Autumn Snow: Woo-hoo, chapter three. Thanks for the reviews, guys. I love you all! [huggles all] To diamond004, the reason on why Remus got the role, it's because of the Personality-reflecting charm thing. Okay, now on with the fic! As usual, read and review, please!
Many thanks to: melody-dance, Sparkles3, hoku-aenan, Cygna [and Rufus], diamond004, jai-mOony and hjytej5ehfr (whoever you are O.o)
The story is written in first-person view. The point of views will change every chapter, shifting from Sirius to Remus, vice versa. This chapter is Sirius' POV.
Oh yeah, the rating went up. It's now PG-13 for slash.
chapter three:
Mixed Emotions
Remus has been acting weird lately.
Also, he's been avoiding me. And even though he doesn't say it, or doesn't show it, I know he's troubled about something. I know. I can feel it.
Like this morning, I just arrived in the Great Hall, and as I sat beside him, he suddenly ate his breakfast in a way so unlike him, then promptly excused himself from the table saying, "I'll add some finishing touches to my essay now."
And before I can even greet him 'G'morning', he dashes off the hall in record time, not even looking back once.
It's irritating, in a way.
And worst of all, he's only avoiding me. Me, of all people! As in, me, Sirius Orion Black.
I mean, I know I haven't done anything to disappoint him, or upset him, so I can't find any reason for him to act like this on me.
Maybe it's because the full moon is approaching. He tends to show some wolf-ish symptoms when his 'hell days' are approaching. But then again, on second thought, he didn't become avoidant before. It only happened now.
Right now, we're in Charms class. Professor Flitwick is in front, demonstrating a new spell, and I'm staring at Remus, who's beside me, all his attention focused on the board. He probably knows I'm staring at him, probably knows I'm trying to get his attention, but he acts as if he doesn't notice me at all.
I can't believe him. It's like, he suddenly forgot who I was, why I was there, and that I ever existed.
Well, he can't go on like this forever. If he wants to avoid me for no reason at all, then fine. I won't disturb him. But I have to know, I need to know the explanation behind his behavior, or else I won't get any peace.
---
"Lils, love, I think this costume is better…"
"Don't call me that! And, no, Potter, you have such a weird taste in colors…"
I grin as I enter the Great Hall. It was noisy, as usual, but Lily's and James' voices dominated over the rest. They were arguing over something, again. I believe there's not a single day that passed where they never argued…
"But, but, this suits Sirius more!"
"No, it'll make him look like the antagonist…"
"What's up, Jamsie, dear?" I ask cheerfully as I sit into a space next to Remus, who seems to freeze up suddenly.
"Lils and I were discussing the cos-"
"How many times do I have to tell you never to call me that?!"
And they launch into another argument, this time, about James' pet name for Lily.
Turning my head away from them, I face Peter and Remus, who, unlike James, were spending their dinner time in peace.
"Full moon's around the corner," I say casually, eyeing Remus observantly, "where do we hang out?"
During the full moon, or better known as 'Remus' Hell Days', the rest of us Marauders join Moony in the Shrieking Shack. Sometimes, we wander off into other parts of Hogsmeade, exploring and stuff.
Peter starts, looking thoughtful, "how about near the Forbidden Fores-"
But before Peter could finish, Remus cuts him off abruptly. "Um, I'll go now."
Peter just nods at him, then continues about his Forbidden Forest idea.
I try to catch his eye, but he seems in a hurry, almost running out of the Great hall, as if being chased by some giant monster.
Ignoring Peter, I immediately put some food into my plate, wolfing them down in record time.
Things can't go on like this.
I can't let Remus be like that forever.
And, in whichever way, I'll find out what's bothering Remus.
"Hey, gotta go." I tell Peter while standing up, staring into the corridor that Remus disappeared into.
---
I follow Remus' tracks towards the library, and slowly, noiselessly, I creep up behind him. Has he noticed me yet? Probably not. As I near him, I gently place a hand on his shoulder.
The reaction I get makes me want to laugh. Remus suddenly jumps out of his skin, terribly frightened and surprised. Then, in 0.2 seconds, he turns, his wand deadly pointed at me.
I laugh. He glares at me, his face gaining color as he puts his wand down. Remus' handsome features slowly try pull into an expression of calmness.
"Sirius! What the bloody hell was that?!"
Sometimes, I think, I'm attracted to him. Like, right now, he's blushing madly, and it kinda complements his pale complexion, making him look cute. He's really good-looking, he just doesn't want to… I dunno, show it off. He's the shy-and-quiet type. Although I've heard that plenty of girls have crushes on him…
"Look, Moony, I'm sorry… It was just… well, you've been ignoring me a lot lately…"
He shifts his weight, leaning against the wall, "I… I was busy. There was a lot of school work, so…"
I step further towards him, lifting both of my arms and placing them on his sides, my palms flat against the wall, kind of trapping him. I look straight at his eyes, and he flickers his gaze away from me.
I can feel him blush under my gaze. Why did he have to blush every time? I can't focus.
"Sirius, what –"
Sighing, I say, "Look, I think we need to talk."
"We're already talking."
Rolling my eyes, I say, "I mean, a serious talk. Outside. Old meeting place." I tilt my head, indicating the direction to outside.
"But it'll be our curfew in a few minutes!"
"I know. And that makes it better." I grin at him, removing my arms from his sides, allowing him to slip away from me. He's still blushing like mad, and if he wasn't a guy, I would've court him. Seriously.
He looks so damn beautiful.
"I'll just get the Invisibility cloak, in case we might need it."
I nod at him, then I quickly race down the halls, down the entrance hall, out into the mid-October night air.
As I make my way toward the old oak tree by the lake, I shiver slightly from the cold, I should've brought a cloak with me.
I lie down the grass, my figure hidden behind the oak tree. I stare at the sky for some moment, observing the twinkling starts, taking note of their different changing colors, of the way they sparkle, how different they were from each other. The light breeze felt cool against my skin as my body gradually adjusted to the cold temperature.
I hear footsteps behind me, and as I glance behind, the grass growing around the tree temporarily flattens, giving the impression of someone or something walking on them. Finally, an invisible figure lies down beside me, revealing Remus' head as a silvery cloak slithers off his body.
We lie in comfortable silence for a while, neither speaking, neither moving, neither trying to break the silence. We just gaze at the stars.
"Alright," Remus starts, "I'm here. Talk."
I glance at him, trying to comprehend the expression written on his face. It was his usual calm self, but his eyes were looking very disturbed and they weren't emitting their usual enchanting spark.
"Moony," I start, eyeing him momentarily before I turn my attention to the vast, glittering sky, "…well, as I said earlier… you – you've been ignoring me lately…"
I pause, waiting for him to react, or something. He continues gazing at the stars so I continue:
"And… I also noticed that you've only been ignoring me… not Peter or James or anyone else…and…"
Pause. No response.
"And… Remus, are you listening?" He gives a slight nod, "I also believe that you're very troubled about something."
He seemed to twitch at my last remark so I add: "I know something's bothering you… so… please, Remus, tell me what it is. If it concerns me, or even if it doesn't, I won't care. I just want to know… I mean, you're my friend – a very close and special one too… so…"
He's staring at the ground, lost in his own thoughts, concentrating on what I was saying.
"So… I just want to help you out. Moony, what the bloody hell is bothering you?"
He's still quiet, and I fumble a bit, feeling like I should still add something to what I said, wanting to add something to what I said. But I just can't. I wait for his reaction.
"Sirus, nothing's bothering me. I'm fine. It's just schoolwork -" He's facing me now, that same 'reassuring' smile plastered on his face.
Liar.
"Schoolwork my arse." I cut him off impassively, not bothering to look at him.
"Really, Sirius, you don't know how much…"
"Look, Remus. LOOK." I face him, losing my temper a bit. "I – We have known each other for almost half of our lives. I know about your lycanthropy, along with all of your other secrets, and I have never, ever, blabbed your secrets to others. You know you can trust me, so why can't you tell me your problems? Isn't that what friends are for? Or am I some kind of stranger to you? Oh, yes, perhaps that's it…"
"Sirius, I don't consider you as a stranger…"
"…And to summarize the rant I said," I continue, choosing to ignore what he said, "I want to know what's bothering you. I WANT TO HELP YOU OUT. Why the hell were you ignoring me? And if you think you're the only one who's being disturbed by your problem, then, guess what, Moony, dearest? IT'S BOTHERING ME TOO."
I finally finish, taking a long, deep breath. I look at him, but he won't look back. He looks a bit shaken due to what I just said.
Both of us stay quiet, though in an uncomfortable sense this time. I begin to concentrate on the noises I haven't noticed before, such as the little crickets nearby and the gentle rippling of water (probably caused by the Giant Squid).
Calming down a bit, I thought over what I said. Maybe I shouldn't have lost my temper. Maybe I shouldn't have confronted him. Maybe he was bothered about something he wants to badly keep to himself. Maybe it was too personal for him to share.
Perhaps this talk was useless. Perhaps Remus wouldn't really tell. He's damn secretive at times, so very conservative when it comes to his feelings that sometimes I wish he would open up. He tends to choose others before himself. Damn that attitude of him. Oh, well…
"All right," I stand up, brushing some stray grass from my robes, "this talk was useless. Sorry for bothering you, Remus. I'll head up to the dorms now." And with that said, I start to walk away from him.
"Wait. Don't go."
I stop at my tracks. Remus managed to grab my arm, preventing me from walking any further. Listening to his request, I sit back down beside him.
"So, talk." I say, mimicking what he said a bit earlier.
He gracefully pulls his knees closer to him, wrapping his arms around them. Sighing slowly, as if debating if he should tell me or not, he begins:
"Okay. You see… um… er…" He takes a deep breath, "Okay. Okay. I'm sorry for ignoring you, Sirus. It's just that… I've been thinking a few things over and –"
"What kind of things?"
"Oh, you know… stuff."
I roll my eyes, "What kind of 'stuff'?"
"Just… random things."
Lying back down on the grass, I stretch my arms up in exasperation, "Look, we're talking in circles. What exactly are those things?!"
"Alright. Fine. I've been… I'm being bothered by… someone. A close friend. Someone so dear to me."
I sit up, and look at him, searching his light brown eyes, "And…?"
"And I think he- I mean my friend, I think… my friend is… getting, you know… 'more than friends' feelings for me…"
I eye him suspiciously. He slipped at the word 'he'. What could that mean? That this 'friend' he's talking about is a guy?
Is he… Is he talking about me? No, no way… I just like him because… I find him attractive… that's all… Not 'more than friends' feelings… No…
"And… well, I'm just really bothered by this – this friend of mine." He finishes flatly.
"I… I see," I manage to reply. "Do I… know this friend of yours?" I have to confirm if he is, indeed, talking about me.
He suddenly freezes up, his eyes lost in a swirl of caramel. He probably wasn't prepared for that question.
Is it me… then? Was I the 'friend' he was talking about?
I think Remus is starting to space out. I pat his arm and he snaps back to reality, away from his world of muddled thoughts.
I look at him expectantly.
"Uh… let's just say that… You know 'my friend' very well… But I don't think my friend knows you."
"Is your friend from another house?"
He debates with himself for a moment, thinking if he should answer, "Um… yeah."
I chuckle, "I didn't know you had friends from other houses."
"Yeah… well, you can make plenty of friends in the library."
Standing up, I lend a hand to him, "Okay. At least now my conscience in at peace. I thought I did something horrible for you to resent me."
"You can never do something so horrible for me to hate you." He took hold of my outstretched hand, and I help him up.
"Wanna bet?" I ask.
Dusting off dirt from his robes, he exclaims, "Sirius!"
Laughing a little, I say, "Kidding. Kidding." I pick up the Invisibility Cloak. "Here," I say, "Filch might see us."
And together, under the Invisibility Cloak, we walk towards our dorm in comfortable and enjoyable silence.
---
"Hey, Remmy, what'cha doin'?"
It was some days after me and Remus had our 'talk'. His 'hell days' would start in 24 hours and here he was, writing away on a piece of paper instead of taking much-needed rest.
"Oh… just writing. Have you seen the bulletin board?" He replies without even looking up from whatever he was writing.
"Hmm…?" I mused as I approached the common room bulletin board. Posted on it were the important things that were currently going through Hogwarts. Events included in it were contests, plays, balls and other such things.
The latest news was on the very top. The words written were:
Announcement: There will be a song writing contest starting today. Those who would like to join can pick from the following themes below:
Love
Friendship
Humor
Nature
Christmas
Others (please consult Professor Blanche)
The winner would get 10 galleons, 20 house points for his/her house and some other prizes. Winner would be notified before the 24th of December.
Your entries should have a title, and a label, along with your name, and respective house. It should be sent to Professor Blanche's office at the third floor.
Goodluck to all.
I grab a chair and sit across him. He was staring at his paper, probably trying to think of something to add.
"So, what's the theme of your song?" I ask casually.
He looks up, a thoughtful look on his face. Smiling, he says, "Guess?"
"Ooh. Hmm… I don't know. Can I see it?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No, Sirius. No."
Grinning, I lunge forward at him, grabbing the piece of parchment he was holding. Quickly, I run to the boys' dorm, shutting the door behind and placing a lock charm on the door to prevent Remus from entering.
I unroll the parchment, reading the words written on it.
Should I let you know
I was never really like this before
Need I say more?
Or maybe I'm confused when you are near me
I don't know what to do
Or I should be
There's only one thing on my mind
And that's you and me –
But before I could finish it, the door opens with a loud 'boom', and suddenly, I'm on the floor, my back on the surface of the floor, and Remus is on top of me, strangling me to death as he tried to retrieve his parchment from my hands.
"Sirius! Give me the paper!"
"Moo – ny… I – I… Ca – can't – bre – athe – s - sto – p - !"
He reluctantly lets go of me, as he spotted his rumpled parchment on the floor beside a bed. I breathe deeply and he glares back at me.
"Okay, Moony, I'm sorry. It's just that you weren't telling me -"
He cuts me off, "Well, now. You now know it's about love. Don't do that again, Sirius, please."
Holding my hands up, palms facing him, I say. "Okay, okay. Peace?"
He nods in approval and gives a small smile. "Just… don't do that again, alright?"
"I promise."
He then went off, telling me that he would finish his song in the library.
I lie on my bed for sometime. Thinking of how Remus strangled me some moments ago, I smile to myself. He looks really nice when he's blushing.
Standing up, I leave our dorm. There was nothing to do for me on a typical Thursday night like this. We usually do our assignments on weekends (meaning, James, me and Peter. Remus usually does his assignments early).
Hmm… James is with Lily right now. Snogging. Erm… I mean, preparing for the play. Remus is in the library and Peter… where the hell is Peter? He seems to disappear most of the time…
I walk out of the common room, down the stairs, and turning into a corner, I head for the kitchens. Maybe I'll find Peter there...
"Next time, never ever mess up with a Malf-"
"Accio wand!"
Immediatley, Lucius Malfoy's wand flies from his hand and lands on mine. I glare at him. Peter slinks off away from him.
Lucius smirks, "You just got lucky, Pettigrew. Accio wand!!" His wand returns to him, and before leaving, he says, "Next time, Black. Next time. Oh, and say hi to your gay friend, Lupin, for me, will you, Black? Heard he got the Sleeping Beauty role."
"Okay, I will. Don't worry. And can you say hi for me to your bitch of a girlfriend, Narcissa, Malfoy? I caught her making out with a Slytherin last week and some Ravenclaws two days ago. Oh, I forgot, she also made out with Snive – Snape yesterday at the Prefects' bathroom."
Stopping dead at his tracks, he throws 'drop-dead' looks at me, saying, "Don't you ever insult my girlfriend, Black."
"Then don't hit on any of my friends. And a little advice, friend. Why don't you try to look at the broom closet on the fourth floor, right corridor when you can't find Narcissa? You might find her there with a certain Hufflepuff."
Gritting his teeth, Lucius stomps away, his footsteps making echoes on his way to the Slytherin dungeons.
"Thanks, Sirius." Peter thanks me after Lucius went away. He then skittles off to God-knows-where.
I was about to resume my unfinished journey to the kitchens when…
"Tut, tut," A voice behind me suddenly speaks up. Terribly surprised, I jump back, and look at the guy who was crazy enough to creep up on me like that: Severus "Snivellus" Snape.
"You know, I think Lucius is right." Snape says in a nasty monotonous voice. "I think one of your friends isn't so straight."
Using my height to intimidate him (since he was very puny. I was like five-feet and he was… what? four-something?), I say gruffly, "Oh, really?"
Snivellus takes a step back, "I saw you, you know. Some days ago. Outside, after curfew."
"And..?" I say, narrowing my eyes.
"And… I think you two have something… going on." He finishes with a mischievous grin.
I was really mad now. First Lucius, then Snivellus. I have to make sure I'd give them the worst prank they have yet to receive.
Then an idea comes to me…
"All of us Gryffindors are straight, thank you very much. You want proof that Remus is anything but that?"
Snape suddenly stops grinning. He looks like his usally impassive self, yet his eyes were gleaming, and I could see the wheels in Snape's brain turning. Ah, yes… this will be the perfect prank ever.
Raising his eyebrow a little, he nods, slowly.
"Go to the Whomping Willow. On the full moon. Poke the stub, go through the tunnel. You'll find the proof there."
He nods, then sets off towards the dungeons. I grin.
I can't wait for the full moon. Oh, yes, this will be one interesting week…
---
I love cliffhangers. XD
Please review. Suggestions are very welcome too.
(Also, for some reason, FF.net didn't allow asterisks to be posted here. So I'm using brackets.)