Harry Potter and The Third Reich
Chapter 3
24
Previously on HPaTTR:
"Oh my god! He has been shot!" Hermione yelled, hovering over the dieing body of JFK.
"Who did it?" the man asked.
"I don't know, but who ever it was, there were two shooters!" Hermione said.
"Two...hmmm......you mean...one shooter, and a crazy bouncing bullet!" A communist said.
"Heyhooo!" Gibby said.
"Yes I have a problem! I admit it, I am addicted to crack. But you need me to bust this case, you know that.
It doesn't matter how many times we fucked and I never called you, but you need me to stop Krochef and you know it." Harry said.
"Okay Potter, but if we do this, we do this my way." Dick Cheney said.
"OKAY MOTHER FUCKERS! I HAVE A BOMB STRAPPED TO MY CHEST, I WANT FORTY MILLION DOLLARS, A PLANE TO NORTH AFRICA, AND A DIET PEPSI!" Ginny yelled.
"Listen man, you have to take a shower. Everybody does it....come on Mikey." Mrs. Weasley said.
"I don't wanna, I make movies now! I won an oscar! Shame on you Mrs. Weasley for this fictious bath. And shame on you Mr. Polk for this fictious lame parody that you are writing late at night while trying to think of why the hell everyone else has a blog and you don't you lame bastard you have plenty of material you just need to write one, look I don't care if your other blog didn't work. Just make a new one." Michael Moore said.
"Holy hell, I just realized, that wasn't Danny Glover in Pulp Fiction, it was Samuel L. Jackson!" said Dumbledore.
"Generic cliched joke about some famous person being black, and the fact that I just realized that." R.C. Polk said.
The following takes place between 12:00 am and 12:00 pm on the day of the California Presidential Primary.
A man sitting at a desk, talking on his cellphone.
"Look, I found out the bomb is set to go off at 12:10." the man said.
"And you are sure of this?" The mysterious man said.
"Positive, and what of the girl?" the man said.
"She has seen me, no doubt having plenty of sex dreams about me as we speak." The mysterious man said.
"Remember, she is the only one who can open the, thing." the man said.
"Yes...the thing, but don't say what it is over the phone." The mysterious man said.
"Why not? It is not like anyone is listening." the man said.
"I just have a feeling," The mysterious man said.
"You 'just had a feeling' about Sesame Street themed throwing knives too, didn't you?" the man said.
"Must you bring that up?" The mysterious man said.
"Yes I do, you know you really make me angry some times." the man said.
"Damn, you are sexy when you are mad. Wanna have phone sex?" The mysterious man said.
"Eh, what the hell, we have time before the thing." the man said.
"Okay okay, here is the situation: You are the teacher of my class, I was writing naughty dirty notes about my favorite naughty teacher. You gave me an after school detention and we are being naughty." The mysterious man said.
"Teacher's pet!" the man yelled.
And now, a message from the Catholic Church.
Abstinence Abstinence Abstinence Abstinence Abstinence Abstinence Abstinence Abstinence Abstinence Sex is bad! Bahhhhhh! Sex is bad. God. God. God. God. God. God. Abstinence Abstinence Abstinence GOD! Abstinence
Platform 9 3/4 Harry and 'The Gang' are on the Hogwarts Express.
"Whew, that was one crazy day." Ron said.
"Yeah, I am only glad that none of us got hurt." Harry said.
"Yeah, I am sure glad we found a way to get rid of Craig Kilborn!" Ron said.
"Well at least that is one more mystery solved, but what really happened to Kurt Cobain?" Ron said.
Kurt Cobain's house, Kurt is reading to his daughter, his wife walks in the room.
"Hey my little girl, why don't you head off to bed." Cortney said.
"Okay mommy, goodnight daddy! Tommorow we finish the book." Kurt's daughter said.
"Okay sweetie," Kurt said.
Kurt's daughter leaves the room.
"Isn't she the most beautiful thing you have ever seen? It makes me so happy to think that I will be there when she gets married and has kids of her own some day....wow." Kurt said.
"Yes....be there.....right...." Cortney said, holding a shotgun behind her back.
"Hey Hermione, good to see you." Harry said.
"Hey guys," Hermione said sadly.
"Whats up Hermione, c'mon, tell us what is wrong, let's advance your character a little bit." Ron said.
"Well, my parents are very sucessful busniess people....and...I just don't want to live in the shadow of my father." Hermione said.
"Look, you'll be fine, I've met plently of people who live in the shadows of their fathers!" Ron said.
Ron walks into a room to find Brian Herbert, Michael Tolkin, and George W. Bush jr all sitting and talking.
"Hey, I know you...you guys-" Ron said.
"Yea! We basicly did everything our fathers did, but worse!" Brian Herbert said.
"Yea, I plagerized a great man's work!" George Bush said.
"Heyhooooooo!" Gibby said.
"Wow, that makes me feel way better, Ron." Hermione said.
"Just remember that there will always be something worse than what you are right now!" Harry said.
"What?" Hermione asked.
"Community theater!" Harry said.
"You are right guys!" Hermione said.
"Well, you crisis is over fast." Ron said.
"Yea, it was only like three hundred words." Hermione said.
Suddenly the train began too violently shake.
"What is going on?" Hermione yelled.
"I don't know, but what ever it is I know that I am going to survive no matter what happens!" Harry said.
The Hogwarts Express is destroyed by a great explosion. Everyone on board is killed. But don't worry, everyone will be back like nothing ever happened in the next episode. And just remember, that there is always something worse than a train full of school children blowing up.
Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks GOD!!!!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!!!! ABSTINENCE! ABSTINENCE! ABSTINENCE!
"Heyhoooooo!" Gibby said.
Chapter 3
24
Previously on HPaTTR:
"Oh my god! He has been shot!" Hermione yelled, hovering over the dieing body of JFK.
"Who did it?" the man asked.
"I don't know, but who ever it was, there were two shooters!" Hermione said.
"Two...hmmm......you mean...one shooter, and a crazy bouncing bullet!" A communist said.
"Heyhooo!" Gibby said.
"Yes I have a problem! I admit it, I am addicted to crack. But you need me to bust this case, you know that.
It doesn't matter how many times we fucked and I never called you, but you need me to stop Krochef and you know it." Harry said.
"Okay Potter, but if we do this, we do this my way." Dick Cheney said.
"OKAY MOTHER FUCKERS! I HAVE A BOMB STRAPPED TO MY CHEST, I WANT FORTY MILLION DOLLARS, A PLANE TO NORTH AFRICA, AND A DIET PEPSI!" Ginny yelled.
"Listen man, you have to take a shower. Everybody does it....come on Mikey." Mrs. Weasley said.
"I don't wanna, I make movies now! I won an oscar! Shame on you Mrs. Weasley for this fictious bath. And shame on you Mr. Polk for this fictious lame parody that you are writing late at night while trying to think of why the hell everyone else has a blog and you don't you lame bastard you have plenty of material you just need to write one, look I don't care if your other blog didn't work. Just make a new one." Michael Moore said.
"Holy hell, I just realized, that wasn't Danny Glover in Pulp Fiction, it was Samuel L. Jackson!" said Dumbledore.
"Generic cliched joke about some famous person being black, and the fact that I just realized that." R.C. Polk said.
The following takes place between 12:00 am and 12:00 pm on the day of the California Presidential Primary.
A man sitting at a desk, talking on his cellphone.
"Look, I found out the bomb is set to go off at 12:10." the man said.
"And you are sure of this?" The mysterious man said.
"Positive, and what of the girl?" the man said.
"She has seen me, no doubt having plenty of sex dreams about me as we speak." The mysterious man said.
"Remember, she is the only one who can open the, thing." the man said.
"Yes...the thing, but don't say what it is over the phone." The mysterious man said.
"Why not? It is not like anyone is listening." the man said.
"I just have a feeling," The mysterious man said.
"You 'just had a feeling' about Sesame Street themed throwing knives too, didn't you?" the man said.
"Must you bring that up?" The mysterious man said.
"Yes I do, you know you really make me angry some times." the man said.
"Damn, you are sexy when you are mad. Wanna have phone sex?" The mysterious man said.
"Eh, what the hell, we have time before the thing." the man said.
"Okay okay, here is the situation: You are the teacher of my class, I was writing naughty dirty notes about my favorite naughty teacher. You gave me an after school detention and we are being naughty." The mysterious man said.
"Teacher's pet!" the man yelled.
And now, a message from the Catholic Church.
Abstinence Abstinence Abstinence Abstinence Abstinence Abstinence Abstinence Abstinence Abstinence Sex is bad! Bahhhhhh! Sex is bad. God. God. God. God. God. God. Abstinence Abstinence Abstinence GOD! Abstinence
Platform 9 3/4 Harry and 'The Gang' are on the Hogwarts Express.
"Whew, that was one crazy day." Ron said.
"Yeah, I am only glad that none of us got hurt." Harry said.
"Yeah, I am sure glad we found a way to get rid of Craig Kilborn!" Ron said.
"Well at least that is one more mystery solved, but what really happened to Kurt Cobain?" Ron said.
Kurt Cobain's house, Kurt is reading to his daughter, his wife walks in the room.
"Hey my little girl, why don't you head off to bed." Cortney said.
"Okay mommy, goodnight daddy! Tommorow we finish the book." Kurt's daughter said.
"Okay sweetie," Kurt said.
Kurt's daughter leaves the room.
"Isn't she the most beautiful thing you have ever seen? It makes me so happy to think that I will be there when she gets married and has kids of her own some day....wow." Kurt said.
"Yes....be there.....right...." Cortney said, holding a shotgun behind her back.
"Hey Hermione, good to see you." Harry said.
"Hey guys," Hermione said sadly.
"Whats up Hermione, c'mon, tell us what is wrong, let's advance your character a little bit." Ron said.
"Well, my parents are very sucessful busniess people....and...I just don't want to live in the shadow of my father." Hermione said.
"Look, you'll be fine, I've met plently of people who live in the shadows of their fathers!" Ron said.
Ron walks into a room to find Brian Herbert, Michael Tolkin, and George W. Bush jr all sitting and talking.
"Hey, I know you...you guys-" Ron said.
"Yea! We basicly did everything our fathers did, but worse!" Brian Herbert said.
"Yea, I plagerized a great man's work!" George Bush said.
"Heyhooooooo!" Gibby said.
"Wow, that makes me feel way better, Ron." Hermione said.
"Just remember that there will always be something worse than what you are right now!" Harry said.
"What?" Hermione asked.
"Community theater!" Harry said.
"You are right guys!" Hermione said.
"Well, you crisis is over fast." Ron said.
"Yea, it was only like three hundred words." Hermione said.
Suddenly the train began too violently shake.
"What is going on?" Hermione yelled.
"I don't know, but what ever it is I know that I am going to survive no matter what happens!" Harry said.
The Hogwarts Express is destroyed by a great explosion. Everyone on board is killed. But don't worry, everyone will be back like nothing ever happened in the next episode. And just remember, that there is always something worse than a train full of school children blowing up.
Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks Community Theater Sucks GOD!!!!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!!!! ABSTINENCE! ABSTINENCE! ABSTINENCE!
"Heyhoooooo!" Gibby said.