A/N: Ok readers, I realize it's been, well a long time since I updated, but to make it up to you, I did a really really long chapter(like 2500+ words) also, I've started thanking people who review my stories, but at the moment of this note, which is after the chapter was written, my ISP isn't working right, so I can't check my email to find all the reviewer names, so in general, thanks!
But seriously, if you're pressed for time, don't start now, come back later.
And remember, Read and Review!
Chapter 7: Go around! Go around!
Link: Now now girls, you know you can't get Zelda back without us.
Malon: We'll get her back without your help, you haven't exactly done much thus far!
Navi: Yeah, how am I supposed to deal with four of you!
Saria: Actually I think we need them.
Everyone stopped and looked at Saria.
Redlink: YEAH!
Bluelink: I agree.
Purplelink: Don't hurt me!
Link: Weren't you just saying bring on the pain?
Purplelink: I changed my mind.
Darunia: There is no reason to hurt them, they'll take care of that themselves.
Malon: Oh alright fine, but one more mess up and *slit neck gesture*.
So they all got together, had some fun, eventually heading to Goron city, to "kick it".
Link: *yawn* Goodnight all.
Redlink: Night.
Bluelink: G'night.
Purplelink; *snoring in a bed already*
Malon: Goodnight everyone. Thankyou for your bed Darunia!
Darunia: What? NO!
The door to Darunia's room slams shut, with Malon, Saria and Navi camping out inside.
Darunia: My feather bed. *tearing up* My teddy! *pure rage*
Link: It's ok Darunia, you can crash with us. We've got a pad!
Redlink: Yeah! We do?
Bluelink: Yeah, in Kakariko!
Darunia: Let's go.
So Darunia, Link, Redlink and Bluelink went down to Kakariko, leaving the girls, and Purplelink.
Link: Ah, home sweet home. *stepping in taking a deep breathe* Ahhhhh *coughing* Spider's smell!
Redlink: You chased out the Skulltula family!? Don't you know they are cursed?!
Bluelink: So?
Redlink: So! The curse will be on us now for killing them, or on you I should say.
Link: Ah, whatever.
They all were settling down to sleep, when a knock came to the door.
Link: Hello? *half awake*
ManwithFunnyInstrument: Go Around! Go Around! You shall all Go Around!
Link: Yeah, whatever *slams door in his face*.
MWFI: You are cursed to Go Around!
Link: *yawn* *goes back to bed*
They slept peacefully through the night, but were awoke in the morning by a feathered one.
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Huh?
Redlink: I always hated those things.
Bluelink: Yeah but don't ever hit em.
Darunia: *sleeping soundly*
Link: Well lets go get some breakfast.
The three links meandered out of their new pad, as the sun was rising.
Bluelink: Well, lets go to IHOP.
Redlink: IHOP? I can see KFC, but IHOP?
Link: Yeah, Impa'sHouseOfPorkchops.
Redlink: Sounds, somewhat less than appealing.
The three head inside, and place an order.
20 minutes later
Link: So, how about that milk?
Redlink: Yeah, I mean its not like they aren't even getting any.
Bluelink: *thinking to self* But if Malon is there, then that means,
*Scene of Lon Lon ranch, of Ingo and Talon snoozing, doing nothing.*
Impa: I'm sorry boys, but I'm all out of milk, my delivery hasn't come for today.
All3: Awww man.
Impa: SO GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
Pushing them all out Impa slams the door shut behind them and locks it up tight.
Bluelink: Now what?
Redlink: Well, we could see if Darunia is awake.
Link: Sure.
So they all went back to their pad, to see if Darunia was awake. He was not.
Link: Well that was a bummer.
Redlink: Yeah, what should we do now?
Before anyone can answer, a young maiden comes running through the middle of town, chased by a group of stalfos.
YoungMaiden: Ahhh! Help me someone! Some Hero, help me!
Bluelink: I'll save you!
Redlink: And I!
Link: As well as I!
All3: Because we are! *all dawn big hats with feathers in em, and draw their swords* The three....,
Link: What are we anyway?
Redlink: I don't know, Hylians?
Bluelink: Ya, but that doesn't roll off the tongue.
YoungMaiden: Will you get off it and save me already!
All3: Oh yes,..... that. Engarde!
They charge into battle, ready for anything.
Link: My sword! *runs back and picks up his sword* Ok, ready now!
Ahem, they charge into battle, ready for anything. Link attacks the first Stalfos before he knows what hit em. Redlink attacks another, smashing his skull to peices. Bluelink cuts another off at the spine.
Stalfos#3: Hey, wait a minute, this isn't in the script!
Stalfos#2*garbled*: Ya, do you know how long this is going to take to fix?
Stalfos#1: I still don't know what hit me.
Stalfos#4: Quit gripeing and kill em!
Stalfos': RAR! *they charge after the links*
Link:Booya! Who wants some! *dices one stalfos, while holding another back by its forehead*
Redlink: This is a waste of my obvious talents. *killing stalfos, while looking very dashing*
Bluelink: Oh shut up ya stupid ballerina. *smashing them quite barbaricly*
StalfosCaptain: STOP! YOU NUMBSKULLS! CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT!
Link: Of course not, they have no brains!
Redlink: That's true.
Bluelink: Ha ha, your soldiers are brainless!
SC: Die. *throws a bone boomerang at them*
Link: Whoa. *ducks it*
Redlink: Look out now! *bends back, to be missed*
Bluelink: Huh? *gets smacked right in the face with it, knocking him out*
YoungMaiden: Some Hero.
Link: Well I don't see you fighting.
YoungMaiden: I don't have to, that's your job. *crossing her arms*
Redlink: Well if you hadn't asked for help, he wouldn't be conked out!
YoungMaiden: And if you hadn't been such a claud, I wouldn't be in this mess.
Link: And if you..
SC: Excuse me, but we have a fight to take care of here.
Links: Oh right. *quickly kill all the stalfos except for the captain*
Link: Now as I was saying, if you hadn't been so helpless! Big, strong, mighty men,
Redlink: Don't forget good looking!
Link: Good looking,
Bluelink: Don't forget valiant.
Link: Yes, valiant, and
YoungMaiden: Full of themselves?
Link: Yes quite full of ourselves, HEY WAIT A MINUTE!
StalfosCaptain: Why do I always get the dumb lackeys.
The poor StalfosCaptain walks off, in defeat. The Links argue with the YoungMaiden until noon.
Link: And if you...
Impa: Oh knock it off already! *throws a tomato from her window*
Redlink: Hey, we could see if Darunia is awake yet.
Link: Sure.
So they all went back to their pad, to see if Darunia was awake. He was not.
Link: Well that was a bummer.
Bluelink: I get the distinct feeling we've done this before.
YoungMaiden: I haven't.
Link: Yeah, but we have.
Redlink: We have?
Bluelink: Yes you idiot, do you not remember? You've suggested that we check on Darunia twice now.
Redlink: Oh yeah.
All: Hmmm.
They sit there pondering until about midafternoon.
Purplelink: Hey guys! I came to see what you were up tahhhh! *walking down the stairs, trips, breaks neck, and dies*
YoungMaiden: Oh my! Shouldn't we help him!
Link: Link! My brother, my pal!
Redlink: Link! He was always like a littlebrother to me.
Bluelink: He was my mentor.
Impa: Your all the same! You idiots! *from window*
Link: She disgraces the dead!
Redlink: We must punish her!
Bluelink: But she knows Judo.
Link: She didn't disgrace him THAT bad did she?
Redlink: Nah, it's cool.
Bluelink: I agree.
YoungMaiden: Panzys.
Just then, a squadron of bomber cuccos flies overhead. Air raid sirens start blaring.
RandomVillager: It's the cuccos! Seek shelter! *runs inside skulltula house*
Link: Hey! That's our pad!
AnotherRandomVillager: It's also on top of the nuke shelter.
Redlink: Really?
ARV: Really.
All run inside and hide in the "nuke" shelter.
YoungMaiden: So why are they bombing us?
RV: Because, they see us as unpure.
ARv: They think that they are superior.
Link: But they're cuccos? How could they possiblily be superior?
RV: Beats me.
Redlink: Who's their leader?
ARV: Her. *holds up picture of Anju, with a small mustache under her nose.* The Fuhrer.
Bluelink: Whoa.
30 minutes pass
ARV: Well that should be it.
RV: You go up and check. *pointing at Bluelink*
Bluelink: Me? Why me?
YetAnotherRandomVillager: Because, you look like the best one here. *under breathe* And the biggest sap.
Bluelink: Okay! *runs up* AH! It reaks up here!
*Scene of Kakariko, covered in little white dots, everywhere*
YARV: Well, you told us all we need to know. *through gasmask*
ARV: Yeah thanks Link, or should I say scapegoat. *through gasmask*
RV: Hey, it's a dirty job, but one of you had to do it. *through gasmask*
Link&Redlink: Ya, thanks bro. *through hasmat suits*
Bluelink: Why you little! *leaps at them with fists of fury*
YoungMaiden: That's enough guys. *through Samus's power suit*
Links: When did you get that?
YoungMaiden: I found it.
Link: Found it? As in?
YM: Down there somewhere.
Redlink: Hey, we could see if Darunia is awake yet?
Link: Sure.
So they all went back to their pad, to see if Darunia was awake. He was not. Again.
Link: Well that's a bummer.
Bluelink: RRRR, I'm telling you we've done this before!
Redlink: Ok, I could believe that I had done it once, but not twice.
YM: So, what we gonna do?
Link: I don't know, what you wanna do?
Several hours pass, making it past sunset.
YM: So, what we gonna do?
Link: I don't know, what you wanna do?
Impa: SHUT UP! *throws knife from window, killing the YoungMaiden*
Link: NO! I was going to marry her! Just as soon as I figured out how to get her out of that suit!
Redlink: Ok, that's it, she's going down this time!
Bluelink: But she still knows Judo!
Link: Ya, she wasn't that great I guess.
Redlink: Hey, we coul
Link&Bluelink: Don't even. *hands over his mouth*
Bluelink: Come on, let's go home.
So they walk back to their house and go to bed.
But a knock on the door late at night brings them all to the door.
Link: Hello? *half asleep*
MWFI: Go Around! Go Around! You shall all Go Around! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!*Joker laugh*
*to the sports center diddy* GO AROUND! GO AROUND!, GO AROUND! GO AROUND!
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Ugh, what a nightmare.
Redlink: You're tellin me.
Bluelink: Man does that goron ever wake up?
Link: Guess not.
Redlink: Why do I get that "we've done this all before" feeling?
Link: Because you're an idiot? Well maybe IHOP will have milk this morning.
They all get up and go to Impa'sHouseofPorkchops and place an order.
20 minutes later.
Link: Man, she is just as slow this morning as yesterday.
Redlink: Yea, but I know I saw that guy sitting there yesterday.
Bluelink: Ya, and come to think of it, my fork was dirty yesterday too.
Link: And my butt itches again too.
Impa: More info than I needed, sorry boys, but I'm all out of milk, my delivery hasn't come for today.
Link: But you said that yesterday.
Impa: You weren't here yesterday, and besides that, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! *she pushes them out*
Redlink: Anyone else getting that funny feeling?
Bluelink: Ya, kinda.
Link: It's just hunger, it'll pass.
Bluelink: So now what?
Redlink: Well, we could go see if Darunia is awake yet.
Link: Sure.
So they all went back to their pad, to see if Darunia was awake. He was not.
Link: Well that was a bummer.
Bluelink: Okay, this is REALLY familiar.
Redlink: Yea, it seems like only yesterday we were kicked out of Impa's.
Link: We were, the woman can't remember a thing.
Before anyone can answer, a young maiden comes running through the middle of town, chased by a group of stalfos.
Bluelink: Now, I know that we've done this before.
Link: Oh well, we'll do it again.
YoungMaiden: Ahhh! Help me someone! Some Hero, help me!
Link: Should we, I mean we already know we'll win? So why bother?
Redlink: Yeah, we won yesterday, but not today, which is, or was yesterday, yet still being today.
Bluelink: There's a paradox.
YoungMaiden: Hey Isaac Newton, how about you try saving me instead of thinking!
Links: Ok.
All three jump into battle quickly and effortlessly killing all the stalfos, and leaving the captain to leave in defeat.
YoungMaiden: Oh mighty warriors, thank you for saving my life. How may I repay you?
Link: Um.....
Redlink: Well you could....
Bluelink: Then there is....
They think on that until noon.
Link: You could....
Redlink: Hey, we could see if Darunia is awake yet.
Link: Sure.
So they all went back to their pad, to see if Darunia was awake. He was not.
Link: Well that was a bummer.
Bluelink: So we've heard.
Redlink: This really doesn't make sense, how can a goron sleep so long?
Link: I don't know, I just don't know.
They sit there pondering until about midafternoon.
Purplelink: Hey guys!
Link: LINK STOP!
Redlink: Look out Link!
Bluelink: You must not take another step!
Purplelink: Okay? *stops* Why?
Before any can answer the Helmaroc King(the giant bird from WW) swoops in and snatches him.
Purplelink: Ahhhhhhhh!
Link: Hmm, I guess he's doomed to some kind of fateful death.
Bluelink: Yeah, well, now what?
Air raid sirens start blaring, signaling the cucco bomber run.
RandomVillager: It's the cuccos! Seek shelter! *runs inside skulltula house*
Link: Okay, I'm really starting to think this is old news.
Redlink: Ya, I mean who else has a nuke shelter under their house?
Bluelink: Not many, hey we should sell the joint, make lots of money!
Links: YEAH!
YoungMaiden: We can worry about that later, because your market value is about to go way down.
All run inside and hide in the "nuke" shelter.
YoungMaiden: So why are they bombing us?
Link: Because they see us as pureay.
Redlink: They think they are slipperyer.
Bluelink: Their leader is the Freeher.
YoungMaiden: Huh?
RandomVillager: You guys have no idea what you're talking about do you?
Links: No idea.
30 minutes pass
AnotherRandomVillager: Well that should be it.
RandomVillager: You go up and check. *pointing at Bluelink*
Bluelink: Oh no, I'm not going up there, I say she goes up there, with her fancy power suit.
YoungMaiden: Huh? Oh this old thing, ok. *puts on suit and goes outside*
RV: Well that was easy, but where did she get that suit?
Link: Beats me.
YoungMaiden: All clear! Well, sorta.
*Scene of Kakariko, covered in little white dots, everywhere*
RV: Well let's go. *through gasmask*
ARV: Yes, back to our homes, to start cleaning up. *through gasmask*
Link&Redlink: Yes, back we go. *through hasmat suits*
Bluelink: Hey, where's mine?
RV: You don't get one. *through gasmask*
Bluelink: Man!
Redlink: Hey, we could see if Darunia is awake yet?
Link: Sure.
So they all went back to their pad, to see if Darunia was awake. He was not. Again.
Link: Well that's a bummer.
Bluelink: There you go again, the same notes again!
Several hours pass, making it past sunset.
YoungMaiden: So, what we gonna do?
Link: NO! *tackles her* Don't say it.
Impa: Oh, for crying out loud, get a room! *throws knife killing the YoungMaiden*
Link: NO! Not again! I shall avenge you!
Bluelink: Judo.
Link: She'll be better in no time at all.
Redlink: Yeah, Hey, we could see if Darunia is awake yet.
Bluelink: How about we just go to bed?
Link: That sounds good.
So they walk back to their house and go to bed.
But a knock on the door late at night brings them all to the door.
Link: Hello? *half....conscious?*
MWFI: Go Around! Go Around! You shall all Go Around!
Link: Okay, whatever. *slams door*
*same as above* GO AROUND! GO AROUND!, GO AROUND! GO AROUND!
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Again?
Redlink: Okay, that's it, we offically need help.
Bluelink: I agree, let's go find the old man who roams about behind our house.
Walking outside, they find the old man who roams about behind the house.
Link: Excuse me, old man who roams about behind our house?
OMWRABTH: Yes sonny?
Redlink: We we're wondering if you could help us.
OMWRABTH: Oh? What with?
Bluelink: Well, you see sir, we seem to be repeating this day, over and over again.
OMWRABTH: Oh my, that would be a problem. I should think that, the only way to undo all this is to find the source.
Links: Huh???????????
OMWRABTH: But until you do that, you could always take advantage of the situation.
Link: MMMMM????
Redlink: What do you mean?
Bluelink: Yes do tell.
OMWRABTH: Well, since you are repeating the same day over and over, there would be no consequenses for your actions, since no one would remember except you three.
Link, Link and Link all look at each other and give an evil smile, the likes of which Ganon himself never acheived.
Link: Might I propose an evil chuckle?
Redlink&Bluelink: Agreed.
Links: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *evil chuckling*
The Links all walk into IHOP, and draw their swords. All the other customers vacate the premises.
Impa: So grasshoppers, you think you can handle the master.
Link: Yes, we do.
Impa: Verywell, if that is what you wish. *motioning them forward*
Links: AHHHHH!!! *battlecry*
Impa: Wahhhhh! *martial arts cry?*
Amidst lots of butt whooping, Link managed to land a single blow. But it meant nothing.
Redlink: Red leader to base, I'm hit! AHhhhhh! *get's neck snapped by Impa*
Impa: Next?
Bluelink: Have at ye! *throws boomerang*
Impa catches it in mid air, throws it back with might force, piercing Bluelink's heart with it.
Impa: And you?
Link: I'm good, cya later. *tries to run out, but is stopped by Impa's telekenetick(sp) powers*
Impa: You dare run from a battle?
Link: I like to think of it as... a tactical retreat. *squirms, to no avail*
Impa: Link, there's something you should know.
Link: Yes?
Impa: I am your uncle's, sister's, cousin's, friend's, roomate's, boyfriend's long lost mother.
Link: That would make you.... really old?
Impa: *narrows gaze, and tightens grip* Yes, but that's not the point.
Link: OOOkay, what does this have to do with me?
Impa: Nothing, I just felt like confusing you before you die *breaks every bone in his body, eww*
Link: Oy! *dies*
GO AROUND! GO AROUND!, GO AROUND! GO AROUND!
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Huh? Hey! I'm alive!
Redlink: YEAH! Me too!
Bluelink: Told ya she knew Judo. But nooo, we outnumber her they said, kill her easily they said, all the porkchops I could handle they said.
Link&Redlink: We didn't say that.
Bluelink: Oh! Must have been the voices in my head.
Link: Right...... SOOOO, now that we know that won't work
Redlink: Oh come on fellas! If at first you don't succeed! Try try again!
Links: YEAH!
Darunia: *snore* (felt like it)
Once again they walk in, defiantly, but this time they drop their swords, and unlatch their shields, and go unarmed, yet prepared.
Bluelink: HEY! My arms are gone! *has no arms*
Ahem, they go....weaponless.
Bluelink Whew. *arms are back*
Customers clear out, and Impa goes through same speech, while Link files his nails, Redlink stares off into space, and Bluelink picks his nose.
Impa: I'm talking here!
Link: Huh?
Redlink: *clears drool* huh?
Bluelink: Huh? OWWW! *jams finger up nose, starts to bleed* Awww man!
Impa: HIYAAAAAA! *leaps at Bluelink and kicks the... well, the snot out of him, and blood too*
Bluelink: I die! *dies*
Link: WIYAAAAAAAAA! *gets Impa in a halfnaked choke hold(isn't as nasty as it sounds)*
Redlink: Free hits! WHOOOO! *punches Impa's stomach repeatedly, and breaks his hands* OWWw!
Impa: HAhahaha! That's what 5000 situps a day will get you! OOOYA! *flips Link over her shoulder and twists his arm*
Customer: Could I get a refill?
Impa: HIYA! *chops his head off with hand*
Redlink: *leans in to dead customer* I'm guessin that's a no.
Impa: Die fool! *punches Redlink and rips out his heart, still beating* MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Link: Well, cya later! *tries to leave, but once again fails* Aww nuts.
Impa: Going somewhere?
Link: *sheepishly* no.
Impa: Good.... STAY FOR DINNER! It's on the house! *throws Redlink's heart at him, somehow killing him with it*
Link: I'll see you tomorrow!
GO AROUND! GO AROUND!, GO AROUND! GO AROUND!
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Alright men, let's get her!
Links: AHHHHHH! *battlecry, mixed with weeping*
*Scene outside IHOP, sounds of butt whooping are heard*
OMWRABTH: Ooo my, foolish youths.
RV: Yep, say gramps, put up your dukes! *gets in boxing stance*
OMWRABTH: Now look youngin...
RV: Aww come on *throws a few play punches at him*
OMWRABTH: ALRIGHT THAT'S IT! *pulls off his robe to reveal a 7ft. tall muscle ripped dude, with boxing gloves* You want some of me kid?!
RV: *has wet himself* No......
*Sounds of bone crunching, and sreaming are heard throughtout Hyrule*
Impa: AND STAY OUT! *slams door*
Link: Ahhhh, okay, how about we not do that again. *bruised all over*
Redlink: Yeah... even my bruises have bruises.
Bluelink: *is perfectly fine, eating popcorn* Oh man, what a fight, did you see the way she gave that mean left hook, and then the duck and kick, aw man, what a fight!
Link: *glaring evily* Shall we?
Redlink: *also glaring evily* We shall. *both unleash swords and do a little butt whooping of their own*
Once again our YoungMaiden comes running through town, being chased by Stalfos.
All three Link's stand on the corner and watch.
YoungMaiden: Help me help!!!! *later manages to elude the stalfos*
StalfosCaptian: You three! Where'd that girly go!?
Link: Mmmm, that way *crosses arms pointing in two different directions*
SC: Thanks alot guys thanks alot!!! *runs one way, his army runs the other*
Redlink: Man, it's great bein smarter than the other guys am I right?
Bluelink: You said it.
Awhile later, Purplelink decends the staircase.
Purplelink: Hey guys! I.....*dies from multiple arrow wounds*
Link: Your right, that was fun.
Redlink: I told you so.
Bluelink: I still say we should have used a bear trap.
Link: Tomorrow my good man, tomorrow.
Once again, later on, the air raid sirens blow, signaling the bomber birds.
Link: You know what fella's, what's it matter? We'll start the day over anyhow right?
Redlink: Yeah! And I for one will not be intimidated! *starts scooting away from the others*
Bluelink: That's right! Come on cuccos! Do your worst!
Redlink slips inside the shelter unawares to the other two.
Link: We three stand here to defy you! Right?
Bluelink: RIGHT!
Link: Right?!.... ahem, RIGHT!? Hey where is he anyway?
Bluelink: That coward! *sees him taunting them from the door*
Link: Fine then, we three shall stand here! *holds up the dead purplelink*
Bluelink: Yes! For Kakariko! *helps hold up the corpse*
5 mintues later
Link: AHHH Get em off! Get em off! AhaAAAAAAA!
Bluelink: Let us in! *pounds on shelter door*
Voicefromwithin: I'm sorry, I can't do that Dave.
Link: But this is LINK!
VFW: I'm sorry, I can't do that Link.
Link&Bluelink: WHY NOT!!!!!!!!! *crying*
25 minutes later
Link: Ever get the feeling that was a bad idea?
Bluelink: All the time, all the time.
YoungMaiden: Hi guys *in power suit* What's up?
Link&Bluelink: *both covered in....excrement and feathers* Uh.......
YoungMaiden: Well IF you had saved me earlier I would have let you onto my awsome ship, but oh well.
Link: Ship?
Bluelink: Who are you anyway?
YoungMaiden: Well, I'm actually ahhhh! *knife sticking out of her neck*
Impa: I told ya once, I tell ya again! SHUT UP! *from window, do I really need to say it?*
Link: Well, now that we DON'T know who she is, let's go get some shut eye.
Bluelink: But we still don't know the cause of our problems.
Redlink: Sure we do, it's that guy, ya know from our dream?
Link: Ah yes, him, tonight, we sleep! Tomorrow!
Bluelink: We set bear traps all over the city.
Link: Right, but the day after that!
Redlink: We try everything possible to wake up Darunia.
Link: Okay, but the day after THAT!
Bluelink: Ummmmmm
Redlink: Hmmmmmm
Link: We kill! KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Blue&Redlink: KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO AROUND! GO AROUND!, GO AROUND! GO AROUND!
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! *looks around, nobody is getting up, and the ground is black* Bwak? COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *breathes* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*passes out*
The ground is indeed black, black with bear traps, and three miscivious souls sit atop the redroof house, just waiting for someone to set off, a trap.... or two.
Link: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Bluelink: Shutup! You'll alert them to our presence!
Redlink: Shhhhh, here comes someone now.
RandomVillager: My it's a wonderful day, the sun is shining, the cuccos are clucking! The bear traps are springing! *looks at feet, which are bleeding horribly* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Get em off!
Link: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!X2, I told you this plan would work.
Bluelink: Ahem, it was my idea.
Link: Ya, but I'm you, so it was my idea.
Redlink: Hey, we could see if Darunia is awake yet?
Link: Sure.
Redlink slides off the room, and consequently is snapped by over a dozen traps, ouch.
Link: HAHAHAHAHA, sucker.
Several hours pass, making it time for purplelink to burst onto the scene.
Bluelink: Shhh shh, here he comes.
Purplelink: Ahhhh, what a find day! *doesn't notice the traps snapping onto his feet and ankles*
Link: I don't get it, its as if... as if he doesn't notice!
Narrarator: That's what I just said!
Link: Oh sorry, *under breathe* who was that guy?
Bluelink: *shrugs shoulders* Maybe a little diversion... yessss *chuckles evily*
Purplelink: I wonder where my brothers could be... my feet itch. *reaches down but comes up with a bear trap on his hand* Hmmm, that's odd. I feel kinda funnn..... *passes out and dies from blood loss*
Link: Finally! *swings arms out, knocking bluelink off the roof, into the traps* Oops... sorry!
Bluelink: I'LL GET YOU! *snap! snap!*
Link: Well, now what?
*Helmeroc King swoops down and snatches him*
Link: This I guess......
GO AROUND! GO AROUND!, GO AROUND! GO AROUND!
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Okay, it's time to Kill!
Redlink: No silly, that's tomorrow, today we wake up the sleeping goron.
Link: Oh yeah....
Bluelink: Alrighty, what should be try first?
Link: Scalding hot metal?
All: Sure.
Bluelink: *Whips out a branding iron, heats it up, and jabs it into Darunia's side* Whoooeee! Yeeha!
Darunia: *scratches, doesn't awaken*
All: Hmmmm.....
Link: Loud music?
All: Sure. *blare Balad of the Windfish at him, to no avail* Drat.
Redlink: We need to wake this goron up, any ideas?
Bluelink: Just how nice it would be to wake this goron up.
Redlink: *frustrated* Other than how nice it would be to wake this goron up?
Link&Bluelink: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.............
5 hours later
Redlink: Well?
Link: Well, we've tried, branding, blaring, burning, beating, basting, bashing, bamboozleing(?), bombing, booing, banning, bopping, brimming, buzzing, blasting, baming, booming, beamosing(hehe), bereaving, beavering, binging, boging, blingblinging, bassing, bringing, brewing, and finally, booping. All in alphabetical order!
Redlink: No it wasn't!
Link: They all started with b! he he.
Bluelink: *sigh* And then we tried, dumping, dinging, donging, dodongoing, drinking(???), driping, damping, dabbing, dawning, duneing, diiiiii I can't do it.
Link: HA HA! *flexes muscles* YA!
Redlink: I'm beginning to think this is hopeless. And helpless, and hapless, and..... ok I'm done.
Link: Still champion! YA!!!!!!!
Bluelink: Okay, it's not going to happen, let's just go get that Man with the Funny Instrument.
Link: YA!
Darunia: YA!
All three stare at him.
Darunia: What?
Link: BOUT TIME! Hey, there's another Bouting!
Bluelink: Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Darunia: What? What did I do?
Redlink: You finally woke up!
Darunia: I did? I mean, I was asleep? Huh, I guess I must have been dreaming. There were alot of Bing's around.
Link: *whistles innocently*
Redlink: Great! Now all we have to do is wait for tonight when the man comes back to visit, and Kill him!
Link: KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link must Kill!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Later that evening....
*knock, knock*
Link: Yesss? *mischiviously*
MWFI: You shall all Go Around!
Link: Ummm, no DIE!
TheRest: DIE!
All leap upon and start beating him.
Link: That's my word!
Narrartor: Okay fine, severly HURT him.
Link: That's better.
MWFI: It's to late! You're cursed! CURSEDDDDDDD! *get's snatched up by the Helmeroc King*
Link: You know, that happens more often than not.
Redlink: True dat, true dat.
Bluelink: But wait! What about the YoungMaiden, what about Link? What about the birdy bomber?
Link: Already got it covered.
*Scene of Impa surrounded by smashed bones, then pillows all over the staircase, and finally bowmen at the ready*
Link: I even got that hot chicks phone number.... whatever that is.
YoungMaiden: *takes off helmet on ship* I always told Zelda that Link was a moron.
Computer: Yes you did Samus, yes you did.
And so Samus's ship flies off towards yonder evil palace *crunch!* that is AFTER hitting the windmill in the village.
Samus: Sorry! *beep beep beep beep beep, shift gear, flies away*
Narrator:And so with that, we come
Link: Whoa whoa whoa!
Narrartor:Yes, what is it?
Link: You call THAT an ending?
Narrartor: Look buddy, I just tell it like it is, I don't come up with the stuff.
Link: Ya, but can't you change something? Like make a big fireworks display, something fun?
Narrartor: Oh fine. *somehow catches Links crotch on fire*
Link: AhhhHH!! IT BURNS AH HAAHAAAAA! WATER WATER I NEED WATER!
Narrartor: And so with THAT we come to the end of another exciting chapter of
WhisperingVoiceFromSomewhere: aspahadofhdiaofhpdkahdl
Narrartor: Oh yes that bit, alright, we aren't done yet.
It's that time again kids! It's time for Will's!
Will I even remember everything in this chapter to do this segment? NO!
Will IHOP or KFC sue me for use of their acronyms? I hope not! They wouldn't get much anyway.
Will Impa ever get more milk!? Not while Malon's away.
Will Darunia ever wake up?
Daruina: Ahem, I did wake.
Oh, well, nevermind that one.
Will the poor StalfosCaptain ever get to command a real army? Probably not, he doesn't have good hygiene.
Will Link, Link and Link ever figure out what they are so as to mock the three musketeers?! Maybe
Will Stalfo#1 ever figure out what hit him?
Will Link, Link and Link ever be able to combat Impa-san? You tell me.
Will Anju's facsit regime of cucco domination ever be stopped?
I hear they're working on it in Gerudo valley.
Will I get sued by Sport Center for use of their diddy? Possibliy.
Will Link ever hook up with the YoungMaiden who just so happens to be Samus?
Ya, maybe in your twisted minds, I'm dealing with reality here.
Will anyone ever defeat the OMWRABTH, undesputed heavy weight champ of hyrule? Nope.
Will anyone ever remember what happened here? Well, you will, maybe.
Will this section ever stop!!!!!!!!!!!
*Helmeroc King swoops in and snatches the Narrartor*
I guess soooooooo..............
But seriously, if you're pressed for time, don't start now, come back later.
And remember, Read and Review!
Chapter 7: Go around! Go around!
Link: Now now girls, you know you can't get Zelda back without us.
Malon: We'll get her back without your help, you haven't exactly done much thus far!
Navi: Yeah, how am I supposed to deal with four of you!
Saria: Actually I think we need them.
Everyone stopped and looked at Saria.
Redlink: YEAH!
Bluelink: I agree.
Purplelink: Don't hurt me!
Link: Weren't you just saying bring on the pain?
Purplelink: I changed my mind.
Darunia: There is no reason to hurt them, they'll take care of that themselves.
Malon: Oh alright fine, but one more mess up and *slit neck gesture*.
So they all got together, had some fun, eventually heading to Goron city, to "kick it".
Link: *yawn* Goodnight all.
Redlink: Night.
Bluelink: G'night.
Purplelink; *snoring in a bed already*
Malon: Goodnight everyone. Thankyou for your bed Darunia!
Darunia: What? NO!
The door to Darunia's room slams shut, with Malon, Saria and Navi camping out inside.
Darunia: My feather bed. *tearing up* My teddy! *pure rage*
Link: It's ok Darunia, you can crash with us. We've got a pad!
Redlink: Yeah! We do?
Bluelink: Yeah, in Kakariko!
Darunia: Let's go.
So Darunia, Link, Redlink and Bluelink went down to Kakariko, leaving the girls, and Purplelink.
Link: Ah, home sweet home. *stepping in taking a deep breathe* Ahhhhh *coughing* Spider's smell!
Redlink: You chased out the Skulltula family!? Don't you know they are cursed?!
Bluelink: So?
Redlink: So! The curse will be on us now for killing them, or on you I should say.
Link: Ah, whatever.
They all were settling down to sleep, when a knock came to the door.
Link: Hello? *half awake*
ManwithFunnyInstrument: Go Around! Go Around! You shall all Go Around!
Link: Yeah, whatever *slams door in his face*.
MWFI: You are cursed to Go Around!
Link: *yawn* *goes back to bed*
They slept peacefully through the night, but were awoke in the morning by a feathered one.
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Huh?
Redlink: I always hated those things.
Bluelink: Yeah but don't ever hit em.
Darunia: *sleeping soundly*
Link: Well lets go get some breakfast.
The three links meandered out of their new pad, as the sun was rising.
Bluelink: Well, lets go to IHOP.
Redlink: IHOP? I can see KFC, but IHOP?
Link: Yeah, Impa'sHouseOfPorkchops.
Redlink: Sounds, somewhat less than appealing.
The three head inside, and place an order.
20 minutes later
Link: So, how about that milk?
Redlink: Yeah, I mean its not like they aren't even getting any.
Bluelink: *thinking to self* But if Malon is there, then that means,
*Scene of Lon Lon ranch, of Ingo and Talon snoozing, doing nothing.*
Impa: I'm sorry boys, but I'm all out of milk, my delivery hasn't come for today.
All3: Awww man.
Impa: SO GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
Pushing them all out Impa slams the door shut behind them and locks it up tight.
Bluelink: Now what?
Redlink: Well, we could see if Darunia is awake.
Link: Sure.
So they all went back to their pad, to see if Darunia was awake. He was not.
Link: Well that was a bummer.
Redlink: Yeah, what should we do now?
Before anyone can answer, a young maiden comes running through the middle of town, chased by a group of stalfos.
YoungMaiden: Ahhh! Help me someone! Some Hero, help me!
Bluelink: I'll save you!
Redlink: And I!
Link: As well as I!
All3: Because we are! *all dawn big hats with feathers in em, and draw their swords* The three....,
Link: What are we anyway?
Redlink: I don't know, Hylians?
Bluelink: Ya, but that doesn't roll off the tongue.
YoungMaiden: Will you get off it and save me already!
All3: Oh yes,..... that. Engarde!
They charge into battle, ready for anything.
Link: My sword! *runs back and picks up his sword* Ok, ready now!
Ahem, they charge into battle, ready for anything. Link attacks the first Stalfos before he knows what hit em. Redlink attacks another, smashing his skull to peices. Bluelink cuts another off at the spine.
Stalfos#3: Hey, wait a minute, this isn't in the script!
Stalfos#2*garbled*: Ya, do you know how long this is going to take to fix?
Stalfos#1: I still don't know what hit me.
Stalfos#4: Quit gripeing and kill em!
Stalfos': RAR! *they charge after the links*
Link:Booya! Who wants some! *dices one stalfos, while holding another back by its forehead*
Redlink: This is a waste of my obvious talents. *killing stalfos, while looking very dashing*
Bluelink: Oh shut up ya stupid ballerina. *smashing them quite barbaricly*
StalfosCaptain: STOP! YOU NUMBSKULLS! CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT!
Link: Of course not, they have no brains!
Redlink: That's true.
Bluelink: Ha ha, your soldiers are brainless!
SC: Die. *throws a bone boomerang at them*
Link: Whoa. *ducks it*
Redlink: Look out now! *bends back, to be missed*
Bluelink: Huh? *gets smacked right in the face with it, knocking him out*
YoungMaiden: Some Hero.
Link: Well I don't see you fighting.
YoungMaiden: I don't have to, that's your job. *crossing her arms*
Redlink: Well if you hadn't asked for help, he wouldn't be conked out!
YoungMaiden: And if you hadn't been such a claud, I wouldn't be in this mess.
Link: And if you..
SC: Excuse me, but we have a fight to take care of here.
Links: Oh right. *quickly kill all the stalfos except for the captain*
Link: Now as I was saying, if you hadn't been so helpless! Big, strong, mighty men,
Redlink: Don't forget good looking!
Link: Good looking,
Bluelink: Don't forget valiant.
Link: Yes, valiant, and
YoungMaiden: Full of themselves?
Link: Yes quite full of ourselves, HEY WAIT A MINUTE!
StalfosCaptain: Why do I always get the dumb lackeys.
The poor StalfosCaptain walks off, in defeat. The Links argue with the YoungMaiden until noon.
Link: And if you...
Impa: Oh knock it off already! *throws a tomato from her window*
Redlink: Hey, we could see if Darunia is awake yet.
Link: Sure.
So they all went back to their pad, to see if Darunia was awake. He was not.
Link: Well that was a bummer.
Bluelink: I get the distinct feeling we've done this before.
YoungMaiden: I haven't.
Link: Yeah, but we have.
Redlink: We have?
Bluelink: Yes you idiot, do you not remember? You've suggested that we check on Darunia twice now.
Redlink: Oh yeah.
All: Hmmm.
They sit there pondering until about midafternoon.
Purplelink: Hey guys! I came to see what you were up tahhhh! *walking down the stairs, trips, breaks neck, and dies*
YoungMaiden: Oh my! Shouldn't we help him!
Link: Link! My brother, my pal!
Redlink: Link! He was always like a littlebrother to me.
Bluelink: He was my mentor.
Impa: Your all the same! You idiots! *from window*
Link: She disgraces the dead!
Redlink: We must punish her!
Bluelink: But she knows Judo.
Link: She didn't disgrace him THAT bad did she?
Redlink: Nah, it's cool.
Bluelink: I agree.
YoungMaiden: Panzys.
Just then, a squadron of bomber cuccos flies overhead. Air raid sirens start blaring.
RandomVillager: It's the cuccos! Seek shelter! *runs inside skulltula house*
Link: Hey! That's our pad!
AnotherRandomVillager: It's also on top of the nuke shelter.
Redlink: Really?
ARV: Really.
All run inside and hide in the "nuke" shelter.
YoungMaiden: So why are they bombing us?
RV: Because, they see us as unpure.
ARv: They think that they are superior.
Link: But they're cuccos? How could they possiblily be superior?
RV: Beats me.
Redlink: Who's their leader?
ARV: Her. *holds up picture of Anju, with a small mustache under her nose.* The Fuhrer.
Bluelink: Whoa.
30 minutes pass
ARV: Well that should be it.
RV: You go up and check. *pointing at Bluelink*
Bluelink: Me? Why me?
YetAnotherRandomVillager: Because, you look like the best one here. *under breathe* And the biggest sap.
Bluelink: Okay! *runs up* AH! It reaks up here!
*Scene of Kakariko, covered in little white dots, everywhere*
YARV: Well, you told us all we need to know. *through gasmask*
ARV: Yeah thanks Link, or should I say scapegoat. *through gasmask*
RV: Hey, it's a dirty job, but one of you had to do it. *through gasmask*
Link&Redlink: Ya, thanks bro. *through hasmat suits*
Bluelink: Why you little! *leaps at them with fists of fury*
YoungMaiden: That's enough guys. *through Samus's power suit*
Links: When did you get that?
YoungMaiden: I found it.
Link: Found it? As in?
YM: Down there somewhere.
Redlink: Hey, we could see if Darunia is awake yet?
Link: Sure.
So they all went back to their pad, to see if Darunia was awake. He was not. Again.
Link: Well that's a bummer.
Bluelink: RRRR, I'm telling you we've done this before!
Redlink: Ok, I could believe that I had done it once, but not twice.
YM: So, what we gonna do?
Link: I don't know, what you wanna do?
Several hours pass, making it past sunset.
YM: So, what we gonna do?
Link: I don't know, what you wanna do?
Impa: SHUT UP! *throws knife from window, killing the YoungMaiden*
Link: NO! I was going to marry her! Just as soon as I figured out how to get her out of that suit!
Redlink: Ok, that's it, she's going down this time!
Bluelink: But she still knows Judo!
Link: Ya, she wasn't that great I guess.
Redlink: Hey, we coul
Link&Bluelink: Don't even. *hands over his mouth*
Bluelink: Come on, let's go home.
So they walk back to their house and go to bed.
But a knock on the door late at night brings them all to the door.
Link: Hello? *half asleep*
MWFI: Go Around! Go Around! You shall all Go Around! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!*Joker laugh*
*to the sports center diddy* GO AROUND! GO AROUND!, GO AROUND! GO AROUND!
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Ugh, what a nightmare.
Redlink: You're tellin me.
Bluelink: Man does that goron ever wake up?
Link: Guess not.
Redlink: Why do I get that "we've done this all before" feeling?
Link: Because you're an idiot? Well maybe IHOP will have milk this morning.
They all get up and go to Impa'sHouseofPorkchops and place an order.
20 minutes later.
Link: Man, she is just as slow this morning as yesterday.
Redlink: Yea, but I know I saw that guy sitting there yesterday.
Bluelink: Ya, and come to think of it, my fork was dirty yesterday too.
Link: And my butt itches again too.
Impa: More info than I needed, sorry boys, but I'm all out of milk, my delivery hasn't come for today.
Link: But you said that yesterday.
Impa: You weren't here yesterday, and besides that, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! *she pushes them out*
Redlink: Anyone else getting that funny feeling?
Bluelink: Ya, kinda.
Link: It's just hunger, it'll pass.
Bluelink: So now what?
Redlink: Well, we could go see if Darunia is awake yet.
Link: Sure.
So they all went back to their pad, to see if Darunia was awake. He was not.
Link: Well that was a bummer.
Bluelink: Okay, this is REALLY familiar.
Redlink: Yea, it seems like only yesterday we were kicked out of Impa's.
Link: We were, the woman can't remember a thing.
Before anyone can answer, a young maiden comes running through the middle of town, chased by a group of stalfos.
Bluelink: Now, I know that we've done this before.
Link: Oh well, we'll do it again.
YoungMaiden: Ahhh! Help me someone! Some Hero, help me!
Link: Should we, I mean we already know we'll win? So why bother?
Redlink: Yeah, we won yesterday, but not today, which is, or was yesterday, yet still being today.
Bluelink: There's a paradox.
YoungMaiden: Hey Isaac Newton, how about you try saving me instead of thinking!
Links: Ok.
All three jump into battle quickly and effortlessly killing all the stalfos, and leaving the captain to leave in defeat.
YoungMaiden: Oh mighty warriors, thank you for saving my life. How may I repay you?
Link: Um.....
Redlink: Well you could....
Bluelink: Then there is....
They think on that until noon.
Link: You could....
Redlink: Hey, we could see if Darunia is awake yet.
Link: Sure.
So they all went back to their pad, to see if Darunia was awake. He was not.
Link: Well that was a bummer.
Bluelink: So we've heard.
Redlink: This really doesn't make sense, how can a goron sleep so long?
Link: I don't know, I just don't know.
They sit there pondering until about midafternoon.
Purplelink: Hey guys!
Link: LINK STOP!
Redlink: Look out Link!
Bluelink: You must not take another step!
Purplelink: Okay? *stops* Why?
Before any can answer the Helmaroc King(the giant bird from WW) swoops in and snatches him.
Purplelink: Ahhhhhhhh!
Link: Hmm, I guess he's doomed to some kind of fateful death.
Bluelink: Yeah, well, now what?
Air raid sirens start blaring, signaling the cucco bomber run.
RandomVillager: It's the cuccos! Seek shelter! *runs inside skulltula house*
Link: Okay, I'm really starting to think this is old news.
Redlink: Ya, I mean who else has a nuke shelter under their house?
Bluelink: Not many, hey we should sell the joint, make lots of money!
Links: YEAH!
YoungMaiden: We can worry about that later, because your market value is about to go way down.
All run inside and hide in the "nuke" shelter.
YoungMaiden: So why are they bombing us?
Link: Because they see us as pureay.
Redlink: They think they are slipperyer.
Bluelink: Their leader is the Freeher.
YoungMaiden: Huh?
RandomVillager: You guys have no idea what you're talking about do you?
Links: No idea.
30 minutes pass
AnotherRandomVillager: Well that should be it.
RandomVillager: You go up and check. *pointing at Bluelink*
Bluelink: Oh no, I'm not going up there, I say she goes up there, with her fancy power suit.
YoungMaiden: Huh? Oh this old thing, ok. *puts on suit and goes outside*
RV: Well that was easy, but where did she get that suit?
Link: Beats me.
YoungMaiden: All clear! Well, sorta.
*Scene of Kakariko, covered in little white dots, everywhere*
RV: Well let's go. *through gasmask*
ARV: Yes, back to our homes, to start cleaning up. *through gasmask*
Link&Redlink: Yes, back we go. *through hasmat suits*
Bluelink: Hey, where's mine?
RV: You don't get one. *through gasmask*
Bluelink: Man!
Redlink: Hey, we could see if Darunia is awake yet?
Link: Sure.
So they all went back to their pad, to see if Darunia was awake. He was not. Again.
Link: Well that's a bummer.
Bluelink: There you go again, the same notes again!
Several hours pass, making it past sunset.
YoungMaiden: So, what we gonna do?
Link: NO! *tackles her* Don't say it.
Impa: Oh, for crying out loud, get a room! *throws knife killing the YoungMaiden*
Link: NO! Not again! I shall avenge you!
Bluelink: Judo.
Link: She'll be better in no time at all.
Redlink: Yeah, Hey, we could see if Darunia is awake yet.
Bluelink: How about we just go to bed?
Link: That sounds good.
So they walk back to their house and go to bed.
But a knock on the door late at night brings them all to the door.
Link: Hello? *half....conscious?*
MWFI: Go Around! Go Around! You shall all Go Around!
Link: Okay, whatever. *slams door*
*same as above* GO AROUND! GO AROUND!, GO AROUND! GO AROUND!
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Again?
Redlink: Okay, that's it, we offically need help.
Bluelink: I agree, let's go find the old man who roams about behind our house.
Walking outside, they find the old man who roams about behind the house.
Link: Excuse me, old man who roams about behind our house?
OMWRABTH: Yes sonny?
Redlink: We we're wondering if you could help us.
OMWRABTH: Oh? What with?
Bluelink: Well, you see sir, we seem to be repeating this day, over and over again.
OMWRABTH: Oh my, that would be a problem. I should think that, the only way to undo all this is to find the source.
Links: Huh???????????
OMWRABTH: But until you do that, you could always take advantage of the situation.
Link: MMMMM????
Redlink: What do you mean?
Bluelink: Yes do tell.
OMWRABTH: Well, since you are repeating the same day over and over, there would be no consequenses for your actions, since no one would remember except you three.
Link, Link and Link all look at each other and give an evil smile, the likes of which Ganon himself never acheived.
Link: Might I propose an evil chuckle?
Redlink&Bluelink: Agreed.
Links: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *evil chuckling*
The Links all walk into IHOP, and draw their swords. All the other customers vacate the premises.
Impa: So grasshoppers, you think you can handle the master.
Link: Yes, we do.
Impa: Verywell, if that is what you wish. *motioning them forward*
Links: AHHHHH!!! *battlecry*
Impa: Wahhhhh! *martial arts cry?*
Amidst lots of butt whooping, Link managed to land a single blow. But it meant nothing.
Redlink: Red leader to base, I'm hit! AHhhhhh! *get's neck snapped by Impa*
Impa: Next?
Bluelink: Have at ye! *throws boomerang*
Impa catches it in mid air, throws it back with might force, piercing Bluelink's heart with it.
Impa: And you?
Link: I'm good, cya later. *tries to run out, but is stopped by Impa's telekenetick(sp) powers*
Impa: You dare run from a battle?
Link: I like to think of it as... a tactical retreat. *squirms, to no avail*
Impa: Link, there's something you should know.
Link: Yes?
Impa: I am your uncle's, sister's, cousin's, friend's, roomate's, boyfriend's long lost mother.
Link: That would make you.... really old?
Impa: *narrows gaze, and tightens grip* Yes, but that's not the point.
Link: OOOkay, what does this have to do with me?
Impa: Nothing, I just felt like confusing you before you die *breaks every bone in his body, eww*
Link: Oy! *dies*
GO AROUND! GO AROUND!, GO AROUND! GO AROUND!
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Huh? Hey! I'm alive!
Redlink: YEAH! Me too!
Bluelink: Told ya she knew Judo. But nooo, we outnumber her they said, kill her easily they said, all the porkchops I could handle they said.
Link&Redlink: We didn't say that.
Bluelink: Oh! Must have been the voices in my head.
Link: Right...... SOOOO, now that we know that won't work
Redlink: Oh come on fellas! If at first you don't succeed! Try try again!
Links: YEAH!
Darunia: *snore* (felt like it)
Once again they walk in, defiantly, but this time they drop their swords, and unlatch their shields, and go unarmed, yet prepared.
Bluelink: HEY! My arms are gone! *has no arms*
Ahem, they go....weaponless.
Bluelink Whew. *arms are back*
Customers clear out, and Impa goes through same speech, while Link files his nails, Redlink stares off into space, and Bluelink picks his nose.
Impa: I'm talking here!
Link: Huh?
Redlink: *clears drool* huh?
Bluelink: Huh? OWWW! *jams finger up nose, starts to bleed* Awww man!
Impa: HIYAAAAAA! *leaps at Bluelink and kicks the... well, the snot out of him, and blood too*
Bluelink: I die! *dies*
Link: WIYAAAAAAAAA! *gets Impa in a halfnaked choke hold(isn't as nasty as it sounds)*
Redlink: Free hits! WHOOOO! *punches Impa's stomach repeatedly, and breaks his hands* OWWw!
Impa: HAhahaha! That's what 5000 situps a day will get you! OOOYA! *flips Link over her shoulder and twists his arm*
Customer: Could I get a refill?
Impa: HIYA! *chops his head off with hand*
Redlink: *leans in to dead customer* I'm guessin that's a no.
Impa: Die fool! *punches Redlink and rips out his heart, still beating* MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Link: Well, cya later! *tries to leave, but once again fails* Aww nuts.
Impa: Going somewhere?
Link: *sheepishly* no.
Impa: Good.... STAY FOR DINNER! It's on the house! *throws Redlink's heart at him, somehow killing him with it*
Link: I'll see you tomorrow!
GO AROUND! GO AROUND!, GO AROUND! GO AROUND!
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Alright men, let's get her!
Links: AHHHHHH! *battlecry, mixed with weeping*
*Scene outside IHOP, sounds of butt whooping are heard*
OMWRABTH: Ooo my, foolish youths.
RV: Yep, say gramps, put up your dukes! *gets in boxing stance*
OMWRABTH: Now look youngin...
RV: Aww come on *throws a few play punches at him*
OMWRABTH: ALRIGHT THAT'S IT! *pulls off his robe to reveal a 7ft. tall muscle ripped dude, with boxing gloves* You want some of me kid?!
RV: *has wet himself* No......
*Sounds of bone crunching, and sreaming are heard throughtout Hyrule*
Impa: AND STAY OUT! *slams door*
Link: Ahhhh, okay, how about we not do that again. *bruised all over*
Redlink: Yeah... even my bruises have bruises.
Bluelink: *is perfectly fine, eating popcorn* Oh man, what a fight, did you see the way she gave that mean left hook, and then the duck and kick, aw man, what a fight!
Link: *glaring evily* Shall we?
Redlink: *also glaring evily* We shall. *both unleash swords and do a little butt whooping of their own*
Once again our YoungMaiden comes running through town, being chased by Stalfos.
All three Link's stand on the corner and watch.
YoungMaiden: Help me help!!!! *later manages to elude the stalfos*
StalfosCaptian: You three! Where'd that girly go!?
Link: Mmmm, that way *crosses arms pointing in two different directions*
SC: Thanks alot guys thanks alot!!! *runs one way, his army runs the other*
Redlink: Man, it's great bein smarter than the other guys am I right?
Bluelink: You said it.
Awhile later, Purplelink decends the staircase.
Purplelink: Hey guys! I.....*dies from multiple arrow wounds*
Link: Your right, that was fun.
Redlink: I told you so.
Bluelink: I still say we should have used a bear trap.
Link: Tomorrow my good man, tomorrow.
Once again, later on, the air raid sirens blow, signaling the bomber birds.
Link: You know what fella's, what's it matter? We'll start the day over anyhow right?
Redlink: Yeah! And I for one will not be intimidated! *starts scooting away from the others*
Bluelink: That's right! Come on cuccos! Do your worst!
Redlink slips inside the shelter unawares to the other two.
Link: We three stand here to defy you! Right?
Bluelink: RIGHT!
Link: Right?!.... ahem, RIGHT!? Hey where is he anyway?
Bluelink: That coward! *sees him taunting them from the door*
Link: Fine then, we three shall stand here! *holds up the dead purplelink*
Bluelink: Yes! For Kakariko! *helps hold up the corpse*
5 mintues later
Link: AHHH Get em off! Get em off! AhaAAAAAAA!
Bluelink: Let us in! *pounds on shelter door*
Voicefromwithin: I'm sorry, I can't do that Dave.
Link: But this is LINK!
VFW: I'm sorry, I can't do that Link.
Link&Bluelink: WHY NOT!!!!!!!!! *crying*
25 minutes later
Link: Ever get the feeling that was a bad idea?
Bluelink: All the time, all the time.
YoungMaiden: Hi guys *in power suit* What's up?
Link&Bluelink: *both covered in....excrement and feathers* Uh.......
YoungMaiden: Well IF you had saved me earlier I would have let you onto my awsome ship, but oh well.
Link: Ship?
Bluelink: Who are you anyway?
YoungMaiden: Well, I'm actually ahhhh! *knife sticking out of her neck*
Impa: I told ya once, I tell ya again! SHUT UP! *from window, do I really need to say it?*
Link: Well, now that we DON'T know who she is, let's go get some shut eye.
Bluelink: But we still don't know the cause of our problems.
Redlink: Sure we do, it's that guy, ya know from our dream?
Link: Ah yes, him, tonight, we sleep! Tomorrow!
Bluelink: We set bear traps all over the city.
Link: Right, but the day after that!
Redlink: We try everything possible to wake up Darunia.
Link: Okay, but the day after THAT!
Bluelink: Ummmmmm
Redlink: Hmmmmmm
Link: We kill! KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Blue&Redlink: KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO AROUND! GO AROUND!, GO AROUND! GO AROUND!
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! *looks around, nobody is getting up, and the ground is black* Bwak? COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *breathes* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*passes out*
The ground is indeed black, black with bear traps, and three miscivious souls sit atop the redroof house, just waiting for someone to set off, a trap.... or two.
Link: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Bluelink: Shutup! You'll alert them to our presence!
Redlink: Shhhhh, here comes someone now.
RandomVillager: My it's a wonderful day, the sun is shining, the cuccos are clucking! The bear traps are springing! *looks at feet, which are bleeding horribly* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Get em off!
Link: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!X2, I told you this plan would work.
Bluelink: Ahem, it was my idea.
Link: Ya, but I'm you, so it was my idea.
Redlink: Hey, we could see if Darunia is awake yet?
Link: Sure.
Redlink slides off the room, and consequently is snapped by over a dozen traps, ouch.
Link: HAHAHAHAHA, sucker.
Several hours pass, making it time for purplelink to burst onto the scene.
Bluelink: Shhh shh, here he comes.
Purplelink: Ahhhh, what a find day! *doesn't notice the traps snapping onto his feet and ankles*
Link: I don't get it, its as if... as if he doesn't notice!
Narrarator: That's what I just said!
Link: Oh sorry, *under breathe* who was that guy?
Bluelink: *shrugs shoulders* Maybe a little diversion... yessss *chuckles evily*
Purplelink: I wonder where my brothers could be... my feet itch. *reaches down but comes up with a bear trap on his hand* Hmmm, that's odd. I feel kinda funnn..... *passes out and dies from blood loss*
Link: Finally! *swings arms out, knocking bluelink off the roof, into the traps* Oops... sorry!
Bluelink: I'LL GET YOU! *snap! snap!*
Link: Well, now what?
*Helmeroc King swoops down and snatches him*
Link: This I guess......
GO AROUND! GO AROUND!, GO AROUND! GO AROUND!
Cucco: COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Okay, it's time to Kill!
Redlink: No silly, that's tomorrow, today we wake up the sleeping goron.
Link: Oh yeah....
Bluelink: Alrighty, what should be try first?
Link: Scalding hot metal?
All: Sure.
Bluelink: *Whips out a branding iron, heats it up, and jabs it into Darunia's side* Whoooeee! Yeeha!
Darunia: *scratches, doesn't awaken*
All: Hmmmm.....
Link: Loud music?
All: Sure. *blare Balad of the Windfish at him, to no avail* Drat.
Redlink: We need to wake this goron up, any ideas?
Bluelink: Just how nice it would be to wake this goron up.
Redlink: *frustrated* Other than how nice it would be to wake this goron up?
Link&Bluelink: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.............
5 hours later
Redlink: Well?
Link: Well, we've tried, branding, blaring, burning, beating, basting, bashing, bamboozleing(?), bombing, booing, banning, bopping, brimming, buzzing, blasting, baming, booming, beamosing(hehe), bereaving, beavering, binging, boging, blingblinging, bassing, bringing, brewing, and finally, booping. All in alphabetical order!
Redlink: No it wasn't!
Link: They all started with b! he he.
Bluelink: *sigh* And then we tried, dumping, dinging, donging, dodongoing, drinking(???), driping, damping, dabbing, dawning, duneing, diiiiii I can't do it.
Link: HA HA! *flexes muscles* YA!
Redlink: I'm beginning to think this is hopeless. And helpless, and hapless, and..... ok I'm done.
Link: Still champion! YA!!!!!!!
Bluelink: Okay, it's not going to happen, let's just go get that Man with the Funny Instrument.
Link: YA!
Darunia: YA!
All three stare at him.
Darunia: What?
Link: BOUT TIME! Hey, there's another Bouting!
Bluelink: Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Darunia: What? What did I do?
Redlink: You finally woke up!
Darunia: I did? I mean, I was asleep? Huh, I guess I must have been dreaming. There were alot of Bing's around.
Link: *whistles innocently*
Redlink: Great! Now all we have to do is wait for tonight when the man comes back to visit, and Kill him!
Link: KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link must Kill!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Later that evening....
*knock, knock*
Link: Yesss? *mischiviously*
MWFI: You shall all Go Around!
Link: Ummm, no DIE!
TheRest: DIE!
All leap upon and start beating him.
Link: That's my word!
Narrartor: Okay fine, severly HURT him.
Link: That's better.
MWFI: It's to late! You're cursed! CURSEDDDDDDD! *get's snatched up by the Helmeroc King*
Link: You know, that happens more often than not.
Redlink: True dat, true dat.
Bluelink: But wait! What about the YoungMaiden, what about Link? What about the birdy bomber?
Link: Already got it covered.
*Scene of Impa surrounded by smashed bones, then pillows all over the staircase, and finally bowmen at the ready*
Link: I even got that hot chicks phone number.... whatever that is.
YoungMaiden: *takes off helmet on ship* I always told Zelda that Link was a moron.
Computer: Yes you did Samus, yes you did.
And so Samus's ship flies off towards yonder evil palace *crunch!* that is AFTER hitting the windmill in the village.
Samus: Sorry! *beep beep beep beep beep, shift gear, flies away*
Narrator:And so with that, we come
Link: Whoa whoa whoa!
Narrartor:Yes, what is it?
Link: You call THAT an ending?
Narrartor: Look buddy, I just tell it like it is, I don't come up with the stuff.
Link: Ya, but can't you change something? Like make a big fireworks display, something fun?
Narrartor: Oh fine. *somehow catches Links crotch on fire*
Link: AhhhHH!! IT BURNS AH HAAHAAAAA! WATER WATER I NEED WATER!
Narrartor: And so with THAT we come to the end of another exciting chapter of
WhisperingVoiceFromSomewhere: aspahadofhdiaofhpdkahdl
Narrartor: Oh yes that bit, alright, we aren't done yet.
It's that time again kids! It's time for Will's!
Will I even remember everything in this chapter to do this segment? NO!
Will IHOP or KFC sue me for use of their acronyms? I hope not! They wouldn't get much anyway.
Will Impa ever get more milk!? Not while Malon's away.
Will Darunia ever wake up?
Daruina: Ahem, I did wake.
Oh, well, nevermind that one.
Will the poor StalfosCaptain ever get to command a real army? Probably not, he doesn't have good hygiene.
Will Link, Link and Link ever figure out what they are so as to mock the three musketeers?! Maybe
Will Stalfo#1 ever figure out what hit him?
Will Link, Link and Link ever be able to combat Impa-san? You tell me.
Will Anju's facsit regime of cucco domination ever be stopped?
I hear they're working on it in Gerudo valley.
Will I get sued by Sport Center for use of their diddy? Possibliy.
Will Link ever hook up with the YoungMaiden who just so happens to be Samus?
Ya, maybe in your twisted minds, I'm dealing with reality here.
Will anyone ever defeat the OMWRABTH, undesputed heavy weight champ of hyrule? Nope.
Will anyone ever remember what happened here? Well, you will, maybe.
Will this section ever stop!!!!!!!!!!!
*Helmeroc King swoops in and snatches the Narrartor*
I guess soooooooo..............