My heart was pounding in my chest as I opened the door to the bathroom...
Bosco had given me a key to his apartment the day I moved into mine just
incase I needed anything and he wasn't home to give it to me... Well I was
cleaning up the bedroom and getting ready to take a shower myself when I
noticed that Bosco's watch still was sitting on the vanity table.. he took
it off so he wouldn't get paint on it.. I don't know what it is about this
watch but he loves it... I know that he was coming back to my apartment soon
but I couldn't wait... Well since he told me that he loved me it was like a
dam broke inside me.. I loved him too... I just didn't realize how much I did
until he confessed.. now I don't think that I want to be apart from him...
not now.. not ever... I still think that it is too soon for me to get married
again.. I still have a little hesitation there.. it feels like I am still
torn between him and Fred.... and Fred has been gone now for 6 months... it
will be 7 in two weeks.. I just feel like I betrayed him.. but on the other
hand Bosco was there for me.. he caught me when I fell.. literally.. he was
there for me when I needed him most and with him I felt something that I
never felt with Fred.... the feeling that I am truly loved back.. and the
feeling that he would do anything for me..
I walk into his apartment and I hear the shower going.. he hasn't heard me enter the apartment.. I don't know what the hell has possessed me... all I know is that I am walking towards the bathroom door.. I notice that it is slightly open.. well I needed a shower and this was as good a time as any... so I started taking off my clothes.. and I walk into the room.. Bosco is washing his hair as I pull back the curtain... he jumps three feet in the air with a "YAAAA" and then he realizes that it is me... and then he realizes that I am not wearing anything... and then his look changed... like this was the first time he has seen me naked... well it is the second time... but his eyes glaze over and then he smiles at me as I climb into the tub with him...
"Faith... what are you.....?"
"Shhhhh Boz I don't know why I am here... but I know that I had to be... that and you forgot your watch in my apartment... but I wasn't expecting to be doing this..."
I watch Bosco's gaze move up and down my body as he runs his hand over my shoulder and down my arm to rest on my waist... I have never done this with Fred... sure we shared baths together but we never took a shower together... I would have to admit I think that I am liking this more... it makes a difference with the water running over us...
"Faith you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen..."
I blush and look down.. hoping he thinks that it is the heat of the shower that is making me go red...
"Faith I mean it... there is no need to blush like that"
He comes closer to me and reaches for my face with his free hand.. I am starting to feel all tingly all over... I love this feeling.. I don't think that I have ever felt this way... and I am liking it.. he doesn't say anything else.. he just leans into my face and kisses me and I feel myself melt away as I return the kiss... it isn't as passionate as the ones that we were sharing back in my apartment but I still felt a little light headed.. I am going to have to get used to this.. I never felt this way with Fred...
"Faith?"
"Yes Boz?"
"If we are going to start seeing each other.. you know romantically.. what are we going to tell the kids..."
"I think that Em knows... she has always had some suspicion that we were more than friends.. she gave me a look before I left the apartment... it was like she knew...Charlie I don't know what I am going to tell him... but I think that they aren't going to mind I mean we have been together for so long... and now with Fred gone..."
Bosco smiles at me... I don't think that I have ever felt complete like this... Until Bosco had confessed to me last night.. I don't think that I would have confessed to myself that I love him back.. it just never occurred to me that I felt this way about him. I was always worried about the kids and Fred.. now I can love him without feeling guilty about it.
"Well when do you think it would be a good time to tell them about us?"
"How about tomorrow night when both of them are home"
"That sounds good to me..."
I smile and hug him, and then I notice that I left a teal streak across his chest from where my forehead was... I was still covered in paint... he looked down and then looked at me and we both laughed...
"I guess I should either wash up, or go upstairs to my place and take a shower then..."
"Well you are already here...."
Bosco takes his hand away from my waist and grabs the bottle body wash that he has on the side of the tub and hands it to me after taking some himself... I love the smell of this stuff.. he just started using it and already I love it.. I squeeze some into my hand and start washing the paint off my body..
"Boz.." I hand him back the bottle and turn around "Can you get my back.. there may be some that I missed... I didn't realize how much paint got on me...."
He doesn't say anything but I feel his hands caress my back gently scrubbing off dried on paint...I close my eyes and relish the this feeling I can only imagine how hard he is fighting for a sense of self control as I reach for the shampoo to wash my hair..
After the shooting, Bosco was wracked with guilt... the guilt that he should have taken that bullet for me.. the guilt that he was the reason that I was in that infernal room.. and as he ran his hands over my body, washing away the paint I felt his hand hesitate over that spot... the spot where I sported the scar from that evening.. I felt him take a deep breath in and then slowly exhale it... I turned around to face him.. he was looking at it.. and I am sure that that wasn't water from the showerhead in his eyes as he looked at me because he looked like the kid who just got caught stealing candy...
"Bosco... I wanted to be there for you.. this wasn't your fault... it was mine... I never blamed you for anything that happened that night... you were brainwashed by that bitch..."
"Faith I am still so sorry for what happened though.. I can't get over this... I just cant.. I don't think that I can ever forgive myself for what I did to you... when you were shot I couldn't think of anything else... I was worried that you might hate me after.. and I was willing to take that.. I deserved it.. you know that I would do anything for you Faith.. you have always been there for me.. you are the only one that I can tell everything to.."
His voice trailed off and he looked down.. I couldn't stand to see him wracked with such guilt so I place both of my hands on his face and pulled up so he was looking at me in the eyes...
"Boz, Know this.. I would die for you... and I trust you with everything... when I went into that hotel room that night I knew what I was doing... if anything this is my fault because I wasn't wearing my vest... I should have put it on before I left.."
Bosco says nothing he just pulls me into his embrace again... finally I heard his voice.. barely above a whisper in my ear....
"When I saw you on the ground.. and I saw that you had been shot.. I lost it Faith.. I did everything that I could to keep you with me... I saw that you shot Cruz... I would have taken the blame for it but you took responsibility for it... but I didn't care about that.. I just was so scared when I saw you there... I thought that I was going to loose you forever... before I got the chance to tell you everything... before I got the chance to confess how I felt....."
His voice trailed off again and he just held me tighter... I felt his body shake softly with unspoken guilt.. Bosco has only done this one other time... when he needed to talk to someone about what was bothering him... he came to me.. I should have seen it then. That he loved me enough to come to me when he needed someone to talk to... we trust each other with our darkest secrets... I would trust him with everything that I had and then some... and now he is crying on my shoulder again.. I wish that he could understand... I wish that he could understand that what happened wasn't his fault.. I wanted to be there.. I wanted to take down that bitch as much as he had... I would go to the ends of the earth with this man....
The water started getting cold and Bosco straightened up and turned slightly to turn it off... I still clung to his chest wanting to be there for him.. wanting to make my feelings known.. that this wasn't his fault.
"Bosco......" I placed my hands on his face again and led him to my face.... "I love you"
And with that said I kissed him... it was just a light kiss on the mouth our lips just brushed each other gently... and still I felt that electric shock roll though me as if I had touched fire... Bosco moaned slightly under my mouth and wrapped his arms around my waist.. I felt him pull me closer to him... I felt the water drip off of his hair onto my face as we opened our eyes and held the kiss.... and then I felt my knees get weak.... Bosco was the one that broke the kiss...
"Faith....I love you.. I will love you until the day I die..."
I leaned against his chest and sighed.. I have never felt loved like this... Fred loved me and I loved him.. but we were young when we got married... I was young and pregnant with Em when we got married.. I didn't even know what I was doing.. Fred was taking responsibility for his baby and he married me... Bosco and I were a different story... we have spent the last 12 years talking to each other about everything and anything... I knew him better than I know myself.. and he knows everything about me... he knows that when I have something that is bothering me I have a twitch in my eye... and I know that when he is jonesing for Empire Schezuan Green Jade Chicken not to stand in his way...
"I love you too Boz..."
I broke away from him and grabbed the towels off the rack and handed him one as I wrapped the other around me... he smiled and wrapped the other one around his waist.. I dried off quickly and I felt Bosco behind me.. he leaned over and put his head on my neck, I reached behind and ran my fingers though his hair. I am experiencing a feeling of total bliss standing here with him... I turn around and touch his face gently.. I didn't even feel the tears run over my eyes.. but Bosco was there to wipe them away...I just wrapped my arms around him and held him close.. then I realized the time.. it was almost 8:30... I caught site of the clock in the hall in the bathroom mirror...
"Boz.. we have to get back upstairs... I have to get that bedroom back together if I am going to sleep there tonight..."
He sighs against my shoulder and kisses me one more time before I watch him plod into his room and fish out some sweats... I smile softly to myself as he comes back with a pair for me.. I forgot to bring clothes down with me.. but then again I wasn't thinking straight in the first place..
"Thanks Boz.." I take them from him and slip into them.. man they even smell like him.. and then we leave his apartment and climb the two flights of stairs to get to mine.. when we get there Charlie is curled up watching TV and Em is gone... I figured that she left for the movie.. Charlie looks up at us and smiles..
"Mommy I had a great time!! Joseph got a new bunny, it is black and white with pink on its ears.. it was cute.." he looks at Bosco and waves "Hi Uncle Bosco"
"Hey Champ, I am glad to hear you had fun with your friend, your mom and I have to go and put her bedroom back together now but I will watch that Challenge show with you later.. it is on in ½ an hour right?"
Charlie thinks about it for a second and grins from ear to ear.. "Yeah that Japanese one right? The one that you think is funny..."
Bosco laughs and nods at him and we head off into the bedroom, I turn on the lights and check the walls.. they are all dry.. thank god for quick dry paint. Between Boz and I we have the room back to normal in no time at all.. the Bed was the only thing that remained.. honestly I was so damn tired I was tempted to leave it there in the middle of the room. Bosco must have read my mind because he looked at me and flopped down on the bed...
"Faith I am too damn tired to move this back"
I flop down on the other side.. our heads meeting in the middle..
"I hear that one... I am too tired to move another thing around... why don't we do this tomorrow..."
"Sounds good to me.. I am going to go and watch TV with Charlie for a while..."
"All right I will probably grab a small nap if I can... this room looks great now that it has some colour on the walls..."
"You know I didn't like this colour before but now it is starting to grow on me..."
He gets up and leaves the room but not before planting a kiss on my mouth and telling me that he loved me... I slipped off into a peaceful slumber listening to Bosco and Charlie laugh at that stupid show that they like to watch together...
I walk into his apartment and I hear the shower going.. he hasn't heard me enter the apartment.. I don't know what the hell has possessed me... all I know is that I am walking towards the bathroom door.. I notice that it is slightly open.. well I needed a shower and this was as good a time as any... so I started taking off my clothes.. and I walk into the room.. Bosco is washing his hair as I pull back the curtain... he jumps three feet in the air with a "YAAAA" and then he realizes that it is me... and then he realizes that I am not wearing anything... and then his look changed... like this was the first time he has seen me naked... well it is the second time... but his eyes glaze over and then he smiles at me as I climb into the tub with him...
"Faith... what are you.....?"
"Shhhhh Boz I don't know why I am here... but I know that I had to be... that and you forgot your watch in my apartment... but I wasn't expecting to be doing this..."
I watch Bosco's gaze move up and down my body as he runs his hand over my shoulder and down my arm to rest on my waist... I have never done this with Fred... sure we shared baths together but we never took a shower together... I would have to admit I think that I am liking this more... it makes a difference with the water running over us...
"Faith you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen..."
I blush and look down.. hoping he thinks that it is the heat of the shower that is making me go red...
"Faith I mean it... there is no need to blush like that"
He comes closer to me and reaches for my face with his free hand.. I am starting to feel all tingly all over... I love this feeling.. I don't think that I have ever felt this way... and I am liking it.. he doesn't say anything else.. he just leans into my face and kisses me and I feel myself melt away as I return the kiss... it isn't as passionate as the ones that we were sharing back in my apartment but I still felt a little light headed.. I am going to have to get used to this.. I never felt this way with Fred...
"Faith?"
"Yes Boz?"
"If we are going to start seeing each other.. you know romantically.. what are we going to tell the kids..."
"I think that Em knows... she has always had some suspicion that we were more than friends.. she gave me a look before I left the apartment... it was like she knew...Charlie I don't know what I am going to tell him... but I think that they aren't going to mind I mean we have been together for so long... and now with Fred gone..."
Bosco smiles at me... I don't think that I have ever felt complete like this... Until Bosco had confessed to me last night.. I don't think that I would have confessed to myself that I love him back.. it just never occurred to me that I felt this way about him. I was always worried about the kids and Fred.. now I can love him without feeling guilty about it.
"Well when do you think it would be a good time to tell them about us?"
"How about tomorrow night when both of them are home"
"That sounds good to me..."
I smile and hug him, and then I notice that I left a teal streak across his chest from where my forehead was... I was still covered in paint... he looked down and then looked at me and we both laughed...
"I guess I should either wash up, or go upstairs to my place and take a shower then..."
"Well you are already here...."
Bosco takes his hand away from my waist and grabs the bottle body wash that he has on the side of the tub and hands it to me after taking some himself... I love the smell of this stuff.. he just started using it and already I love it.. I squeeze some into my hand and start washing the paint off my body..
"Boz.." I hand him back the bottle and turn around "Can you get my back.. there may be some that I missed... I didn't realize how much paint got on me...."
He doesn't say anything but I feel his hands caress my back gently scrubbing off dried on paint...I close my eyes and relish the this feeling I can only imagine how hard he is fighting for a sense of self control as I reach for the shampoo to wash my hair..
After the shooting, Bosco was wracked with guilt... the guilt that he should have taken that bullet for me.. the guilt that he was the reason that I was in that infernal room.. and as he ran his hands over my body, washing away the paint I felt his hand hesitate over that spot... the spot where I sported the scar from that evening.. I felt him take a deep breath in and then slowly exhale it... I turned around to face him.. he was looking at it.. and I am sure that that wasn't water from the showerhead in his eyes as he looked at me because he looked like the kid who just got caught stealing candy...
"Bosco... I wanted to be there for you.. this wasn't your fault... it was mine... I never blamed you for anything that happened that night... you were brainwashed by that bitch..."
"Faith I am still so sorry for what happened though.. I can't get over this... I just cant.. I don't think that I can ever forgive myself for what I did to you... when you were shot I couldn't think of anything else... I was worried that you might hate me after.. and I was willing to take that.. I deserved it.. you know that I would do anything for you Faith.. you have always been there for me.. you are the only one that I can tell everything to.."
His voice trailed off and he looked down.. I couldn't stand to see him wracked with such guilt so I place both of my hands on his face and pulled up so he was looking at me in the eyes...
"Boz, Know this.. I would die for you... and I trust you with everything... when I went into that hotel room that night I knew what I was doing... if anything this is my fault because I wasn't wearing my vest... I should have put it on before I left.."
Bosco says nothing he just pulls me into his embrace again... finally I heard his voice.. barely above a whisper in my ear....
"When I saw you on the ground.. and I saw that you had been shot.. I lost it Faith.. I did everything that I could to keep you with me... I saw that you shot Cruz... I would have taken the blame for it but you took responsibility for it... but I didn't care about that.. I just was so scared when I saw you there... I thought that I was going to loose you forever... before I got the chance to tell you everything... before I got the chance to confess how I felt....."
His voice trailed off again and he just held me tighter... I felt his body shake softly with unspoken guilt.. Bosco has only done this one other time... when he needed to talk to someone about what was bothering him... he came to me.. I should have seen it then. That he loved me enough to come to me when he needed someone to talk to... we trust each other with our darkest secrets... I would trust him with everything that I had and then some... and now he is crying on my shoulder again.. I wish that he could understand... I wish that he could understand that what happened wasn't his fault.. I wanted to be there.. I wanted to take down that bitch as much as he had... I would go to the ends of the earth with this man....
The water started getting cold and Bosco straightened up and turned slightly to turn it off... I still clung to his chest wanting to be there for him.. wanting to make my feelings known.. that this wasn't his fault.
"Bosco......" I placed my hands on his face again and led him to my face.... "I love you"
And with that said I kissed him... it was just a light kiss on the mouth our lips just brushed each other gently... and still I felt that electric shock roll though me as if I had touched fire... Bosco moaned slightly under my mouth and wrapped his arms around my waist.. I felt him pull me closer to him... I felt the water drip off of his hair onto my face as we opened our eyes and held the kiss.... and then I felt my knees get weak.... Bosco was the one that broke the kiss...
"Faith....I love you.. I will love you until the day I die..."
I leaned against his chest and sighed.. I have never felt loved like this... Fred loved me and I loved him.. but we were young when we got married... I was young and pregnant with Em when we got married.. I didn't even know what I was doing.. Fred was taking responsibility for his baby and he married me... Bosco and I were a different story... we have spent the last 12 years talking to each other about everything and anything... I knew him better than I know myself.. and he knows everything about me... he knows that when I have something that is bothering me I have a twitch in my eye... and I know that when he is jonesing for Empire Schezuan Green Jade Chicken not to stand in his way...
"I love you too Boz..."
I broke away from him and grabbed the towels off the rack and handed him one as I wrapped the other around me... he smiled and wrapped the other one around his waist.. I dried off quickly and I felt Bosco behind me.. he leaned over and put his head on my neck, I reached behind and ran my fingers though his hair. I am experiencing a feeling of total bliss standing here with him... I turn around and touch his face gently.. I didn't even feel the tears run over my eyes.. but Bosco was there to wipe them away...I just wrapped my arms around him and held him close.. then I realized the time.. it was almost 8:30... I caught site of the clock in the hall in the bathroom mirror...
"Boz.. we have to get back upstairs... I have to get that bedroom back together if I am going to sleep there tonight..."
He sighs against my shoulder and kisses me one more time before I watch him plod into his room and fish out some sweats... I smile softly to myself as he comes back with a pair for me.. I forgot to bring clothes down with me.. but then again I wasn't thinking straight in the first place..
"Thanks Boz.." I take them from him and slip into them.. man they even smell like him.. and then we leave his apartment and climb the two flights of stairs to get to mine.. when we get there Charlie is curled up watching TV and Em is gone... I figured that she left for the movie.. Charlie looks up at us and smiles..
"Mommy I had a great time!! Joseph got a new bunny, it is black and white with pink on its ears.. it was cute.." he looks at Bosco and waves "Hi Uncle Bosco"
"Hey Champ, I am glad to hear you had fun with your friend, your mom and I have to go and put her bedroom back together now but I will watch that Challenge show with you later.. it is on in ½ an hour right?"
Charlie thinks about it for a second and grins from ear to ear.. "Yeah that Japanese one right? The one that you think is funny..."
Bosco laughs and nods at him and we head off into the bedroom, I turn on the lights and check the walls.. they are all dry.. thank god for quick dry paint. Between Boz and I we have the room back to normal in no time at all.. the Bed was the only thing that remained.. honestly I was so damn tired I was tempted to leave it there in the middle of the room. Bosco must have read my mind because he looked at me and flopped down on the bed...
"Faith I am too damn tired to move this back"
I flop down on the other side.. our heads meeting in the middle..
"I hear that one... I am too tired to move another thing around... why don't we do this tomorrow..."
"Sounds good to me.. I am going to go and watch TV with Charlie for a while..."
"All right I will probably grab a small nap if I can... this room looks great now that it has some colour on the walls..."
"You know I didn't like this colour before but now it is starting to grow on me..."
He gets up and leaves the room but not before planting a kiss on my mouth and telling me that he loved me... I slipped off into a peaceful slumber listening to Bosco and Charlie laugh at that stupid show that they like to watch together...