Disclaimer: As much as I would love to, I do NOT own this. I mean, the plot's mine, and the OC's are mine, but the ones you recognize…[sigh] Not mine.
A/N: Okay, because I was guilted, here's an update before the first of the month (hey, I don't have class until noon today…I love choir…)
Chapter 7: For The Love Of The Father
The halogen lamp over Kyle's desk gave Natalie just enough light to work on some sketches of her own as the moon rose in the sky. She'd been drawing for nearly four hours--it was well after ten--and was happy to have something to throw herself into. Kyle had offered to let her stay over so that they could have some of the much needed one-on-one time. She had to admit, she didn't see him as much as she wanted to.
"Are you still drawing, Lili?"
She smiled in spite of herself. "Kyle, I'm not five any more."
"So more's the pity." He sighed. "You grew up way too fast."
"I thought this was supposed to be bonding time, not a love fest." She chuckled, blending the charcoal on her paper into a fine, soft gradient.
"Okay, so I'm getting old and succumbing to senility. I'm allowed. Let's see what you've got there."
She tried to cover her work, but Kyle was much to fast and snatched it off the drafting table, holding it up at the edges so he wouldn't smudge the fresh marks. Natalie had started working with just random lines, but somehow the picture in her mind gave way to her hand, and there in front of her was a portrait of Dick Grayson.
"Wow…and you're auditioning at Julliard? I could easily get you into Pratt here in New York."
"Don't say anything." She muttered, taking it back from him and placing it in front of her again. It wasn't finished.
"Okay…Listen, do you want something to drink?" Kyle asked.
He wanted to say something, and she knew he wouldn't wait long. "Sure. Whatever's fine."
"How about a couple of Cuba Libres?"
Her head snapped to the right to meet his eyes. "Aren't you supposed to be the responsible one?"
"I am being responsible. You're drinking with a family member." He winked. "Besides, this is our bonding night, right? Why not have a little fun? Or don't you remember what that is?" He moved to tickle her middle, but she instinctively and visibly shied away. "Natalie, what's wrong?"
Shit. This wasn't her day. "Nothing. Sorry, I just didn't want to be tickled." She tried to laugh it off, but knew Kyle would see right through it.
"All right then…I'll just go get the drinks…finish up there, you're in for a night of some of the greatest films ever."
"What kind?"
"Animated, of course!" He smiled before disappearing into the kitchen.
She chuckled and shook her head. Well, it was a reprieve, at the very least. "God help us. I wish Jen was here!" She called into the kitchen.
"Coincidentally, so do I!" He called back.
Natalie could hear him cracking the tabs of coke cans and the fizz as he poured them into glasses. Taking one final look at the picture, which wasn't half bad, considering it was from memory, she tacked it to the cork board above his desk and slid down from the chair.
She walked over to the coffee table to see what animated movies he had in mind. Apparently it was Miyazaki night. Spirited Away, Laputa (Castle In the Sky), Monoke Hime (Princess Mononoke) and…My Friend Totoro? She glanced in the direction of the kitchen and shook her head. Kyle really was just one big kid, despite his efforts to hide it. Of course, she adored Miyazaki's work on several levels, but something about seeing a grown man watching the anime made her laugh. It was refreshing. About time someone recognized his work as film for adults as well as kids.
Natalie plunked down onto the couch just as Kyle emerged with two glasses. Handing one to her, he asked, "So, which one first?"
It wasn't an easy choice. They were all excellent films. Considering her mood, she answered finally, "Spirited Away. Please tell me this is the subtitled version."
"Of course!" Kyle cried. "That you would accuse me of buying dubbed Miyazaki, Natalie! I'm hurt!"
She gave him a shove as he got up to put the movie on.
When he sat back down, he took a swig of his cola and rum. "So…Natalie, do you want to talk to me about something?"
"No."
"You've been talking about Dick an awful lot lately. Is everything okay?"
"Shh, the movie's starting."
It was lame, but she really did want to watch the movie. She hadn't seen it in a long time. She missed Chihiro/Sin, Yubaba, and the others. Miyazaki's films were always a wonderful escape from harsh reality.
"We'll talk more after the movie, then."
They didn't. They watched Spirited Away, then Princess Mononoke, and then Kyle claimed choice and popped in My Friend Totoro.
It wasn't one of her favorites, but she had an idea why Kyle put it in at three in the morning. It was a simple story about two girls living with their father in the Japanese countryside, working together to keep the house in order, since their mother is in the hospital. The youngest girl, May, comes across tree spirits called Totoros and has adventures with them. Fairly standard.
Halfway through, Kyle asked again. "Natalie, is there something you wanted to talk about?"
Whether it was the early hour or the effects of three Cuba Libres, she muttered, "What's wrong with me?"
Kyle frowned and paused the movie. "Nothing's wrong with you, sweetie."
Natalie bit her lip and slumped into the couch. "Then why does he hate me so much?"
Kyle drew her into a strong hug. "He doesn't hate you, Natalie. He doesn't hate you."
Her eyes stung. "Then why doesn't he call me, or visit, something?"
"I don't know. He's a very poor father, but he does love you."
"That's what everyone says!" Natalie snapped, drawing her knees up to her chest. "If he loved me, he'd show it, wouldn't he?"
Kyle sighed. "Natalie, you have been so strong for so long…it's okay to cry. It's okay to miss him. It's okay to want him to be around."
"But I don't want him around! Not if he's going to make empty promises!"
"Is that really what you want? For him to go away permanently?"
She rested her chin on her knees. "No…but nothing I do will change the fact that he never wanted me. Better to pretend he doesn't bother me than to live in this hell of waiting for him to decide to be my Dad."
He pulled her into an even tighter hug, if that was possible. "You're right, no one deserves to go through that. But Dick has his reasons. And he does love you."
She turned her head into his chest and began to cry. She tried to stop herself, but she cried anyway. She needed to. No matter what she told herself, she still wanted Dick Grayson, her dad, to love her. She wanted him to hug her the way Kyle was hugging her now, wanted him to hold her and tell her that everything would be okay.
But he never did. He had said maybe ten words to her in a year.
"He's a bastard, I'll give you that." Kyle nodded.
"Did I…just say that out loud?" She gasped, half choking on her tears.
"I don't mind. You go ahead and cry. I think we've had enough movies for the night."
So she did. For the first time in four years, she cried for her father. And as her sobs quieted and sleep claimed her, she marveled at how much Kyle, Roy, Garth and Wally really did care about her. They helped, but they could never replace Dick, her father. No one could, not even Sam. And for the first time in four years, she knew it was okay to think about it like that.
A/N: There you go, Calle! Heh, all that in under an hour. Hooray for me! And don't worry, we'll get to Dicky soon enough. First, we need some serious comedic relief, I'm getting depressed reading my own stuff!
A/N: Okay, because I was guilted, here's an update before the first of the month (hey, I don't have class until noon today…I love choir…)
Chapter 7: For The Love Of The Father
The halogen lamp over Kyle's desk gave Natalie just enough light to work on some sketches of her own as the moon rose in the sky. She'd been drawing for nearly four hours--it was well after ten--and was happy to have something to throw herself into. Kyle had offered to let her stay over so that they could have some of the much needed one-on-one time. She had to admit, she didn't see him as much as she wanted to.
"Are you still drawing, Lili?"
She smiled in spite of herself. "Kyle, I'm not five any more."
"So more's the pity." He sighed. "You grew up way too fast."
"I thought this was supposed to be bonding time, not a love fest." She chuckled, blending the charcoal on her paper into a fine, soft gradient.
"Okay, so I'm getting old and succumbing to senility. I'm allowed. Let's see what you've got there."
She tried to cover her work, but Kyle was much to fast and snatched it off the drafting table, holding it up at the edges so he wouldn't smudge the fresh marks. Natalie had started working with just random lines, but somehow the picture in her mind gave way to her hand, and there in front of her was a portrait of Dick Grayson.
"Wow…and you're auditioning at Julliard? I could easily get you into Pratt here in New York."
"Don't say anything." She muttered, taking it back from him and placing it in front of her again. It wasn't finished.
"Okay…Listen, do you want something to drink?" Kyle asked.
He wanted to say something, and she knew he wouldn't wait long. "Sure. Whatever's fine."
"How about a couple of Cuba Libres?"
Her head snapped to the right to meet his eyes. "Aren't you supposed to be the responsible one?"
"I am being responsible. You're drinking with a family member." He winked. "Besides, this is our bonding night, right? Why not have a little fun? Or don't you remember what that is?" He moved to tickle her middle, but she instinctively and visibly shied away. "Natalie, what's wrong?"
Shit. This wasn't her day. "Nothing. Sorry, I just didn't want to be tickled." She tried to laugh it off, but knew Kyle would see right through it.
"All right then…I'll just go get the drinks…finish up there, you're in for a night of some of the greatest films ever."
"What kind?"
"Animated, of course!" He smiled before disappearing into the kitchen.
She chuckled and shook her head. Well, it was a reprieve, at the very least. "God help us. I wish Jen was here!" She called into the kitchen.
"Coincidentally, so do I!" He called back.
Natalie could hear him cracking the tabs of coke cans and the fizz as he poured them into glasses. Taking one final look at the picture, which wasn't half bad, considering it was from memory, she tacked it to the cork board above his desk and slid down from the chair.
She walked over to the coffee table to see what animated movies he had in mind. Apparently it was Miyazaki night. Spirited Away, Laputa (Castle In the Sky), Monoke Hime (Princess Mononoke) and…My Friend Totoro? She glanced in the direction of the kitchen and shook her head. Kyle really was just one big kid, despite his efforts to hide it. Of course, she adored Miyazaki's work on several levels, but something about seeing a grown man watching the anime made her laugh. It was refreshing. About time someone recognized his work as film for adults as well as kids.
Natalie plunked down onto the couch just as Kyle emerged with two glasses. Handing one to her, he asked, "So, which one first?"
It wasn't an easy choice. They were all excellent films. Considering her mood, she answered finally, "Spirited Away. Please tell me this is the subtitled version."
"Of course!" Kyle cried. "That you would accuse me of buying dubbed Miyazaki, Natalie! I'm hurt!"
She gave him a shove as he got up to put the movie on.
When he sat back down, he took a swig of his cola and rum. "So…Natalie, do you want to talk to me about something?"
"No."
"You've been talking about Dick an awful lot lately. Is everything okay?"
"Shh, the movie's starting."
It was lame, but she really did want to watch the movie. She hadn't seen it in a long time. She missed Chihiro/Sin, Yubaba, and the others. Miyazaki's films were always a wonderful escape from harsh reality.
"We'll talk more after the movie, then."
They didn't. They watched Spirited Away, then Princess Mononoke, and then Kyle claimed choice and popped in My Friend Totoro.
It wasn't one of her favorites, but she had an idea why Kyle put it in at three in the morning. It was a simple story about two girls living with their father in the Japanese countryside, working together to keep the house in order, since their mother is in the hospital. The youngest girl, May, comes across tree spirits called Totoros and has adventures with them. Fairly standard.
Halfway through, Kyle asked again. "Natalie, is there something you wanted to talk about?"
Whether it was the early hour or the effects of three Cuba Libres, she muttered, "What's wrong with me?"
Kyle frowned and paused the movie. "Nothing's wrong with you, sweetie."
Natalie bit her lip and slumped into the couch. "Then why does he hate me so much?"
Kyle drew her into a strong hug. "He doesn't hate you, Natalie. He doesn't hate you."
Her eyes stung. "Then why doesn't he call me, or visit, something?"
"I don't know. He's a very poor father, but he does love you."
"That's what everyone says!" Natalie snapped, drawing her knees up to her chest. "If he loved me, he'd show it, wouldn't he?"
Kyle sighed. "Natalie, you have been so strong for so long…it's okay to cry. It's okay to miss him. It's okay to want him to be around."
"But I don't want him around! Not if he's going to make empty promises!"
"Is that really what you want? For him to go away permanently?"
She rested her chin on her knees. "No…but nothing I do will change the fact that he never wanted me. Better to pretend he doesn't bother me than to live in this hell of waiting for him to decide to be my Dad."
He pulled her into an even tighter hug, if that was possible. "You're right, no one deserves to go through that. But Dick has his reasons. And he does love you."
She turned her head into his chest and began to cry. She tried to stop herself, but she cried anyway. She needed to. No matter what she told herself, she still wanted Dick Grayson, her dad, to love her. She wanted him to hug her the way Kyle was hugging her now, wanted him to hold her and tell her that everything would be okay.
But he never did. He had said maybe ten words to her in a year.
"He's a bastard, I'll give you that." Kyle nodded.
"Did I…just say that out loud?" She gasped, half choking on her tears.
"I don't mind. You go ahead and cry. I think we've had enough movies for the night."
So she did. For the first time in four years, she cried for her father. And as her sobs quieted and sleep claimed her, she marveled at how much Kyle, Roy, Garth and Wally really did care about her. They helped, but they could never replace Dick, her father. No one could, not even Sam. And for the first time in four years, she knew it was okay to think about it like that.
A/N: There you go, Calle! Heh, all that in under an hour. Hooray for me! And don't worry, we'll get to Dicky soon enough. First, we need some serious comedic relief, I'm getting depressed reading my own stuff!