"Aren't you sick of pretending yet?" she asked him quietly. Those silver orbs looked into his eyes as she asked the one question that haunted him through his life. She was using the same sentence that had started all this trouble again, except in a different context.
"Why? Are you?" he demanded, his tone harsher than hers. He hadn't meant to sound harsh with her. She didn't deserve that. But he was always defensive when people questioned him.
It was the first time she had ever questioned him about their friendship. Normally, she just questioned him with her eyes, observing him so quietly it made him want to scream. Now though, she was looking for a verbal answer and one Draco did not possess.
"Yes," she replied, "I do believe I am."
"Luna…"
"Don't tell me it's the only way," Luna told him. Her voice, although never raised, was a tad bit stronger than normal. There was no unearthly tone in her voice this time, no innocence or simplexes.
"I told you how it would be," Draco said. "I told you. These are dark times, Luna, and I'm not ready to be killed yet. Or for you to be killed."
"Does everything have to end in murder?"
"Yes," he said with full belief. "Everything. Even the Dark War will end in murder. You know the prophecy. It's the only way to end it. It's the same with us, Luna. This wasn't supposed to happen, but it did."
"You're the only thing that I've ever taken seriously, Draco. Doesn't that count for something?" Luna turned from him to look out at the sky. They stood in front of a large window, with the stars and moon watching the couple. Luna's place. She always liked to keep her eye on the moon. She said it whispered things to her. That was why her name meant moon.
She always told him such tales of rubbish.
Draco had learned to listen to her. Ever since she had told him how much her stories meant to her.
'''
"So, you don't think the stars are the ghosts of our loved ones, keeping an eye on us?" Luna said when she saw his extremely doubtful face.
"No." He didn't feel the need to lie to her over such nonsense. He had only listened mildly.
They were lying on the floor of Luna's place. Her part of the Ravenclaw tower that she had discovered and never told anyone of. It was warm – Spring – and the window was open, causing a soft wind to blow around the small room.
"Then what do you think they are?" she challenged.
"I think they are just giant trunks of rock floating around the place. Or gas. Or some other chemical." Draco never did like his astronomy.
"And what do you think the stars' purposes are?"
"I don't know. Just to be there. In Space."
"I think everything has a purpose. The stars must. Why would they be there otherwise?"
Draco sighed. "Fine. Then their purpose is so silly fools can gaze up at them and believe what ever they want to."
"I shall agree with that as I believe along the same lines," Luna smiled.
He looked over at her, wondering what she meant by that. He took a few moments of looking at her before asking her, "Luna, why do you believe such rubbish? You're not a silly fool; I know you're not. So why?"
She sighed, licking her pale pink lips before responding.
"I don't, Draco."
They locked eyes and for once, he saw a slight bit of weakness in those wide eyes. "I don't know anything. I just don't think I should throw away all evidence because somebody says so. I like to think there's more to this world than this. Well, I used to think that anyway. This world – well, it used to be so empty. Nothing made sense and nobody seemed to care. Everybody just believed something because they were told to. I didn't want to do that. I wanted to believe in everything – preferring to believe that there was more of a chance of them being real than unreal. Otherwise, there was nothing left.
"Does that seem so silly to you? I suppose it does. But perhaps… perhaps you might not find this so silly. You changed that. You've made me realise that the world isn't empty. That believing in unrealistic things doesn't give it more substance. Honestly, you've changed me so much. You are the only thing I really do believe in."
''''
After Luna's confession, he had opened up more to her. That was so early in their relationship. Draco found it strange to think of how far they had become.
"Don't I count as something to you?" she asked him now.
He couldn't believe how naïve she was at that minute. Of course she counted as something to him. Or did she really think that he often sneaked up to a different houses tower and confess all his doubts, beliefs, fears and dreams to any casual blonde girl. Did she really think that he would bother to listen to all their problems? That he would actually care? That he would go out of his way and do anything to comfort them? Did she really think that he was some caring soul, looking for a mission to save he girl?
For Merlin's Sake, he was Draco Malfoy. He hadn't meant for this to happen. It just had. And Draco really couldn't believe it had, even though that had been about six months ago.
And it all started with her words.
'''
"Aren't you sick of pretending yet?"
He stopped in the middle of his taunting. He'd been calling her Loony Lovegood, telling her what a crazy old man her father was and how she'd really ought to brush her hair as it was like a bush on the top of her pasty head.
"Excuse me?"
"I asked you a simple question. Aren't you sick of pretending yet?"
He offered her no reply.
"Aren't you sick of pretending yet, Draco Malfoy? Pretending that you are just some child with no emotions? Because every human being has emotions, Draco."
"How dare you call me by my first name!" he yelled. He was feeling strange, defensive and cold.
"Every human has emotions. Everyone does. Don't you know that?"
"What do you know about me?" Draco sneered.
"More than you know. Everyone has emotions. If I told you your mother was dead, would you not feel some emotion? If I slapped you across the face like Hermione Granger did, would you not feel emotion? If I told you there was a slight chance that she might feel for you as you do her, would you not feel emotion?"
And then Draco had stopped and looked at Luna Lovegood for the first time. She knew. She knew that he had feelings for Hermione Granger. She knew something that nobody else knew.
"I think we should continue this chat somewhere else, no? Meet me at the Ravenclaw tower and I'll let you in."
"When?" He was numb.
"When you first see the moon."
''''
And then she'd brought him to Luna's place. And they'd discussed it. The fact that he had feelings for Hermione. Draco had never talked about it before. He had never discussed Hermione with anyone. And yet once he'd sat beside Luna, looking out that big window, he'd known that he could trust her.
And now, presently, she wanted him to stop pretending. Stop pretending that the only thing he felt for everyone was hate. Stop pretending that he didn't think of Luna Lovegood as his best friend. Stop pretending he wasn't in love with Hermione Granger.
And now Luna thought she didn't count as anything to him. He couldn't let her think that.
"I'll never mean that much to you, will I?" she asked him, her eyes still averted to the window. He was upset to see that she was crying. "Because I'm not Hermione? Or just because I'm not good enough for you?"
"Luna, don't be so silly…" he began but she cut him off.
"No, don't you be so silly, Draco. I'm in love with you. I feel for you what I have never felt for anyone else. I love you. You're my best friend. And you don't even care about me." Her voice never rose.
"Of course I care for you." He couldn't keep the anger form his voice. He never had been able to keep his temper. "For Merlin's Sake, you're the only thing – the only one- I can't believe…"
"Then why won't you stop pretending to everyone?" she asked him quietly.
"Because I'm not brave enough…"
'''''
"Neville Longbottom, Cho Chang, Ned Phillips, Luna Lovegood… our losses have been great. The brave have died in the fight. The innocent have been slain. But The Dark War is over," Albus Dumbledore said soberly, "and hopefully we, both the passed away and alive, will finally find peace."
Draco stood emptily at her grave. How could he have lost her? Luna? His only friend?
People were staring at him, as he stood by her grave alone, with a tear rolling down his face.
He didn't care. It was time to stop pretending.
"Luna…" he whispered. He dropped to his knees and knelt there for what seemed like a long time. People stared through their own grief to witness his, shock and surprise etched on their faces.
"I won't let them cut the daisies," he told her quietly but he knew the people could hear. Draco knew of Luna's love of weeds. She didn't think they should have been cut down for other flowers. In many ways, Luna was like a daisy. Maybe not the most beautiful flower but part of life and nature, unique and beautiful in her own way. You just had to look at the daisy in the right way to see it.
"You were the best mate I could have ever asked for. My only friend. You'll be able to see the moon and stars from here, Luna. They'll never leave you and neither will I."
It was time to stop pretending. He was brave enough now. Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley and Harry Potter were standing beside him, looking at Neville Longbottom's grave. Hermione was crying openly and the boys had tears in their eyes.
It was time to stop pretending. What had he ever held against the trio except for jealousy? He turned to them and told them, "I'm sorry for you loss."
Maybe it was because of the tear on his cheek or because his eyes kept straying back to Luna's headstone, or maybe it was because of the lack of malicious tone in his voice, or just because they were open-minded kind people, but there was no doubt in their expressions.
Harry Potter said thanks politely. Ron Weasley nodded at him and Hermione offered him a beautiful wobbling smile between her tears.
It was time to stop pretending. As the trio moved to Luna's grave to grieve, he did not move, he stood beside them.
''''''''
Just a little bit of a story that was bugging me. I am in such a writer's block, it's unreal. I'm not able to write. This just came today when I was getting ready for work. I hope this was okay and reviews are greatly wanted and cherished. I love you guys. Keep it real. X