Adjustment – Part V
They all walked through the house curiously. After walking through the door in the garage it led to a small room with three arches in it leading in different directions. One door led to a hallway going to the kitchen with a bathroom on the side through a door off the hallway and after the kitchen was the dining room. Through the middle arch there was a longer hallway with a lot of closets off of the sides. On the other side there was a long staircase which led to three bedrooms and a bathroom. If you continued walking past the stairs there was a large room with a lot of space that would be used as the workout room. Off to the left of that down a short corridor was the living room with a couch and surround sound television unassembled in the corner in boxes. Then at the end of that hallway if you continued straight instead of going into the living room there was a set of five stairs leading down into a small hall with a sliding door across the doorway with a large bathroom off to one side and to the other was a large bedroom. Silently everyone knew Faith had already claimed that room as her own. Through the third arch was a small library area with a large wooden desk and leather couch in the back corner.
"Not bad," Kennedy commented as then finished looking through the house. They were all a little shocked at how nice it was, including Giles.
"No," Giles agreed.
---
They had arrived at around two in the morning at the new place and they all had found their rooms and Buffy, Dawn, and Giles made due with the couches. Faith took the secluded room down the five stairs, Xander had the bedroom all the way down the hall to the left upstairs, Willow and Kennedy took the middle room, and Wood took the room all the way to the right. Although there was nothing that had to be done the next day, all of them found themselves awake before eight o'clock. Xander and Dawn left to get bagels and coffee and Andrew, Giles, Buffy, Kennedy, and Willow waited around the kitchen. Giles left and went to the small office area which was going to be for some of his books and files to make a vague plan of where he might put everything. Wood had walked downstairs and noticing that Faith wasn't in the kitchen he walked past them and down the hall to her small wing.
He slid the wooden door open and walked into the dark hallway. There was a lamp in the far corner by the door to the bathroom but the light-bulb was about to die so it was extremely dim. He went to the right towards her bedroom door and knocked. There was no answer so he assumed she was asleep and he opened the door with a loud creak. She was lying in the middle of the bed looking out of the large skylight with a black bra and black jeans on with her hair still wet from the shower. She glanced over at him walking into the room but didn't really move. He was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, black boots and a white, ribbed tank top as he approached the bed.
"Hey," he greeted softly as he reached the end of the bed. She propped herself up on her elbows and looked up at him. He could feel her eyes staring him up and down as he stood there trying to maintain his confidence. "How'd you sleep?" he finally said unable to handle the silence anymore.
---
"We're back," Xander called as he and Dawn walked into the house. He carried a bag of bagels and a tray of coffees in the other and Dawn carried the second tray of coffees. Giles heard them come in and entered from the office. "Breakfast is served," Xander stated proudly as he set the bag down on the counter.
"Yes!" Kennedy said approaching the bag anxiously helping them distribute everything.
"Where's Faith and Robin Hood?" Xander asked sarcastically.
"He went into her room to wake her up a while ago," Andrew said with a raise in his eyebrows as he said 'a while'.
"Hey, I think I figured it out," Willow called from the living room. Xander and Dawn didn't know what she was talking about until music surrounded the house. The Chili Peppers, "Under the Bridge" played confidently through the rooms without being too loud.
"I'll go get them," Xander said.
"I don't-" Buffy began.
"I don't want their coffee to get cold," he answered walking down the hallway without giving Buffy a chance to protest.
---
"Come here," she said sitting up further so she was sitting at the end of the bed with her legs hanging down off of it. He walked up to her so that he stood between her legs. She looked up at him with her eyes looking into him with a strange hunger in them. He could feel her hot breath against his stomach and he immediately felt aroused at the memory of their night together. He looked down at the similar black bra and asked,
"This close enough?" She shook her head in response putting her arms around his neck and drawing him into her. He pushed his hands down onto the bed to keep himself balanced as he stood with his legs pushed against the bed with hers teasing them by being just around them without touching. She pulled him into a fierce kiss not letting him go till he was completely out of breath. She ran one hand along his cheek and the other across the waistband of his jeans. He looked down at her waiting for him and with a final urging from her tugging slightly at the button on his jeans he pushed his hands underneath her hips and pushed her further up the bed. She pulled him down on top of her and he hovered above her as he kissed her with one hand balancing himself above her next to her head while he kept the other under her hip pulling her up to him rhythmically.
Xander knocked for good measure but proceeded into the room without even a momentary hesitation for a response. Xander clenched his jaw in anger as he walked in seeing the two of them on the bed. Faith pushed him away from her and sat up leaning on her arms with obvious frustration in her features.
"What?" she asked angrily. He shook his head in disgust at Wood then said snidely,
"Foods here," in response to Faith's question keeping his tone friendly enough, although incredibly sardonic, to make it sound as though he had just walked into any room to tell someone their breakfast was ready.
"What's your problem?" Wood asked angrily climbing off of the bed. Xander ignored him and turned to leave. He quickly walked up to him and shoved his arm so he would turn and face him.
"Hey!" Faith reprimanded as she saw him grab Xander's arm.
"What the hell is yours?" Xander asked angrily.
"You think you can just barge in here like that? Don't you have any respect?"
"For her," he answered, "obviously something you're lacking." Robin stood defensively, Xander's words hitting a sore nerve.
"If you have something you'd like to say to me, Xander, say it."
"Could you two get a fucking life?" Faith asked in an extremely pissed off tone. She got up off the bed and grabbed a white tank top putting it on as she walked out of the room without either of them. "Do us all a bloody favor."
Faith walked into the kitchen alone, that was the first bad sign, then she grabbed her coffee, which she noticed had 'bitch' scribbled on the top by
Xander for marking purposes, and slid the suburban keys off of the counter. As the other two exited Faith's room and were standing in the dim corridor they could now be heard from the kitchen yelling back and forth.
"Wanna go for a ride, B?" Faith offered ignoring the angry yells.
"Sure," she answered quickly grabbing her coffee and following Faith out of the house. She gave everyone a concerned look and they returned it with a look assuring her they would take care of the problem.
"You know what, fuck you, you don't love her!" Xander yelled in his face.
"How the hell do you know?"
"Whatever," he answered trying to walk away. Robin once again grabbed his arm and Xander added, "you obviously have never really been in love, because if you had, you'd know that's nothing close."
"Oh, so you're Mr. Experience when it comes to love," Wood mocked.
"I loved Anya, and I still love Anya – I know what it feels like to be in love with someone and if you call what's going on between you and Faith love, you're just a moron."
"A moron?" he asked angrily.
"It's a two way thing," he answered, "she doesn't love you – but don't feel bad, she doesn't love anyone, but you gotta get that because you can't go around pretending you're in love when really she doesn't care…"
"Shut up, you don't know what you're talking about and-"
"Whatever," he answered again turning to leave.
"No, I want to know what gives you the right to judge how I feel about her. It has nothing to do with you, and you still think you get to barge in and make it seem like what's going on is wrong."
"It is!"
"Why?"
"Guy's knock it off," Willow said as she approached with the others.
"Why is it fucking wrong?"
"Because you don't fucking care about her!"
"How do you know?"
"The only thing you're interested in is getting into her pants!"
"Guys, stop!" Kennedy yelled matching their volume.
"You don't love her!" Xander yelled again ignoring Kennedy and Willow. Kennedy grabbed him and pulled him away from the argument hoping to dissipate the tension.
"I never said I did!" Wood finally defended. Everything seemed to just stop at what he said and for the first time everyone began to see why Xander had been so against this. Kennedy let go of his arm and just stood behind him now struck by thoughts just racing through her head.
"A nice guy like you is just what she fucking needs," Xander answered now in a calm tone knowing he had finally gotten his point across to everyone.
"I also never said I didn't want to," he answered defending himself again. He knew Xander had gotten him to say exactly what he wanted him to say and he felt like he had just been kicked down. "I guess you'd be a lot better for her… you know, a guy who after his girlfriend, who he left at the alter, but remember, he loved her," he mocked speaking more to everyone else rather than directly to Xander, "who was just killed is already looking to 'love' someone new."
The room once again fell into silence as Xander felt the words cut through him. Kennedy looked over at Willow nervously before returning back to Xander.
"I never said anything about me and Faith," Xander clarified holding his voice as steadily as he could.
"But you're such a nice guy," Robin answered condescendingly.
"I have absolutely no interest in delving into that mass of emotional trauma," he stated angrily, "and I never said anything about me and Faith!" he repeated this time screaming again.
"Yeah, but you seem to have everything to say about me and her."
"I don't like seeing my friends with people who I know are going to hurt them," he answered firmly. His tone was strong and clear and left no mistake that he had just ended this conversation.
---
"So…" Buffy finally said after ten minutes of driving without a single word being spoken between either of them. The radio was blasting through the vehicle as they sped down the highway. Buffy leaned forward and turned down the volume so there would be no way Faith could pretend she hadn't heard her. "So…" she repeated.
"What's up, B?" Faith finally answered.
"Now I've gotta ask, what's the deal between you and Wood?"
"There's no deal," she answered with a nonchalant shrug.
"So Xander lost it walking in on you two talking?" she asked sardonically.
"No, see, you should know me better than that, B, if we had been talking there would've definitely been a 'deal', but there isn't, so it was just simply screwing," Faith clarified. "Well, it would've been…" she added admitting when Xander had come in.
"So you two aren't…" Buffy questioned trailing off at the end.
"Together?" Faith asked laughing, "me and together-ness don't really mix, B. Been there, done that, got the tee-shirt – I'm done with that crap."
"You need someone," Buffy said definitely crossing that unseen line that she had never even approached before.
"What I need is a good slay, a quick screw, a date with my boy J.D., and I'll be just fine," Faith stated firmly.
"You need someone, Faith. You're lonely and you're-"
"I don't need anyone!" Faith snapped at her. "And besides, who are you to tell me I need someone when you don't have anybody."
"Faith, you have a hell of a lot more baggage then I do, and I do have somebody."
"Oh, well aren't you lucky," Faith answered with a smug grin.
"I'm leaving at the end of the week to fly out to L.A. to see Angel for a little while…" With all kidding aside Faith answered,
"Tell him I said hey." Buffy nodded knowing that Faith cared about Angel a lot, he was someone that Faith admitted to caring about, and that meant a lot coming from her.
---
"Xander?" Willow asked delicately walking into his room. He was sitting on his bed deep in thought. "Are you okay?"
"Are you happy?"
"What?"
"Are you happy? Are you happy with Kennedy?"
"I am," Willow answered honestly taking a seat next to him on the bed. He nodded and answered,
"Then I'm okay." She smiled and patted his knee,
"It gets better."
"I just…"
"What?"
"Nevermind…"
"What…" she urged.
"I don't want to upset you-"
"Xander, what?"
"I just don't know how you do it… I know you're not over Tara and you still love her, but how do you… how are you happy with someone else?" Willow felt herself tense slightly at the mention of Tara but she forced herself to relax again.
"It's hard," she admitted. "You care about her, don't you?" she asked confidently.
"No," he answered angrily getting up off of the bed. His reaction took her completely by surprise and she wasn't sure what to do. "Why would you say something like that?"
"I… it's just the way you act around her… it's not bad, Xander, it's really okay," she comforted.
"I don't have a thing for Faith, how the hell can I convince all of you of that?"
"Xander…"
"She's the kind of girl you fall for when you're seventeen and nothing but a mass of hormones, Will, I've outgrown her," he stated firmly. Willow couldn't help but feel bad about just sitting there and letting him dump on someone, who recently had been nothing but heroic and helpful.
"Outgrown, huh?" Faith asked from the doorway. She was leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed looking pensively over at the two of them on the bed. She rolled her eyes in disgust with a smile almost of relief and left the room that she had been planning to come and make peace in. She had a lot that she wanted to say to him – she was sure she wouldn't have been able to say it, but she thought that maybe if she put herself in the situation where she could she just might be able to say some of it. *To hell with that idea* she thought in a now, very pissed off mood.
---
"If that's what you would like to do that's perfectly fine," Giles answered to Robin knowing it would help ease the tension. He nodded,
"Thank you."
"It will be nice having another person helping with the move to the other house."
---
Giles entered the kitchen around noon time to make himself a cup of tea. Willow, Kennedy, Dawn, and Andrew had all just returned from the grocery store and the topic of conversation from their car ride had still remained strong as they unpacked everything. Faith walked into the kitchen and just kept to herself and did her own thing, helping them unpack without asking, just kind of grabbing things here and there and putting them away. Giles smiled at how helpful she was without making it look like she was even doing anything. *Heaven forbid she looks as though she's helping* he thought.
"…seriously, I think that was a big part of getting better at slaying," Kennedy continued.
"But you weren't training at that point, you were changed into a real slayer before you fought them…" Andrew argued.
"You're always training though, especially once you're actually a slayer," Dawn noted, still not taking any particular side.
"Faith, maybe you can help us settle this…" Willow said turning towards her. Faith stood there with a Corona in her hand and a lighter and an unlit cigarette in the other.
"I'm usually the one they call in to instigate a fight," she reminded Willow, "not to settle things."
"No, you can help," Kennedy assured, "it's your area."
"Now I'm scared," Faith joked raising her eyebrows. They laughed and Willow continued,
"What do you think was the most influential experience you had that made you a good slayer?" Faith smirked and asked,
"So I'm a *good* slayer now?" she joked.
"Faith," Giles said in an almost scolding tone. Faith tossed him a confused glance and he answered, "I think we should talk later," in a tone that didn't arouse much attention but got his point across.
"So what was it?" Dawn urged never having had this type of conversation with Buffy.
"It doesn't have to be a specific example or anything…" Andrew stated excitedly.
"Getting your ass kicked," she answered honestly. They all looked at her hazily and Kennedy finally asked,
"What do you mean?"
"You're not a good slayer until you've had your ass handed to you and you can still get up and fight again…"
"But you're a slayer… no one can beat you."
"That's funny," Faith answered with a laugh. "You obviously haven't really been beaten up."
"Oh come on," Kennedy said confidently, "who is there, especially now, that can really beat up a slayer?"
"A slayer," Faith answered.
"Faith, are you corrupting the children again?" Buffy asked walking into the room.
"Nah, B, just telling them about the time you kicked my face in."
"Oh," she answered with a bit of concern.
"But it made you a better slayer," Kennedy stated questioningly.
"Yeah," Faith answered, "I think so. Mindset's half the battle…"
"So insightful," Buffy teased.
"Hey, you need to know you're the shit to fight well, but you also have to know in the back of your head that there are things that are just going to have fun fucking busting you up… and until you actually meet one of those things and fight it, no matter how many times you tell yourself they're out there, you don't really believe it."
"So you're saying knowing there are things that'll kill you makes you better?" Buffy asked not really grasping her point.
"No, knowing that and still facing off everything life throws at you is what makes you better," Faith answered. There was a brief pause in the room and Giles clearly was taken by what had just been said. It was interesting for him to see two girls, whom he had spent a lot of time training, both have their different perspectives on things, while still having quite similar views.
---
Faith sat comfortably on one of the counters in the kitchen drinking her fourth Corona since lunch. She looked out of one of the windows at the dark sky – she just sat there contently remembering all the nights she just thought about her life in jail staring at the stars in the sky. She had always liked thinking at night, when she could just zone out and blur her eyes as she watched the sky and forget about everything that had happened, but at the same time remember just as much. Even when she was little she remembered leaving reality behind and just watching the sky. She would also sit in her window and watch people walking back and forth – people were so funny if you just watched them.
Xander walked into the kitchen and directly towards the fridge looking up at Faith on the counter smugly.
"Drunk yet?" he asked condescendingly as he grabbed a beer out of the fridge.
"Hey, X-man, you look like you might be outgrowing those jeans there," she said sharply not giving him an inch. Xander immediately caught onto the whole 'outgrown' thing and it definitely bothered him, especially since it had been paired with a comment that attacked his already insecure self-image.
"Yeah, it's okay though – I don't mind being one of those people who grow," he answered walking out of the room and back up the stairs with his beer. Faith rolled her eyes at him and finished off the beer. She sat there again staring out of the window trying to not let herself think about anything.
"Faith," she heard Giles say firmly. She turned her head towards his commanding voice quickly and answered,
"Yeah, what's up?"
"Can I speak with you?" he asked in a way that wasn't very much like a question. She hopped off of the counter and followed him into the study. He sat at the desk chair and she went over to the couch.
"Comfy," she noted raising her eyebrows. Giles ignored her comment and continued,
"I've needed to talk with you since your return, but as can be easily understood, the time for it was never really available."
"What about?" she asked, "am I getting grounded or something?"
"We just need to discus some things, Faith."
"Like what?"
"Well, how are you feeling?"
"I am so not into the whole shrink thing," she said starting to get up.
"Faith, please," he said firmly causing her to sit back down. "I just need to talk over some things about the last couple of years, Faith."
"G, I don't really like going over the past…"
"What you did took a lot," he finally stated. "Admitting to your crimes and serving time was very impressive and you should be proud of yourself."
"I didn't even serve half of it – not so impressive anymore, is it?"
"You left to save Angel… the one person who never lost faith in you. He was the one person who kept you going through that painful time in your life. I can't imagine what it was like for you to come out of prison and have to fight Angelus."
"It was hard," she admitted. "He knew everything that Angel and I had ever talked about, he knew how I felt and how I acted, he looked the same and moved the same, but was completely different. But, I just have to accept the fact that I'm doomed to fighting people I don't really want to win against," she said before she even realized what she was admitting.
"You risked your life to beat Angelus without hurting Angel…" Giles continued knowing she wanted an out after her last comment.
"Well, generally I'm not into shit like that 'cause I see it that I'm more owed then owing, but in certain cases, I can admit that I definitely owe a little."
"Faith, I'm going to ask you again, and this time I want a real answer, how are you really feeling?"
"I don't know," she answered with a shrug. "I know that's not what you meant by a real answer, but it's all I got."
"What are you thinking? What are you feeling? What are you planning for your life?"
"You trying to write a case study on depression in Slayer's or something?"
"Faith, you have a bloody wall built around yourself and you don't let anyone in. You've been through a lot in the last few months and you just keep going like it's nothing."
"I just gotta keep going and everything is fine…"
"No it's not, Faith. You can't keep running away from your own feelings, eventually they're going to catch up."
"Yeah, like last time, right?" she asked recollecting bits of her past.
"Faith, that's not going to happen again – you've changed… God, you've changed so much, and it's all because you wanted to."
"Not everybody sees it that way," she muttered. Giles didn't respond he just looked at her waiting for her to continue. "What's his problem anyway?"
"Well, like the rest of us, he's going through a lot right now too. He's upset about Anya and it makes him a little illogical. He wants to protect but at the same time he needs to hurt in order to feel faithful."
"Whatever… you just gotta learn how to deal."
"Some might say the same to you," Giles answered.
"Hey, I'm not going around making stupid comments, and shooting people down for no reason-"
"Yes, but that's his way of dealing."
"I just do it differently, everyone deals with things differently."
"Yes, but Faith, you're not dealing at all… that's where the problem lies."
"I've got nothing to deal with – I'm fine," she answered standing up off of the couch.
"Of course you are, Faith," he muttered as she exited the office. She walked through the kitchen grabbing the last beer of the six pack, leaving the empty case in the fridge, and headed for her room. She knew she really wasn't fine – she could feel everything inside of her just triggering everything else and she found herself having to just stop and walk away from things before she could allow herself to just snap. She needed a release – everything was just building since… well since forever, but it was starting to pile up faster now. She smiled as she related it to playing Tetris the videogame and how once you got everything stacked up really high the last few lines before you lose just seem to pile up in no time at all. The last few days, between not being able to slay, dealing with tensions of being back with the Scoobies, having Xander stop her from having a good screw (twice!), and then on top of all of that, having to deal with that asshole cop. She was definitely ready to just explode at this po
int.
She grinned as she walked into her room and saw Robin sitting on her bed. He glanced up quickly at her as she walked in. She walked up to him and he started to get up as she approached but she pushed him back down and she slid her leg over him and sat on his lap facing him. She still held her Corona in her hand and she smiled mischievously at him with her lips only an inch or two away from his.
"What do you think the odds are that he'll be in here again?" she asked as she leaned down to kiss him. He dodged her kiss moving his face to the side and she noticed how he wasn't exactly pleased to have her sitting there either. "What's the matter with you?" she asked immediately defensive. He didn't answer with words or expression so she was left sitting there empty. She felt herself getting angrier by the second knowing now was not the time to be playing mind games with her. She leaned forward to kiss him, this time with her hand cradling his cheek trying to keep him from pulling away. He tried to push away but she held him firmly as she met his lips with hers.
"No," he said as he finally pushed her off of him as he stood up. She caught herself so she was sitting on the bed as he stood up.
"What do you mean, 'no'?" she asked angrily standing up.
"I don't want to do this," he answered clarifying what exactly was meant by the word 'no'.
"Then why the fuck were you in here?" she asked as she grabbed his shirt and threw him back down on the bed. He hit it with a thud that caused his anger to finally start running, which he had tried to avoid since he knew she would just feed off of it.
"Faith," he protested as he grabbed her waist as she climbed on top of him. He felt her take hold of his shoulder and he soon realized that he couldn't even move it with her holding him like that.
"Come on," she comforted kissing him teasingly with soft, quick kisses.
"Faith, knock it off," he demanded trying to push her off with his hand against her hip.
"What the fuck?" she asked holding herself over him, realizing he was definitely not just playing and that he wanted nothing to do with this. He pushed against her trying to get up and she quickly slammed him back down against the bed. He stopped pushing against her but he didn't submit to her either. With all of the emotions inside of her as painful as if they were fire, she clenched her teeth in frustration and with a final shove she got off of him and stood off of the bed grabbing her beer again. He got up slowly never taking his eyes off of her. If she thought she was about to explode before, now she definitely was.
"I guess you're not in the mood to talk," he said angrily standing up off of the bed.
"What the hell do *we* have to talk about?" she asked angrily and frustrated.
"I don't want you anymore," he stated.
"Excuse me?" she asked in disbelief. "Since when was this about what you wanted?"
"You're pissed off," he said trying to keep everything calm despite the fact that he had purposely hit that one completely exposed nerve of loneliness in her. "But, I'm not going to do anything unless you let me care about you, which, knowing you, you'd die before doing that. You won't let me be that person for you, so I'm not just going to be another asshole that uses you."
"Using *me*?" she asked laughing. "That's funny."
"Faith…" he said comfortingly trying to keep things from elevating.
"Whatever," she answered calmly as though she were completely indifferent about the whole thing but making it quite clear that she was definitely not into the whole comforting thing. He was torn between what to do – he knew he wasn't going to get anywhere talking with her now but bringing it up again later would probably not be an option either. She walked over to the windowsill and picked up a remote control from it and pressed a button turning on a surround sound radio that filled her room. The way it was set up she could also make it play in the hallway and the bathroom too. She tossed the remote back down on the windowsill then lit herself a cigarette. Wood decided he definitely wasn't going to get anywhere with trying to talk with her tonight so he turned begrudgingly and left the room.
---
"I think it would be really good for me," Kennedy explained as she crawled into bed next to Willow.
"I think you're thinking about it too much," Willow answered wrapping her arms around her lovers waist. "I don't want you all bruised up," she said protectively.
"But you heard her, it'll make me better, and I want to be as good as I can be," she continued.
"You're all going to start training again once things settle a little with the whole moving thing… then you'll go up against Buffy for a session, you know?"
"Yeah, but as much as she'll show me new moves and everything, she's not going to really fight me… at least not the same way Faith would."
"I don't think Faith would fight you," Willow stated. "Buffy might for training, but Faith wouldn't."
"Wait, I'm confused… why would Buffy do it and Faith wouldn't?"
"I don't know… it's just that Buffy knows she can stay in control in a fight… Faith's aware of how her temper gets in the way, and she loves you guys, she doesn't want to hurt anybody."
"But that's the thing, Buffy's going to stay in complete control and not give me any more than I can take – but Faith would kick my ass…"
"Buffy would give you a fight," Willow assured. "Honey, I know you really like Faith, and you respect her and everything, but you don't know her – you've seen her in battle against big bads and you've seen the way she fights; that same anger that you see when she's fighting evil, it doesn't really matter who she's fighting… she's-"
"I've heard you guys talk about the way she used to be – but God, give her a break!" she defended with a hint of anger in her tone, "she's changed, you admitted that, and you still say she can't control herself when all she's done lately is keep herself in check, and I must say, better than I've ever seen Buffy be able to."
"I still think you're taking her whole 'it's good to get your ass kicked' thing too seriously. She was probably just-"
"She's right," Kennedy pushed. "And as weird as it sounds, I kinda want to go up against them just to see where I stand, you know?"
"I get it," Willow admitted. "But try not to focus on it too much…"
"Baby, I'm a slayer," she declared, "fighting is my focus…"
---
(The Next Day)
"Buffy, could you go fetch Faith for the meeting?" Giles asked as he sipped at his morning tea. Everyone else had already joined around the kitchen, which was quickly becoming the gathering area.
"Yup," Buffy answered enthusiastically hopping off of the chair and walking towards Faith's room. She slid the wooden door open and could hear the low base music coming from her room. She knocked at the large door,
"Yeah?"
"Faith, it's me," she answered. She waited a minute for a further response but not getting one she figured she could just go in. She walked in and Faith was sitting on the bed up against the wall with her feet flat on the bed and her knees bent with her arms leaning against her legs. She was still dressed in what she had been wearing yesterday and she didn't look like she had slept at all. "Sleep okay?"
"Nah, not one of those good nights," she answered.
"Well, I see Jack showed up for your date," Buffy noted as she saw the half empty bottle of Jack Daniels on the table.
"The only good man I've ever met," she joked back.
"Yeah, you guys are going long-term now, huh?" Buffy added with a laugh.
"That's right," she answered.
"You feeling okay?" she asked seeing the pinkish tint to Faith's eyes and the darkness that surrounded them.
"Yeah," she answered turning and getting off of the bed. She stumbled slightly as she regained her leg strength, "now I am," she clarified having gotten her balance regained.
"Giles wants you to come into the kitchen – we're having a little meeting thing…"
"Oh goody," Faith mocked, "let's hurry, I don't want to miss a word of all that interesting stuff he likes to talk about!" The two of them laughed as they walked together through the dark hall and then up the few stairs to the contrasting bright hallway leading to the kitchen. Buffy remembered the feeling of walking next to Faith laughing lightheartedly about things – it was a good feeling. Things weren't completely back to the way they had been in the beginning, things had changed and both of them knew a lot more about each other now. Buffy couldn't just walk and pretend Faith was always fine anymore like she claimed to be, she knew she had been up all night drinking and that things had been plaguing her since she had showed up in Sunnydale the first time.
"Alright," Giles began as the two of them approached. "There are some things that we need to discus. I'll start with the Council. They're providing us with a steady flow of income, but I have no control over the amount. In other words, I can't tell that I need twice as much this month as last month; I just receive the same amount, or a different one depending on what they can send. As you can imagine, the uncovering of duplicate copies of the books that were destroyed in Sunnydale is a tedious and expensive process, which must hold priority over everything else for me to be responsibly upholding my position to the Council. What that means is that it would certainly help to keep the house in order if there were a few incomes coming into it."
"So you're saying we need to get jobs," Kennedy asked.
"Not everyone," he continued. "I need Willow to help me with the search for the books, Dawn can help too but she will be returning to school shortly. If no one has a job it will still be okay, but we just won't be able to buy more furniture, have a fully stocked bar," he said looking over at Faith, "we'll be fine but just a little more limited." Giles paused his speech and looked around at everyone. He took another sip of his tea and continued, "Also, since we are going to be the primary training facility in America, there will be occasional people coming in for various programs. The Council is sending someone by the name of Wendy Freck for final training in being a Watcher. She will be Kennedy's watcher under my supervision," he stated. Kennedy's expression changed instantly from indifference to anger,
"Why does she have to be my Watcher?" Kennedy asked. Faith raised her hand and added defending,
"Hey, we all know how well I do with new Watchers – don't give her to me. But why does Kennedy have to deal with one?"
"She's in training, once I see that she's fit as a Watcher she will be sent out to a newly called Slayer elsewhere."
"Is this one going to be evil too?" Buffy asked jokingly. She shot a look over at Faith and she answered,
"Hey! That's soo not funny." Buffy giggled then they both returned back to the seriousness of the meeting.
"About her arrival – we need to welcome her…"
"Yeah, about that," Faith began, "what are we supposed to do, 'hey, how was your flight, welcome to our place, find a couch'?"
"No there's an available bedroom."
"Did I miss one in the mini tour?" Faith asked.
"No, Robin will be staying at the other house for a while until we're done moving into it completely so she'll be staying in his room," Giles answered. Faith couldn't help but laugh at the complete ridiculousness of the situation. Xander tossed a look over to Robin and saw him just sitting in a chair with his eyes down at the ground. "On a different note," Giles began once again, "the three of you will begin your training again today," he said looking at the three Slayers. He amused himself at seeing the different expressions that crossed all three; Kennedy was immediately filled with excitement, Buffy was seemingly unaffected knowing it was her duty, and Faith practically groaned in response. "Is there anything else that anyone has to say?"
"Can the food labeling rule actually be enforced in this house?" Andrew asked tossing a glare in Faith's direction.
"Yeah, can it be extended to beer too?" Xander asked also throwing a look over at the slayer.
"Household disputes can be discussed amongst yourselves," Giles said not wanting to step in the middle. He did however note that it was obvious that Faith had been drinking all night, and so had Xander. He was debating about whether or not to intercede into this ongoing dispute between them, but he was going to try and let them figure it out on their own if it were possible. What he noticed was the most difficult about the situation was that both of them avoided confrontation as well as loved it, making it difficult for any positive negotiations.
"Robin, could I ask you and Andrew to pick up Miss Freck this afternoon from the airport?"
"No problem," he answered confidently.
"We need to leave early because we need to stop at the grocery store again," Andrew added. Robin laughed to conceal his tensions of being in the room and nodded.
"Very well," Giles answered, "girl why don't you change for training, and Willow you can begin setting up the computer in the office, I found that part you needed."
"Okay," she answered hopping off her chair, "Dawny, can you come help me?" she asked before heading towards the office. Dawn nodded and followed her.
"What do you need me to do?" Xander asked, feeling awkward as all of his old Zeppo feeling returned to him.
"Ah, yes," Giles answered, "there are still some things to be unpacked from the truck and I saw one of the panes in the window over there was cracked…"
"Okey doke," Xander answered immediately feeling better that there were some mindless tasks that needed to be done that would make him look as though he were doing things.
"I'll go get the equipment," Giles said leaving the room.
Xander walked out to the truck and started unloading some of the miscellaneous stuff that was still left in the back of it. He managed to organize the majority of it all right in the garage and on the shelves at the sides. He carried in the supplies he would need to fix the window, depending on how bad it was it might only be a temporary one. He went back into the house and into the training room. He saw Buffy and Kennedy standing by Giles and Faith sitting nearby on the floor with her knees drawn to her chest and her arms hugging her legs. They were all listening as he explained what they were going to begin with. Buffy was in spandex pants and a sports bra; Kennedy was wearing loose sweatpants and a tight workout top; and Faith was wearing baggy sweatpants and a fitted white tee-shirt.
"Giles, which window?" Xander asked.
"That one right there," he said pointing to the window in the corner of the room they would be training in.
"Oh," Xander answered knowing just how distracted he was going to be.
"Okay, all of you should be doing endurance training on your own along with some strength training. Kennedy, during these training sessions we touch on those two things but the main focus is on agility and technique." She nodded in understanding and the training begun, which Xander watched contently after seeing that the window repair was minimal and he could fix it practically without looking.
"Alright, to begin Buffy and Faith stand here." Faith pushed herself up and the two stood face to face about three feet apart. "Now I want one at a time for the two of you to do a kick over the others head and alternate keeping it as fast as you can balance with. Understand?" The two answered him by just beginning the exercise. Buffy took the first kick, her foot just barely making it over Faith's head.
"Sorry," she said quickly.
"Yeah, you will be," Faith assured her as she took her kick making sure only to make it as high as Buffy had.
"Both of you, higher," Giles said as he watched them. Kennedy watched anxiously both excited for her turn but also nervous about not being able to even stand next to either of the older slayers. "Okay," he said after about six minutes of them kicking. Both had started to work up a sweat and he added, "okay, now by varying degrees bring the kicks lower so the other has to duck." Faith took his orders and sent a roundhouse kick straight at the level of Buffy's face. She knew she wouldn't expect it so she stopped her foot quickly right before it made it's impact. Stopping the strength that was running through that kick caused her to lose her balance and she stumbled back. Without a word between them Buffy was one hundred percent aware of what Faith had just spared her. Xander had seen it too. He felt a chill go through him as he watched the two of them. Faith took more chances in her technique and left herself more exposed but she sent much more power into each attack so with one kick she would have t
he same effect as Buffy would in three. He found it so strange how you could practically see the anger in Faith start to bubble up from deep within. She was keeping herself completely in control but it was still obvious that there was anger and frustration behind each kick.
"Alright, G, enough of this foreplay shit, can we party here or what?" Faith asked finally stepping back form Buffy and towards him.
"Okay, Faith out, Kennedy step in." She did so and they continued the exercise. Faith sat down not really caring, she was just getting bored with the same kick over and over again and she wanted to fight. Xander looked over at her contently finding himself lost in his gaze. Since it wasn't a conscious stare he couldn't keep himself from feeling good about it. The next thing he knew he heard her ask,
"How's that window coming?" and his response without even thinking was a soft smile. It definitely caught her off guard and Giles noticed the entire exchange.
"Faith, pay attention," he reprimanded. "Okay, stop." He said to Kennedy and Buffy. Kennedy was drenched in sweat but still willing to keep going and Buffy was pretty out of breath. "Okay stretch out," Giles stated, "Buffy show Kennedy…" Buffy went with Kennedy over to the side and went through the stretching routine with her. *Ooo stretching* Xander thought childishly. "Faith you need to keep stretching that hip…" he continued speaking while still thinking. From both a serious car accident earlier in her life and her final battle with Buffy when she jumped from the building she had landed funny on one hip and it had healed but it was always a little stiffer than the other. "Xander, could you give us a hand for a moment?" he finally asked. Xander nodded quickly as if his teenage fantasy had just been answered and walked over to Giles and Faith. "Lie down on your back, Faith," Giles stated. She did so bending her right leg, the bad hip, and waited for Xander. "Okay, now you're going to hold her ankle… yes, like that," he guided as Xander did so. "Push her knee up to her chest but keep her knee bent completely… yes… now after a few moments bring her foot across her chest while keeping her knee right there…"
"Okay," he answered surprised at how comfortable he was. He pushed her knee towards her chest and felt her muscles tighten against it. He stopped and looked to her face for guidance. He could tell it hurt her by her expression.
"Keep pushing," she said softly as she tried to keep breathing through the pain. He pushed down harder and saw her face get tighter and tighter,
"I'll stop," he offered.
"No, don't stop," she said in the same tone, "you can just push it harder." He did as he was told until her knee touched her chest. He was leaning down on top of her as she lay there with her arms flat on the floor struggling to keep her breath. "It's been a while since I stretched," she admitted.
"I see that," he said realizing for the first time the position they were in and how close to her face his was. He smiled and said jokingly, "I'll lend a hand any time, really…"
"I'm sure you would," she said with a grin.
"Yeah, I really think we should work out a scheduled program of stretching…" he kidded. "So now I'm supposed to push your foot over, right?"
"Yeah, if I scream, just ignore me," she answered.
"So you *are* a screamer," he kidded as he pulled her foot across her chest.
"If you do it hard enough," she added. He pushed her foot to her opposite shoulder and her breath caught in her throat. She closed her eyes in pain not even able to make a joke about it. "Okay stop," she said giving into the pain. He looked into her face for that moment when she told him to stop and he knew what she must have been looking down on when she tried to strangle him. "Xander…" she whined since he still hadn't stopped pushing her leg. She looked into his eyes and saw that look – she completely understood the thoughts running through his head. She felt the muscles around her hip begin to contract threatening to cramp sending painful electric pulses through the joint. She didn't do anything to him, which seemed to surprise him as much as her, but she kind of felt like she owed it to him in a weird way. Without it even registering in her brain first she whimpered pleadingly, "please…" in a breathy tone. He seemed to snap out of it immediately releasing his grasp and standing.
She straightened her leg out slowly with it obviously causing pain. Xander just stood over her for a minute looking down at her face as she caught her breath with relief. She finally looked up at him almost questioningly only to see him standing there blankly. And just as he had snapped out of it so quickly, seeing her look up at him that way, innocently and questioning him, he freaked. He felt his body feel as weak and faint as though he had been hyperventilating, but he hadn't, but he couldn't take his eyes off of her. The feelings running through him were almost indescribable. He finally broke off his gaze and walked quickly out of the room running his hand through his hair nervously.
"Way to be bi-polar," Faith said sarcastically as she stood. She could feel her hip straining to remain stable – the long workout of high kicks accompanied by the painful stretch caused it to threaten to give out. She was playing it off as a joke in front of everyone but she knew Xander had just tapped into one of those deep roots of anger inside of him. It was an issue she had tried to avoid since her return to Sunnydale, and she still wished she could.
She acted like he hadn't hurt her as she walked out of the room towards the staircase but as all of them observed there was an obvious weakness in her step which was usually so clearly confident and daring. If there was any doubt once she reached the staircase it was cleared up immediately. She took her first step with her left foot making her feel like it wouldn't be a problem and causing her to have too much confidence in using her right foot for the next. She lifted her leg up with all of the strain on her hip to lift it and she immediately threw her foot back down on the same stair and fell over onto the wall in pain. She definitely didn't like this feeling; she could remember her hip feeling just like this after the car accident. Memories of that weren't very pleasant either so she avoided thinking about that too.
Xander slammed his door as hard as he possibly could, actually hoping to break something in the process, as he got to his bedroom. It wasn't very 'him' yet, but within a few days it should look like more than just a bed with a duffle bag thrown next to it. His head was swimming with different thoughts, most of them conflicting with each other causing mini-collisions in his brain. He could barely understand himself as to why he had felt so good around her, and actually quite turned on, when earlier he hadn't wanted anything to do with her. He wanted her, he could admit that – he glanced down at his bulging fly and knew he couldn't deny it, but every time he started to feel that way about her Anya would jump into his head and he was immediately overwhelmed with guilt and anger. He had no control over the switch but to make it more frustrating, he was aware of when it was happening. He knew he took it out on those around, well usually just her but he couldn't stop it – that gross, weighty feeling inside wouldn't go away unless he lashed out, but after he did that's when the guilt set in even more.
He couldn't believe what had just happened downstairs so he tried not to even think about it. He had blocked out that whole night from his brain, but in that split second when she was in pain and it was because of him he just had the images of that night flashing through his eyes faster than lightning. He was angry, angry at the world, not just any specific person – but in that moment he had hated her. He had been enjoying helping her and smiling and joking with her, it was a nice feeling to have someone you could just playfully banter with and that's when he remembered Anya. Once she entered his mind he got angry at Faith for reminding him of her, *God I'm losing it* he thought, and that's when she asked him to stop. The two things coinciding so closely that it just caused him to lash out physically rather than just verbally.
He leaned his head down in his hands trying to wipe the frustration away but it refused to work. As much as he wished he could just have stayed angry like that, he couldn't. Hearing her say please to him, hearing her beg like that was exactly what he had wanted but at the same time, once again the emotions colliding at that exact moment, he thought about how many times she had used that exact tone and word in pleading with other men when she was younger. The thought made him sick to his stomach and he felt as though he would just disintegrate in dust right there in a pile in front of her. He rubbed his face again so hard it was almost painful then he heard his door creak open. He spun around to look at the door and he saw her walk in and just stand there still with that same questioning look.
"You okay?" he muttered.
"Yeah…" she answered nonchalantly, "you should be proud of yourself - it's been a while since a guy's been able to make me limp," she joked.
"Oh yeah, real proud of myself," he answered sardonically.
"Listen, no drama…"
"Faith, you can't just come in here and expect to smile and make everything better!" he snapped at her casualness.
"Hey!" she reprimanded, "either deal and get the hell over it, or don't deal and fucking forget it!" she answered pissed off at his mood swings.
"Don't-" he warned.
"Not to be offensive, Xander, but she's gone, okay? I don't know what you want from me, but what's done is done…"
"Exactly," he answered angrily both of them knowing she had hit the exact nerve and had read that Anya was the beginning of all of this pain.
"What?" she asked confused.
"What's done is done, Faith – what's repentance when everything you've done can't be undone? Everyone you've hurt and killed… they're all gone too, Faith, and that's your problem. Deep down you know, no matter how sorry you are, you can't bring them back and you can't undo the pain you've caused." She forced a small smile across her face and tried to play everything as a joke to make it easier,
"You know, you should really get that whole bi-polar thing looked at," she said turning back towards the door. He watched her walk out, slightly limping and he felt good for shoving it in her face, but again at the same time he wanted to run after her and hold her crying his tears of regretful-ness into her hair.
They all walked through the house curiously. After walking through the door in the garage it led to a small room with three arches in it leading in different directions. One door led to a hallway going to the kitchen with a bathroom on the side through a door off the hallway and after the kitchen was the dining room. Through the middle arch there was a longer hallway with a lot of closets off of the sides. On the other side there was a long staircase which led to three bedrooms and a bathroom. If you continued walking past the stairs there was a large room with a lot of space that would be used as the workout room. Off to the left of that down a short corridor was the living room with a couch and surround sound television unassembled in the corner in boxes. Then at the end of that hallway if you continued straight instead of going into the living room there was a set of five stairs leading down into a small hall with a sliding door across the doorway with a large bathroom off to one side and to the other was a large bedroom. Silently everyone knew Faith had already claimed that room as her own. Through the third arch was a small library area with a large wooden desk and leather couch in the back corner.
"Not bad," Kennedy commented as then finished looking through the house. They were all a little shocked at how nice it was, including Giles.
"No," Giles agreed.
---
They had arrived at around two in the morning at the new place and they all had found their rooms and Buffy, Dawn, and Giles made due with the couches. Faith took the secluded room down the five stairs, Xander had the bedroom all the way down the hall to the left upstairs, Willow and Kennedy took the middle room, and Wood took the room all the way to the right. Although there was nothing that had to be done the next day, all of them found themselves awake before eight o'clock. Xander and Dawn left to get bagels and coffee and Andrew, Giles, Buffy, Kennedy, and Willow waited around the kitchen. Giles left and went to the small office area which was going to be for some of his books and files to make a vague plan of where he might put everything. Wood had walked downstairs and noticing that Faith wasn't in the kitchen he walked past them and down the hall to her small wing.
He slid the wooden door open and walked into the dark hallway. There was a lamp in the far corner by the door to the bathroom but the light-bulb was about to die so it was extremely dim. He went to the right towards her bedroom door and knocked. There was no answer so he assumed she was asleep and he opened the door with a loud creak. She was lying in the middle of the bed looking out of the large skylight with a black bra and black jeans on with her hair still wet from the shower. She glanced over at him walking into the room but didn't really move. He was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, black boots and a white, ribbed tank top as he approached the bed.
"Hey," he greeted softly as he reached the end of the bed. She propped herself up on her elbows and looked up at him. He could feel her eyes staring him up and down as he stood there trying to maintain his confidence. "How'd you sleep?" he finally said unable to handle the silence anymore.
---
"We're back," Xander called as he and Dawn walked into the house. He carried a bag of bagels and a tray of coffees in the other and Dawn carried the second tray of coffees. Giles heard them come in and entered from the office. "Breakfast is served," Xander stated proudly as he set the bag down on the counter.
"Yes!" Kennedy said approaching the bag anxiously helping them distribute everything.
"Where's Faith and Robin Hood?" Xander asked sarcastically.
"He went into her room to wake her up a while ago," Andrew said with a raise in his eyebrows as he said 'a while'.
"Hey, I think I figured it out," Willow called from the living room. Xander and Dawn didn't know what she was talking about until music surrounded the house. The Chili Peppers, "Under the Bridge" played confidently through the rooms without being too loud.
"I'll go get them," Xander said.
"I don't-" Buffy began.
"I don't want their coffee to get cold," he answered walking down the hallway without giving Buffy a chance to protest.
---
"Come here," she said sitting up further so she was sitting at the end of the bed with her legs hanging down off of it. He walked up to her so that he stood between her legs. She looked up at him with her eyes looking into him with a strange hunger in them. He could feel her hot breath against his stomach and he immediately felt aroused at the memory of their night together. He looked down at the similar black bra and asked,
"This close enough?" She shook her head in response putting her arms around his neck and drawing him into her. He pushed his hands down onto the bed to keep himself balanced as he stood with his legs pushed against the bed with hers teasing them by being just around them without touching. She pulled him into a fierce kiss not letting him go till he was completely out of breath. She ran one hand along his cheek and the other across the waistband of his jeans. He looked down at her waiting for him and with a final urging from her tugging slightly at the button on his jeans he pushed his hands underneath her hips and pushed her further up the bed. She pulled him down on top of her and he hovered above her as he kissed her with one hand balancing himself above her next to her head while he kept the other under her hip pulling her up to him rhythmically.
Xander knocked for good measure but proceeded into the room without even a momentary hesitation for a response. Xander clenched his jaw in anger as he walked in seeing the two of them on the bed. Faith pushed him away from her and sat up leaning on her arms with obvious frustration in her features.
"What?" she asked angrily. He shook his head in disgust at Wood then said snidely,
"Foods here," in response to Faith's question keeping his tone friendly enough, although incredibly sardonic, to make it sound as though he had just walked into any room to tell someone their breakfast was ready.
"What's your problem?" Wood asked angrily climbing off of the bed. Xander ignored him and turned to leave. He quickly walked up to him and shoved his arm so he would turn and face him.
"Hey!" Faith reprimanded as she saw him grab Xander's arm.
"What the hell is yours?" Xander asked angrily.
"You think you can just barge in here like that? Don't you have any respect?"
"For her," he answered, "obviously something you're lacking." Robin stood defensively, Xander's words hitting a sore nerve.
"If you have something you'd like to say to me, Xander, say it."
"Could you two get a fucking life?" Faith asked in an extremely pissed off tone. She got up off the bed and grabbed a white tank top putting it on as she walked out of the room without either of them. "Do us all a bloody favor."
Faith walked into the kitchen alone, that was the first bad sign, then she grabbed her coffee, which she noticed had 'bitch' scribbled on the top by
Xander for marking purposes, and slid the suburban keys off of the counter. As the other two exited Faith's room and were standing in the dim corridor they could now be heard from the kitchen yelling back and forth.
"Wanna go for a ride, B?" Faith offered ignoring the angry yells.
"Sure," she answered quickly grabbing her coffee and following Faith out of the house. She gave everyone a concerned look and they returned it with a look assuring her they would take care of the problem.
"You know what, fuck you, you don't love her!" Xander yelled in his face.
"How the hell do you know?"
"Whatever," he answered trying to walk away. Robin once again grabbed his arm and Xander added, "you obviously have never really been in love, because if you had, you'd know that's nothing close."
"Oh, so you're Mr. Experience when it comes to love," Wood mocked.
"I loved Anya, and I still love Anya – I know what it feels like to be in love with someone and if you call what's going on between you and Faith love, you're just a moron."
"A moron?" he asked angrily.
"It's a two way thing," he answered, "she doesn't love you – but don't feel bad, she doesn't love anyone, but you gotta get that because you can't go around pretending you're in love when really she doesn't care…"
"Shut up, you don't know what you're talking about and-"
"Whatever," he answered again turning to leave.
"No, I want to know what gives you the right to judge how I feel about her. It has nothing to do with you, and you still think you get to barge in and make it seem like what's going on is wrong."
"It is!"
"Why?"
"Guy's knock it off," Willow said as she approached with the others.
"Why is it fucking wrong?"
"Because you don't fucking care about her!"
"How do you know?"
"The only thing you're interested in is getting into her pants!"
"Guys, stop!" Kennedy yelled matching their volume.
"You don't love her!" Xander yelled again ignoring Kennedy and Willow. Kennedy grabbed him and pulled him away from the argument hoping to dissipate the tension.
"I never said I did!" Wood finally defended. Everything seemed to just stop at what he said and for the first time everyone began to see why Xander had been so against this. Kennedy let go of his arm and just stood behind him now struck by thoughts just racing through her head.
"A nice guy like you is just what she fucking needs," Xander answered now in a calm tone knowing he had finally gotten his point across to everyone.
"I also never said I didn't want to," he answered defending himself again. He knew Xander had gotten him to say exactly what he wanted him to say and he felt like he had just been kicked down. "I guess you'd be a lot better for her… you know, a guy who after his girlfriend, who he left at the alter, but remember, he loved her," he mocked speaking more to everyone else rather than directly to Xander, "who was just killed is already looking to 'love' someone new."
The room once again fell into silence as Xander felt the words cut through him. Kennedy looked over at Willow nervously before returning back to Xander.
"I never said anything about me and Faith," Xander clarified holding his voice as steadily as he could.
"But you're such a nice guy," Robin answered condescendingly.
"I have absolutely no interest in delving into that mass of emotional trauma," he stated angrily, "and I never said anything about me and Faith!" he repeated this time screaming again.
"Yeah, but you seem to have everything to say about me and her."
"I don't like seeing my friends with people who I know are going to hurt them," he answered firmly. His tone was strong and clear and left no mistake that he had just ended this conversation.
---
"So…" Buffy finally said after ten minutes of driving without a single word being spoken between either of them. The radio was blasting through the vehicle as they sped down the highway. Buffy leaned forward and turned down the volume so there would be no way Faith could pretend she hadn't heard her. "So…" she repeated.
"What's up, B?" Faith finally answered.
"Now I've gotta ask, what's the deal between you and Wood?"
"There's no deal," she answered with a nonchalant shrug.
"So Xander lost it walking in on you two talking?" she asked sardonically.
"No, see, you should know me better than that, B, if we had been talking there would've definitely been a 'deal', but there isn't, so it was just simply screwing," Faith clarified. "Well, it would've been…" she added admitting when Xander had come in.
"So you two aren't…" Buffy questioned trailing off at the end.
"Together?" Faith asked laughing, "me and together-ness don't really mix, B. Been there, done that, got the tee-shirt – I'm done with that crap."
"You need someone," Buffy said definitely crossing that unseen line that she had never even approached before.
"What I need is a good slay, a quick screw, a date with my boy J.D., and I'll be just fine," Faith stated firmly.
"You need someone, Faith. You're lonely and you're-"
"I don't need anyone!" Faith snapped at her. "And besides, who are you to tell me I need someone when you don't have anybody."
"Faith, you have a hell of a lot more baggage then I do, and I do have somebody."
"Oh, well aren't you lucky," Faith answered with a smug grin.
"I'm leaving at the end of the week to fly out to L.A. to see Angel for a little while…" With all kidding aside Faith answered,
"Tell him I said hey." Buffy nodded knowing that Faith cared about Angel a lot, he was someone that Faith admitted to caring about, and that meant a lot coming from her.
---
"Xander?" Willow asked delicately walking into his room. He was sitting on his bed deep in thought. "Are you okay?"
"Are you happy?"
"What?"
"Are you happy? Are you happy with Kennedy?"
"I am," Willow answered honestly taking a seat next to him on the bed. He nodded and answered,
"Then I'm okay." She smiled and patted his knee,
"It gets better."
"I just…"
"What?"
"Nevermind…"
"What…" she urged.
"I don't want to upset you-"
"Xander, what?"
"I just don't know how you do it… I know you're not over Tara and you still love her, but how do you… how are you happy with someone else?" Willow felt herself tense slightly at the mention of Tara but she forced herself to relax again.
"It's hard," she admitted. "You care about her, don't you?" she asked confidently.
"No," he answered angrily getting up off of the bed. His reaction took her completely by surprise and she wasn't sure what to do. "Why would you say something like that?"
"I… it's just the way you act around her… it's not bad, Xander, it's really okay," she comforted.
"I don't have a thing for Faith, how the hell can I convince all of you of that?"
"Xander…"
"She's the kind of girl you fall for when you're seventeen and nothing but a mass of hormones, Will, I've outgrown her," he stated firmly. Willow couldn't help but feel bad about just sitting there and letting him dump on someone, who recently had been nothing but heroic and helpful.
"Outgrown, huh?" Faith asked from the doorway. She was leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed looking pensively over at the two of them on the bed. She rolled her eyes in disgust with a smile almost of relief and left the room that she had been planning to come and make peace in. She had a lot that she wanted to say to him – she was sure she wouldn't have been able to say it, but she thought that maybe if she put herself in the situation where she could she just might be able to say some of it. *To hell with that idea* she thought in a now, very pissed off mood.
---
"If that's what you would like to do that's perfectly fine," Giles answered to Robin knowing it would help ease the tension. He nodded,
"Thank you."
"It will be nice having another person helping with the move to the other house."
---
Giles entered the kitchen around noon time to make himself a cup of tea. Willow, Kennedy, Dawn, and Andrew had all just returned from the grocery store and the topic of conversation from their car ride had still remained strong as they unpacked everything. Faith walked into the kitchen and just kept to herself and did her own thing, helping them unpack without asking, just kind of grabbing things here and there and putting them away. Giles smiled at how helpful she was without making it look like she was even doing anything. *Heaven forbid she looks as though she's helping* he thought.
"…seriously, I think that was a big part of getting better at slaying," Kennedy continued.
"But you weren't training at that point, you were changed into a real slayer before you fought them…" Andrew argued.
"You're always training though, especially once you're actually a slayer," Dawn noted, still not taking any particular side.
"Faith, maybe you can help us settle this…" Willow said turning towards her. Faith stood there with a Corona in her hand and a lighter and an unlit cigarette in the other.
"I'm usually the one they call in to instigate a fight," she reminded Willow, "not to settle things."
"No, you can help," Kennedy assured, "it's your area."
"Now I'm scared," Faith joked raising her eyebrows. They laughed and Willow continued,
"What do you think was the most influential experience you had that made you a good slayer?" Faith smirked and asked,
"So I'm a *good* slayer now?" she joked.
"Faith," Giles said in an almost scolding tone. Faith tossed him a confused glance and he answered, "I think we should talk later," in a tone that didn't arouse much attention but got his point across.
"So what was it?" Dawn urged never having had this type of conversation with Buffy.
"It doesn't have to be a specific example or anything…" Andrew stated excitedly.
"Getting your ass kicked," she answered honestly. They all looked at her hazily and Kennedy finally asked,
"What do you mean?"
"You're not a good slayer until you've had your ass handed to you and you can still get up and fight again…"
"But you're a slayer… no one can beat you."
"That's funny," Faith answered with a laugh. "You obviously haven't really been beaten up."
"Oh come on," Kennedy said confidently, "who is there, especially now, that can really beat up a slayer?"
"A slayer," Faith answered.
"Faith, are you corrupting the children again?" Buffy asked walking into the room.
"Nah, B, just telling them about the time you kicked my face in."
"Oh," she answered with a bit of concern.
"But it made you a better slayer," Kennedy stated questioningly.
"Yeah," Faith answered, "I think so. Mindset's half the battle…"
"So insightful," Buffy teased.
"Hey, you need to know you're the shit to fight well, but you also have to know in the back of your head that there are things that are just going to have fun fucking busting you up… and until you actually meet one of those things and fight it, no matter how many times you tell yourself they're out there, you don't really believe it."
"So you're saying knowing there are things that'll kill you makes you better?" Buffy asked not really grasping her point.
"No, knowing that and still facing off everything life throws at you is what makes you better," Faith answered. There was a brief pause in the room and Giles clearly was taken by what had just been said. It was interesting for him to see two girls, whom he had spent a lot of time training, both have their different perspectives on things, while still having quite similar views.
---
Faith sat comfortably on one of the counters in the kitchen drinking her fourth Corona since lunch. She looked out of one of the windows at the dark sky – she just sat there contently remembering all the nights she just thought about her life in jail staring at the stars in the sky. She had always liked thinking at night, when she could just zone out and blur her eyes as she watched the sky and forget about everything that had happened, but at the same time remember just as much. Even when she was little she remembered leaving reality behind and just watching the sky. She would also sit in her window and watch people walking back and forth – people were so funny if you just watched them.
Xander walked into the kitchen and directly towards the fridge looking up at Faith on the counter smugly.
"Drunk yet?" he asked condescendingly as he grabbed a beer out of the fridge.
"Hey, X-man, you look like you might be outgrowing those jeans there," she said sharply not giving him an inch. Xander immediately caught onto the whole 'outgrown' thing and it definitely bothered him, especially since it had been paired with a comment that attacked his already insecure self-image.
"Yeah, it's okay though – I don't mind being one of those people who grow," he answered walking out of the room and back up the stairs with his beer. Faith rolled her eyes at him and finished off the beer. She sat there again staring out of the window trying to not let herself think about anything.
"Faith," she heard Giles say firmly. She turned her head towards his commanding voice quickly and answered,
"Yeah, what's up?"
"Can I speak with you?" he asked in a way that wasn't very much like a question. She hopped off of the counter and followed him into the study. He sat at the desk chair and she went over to the couch.
"Comfy," she noted raising her eyebrows. Giles ignored her comment and continued,
"I've needed to talk with you since your return, but as can be easily understood, the time for it was never really available."
"What about?" she asked, "am I getting grounded or something?"
"We just need to discus some things, Faith."
"Like what?"
"Well, how are you feeling?"
"I am so not into the whole shrink thing," she said starting to get up.
"Faith, please," he said firmly causing her to sit back down. "I just need to talk over some things about the last couple of years, Faith."
"G, I don't really like going over the past…"
"What you did took a lot," he finally stated. "Admitting to your crimes and serving time was very impressive and you should be proud of yourself."
"I didn't even serve half of it – not so impressive anymore, is it?"
"You left to save Angel… the one person who never lost faith in you. He was the one person who kept you going through that painful time in your life. I can't imagine what it was like for you to come out of prison and have to fight Angelus."
"It was hard," she admitted. "He knew everything that Angel and I had ever talked about, he knew how I felt and how I acted, he looked the same and moved the same, but was completely different. But, I just have to accept the fact that I'm doomed to fighting people I don't really want to win against," she said before she even realized what she was admitting.
"You risked your life to beat Angelus without hurting Angel…" Giles continued knowing she wanted an out after her last comment.
"Well, generally I'm not into shit like that 'cause I see it that I'm more owed then owing, but in certain cases, I can admit that I definitely owe a little."
"Faith, I'm going to ask you again, and this time I want a real answer, how are you really feeling?"
"I don't know," she answered with a shrug. "I know that's not what you meant by a real answer, but it's all I got."
"What are you thinking? What are you feeling? What are you planning for your life?"
"You trying to write a case study on depression in Slayer's or something?"
"Faith, you have a bloody wall built around yourself and you don't let anyone in. You've been through a lot in the last few months and you just keep going like it's nothing."
"I just gotta keep going and everything is fine…"
"No it's not, Faith. You can't keep running away from your own feelings, eventually they're going to catch up."
"Yeah, like last time, right?" she asked recollecting bits of her past.
"Faith, that's not going to happen again – you've changed… God, you've changed so much, and it's all because you wanted to."
"Not everybody sees it that way," she muttered. Giles didn't respond he just looked at her waiting for her to continue. "What's his problem anyway?"
"Well, like the rest of us, he's going through a lot right now too. He's upset about Anya and it makes him a little illogical. He wants to protect but at the same time he needs to hurt in order to feel faithful."
"Whatever… you just gotta learn how to deal."
"Some might say the same to you," Giles answered.
"Hey, I'm not going around making stupid comments, and shooting people down for no reason-"
"Yes, but that's his way of dealing."
"I just do it differently, everyone deals with things differently."
"Yes, but Faith, you're not dealing at all… that's where the problem lies."
"I've got nothing to deal with – I'm fine," she answered standing up off of the couch.
"Of course you are, Faith," he muttered as she exited the office. She walked through the kitchen grabbing the last beer of the six pack, leaving the empty case in the fridge, and headed for her room. She knew she really wasn't fine – she could feel everything inside of her just triggering everything else and she found herself having to just stop and walk away from things before she could allow herself to just snap. She needed a release – everything was just building since… well since forever, but it was starting to pile up faster now. She smiled as she related it to playing Tetris the videogame and how once you got everything stacked up really high the last few lines before you lose just seem to pile up in no time at all. The last few days, between not being able to slay, dealing with tensions of being back with the Scoobies, having Xander stop her from having a good screw (twice!), and then on top of all of that, having to deal with that asshole cop. She was definitely ready to just explode at this po
int.
She grinned as she walked into her room and saw Robin sitting on her bed. He glanced up quickly at her as she walked in. She walked up to him and he started to get up as she approached but she pushed him back down and she slid her leg over him and sat on his lap facing him. She still held her Corona in her hand and she smiled mischievously at him with her lips only an inch or two away from his.
"What do you think the odds are that he'll be in here again?" she asked as she leaned down to kiss him. He dodged her kiss moving his face to the side and she noticed how he wasn't exactly pleased to have her sitting there either. "What's the matter with you?" she asked immediately defensive. He didn't answer with words or expression so she was left sitting there empty. She felt herself getting angrier by the second knowing now was not the time to be playing mind games with her. She leaned forward to kiss him, this time with her hand cradling his cheek trying to keep him from pulling away. He tried to push away but she held him firmly as she met his lips with hers.
"No," he said as he finally pushed her off of him as he stood up. She caught herself so she was sitting on the bed as he stood up.
"What do you mean, 'no'?" she asked angrily standing up.
"I don't want to do this," he answered clarifying what exactly was meant by the word 'no'.
"Then why the fuck were you in here?" she asked as she grabbed his shirt and threw him back down on the bed. He hit it with a thud that caused his anger to finally start running, which he had tried to avoid since he knew she would just feed off of it.
"Faith," he protested as he grabbed her waist as she climbed on top of him. He felt her take hold of his shoulder and he soon realized that he couldn't even move it with her holding him like that.
"Come on," she comforted kissing him teasingly with soft, quick kisses.
"Faith, knock it off," he demanded trying to push her off with his hand against her hip.
"What the fuck?" she asked holding herself over him, realizing he was definitely not just playing and that he wanted nothing to do with this. He pushed against her trying to get up and she quickly slammed him back down against the bed. He stopped pushing against her but he didn't submit to her either. With all of the emotions inside of her as painful as if they were fire, she clenched her teeth in frustration and with a final shove she got off of him and stood off of the bed grabbing her beer again. He got up slowly never taking his eyes off of her. If she thought she was about to explode before, now she definitely was.
"I guess you're not in the mood to talk," he said angrily standing up off of the bed.
"What the hell do *we* have to talk about?" she asked angrily and frustrated.
"I don't want you anymore," he stated.
"Excuse me?" she asked in disbelief. "Since when was this about what you wanted?"
"You're pissed off," he said trying to keep everything calm despite the fact that he had purposely hit that one completely exposed nerve of loneliness in her. "But, I'm not going to do anything unless you let me care about you, which, knowing you, you'd die before doing that. You won't let me be that person for you, so I'm not just going to be another asshole that uses you."
"Using *me*?" she asked laughing. "That's funny."
"Faith…" he said comfortingly trying to keep things from elevating.
"Whatever," she answered calmly as though she were completely indifferent about the whole thing but making it quite clear that she was definitely not into the whole comforting thing. He was torn between what to do – he knew he wasn't going to get anywhere talking with her now but bringing it up again later would probably not be an option either. She walked over to the windowsill and picked up a remote control from it and pressed a button turning on a surround sound radio that filled her room. The way it was set up she could also make it play in the hallway and the bathroom too. She tossed the remote back down on the windowsill then lit herself a cigarette. Wood decided he definitely wasn't going to get anywhere with trying to talk with her tonight so he turned begrudgingly and left the room.
---
"I think it would be really good for me," Kennedy explained as she crawled into bed next to Willow.
"I think you're thinking about it too much," Willow answered wrapping her arms around her lovers waist. "I don't want you all bruised up," she said protectively.
"But you heard her, it'll make me better, and I want to be as good as I can be," she continued.
"You're all going to start training again once things settle a little with the whole moving thing… then you'll go up against Buffy for a session, you know?"
"Yeah, but as much as she'll show me new moves and everything, she's not going to really fight me… at least not the same way Faith would."
"I don't think Faith would fight you," Willow stated. "Buffy might for training, but Faith wouldn't."
"Wait, I'm confused… why would Buffy do it and Faith wouldn't?"
"I don't know… it's just that Buffy knows she can stay in control in a fight… Faith's aware of how her temper gets in the way, and she loves you guys, she doesn't want to hurt anybody."
"But that's the thing, Buffy's going to stay in complete control and not give me any more than I can take – but Faith would kick my ass…"
"Buffy would give you a fight," Willow assured. "Honey, I know you really like Faith, and you respect her and everything, but you don't know her – you've seen her in battle against big bads and you've seen the way she fights; that same anger that you see when she's fighting evil, it doesn't really matter who she's fighting… she's-"
"I've heard you guys talk about the way she used to be – but God, give her a break!" she defended with a hint of anger in her tone, "she's changed, you admitted that, and you still say she can't control herself when all she's done lately is keep herself in check, and I must say, better than I've ever seen Buffy be able to."
"I still think you're taking her whole 'it's good to get your ass kicked' thing too seriously. She was probably just-"
"She's right," Kennedy pushed. "And as weird as it sounds, I kinda want to go up against them just to see where I stand, you know?"
"I get it," Willow admitted. "But try not to focus on it too much…"
"Baby, I'm a slayer," she declared, "fighting is my focus…"
---
(The Next Day)
"Buffy, could you go fetch Faith for the meeting?" Giles asked as he sipped at his morning tea. Everyone else had already joined around the kitchen, which was quickly becoming the gathering area.
"Yup," Buffy answered enthusiastically hopping off of the chair and walking towards Faith's room. She slid the wooden door open and could hear the low base music coming from her room. She knocked at the large door,
"Yeah?"
"Faith, it's me," she answered. She waited a minute for a further response but not getting one she figured she could just go in. She walked in and Faith was sitting on the bed up against the wall with her feet flat on the bed and her knees bent with her arms leaning against her legs. She was still dressed in what she had been wearing yesterday and she didn't look like she had slept at all. "Sleep okay?"
"Nah, not one of those good nights," she answered.
"Well, I see Jack showed up for your date," Buffy noted as she saw the half empty bottle of Jack Daniels on the table.
"The only good man I've ever met," she joked back.
"Yeah, you guys are going long-term now, huh?" Buffy added with a laugh.
"That's right," she answered.
"You feeling okay?" she asked seeing the pinkish tint to Faith's eyes and the darkness that surrounded them.
"Yeah," she answered turning and getting off of the bed. She stumbled slightly as she regained her leg strength, "now I am," she clarified having gotten her balance regained.
"Giles wants you to come into the kitchen – we're having a little meeting thing…"
"Oh goody," Faith mocked, "let's hurry, I don't want to miss a word of all that interesting stuff he likes to talk about!" The two of them laughed as they walked together through the dark hall and then up the few stairs to the contrasting bright hallway leading to the kitchen. Buffy remembered the feeling of walking next to Faith laughing lightheartedly about things – it was a good feeling. Things weren't completely back to the way they had been in the beginning, things had changed and both of them knew a lot more about each other now. Buffy couldn't just walk and pretend Faith was always fine anymore like she claimed to be, she knew she had been up all night drinking and that things had been plaguing her since she had showed up in Sunnydale the first time.
"Alright," Giles began as the two of them approached. "There are some things that we need to discus. I'll start with the Council. They're providing us with a steady flow of income, but I have no control over the amount. In other words, I can't tell that I need twice as much this month as last month; I just receive the same amount, or a different one depending on what they can send. As you can imagine, the uncovering of duplicate copies of the books that were destroyed in Sunnydale is a tedious and expensive process, which must hold priority over everything else for me to be responsibly upholding my position to the Council. What that means is that it would certainly help to keep the house in order if there were a few incomes coming into it."
"So you're saying we need to get jobs," Kennedy asked.
"Not everyone," he continued. "I need Willow to help me with the search for the books, Dawn can help too but she will be returning to school shortly. If no one has a job it will still be okay, but we just won't be able to buy more furniture, have a fully stocked bar," he said looking over at Faith, "we'll be fine but just a little more limited." Giles paused his speech and looked around at everyone. He took another sip of his tea and continued, "Also, since we are going to be the primary training facility in America, there will be occasional people coming in for various programs. The Council is sending someone by the name of Wendy Freck for final training in being a Watcher. She will be Kennedy's watcher under my supervision," he stated. Kennedy's expression changed instantly from indifference to anger,
"Why does she have to be my Watcher?" Kennedy asked. Faith raised her hand and added defending,
"Hey, we all know how well I do with new Watchers – don't give her to me. But why does Kennedy have to deal with one?"
"She's in training, once I see that she's fit as a Watcher she will be sent out to a newly called Slayer elsewhere."
"Is this one going to be evil too?" Buffy asked jokingly. She shot a look over at Faith and she answered,
"Hey! That's soo not funny." Buffy giggled then they both returned back to the seriousness of the meeting.
"About her arrival – we need to welcome her…"
"Yeah, about that," Faith began, "what are we supposed to do, 'hey, how was your flight, welcome to our place, find a couch'?"
"No there's an available bedroom."
"Did I miss one in the mini tour?" Faith asked.
"No, Robin will be staying at the other house for a while until we're done moving into it completely so she'll be staying in his room," Giles answered. Faith couldn't help but laugh at the complete ridiculousness of the situation. Xander tossed a look over to Robin and saw him just sitting in a chair with his eyes down at the ground. "On a different note," Giles began once again, "the three of you will begin your training again today," he said looking at the three Slayers. He amused himself at seeing the different expressions that crossed all three; Kennedy was immediately filled with excitement, Buffy was seemingly unaffected knowing it was her duty, and Faith practically groaned in response. "Is there anything else that anyone has to say?"
"Can the food labeling rule actually be enforced in this house?" Andrew asked tossing a glare in Faith's direction.
"Yeah, can it be extended to beer too?" Xander asked also throwing a look over at the slayer.
"Household disputes can be discussed amongst yourselves," Giles said not wanting to step in the middle. He did however note that it was obvious that Faith had been drinking all night, and so had Xander. He was debating about whether or not to intercede into this ongoing dispute between them, but he was going to try and let them figure it out on their own if it were possible. What he noticed was the most difficult about the situation was that both of them avoided confrontation as well as loved it, making it difficult for any positive negotiations.
"Robin, could I ask you and Andrew to pick up Miss Freck this afternoon from the airport?"
"No problem," he answered confidently.
"We need to leave early because we need to stop at the grocery store again," Andrew added. Robin laughed to conceal his tensions of being in the room and nodded.
"Very well," Giles answered, "girl why don't you change for training, and Willow you can begin setting up the computer in the office, I found that part you needed."
"Okay," she answered hopping off her chair, "Dawny, can you come help me?" she asked before heading towards the office. Dawn nodded and followed her.
"What do you need me to do?" Xander asked, feeling awkward as all of his old Zeppo feeling returned to him.
"Ah, yes," Giles answered, "there are still some things to be unpacked from the truck and I saw one of the panes in the window over there was cracked…"
"Okey doke," Xander answered immediately feeling better that there were some mindless tasks that needed to be done that would make him look as though he were doing things.
"I'll go get the equipment," Giles said leaving the room.
Xander walked out to the truck and started unloading some of the miscellaneous stuff that was still left in the back of it. He managed to organize the majority of it all right in the garage and on the shelves at the sides. He carried in the supplies he would need to fix the window, depending on how bad it was it might only be a temporary one. He went back into the house and into the training room. He saw Buffy and Kennedy standing by Giles and Faith sitting nearby on the floor with her knees drawn to her chest and her arms hugging her legs. They were all listening as he explained what they were going to begin with. Buffy was in spandex pants and a sports bra; Kennedy was wearing loose sweatpants and a tight workout top; and Faith was wearing baggy sweatpants and a fitted white tee-shirt.
"Giles, which window?" Xander asked.
"That one right there," he said pointing to the window in the corner of the room they would be training in.
"Oh," Xander answered knowing just how distracted he was going to be.
"Okay, all of you should be doing endurance training on your own along with some strength training. Kennedy, during these training sessions we touch on those two things but the main focus is on agility and technique." She nodded in understanding and the training begun, which Xander watched contently after seeing that the window repair was minimal and he could fix it practically without looking.
"Alright, to begin Buffy and Faith stand here." Faith pushed herself up and the two stood face to face about three feet apart. "Now I want one at a time for the two of you to do a kick over the others head and alternate keeping it as fast as you can balance with. Understand?" The two answered him by just beginning the exercise. Buffy took the first kick, her foot just barely making it over Faith's head.
"Sorry," she said quickly.
"Yeah, you will be," Faith assured her as she took her kick making sure only to make it as high as Buffy had.
"Both of you, higher," Giles said as he watched them. Kennedy watched anxiously both excited for her turn but also nervous about not being able to even stand next to either of the older slayers. "Okay," he said after about six minutes of them kicking. Both had started to work up a sweat and he added, "okay, now by varying degrees bring the kicks lower so the other has to duck." Faith took his orders and sent a roundhouse kick straight at the level of Buffy's face. She knew she wouldn't expect it so she stopped her foot quickly right before it made it's impact. Stopping the strength that was running through that kick caused her to lose her balance and she stumbled back. Without a word between them Buffy was one hundred percent aware of what Faith had just spared her. Xander had seen it too. He felt a chill go through him as he watched the two of them. Faith took more chances in her technique and left herself more exposed but she sent much more power into each attack so with one kick she would have t
he same effect as Buffy would in three. He found it so strange how you could practically see the anger in Faith start to bubble up from deep within. She was keeping herself completely in control but it was still obvious that there was anger and frustration behind each kick.
"Alright, G, enough of this foreplay shit, can we party here or what?" Faith asked finally stepping back form Buffy and towards him.
"Okay, Faith out, Kennedy step in." She did so and they continued the exercise. Faith sat down not really caring, she was just getting bored with the same kick over and over again and she wanted to fight. Xander looked over at her contently finding himself lost in his gaze. Since it wasn't a conscious stare he couldn't keep himself from feeling good about it. The next thing he knew he heard her ask,
"How's that window coming?" and his response without even thinking was a soft smile. It definitely caught her off guard and Giles noticed the entire exchange.
"Faith, pay attention," he reprimanded. "Okay, stop." He said to Kennedy and Buffy. Kennedy was drenched in sweat but still willing to keep going and Buffy was pretty out of breath. "Okay stretch out," Giles stated, "Buffy show Kennedy…" Buffy went with Kennedy over to the side and went through the stretching routine with her. *Ooo stretching* Xander thought childishly. "Faith you need to keep stretching that hip…" he continued speaking while still thinking. From both a serious car accident earlier in her life and her final battle with Buffy when she jumped from the building she had landed funny on one hip and it had healed but it was always a little stiffer than the other. "Xander, could you give us a hand for a moment?" he finally asked. Xander nodded quickly as if his teenage fantasy had just been answered and walked over to Giles and Faith. "Lie down on your back, Faith," Giles stated. She did so bending her right leg, the bad hip, and waited for Xander. "Okay, now you're going to hold her ankle… yes, like that," he guided as Xander did so. "Push her knee up to her chest but keep her knee bent completely… yes… now after a few moments bring her foot across her chest while keeping her knee right there…"
"Okay," he answered surprised at how comfortable he was. He pushed her knee towards her chest and felt her muscles tighten against it. He stopped and looked to her face for guidance. He could tell it hurt her by her expression.
"Keep pushing," she said softly as she tried to keep breathing through the pain. He pushed down harder and saw her face get tighter and tighter,
"I'll stop," he offered.
"No, don't stop," she said in the same tone, "you can just push it harder." He did as he was told until her knee touched her chest. He was leaning down on top of her as she lay there with her arms flat on the floor struggling to keep her breath. "It's been a while since I stretched," she admitted.
"I see that," he said realizing for the first time the position they were in and how close to her face his was. He smiled and said jokingly, "I'll lend a hand any time, really…"
"I'm sure you would," she said with a grin.
"Yeah, I really think we should work out a scheduled program of stretching…" he kidded. "So now I'm supposed to push your foot over, right?"
"Yeah, if I scream, just ignore me," she answered.
"So you *are* a screamer," he kidded as he pulled her foot across her chest.
"If you do it hard enough," she added. He pushed her foot to her opposite shoulder and her breath caught in her throat. She closed her eyes in pain not even able to make a joke about it. "Okay stop," she said giving into the pain. He looked into her face for that moment when she told him to stop and he knew what she must have been looking down on when she tried to strangle him. "Xander…" she whined since he still hadn't stopped pushing her leg. She looked into his eyes and saw that look – she completely understood the thoughts running through his head. She felt the muscles around her hip begin to contract threatening to cramp sending painful electric pulses through the joint. She didn't do anything to him, which seemed to surprise him as much as her, but she kind of felt like she owed it to him in a weird way. Without it even registering in her brain first she whimpered pleadingly, "please…" in a breathy tone. He seemed to snap out of it immediately releasing his grasp and standing.
She straightened her leg out slowly with it obviously causing pain. Xander just stood over her for a minute looking down at her face as she caught her breath with relief. She finally looked up at him almost questioningly only to see him standing there blankly. And just as he had snapped out of it so quickly, seeing her look up at him that way, innocently and questioning him, he freaked. He felt his body feel as weak and faint as though he had been hyperventilating, but he hadn't, but he couldn't take his eyes off of her. The feelings running through him were almost indescribable. He finally broke off his gaze and walked quickly out of the room running his hand through his hair nervously.
"Way to be bi-polar," Faith said sarcastically as she stood. She could feel her hip straining to remain stable – the long workout of high kicks accompanied by the painful stretch caused it to threaten to give out. She was playing it off as a joke in front of everyone but she knew Xander had just tapped into one of those deep roots of anger inside of him. It was an issue she had tried to avoid since her return to Sunnydale, and she still wished she could.
She acted like he hadn't hurt her as she walked out of the room towards the staircase but as all of them observed there was an obvious weakness in her step which was usually so clearly confident and daring. If there was any doubt once she reached the staircase it was cleared up immediately. She took her first step with her left foot making her feel like it wouldn't be a problem and causing her to have too much confidence in using her right foot for the next. She lifted her leg up with all of the strain on her hip to lift it and she immediately threw her foot back down on the same stair and fell over onto the wall in pain. She definitely didn't like this feeling; she could remember her hip feeling just like this after the car accident. Memories of that weren't very pleasant either so she avoided thinking about that too.
Xander slammed his door as hard as he possibly could, actually hoping to break something in the process, as he got to his bedroom. It wasn't very 'him' yet, but within a few days it should look like more than just a bed with a duffle bag thrown next to it. His head was swimming with different thoughts, most of them conflicting with each other causing mini-collisions in his brain. He could barely understand himself as to why he had felt so good around her, and actually quite turned on, when earlier he hadn't wanted anything to do with her. He wanted her, he could admit that – he glanced down at his bulging fly and knew he couldn't deny it, but every time he started to feel that way about her Anya would jump into his head and he was immediately overwhelmed with guilt and anger. He had no control over the switch but to make it more frustrating, he was aware of when it was happening. He knew he took it out on those around, well usually just her but he couldn't stop it – that gross, weighty feeling inside wouldn't go away unless he lashed out, but after he did that's when the guilt set in even more.
He couldn't believe what had just happened downstairs so he tried not to even think about it. He had blocked out that whole night from his brain, but in that split second when she was in pain and it was because of him he just had the images of that night flashing through his eyes faster than lightning. He was angry, angry at the world, not just any specific person – but in that moment he had hated her. He had been enjoying helping her and smiling and joking with her, it was a nice feeling to have someone you could just playfully banter with and that's when he remembered Anya. Once she entered his mind he got angry at Faith for reminding him of her, *God I'm losing it* he thought, and that's when she asked him to stop. The two things coinciding so closely that it just caused him to lash out physically rather than just verbally.
He leaned his head down in his hands trying to wipe the frustration away but it refused to work. As much as he wished he could just have stayed angry like that, he couldn't. Hearing her say please to him, hearing her beg like that was exactly what he had wanted but at the same time, once again the emotions colliding at that exact moment, he thought about how many times she had used that exact tone and word in pleading with other men when she was younger. The thought made him sick to his stomach and he felt as though he would just disintegrate in dust right there in a pile in front of her. He rubbed his face again so hard it was almost painful then he heard his door creak open. He spun around to look at the door and he saw her walk in and just stand there still with that same questioning look.
"You okay?" he muttered.
"Yeah…" she answered nonchalantly, "you should be proud of yourself - it's been a while since a guy's been able to make me limp," she joked.
"Oh yeah, real proud of myself," he answered sardonically.
"Listen, no drama…"
"Faith, you can't just come in here and expect to smile and make everything better!" he snapped at her casualness.
"Hey!" she reprimanded, "either deal and get the hell over it, or don't deal and fucking forget it!" she answered pissed off at his mood swings.
"Don't-" he warned.
"Not to be offensive, Xander, but she's gone, okay? I don't know what you want from me, but what's done is done…"
"Exactly," he answered angrily both of them knowing she had hit the exact nerve and had read that Anya was the beginning of all of this pain.
"What?" she asked confused.
"What's done is done, Faith – what's repentance when everything you've done can't be undone? Everyone you've hurt and killed… they're all gone too, Faith, and that's your problem. Deep down you know, no matter how sorry you are, you can't bring them back and you can't undo the pain you've caused." She forced a small smile across her face and tried to play everything as a joke to make it easier,
"You know, you should really get that whole bi-polar thing looked at," she said turning back towards the door. He watched her walk out, slightly limping and he felt good for shoving it in her face, but again at the same time he wanted to run after her and hold her crying his tears of regretful-ness into her hair.