Chapter Two: To the Mountain, very slowly
When we last left our Hero, that is to say Heros, and Navi too, they were about to go their seperate ways to reach Death Mountain. RedLink was using the Bolero express, BlueLink was using the Minuet subway, and Link and PurpleLink were riding double on Epona. Poor Epona, as if one fairy boy in tights wasn't enough. And I know what your thinking, what is Zelda doing all this while? Let's find out.
Zelda: Let me go you creep.
Vaati: Oh do you really mean it?
Zelda: No I want to stay here forever, OF COURSE I MENT IT!
Vaati: You say that now, but soon you will grow to love me.
Zelda: In a pig's eye.
Vaati: You want a pig's eye? Coming right up!
Zelda: No you one eyed freak! RRRRRRRR Link you had better be trying to save me, or so help me I will * This portion of our story has been censored for younger readers* Oh yes I will!
Vaati: You say something my precious?
Zelda: No!{sweetly} You sniveling little *ahem* {under breath} Say now, he left his Storm Cell.
Zelda looking this way and that, noticing no one around rushes for the "Storm Cell" (looks strangly like the wind waker, only with magical buttons.) picks it up and starts dialing.
Other End: Hellooo?
Zelda: Oh thank the goddesess you're there.
OE: Who isa this?
Zelda: It's me Zelda, don't you recognize me?!
OE: Shoulda I?
Zelda: Yes you should, my games sell just as many as yours do!
OE: Oha higha Donkey Kong!
Zelda:?! DK?????!!! You idiot, no one likes DK's newer games, it is me Zelda, you know the other popular Nintendo series.
OE: Oha Samus you shoulda saida it was yous!
Zelda: What is the matter with you you're thicker headed than Link!
OE: Link! Oh hi Link, how is Zelda!?
Zelda: *sighs* She is fine, but I need you to rescue her, she is being held by Vaati the Wind Mage *Thunder and Lightining* Why does that always happen?
OE: Okey Dokey Linka, I'll get my brother and we be right on it! HOO HOO! *hangs up*
Zelda: Not quite what I was hopeing for, but atleast he is coming, which is probably more than I can say for Link, I'll be he is sitting on his rear watching the sky right now!
Ah but little did Zelda know that that was exactly what one of our Links was doing.
PLink: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Link: I told ya to hang on.
Navi: Yes he did.
Epona: Neigh.
Plink: But why would Epona throw me off? She is my horse.
Link: Actually she is my horse, that and you are wearing purple, and since I don't wear purple she doesn't recognize you.
Navi: Thank you very much professer, now on to the facts, you slaped her rear twice, she doesn't like that.
Epona: Neigh!
Plink: What are you talking about? I, we, LINK! Always slaps her to make her go faster.
Link: Ah yes but not twice, she is picky about those things.
Navi: How would you like it?
Epona: Neigh.
Plink: Ok I get that, but that still wasn't right.
Link: Whatever, anyway let's go, get back on.
Navi: Yeah, maybe we should stop by Lon Lon ranch to get another horse.
Epona: NEIGH! *starts nodding head*
So as our terrific trio
Epona: NEIGH!
Excuse me, our quasy quartet headed towards Lon Lon Ranch to get another horse. Rlink was already inside the Death Mountain crater.
Rlink: So, what now.
Really Big Person In The Shadows: Link what are you doing here?
Rlink: WAAAAA! *grabs chest* left arm, tingling
Sissy Short Gaywad Wearing Green: Tingling! I knew it Mr. Fairy! I knew it!
Rlink: NO! NO! That's not what I meant!
RBPITS: Well it's to late, you already said it, now he will follow you where ever you go.
SSGWG: Yes that is right Mr. Fairy!
Rlink: Why me! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RBPITS: I don't know, but that's the way the rock cookie crumbles.
SSGWG: MMMMMMMmmmmm, cookies, C is for cookie that's good enough for me!
Rlink: Oh no you don't! *smacks SSGWG with his Four Sword*
SSGWG: OWWWCH!
RBPITS: Yes I agree with Rlink *clubs SSGWG with, um, a club*
SSGWG: Why you all hurt Tingle?!
Rlink&RBPITS: Because you are avaliable.
Tingle: Oh, I knew I should have stuck with the Wind Waker job.
RBPITS: Please, you a pest, you always bombed link.
Tingle: It's not my fault your friend did it!
Rlink: ANYWAY! We have a dungeon to find, a monster to destroy, and Tingle to beat up! We haven't time for dilly dally!
RBPITS: Don't you want to know who I am though?
Rlink: Fine who are you? *sighs*
RBPITS: I am *steps out of shadows* Darunia! Beat you didn't see that coming!
Rlink: Actually I could see you gut coming out of the shadows.
Darunia: OOps.
Tingle: Heheheh, Mr. Goron is out of shape.
Rlink: Yeah you're telling me.
Darunia: I am not! Round is a shape too ya know! I'm as fit as the next man!
Rlink: But you aren't a man, you're a Goron.
Darunia: Aw poooo.
Tingle: Hahahah he said poo.
Rlink and Darunia look at Tingle who is still laughing, at each other, back at Tingle, each other, then smack him in unison.
Tingle: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
And so we leave our dynamic duo and,
Tingle: AHem!
Oh fine we leave our dynamic duo and the fruitcake, and head to the forest to find out what danger, and/or companions await our True Blue friend.
Blink: Ah the forest, you know I think I lucked out on this one, don't get the heat of the volcano, don't get the bow legged affect from riding, it's the best, in fact I can't think of one reason why I shouldn't beat them all to the dungeon.
Blink states confidently as he strides down the stairs from the warp pad and into the long uh hallway. But as he walks he notices a sound, that sounds familier, but he just can't quite place it until,
Blink: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Unfortunatly Blink forgot all about our Moblin friends. Especially the one with the big club.
Blink: Ah ha! I shall smite thee thou feind!
Moblin: RArrrrrr *slams ground*
Blink: You think that will stop me! HA!
He shouts as he charges the hulking mass, avoiding every quaking blast with finesse, he gets up to the creatures feet and then with a mighty slash he cuts the shins of our ground pounding behemoth and then!
Moblin: WAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, why did you do that to me? *cries uncontrolably*
Blink: Uh?
OtherMoblins: What did you do!
Blink: Nothing, he just um, fell!
Moblin: Nuh un he cut my shins, and all I wanted to do was sell him cookies.Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh
OtherMoblinsLeader: Oh really, that so? Loui!
The Moblin Who Is Loui: Yes boss?
OML: Fix him. *snaps fingers*
Loui cracks his knuckles and then proceeds to bash the stuffing out of Blink.
30 Minutes later
Blink: I'm sorry please stop!
1 Hour later
Blink: oooo look at the pretty stars.
5 Hours later
Blink: Ok I'll talk!
OML: Loui! *snaps fingers*
TMWIL: Yes boss.
OML: So, did you attack this poor defenceless Moblin?
Blink: DEFENSELESS?! He had a stinking club!
Other Moblin Leader looks at the crying moblin, kicks his club away out of sight.
OML: Did you attack the poor defenseless Moblin?
Blink: *grinding teeth* Yes.
OML: Why would you do that.
Blink: Because.
OML: Loui!
Blink: No nO! I'll talk, I just wanted by, and I thought he was gonna kill me. So I cut him!
OML: You know kid, we could use someone like you.
Blink: Huh?
OML: Yeah yeah, we run a secret organization, that some would call illeagl.
Blink: Really?
OML: Oh yeah, we call ourselves, the Mondo Moblin Mob.
Blink: The Mondo Moblin Mob?
MondoMoblinMob: That's right!
OML: You see kid, I'm the MMM's leada, and we could use someone of your obvious talents.
Blink: Ok, but uh I got this thing I gotta do, and so
MMML: No problem kid, we'll help you, Boys! *snaps fingers*
Four Huge muscle ripped Moblins come in carring varying weapons.
FHMRM: Yes boss.
MMML: You four boys and Loui go with this kid, you watch his back, make sure he comes back to us, capice? [A/N: However it is spelled?]
FHMRM&Loui: Yes boss.
Blink: Thanks uh boss.
MMML: Call me papa.
Blink: Um, ok papa, see ya later.
Thus Blink, Loui and the Four Huge Muscle Ripped Moblins traveled on through to rest of the Lost Woods and eventually ended up at the LostWoods/GoronCity warp. And try to fit the Moblins through. Not an easy task to say the least.
Will Malon give them another horse, will she question why there is another Link?
Will Rink, Darunia and the queerbait ever find the dungeon?
Will Blink, Loui and the Four Huge Muscle Ripped Moblins ever get throught that cramped tunnel!?
Find out on the next chapter of The Four Swords, well sorta
When we last left our Hero, that is to say Heros, and Navi too, they were about to go their seperate ways to reach Death Mountain. RedLink was using the Bolero express, BlueLink was using the Minuet subway, and Link and PurpleLink were riding double on Epona. Poor Epona, as if one fairy boy in tights wasn't enough. And I know what your thinking, what is Zelda doing all this while? Let's find out.
Zelda: Let me go you creep.
Vaati: Oh do you really mean it?
Zelda: No I want to stay here forever, OF COURSE I MENT IT!
Vaati: You say that now, but soon you will grow to love me.
Zelda: In a pig's eye.
Vaati: You want a pig's eye? Coming right up!
Zelda: No you one eyed freak! RRRRRRRR Link you had better be trying to save me, or so help me I will * This portion of our story has been censored for younger readers* Oh yes I will!
Vaati: You say something my precious?
Zelda: No!{sweetly} You sniveling little *ahem* {under breath} Say now, he left his Storm Cell.
Zelda looking this way and that, noticing no one around rushes for the "Storm Cell" (looks strangly like the wind waker, only with magical buttons.) picks it up and starts dialing.
Other End: Hellooo?
Zelda: Oh thank the goddesess you're there.
OE: Who isa this?
Zelda: It's me Zelda, don't you recognize me?!
OE: Shoulda I?
Zelda: Yes you should, my games sell just as many as yours do!
OE: Oha higha Donkey Kong!
Zelda:?! DK?????!!! You idiot, no one likes DK's newer games, it is me Zelda, you know the other popular Nintendo series.
OE: Oha Samus you shoulda saida it was yous!
Zelda: What is the matter with you you're thicker headed than Link!
OE: Link! Oh hi Link, how is Zelda!?
Zelda: *sighs* She is fine, but I need you to rescue her, she is being held by Vaati the Wind Mage *Thunder and Lightining* Why does that always happen?
OE: Okey Dokey Linka, I'll get my brother and we be right on it! HOO HOO! *hangs up*
Zelda: Not quite what I was hopeing for, but atleast he is coming, which is probably more than I can say for Link, I'll be he is sitting on his rear watching the sky right now!
Ah but little did Zelda know that that was exactly what one of our Links was doing.
PLink: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Link: I told ya to hang on.
Navi: Yes he did.
Epona: Neigh.
Plink: But why would Epona throw me off? She is my horse.
Link: Actually she is my horse, that and you are wearing purple, and since I don't wear purple she doesn't recognize you.
Navi: Thank you very much professer, now on to the facts, you slaped her rear twice, she doesn't like that.
Epona: Neigh!
Plink: What are you talking about? I, we, LINK! Always slaps her to make her go faster.
Link: Ah yes but not twice, she is picky about those things.
Navi: How would you like it?
Epona: Neigh.
Plink: Ok I get that, but that still wasn't right.
Link: Whatever, anyway let's go, get back on.
Navi: Yeah, maybe we should stop by Lon Lon ranch to get another horse.
Epona: NEIGH! *starts nodding head*
So as our terrific trio
Epona: NEIGH!
Excuse me, our quasy quartet headed towards Lon Lon Ranch to get another horse. Rlink was already inside the Death Mountain crater.
Rlink: So, what now.
Really Big Person In The Shadows: Link what are you doing here?
Rlink: WAAAAA! *grabs chest* left arm, tingling
Sissy Short Gaywad Wearing Green: Tingling! I knew it Mr. Fairy! I knew it!
Rlink: NO! NO! That's not what I meant!
RBPITS: Well it's to late, you already said it, now he will follow you where ever you go.
SSGWG: Yes that is right Mr. Fairy!
Rlink: Why me! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RBPITS: I don't know, but that's the way the rock cookie crumbles.
SSGWG: MMMMMMMmmmmm, cookies, C is for cookie that's good enough for me!
Rlink: Oh no you don't! *smacks SSGWG with his Four Sword*
SSGWG: OWWWCH!
RBPITS: Yes I agree with Rlink *clubs SSGWG with, um, a club*
SSGWG: Why you all hurt Tingle?!
Rlink&RBPITS: Because you are avaliable.
Tingle: Oh, I knew I should have stuck with the Wind Waker job.
RBPITS: Please, you a pest, you always bombed link.
Tingle: It's not my fault your friend did it!
Rlink: ANYWAY! We have a dungeon to find, a monster to destroy, and Tingle to beat up! We haven't time for dilly dally!
RBPITS: Don't you want to know who I am though?
Rlink: Fine who are you? *sighs*
RBPITS: I am *steps out of shadows* Darunia! Beat you didn't see that coming!
Rlink: Actually I could see you gut coming out of the shadows.
Darunia: OOps.
Tingle: Heheheh, Mr. Goron is out of shape.
Rlink: Yeah you're telling me.
Darunia: I am not! Round is a shape too ya know! I'm as fit as the next man!
Rlink: But you aren't a man, you're a Goron.
Darunia: Aw poooo.
Tingle: Hahahah he said poo.
Rlink and Darunia look at Tingle who is still laughing, at each other, back at Tingle, each other, then smack him in unison.
Tingle: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
And so we leave our dynamic duo and,
Tingle: AHem!
Oh fine we leave our dynamic duo and the fruitcake, and head to the forest to find out what danger, and/or companions await our True Blue friend.
Blink: Ah the forest, you know I think I lucked out on this one, don't get the heat of the volcano, don't get the bow legged affect from riding, it's the best, in fact I can't think of one reason why I shouldn't beat them all to the dungeon.
Blink states confidently as he strides down the stairs from the warp pad and into the long uh hallway. But as he walks he notices a sound, that sounds familier, but he just can't quite place it until,
Blink: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Unfortunatly Blink forgot all about our Moblin friends. Especially the one with the big club.
Blink: Ah ha! I shall smite thee thou feind!
Moblin: RArrrrrr *slams ground*
Blink: You think that will stop me! HA!
He shouts as he charges the hulking mass, avoiding every quaking blast with finesse, he gets up to the creatures feet and then with a mighty slash he cuts the shins of our ground pounding behemoth and then!
Moblin: WAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, why did you do that to me? *cries uncontrolably*
Blink: Uh?
OtherMoblins: What did you do!
Blink: Nothing, he just um, fell!
Moblin: Nuh un he cut my shins, and all I wanted to do was sell him cookies.Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh
OtherMoblinsLeader: Oh really, that so? Loui!
The Moblin Who Is Loui: Yes boss?
OML: Fix him. *snaps fingers*
Loui cracks his knuckles and then proceeds to bash the stuffing out of Blink.
30 Minutes later
Blink: I'm sorry please stop!
1 Hour later
Blink: oooo look at the pretty stars.
5 Hours later
Blink: Ok I'll talk!
OML: Loui! *snaps fingers*
TMWIL: Yes boss.
OML: So, did you attack this poor defenceless Moblin?
Blink: DEFENSELESS?! He had a stinking club!
Other Moblin Leader looks at the crying moblin, kicks his club away out of sight.
OML: Did you attack the poor defenseless Moblin?
Blink: *grinding teeth* Yes.
OML: Why would you do that.
Blink: Because.
OML: Loui!
Blink: No nO! I'll talk, I just wanted by, and I thought he was gonna kill me. So I cut him!
OML: You know kid, we could use someone like you.
Blink: Huh?
OML: Yeah yeah, we run a secret organization, that some would call illeagl.
Blink: Really?
OML: Oh yeah, we call ourselves, the Mondo Moblin Mob.
Blink: The Mondo Moblin Mob?
MondoMoblinMob: That's right!
OML: You see kid, I'm the MMM's leada, and we could use someone of your obvious talents.
Blink: Ok, but uh I got this thing I gotta do, and so
MMML: No problem kid, we'll help you, Boys! *snaps fingers*
Four Huge muscle ripped Moblins come in carring varying weapons.
FHMRM: Yes boss.
MMML: You four boys and Loui go with this kid, you watch his back, make sure he comes back to us, capice? [A/N: However it is spelled?]
FHMRM&Loui: Yes boss.
Blink: Thanks uh boss.
MMML: Call me papa.
Blink: Um, ok papa, see ya later.
Thus Blink, Loui and the Four Huge Muscle Ripped Moblins traveled on through to rest of the Lost Woods and eventually ended up at the LostWoods/GoronCity warp. And try to fit the Moblins through. Not an easy task to say the least.
Will Malon give them another horse, will she question why there is another Link?
Will Rink, Darunia and the queerbait ever find the dungeon?
Will Blink, Loui and the Four Huge Muscle Ripped Moblins ever get throught that cramped tunnel!?
Find out on the next chapter of The Four Swords, well sorta