I can't believe I haven't written since October. School has been an
absolute nightmare (it definitely has a negative impact on my immune
system). But, I have finally finished by junior paper on the Lewis and
Clark expedition, which should be called the Clark and Lewis expedition
because Lewis was an alcoholic who spent his time criticizing Indians and
Clark was the one who actually got things done. All right, I confess I've
spent some time dabbling in poetry and sci-fi too, but really not much.
Hope you enjoy this episode. Credit goes to Tamora Pierce and also to the book A Barrel of Laughs and a Vale of Tears. (I can't praise this book enough. If it's true that laughter works you abdominal muscles reading this book daily for two weeks should give you a six pack.)
For the next princess, the councilors had to corner the servant who was assigned to cleaning the council room. They surrounded her as soon as she entered the room and refused to let her leave until she had pulled a name from the hat. This was even more traumatic than it sounds because the councilors' breakfast had consisted of garlic rolls and goat cheese and their breath was malodorous, to say the least. Fearing she would pass out in the stench, the young woman reached a trembling hand into the hat and clenched her fist around a scrap of paper. Unfortunately, she fainted while pulling her hand from the hat. Her fingers had to be pried apart before the old men could read the name on the crumbled parchment.
After a great deal of squinting and muttering they came to the conclusion that Princess Lucille was to be invited. They decided not to notify Kadar until 20 minutes before her expected arrival-they were sure they couldn't be fired, but they had begun to be concerned that Kadar would refuse to hire their sons.
21 minutes before Lucille's expected arrival Kadar was at archery practice with Hachel. The youngest councilor hobbled about behind Kadar and shoved a drugged handkerchief in front of his nose. Hachel tried to catch Kadar and attack the advisor; the advisor hit the ground and Kadar landed on top of him.
"Drinks at the bachelor party are on me," the councilor squeaked.
"Deal," grunted Hachel as he hefted Kadar onto his shoulders. "What do you want him wearing?"
12 minutes before Princess Lucille's arrival, Kadar awoke to find himself wearing elegant evening clothes. Hachel was trying to comb his hair. "I'm really sorry about this," Hachel stammered, "but I figured if I dressed you at least you wouldn't be in clothes 30 years out of style." Kadar glared up at his betrayer.
3 minutes before the Princess's arrival, Kadar grudgingly walked down the grand stairs and seated himself on the throne. He was not at all in good humor.
"Announcing the entourage of Princess Luc-" the herald called, but he was unable to finish her name because he collapsed into a wave of hysterical laughter. For some unknown reason, Kadar suddenly found this very amusing and began laughing uncontrollably.
They shouldn't have drugged him, Hachel thought, they should have known there would be side effects. Then, Hachel found himself stifling a giggle. The giggle could be stifled for long, moments later he was rolling on the ground in an agony of mirth.
The entire court, including the councilors, was in the same state as Princess Lucille walked into the throne room. She was a plump, cheerful brunette, and astonishingly enough, she didn't seem to be the least bit surprised by the behavior of the courtiers. In fact, her entire entourage was laughing as well-though they were clutching their bellies as if they found laughter painful. Lucille was the only one in the room not laughing, but she had a huge grin on her face and didn't seem to think that she was being laughed at.
"Greet-" Kadar gasped, "ings", he managed to finish.
"Hello," said Princess Lucille; her voice was beautiful, a heavenly blend of laughter and song. "You must be Emperor Kadar."
"So sorry," Kadar wheezed between gushes of laughter. "Don't know why I've suddenly lost control like this."
"Its perfectly all right," she answered. "Everyone near me always laughs; its terribly exhausting for all the servants and my family. I'm cursed you see."
Kadar didn't see; without pausing in his laughter, he shot her an inquisitive glance.
"Well, my fairy godmother didn't mean for it to be a curse. She was trying to help my mother who didn't have much of a sense of humor and almost never laughed. My fairy godmother thought it would be good for my parents to laugh more. So, she declared that anyone who came near me would laugh. I've never seen anyone who wasn't laughing in my entire life.
"All my father's subjects come to see me when they are depressed so that they can laugh awhile and forget their troubles. I'm quite happy making people happy; but you won't want to marry me, which is why I was invited. I'll be leaving quite soon. I'm afraid I won't be staying for dinner tonight because you would be unable to stop laughing in order to eat."
"I'm. terribly sorry .you came. all this way," Kadar grunted.
"Oh, that's all right," she told him. "I love traveling. And besides," she winked at him, "I seem to have done your councilors a great deal of good." She had, many of the elderly councilors had been unable to stand prolonged laughter and had passed out from oxygen deprivation.
Lucille, Hachel, and Kadar grinned at each other. Then Lucille waved goodbye and scurried from the room.
Sign # 10 that you are a bookworm: You refuse to go anywhere without at least one book (ten or so are required for longer car trips).
Thank you for reading and please review! Reviews can turn a mediocre day into a great day in 30 seconds, especially on Mondays.
Hope you enjoy this episode. Credit goes to Tamora Pierce and also to the book A Barrel of Laughs and a Vale of Tears. (I can't praise this book enough. If it's true that laughter works you abdominal muscles reading this book daily for two weeks should give you a six pack.)
For the next princess, the councilors had to corner the servant who was assigned to cleaning the council room. They surrounded her as soon as she entered the room and refused to let her leave until she had pulled a name from the hat. This was even more traumatic than it sounds because the councilors' breakfast had consisted of garlic rolls and goat cheese and their breath was malodorous, to say the least. Fearing she would pass out in the stench, the young woman reached a trembling hand into the hat and clenched her fist around a scrap of paper. Unfortunately, she fainted while pulling her hand from the hat. Her fingers had to be pried apart before the old men could read the name on the crumbled parchment.
After a great deal of squinting and muttering they came to the conclusion that Princess Lucille was to be invited. They decided not to notify Kadar until 20 minutes before her expected arrival-they were sure they couldn't be fired, but they had begun to be concerned that Kadar would refuse to hire their sons.
21 minutes before Lucille's expected arrival Kadar was at archery practice with Hachel. The youngest councilor hobbled about behind Kadar and shoved a drugged handkerchief in front of his nose. Hachel tried to catch Kadar and attack the advisor; the advisor hit the ground and Kadar landed on top of him.
"Drinks at the bachelor party are on me," the councilor squeaked.
"Deal," grunted Hachel as he hefted Kadar onto his shoulders. "What do you want him wearing?"
12 minutes before Princess Lucille's arrival, Kadar awoke to find himself wearing elegant evening clothes. Hachel was trying to comb his hair. "I'm really sorry about this," Hachel stammered, "but I figured if I dressed you at least you wouldn't be in clothes 30 years out of style." Kadar glared up at his betrayer.
3 minutes before the Princess's arrival, Kadar grudgingly walked down the grand stairs and seated himself on the throne. He was not at all in good humor.
"Announcing the entourage of Princess Luc-" the herald called, but he was unable to finish her name because he collapsed into a wave of hysterical laughter. For some unknown reason, Kadar suddenly found this very amusing and began laughing uncontrollably.
They shouldn't have drugged him, Hachel thought, they should have known there would be side effects. Then, Hachel found himself stifling a giggle. The giggle could be stifled for long, moments later he was rolling on the ground in an agony of mirth.
The entire court, including the councilors, was in the same state as Princess Lucille walked into the throne room. She was a plump, cheerful brunette, and astonishingly enough, she didn't seem to be the least bit surprised by the behavior of the courtiers. In fact, her entire entourage was laughing as well-though they were clutching their bellies as if they found laughter painful. Lucille was the only one in the room not laughing, but she had a huge grin on her face and didn't seem to think that she was being laughed at.
"Greet-" Kadar gasped, "ings", he managed to finish.
"Hello," said Princess Lucille; her voice was beautiful, a heavenly blend of laughter and song. "You must be Emperor Kadar."
"So sorry," Kadar wheezed between gushes of laughter. "Don't know why I've suddenly lost control like this."
"Its perfectly all right," she answered. "Everyone near me always laughs; its terribly exhausting for all the servants and my family. I'm cursed you see."
Kadar didn't see; without pausing in his laughter, he shot her an inquisitive glance.
"Well, my fairy godmother didn't mean for it to be a curse. She was trying to help my mother who didn't have much of a sense of humor and almost never laughed. My fairy godmother thought it would be good for my parents to laugh more. So, she declared that anyone who came near me would laugh. I've never seen anyone who wasn't laughing in my entire life.
"All my father's subjects come to see me when they are depressed so that they can laugh awhile and forget their troubles. I'm quite happy making people happy; but you won't want to marry me, which is why I was invited. I'll be leaving quite soon. I'm afraid I won't be staying for dinner tonight because you would be unable to stop laughing in order to eat."
"I'm. terribly sorry .you came. all this way," Kadar grunted.
"Oh, that's all right," she told him. "I love traveling. And besides," she winked at him, "I seem to have done your councilors a great deal of good." She had, many of the elderly councilors had been unable to stand prolonged laughter and had passed out from oxygen deprivation.
Lucille, Hachel, and Kadar grinned at each other. Then Lucille waved goodbye and scurried from the room.
Sign # 10 that you are a bookworm: You refuse to go anywhere without at least one book (ten or so are required for longer car trips).
Thank you for reading and please review! Reviews can turn a mediocre day into a great day in 30 seconds, especially on Mondays.