red rose to Buffy. She smiled sweetly.

"Aww, William," Buffy cooed. "Thank you. It's beautiful." She took a whiff of it and smiled.

"It's just as beautiful as you," William said with a smile. "The rose matches you lips."

Buffy stared at him. He sure was a charmer when he wanted to be.

William took Buffy to a romantic restaurant near the bay. They softly talked over a candle light dinner and dance to the music. Buffy couldn't remember when she had so much fun.

"This has been absolutely incredible," Buffy said gazing at the water.

William took her hand and held on to it.

"I have to say you are absolutely incredible," William said with a smile.

Buffy looked at him and smiled.

"You know you can quite the charmer when you want to be," Buffy said. "You made feel like a queen tonight."

"Well, I just wanted you to have an incredible night," William said with a shrug. "I know you don't get to go on these kinds of dates having to take care of Amber. I figured why not seize the moment and show you an incredible time."

"Everything has been so romantic," Buffy said softly.

"Well, I guess I'm an old Romeo at heart," William joked.

Buffy laughed and they headed home.

William walked Buffy up to her door. Both staring deeply into each other's eyes. Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. The kissed wasn't harsh or hungry. It was slow and passionate.

William pulled back and opened the door for Buffy. She looked at him with a smile.

"The night is still young," Buffy began. "Would you like to come in?"  William couldn't refuse. This night couldn't get any better, William thought.

Buffy and William walked into the living room. Buffy gasped and William shook his head.

Dawn and Angel were doing heavy make-out on the couch during a movie.