Oh no, this was not good. This was definitely not good. What was I supposed
to say?
'It's a simple yes or no question. I think you can handle it.'
That was what she thought, but if she was in my shoes, I think she would be falling down a cliff by now.
'Was that a yes or a no?'
God, I didn't know! There was the fact that I had to leave. What about my family? Well it was true I didn't really like them, but did I hate them enough to leave them forever? Contrariwise, I didn't want to go. I didn't have enough time here yet with Legolas! I couldn't just leave him dangling on a string that was going to snap any moment. What to do? What to do? I thought I just called for help. Answer!
'What does your heart tell you?'
Was that supposed to be a difficult question?
'Challenging enough for your heart to do the answering. What does it say?'
To stay.
'Then I think you know what to do.'
She agreed that I should stay? Something was wrong.
'There is nothing wrong. You want to spend more time with Legolas. That is understandable. You can always leave later, but I want you to know it's going to hurt. I mean a lot! Choose carefully. And there is also the matter of your attitude.'
I remember! I know it was going to hurt even more for me if I left right then. I chose to stay. I had better say it before I changed my mind. "Yes."
"Pardon? Was that a yes to living here or yes to leaving?" Elrond looked at me, but I saw in his eyes that he already knew my answer.
"Yes to staying." I finalized. I felt Legolas' strong arms wrap around me into a tight hug. He kissed me on the cheek. I smiled at him but not all a real one.
"Then it is settled. Arwen, perhaps you could accompany Jocelyn to her new room." Elrond requested, looking up behind him. They lady nodded her head. "We should all retire to our chambers, but Legolas you stay." He held back, "I need a word with you. You may go." Elrond dismissed me. I gave Legolas a final glance and walked out the door with Arwen behind me.
~*~
I kept silent, waiting for Arwen to lead the way. I didn't feel all confident about my decision. How long was I planning to stay? What if I didn't want to leave when it was time to go? Questions of doubt swarmed my mind.
"I can tell Legolas is not lying." Arwen interrupted my thoughts.
"Lying about what?" I was now walking side by side with her.
"This relationship. He is true to you. His love." She did not turn to look at me.
I wasn't sure what to say so I said thank you awkwardly.
"You must be strong, for the both of you." She continued, "You have to fight."
"I don't think I quite get you." I said, confused. There was fighting required?
"You never thought about it, did you?" This time, she made eye contact with me.
"Well yes, but I never knew we had to fight. Against what?"
Arwen shook her head. "He is immortal and what of you?"
Oh shit.
"Did you ever think about what would happen to him if you died?"
My face dropped to the ground. I felt ashamed for need of her to tell me this. Why didn't that ever occur to me? "Well, I guess it's a good thing that I wouldn't be here long enough to let him see me die." I said, attempting to turn the situation into a joke.
"Pardon? Do you mean to say you are planning to leave even when you said to Legolas you would stay? You are lying to him while he is being true to you? How can a relationship continue between a couple when one of them is not trustworthy?"
I covered my mouth in shock. Did I just spill out everything to her? Was she saying this out so loud that anyone in a radius of 50 meters could hear her? I swear she did that on purpose. I used my remaining hand to cover her mouth, but she didn't stop there. "Could we possibly discuss this quietly and privately in my room?"
Arwen glared at me slightly and continued on her way. The rest of the walking was silent. She started to question me once again when the door to my new room was closed shut.
"Are you going to tell him soon or just leave whenever? Does anyone else know this? What is your purpose here?"
"Look," I stopped her before she could annoy me anymore, "this is just as hard for me as it is on Legolas. I can tell you that I am not all happy about having to leave. You won't understand. I don't really understand completely myself." I slumped down onto the bed. It was so soft I almost slid off it. So that was how they treated guests; by giving them hard beds.
"Explain it to me, then. Make me understand." Arwen sat down on a chair across from me.
"It's a long story." I tried to swerve out of it.
"I have time. No need to hurry." She seemed to settle herself comfortably into the chair.
I sighed and launched into my epic adventure of traveling to Rivendell. Twice Arwen stopped me with questions about Legolas' injury and Mr. Bugspan. I sighed again to conclude my tale.
"Are you telling me you are not from Middle Earth, but that you fell from the sky? Excuse me, but I think it is getting late. I better return to my quarters. Good night." She said this all in a hurry and rushed out the door.
"I didn't exactly fall from the sky... Oh, what's the use?" I guess my story wasn't as easy to take in as I thought. I have had a lot to do today. Rest was what I needed right now. Without changing and without another thought, I climbed under the sheets. Sleep soon drifted on my eyelids.
~*~
Another five days passed with me trying to act normal around Legolas and Arwen avoiding me. I started to notice that Lord Elrond was looking at me suspiciously. Maybe Arwen told him my story. What if he thought I was some kind of elf-eating alien and sent me away?! But then again I was leaving either way. That would be a good excuse for Lord Elrond to tell Legolas. Yes, the girl you love purposely asked an orc to shoot her so you can bring her here and eat all of us. That would be a pleasant conversation to have. I had better keep my profile low from now on.
Then suddenly everything changed one day. I heard that an elf named Glorfindel had brought back a man and four hobbits with him. One of them was injured. First off, what kind of a name is Glorfindel, but then there's Legolas and Elrond and what not. Secondly, what were hobbits? Like some, I went to the gate to welcome the visitors. A few of us were scattered just beyond the gate to catch a glimpse of the people coming.
First to see was the elf on a white horse with a kid lying in front of him. Hobbits must be what they call children here because three more came in behind. I swear these elves got weirder by the second. There was also a pony carrying some of their equipment and finally... "Aragorn!"
I ran ahead towards him. "Where have you been? Since I woke up, I haven't seen you."
"Jocelyn, this is not the time to talk. I will catch up with you later." He hurried past me; following the white horse.
"Ya, it was nice seeing you again too!" I shouted after him.
Aragorn glanced backward and flashed me a smile. I must had forgotten how cute he was; cute enough to unstable my feet. Soon I had to go back in and the gate was shut. I went to look for Legolas but he was not in his room. He must have gone to greet Aragorn. What was so important Aragorn had to get to that he couldn't stay to talk for a few seconds longer? Was it that boy lying on the horse?
This boy must be causing a fuss because more and more people began to arrive the next few days. The people seemed very varied from elves to men to short men with huge beards. Why were they here all of a sudden? A meeting was to be held when the last member arrives. He was a man from Gunder I think. What was so special about that boy? He had been unconscious since the day he came. Rumors spread saying he held something precious of the Dark Lord, something called Isildur's Bane. It must be the one Mueyna spoke of.
I was walking down the open hall next to the gardens when all of a sudden something crashed into me.
'It's a simple yes or no question. I think you can handle it.'
That was what she thought, but if she was in my shoes, I think she would be falling down a cliff by now.
'Was that a yes or a no?'
God, I didn't know! There was the fact that I had to leave. What about my family? Well it was true I didn't really like them, but did I hate them enough to leave them forever? Contrariwise, I didn't want to go. I didn't have enough time here yet with Legolas! I couldn't just leave him dangling on a string that was going to snap any moment. What to do? What to do? I thought I just called for help. Answer!
'What does your heart tell you?'
Was that supposed to be a difficult question?
'Challenging enough for your heart to do the answering. What does it say?'
To stay.
'Then I think you know what to do.'
She agreed that I should stay? Something was wrong.
'There is nothing wrong. You want to spend more time with Legolas. That is understandable. You can always leave later, but I want you to know it's going to hurt. I mean a lot! Choose carefully. And there is also the matter of your attitude.'
I remember! I know it was going to hurt even more for me if I left right then. I chose to stay. I had better say it before I changed my mind. "Yes."
"Pardon? Was that a yes to living here or yes to leaving?" Elrond looked at me, but I saw in his eyes that he already knew my answer.
"Yes to staying." I finalized. I felt Legolas' strong arms wrap around me into a tight hug. He kissed me on the cheek. I smiled at him but not all a real one.
"Then it is settled. Arwen, perhaps you could accompany Jocelyn to her new room." Elrond requested, looking up behind him. They lady nodded her head. "We should all retire to our chambers, but Legolas you stay." He held back, "I need a word with you. You may go." Elrond dismissed me. I gave Legolas a final glance and walked out the door with Arwen behind me.
~*~
I kept silent, waiting for Arwen to lead the way. I didn't feel all confident about my decision. How long was I planning to stay? What if I didn't want to leave when it was time to go? Questions of doubt swarmed my mind.
"I can tell Legolas is not lying." Arwen interrupted my thoughts.
"Lying about what?" I was now walking side by side with her.
"This relationship. He is true to you. His love." She did not turn to look at me.
I wasn't sure what to say so I said thank you awkwardly.
"You must be strong, for the both of you." She continued, "You have to fight."
"I don't think I quite get you." I said, confused. There was fighting required?
"You never thought about it, did you?" This time, she made eye contact with me.
"Well yes, but I never knew we had to fight. Against what?"
Arwen shook her head. "He is immortal and what of you?"
Oh shit.
"Did you ever think about what would happen to him if you died?"
My face dropped to the ground. I felt ashamed for need of her to tell me this. Why didn't that ever occur to me? "Well, I guess it's a good thing that I wouldn't be here long enough to let him see me die." I said, attempting to turn the situation into a joke.
"Pardon? Do you mean to say you are planning to leave even when you said to Legolas you would stay? You are lying to him while he is being true to you? How can a relationship continue between a couple when one of them is not trustworthy?"
I covered my mouth in shock. Did I just spill out everything to her? Was she saying this out so loud that anyone in a radius of 50 meters could hear her? I swear she did that on purpose. I used my remaining hand to cover her mouth, but she didn't stop there. "Could we possibly discuss this quietly and privately in my room?"
Arwen glared at me slightly and continued on her way. The rest of the walking was silent. She started to question me once again when the door to my new room was closed shut.
"Are you going to tell him soon or just leave whenever? Does anyone else know this? What is your purpose here?"
"Look," I stopped her before she could annoy me anymore, "this is just as hard for me as it is on Legolas. I can tell you that I am not all happy about having to leave. You won't understand. I don't really understand completely myself." I slumped down onto the bed. It was so soft I almost slid off it. So that was how they treated guests; by giving them hard beds.
"Explain it to me, then. Make me understand." Arwen sat down on a chair across from me.
"It's a long story." I tried to swerve out of it.
"I have time. No need to hurry." She seemed to settle herself comfortably into the chair.
I sighed and launched into my epic adventure of traveling to Rivendell. Twice Arwen stopped me with questions about Legolas' injury and Mr. Bugspan. I sighed again to conclude my tale.
"Are you telling me you are not from Middle Earth, but that you fell from the sky? Excuse me, but I think it is getting late. I better return to my quarters. Good night." She said this all in a hurry and rushed out the door.
"I didn't exactly fall from the sky... Oh, what's the use?" I guess my story wasn't as easy to take in as I thought. I have had a lot to do today. Rest was what I needed right now. Without changing and without another thought, I climbed under the sheets. Sleep soon drifted on my eyelids.
~*~
Another five days passed with me trying to act normal around Legolas and Arwen avoiding me. I started to notice that Lord Elrond was looking at me suspiciously. Maybe Arwen told him my story. What if he thought I was some kind of elf-eating alien and sent me away?! But then again I was leaving either way. That would be a good excuse for Lord Elrond to tell Legolas. Yes, the girl you love purposely asked an orc to shoot her so you can bring her here and eat all of us. That would be a pleasant conversation to have. I had better keep my profile low from now on.
Then suddenly everything changed one day. I heard that an elf named Glorfindel had brought back a man and four hobbits with him. One of them was injured. First off, what kind of a name is Glorfindel, but then there's Legolas and Elrond and what not. Secondly, what were hobbits? Like some, I went to the gate to welcome the visitors. A few of us were scattered just beyond the gate to catch a glimpse of the people coming.
First to see was the elf on a white horse with a kid lying in front of him. Hobbits must be what they call children here because three more came in behind. I swear these elves got weirder by the second. There was also a pony carrying some of their equipment and finally... "Aragorn!"
I ran ahead towards him. "Where have you been? Since I woke up, I haven't seen you."
"Jocelyn, this is not the time to talk. I will catch up with you later." He hurried past me; following the white horse.
"Ya, it was nice seeing you again too!" I shouted after him.
Aragorn glanced backward and flashed me a smile. I must had forgotten how cute he was; cute enough to unstable my feet. Soon I had to go back in and the gate was shut. I went to look for Legolas but he was not in his room. He must have gone to greet Aragorn. What was so important Aragorn had to get to that he couldn't stay to talk for a few seconds longer? Was it that boy lying on the horse?
This boy must be causing a fuss because more and more people began to arrive the next few days. The people seemed very varied from elves to men to short men with huge beards. Why were they here all of a sudden? A meeting was to be held when the last member arrives. He was a man from Gunder I think. What was so special about that boy? He had been unconscious since the day he came. Rumors spread saying he held something precious of the Dark Lord, something called Isildur's Bane. It must be the one Mueyna spoke of.
I was walking down the open hall next to the gardens when all of a sudden something crashed into me.