Standard disclaimers apply.
Tears leave a trail behind
You are this tear
Nothing can change the scar you mark
Running down my cheeks
Only you can make it disappear
If you walk down the path again
And come back to me.
--- g3ozLizh
THE GREATEST THING
By g3ozLizh
Chapter One
Honesty?
Megumi was silent as she dabbed alcohol-dipped cotton against the thin long gash on Sano's left cheek.
Sano hissed. Megumi continued to do the cleaning of the wound and it was after a few more seconds before she remarked.
"Maybe then you'd think twice as to pick a fight with Aoshi." She didn't meet his eyes for she knew she would see hurt there; she had wounded his pride by saying it, knowing Sano, though hurting his ego was not her intention.
Sano glared at her and it was not easy for her to miss as their faces were closer than what is comfortable (considering the current situation they were in). "I wasn't merely picking a fight with Aoshi. I had to do it to knock some sense into that no good husband of Misao," he retorted and knew he had a point there.
But Megumi, as always, was unrelenting. "Still, you could have done it in another way," she said quietly as she covered his wound with clean gauze.
"And what do you suggest that I should have done? Talk to him? That guy won't even listen to me!"
Megumi stopped her work and glared at him. "I can see why!"
Sano glared back.
She took in a deep breath to calm her nerves. "Well, I don't see him waiting for Misao to wake up. I would say that you encouraged him more to go away."
"That's probably good! I only fought him at least to do what I have to do so that when the time comes Misao asks if I did anything to stop him, I won't have to lie!"
"Is that the only reason why you did what you did?" Megumi asked, then after regretted it; her voice sounded more accusing than what should have only been a curious inquiry. She doesn't think she could bear the pain if he confirmed what she had been silently dreading about.
Sano was silent and was looking over Megumi's shoulder with a faraway look on his face. After a while, his eyes resumed focus but the gaze didn't turn back to her. "No," came the simple answer.
It was vague and Megumi didn't know if she should be relieved or be more frustrated with the way Sano was unconsciously torturing her heart.
"Hey, I think Misao's conscious," he murmured, noticing through the open doorway to the patient's room the movement under the blanket; only the lower half of the futon could be seen.
So, no wonder he was not looking at her. He has his eyes set on someone else.
Megumi hastily stood up, not wanting him to see the tears that threatened to fall --- well, that is if he's still paying attention. Her voice was thick when she spoke, "Your hand and ribs should be healing properly in a week or so." She has so much to say as a doctor attending to a patient but her current condition would not allow her. Anyway, when he fought Aoshi, it was evident that he hadn't heeded her advice not to use his recuperating hand so it was unlikely that he would heed her now.
She walked pass him to return the medical apparatuses to the cabinet by the corner of the room. She heard Sano stand up and retrieve his jacket that had been tossed aside on the floor by the doorway.
Before he stepped out of the room, he paused, hands in pockets then turned his head to look over his shoulder. "Fox," he softly spoke. He saw her stop midway and as though she was startled to know that he would call her rather than just exit the room.
She turned her head to the side but did not face him, only enough for him to see a portion of her face.
Now that he has her attention, he didn't know what to say. What should be the proper way to say for her help? "Thanks," he muttered. It came out seemingly inappropriate.
If she had been any normal doctor, thanks would have been appropriate. But she was not just any doctor. She was his doctor in more ways than one.
If she had faced him, he would surely see her tear-streaked face. She nodded, unable to speak for suppressing her tears placed a lump in her throat.
Sano turned as if to go out but then paused. He glanced back at her and saw that it took her forever to return everything back. He seemed to want to say something more but not finding the right words, he resigned to just leave her without another word.
=====
The pale and almost lifeless body of Misao lay on the clinic's futon. As he sat in his cross-legged way, Sano gently caressed the back of her hand with his thumb, all the while wanting to cry out in anguish but can't. The feeling of hatred towards the person who caused Misao so much pain --- and now this --- was just too overpowering.
The rice paper door suddenly slid open and Sano's head immediately shot up. Upon recognizing the person, he glared at him with all the contempt he still had after their fight.
Aoshi's eyes briefly slanted --- in what? Anger? Jealousy? --- at the sight of Sagara holding his wife's hand before resuming to their emotionless look. Whatever feeling just blazed up, it didn't show in any way anymore.
And that made Sano all the more enraged.
Aoshi walked calmly towards the edge of the futon though completely aware of the daggers Sano was shooting in his direction. If he had been any normal man, he would have shrunk, even just a bit, beneath that look of contempt.
By the time he reached the bed, Sano had already placed Misao's hand back, resting it on her side. Now, both hands were clenched, half-hidden from Aoshi's view but still detectable.
Aoshi slowly --- almost lovingly in Sano's eyes for it was something he knew Aoshi had never shown publicly until now --- kneeled down beside the futon and brought Misao's hand to his other hand where, after watching her shallow almost negligible rise of the chest, covered it with his free hand and finally, clasped it in between his.
Sano knew this was too much for a man like Aoshi to manifest outwardly the emotions he felt inside but it was still was not enough a reason for him to give the guy the benefit of not facing his anger, not after all that he had done. His wife was lying almost without life and here he was, barely affected by it.
'Does he think she's just going to wake up any time soon??? Misao deserves more that that!' He gritted his teeth and when he couldn't hold back any longer, he stood up meaningful against the tatami floor.
He needed to get out of the room --- fast. For his best friend's sake, he would not disturb whatever peace she found in her unconscious state. He was about to exit the door when Aoshi's voice made him stop.
"Matte." His voice was curt and as cold as ice as expected. Sano wondered what in the world Misao's husband had to tell him.
He answered but didn't turn around, hands shoved in his pockets. "What?"
Sano heard the rustle of his trench coat, meaning that he had stood up. "I'm going."
"Then go. It's not really unexpected of you considering the very few times you spare for your own wife. But this I have to say: she needs you now more than ever and even though I think she'd be better off without you, you're her only will to survive."
Silence. Then as if Aoshi hadn't heard him, he spoke. "I'm going away. I need to face Kanryu on my own."
Sano snapped. He whirled around and marched towards him, anger evident in his features. "You can't do that! Can't you see? She needs you, for kami-sama's sake! What the fuck… are you blind??? Is there really no warmth in that icy heart of yours even for your wife???"
"I will be withdrawing from the Oniwabanshuu; she would not be obliged to protect me anymore."
"What she did was more than to protect you… she did it as any loving wife would have done for her husband." For once in his life, Sano knew he was right… but however, in easier times, a world record it was, he knew it wouldn't do any benefit to him by making Aoshi change his mind.
"Takeda Kanryu won't stop unless he has my head. She has done quite enough. As her husband, I'm doing this to protect her." Even in his years, the last statement sounded like a business proposal.
"Protect her? Protect her, my ass! Don't you think it's a little too late for that? And now you openly say you're her husband. What good would that do to her now? With her unconscious?"
Aoshi only regarded him with silence. Sano felt like he was talking to a wall.
'A wall of ice… that's what this guy is…" Sano inwardly shook his head in exasperation; outwardly, he ran a hand through his messy hair which he felt like pulling in frustration. What does it take to get through to this guy? "You know, I knew from the very start that you're not worthy of her and she'd be better off ---"
"With you."
That stopped Sano.
Aoshi continued. "I noticed the way you care for her… more than I ever could." His face somewhat gave in to an emotion that was too quick to regress for the frustrated man to know what it was. "She'd be better off with you in her life."
With that, Aoshi quietly exited the room. Sano didn't even bother to stop him as he would if not for the last comment.
Sano did not know what to say and for minutes, he remained that way. He continued to gaze at Misao as if contemplating…
=====
Megumi's chest constricted as she watched Sano from the little gap on the rice paper door, going towards her office that Sano had left open. She was just fortunate to hear their heated argument. The more seconds Sano stood there, staring at Misao and even though she could not see his face, she had seen more than enough instances from before to not have doubts anymore.
As if sensing her presence and her eyes upon him, Sano's head turned and they locked gazes.
Both knew the meaning of those gazes only that they were uncertain as to how to confront each other.
Sano tried. "Megumi…"
She stepped out of the door, head cast down and pressing her trembling lips together. "So this is where we stand…" she whispered. Without saying anything more and without waiting for any confirmation of some sort, she turned around and walked away.
=====
Misao sensed that she was in her subconscious state. Somewhere in her foggy brain, a scene reeled itself to life…
Jubilant faces shone everywhere she looked, in every nook and cranny of the garden where their wedding was to be held.
She tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear that got loose by the gentle breeze as she surveyed her surroundings.
She was seeing herself on her wedding day; what could have been the happiest moment in her life was being shattered because she was marrying for all the wrong reasons. To the wrong man.
Wrong there is ironic. Wrong because everyone seemed to be happy and in high spirits but she was not. Wrong because as she floated down the aisle towards her husband-to-be in her simple yet elegant wedding dress, his face didn't exude that expression of happy contentment and she knew that he was not eagerly waiting to take her hand as any normal groom would have done. Wrong because for her, he was the one but for him she was not. Wrong because she loves him but he doesn't love her back. Wrong because he did return her love only with this meaning: you can have your love, I don't need it.
But she couldn't quell the hope that blossomed in her heart as he stared at her with those ice blue eyes that despite the passionless and placidness in them, they warmed her in this unexplainable manner. Somehow, she drew enough determination and hope in that moment that he will return her love as he had given to her on that fateful, magical night they had shared. She will break through his shell once again; only this time, she wouldn't be alone… she knew their baby would help close the gap between them.
Until the time came when the determination and hope she drew from that instant weren't able to last more; she lost her faith not only in his love… she lost something much more…
To be continued….
Author's Notes:
Yeah, this is certainly going to be an AU fic because I will be manipulating some characters here to fit my story. But the setting is still the same as in the RK series… I think. Oh, so sorry for the indefiniteness! I'm trying to sort out some things up to now. sighs I believe I just recovered from a long, major mental block!
Do leave a review!