Conversations In Rome- Origin
Summary: This takes place right after Angel S5 Origin. If you didn't see it and don't want to be spoiled, you've been warned.
I stand in front of the plate glass window and look out at the sun setting on the horizon. The room is bathed in golden light. I see this everyday and yet somehow I never get tired of it. I'm even more determined now that I don't take one single second of this precious privilege of standing in the sun for granted. I know we're not going to be at Wolfram and Hart forever. Our time here is limited and that's a good thing but I will miss the sun.
I smile and I think it's my first real smile in weeks, probably since we lost Fred. I can't help it. My son and I are okay. I'm not a part of his life, I never will be but I can live with that. He remembers I'm his dad and he's okay with that. Dare I even say he's proud of me? He's got a good life. He's happy. That's all I ever wanted for him.
Wes and Lorne are a little peeved that I messed with their memories. I am regretful that I had to do it, but watching Connor walk out of here by choice back to his normal, happy life, it was worth it all. I'd do it all over again. If that's wrong, then just add it to the list of sins I've racked up in 251 years.
The phone rings and I pick it up without a thought.
"Hello,"
"Angel,"
The smile I thought couldn't get any bigger, just did. "Buffy,"
"I was worried about you. The last time we talked you were pretty down but you sound better now," she says.
"I am. I-"I pause. Buffy doesn't know about Connor. She's never met him, there were no memories of hers to alter. Eventually I'll tell her about my son but it's not the sort of conversation you have on the phone with a woman you want to spend the rest of eternity with. "I helped a family tonight and it felt really good."
"You mean Connor?" Buffy says.
I swallow hard and fight to regain my words. She couldn't have known. My memories weren't messed with. She never met Connor. "H-how did-"
"Come on, Angel, 2 vampires having a living breathing baby, it's pretty big news on the demon grapevine," Buffy says.
My mind whirls with a million possibilities. Their memories were just returned a couple of hours ago. Word might get around but it can't get around that fast.
"I remembered a couple of hours ago. Dawn and I were walking down the street. I dropped my ice cream and the flowers I'd bought. It was a shock, remembering like that," Buffy says.
"I'm sorry. I didn't-you never said anything," I say.
"There wasn't time. I mean year before last I was kind of caught up in the whole poor me I got ripped out of Heaven, which to give myself credit pretty dramatic, and then there was the First. Besides, if you'd wanted me to know you would have told me," Buffy says.
"It's not that I didn't want you to know. I was going to tell you but there was never anytime for it. It's not exactly something you tell someone over the phone," I say.
"I know and I was pretty hurt by it. I was crushed actually. I always thought I'd be the one to have your babies-"Buffy pauses. Tears rush to my eyes and that old dream replays like film in my head.
"Anyway," she continues, "I couldn't exactly call you on it. That would be the kettle calling the teapot dirty or black, you get my point. I was doing the whole Spike thing, well not doing actually yes doing but-"
I interrupt her, not wanting to go over that period of her life, "I get the point."
"So, things are okay with Connor?" Buffy asks.
"Things are good with Connor. I'm not a part of his life and for his sake it's good that he's not a part of mine but I think he's proud that I'm his biological father. He's got a good life, Buffy. He's happy. Maybe I went about it the wrong way, but I did the right thing," I say.
"I understand. It's the same reason I took that swan dive, cuz really sorta not liking heights," Buffy says.
Just the mention of her death makes me slightly melancholic. She has no idea what that did to me. It changed me in ways I can't even begin to say but I know I am not same as I was before Buffy died, the second time. Actually I guess I wasn't the same after she died the first time. Buffy's deaths, Buffy's life always makes an impression on me.
"How's everything else at Evil Inc?" Buffy asks.
I chuckle. I wish she wouldn't refer to it like that but most of time I refer to it as Hell in my head so I guess her name isn't half bad. "It's- I don't know. They're trying to pull one over on me. I know that. They're up to something and I can't figure out what."
"Divide and conquer, Angel. They've been dividing. It's only a matter of time before they start with the conquering," Buffy says.
"Yeah, but I'm sort of hard to conquer," I remind her.
"That's not the way I remember it. All it took was a lollypop and some sunshine," she teases me.
I laugh. "Only you, somehow I don't think the Senior Partners are going to be quite as captivating as you are."
"You never know. Seriously though, I want you to be careful. Baking is happening and when it's done I want to come home," Buffy says.
Confusion crosses my face at her choice of words. I could read a thousand different things into that but with Buffy you never really know. It's best if I ask. "Home? Sunnydale is still a crater."
"Silly vampire, Home is where you are," Buffy says.
She has rendered me speechless yet again.
"Angel, you still there?" She asks.
"Yeah, you just sort of took my breath away," I say honestly.
"You have no breath to take away," she reminds me.
"And yet," I say, using her sort of phrasing.
I hear her smile over the phone. "You know you can not use my words," she teases.
"It made you smile big enough that I can hear it over the phone. I can so use your words if that's the reaction I get," I say.
She laughs. "Ok, so you can use my words. I'm gonna go. I'm glad the thing with Connor worked out and if you ever mess with my memories again, I will dress you up in Xander's clothes and make you sing campfire songs."
I swallow hard and chuckle hollowly to cover up the shock she's just given me. It's not the threat, it's that I've messed with her memories before. She just doesn't know it and hopefully she never will because I don't know how she'd take it. "It's a deal, although that might be more torture for you then me."
"I've got ear plugs," She replies. "Night, Angel."
She hangs up the phone and I wait until the line has gone dead. I put the phone back in the cradle and return to my spot at the window. I've got a battle coming and I've got to get Gunn back from a Hell dimension but my son and I are okay and home means me to the girl I love. Sometimes life is good.
Summary: This takes place right after Angel S5 Origin. If you didn't see it and don't want to be spoiled, you've been warned.
I stand in front of the plate glass window and look out at the sun setting on the horizon. The room is bathed in golden light. I see this everyday and yet somehow I never get tired of it. I'm even more determined now that I don't take one single second of this precious privilege of standing in the sun for granted. I know we're not going to be at Wolfram and Hart forever. Our time here is limited and that's a good thing but I will miss the sun.
I smile and I think it's my first real smile in weeks, probably since we lost Fred. I can't help it. My son and I are okay. I'm not a part of his life, I never will be but I can live with that. He remembers I'm his dad and he's okay with that. Dare I even say he's proud of me? He's got a good life. He's happy. That's all I ever wanted for him.
Wes and Lorne are a little peeved that I messed with their memories. I am regretful that I had to do it, but watching Connor walk out of here by choice back to his normal, happy life, it was worth it all. I'd do it all over again. If that's wrong, then just add it to the list of sins I've racked up in 251 years.
The phone rings and I pick it up without a thought.
"Hello,"
"Angel,"
The smile I thought couldn't get any bigger, just did. "Buffy,"
"I was worried about you. The last time we talked you were pretty down but you sound better now," she says.
"I am. I-"I pause. Buffy doesn't know about Connor. She's never met him, there were no memories of hers to alter. Eventually I'll tell her about my son but it's not the sort of conversation you have on the phone with a woman you want to spend the rest of eternity with. "I helped a family tonight and it felt really good."
"You mean Connor?" Buffy says.
I swallow hard and fight to regain my words. She couldn't have known. My memories weren't messed with. She never met Connor. "H-how did-"
"Come on, Angel, 2 vampires having a living breathing baby, it's pretty big news on the demon grapevine," Buffy says.
My mind whirls with a million possibilities. Their memories were just returned a couple of hours ago. Word might get around but it can't get around that fast.
"I remembered a couple of hours ago. Dawn and I were walking down the street. I dropped my ice cream and the flowers I'd bought. It was a shock, remembering like that," Buffy says.
"I'm sorry. I didn't-you never said anything," I say.
"There wasn't time. I mean year before last I was kind of caught up in the whole poor me I got ripped out of Heaven, which to give myself credit pretty dramatic, and then there was the First. Besides, if you'd wanted me to know you would have told me," Buffy says.
"It's not that I didn't want you to know. I was going to tell you but there was never anytime for it. It's not exactly something you tell someone over the phone," I say.
"I know and I was pretty hurt by it. I was crushed actually. I always thought I'd be the one to have your babies-"Buffy pauses. Tears rush to my eyes and that old dream replays like film in my head.
"Anyway," she continues, "I couldn't exactly call you on it. That would be the kettle calling the teapot dirty or black, you get my point. I was doing the whole Spike thing, well not doing actually yes doing but-"
I interrupt her, not wanting to go over that period of her life, "I get the point."
"So, things are okay with Connor?" Buffy asks.
"Things are good with Connor. I'm not a part of his life and for his sake it's good that he's not a part of mine but I think he's proud that I'm his biological father. He's got a good life, Buffy. He's happy. Maybe I went about it the wrong way, but I did the right thing," I say.
"I understand. It's the same reason I took that swan dive, cuz really sorta not liking heights," Buffy says.
Just the mention of her death makes me slightly melancholic. She has no idea what that did to me. It changed me in ways I can't even begin to say but I know I am not same as I was before Buffy died, the second time. Actually I guess I wasn't the same after she died the first time. Buffy's deaths, Buffy's life always makes an impression on me.
"How's everything else at Evil Inc?" Buffy asks.
I chuckle. I wish she wouldn't refer to it like that but most of time I refer to it as Hell in my head so I guess her name isn't half bad. "It's- I don't know. They're trying to pull one over on me. I know that. They're up to something and I can't figure out what."
"Divide and conquer, Angel. They've been dividing. It's only a matter of time before they start with the conquering," Buffy says.
"Yeah, but I'm sort of hard to conquer," I remind her.
"That's not the way I remember it. All it took was a lollypop and some sunshine," she teases me.
I laugh. "Only you, somehow I don't think the Senior Partners are going to be quite as captivating as you are."
"You never know. Seriously though, I want you to be careful. Baking is happening and when it's done I want to come home," Buffy says.
Confusion crosses my face at her choice of words. I could read a thousand different things into that but with Buffy you never really know. It's best if I ask. "Home? Sunnydale is still a crater."
"Silly vampire, Home is where you are," Buffy says.
She has rendered me speechless yet again.
"Angel, you still there?" She asks.
"Yeah, you just sort of took my breath away," I say honestly.
"You have no breath to take away," she reminds me.
"And yet," I say, using her sort of phrasing.
I hear her smile over the phone. "You know you can not use my words," she teases.
"It made you smile big enough that I can hear it over the phone. I can so use your words if that's the reaction I get," I say.
She laughs. "Ok, so you can use my words. I'm gonna go. I'm glad the thing with Connor worked out and if you ever mess with my memories again, I will dress you up in Xander's clothes and make you sing campfire songs."
I swallow hard and chuckle hollowly to cover up the shock she's just given me. It's not the threat, it's that I've messed with her memories before. She just doesn't know it and hopefully she never will because I don't know how she'd take it. "It's a deal, although that might be more torture for you then me."
"I've got ear plugs," She replies. "Night, Angel."
She hangs up the phone and I wait until the line has gone dead. I put the phone back in the cradle and return to my spot at the window. I've got a battle coming and I've got to get Gunn back from a Hell dimension but my son and I are okay and home means me to the girl I love. Sometimes life is good.