Chapter Three: Ya win some, Ya lose some
When we last saw our Heros things were looking dire, it was heating up in the Death Mountain Crater, they were in a tight spot in the Lost Woods, and the horse broke down in Hyrule field, so things were not going over so well for the Links, however Zelda was having slightly better luck.
Vaati: Here you are my queen, fresh pig eyes.
Zelda: Ewww, I didn't ask for pig eyes.
Vaati: You most certainly did you
Zelda: SILENCE!
Vaati: *whimpers*
Zelda: Bring me, a latte!
Vaati: Right away! *dashs out in search of a starbucks*
Zelda: Hmm, I could get used to this. Oh look he left his Storm Cell again who to call, hmmm *dialing*
Other End: Hello? Who is this? How did you get this number? Answer me!
Zelda: Whoa whoa whoa girl, calm down, it's Zelda.
Other End: Zelda? Oh right, how you doin girlfriend?
Zelda: Not bad girl, just inprisoned by this windbag mage.
Other End: Oh I know he didn't, where's that Hero of yours, whats his name, pink, jink, crossdresser?
Zelda: Ahem, Link?
OE: Oh yeah that's right, Link, where is he anyway?
Zelda: Hopefully on his way to rescue me, but he is a little thickheaded, I'll bet he is just playing some game.
OE: Yeah that's just like him, *loud blaring on other end* Whoa sorry girl, but I gotta go, Ridley is on my case again.
Zelda: Ok later.
While Zelda jokes, little does she know that one of our Links is indeed playing a game, albeit somewhat against his will.
Tingle: I spy with my little eye something......
RedLink&Darunia: red......
Tingle: Hey how'd you know?
RedLink: We are in a volcano, what else would there be in here!
Darunia: Rocks?
RedLink: You aren't helping.
Tingle: Hey hey hey, I spy with my little eye something
RedLink&Darunia: green, hehehe *smack*
Tingle: Owww, why do you guys keep beating me?
RedLink: Cause you are the smallest.
Darunia: We need a work out?
RedLinK: Speak for yourself there blubberboy.
Darunia: We've been over this.
Tingle: Ok Ok ok, I've got it this time, I spy with my little eye something
RedLink&Darunia: WHY! *cry*
As much fun as that looks, let's depart and head for the Lost Woods, where BlueLink is having problems of a different kind.
Bluelink: On 3! 1, 2, 3 PUSH!
Bluelink and the Four Huge Muscle Ripped Moblins pushed with all their might, trying to squeeze Loui through the small warp tunnel.
Loui: There is something hairy moving around in here..........AH! Spider! Spider! Get me out! Ah haha get me out!
Bluelink: NO! You are going through, I don't care whats in there. Now PUSH!
Small Child: Whatcha doin?
BlueLink&FHMRM: AHHHHHH!
Bluelink: Left arm, Tingling [wait a minute, we've used that joke] chest clenching, what do you want?
Small Child: I just wanted to know what you're doing.
BlueLink: Nothing that concerns you, just go away.
Small Child: That's not very nice Link.
Bluelink: What how do you know my name?
SC: Duh silly, I'm your best friend!
She steps out from the shadows to reveal herself to be, Saria!
Bluelink: Saria, why are you here?
Saria: Well it is my forest.
Bluelink: No it isn't, it's the Kokiri's forest.
Saria: Yeah, but I'm the Forest Sage, therefore it's my forest.
Bluelink: Yeah whatever, anyway we've got work to do, so stand aside.
Saria: Work? You are leaving the forest. Can I come too?!
Bluelink: No, we have important business to do.
Saria: Well I'm important, I can help.
FHMRM: *grumbling*
Loui: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Bluelink: What is it Loui! Speak to me!
Loui: It's a goron, he is trying to put a bomb on me!
Bluelink: WHAT! Hey you in there stop, we need him to go your way, not this way!
Goron: Nope nope nope, gotta push him back, we don't want him.
Bluelink: Come on bud, we need him to go your way, the fate of Princess Zelda, Hyrule, and the known universe depends on it!
Goron: Really?
Saria: Really?
Loui: Really?
FHMRM: grumble something that sounds alot like "Really?"
Bluelink: Um, yes really.
All: Wow.
Goron: Ok, I'll let him through, *whistles* boys we need some grease in here, on the double.
Saria: So if it is so important can I come?
Bluelink: No you can, now that's not right, stop it, NO is NO is NO!
Saria who is giving them the sad puppy dog look, with the tearing eyes and the curling whimpering lip, starts begging.
Saria: Pweease, pweeeeeeaseee!
Bluelink: No, must resist, will not give in!
Saria: Please, I promise not to get in the way!
FHMRM: *shifting uncomfortably* Ok.
Bluelink: WHAT!
Saria: YAY! THank you(etc.) I promise you won't regret it!
Bluelink: To late.
Loui: Could we maybe hurry up and get me out of here.
Bluelink: I tell ya what Loui, me and Saria will take the long way, get on the other side and pull.
Loui: NO don't leave me here!
Saria: Don't worry! These guys will stay with you.
FHMRM: *shaking head no*
Saria: OKey Dokey!
BlueLink: See ya later Lou.
Thus Saria and BlueLink heading to the Zora's Domain warp to take a short cut, Loui remained in the tunnel, and the Four Huge Muscle Ripped Moblins all went to Kokiri Village to hang out, leaving Loui all alone with a pyrotechnic goron. Our sence changes to Hyrule field, to find out how fairs our Link duo at Lon Lon Ranch. As link and company sneaks along a wall
Link: Du du du du dun dun dun dun du du du du du du du dun doo de do doo de do doo de do
Navi: Will you shutup already!
Purplelink: Yeah what's up with huming your own theme song?
Epona: Neigh.
Link: Ah come on guys, I'm trying to be suspenseful here.
Navi: Mission Impossible isn't suspenseful, it's repetative, and annoying.
Purplelink: Yeah, couldnt' you come up with something original?
Epo ah forget it, you know whats on her mind anyway.
Link: Well I don't see you coming up with anything.
Navi: Maybe because we don't want a theme song?
Purplelink: Maybe because we just want a horse so that we can rescue Zelda?
Link: Killjoy.
Navi: Just go.
As our group makes their way inside Lon Lon Ranch, Purplelink decides to simply just take a horse without asking Malon, not the best idea but
Link: Are you crazy?
Navi: First him and now you? Why do you hate me so goddesess?
Purplelink: Nah, trust me Malon won't mind, we can just take the horse and not have to bother Malon.
Link: I don't think this is a good idea.
Navi: Neither do I, but just to prove him wrong, I'll let him.
Purplelink: Thankyou, now we just slip in here unnoticed and then saddle a horse and get out of here, it'll go off like clockwork.
Link: Whatever.
Navi: Hmmm.
As Navi looks up she notices that Malon's bedroom light is on, so she decides to go inform her that one of her horses are being stolen, you can imagine the outcome.
Malon: WHAT! Link is trying to steal another one of my horses! Oh that does it!
Quite so, in a fuming rage Malon storms downstairs and outside to the stable grabbing a pitchfork on the way, I wonder what she is going to do with that?
Malon: Engarde!
Link: Huh?
Purplelink: What?
As the links turn around dumbfounded, not a hard task, Malon quickly attacks the purple clad one, unfortunatly for him, this time it was personal.
Purplelink: *high pitched girly voice* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Link: Oooo, that's harsh.
Malon: Wha? There are two of you? Oh well! *SMACK*
Link: *same* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Navi: Oooo hehehehehehehe, that has to hurt. Sorry guys, but I couldn't help myself.
Purplelink: *crying* Why did you do that, are you insane?
Link: Why why why!
Malon: Navi why are there two of them?
Navi: *laughing maniacly like the great faires do* Suffer! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Purplelink: What did I ever do to you Navi?
Link: Yeah I treated you like family, and this is how you repay me??
Malon: Um, why are there two of you?
Navi: HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Epona:(might as well) Neigh.
Purplelink(stuggling to get up): Ok I think I can explain.
Link(who has passed out from the pain):......................................
Navi: Ok that was fun, so um Malon, can we borrow a horse?
Malon: Sure, why didn't you just ask?
Purplelink: Ah why didn't I think of that.
Malon: Take that one *points to a decrepid old donkey*
Purplelink: Oh how big of you.
Malon: Only the best.
Link: Wha what did I miss?
So after a quite painful meeting Link, Purplelink, Navi, Epona and Malon are all together now, plus the donkey that is about to die at any moment.
What will befall our Heros next?
Will Tingle ever get tired of that annoying game?
Will Loui ever get out of that warp tunnel?
Will Link and Purplelink ever be able to have kids?!
Will that old donkey ever make it out of the stable, to say nothing about Kakariko and even Death Mountain? Probably not.
Find out next time on Legend of Zelda: Four Swords, well sorta.
When we last saw our Heros things were looking dire, it was heating up in the Death Mountain Crater, they were in a tight spot in the Lost Woods, and the horse broke down in Hyrule field, so things were not going over so well for the Links, however Zelda was having slightly better luck.
Vaati: Here you are my queen, fresh pig eyes.
Zelda: Ewww, I didn't ask for pig eyes.
Vaati: You most certainly did you
Zelda: SILENCE!
Vaati: *whimpers*
Zelda: Bring me, a latte!
Vaati: Right away! *dashs out in search of a starbucks*
Zelda: Hmm, I could get used to this. Oh look he left his Storm Cell again who to call, hmmm *dialing*
Other End: Hello? Who is this? How did you get this number? Answer me!
Zelda: Whoa whoa whoa girl, calm down, it's Zelda.
Other End: Zelda? Oh right, how you doin girlfriend?
Zelda: Not bad girl, just inprisoned by this windbag mage.
Other End: Oh I know he didn't, where's that Hero of yours, whats his name, pink, jink, crossdresser?
Zelda: Ahem, Link?
OE: Oh yeah that's right, Link, where is he anyway?
Zelda: Hopefully on his way to rescue me, but he is a little thickheaded, I'll bet he is just playing some game.
OE: Yeah that's just like him, *loud blaring on other end* Whoa sorry girl, but I gotta go, Ridley is on my case again.
Zelda: Ok later.
While Zelda jokes, little does she know that one of our Links is indeed playing a game, albeit somewhat against his will.
Tingle: I spy with my little eye something......
RedLink&Darunia: red......
Tingle: Hey how'd you know?
RedLink: We are in a volcano, what else would there be in here!
Darunia: Rocks?
RedLink: You aren't helping.
Tingle: Hey hey hey, I spy with my little eye something
RedLink&Darunia: green, hehehe *smack*
Tingle: Owww, why do you guys keep beating me?
RedLink: Cause you are the smallest.
Darunia: We need a work out?
RedLinK: Speak for yourself there blubberboy.
Darunia: We've been over this.
Tingle: Ok Ok ok, I've got it this time, I spy with my little eye something
RedLink&Darunia: WHY! *cry*
As much fun as that looks, let's depart and head for the Lost Woods, where BlueLink is having problems of a different kind.
Bluelink: On 3! 1, 2, 3 PUSH!
Bluelink and the Four Huge Muscle Ripped Moblins pushed with all their might, trying to squeeze Loui through the small warp tunnel.
Loui: There is something hairy moving around in here..........AH! Spider! Spider! Get me out! Ah haha get me out!
Bluelink: NO! You are going through, I don't care whats in there. Now PUSH!
Small Child: Whatcha doin?
BlueLink&FHMRM: AHHHHHH!
Bluelink: Left arm, Tingling [wait a minute, we've used that joke] chest clenching, what do you want?
Small Child: I just wanted to know what you're doing.
BlueLink: Nothing that concerns you, just go away.
Small Child: That's not very nice Link.
Bluelink: What how do you know my name?
SC: Duh silly, I'm your best friend!
She steps out from the shadows to reveal herself to be, Saria!
Bluelink: Saria, why are you here?
Saria: Well it is my forest.
Bluelink: No it isn't, it's the Kokiri's forest.
Saria: Yeah, but I'm the Forest Sage, therefore it's my forest.
Bluelink: Yeah whatever, anyway we've got work to do, so stand aside.
Saria: Work? You are leaving the forest. Can I come too?!
Bluelink: No, we have important business to do.
Saria: Well I'm important, I can help.
FHMRM: *grumbling*
Loui: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Bluelink: What is it Loui! Speak to me!
Loui: It's a goron, he is trying to put a bomb on me!
Bluelink: WHAT! Hey you in there stop, we need him to go your way, not this way!
Goron: Nope nope nope, gotta push him back, we don't want him.
Bluelink: Come on bud, we need him to go your way, the fate of Princess Zelda, Hyrule, and the known universe depends on it!
Goron: Really?
Saria: Really?
Loui: Really?
FHMRM: grumble something that sounds alot like "Really?"
Bluelink: Um, yes really.
All: Wow.
Goron: Ok, I'll let him through, *whistles* boys we need some grease in here, on the double.
Saria: So if it is so important can I come?
Bluelink: No you can, now that's not right, stop it, NO is NO is NO!
Saria who is giving them the sad puppy dog look, with the tearing eyes and the curling whimpering lip, starts begging.
Saria: Pweease, pweeeeeeaseee!
Bluelink: No, must resist, will not give in!
Saria: Please, I promise not to get in the way!
FHMRM: *shifting uncomfortably* Ok.
Bluelink: WHAT!
Saria: YAY! THank you(etc.) I promise you won't regret it!
Bluelink: To late.
Loui: Could we maybe hurry up and get me out of here.
Bluelink: I tell ya what Loui, me and Saria will take the long way, get on the other side and pull.
Loui: NO don't leave me here!
Saria: Don't worry! These guys will stay with you.
FHMRM: *shaking head no*
Saria: OKey Dokey!
BlueLink: See ya later Lou.
Thus Saria and BlueLink heading to the Zora's Domain warp to take a short cut, Loui remained in the tunnel, and the Four Huge Muscle Ripped Moblins all went to Kokiri Village to hang out, leaving Loui all alone with a pyrotechnic goron. Our sence changes to Hyrule field, to find out how fairs our Link duo at Lon Lon Ranch. As link and company sneaks along a wall
Link: Du du du du dun dun dun dun du du du du du du du dun doo de do doo de do doo de do
Navi: Will you shutup already!
Purplelink: Yeah what's up with huming your own theme song?
Epona: Neigh.
Link: Ah come on guys, I'm trying to be suspenseful here.
Navi: Mission Impossible isn't suspenseful, it's repetative, and annoying.
Purplelink: Yeah, couldnt' you come up with something original?
Epo ah forget it, you know whats on her mind anyway.
Link: Well I don't see you coming up with anything.
Navi: Maybe because we don't want a theme song?
Purplelink: Maybe because we just want a horse so that we can rescue Zelda?
Link: Killjoy.
Navi: Just go.
As our group makes their way inside Lon Lon Ranch, Purplelink decides to simply just take a horse without asking Malon, not the best idea but
Link: Are you crazy?
Navi: First him and now you? Why do you hate me so goddesess?
Purplelink: Nah, trust me Malon won't mind, we can just take the horse and not have to bother Malon.
Link: I don't think this is a good idea.
Navi: Neither do I, but just to prove him wrong, I'll let him.
Purplelink: Thankyou, now we just slip in here unnoticed and then saddle a horse and get out of here, it'll go off like clockwork.
Link: Whatever.
Navi: Hmmm.
As Navi looks up she notices that Malon's bedroom light is on, so she decides to go inform her that one of her horses are being stolen, you can imagine the outcome.
Malon: WHAT! Link is trying to steal another one of my horses! Oh that does it!
Quite so, in a fuming rage Malon storms downstairs and outside to the stable grabbing a pitchfork on the way, I wonder what she is going to do with that?
Malon: Engarde!
Link: Huh?
Purplelink: What?
As the links turn around dumbfounded, not a hard task, Malon quickly attacks the purple clad one, unfortunatly for him, this time it was personal.
Purplelink: *high pitched girly voice* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Link: Oooo, that's harsh.
Malon: Wha? There are two of you? Oh well! *SMACK*
Link: *same* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Navi: Oooo hehehehehehehe, that has to hurt. Sorry guys, but I couldn't help myself.
Purplelink: *crying* Why did you do that, are you insane?
Link: Why why why!
Malon: Navi why are there two of them?
Navi: *laughing maniacly like the great faires do* Suffer! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Purplelink: What did I ever do to you Navi?
Link: Yeah I treated you like family, and this is how you repay me??
Malon: Um, why are there two of you?
Navi: HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Epona:(might as well) Neigh.
Purplelink(stuggling to get up): Ok I think I can explain.
Link(who has passed out from the pain):......................................
Navi: Ok that was fun, so um Malon, can we borrow a horse?
Malon: Sure, why didn't you just ask?
Purplelink: Ah why didn't I think of that.
Malon: Take that one *points to a decrepid old donkey*
Purplelink: Oh how big of you.
Malon: Only the best.
Link: Wha what did I miss?
So after a quite painful meeting Link, Purplelink, Navi, Epona and Malon are all together now, plus the donkey that is about to die at any moment.
What will befall our Heros next?
Will Tingle ever get tired of that annoying game?
Will Loui ever get out of that warp tunnel?
Will Link and Purplelink ever be able to have kids?!
Will that old donkey ever make it out of the stable, to say nothing about Kakariko and even Death Mountain? Probably not.
Find out next time on Legend of Zelda: Four Swords, well sorta.