The location and some of the characters belong to Tamora Pierce.
Two weeks later, the castle was in an uproar of preparation. Princess Brunhilda has accepted the invitation and agreed to come with a small delegation immediately. Kadar himself selected a suite of modest but comfortable chambers and instructed a discreet servant to place the selected stone-which greatly resembled a globe-underneath the princess's mattress the day she arrived.
....................................
Kadar yawned and wiped sweat off his face for the fourth time in seven minutes. He was wearing a particularly stylish (and thus particularly uncomfortable) court robe and waiting to greet princess Brunhilda in the throne room.
Finally, the sound of bugling reached his ears. He sighed in relief, hoping that after a few minutes discussion he could courteously-and conveniently-allow the princess to bathe and refresh herself before supper was served.
"Announcing her Royal Highness, Princess Brunhilda of Scranra," called the herald. Princess Brunhilda entered the room in regal procession and Kadar's jaw dropped.
"I hope for your sake she's as thick-skinned as she looks," whispered Kadar's friends, Hachel. Kadar normally admired truthful sentiments from his friends but at this statement his mind went to work planning things to put in his friends bed and his thinking ran more along the lines of slimly and squirmy than small and delicate.
He looked at Princess Brunhilda again, just to make sure his eyes weren't deceiving him. They weren't. She looked to be somewhere between three hundred and three hundred and fifty pounds. She had scraggily browning grayish hair that was unattractively greasy looking. A single gigantic eyebrow, as fuzzy as a caterpillar, graced her pimpled forehead. As she came closer Kadar could see that her nose was covered in warts. She seemed to have a mustache bushier than the one Kadar had tried to cultivate the previous summer. Kadar wanted to run away screaming.
Kadar wondered which councilor he ought to fire for even suggesting that he marry her. Kadar tried to keep an open mind and judge people by their personalities but she was really ugly. He wondered why he had heard rumors that she was extremely popular at court. When he saw a few of the noble-women accompanying her he understood. None of them were ugly, all of them were quite plain, but next to her they all looked drop dead gorgeous.
Kadar escaped from the throne room as soon as he could to weep in terror in his room before dinner. He prayed to every god he could think of, and a few that he had made up, that she wasn't the least bit sensitive.
At dinner Kadar discovered that while she was well-read and fairly intelligent, she had an awful sense of humor and the table-manners of a Stormwing. Kadar spent the evening trying to avoid being treated to a close- up demo of the early stages of the digestive system and trying to catch the wine glasses she knocked over with her enormous elbows before too much spilled. Kadar had to order the room to be aired out after the princess and her gaseous emissions went to bed.
Kadar nearly fainted with relief when the princess mentioned nothing about the stone the next morning. After a spy reported that the stone was exactly where it had been left-this wasn't challenging because the lump in the mattress was so high that Kadar was amazed Brunhilda hadn't seen it-it was decided to send her home as soon as was politely possible.
Thank you for reading and please review.
Sign # 3 that you are a bookworm: You definitely need a new book case because your books are stacked up three rows to a shelf but all of your walls are covered in bookshelves already.
Two weeks later, the castle was in an uproar of preparation. Princess Brunhilda has accepted the invitation and agreed to come with a small delegation immediately. Kadar himself selected a suite of modest but comfortable chambers and instructed a discreet servant to place the selected stone-which greatly resembled a globe-underneath the princess's mattress the day she arrived.
....................................
Kadar yawned and wiped sweat off his face for the fourth time in seven minutes. He was wearing a particularly stylish (and thus particularly uncomfortable) court robe and waiting to greet princess Brunhilda in the throne room.
Finally, the sound of bugling reached his ears. He sighed in relief, hoping that after a few minutes discussion he could courteously-and conveniently-allow the princess to bathe and refresh herself before supper was served.
"Announcing her Royal Highness, Princess Brunhilda of Scranra," called the herald. Princess Brunhilda entered the room in regal procession and Kadar's jaw dropped.
"I hope for your sake she's as thick-skinned as she looks," whispered Kadar's friends, Hachel. Kadar normally admired truthful sentiments from his friends but at this statement his mind went to work planning things to put in his friends bed and his thinking ran more along the lines of slimly and squirmy than small and delicate.
He looked at Princess Brunhilda again, just to make sure his eyes weren't deceiving him. They weren't. She looked to be somewhere between three hundred and three hundred and fifty pounds. She had scraggily browning grayish hair that was unattractively greasy looking. A single gigantic eyebrow, as fuzzy as a caterpillar, graced her pimpled forehead. As she came closer Kadar could see that her nose was covered in warts. She seemed to have a mustache bushier than the one Kadar had tried to cultivate the previous summer. Kadar wanted to run away screaming.
Kadar wondered which councilor he ought to fire for even suggesting that he marry her. Kadar tried to keep an open mind and judge people by their personalities but she was really ugly. He wondered why he had heard rumors that she was extremely popular at court. When he saw a few of the noble-women accompanying her he understood. None of them were ugly, all of them were quite plain, but next to her they all looked drop dead gorgeous.
Kadar escaped from the throne room as soon as he could to weep in terror in his room before dinner. He prayed to every god he could think of, and a few that he had made up, that she wasn't the least bit sensitive.
At dinner Kadar discovered that while she was well-read and fairly intelligent, she had an awful sense of humor and the table-manners of a Stormwing. Kadar spent the evening trying to avoid being treated to a close- up demo of the early stages of the digestive system and trying to catch the wine glasses she knocked over with her enormous elbows before too much spilled. Kadar had to order the room to be aired out after the princess and her gaseous emissions went to bed.
Kadar nearly fainted with relief when the princess mentioned nothing about the stone the next morning. After a spy reported that the stone was exactly where it had been left-this wasn't challenging because the lump in the mattress was so high that Kadar was amazed Brunhilda hadn't seen it-it was decided to send her home as soon as was politely possible.
Thank you for reading and please review.
Sign # 3 that you are a bookworm: You definitely need a new book case because your books are stacked up three rows to a shelf but all of your walls are covered in bookshelves already.