-Conversations from Rome-
A/N This is a follow up of the 100th episode "Your Welcome" If you haven't seen it and you don't want to be spoiled Do not read!!!!
She's dead. I didn't believe it at first. I've seen the body, her body and she's gone. I sit at my desk and stare at the view, a spectacular view she said. I don't know if I can do this without her. Even when she was in a coma she was always my conscience. The one voice I could count on to tell the truth, even when it hurt.
~"Tact is just saying not true stuff"~
~"I think it, I say it. It's my way"~
I smile remembering Cordy's patented point of view. I sit here alone in this dark room and with a sudden sharp pain I realize I have no one to remind me not to brood. I bury my head in my hands. I loved her, not like I love Buffy, but she was in my heart. More importantly, she was the one person who remembered Connor. I could go sit in her hospital room and talk about him all I wanted. She was the last person on this earth I could talk to Connor about.
I can't break down, not now. I can't break down. I close my eyes and search for the well of strength that I know exists. I just look for the light. It's there where it's always been, put there by an undefeatable tiny wisp of a blond. Just like her, it won't stay dead.
"Hello," Her voice washes over me and I can handle the pain.
"Buffy," I need to say her name and I need her to say mine.
"Angel," I can hear her smile and somehow that makes me smile.
"Do me a favor?" I ask.
"Of course," She says. I can hear the curiosity pique in her voice.
"Just talk to me. I don't care about what. I just need to hear you."
"Okay. Dawn is doing really well in school here. She's got a few friends. One of them is an Italian boy 3 years older then her. We had the whole discussion about he was too old for her. She of course mouthed off and reminded me that I have so much room to talk. My prom date was two hundred and twenty four years older then me."
I smile. Somehow the years have drained away the pain of that memory and left only the joy of me holding her.
"Let's see. We went to the Roman amphitheater the other day. It was amazing. The only genuine old thing I've ever seen is you. That place is just ancient. You're prettier though. Of course, I had to go back later and slay some vamps-"
"Wait a minute; did you just say I was pretty?" I interrupt.
"You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in this life, or the next, Angel. These vamps on the other hand, I'm pretty sure they were Romans, the kind with the togas, at one point. And really, after several hundred years, changing clothes is a good thing."
She thinks I'm beautiful. I smile that half smile Cordy always called Buffy face. "Thank you." I say.
"So what's the what? I think I could actually ask you that in really bad Italian now." She says.
"Cordy died tonight." It feels wrong to say it.
"Oh, Angel, I'm sorry." Her voice is sincere and sounds flooded with tears.
"It's better then the way she was. I just kept thinking she'd wake up and walk in my office one day with a comment about my brooding." I don't bother to explain that she did, only she wasn't really here, she never really woke up.
"I've got a lot of free time now. Anytime you need a nudge to about brooding, I can fill the position, although not with quite the same flair. There's only one Cordy." She offers.
There is only one Cordy. I realize I have been very lucky in my life to have known, and loved, two such extraordinary women. Buffy may be my light, my salvation, my redemption, but Cordy was my anchor.
"Buffy, you know how important you are to me, don't you?" It's suddenly very urgent that she know.
"I know." She says somberly.
My voice cracks. I can't stop myself from echoing words to her from so long ago. "You still my girl?"
"Always,"
A/N This is a follow up of the 100th episode "Your Welcome" If you haven't seen it and you don't want to be spoiled Do not read!!!!
She's dead. I didn't believe it at first. I've seen the body, her body and she's gone. I sit at my desk and stare at the view, a spectacular view she said. I don't know if I can do this without her. Even when she was in a coma she was always my conscience. The one voice I could count on to tell the truth, even when it hurt.
~"Tact is just saying not true stuff"~
~"I think it, I say it. It's my way"~
I smile remembering Cordy's patented point of view. I sit here alone in this dark room and with a sudden sharp pain I realize I have no one to remind me not to brood. I bury my head in my hands. I loved her, not like I love Buffy, but she was in my heart. More importantly, she was the one person who remembered Connor. I could go sit in her hospital room and talk about him all I wanted. She was the last person on this earth I could talk to Connor about.
I can't break down, not now. I can't break down. I close my eyes and search for the well of strength that I know exists. I just look for the light. It's there where it's always been, put there by an undefeatable tiny wisp of a blond. Just like her, it won't stay dead.
"Hello," Her voice washes over me and I can handle the pain.
"Buffy," I need to say her name and I need her to say mine.
"Angel," I can hear her smile and somehow that makes me smile.
"Do me a favor?" I ask.
"Of course," She says. I can hear the curiosity pique in her voice.
"Just talk to me. I don't care about what. I just need to hear you."
"Okay. Dawn is doing really well in school here. She's got a few friends. One of them is an Italian boy 3 years older then her. We had the whole discussion about he was too old for her. She of course mouthed off and reminded me that I have so much room to talk. My prom date was two hundred and twenty four years older then me."
I smile. Somehow the years have drained away the pain of that memory and left only the joy of me holding her.
"Let's see. We went to the Roman amphitheater the other day. It was amazing. The only genuine old thing I've ever seen is you. That place is just ancient. You're prettier though. Of course, I had to go back later and slay some vamps-"
"Wait a minute; did you just say I was pretty?" I interrupt.
"You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in this life, or the next, Angel. These vamps on the other hand, I'm pretty sure they were Romans, the kind with the togas, at one point. And really, after several hundred years, changing clothes is a good thing."
She thinks I'm beautiful. I smile that half smile Cordy always called Buffy face. "Thank you." I say.
"So what's the what? I think I could actually ask you that in really bad Italian now." She says.
"Cordy died tonight." It feels wrong to say it.
"Oh, Angel, I'm sorry." Her voice is sincere and sounds flooded with tears.
"It's better then the way she was. I just kept thinking she'd wake up and walk in my office one day with a comment about my brooding." I don't bother to explain that she did, only she wasn't really here, she never really woke up.
"I've got a lot of free time now. Anytime you need a nudge to about brooding, I can fill the position, although not with quite the same flair. There's only one Cordy." She offers.
There is only one Cordy. I realize I have been very lucky in my life to have known, and loved, two such extraordinary women. Buffy may be my light, my salvation, my redemption, but Cordy was my anchor.
"Buffy, you know how important you are to me, don't you?" It's suddenly very urgent that she know.
"I know." She says somberly.
My voice cracks. I can't stop myself from echoing words to her from so long ago. "You still my girl?"
"Always,"