I make it to Central park, and before I get out of the truck I realize that
there are a few phone call that I have to make before it gets too late to
make them... hell it almost already is too late but these are important and
it can't wait for tomorrow. My first call is to Swersky, just because he
is probably just going to bed and I don't want to face his wife's wrath
next time I see her for calling so late. So I take out my cell phone and
go though the directory pausing for a moment on Faith's name, I wonder if
she is still sleeping... I hope so.. she needs it.. any how I find Swersky's
number and hit the "send" button... he picks it up on the second ring..
"Hello?"
"Boss it's Bosco......"
"Bosco? What the hell have you done now.. this had better be good! I was just going to bed"
"Boss it is Faith.. her husband had another heart attack tonight..."
"Oh god... not again... that poor woman.. and after all that she has been through...are you there with her now? How is he?"
"Boss I just left her at Mercy, Fred is dead....she isn't coming in tomorrow for work.. I don't think that she is going to be in at all for the rest of this week and the next.."
"Bosco you tell her that she can take all the time that she needs... and send her my deepest heartfelt sympathies and condolences to the family..."
"Boss, I am also requesting permission to take time off with her, to help her and the kids though this... she isn't in a good way Lieu..."
"By all means Bosco, take what time you need with her, make sure that she is all right.. I will call Sully and Davis.."
"Actually Boss I was going to call them... I think that Faith would have wanted to tell them personally but under the circumstances I think that it coming from her partner instead will have the same meaning.."
"You got it Bosco... Take care of Faith for us.. and make sure that she knows that we are pulling for her here at the house... and to call if she needs anything,. and that's an order!"
"Yes sir!, Thank you sir! I will Sir!... Goodbye Sir!"
"Goodnight Boscorelli"
I call Sully and Ty and both of them and their reactions were the same, both of them offered to help cover our beat, hell we helped cover Sully's when Tatianna died so he was more than willing to help us out a little, both of them of course told me to call them if I needed anything. So with that done I have to go and find Em... I know where she will be if she is indeed there, so I get out of the truck and lock it up making sure that I stick the keys in my pocket, that would be just great locking myself out of my partners truck how the hell would I explain that one!
I start walking though the park and I remember the walks that Faith and I took though here on many a night when we used to pull the first watch. It was a beautiful night with the stars in full scatter, this would have been a good night to just sit here and watch but unfortunately with the circumstances being as they are, I have a promise to keep. I keep walking until I reach the old carousel, I think that they still run it on Sundays in the summer for the kids, I get closer and I see that the door is open a crack and it looks like there is a light on inside. I think that it is Em but I am not sure, it could be just some kids wanting to cause a problem so I look around first to see if there is anything suspicious that attracts my attention, I see nothing so I wander inside...
I take a walk around the carousel, looking at all the horses and animals, you can almost hear the laughter and the squeals of delight that this thing can cause when it is moving.. it is creeping me out.. when I hear a new sound.. I stop in my tracks and listen closer... There it is again... it sounds like someone is sniffling... I know that she is here.. now where is she...
"Em? You here?, Em it's Bosco, if you are here tell me"
I hear no response from her so I keep walking, I almost didn't see her sitting there on the horse..
"Em?" I step up on the carousel and walk towards her... "Here you are.. I thought I might find you here...Em I know what happened...that is why I am here... your mother is in at Mercy, she didn't know where you went.. I told her that I would come and find you..."
She looks at me and she has the same look as her mother... the same pained expression that her mother gave her... Em took after Faith in so many ways.. she may look like Fred, but she has her Mothers eyes, those beautiful eyes that can say so many things to me without saying a word that I can hear. I look into those tear stained eyes now and I see that she is lost... she doesn't know what to do.. where to turn to where to go.. even who to talk to. She finally says something..
"Dad used to take Me and Charlie here every Sunday from the time that I was able to walk until we got too old for it, but even still we kept coming here to see the kids ride it. I used to sit on this horse, this was MY horse, Charlie had that brown one there... and Dad used to stand between both of us, holding Charlie so he wouldn't fall off and smiling back at me...we would ride this thing all afternoon until it was time to go home... we never wanted it to end..."
Her voice trails off and she lets out a little sob.
"Bosco, I don't know what I am going to do... I love my mom, but I am so close with Dad.. I don't think that I can handle another heart attack.. I just don't know if I can do this again.. I don't even know if he is still alive or not...."
Her shoulder start to shake with her sobs and I feel lower than dirt at the moment.. here I was trying to pull her away from all these happy memories.. I needed to get her to her mom.. Faith needed to know that she was all right ... no wait.. Faith needed Em with her.. she needed her kids and I still had to get Charlie from Faith's parents. But right now Em needed me to be there for her.. or at least comfort her...
"Em it is all going to be all right wait and see.. I am not only here for your mother I am here for you too..."
She looked at me with her eyes all tear stained.. "Really, you really mean that Bosco? You are here for me too?"
"Em you know that I am... I always have been" and I pull her into a hug and she cried on my shoulder as I tried to comfort her. I stood there with Em as she cried herself dry on my shoulder, it must have been about half an hour... I told Faith that I would be back in an hour... ohh well when I left her she was pretty dead to the world I doubt that has changed... finally she lifts her head and looks at me.
"How is mom?"
"She is going to be all right Em, I left her sleeping on the couch in the lounge while I promised her that I would return with you guys..."
She sighs (another thing that she inherited from her Mother) and looks at me as she pulls away from my embrace.... Getting down off the horse she looks at me again..
"Well then I guess that we had better get Charlie from Grandma Mitchell"
I just nod as we walk back to the truck, Em sees it and looks at me and then looks back at the truck...
"Why do you have our truck Bosco? Where did you get the keys for it?"
"Em, just get in the truck, I will tell you on the way to get Charlie."
And for the first time tonight I managed to give myself a smile of satisfaction that I at least got one thing done tonight that was going to make Faith happy... I found Emily. I was relieved that she was where I thought she was going to be, if she wasn't there I don't know where I would have gone to look next.. We pull up to Faith's parents place and I tell Em to stay in the truck while I get her brother. I don't even have to ring the doorbell twice tonight, Mona answers it on the first ring. "Bosco?! What happened where is Faith? Why are you here? What happened to Fred? Is he allright?"
"Whoa whoa whoa Mona slow down!!, Faith is at the hospital, I promised her I would get Charlie and Em and meet her back at the hospital where she said that she would call you when she had news about Fred..." all right so a little white lie wasn't going to kill me this time...
Charlie heard my voice as he peeked out from behind the door. Mona opened it for him so he could see who was talking about him.
"Uncle Bosco!" Charlie comes bounding out the door and right into me... good lord that kid always manages to catch me off guard... he lands into me with a small "oof" "Where is Mommy? Are you going to take me to her? Are you going to take me to Daddy?"
I look back at Mona who nods and looks at Charlie
"You behave for Uncle Bosco you hear? Did you put Machu Pichu back in his cage?" Charlie nodded. "All right then get in the truck and wait for Bosco" and I watched as he walked to the truck and climbed in the backseat to talk to Em.
"Bosco what is really going on here... Faith told me that Fred took another heart attack... What happened? Why isn't she here to get the kids?"
"Mona, Fred is dead... he didn't make it this time.. Faith is still at the hospital.. I have already been there with her, I made sure that she was sleeping before I left to get the kids, I am going to bring them back now."
Mona didn't say anything for a moment she just stood there with that look on her face... the look of total shock... and then she finally said something...
"Oh no! my poor Faith... you get those kids to her.... She is going to need them now more than ever and they are going to need her. And tell her not to worry about phone calls.. I will take care of them.. I will be around to see her tomorrow.."
"Thanks Mona I will tell her that, goodnight"
I leave the front porch and climb back into the truck and pull out of the driveway. Em spends the ride looking out the window at the passing scenery and when I look into the rearview mirror I see that Charlie is fast asleep in the backseat, so that is going to make for a very quiet ride back to the hospital... thank god it is.. I don't think that I would be able to take any questions right now.
Finally we get back to Mercy, I find a spot to park the truck (without it getting towed.... that is all that Faith would need tonight.. more hassle) and I wake Charlie up and together Charlie, Emily and I walk into the hospital and head straight towards the lounge. I open the door and Faith isn't there.. the couch is empty... Damn I would have hoped that she was still sleeping..
"Em. You and Charlie wait here, I am going to find your mother."
Emily just nods and Charlie plops into a chair. I wander to the front desk and I ask Mary where she might know where I can find Faith...
"Kim took her to see Fred, She wanted to see for herself so Kim took her.. she has been with her for about ½ an hour now... "
I start walking down the hallway towards the double doors when I see Kim walk out from them, I look at her and I see that she is crying, she doesn't say anything to me as I walk past her but I know that she knows the feeling of loosing someone that you are close to all too well.. she lost Bobby about 3 years ago now... wait it is almost 4 years ago.. those two were practically married... so when Bobby died she tried to commit suicide.. I didn't think that it was possible to love someone that much to kill yourself... but I know that now.. if I ever lost Faith I don't know what I would do.. I think I might have actually contemplated suicide....
I open the doors and there is Faith sitting on a chair beside Fred's body. Dear god it is real... he really is dead... I never really liked the guy anyway but he didn't deserve this.. I guess the reason that I didn't like him all that much is because he had Faith.. he had her in a way that I was jealous of.... But I don't ever think that I would have wanted to see him dead... he made Faith happy... well some of the time... and when she was happy my life could be complete... as long as she was happy I was happy.. and now she is crying her heart out on his chest, trying to come to terms with what happened... she still thinks that life has played a cruel joke on her... and her being this sad is making me unhappy.. it is almost like I can feel her pain.. I want to share this burden with her... I don't want to see her in such pain......
"Ohhh Faith...."
Her crying stops, and she looks up at me with her eyes all red and puffy from crying, I don't think that anything could ever make her look unattractive... because even in that state she looks so beautiful it hurts me to look at her.. I cant stand to see her in this pain.. I don't want her to suffer... if I could take it all I would... I don't even feel the tears that managed to escape my eyes until she stood up and wiped them away with her Kleenex. I can't add to her pain by letting her see me cry so I turn my face away from hers gently.
"I'm sorry Faith... I didn't mean to make you feel worse.. I just can't stand seeing you in such pain..."
She doesn't say anything, she just lays her head on my shoulder, I wrap my arms around her, under other circumstances I would be fighting very hard to keep myself from telling her everything... how I felt about her, how long I have loved her for, everything. But right now it is all that I can do just to keep composure..
"I found Em... she was exactly where I thought she would be... I found her in Central Park... right by the old carousel... she said that Fred used to take her there all the time when she and Charlie were little..."
I feel her breath a sigh of relief... her sighs always have some profound effect on me..
"Did you tell them?"
"No I thought it would be best that you did that..."
Well I had better get this over with... we were going to have a long night ahead of us with telling the kids that they no longer have a father.. I think that has to be the toughest thing I will ever have to do, tell my kids that daddy is deceased.
"Do you want me to come with you when you tell the kids?"
"Bosco I can't do this on my own... I just can't do it on my own......"
I help turn her away from Fred... she wants to stay but she still has her kids to tell the news too.. and I will be there for them all.... I put my arm around her shoulders and lead her down the hall towards the double doors. And I hold her tightly and try to give her all the support that I possibly can. Before we walk though the doors and into the public area of the ER I turn to Faith and look her right in the eyes.. being partners for as long as we have... we can talk without speaking we have such a close relationship the look in her eyes nearly kills me when I send her all the strength that I can muster up in my gaze.
"It will be all right Faith... I will be by your side though this.. I am not going anywhere...but right now you have to tell the kids what happened.. poor Em is beside herself..."
And we went off to tell the kids the hardest news that they would ever have to hear. But as I promised, we would do it together...
"Hello?"
"Boss it's Bosco......"
"Bosco? What the hell have you done now.. this had better be good! I was just going to bed"
"Boss it is Faith.. her husband had another heart attack tonight..."
"Oh god... not again... that poor woman.. and after all that she has been through...are you there with her now? How is he?"
"Boss I just left her at Mercy, Fred is dead....she isn't coming in tomorrow for work.. I don't think that she is going to be in at all for the rest of this week and the next.."
"Bosco you tell her that she can take all the time that she needs... and send her my deepest heartfelt sympathies and condolences to the family..."
"Boss, I am also requesting permission to take time off with her, to help her and the kids though this... she isn't in a good way Lieu..."
"By all means Bosco, take what time you need with her, make sure that she is all right.. I will call Sully and Davis.."
"Actually Boss I was going to call them... I think that Faith would have wanted to tell them personally but under the circumstances I think that it coming from her partner instead will have the same meaning.."
"You got it Bosco... Take care of Faith for us.. and make sure that she knows that we are pulling for her here at the house... and to call if she needs anything,. and that's an order!"
"Yes sir!, Thank you sir! I will Sir!... Goodbye Sir!"
"Goodnight Boscorelli"
I call Sully and Ty and both of them and their reactions were the same, both of them offered to help cover our beat, hell we helped cover Sully's when Tatianna died so he was more than willing to help us out a little, both of them of course told me to call them if I needed anything. So with that done I have to go and find Em... I know where she will be if she is indeed there, so I get out of the truck and lock it up making sure that I stick the keys in my pocket, that would be just great locking myself out of my partners truck how the hell would I explain that one!
I start walking though the park and I remember the walks that Faith and I took though here on many a night when we used to pull the first watch. It was a beautiful night with the stars in full scatter, this would have been a good night to just sit here and watch but unfortunately with the circumstances being as they are, I have a promise to keep. I keep walking until I reach the old carousel, I think that they still run it on Sundays in the summer for the kids, I get closer and I see that the door is open a crack and it looks like there is a light on inside. I think that it is Em but I am not sure, it could be just some kids wanting to cause a problem so I look around first to see if there is anything suspicious that attracts my attention, I see nothing so I wander inside...
I take a walk around the carousel, looking at all the horses and animals, you can almost hear the laughter and the squeals of delight that this thing can cause when it is moving.. it is creeping me out.. when I hear a new sound.. I stop in my tracks and listen closer... There it is again... it sounds like someone is sniffling... I know that she is here.. now where is she...
"Em? You here?, Em it's Bosco, if you are here tell me"
I hear no response from her so I keep walking, I almost didn't see her sitting there on the horse..
"Em?" I step up on the carousel and walk towards her... "Here you are.. I thought I might find you here...Em I know what happened...that is why I am here... your mother is in at Mercy, she didn't know where you went.. I told her that I would come and find you..."
She looks at me and she has the same look as her mother... the same pained expression that her mother gave her... Em took after Faith in so many ways.. she may look like Fred, but she has her Mothers eyes, those beautiful eyes that can say so many things to me without saying a word that I can hear. I look into those tear stained eyes now and I see that she is lost... she doesn't know what to do.. where to turn to where to go.. even who to talk to. She finally says something..
"Dad used to take Me and Charlie here every Sunday from the time that I was able to walk until we got too old for it, but even still we kept coming here to see the kids ride it. I used to sit on this horse, this was MY horse, Charlie had that brown one there... and Dad used to stand between both of us, holding Charlie so he wouldn't fall off and smiling back at me...we would ride this thing all afternoon until it was time to go home... we never wanted it to end..."
Her voice trails off and she lets out a little sob.
"Bosco, I don't know what I am going to do... I love my mom, but I am so close with Dad.. I don't think that I can handle another heart attack.. I just don't know if I can do this again.. I don't even know if he is still alive or not...."
Her shoulder start to shake with her sobs and I feel lower than dirt at the moment.. here I was trying to pull her away from all these happy memories.. I needed to get her to her mom.. Faith needed to know that she was all right ... no wait.. Faith needed Em with her.. she needed her kids and I still had to get Charlie from Faith's parents. But right now Em needed me to be there for her.. or at least comfort her...
"Em it is all going to be all right wait and see.. I am not only here for your mother I am here for you too..."
She looked at me with her eyes all tear stained.. "Really, you really mean that Bosco? You are here for me too?"
"Em you know that I am... I always have been" and I pull her into a hug and she cried on my shoulder as I tried to comfort her. I stood there with Em as she cried herself dry on my shoulder, it must have been about half an hour... I told Faith that I would be back in an hour... ohh well when I left her she was pretty dead to the world I doubt that has changed... finally she lifts her head and looks at me.
"How is mom?"
"She is going to be all right Em, I left her sleeping on the couch in the lounge while I promised her that I would return with you guys..."
She sighs (another thing that she inherited from her Mother) and looks at me as she pulls away from my embrace.... Getting down off the horse she looks at me again..
"Well then I guess that we had better get Charlie from Grandma Mitchell"
I just nod as we walk back to the truck, Em sees it and looks at me and then looks back at the truck...
"Why do you have our truck Bosco? Where did you get the keys for it?"
"Em, just get in the truck, I will tell you on the way to get Charlie."
And for the first time tonight I managed to give myself a smile of satisfaction that I at least got one thing done tonight that was going to make Faith happy... I found Emily. I was relieved that she was where I thought she was going to be, if she wasn't there I don't know where I would have gone to look next.. We pull up to Faith's parents place and I tell Em to stay in the truck while I get her brother. I don't even have to ring the doorbell twice tonight, Mona answers it on the first ring. "Bosco?! What happened where is Faith? Why are you here? What happened to Fred? Is he allright?"
"Whoa whoa whoa Mona slow down!!, Faith is at the hospital, I promised her I would get Charlie and Em and meet her back at the hospital where she said that she would call you when she had news about Fred..." all right so a little white lie wasn't going to kill me this time...
Charlie heard my voice as he peeked out from behind the door. Mona opened it for him so he could see who was talking about him.
"Uncle Bosco!" Charlie comes bounding out the door and right into me... good lord that kid always manages to catch me off guard... he lands into me with a small "oof" "Where is Mommy? Are you going to take me to her? Are you going to take me to Daddy?"
I look back at Mona who nods and looks at Charlie
"You behave for Uncle Bosco you hear? Did you put Machu Pichu back in his cage?" Charlie nodded. "All right then get in the truck and wait for Bosco" and I watched as he walked to the truck and climbed in the backseat to talk to Em.
"Bosco what is really going on here... Faith told me that Fred took another heart attack... What happened? Why isn't she here to get the kids?"
"Mona, Fred is dead... he didn't make it this time.. Faith is still at the hospital.. I have already been there with her, I made sure that she was sleeping before I left to get the kids, I am going to bring them back now."
Mona didn't say anything for a moment she just stood there with that look on her face... the look of total shock... and then she finally said something...
"Oh no! my poor Faith... you get those kids to her.... She is going to need them now more than ever and they are going to need her. And tell her not to worry about phone calls.. I will take care of them.. I will be around to see her tomorrow.."
"Thanks Mona I will tell her that, goodnight"
I leave the front porch and climb back into the truck and pull out of the driveway. Em spends the ride looking out the window at the passing scenery and when I look into the rearview mirror I see that Charlie is fast asleep in the backseat, so that is going to make for a very quiet ride back to the hospital... thank god it is.. I don't think that I would be able to take any questions right now.
Finally we get back to Mercy, I find a spot to park the truck (without it getting towed.... that is all that Faith would need tonight.. more hassle) and I wake Charlie up and together Charlie, Emily and I walk into the hospital and head straight towards the lounge. I open the door and Faith isn't there.. the couch is empty... Damn I would have hoped that she was still sleeping..
"Em. You and Charlie wait here, I am going to find your mother."
Emily just nods and Charlie plops into a chair. I wander to the front desk and I ask Mary where she might know where I can find Faith...
"Kim took her to see Fred, She wanted to see for herself so Kim took her.. she has been with her for about ½ an hour now... "
I start walking down the hallway towards the double doors when I see Kim walk out from them, I look at her and I see that she is crying, she doesn't say anything to me as I walk past her but I know that she knows the feeling of loosing someone that you are close to all too well.. she lost Bobby about 3 years ago now... wait it is almost 4 years ago.. those two were practically married... so when Bobby died she tried to commit suicide.. I didn't think that it was possible to love someone that much to kill yourself... but I know that now.. if I ever lost Faith I don't know what I would do.. I think I might have actually contemplated suicide....
I open the doors and there is Faith sitting on a chair beside Fred's body. Dear god it is real... he really is dead... I never really liked the guy anyway but he didn't deserve this.. I guess the reason that I didn't like him all that much is because he had Faith.. he had her in a way that I was jealous of.... But I don't ever think that I would have wanted to see him dead... he made Faith happy... well some of the time... and when she was happy my life could be complete... as long as she was happy I was happy.. and now she is crying her heart out on his chest, trying to come to terms with what happened... she still thinks that life has played a cruel joke on her... and her being this sad is making me unhappy.. it is almost like I can feel her pain.. I want to share this burden with her... I don't want to see her in such pain......
"Ohhh Faith...."
Her crying stops, and she looks up at me with her eyes all red and puffy from crying, I don't think that anything could ever make her look unattractive... because even in that state she looks so beautiful it hurts me to look at her.. I cant stand to see her in this pain.. I don't want her to suffer... if I could take it all I would... I don't even feel the tears that managed to escape my eyes until she stood up and wiped them away with her Kleenex. I can't add to her pain by letting her see me cry so I turn my face away from hers gently.
"I'm sorry Faith... I didn't mean to make you feel worse.. I just can't stand seeing you in such pain..."
She doesn't say anything, she just lays her head on my shoulder, I wrap my arms around her, under other circumstances I would be fighting very hard to keep myself from telling her everything... how I felt about her, how long I have loved her for, everything. But right now it is all that I can do just to keep composure..
"I found Em... she was exactly where I thought she would be... I found her in Central Park... right by the old carousel... she said that Fred used to take her there all the time when she and Charlie were little..."
I feel her breath a sigh of relief... her sighs always have some profound effect on me..
"Did you tell them?"
"No I thought it would be best that you did that..."
Well I had better get this over with... we were going to have a long night ahead of us with telling the kids that they no longer have a father.. I think that has to be the toughest thing I will ever have to do, tell my kids that daddy is deceased.
"Do you want me to come with you when you tell the kids?"
"Bosco I can't do this on my own... I just can't do it on my own......"
I help turn her away from Fred... she wants to stay but she still has her kids to tell the news too.. and I will be there for them all.... I put my arm around her shoulders and lead her down the hall towards the double doors. And I hold her tightly and try to give her all the support that I possibly can. Before we walk though the doors and into the public area of the ER I turn to Faith and look her right in the eyes.. being partners for as long as we have... we can talk without speaking we have such a close relationship the look in her eyes nearly kills me when I send her all the strength that I can muster up in my gaze.
"It will be all right Faith... I will be by your side though this.. I am not going anywhere...but right now you have to tell the kids what happened.. poor Em is beside herself..."
And we went off to tell the kids the hardest news that they would ever have to hear. But as I promised, we would do it together...