Silent Tears
A/N: Another angsty Terra fic in which she longs for Locke.
Except I like to think my lil' ficcy goes a bit deeper than that.
Chapter 1
Terra stared at the direction of the alter, where everybody else was looking at as well. Locke and Celes could see nothing but eachother, their eyes full of nothing but pure joy and love. It was sweet, yes, romantic, definitely, but it sickened her. She had seen it so many times it bothered her that she should even care at all still.
Relm sat to her left, skillfully sketching a picture of the two as of now. Even in her drawings their love-sick eyes were apparent. Idly, Terra smoothed her red dress with her hands on her lap. It was a fire engine red, making her stand out with a glance, but in a good way. She knew she looked stunning in it, which was why she wore it in the first place - she regretted it now, because everyone else was wearing quite mellow tones, plus Edgar was giving her glances even more than usual, which made her a little nervous.
Speak of the devil. Now Edgar looked her way, once more, his eyes seeming to take in everything. He is not a perverted man - in fact, he's very honorable, and his glance was - seeminginly - as every bit innocent as the grin Sabin gave her and the intentionally loud yawn Setzer made - but he made Terra feel so uncomfortable.
"Yes, I do." Celes' voice, standing out from the priests' usual drone, made Terra's eyes shift back to the alter, as well as Edgar's.
As Terra watched Celes smile now, she thought jealously for the millionth time how beautiful Celes was. They were a match made for heaven. Locke wasn't charmingly handsome as Edgar, the natural knight-in-shining-armor, was, nor buff, bronze, and sturdy like Sabin, but with a lean, wry form and a matching grin, with winking grey eyes.
He looked out of place in the sleek black penguin suit, constantly pulling at the bow tie, but he managed not to fidget under Celes' steady but dangerous eyes, just daring him to take a rude scratch.
Celes, as a Magitek Knight, was a sturdy woman, but somehow still slender, with a pale complexion and crystal blue eyes. Her fluffy white wedding gown with a tight bodice seemed unlike her personality, but flattered her figure well.
"And do you, Locke Cole, take Celes to be your wife?"
"I do." Locke was grinning like an idiot.
"Then you may kiss the bride."
Terra wanted to close her eyes, like she had planned to earlier, but her eyes seemed to be taped open as she saw Celes lean in, and Locke moved his lips to her...
She heard Relm sigh next to her. "Don't they look so happy, Terra?"
Relm whispered. Terra never answered.
As they finally liplocked, everyone cheered, and a minute later, their mouths were still together, and Setzer, with impatience and perhaps a bit of envy, said loudly, "Any day now!"
Locke and Celes quickly broke apart, looking sheepish, but happy.
The wedding had taken place in Figaro castle. Edgar was all but the official 'big event host', from everything back to the reunion of Kefka's death (2 months ago) to weddings for all his friends.
As it was, the castle had been expanding, and still was. Plus, it was right next to South Figaro, because Edgar had felt the need to be close by his people, without having to go past the torturous desert and cave for it. Everyone left the great hall to go to the new ballroom,
for the reception.
The orchestra, courtesy of the Opera House's never-ending graitidude, was playing a moderate-tempo waltz as Locke led Celes to the center of the room, and they began dancing by themselves, smiling at eachother all the while. Soon everyone else was dancing too. Relm, who had stuck by her side the entire time, pulled Terra's arm towards an empty table and they sat down.
"I hope I'll get married and have a wedding like this." Relm said in awe. "A wedding in a giant castle.. a ballroom and orchestra to go with it..its just like a fairytale, isn't it, Terra?"
"Mmm." Terra mumbled in reply, looking at Locke and Celes, who had now left to the balcony for some private time.
Relm frowned at her. "Terra," she said in a mature voice unlike her own. "You've been acting strange all day. Tell me what's wrong."
Terra looked at her in surprise, and was met with stern blue eyes much older than 15. "I..." She faltered, and looked away. "It's nothing."
Relm looked at her, and sighed. "I have a pretty good idea of what it is already, you know." She said.
"But you have to admit it to me - or anyone, first, so you can finally admit it to yourself."
Amazed, Terra watched as Relm unseated herself to walk towards Gau looking out of place in a formal suit, and dragged him to the dance floor. Terra smiled to herself. Relm wasn't one to sit around - she was a confident girl. Strago would be proud.
"Alright there, Terra?" Sabin was sitting himself down.
"Hi Sabin." Terra grinned at his fidgety form in the constricting penguin suit. He was worse than Locke. "This suit is horrible." Sabin said, scratching at his neck. "I think the bow tie's possessed. It's trying to strangle me."
Terra laughed, but it was an empty, hollow noise. She hoped Sabin wouldn't notice. Sabin surveyed her. "What happened to the green dress? It was nice. It made you look very...er, elegant. Not that you don't look like that all the time - " Sabin rushed, but Terra stopped him with a laugh. "You're not very good at wooing girls, are you, Sabin?" Then, in a more uhappy voice, she said, "Do you think this dress is revolting too? I'm getting sick of it myself."
"All I know is, my brother's been staring at you like hell's frozen over." He paused, and hurried, "I mean that in a good way."
"I know you do." Terra smiled faintly. "Is this how you've been acting around Lana? I can't imagine you're getting very far."
"I can't speak a sentence without stuttering to her." He sighed. "My brother's advice isn't very good."
Terra had a hoot. "You've been using EDGAR's tactics?" She said.
Lana was a girl from South Figaro. She stood out from the other village girls, in all their blonde hair, blue-eyed glory - she had darkish-skin, like she had a good tan, with black hair in elaborate braids, and eyes so azure they were purple. The only reason Sabin knew she existed however was because of her fighting ability - and thanks to her deadly martial arts technique, intense concentration and devotion, and a sarcastic, smart mouth to rival even Setzer and Locke, he was inlove with her. A complication maybe - she was Vargas' sister.
Sabin rose to get a drink, and a second later his seat was taken by
Edgar. "You look lovely tonight, Terra." Edgar said smoothly.
"Thank you, Edgar." Terra said politely. She personally didn't care if she looked like hell or not. She felt horrible, through and through.
He offered a glove-covered hand. "Would you care to dance?"
Terra blushed. "I..i don't really know how to dance."
Edgar laughed. "It's very simple, really. Please?"
Terra gave Edgar her hand, and they rose together. She put her hand on his shoulder, as she had seen everyone else do. Edgar still held her other hand, and put his right hand on her waist. Once again Terra felt the squirming, uncomfortable feeling, wishing that Locke were here holding her hand instead of Edgar. ~What kind of a person am I?~ She thought, horrified. ~I shouldn't be - I mean, Locke's married now, for god's sake!~ She thought fiercely to herself, as Edgar steered them around. She automatically followed him. ~And Edgar isn't a terrible person - he's a wonderful friend. I just...~ She sighed deeply at this point, and Edgar peered at her concerned. "Is something wrong?" He asked.
Terra stared back at him. "I just...I'm tired."
He took her answer with stride, probably because she looked the part. Her eyes were damp and watery, as if she'd been yawning all day.
The song ended, and Terra rubbed her eyes. "I'm going to refresh myself, Edgar." She smiled appreciatively. "You're a very good leader."
"And you didn't need any help at all. You're a natural." Edgar smiled back, and was interrupted as the Chancellor came hurrying towards him, a distressed look on his face and babbling on about some trouble with the refreshment tables.
Terra picked up her skirt slightly and walked towards the balcony.
She needed fresh air, and leaned against the cold stone, taking in the crisp night wind. "Terra!"
She turned, and saw Locke walk towards her, a strange look on his face, of one who is lost and confused and doesn't know what to do. "I saw you dancing with Edgar. What are you doing outside?"
It was very unlike Locke, and scared Terra a little. "I just came to get some air. What's the matter, Locke?" She asked soothingly.
"I..it's nothing." He said unconvincingly, much like the 'It's nothing' that Terra gave Relm. This displeased Terra. He could at least tell his best friend what was wrong. "Where's Celes?" She asked, trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice.
He glanced at her, and looked away. "Well, I'll answer the first question as well as this one. Celes and I..we just had our first married lovers' quarrel." He said the last bit sarcastically, but he still looked hurt, and Terra took his hand. Cold and clammy. Very unlike Locke as well. "Well?" She said, gently pushing him.
"Well..you know me. I'm a treasure hunter. I want to explore the world's ends forever until there's nothing left." He grinned toothily at her. "And Celes?" She asked.
"Celes..Celes is lost." He said shortly. "She doesn't know what to do with herself anymore. It's like...I don't know." He stared glumly out at the sky. "The one thing she knows she wants to do is to go to Narshe, where the central military action is taking place, to help rebuild most of the cities and regain order, like government. She and I both know the soldiers of Gestahl could use some guidance, and Celes is a general, pure and bred." He paused. "Does she not want to be with me?"
"It's not that, Locke!" Terra assured him. He gave her a look. "I'm serious! Women's intuition, trust me." She gave him a grin, and he smiled faintly back. "Look, I'll talk to her. She doesn't want to get away from you right after she's married you. There's a reasonable explanation for all of this."
"Thanks, Terra." Locke put his arm around her and squeezed her a little as a half hug, and Terra made a noiseless sigh. "No problem."
He studied her for a moment. "What happened to the green dress from the reunion?" He asked. "I liked it a lot better."
"Why is everybody saying that?" Terra said. "Sabin said it too. I thought it was a nice dress. It's red - it kind of reminds me of my old outfit."
"Aw, your green dress made you look so - I dunno." Locke shrugged, struggling with words he didn't feel comfortable saying now as a married man. "This red dress makes you look like a temptress." He wriggled his eyebrows. "The seductive demoness...female version of Edgar.."
Both Terra and Locke burst out laughing. The laughs was loud and delivered clearly into the night, but they calmed down after a while and there was silence.
"I don't know, sweetie." Locke said suddenly. He looked up at the stars. "What are all we heroes supposed to do now? We've defeated Kefka - there's no immediate new danger that we know of - are we supposed to lay around and become just like anybody else - settle down with a job, get married, have kids, the works? I don't feel like that - Celes and I won't be ready to have kids for many years, I can tell. I don't have a sense of purpose anymore - I don't feel like I have a role to play that's actually worth pursuing. Maybe i'm just supposed to wander around the world, a kindred spirit, with no real purpose to his life. I know you have a role you want to play - you, Terra, wish to raise an orphanage and be around kids, receive all the love you'll ever need. And I'm just realizing now, maybe I don't want this kind of love, this - bondage, marriege, even with Celes, the woman I love. Marriege seems kind of like forcing to make things permanant instead of being free. Maybe I shouldn't trouble you with these problems, sweetie. Or maybe, just maybe, I should've thought over this BEFORE I got hitched. What do you think, Terra?" He turned to grin at her, but was shocked to see tears streaming silently down her face. Her mouth was moving, as if she wished to speak, or had sobs that wouldn't come out. He hugged her, whispering comforting words to her as her tears wet his shirt, rubbing her back gently, all the while wondering, amazed, how somebody could cry silently. Completely silent. He had never seen it happen before.
TBC
A/N: NO, that's not the end of the fic! If it were, it'd be the most stupid ending. Ever. Period. Well, besides the ending to Spiderman. I mean, really. "I love you Mary Jane, and I've wanted to be with you since I was a kid, but I can't. And ya know what, that's okay, cuz I'm SPIDERMAN!!! WOOHOO!"
If I were Mary Jane, I'd just be like "Up yours, Spidey."
A/N: Another angsty Terra fic in which she longs for Locke.
Except I like to think my lil' ficcy goes a bit deeper than that.
Chapter 1
Terra stared at the direction of the alter, where everybody else was looking at as well. Locke and Celes could see nothing but eachother, their eyes full of nothing but pure joy and love. It was sweet, yes, romantic, definitely, but it sickened her. She had seen it so many times it bothered her that she should even care at all still.
Relm sat to her left, skillfully sketching a picture of the two as of now. Even in her drawings their love-sick eyes were apparent. Idly, Terra smoothed her red dress with her hands on her lap. It was a fire engine red, making her stand out with a glance, but in a good way. She knew she looked stunning in it, which was why she wore it in the first place - she regretted it now, because everyone else was wearing quite mellow tones, plus Edgar was giving her glances even more than usual, which made her a little nervous.
Speak of the devil. Now Edgar looked her way, once more, his eyes seeming to take in everything. He is not a perverted man - in fact, he's very honorable, and his glance was - seeminginly - as every bit innocent as the grin Sabin gave her and the intentionally loud yawn Setzer made - but he made Terra feel so uncomfortable.
"Yes, I do." Celes' voice, standing out from the priests' usual drone, made Terra's eyes shift back to the alter, as well as Edgar's.
As Terra watched Celes smile now, she thought jealously for the millionth time how beautiful Celes was. They were a match made for heaven. Locke wasn't charmingly handsome as Edgar, the natural knight-in-shining-armor, was, nor buff, bronze, and sturdy like Sabin, but with a lean, wry form and a matching grin, with winking grey eyes.
He looked out of place in the sleek black penguin suit, constantly pulling at the bow tie, but he managed not to fidget under Celes' steady but dangerous eyes, just daring him to take a rude scratch.
Celes, as a Magitek Knight, was a sturdy woman, but somehow still slender, with a pale complexion and crystal blue eyes. Her fluffy white wedding gown with a tight bodice seemed unlike her personality, but flattered her figure well.
"And do you, Locke Cole, take Celes to be your wife?"
"I do." Locke was grinning like an idiot.
"Then you may kiss the bride."
Terra wanted to close her eyes, like she had planned to earlier, but her eyes seemed to be taped open as she saw Celes lean in, and Locke moved his lips to her...
She heard Relm sigh next to her. "Don't they look so happy, Terra?"
Relm whispered. Terra never answered.
As they finally liplocked, everyone cheered, and a minute later, their mouths were still together, and Setzer, with impatience and perhaps a bit of envy, said loudly, "Any day now!"
Locke and Celes quickly broke apart, looking sheepish, but happy.
The wedding had taken place in Figaro castle. Edgar was all but the official 'big event host', from everything back to the reunion of Kefka's death (2 months ago) to weddings for all his friends.
As it was, the castle had been expanding, and still was. Plus, it was right next to South Figaro, because Edgar had felt the need to be close by his people, without having to go past the torturous desert and cave for it. Everyone left the great hall to go to the new ballroom,
for the reception.
The orchestra, courtesy of the Opera House's never-ending graitidude, was playing a moderate-tempo waltz as Locke led Celes to the center of the room, and they began dancing by themselves, smiling at eachother all the while. Soon everyone else was dancing too. Relm, who had stuck by her side the entire time, pulled Terra's arm towards an empty table and they sat down.
"I hope I'll get married and have a wedding like this." Relm said in awe. "A wedding in a giant castle.. a ballroom and orchestra to go with it..its just like a fairytale, isn't it, Terra?"
"Mmm." Terra mumbled in reply, looking at Locke and Celes, who had now left to the balcony for some private time.
Relm frowned at her. "Terra," she said in a mature voice unlike her own. "You've been acting strange all day. Tell me what's wrong."
Terra looked at her in surprise, and was met with stern blue eyes much older than 15. "I..." She faltered, and looked away. "It's nothing."
Relm looked at her, and sighed. "I have a pretty good idea of what it is already, you know." She said.
"But you have to admit it to me - or anyone, first, so you can finally admit it to yourself."
Amazed, Terra watched as Relm unseated herself to walk towards Gau looking out of place in a formal suit, and dragged him to the dance floor. Terra smiled to herself. Relm wasn't one to sit around - she was a confident girl. Strago would be proud.
"Alright there, Terra?" Sabin was sitting himself down.
"Hi Sabin." Terra grinned at his fidgety form in the constricting penguin suit. He was worse than Locke. "This suit is horrible." Sabin said, scratching at his neck. "I think the bow tie's possessed. It's trying to strangle me."
Terra laughed, but it was an empty, hollow noise. She hoped Sabin wouldn't notice. Sabin surveyed her. "What happened to the green dress? It was nice. It made you look very...er, elegant. Not that you don't look like that all the time - " Sabin rushed, but Terra stopped him with a laugh. "You're not very good at wooing girls, are you, Sabin?" Then, in a more uhappy voice, she said, "Do you think this dress is revolting too? I'm getting sick of it myself."
"All I know is, my brother's been staring at you like hell's frozen over." He paused, and hurried, "I mean that in a good way."
"I know you do." Terra smiled faintly. "Is this how you've been acting around Lana? I can't imagine you're getting very far."
"I can't speak a sentence without stuttering to her." He sighed. "My brother's advice isn't very good."
Terra had a hoot. "You've been using EDGAR's tactics?" She said.
Lana was a girl from South Figaro. She stood out from the other village girls, in all their blonde hair, blue-eyed glory - she had darkish-skin, like she had a good tan, with black hair in elaborate braids, and eyes so azure they were purple. The only reason Sabin knew she existed however was because of her fighting ability - and thanks to her deadly martial arts technique, intense concentration and devotion, and a sarcastic, smart mouth to rival even Setzer and Locke, he was inlove with her. A complication maybe - she was Vargas' sister.
Sabin rose to get a drink, and a second later his seat was taken by
Edgar. "You look lovely tonight, Terra." Edgar said smoothly.
"Thank you, Edgar." Terra said politely. She personally didn't care if she looked like hell or not. She felt horrible, through and through.
He offered a glove-covered hand. "Would you care to dance?"
Terra blushed. "I..i don't really know how to dance."
Edgar laughed. "It's very simple, really. Please?"
Terra gave Edgar her hand, and they rose together. She put her hand on his shoulder, as she had seen everyone else do. Edgar still held her other hand, and put his right hand on her waist. Once again Terra felt the squirming, uncomfortable feeling, wishing that Locke were here holding her hand instead of Edgar. ~What kind of a person am I?~ She thought, horrified. ~I shouldn't be - I mean, Locke's married now, for god's sake!~ She thought fiercely to herself, as Edgar steered them around. She automatically followed him. ~And Edgar isn't a terrible person - he's a wonderful friend. I just...~ She sighed deeply at this point, and Edgar peered at her concerned. "Is something wrong?" He asked.
Terra stared back at him. "I just...I'm tired."
He took her answer with stride, probably because she looked the part. Her eyes were damp and watery, as if she'd been yawning all day.
The song ended, and Terra rubbed her eyes. "I'm going to refresh myself, Edgar." She smiled appreciatively. "You're a very good leader."
"And you didn't need any help at all. You're a natural." Edgar smiled back, and was interrupted as the Chancellor came hurrying towards him, a distressed look on his face and babbling on about some trouble with the refreshment tables.
Terra picked up her skirt slightly and walked towards the balcony.
She needed fresh air, and leaned against the cold stone, taking in the crisp night wind. "Terra!"
She turned, and saw Locke walk towards her, a strange look on his face, of one who is lost and confused and doesn't know what to do. "I saw you dancing with Edgar. What are you doing outside?"
It was very unlike Locke, and scared Terra a little. "I just came to get some air. What's the matter, Locke?" She asked soothingly.
"I..it's nothing." He said unconvincingly, much like the 'It's nothing' that Terra gave Relm. This displeased Terra. He could at least tell his best friend what was wrong. "Where's Celes?" She asked, trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice.
He glanced at her, and looked away. "Well, I'll answer the first question as well as this one. Celes and I..we just had our first married lovers' quarrel." He said the last bit sarcastically, but he still looked hurt, and Terra took his hand. Cold and clammy. Very unlike Locke as well. "Well?" She said, gently pushing him.
"Well..you know me. I'm a treasure hunter. I want to explore the world's ends forever until there's nothing left." He grinned toothily at her. "And Celes?" She asked.
"Celes..Celes is lost." He said shortly. "She doesn't know what to do with herself anymore. It's like...I don't know." He stared glumly out at the sky. "The one thing she knows she wants to do is to go to Narshe, where the central military action is taking place, to help rebuild most of the cities and regain order, like government. She and I both know the soldiers of Gestahl could use some guidance, and Celes is a general, pure and bred." He paused. "Does she not want to be with me?"
"It's not that, Locke!" Terra assured him. He gave her a look. "I'm serious! Women's intuition, trust me." She gave him a grin, and he smiled faintly back. "Look, I'll talk to her. She doesn't want to get away from you right after she's married you. There's a reasonable explanation for all of this."
"Thanks, Terra." Locke put his arm around her and squeezed her a little as a half hug, and Terra made a noiseless sigh. "No problem."
He studied her for a moment. "What happened to the green dress from the reunion?" He asked. "I liked it a lot better."
"Why is everybody saying that?" Terra said. "Sabin said it too. I thought it was a nice dress. It's red - it kind of reminds me of my old outfit."
"Aw, your green dress made you look so - I dunno." Locke shrugged, struggling with words he didn't feel comfortable saying now as a married man. "This red dress makes you look like a temptress." He wriggled his eyebrows. "The seductive demoness...female version of Edgar.."
Both Terra and Locke burst out laughing. The laughs was loud and delivered clearly into the night, but they calmed down after a while and there was silence.
"I don't know, sweetie." Locke said suddenly. He looked up at the stars. "What are all we heroes supposed to do now? We've defeated Kefka - there's no immediate new danger that we know of - are we supposed to lay around and become just like anybody else - settle down with a job, get married, have kids, the works? I don't feel like that - Celes and I won't be ready to have kids for many years, I can tell. I don't have a sense of purpose anymore - I don't feel like I have a role to play that's actually worth pursuing. Maybe i'm just supposed to wander around the world, a kindred spirit, with no real purpose to his life. I know you have a role you want to play - you, Terra, wish to raise an orphanage and be around kids, receive all the love you'll ever need. And I'm just realizing now, maybe I don't want this kind of love, this - bondage, marriege, even with Celes, the woman I love. Marriege seems kind of like forcing to make things permanant instead of being free. Maybe I shouldn't trouble you with these problems, sweetie. Or maybe, just maybe, I should've thought over this BEFORE I got hitched. What do you think, Terra?" He turned to grin at her, but was shocked to see tears streaming silently down her face. Her mouth was moving, as if she wished to speak, or had sobs that wouldn't come out. He hugged her, whispering comforting words to her as her tears wet his shirt, rubbing her back gently, all the while wondering, amazed, how somebody could cry silently. Completely silent. He had never seen it happen before.
TBC
A/N: NO, that's not the end of the fic! If it were, it'd be the most stupid ending. Ever. Period. Well, besides the ending to Spiderman. I mean, really. "I love you Mary Jane, and I've wanted to be with you since I was a kid, but I can't. And ya know what, that's okay, cuz I'm SPIDERMAN!!! WOOHOO!"
If I were Mary Jane, I'd just be like "Up yours, Spidey."