His True Love

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult or adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Author's Note: You know I have a feeling Don is trying to take over this fic? Irritating turtle most the time I let him be to do his own things and he has never butted in before but NOW is a different story all together. Oh well I have a feeling Raph won't take it lying down. I'll let the two of them work it out on their own.

Thanks for the reviews.

Chapter Eleven – Secret Revealed.

DONATELLO:

Of course I did have to put up with a little ribbing from both Mike and Raph, and I had expected as much and for the most part they were easy to ignore, as they weren't being too bad at the moment.

I knew though once Jen was gone that the two of them would be less likely to hold back.

What mattered most though to me was that Splinter, Mike and Raph seemed to approve of Jen and Leo was slowly coming around and easing up as he learned a bit more about her and the time we had spent together.

Of course I saw Karena whisper a few things to Leo and I had a feeling that between her and our Master there would be no need of fireworks happening later. I knew Leo might oppose a stranger coming here but once he got to know Jen his ninja instincts would quickly reassure him that she wasn't any real threat to his family.

As we ate I noticed Ramiela watching Jen and I with much interest and doing her best to be inconspicuous about it as possible, unfortunately she needed to learn a great deal more of ninja subtlety before being able to manage such a thing with any degree of perfection.

Dinner was almost relaxing as Leo had to pay far more attention to Aiden who was typically, for the two year old, trying to throw his meal dish and all to the floor now that he was done with it.

Throwing his dishes to the floor was Aiden's way of announcing he was finished with it and Leo didn't care for the mess it made so he would prevent it from happening sometimes needing to keep his ninja skills well honed just to insure his son put one over on him.

Ramiela piped up with " So you two going get married soon Uncle Donatello?"

I saw Jen duck her head and blushed a bit.

" Ramiela!" Mike snapped.

Rama flinched a bit then glanced at her dad " What?" she demanded, " What did I say?"

Mike glowered at her " We'll talk later now hush."

" I didn't do anything wrong" Ramiela protested as she stared sulkily at the remains of her meal.

I tried to hide a smile I knew that Mike wasn't really mad at her in spite of his sharp tone; he just wanted her to be a bit more attentive of what she said.

After all Jen was a guest and Ramiela was aware that we did our best not to make guest feel uncomfortable while in our home, but being young she had a rather difficult time of grasping the 'whys' of our guest rule or what made it so important to adhere to it.

" Ramiela Jennifer and I are only good friends. We haven't discussed it any further," I explained trying to let her know that I understood her curiosity and that there really wasn't any need for hard feelings between us. I figured Mike would explain the rest later.

" I know Leo and Karena married but that doesn't mean it is right for Jen and I or that we even want to, okay?"

" Okay" she whispered, " I'm sorry."

I had a feeling she wasn't quite sure why she was saying it but she obviously knew an apology was needed and so offered it.

Jennifer gave her an endearing smile " It is all right. You were only asking a question, you didn't know."

Ramiela looked up and smiled at Jen as if grateful for her kind words and understanding.

I had a feeling that Jen felt very drawn to all of the children. I figured that might only be a natural thing, as I recalled Karena had been the same way with Ramiela when she was just a guest in our home.

I sighed as I looked at Ramiela still totally amazed at how quickly she seemed to be growing up and I knew she was attached to most of the family except for me.

Splinter was full of stories to tell to amuse her. Leo, her Sensei she tried so hard to please in every way. Raph her favourite play mate when Jessie or her father couldn't spend time with her and then there was her dad.

Ramiela loved her father and he was just as crazy about her it was hard to say who had the other more wrapped around their fingers but I did know Mike could entertain and amuse his daughter for hours on end. This was no small feat when one considered how quickly Ramiela became distract by other things around her.

I knew I didn't have much of a bond with my oldest niece. As far as she was concerned I was one of her Uncles and a schoolteacher who insisted she sit at a desk and pay attention to lessons for hours on end, which was far too confining for her free spirit.

She might have willingly done this hard task for someone she liked but Ramiela didn't care for me in that way and I knew it.

I supposed it was my own fault as I immersed myself in projects of my own I never bothered to play or spend much time with her when she was little.

Of course she wasn't allowed in my lab when she was younger, and now was only allowed in there for our science period so there hadn't been much of a chance for us to connect in the way she had with the rest of the family.

I figured a young child had little to offer me infant to young children aren't exactly great conversationalist; we had little in common on any level.

So it was rather rare when I took time to play with her and then I did so only for short periods before returning back to my work.

Not that I didn't delight in her growing stages or worry about her when she fell ill it was just we were on two separate levels and playing wasn't my thing.

One of the greatest games I had ever played with her was mistaking her for my staff. I'd allow her to climb onto my carapace and cling to the edges, then I would suddenly reach over my shoulder take a hold of her and swing her out in front of me grabbing her before she fell. Then I would act surprised that she wasn't my trusty weapon.

It was a game she loved and never tired of but I grew bored with all too quickly so would draw it to an end long before she was ready to call it quits.

Knowing I would one day be teacher to Aiden and Kaliann I was trying my best to learn from my mistake and spend a bit more time playing with them in hopes it would help my situation later on. Of course it did little to help me bridge the gap between Ramiela and myself.

After dinner I invited Jen into my lab.

When I had first seen this place I had laid claim to one of the larger rooms for my lab space. I had boxes full of containers with nails, screws and all sorts of wires and other necessary small supplies for building or fixing whatever I needed, that were stored in cupboards and book shelves others had thrown out.

I had a desk along one wall where my computer sat and beside it a bookcase full of books and software programs. Along the far wall was my bed, and the wall opposite from the computer desk and book case had a long counter, with a sink in one corner of it, where I could help Ramiela with her science work or made my own chemicals and potions that we needed.

A desk in the middle of the room with a large lamp overhead provided adequate lighting and workplace for any of the numerous projects I had on the go at any given time.

It looked a little disorganized but the fact of the matter was I knew exactly where everything was.

Jen gazed at some of the stuff I was working on and shook her head " Where do you find time for all of this Don?"

" It isn't all that hard to come by my family pretty much leaves me alone to do my thing" I explained gesturing for her to sit in the computer chair while I went over to the long counter and pulled out a stool from under it for me to sit on.

" This is what I do with my spare time, create plan, build. My hobby you might say."

" So this is what you really do other then teach and practice huh?" Jen said her eyes scanning the room.

" Yeah and of course a bit of time with my family."

" Ever feel lonely when you are in here doing your thing?" Jen asked gently.

" No sometimes I get too lost in this stuff here Jen. I lose all track of time," I admitted freely.

" Then you want more out of life Don?"

" More like what Jen?" I asked trying to figure out what it is was she was getting at.

" Are you escaping, avoiding or just doing this because it is what you love?" She asked me calmly.

" A bit of all three I guess. Doing this stuff often helps me get my mind off how alone we all are and how isolated we happen to be due to our circumstances. My brothers are often only reflections of my own loneliness" I tried to explain though I didn't know if Jen could fully understand what I was getting at.

How does one explain a life of exile?

" Doing the things I do in here helps me to center myself and helps me feel that I'm doing something worthwhile that I'm not wasting my life." I concluded.

Jennifer nodded " Don let me tell you something family ought to come first, especially when they mirror your own pain."

" I care about my family Jen. I love them all but none of them quite understand me."

" A loner by choice by intellect and yet maybe it is because you are only running away." Jen replied.

I considered her words in silence knowing there was many ways I could answer that statement.

" Splinter once told me that one teaches best what he most needs to learn. If that is true why do you teach this?"

" I teach it because perhaps I do need to learn from it and my own past experiences. I haven't told you this before Don but I think its time."

I leaned forward on my stool attentive to her knowing that she felt a need to speak of this and yet also sensing that it would bring her some pain. However I also knew that some of the deepest wounds needed to be cleaned through a bit of pain and discomfort, especially wounds that have long been neglected.

" I was married once before Don" Jennifer began slowly hesitantly.

This was a surprise to me in all the time I had known her she had only implied of a previous relationship that had gone wrong, never had she told me that relationship had been marriage.

" I was into computers even in High school took a few extra courses after I graduated my fiancé who, I had met when I had been in High school was going to law school. We married when I was twenty. We had a baby girl shortly after I turned twenty one we named her Nicole."

I saw tears starting to brim in her eyes and stood up " Jen you don't have to…" I began not wanting to see her hurt like this.

" No I do have to Don. I have to be honest with you and I know we can't go further if I keep this to myself" she snapped a bit.

She was determined to do this though I sensed the pain it brought her I turned " One moment Jen."

I went and got her a cold glass of water and a box of Kleenex she immediately took a tissue and dabbed at her eyes drying the few tears that had started to spill over and down her cheeks.

She reached out with a shaky hand and took the glass taking a long sip as I sat down and took her free hand in mine.

" I'm listening now Jen. I'm here for you and if there is any thing I can do for you let me know," I pleaded as I rested my other hand on her knees. It was all I could offer her at the moment.

" Nicole died of SIDS shortly before her first birthday" Jen admitted allowing her tears to fall she started to rock a bit in her chair.

My heart was torn at the pain the memory alone was inflicting upon her and got up to kneel by the chair staying close to her offering her what little comfort I could.

" If this is too much for you right now Jen."

" No! I started it I'm going to finish it!" Jen gasped and sniffed a bit. She took a couple of deep breaths.

" I shut myself off from friends after she died. I couldn't handle being in the house alone so I threw myself into work." She paused and took another long sip of her water.

" Slowly work seemed to take over, it became my escape, though I didn't realize it then. I wasn't spending the time with Jordan, my husband that I should have and he started having an affair.

We were fighting and growing further apart by the day."
I had a feeling I knew what was coming from the sounds of it the once happy home and family had ended in a divorce and I wasn't too shocked when Jen said so.

The marriage was over by the time she was twenty three and having lost so much and feeling there wasn't much else for her she threw herself into her work making more of a name for herself.

She finally decided to move far away from home to start fresh.

I took Jen into my arms hugging her close as she finished her tale, I allowed her to cry a long while on my shoulder as I held her close seeking to sooth the old pains and hurts that still troubled her after all this time.

" Jen I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say."

" It was my fault Don if I had put Jordan first maybe …" Jen sobbed.

" Your marriage could have been salvaged? Possibly it could have if you both wanted it and were willing to work for it Jen. You buried your pain one way. He buried his another way" I insisted, " It isn't just your fault or your guilt to bear."

" Wasn't it Don? Sometimes I have to wonder about it. I mean if I hadn't…" Jennifer sat on the chair her body doubled over her head resting on my shoulder.

" Jen both of you lost a great deal when your daughter died, you were both young. We are all responsible for our own actions. You aren't responsible for his but grief can do terrible things to all of us." I kissed her tenderly and stroked her hair. " Why did you bring this up now though Jen?"

She sat back and looked into my face, her make up slightly smudged and her eyes a bit puffy from her tears.

" It has been so long since I have even wanted to look beyond work to any kind of life outside of it Don. You in many ways are helping me out of that."

Her isolation had been brought upon by an extreme case of pain and suffering, in many ways so was my own self inflicted isolation brought upon by the pain and loneliness that surrounded me.

We weren't all that different after all. Even when we cut ourselves off from what we wanted to avoid we had both set about doing something that required intelligence and might be put to good use some where at some time.

" I had to let you know and be honest with you, because I love you Don and you have a right to know. Especially if our relationship is to go any further then what it is now".

I sat back on my heels totally stunned.

Jennifer loved me and she wanted our relationship to go further?

I guess in many ways I had been secretly hoping longing for that same thing and yet it was always more of a subconscious hope then something immediate to me.

Still I couldn't help put feel a bit thrilled that Jen cared for me that much but I knew also that time to overcome what had passed before.

TBC