Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Invader Zim

Chapter Three: Getting Help

The pain in his neck and shoulders was what woke Yempt in the morning. He scratched his stomach and adjusted himself in his seat. Cracking one eye, he realized that he wasn't in his room. He froze in confusion for a moment before he recalled the previous day's events. He grumbled and sat up, not noticing the pillow that had supported his head. Tah was sitting at her desk, again staring at that little piece of paper as she ate some cereal. Yempt usually didn't eat breakfast, but he noticed that a bowl had already been set out for him and he figured it wouldn't be a bad idea. He lumbered toward the table, massaging a shoulder with one hand.

Tah didn't seem to notice him as he sat up in a chair, poured some cereal into a bowl, and began to begrudgingly much down on the grainy substance. Through sleep-stung eyes Yempt glared over at his new companion. It was because of her that things were different this morning, and he'd decided long ago he didn't like change. She seemed absorbed in her work, completely unaware that someone was shooting hate at her from the other side of the table. She absently leaned back in her chair, propping one boot up on the table. This casual action only worked to worsen Yempt's mood, and he decided to glance out of the window. He hopped out of his chair and peered through the roundish portal at the disheartening sight of the dock. Since it was early there weren't many people out aside from traders and the sort. There were a few drunken bodies lying about though, and it was this sort of characteristic Yempt focused upon. He shook his head thinking how disgusting this place was.

He was jolted from his thoughts when he heard something bang against the floor. He turned about to see Tah lying there, looking both embarrassed and surprised. It seemed as if she'd leaned back a little too far. Yempt let the poison ooze from his mouth, "Graceful, are you? Maybe you should join the ballet."

Tah tried to ignore the comment and lifted herself back up. She held out the piece of paper and slightly shook it as she spoke. "It is going to take me a while to figure this out."

"So you're saying you're stupid?"

She paused and couldn't help but frown at him. "No, I can get this. But I want it done soon, so I think we'd better get an expert."

"So you're delegating the work to someone else? I thought you worked for a living." He crossed his arms and watched as Tah turned away slightly, apparently trying to hide her expression.

"His name is Hotard - he lives on Resortia."

Yempt cocked one brow. "Oh, I see why we're going." He leaned his back against the window and tried to look unconcerned, thought secretly he was somewhat excited. He was certain Irkens of his stature hardly got a chance to see the vacation planet, so he'd never hoped to experience it. Having an opportunity like this was something he'd never expected.

Tah continued to explain. "He's a genius, and has been useful to a number of planetary systems. The Irkens are lucky that he's chosen to live on one of our planets. Although he refuses to pledge allegiance to anyone, he's a national treasure."

Yempt rolled his dark green eyes. "When's the joining?"

This got Tah's attention. "What?" She was slightly confused for a moment before her eyes narrowed at the sarcastic man before her. "Pardon," she mumbled as she stalked past him toward the cockpit. "We'll be leaving now, unless you have anything to do here?" She sent him a questioning glance.

"In this stick pot?"

Tah took that as a no and disappeared into the cockpit. Yempt grunted and took a seat by the window. He hadn't experience space travel since he'd finished his basic training and headed off to Food Courtia to become a waiter. Now he watched as the ship began to move under Tah's instruction. For the sheerest moment he wondered what the name of her craft was when there was a sharp jolt and Yempt jumped in surprise. He grabbed hold of the back of his seat, hoping something like that wouldn't happen again as he watched the people, streets, and buildings began to drift away. The sky became dark and it wasn't long before the intense gloom of space was everywhere. Yempt let his attention float away into the nothingness. He had to admit the stars were fascinating when they weren't shrouded with the lights from the city, but he disliked the total lack of color - the simple black and white nature of the view. The smoothness of the ride informed him that the ship was now being controlled by autopilot, but it didn't seem Tah was going to come out of the cockpit. Either she'd forgotten about him or he'd managed to make an impression on her.

Yempt left the window to find something interesting to do, but he was dissatisfied with everything in the room. He wasn't very interested in reading - it always bored him - and there didn't seem to be much else to do. There was an electronic gaming pad sitting on one of the shelves. He picked it up and blew a thin film of dust off its surface. He sat in the corner for a moment and played a few games of cards, but even this wasn't enough to hold his attention span. He set it aside and sighed, beginning to resent his astoundingly horrible luck.

It took a good portion of the day to get to Resortia, a planet green with well-manicured vegetation. Silvery bodies of liquid, safe for Irken enjoyment, dotted the surface and glimmered with the reflected light of a golden sun. The window interested Yempt once again and he paid close attention as Tah's Voot hovered beneath the tree line. She landed in a particularly dense portion of forest, Yempt assuming she was too paranoid to land in the open. She finally emerged from the cockpit, munching happily on a burrito. Yempt wondered where she'd gotten it, but asked no questions. He merely followed as she opened the ship hatch and hopped outside. As they left Yempt remembered to look at the side of the ship to see what it was called. "I.S.C. Feth Gra?" The name was in ancient Irken, a language Yempt couldn't even begin to comprehend. "I.S.C." he repeated. He glanced up at his companion, who had finished her snack and was now concerned with licking the grease off her brown gloved claws. "I.S.C.? This ship belongs to the Armada?"

Tah gave him a look. "I'm still a soldier - I guess." She didn't seem sure of her status. "I don't get paid enough to have a craft of my own."

"Well," said Yempt reluctantly, "Maybe you are on assignment for the Empire." He said this more to himself than to Tah, and he felt somewhat annoyed when he saw her smile at his admission. He decided to look around a bit - being on Resortia and all. He couldn't help but be disappointed at the thick, almost jungle-like brush around him. "I thought this was supposed to be a resort planet. Where's the resort?"

"I think it's on the other side - I've never been there. There are some private residences around here, and Hotard lives just ahead." Just as Tah had predicted, the forest began to grow tamer, as if it had been manicured into some sort of disorganized garden. There were more flowering plants, and some of the bushes appeared to be haphazardly trimmed. In the distance was a large house-like thing, made of a brownish, muddy substance. Yempt began to seriously question this 'genius's' taste when he caught something in the corner of his eye. He yelped and found himself clinging onto Tah's boot. He repelled off her immediately, but continued to stare into the forest. Just a few meters away was a large - thing. It was simply gigantic - its hunched shoulders almost touching the higher branches of the trees. Its skin reminded Yempt of wrinkled, sagging leather and it had a long, swishing tail that left a clear mark of disarray behind the lumbering thing. He pointed at the thing and gaped, unable to move until Tah's face brightened and she began to approach it. His shoulders slumped - he should've known.

"Hotard, how is your garden today?" called the investigator with a friendly air. The thing turned around and moved its wide mouth into something Yempt assumed was a smile.

"Ser de kontra loo," said the beast with a deep laugh. Yempt perked up his antennae at the language. It sounded like ancient Irken, and he wondered why this - Hotard would know it. "Fra ma la dar'tra bich?" By the tone if its voice, he could almost wear it was teasing Tah.

Tah seemed pleased by whatever the Hotard was saying and responded in the same tongue. "Me shoo gah. Huk'ra feth te liebe ich rak'ra shra. Va bri?"

"Feh." Yempt glowered at the two. Although he had no interest in participating in the conversation, it bothered him to no end that he couldn't at least listen.

As if she could read his thoughts, Tah turned toward him and attempted to clarify things. "His people can't speak the way we do, but he is capable of speaking the ancient. It's the only way to communicate with him."

Yempt didn't care for the excuse. He continued to glare at Hotard as he lumbered his way before him. For a moment he was afraid the creature would walk right over him, but instead it stopped and lowered its withered head to examine him.

"Gra shoo me ra f'thra?"

Tah answered for him, and Yempt guessed she was informing Hotard of his ignorance of the language. He rolled his eyes - of course a waiter wouldn't know it. She then pulled out the piece of paper that had been giving her so much trouble and showed it to the beast. He glanced at it and made a great deal of humming noises, as if he were calculating something in that enormous head of his. He made a clicking sound in his mouth. He asked Tah a question. "Fra te kith pre ich Belthorp?" Tah nodded yes. Hotard mused for a bit and handed the paper back to Tah. "Resh la kipee rish'ra bra prauch te gra re khran'fe. Le pefta kush jemp'ke va doo ha'rew rah. Poe'ech ich va urha ger'ra ser me que'we bra. Kith zat. Zat ra."

Yempt began to seriously wonder what Hotard had said. Tah's expression had visibly changed as she listened: her face had become very pale and she shifted her weight nervously from one foot to the other. A very small smile played on her lips, but her eyes were worried. She gulped and responded. "Gra le feth va Massive tra?"

A laugh rumbled from Hotard's innards. "Te kith rah." He then lowered his head at Yempt in some sort of acknowledgment of his presence and turned back to whatever it was he was doing before - sniffing the flowers perhaps. Tah bowed her head at him and wiggled her antennae before leading Yempt back into the forest.

"You might as well have left me in the ship."

Tah scratched the back of her head, as if she were distracted by some thought. She then realized someone was talking to her and looked down at him. "Heh, well, he's someone worth meeting, really." She looked down at the paper with a new expression and stuffed it back in her pocket. "Hotard, that is..." Her mind seemed to drift.

"Well..?" asked Yempt after a moment of silence.

"Well?" Tah blinked. "Oh, yes! Well." She rubbed her hands together in an unconscious gesture of excitement. "Sorry, I forgot you couldn't understand him. Hotard solved the riddle and told me what the lines meant. He asked me if a Belthorp had been involved and I said yes, so he explained that they have a base ten system of counting. They don't write with letters, but with numbers. There was really no riddle at all - I just never thought it would be in that language. It isn't used much and - you know. I feel kind of dumb."

Yempt couldn't resist. "You should."

Tah bristled, but took the insult in stride. "The word on the paper means Massive. Whoever I'm looking for lives on our very own ship, the Massive. This narrows my search drastically."

Yempt snorted his equivalent to a laugh. "Yeah, you just want to go there so you can see Tallest Purple. Like all the other half-witted females in the Irken Empire you seem to -"

This time he had gone too far. Tah shot a surprisingly ferocious, seething glare in his direction. With one swift move she pulled him up by the collar and held him up to her face, grinding her teeth in anger. "I am NOT one of those nit-wits! I'm not like them! I have a JOB to do and I'm doing it, so you'd better just shut up, you depressing, hate-filled little - gra - rrrr..." She shut her eyes and tensed her muscles, making an obvious effort to restrain herself. She finally took a big breath and set Yempt down. "Sorry there," she said after a moment in a rather subdued voice. She began to walk back to the ship, and Yempt followed shakily in silence.

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Red let out a content growl as he rubbed massaged his body with cleansing calk, letting its rough surface scrap away the day's accumulation of grime. The day had been especially long as there was a lot of boring official business that Purple had insisted just couldn't wait. Even now his friend was still obsessing over the details of some document, making sure every sentence was acceptable. They'd also reviewed some speeches and marked out new planets to conquer, although the latter wasn't necessarily as tedious to Red. He smirked as he looked at his reflection in the mirror - the Irkens were well on their way to universal domination. He gave one satisfied stretch and began to rub the chalk against his shoulder and neck when somebody ran into his cleansing room. Red could only blink in shock as Purple entered, holding the documents he'd been working on in one hand and a pad in the other.

"Tahjustcalledandshesaidshe'salmostdoneandshesaystheguyisontheMassivesoshe'l lhavetocomeandshe'llbeheretomorrowsoweneedtogetourworkdonesoonsowecanseeherb eforeshestartsworkingandshesaysshelooksforwardtoseeingyoutoo,soweneedtogetou rworkdone!" While Purple frantically yelled he waved his arms about with uncharacteristic energy.

Red narrowed his scarlet eyes. "I'm using the cleansing chalk!" he yelled, annoyed. He waved the chalk in the air to emphasize his point.

Purple's eyes widened as he realized his companion was completely nude. He squeaked and hovered away, blurting out some apology. Red stared after him, not really knowing what just happened but finding it hilarious. There was a short pause of silence before he fell over in laughter.