Adjustment – Part XXIII
"That's enough!" Giles yelled. He was the only solid, clear headed individual still remaining in the house. With Xander gone, Kennedy arrested, and Willow panicking, he was on his own as far as rational thought was concerned.
"Giles, hate to be the one to point this out to you, but there's no other angle to this situation," Buffy defended, "I've had to play clean up crew way too many times for Faith, I've had it!"
"They arrested Kennedy for Faith's mistakes! They're not going to let her out until they have Faith back in," Willow added trying to conceal the panic in her tone. "She didn't do anything wrong! What's she going to say? Faith's never going to turn herself in…" Giles opened his mouth to respond but was stopped,
"Giles, can I talk to you for a minute?" Robin called from the living room. He turned away from the two girls in the kitchen and walked over to Wood. Wood motioned towards the television he had on mute and Giles saw a scrolling line at the bottom of the screen repeating, 'Wanted: escaped convict/ wanted on the count of several murders and assaults/ do not approach / if seen please call (555) 555-5555 immediately.' Behind the scrolling message was a slideshow of about three pictures they had of Faith.
"Bloody hell," Giles muttered.
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Angel walked into his office facing his desk and looked up quickly as the secret door behind his desk began to open. He walked towards his weaponry shelf and gripped an axe. Faith revealed herself as she stepped through the door. He began to take a sigh of relief then quickly reverted back to about the same amount of tension, if not more.
"Where the hell have you been?"
"Yo, Angel," she stated with her hands up defensively and squinting her eyes as though his loud voice was painful. He backed off a little but stood there, his expression pushing her for a further explanation. "Angel… I'm really sorry," she said, speaking slowly with forced relaxation. Lorne walked quietly into the office but could sense the tension from the doorway. He remained quiet and stood just inside the room looking on with concern.
"I can remember a time when you claimed you couldn't say those words," he responded jovially. "Now you're throwing them around like nothing…" He was relieved just to see her back and he pushed all of his concern and worry behind him.
"No, Angel, I… I need to be sorry… really really sorry. It's not going to change anything but-"
"Faith, what's going on?" Angel asked, his tone shifting quickly.
"Angel, I really can't do this right now," she explained, her tone trembling as she spoke.
"What the hell happened?" he asked again, the frustration in his tone quickly growing.
"Angel!" Wesley called, his tone frantic, as he practically ran into the office with a pad of paper and Xander barely a pace behind him.
"I can't handle this right now," she admitted. "I just want to go to sleep or something…"
"You're not going anywhere until I know what's going on," Angel answered as he grabbed her arm. Xander took a step forward defensively but quickly stopped realizing they were on the same team; defending her had become an automatic reflex.
She pulled against his hold defiantly but most of her energy was going into keeping her emotionally stable at the moment so he held fast. She was hardly able to maintain her visual focus on what was actually around her rather than the flashing pictures and memories being thrown around her head. Lorne watched her facial expressions very carefully and saw how she squinted and kept blinking to maintain her view on reality.
"Angel," she said angrily to conceal her plea,
"Just tell me what happened!" His fear began to take over his control and he hid it behind a mask of anger.
"Angel," Lorne interjected with a very cautioning tone. He walked towards the two of them very quickly feeling the huge waves of emotion rolling off of Faith as she stood there practically shaking. Her legs were fading underneath her and she was barely able to keep her eyes focused on what was actually in front of her. "I'm going to take Faith to lie down somewhere… that isn't here."
Angel, as well as everyone else in the room, understood exactly how quickly she needed to be out of the room by the nature of Lorne's tone. Although he understood, still begrudgingly he let go of her arm. Xander motioned to go out of the office with them but before he even took his first step he knew it best not to. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he knew he was part of why she was so upset.
"Wesley…" Angel stated firmly expecting an explanation.
"I just received a call from Giles, then I saw Xander in the corridor as I was coming to speak to you."
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"Can you do me a favor?" Lorne asked. She looked over at him semi-confused and semi-irritated.
"What?"
"Take a deep breath." She looked at him blankly, "I mean it. Faith, you look like you're about to pass out."
"I'm fine."
"It's okay to not be fine."
"Lorne, just…" she cautioned. She stopped herself, knowing he was completely there to help her, but she just wanted nothingness right now. She sat down on her bed and stared down at the ground.
"You can't detach yourself from everything… I know what you're doing. You're preparing yourself for the worst here. You want to go back to that frame of mind you used to have where no body mattered and nothing meant anything. Faith, don't do this! You've got too much to just give up and walk away."
"You don't know what you're talking about."
"You're right, I don't know that you're terrified, I don't know that you're lonely-"
"You don't know shit about me!"
"Easy," he soothed. "I'm only saying what I'm feeling, which is obviously something you don't do too often." He took a brave step forward and touched her arm – he wanted a clearer reading on her and any attempt was worth it. He was practically positive touching her arm wasn't going to work because it was hard enough to get a reading off of touch when the other was cooperating and highly concentrated but he doubted he was going to get Miss Congeniality to sing him a tune. As his hand met her flesh it felt like he had been hit in the face with a baseball bat backwards.
"Yikes!" he shouted immediately jerking his hand away.
"What the hell is your problem? Don't touch me."
"Got a little on your mind, Faith?"
"Lorne, go away."
"You've got a lot on your plate right now but you don't have to do this alone."
"I don't need anybody."
"Faith, there's a lot going on with your right now and it's going to take me a while to wrap my brain around it, but one thing that I got from just being in the room a couple of minutes ago, that boy in there loves you."
"Shut up! You don't know-"
"Oh but I do," he stated strongly, "and I know you love him too. I mean, you really love him…"
"It doesn't matter."
"Why not? He loves you, you love him… what else do you need to make that matter?"
"He doesn't want me! Okay? I don't deserve him and he doesn't want to deal with me and all of this now and he shouldn't have to. I just need to deal with this and it's not going to end well and I… I don't deserve him…" she explained. Her tone was cracked and lacking only the tears running down her cheeks she was crying.
"Get some rest, okay?" he suggested tenderly. He was getting a migraine just from being in the same building as her with the shocks of emotion ripping off of her. When he touched her arm it was hard to explain, but he felt as though it was just an intense flash of pain and hate and rage with a thousand images flashing in his eyes at once. They were images he could somewhat identify by sifting through some of them and being able to recognize certain people. One thing was for sure – the girl had baggage.
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"Kennedy?" Angel asked still trying to wrap his brain around the concept.
"Yeah," Wesley answered with Xander nodding where he was standing.
"Faith's going to flip."
"Yeah, I was going to mention it when she was walking out before, but I guess it must've slipped my mind," Xander answered sardonically. "She's got too much to deal with already… we can't add to that. She really cares about her and if she found out she'd be irrational and do something… anything, to get to her."
"Faith's got to know," Angel answered, "she'll be furious when she finds out… and she's going to find out. Buffy's going to be going absolutely ballistic and she has a certain habit of allowing herself to vent those emotions on Faith."
"I agree that she has to know, Angel, but she's in no state right now… after all, she spent the night… what did she spend the night doing? Was she still with you or…" Wesley trailed off.
"I had a hunch when I was driving past the club so I went in and found her there. She went out back with some guy and I ran around the back and he put a necklace around her neck," he reached in his pocket and took out the chain and put it on Angel's desk. "Then he pulled it tight and tried to choke her and pulled a knife. She sliced her hand really bad trying to block it and grab it away from him but then when he lunged for her again she got out of the way quickly and pushed him into the wall. She didn't do it to kill him… she didn't even push him as hard as she could… it was just a reflex. She stood there in shock staring at him as the blood pooled around him and I heard the sirens so I just grabbed her and we ran…
"We ran for a good fifteen minutes on the backstreets then we ended up at a motel. We went in and I took care of her hand. Umm… then this morning we got in a fight and when I went to get the car to drive her here I called Buffy and found out about Kennedy, then when I got back to the motel she was gone."
"How was she handling things all night?" Wesley asked still maintaining his focus on her emotional state.
"I guess the way Faith usually deals with her emotional problems…"
"How so?" he pushed.
"He fucked her Wesley," Angel answered angrily.
"Now hold on!" Xander defended.
"It's true, isn't it? She's stressed out, she wanted someone close to her… what better opportunity to use her and get a foot in the door to get her back. Didn't quite work out as you had it planned, did it?"
"It's not the type of thing there's a plan to," Xander defended.
"Angel, that's not fair," Wesley warned.
"She's freaking," Xander stated, wanting to push past the juvenile belligerence and get down to what was really important. "I'm not going to standby and let that happen to her again."
"Xander, I think if anyone tried to not standby last time it was you," Wesley complimented. "And I hate to overstep my boundaries, especially when it comes to Faith, but I think you should be the one to speak with her."
"I agree," Angel added surprisingly. He picked up the phone on his desk and pressed a button, "Harmony, send in our best line of lawyers."
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Willow hung up the phone and walked into the quiet kitchen where everyone was sitting in silence. Everything that had wanted to be said had been said and now there was nothing to do but wait for more information. Dawn, Robin, Wendy, Andrew, Giles, and Buffy all turned their heads quickly upward as Willow entered the room.
"I just got off the phone with Wesley."
"And?" Robin asked anxiously.
"The accelerated hunt for Faith isn't random. She's the prime suspect for a murder in LA last night." Buffy quickly rose out of her chair and Giles jumped forward,
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Unfortunately Faith is and always will be my problem."
"This has nothing to do with you nor do you know everything you need to know to have a valid place in this investigation."
"You know, I really hope if I go on some random killing spree you're all going to stand up for me this way."
"Buffy, it's not a spree, first of all, and secondly, it's one person in all of LA and it could've been anyone who killed them," Giles defended.
"No, it couldn't," Buffy said holding her ground. "Let me guess," she said turning to Willow, "the specs on the victim – male, age range between twenty two and twenty seven, kind of a thick, built guy, about this tall, and dark hair."
"Male, twenty five, muscular build, five eleven, and black hair," Willow answered, more than slightly shocked at Buffy's accuracy.
"Wait, how'd you know that and what does it have anything to do with proving Faith had anything to do with it?" Wood jumped in.
"I know Faith's type," she answered, "guy has the same specs as Xander… the girl don't like getting dumped and she likes him too much to take it out directly on him so…"
"She's come too far to have premeditated something like this," Giles defended again.
"Oh right, she's come so far from a psychotic serial killer who got off on hurting people – my mistake."
Leaving Buffy and Giles to their quarrel, Wood glanced over to Willow who looked extremely drawn and stressed.
"Hey," he said touching her knee and sitting down next to her, "it's going to be okay."
"I'd like to think so but I just don't," she admitted. "I'd love to say I'm a good enough person to trust Faith, but I'm not and I don't."
"Well you know what," he said encouragingly, looking Willow straight in the eye, "if there's one person in this world that Faith will do anything to not let down, it's Kennedy." He paused for a moment letting his confidence sink in, then added, "and if there's one person in this world that can do anything they set their mind to, it's Faith."
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Xander walked down the corridor lined with doors to various rooms and apartments provided by the Wolfram & Hart law firm. He was surprised with his own self-assuredness as he approached her room. A smile spread across his face as he reached her door, noting that Lorne had left the door slightly propped, leaving it ajar enough for him to enter without making a disturbance. Lorne sure was a character – his heart was in the right place; even if he had heard some faint rumor that it was actually placed in a somewhat unexpected area.
He walked into the apartment quietly not wanting to disturb her if she was sleeping but he wasn't sneaking in either. He didn't want to catch her off guard and surprise her by any means. He walked through the short hallway and saw her lying on a bed next to the wall. She was facing him and her eyes were open but directed towards the floor. She had her arms folded underneath the pillow and held it tightly.
"You alright?" he asked softly, standing only a few paces from the bed.
"You know me."
"Yeah, that's why I'm asking." The room filled with silence as she maintained her focused gaze down at the floor. "Are you hot?" he asked, his tone filling with concern as he realized her face was drenched in sweat.
"You know I don't like to brag," she answered sardonically. He could tell even through her sarcasm that she was struggling with her emotions. Keeping up with the thoughts ripping through her head at a mile a minute she felt like she was running at the same speed, leaving her covered in a layer of nervous sweat.
"What's wrong?" he asked from the bathroom as he wet a towel with some cool water. He walked back into the bedroom and motioned to touch her face with the towel. She quickly grabbed it from his hand and he offered it willingly, making it seem as though that was his original plan of flight.
"Can you just go away? Please." She sat up a little too quickly and Xander could see her gaze falter momentarily as a wave of dizziness rushed through her.
"I thought you changed," he answered firmly. "It was a big deal today for me to realize that you haven't changed at all. You're still the same teenager who loves flirting with trouble but once you catch its eye you skip out. What's that saying? When the going gets tough, she gets going…"
"I did change. I met someone who made me feel like I wanted to change so I did but then that same person made me see how useless it all was. The way people think about me is never going to change but I thought it would be worth it for that one person, but I guess I couldn't change their mind either."
"Faith…"
"Xander, what you see is what you get. And obviously you don't like what you see so just leave. Obviously I haven't changed much – or at least far from enough – so there's no reason for you to try and deal with-"
"Faith, I want you back."
"No you don't. The only reason you're thinking that is because you just got to spend a whole night with me enjoying the only thing about me that was ever worth while to you and it's making you forget all the other bullshit that-"
"I can't believe you just said that to me," he stated angrily. His complete disgust and shock that he displayed just in his tone and the change of his stance stopped her dead in her tracks.
"What?" she asked defensively.
"It just makes me kind of sick to know that that's all you give yourself credit for."
"It's all you wanted," she snapped, ignoring his jab, "a typical guy," she shrugged, "the screw was great and when it got boring for you, you got bored." Xander remained silent wanting to hear everything she had to say. "You got bored of me and I wasn't enough to keep you happy anymore so you fucked me like any other guy would – you didn't talk to me, you didn't even look at me! – and then you got up and left and when I came after you, you dumped me!"
"I hurt you," he admitted apologetically.
"And you got off on it," she remarked darkly.
"You know, Faith, not everyone's as sick as you are." He stated angrily – he would never do anything to hurt her if he could help it and he thought she knew that.
"Oh come on," she teased angrily, "you dug it, don't lie. Even just a little bit – you got to hurt me worse than anyone else for what I did to you and all your friends. You get to be the big hero now – I know no one says it out loud but it's true, you get to be the one that taught me a lesson, paid me back for what I did."
"Not even a piece of that's true, Faith. Knock it off."
"Really, Xander," she asked mockingly, standing up from the bed and walking over to him. She stood dangerously close to him so he could feel her breath on his skin – something that made him both anxious and soothed in a strange combination – as she talked in a tone that seemed very contemptuous. "So you're going to tell me when you slammed me up against that wall and fucked me that I didn't feel a hint of anger in that?" She let her question linger in his ear then she walked back towards the bed, "but don't listen to me, I'm no psychiatrist, I'm just the dumb bitch compared to Buffy, right? Buffy did the book thing and the homework thing but I hate to break it to you, I'm a little more perceptive than she is."
"Faith, you need to stop."
"Scaring you a little bit?"
"On a good day you scare me only a little bit," he jabbed. She was standing against the bed now with her hands at her sides on the mattress.
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Kennedy was shoved forward into a room almost causing her to lose her balance and fall. She wasn't used to having her hands cuffed behind her back and this cop was having a party pushing her all over the place. She had kept quiet for the entire trip – they had been practically non-stop moving too. When they arrived at the first precinct, one of the police officers practically ran to the phone and after receiving confirmation apparently from his boss told the crew of officers in charge of her that they needed to transfer her immediately to a different holding location. Apparently it was fairly well known in the ranks how difficult Faith could be and anything relating to her case they wanted elsewhere. They had gone to three locations after that and finally by the fifth stop they had clearance to stay.
The cops were having fun being not so gentle but Kennedy knew her rough walks and car rides were a lot better than things were going to be when they sat her down for questioning. Her state was a mixture – she was proud of herself that she didn't feel afraid but she wasn't completely unafraid. It was more that fear hadn't taken precedent in her mind. Her thoughts were primarily on Faith.
Before her and Xander had broken up without even blinking she would say she knew Faith would come back and fix all of this. And even now she didn't dismiss the idea – she knew… well, she wanted to be able to know, Faith. But Faith had done some things since their breakup – primarily walking out on all of them – that made her a little uncertain about how much she actually knew Faith. She had trusted her and loved her like a sister or even a mother, but she never thought she'd be able to just leave. Sure, she had heard from Willow and Buffy that Faith had a tendency to split but she had convinced herself that that was the old Faith and that the new Faith was different and that part of her was gone. She thought that she had some loyalties with her but when she watched Faith just walk out of the door that day she couldn't really count on that anymore.
So she really was torn. She wanted to be sure that Faith would come back for her but she didn't want to think of herself so highly either. It was fairly common knowledge that when Faith left she left everything – she left because she wanted to just drop everything associated with what she was leaving: friends, belongings, feelings, emotions, thoughts, memories, etc. and Kennedy couldn't help but feel like just one of those things that Faith had dropped on her way out. But she also had an overwhelming respect for her. She knew there was that part of Faith that just always amazed everyone – she could do anything and she had no problem proving it. She really wasn't sure what she wanted to happen though – she didn't want to be overly confident of either scenario because she didn't want to be disappointed in Faith and she also didn't really want Faith to get in trouble. She knew if Faith showed up things were going to go from bad to worse either for Faith personally or for the lives of these officers.
She was shoved again towards a chair in the room and she turned to glare at the uniformed man who pushed her. She wouldn't mind Faith kicking this guys ass. She stood in front of the chair waiting for the officer to take the cuffs off of her so she could sit somewhat comfortably.
"I'm not stupid," he snapped, "just sit down."
"They always say not to judge a book by it's cover," she answered sardonically as she sat down.
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He glanced over her quickly but very critically, trying to find something to help him get a good feel for her state. As his eyes reached her hands he saw she was clenching the bed tightly and the tension of her grip could be seen in the sharp muscle lines in her wrists.
"Faith, I get it, okay?" he stated firmly, "you've got more shit held inside of you than you can handle anymore and something's got to give a little and talking smack with me vents some of it out. That's good – it's better for you to let it out and show you're angry than to hold it all in. I get it, I understand… you need to do this to make it all manageable and that's okay. I know you don't want to admit all that - emotions pent up and everything - but it is and it's better for you to lash out a little bit than to wait till you just can't hold it back anymore. I get that and it doesn't change how I feel about you. There are a lot of things about you that scare the shit out of me – I'm scared to death that I'll lose you either because someone takes you away from me or that I can't make you happy; I'm scared that I'm not the perfect person for you and that me being with you keeps you from meeting that perfect person that can make you even happier; I'm scared I'm going to hurt you or make the wounds inside of you even deeper.
"I'm so scared, Faith, but I love you and I need you back. You deserve to feel so much different about yourself and I want to make that happen." He knew he could've kept talking about how much he loved her all night – it wouldn't have been the first time – but he could tell how uncomfortable she was with it as she stared strictly down at the ground and held the bed tightly. "Faith, please don't block me out like I'm just some asshole spouting off lines to you," he begged.
"That's all you're doing."
"No," he stated, taking a step closer to her.
"I believed you once," she stated, holding a defensive stance against his approach.
"Faith," he said softly, reaching out with his hand towards hers. He tried to hold it but she held her grip on the bed. He settled for touching the outside of her hand softly as he looked up into her face. He struggled to get a look directly into her eyes since hers were transfixed on the ground trying to avoid him seeing anything inside of her. He stepped towards her again needing some form of acknowledgement.
She seemed frozen against him; standing there rigidly with her arms straight down at her sides and down to the bed, which she gripped mercilessly. He had now stepped up to her so that he was standing right in front of her, barely inches between them. He raised his hands up to her arms and rubbed them softly and comfortingly. She was tight and seemingly unresponsive to him but inside she was struggling to contain herself.
"Faith, can you listen to what you feel inside and actually trust it? You don't need to hold back everything. I know you think you do, and believe me, there are a lot of things that you don't listen to because you know how dangerous they are but Faith, please, be a little less strong than you think you have to be about this. Need somebody… need me." He needed so badly to just be able to hold her and take away some of the tension that was clearly shredding her apart inside – if it was hurting her it was killing him.
She knew and she was aware that he knew it too – she loved him and there was no denying it. With him it hadn't just been one of those first time loves that seem strong but eventually can be gotten over – she loved him and until the day she died she knew she would still feel the same way about him. But everything inside of her screamed conflicting paths: she wanted to just let go and have him hold her so tightly she wouldn't be able to breath or feel the pain inside of her but at the same time she wasn't sure if she could let go and not take with it the consequences of completely letting go. She was scared of herself and he knew it.
"Faith, this doesn't have to be anything – you don't have to make this your decision – but please, let me hold you." It was a weird feeling but he didn't think he was just making it up – her skin seemed to soften to his touch even if her muscles hadn't yet. He stopped the slow motion with his hands and held them still on her arms.
As she was halfway through a seeming sigh of relief and acceptance a cop car pursuing a speeding vehicle on the street outside of the Wolfram & Hart building went by, its sirens clearly audible and the flashing lights were clearly reflected off of the windows in the room. Xander felt the tension rip through her like a bolt of lightning had struck. Her back had originally been to the window and she quickly jumped away from the bed and turned looking at the window as she backed up. Xander had jumped as well as the screaming sirens went by – he moved quickly towards the window wanting to be able to pacify her that it was going by.
"It's nothing," he soothed, walking back towards her. She shook her head from side of side, still fairly panicked,
"I can't do this… I can't… I don't want it to be over… I don't want to go back… I can't… I don't want to be done… Xander, I don't want it to be over," she stammered, closely bordering hysterics. Xander quickly left the window and went to her, wrapping his arms tightly around her when he reached her,
"It's okay, it was just a speeding car or something…" He held her as tightly as he could, feeling her thundering pulse against his skin.
"I don't want to be done… I can't-"
"What are you talking about?"
"You really think if they catch me they're just going to lock me up again?" she asked, tears brimming her eyes as she asked him. He quickly became aware of what she was talking about – an escaped con guilty on several counts of murder and assault, and one who had murdered again, wasn't likely to just get locked up again, the punishment would most likely be far more severe.
"It's going to be okay," he soothed, even though his own voice had begun to falter. Seeing her cry was the quickest way to make him upset over something.
"Okay," she said, forcing herself to regain her composure, "I just have to figure this out. I just have to think about what I'm going to do and…" she began to chant aloud stepping away from his hold and pacing slowly back and forth. "God this used to be so much easier!" she stated angrily. "Okay," she began again, "I just have to stay cool and do what I got to do and not worry about it… they don't have anything so I'm alright… I just have to-" She had forced her entire demeanor to shift now at least appearing strong and in control of everything
"Faith…" She stopped pacing and looked over at him. "They have Kennedy."
"What are you talking about?" she asked, her tone angry.
"I just got the quick explanation from Willow, apparently it had something to do with these pictures," he reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out the pictures of the two of them and handed them to Faith. She took them and didn't even look at them, she just remained looking at Xander. "The authorities figured out she knew you and they arrested her on those grounds."
"No they didn't," she stated, needing desperately to be right. "They can't do that."
"Like you said, we just need to think about this and figure it out and-" he said trying to keep her in her composed state that he could tell she was quickly drifting away from.
"Why would they do that? Is she okay? They can't hurt her, right?"
"Hey," he said softly walking back up to her and holding her arms, "it's okay."
"I don't want to go back but I'm not letting her stay there. We've got to go… I can't let her stay there… I…"
"Whoa, we just need to think about this," he stated holding onto her tightly.
"I don't have time to think," she snapped, "I just need to get her out of there and there's a very simple solution to that."
"No!" he yelled, "that's not going to be the plan. You do need to think about this because you need to get both of you out of there."
"That's not going to happen. I either walk in there with my hands up and never see the light of day again or I go in there fighting and get myself and possibly her killed."
"These aren't demons you're fighting, they have rules they have to run by, they can't kill you."
"Xander, if I walk in there with a fight they're not going to hesitate pulling triggers. They want me dead anyway."
"No!" he stated angrily. He held her arms tightly again, "I'm not going to lose you! I can't lose you…" She stayed still in his arms looking down into his chest pensively. He held her needing it more than his next breath and he couldn't help but hate himself for waiting this long to get her back so that he only had a few moments before he would have to let her go and perhaps never be able to hold her again. He had his head rested on top of hers but after a few moments of noticing how still she was he brought his head back to look at her.
Like the calm before the storm her eyes were still and soft and her features were blank and motionless. She looked up into his face and he saw the tears start to stream from the corners of her eyes. The silent tears quickly became sobs that she tried to mute by burying her face in his chest. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly and both of them sank to the ground; Xander sat with one leg underneath him and the other propped up with his knee bent and she sat nestled in his lap. The side of her face rested on his chest now as he gently stroked her other cheek with his hand trying to dry away the tears. As he dried one section of her cheek and moved to another, the first was drenched again by the steady stream flowing across her cheeks. She shook slightly in his arms as she cried – a sight he had only been the third person to ever witness, only preceded by Angel and Wesley from a distance.
Trying her hardest to stifle her sobs, Faith looked up at Xander broodingly,
"Do you love me?" she asked through breathy sobs and strained voice. Her tone didn't yearn for a specific answer it just longed for the feeling of truth. Xander looked into her eyes deeply and answered,
"I love you more than life itself." She lifted her lips to his and kissed him softly then rested her head on his chest again.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. He just held her quietly fighting back his own tears from flowing. She readjusted her head on his chest and gripped his shirt in her fist. "You love me?" she asked again.
"I love you," he said looking into her face. She leaned forward and kissed him again, caressing his lips softer than it seemed possible. He loved the way she kissed him but it broke his heart as he felt her lips trembling against his because of how much she was struggling to keep from crying anymore.
"I'll always feel this way about you," she whispered, her lips still touching his. He knew how much her words meant but he couldn't help but hear the piece of her tone that was convinced it was over for her.
"Faith, you're coming back," he stated firmly but unable to hide how close he was to tears himself.
"Yeah," she soothed with a soft nod as she stroked his cheek, "I'll be back and tonight we can hang out and watch some bad, old movie together, and we can get some pizza, and we can eat more than we should in a week, and you can hold me and make love to me and we'll fall asleep with you still inside of me and-" her forced smile finally collapsed and her trembling lips finally needed to be clenched tightly shut and her squinted eyes finally released a tidal wave of tears. "I'll be back and tonight we'll be together… I'll be back and… and you'll…" She stopped herself and wiped the tears from her eyes and stood up off of his lap. She felt like she couldn't breathe.
"Faith…"
"I've got to get her out of there, Xander."
--------------------
"Let's try this once again, shall we? Who is the woman in the picture," the interrogator asked again, barely able to regain and maintain his composure. Kennedy stared off into space aloofly not even looking in the direction of the picture. The man slammed his fist down onto the table to get her attention. She jumped at the sudden noise and he slammed another picture down in front of her. Opposed to the first picture he showed which was of Faith in a normal headshot the second was a picture taken after she had gotten into a huge brawl involving both inmates and several guards. Her face was badly bruised and she looked exhausted and drained. Kennedy swallowed hard at the picture, knowing it was an image that would forever be ingrained in her memory.
"Who is she?" the interrogator pressed again. Kennedy didn't even move a muscle in her face to answer and he added, "fine, I'll tell you who she is, she' s a psychopathic, murdering fucking whore is who she is!" he screamed. At that Kennedy jumped out of her seat hitting the table in front of her with her legs as she got up, sending it flying forward into the guy. He stepped quickly to the side to avoid the direct blow but his expression with his twisted lips was a good indication that he'd have a nice bruise the next day. Her hands were still tightly bound behind her and she kept her mouth as tightly shut. With her jaw twitching from anger she sat back down in her seat as though nothing had happened.
"So you do know her…"
"Yes," Kennedy finally answered.
"Do you know how many people she's killed?"
"No," Kennedy answered honestly.
"Do you want me to tell you?"
"No."
"Okay," he answered as though she had answered yes. He flipped open one of the manila envelopes he had on the table and took out a series of prints and lined them up in front of her. There were several pictures of the victim from the club – frontal shots showing the stab wound through his chest; there were pictures of Finch, the Mayor's assistant with a wound through his heart, and there were pictures of the professor with several stab wounds through his chest as well. Kennedy felt a flood of nausea rush through her stomach and she quickly averted her eyes. The man left the pictures in front of her and walked out of the room.
----------------
Willow paced anxiously back and forth in the kitchen. Wood hung up the telephone with a sigh and shook his head at Giles.
"They're just sending me around in circles… I get one number and they either say they've transferred her to another location and give me a different number or when I call the new number they tell me they don't know what I'm talking about and they give me somewhere else to call!"
"We should've followed them… we shouldn't have let them out of our sight! We deal with demons and vampires but we let a group of police officers lock us in the dark!" Willow stated frantically. They had contacted Angel and Wesley and let them know about the difficulty locating Kennedy and they too were on the hunt to find her whereabouts.
------------------
"This is getting nowhere," the interrogator stated angrily. "This is ridiculous – first of all, I doubt this woman, judging by her perfidious records is going to come back to clear anyone's name, and secondly, this girl is most definitely a friend of hers because she's just as bloody difficult to deal with! We're trading one pain in the ass for another here… hell, she doesn't even prevaricate, she just doesn't even acknowledge the questions."
"She seems alright," Stevenson defended jokingly – him and his squad still amused over the table being send flying into the pompous interrogator.
"Oh yeah, a real princess of rectitude…"
"Don't you wish you could have kids just like her some day?" he asked sarcastically. The chief, Officer Brian, stepped in and added,
"If she's acting like she's got something to hide than there's going to be no trade."
"So now you're not sequestering Faith?" the man asked with confusion.
"No, of course we will. Are you kidding, if we see that girl we're jumping on her and I don't care if we have to chain her up, she's coming into custody. But if this one seems like she's in on something than she has to remain under surveillance as well… we have more than enough to extend the warrant."
----------------------
"Okay," Buffy answered definitively as she hung up the phone with Wesley.
"What's up?" Wood asked quickly. He walked in pace with her as she headed quickly for her jacket on the kitchen table.
"They got me a location – she's being held at Lockwood Penitentiary Quarters in the Interrogation Wing. It's a maximum security federal prison… they're not playing around. But unfortunately it's actually closer to LA than it is to here… apparently they kept getting transferred until they finally moved into LA's branch of holdings."
"How far from LA?" Giles asked.
"About two hours out of the city…"
"So we're off by a long shot here."
"If I leave now then-"
"Then you won't be there for hours…" Giles concluded.
"Giles, I'm not going to wait around here and wait for Faith to step up and do the right thing… the life of a Slayer is known to be short, I don't want to spend the rest of it waiting for that miracle."
-----------------------
Angel, Lorne, and Wesley had all formed a little camp out in one of the corridors leading towards Faith's digs. Angel leaned on the wall as Wesley sat with his upper body slumped over his legs and Lorne sat comfortably with a stiff cocktail. After extensive research and endless calls and contacts they had finally found the location, at least temporarily, of Kennedy's whereabouts. They had given that information to Buffy and now they had to wait on Faith. Ultimately it was her decision and Angel nor anyone else was going to try and take it away from her. It was her life and – in this situation – it was ultimately her choice as to how she wanted it to end.
Angel was the first to hear the door open and the firm footsteps along the corridor ground. He turned his attention quickly towards the direction of Faith's door and the others followed suit. She appeared from around the corner with Xander barely a pace behind her,
"Faith-" Angel began but was cut off by her immediately demand,
"Keys."
"What?"
"I need a car," she answered bluntly walking past him and continuing in the direction towards the main building and his office. Lorne, Wesley and Angel followed Xander behind her towards the office.
"Faith, listen to me," Angel interjected as she began to shuffle through the papers in his desk drawer.
"Where are they?"
"Faith…"
"I know you've got like fifty cars downstairs, where-"
"Faith, you have to listen." He continued talking to her as he followed her out of his office, across the hall, and into Wesley's office. "This isn't just some pickup you're doing…" he explained. She reached under the desk and only a few moments later pulled out a gun.
"I know," she answered.
"How did you know that was there?" Wesley asked dumbfounded. She shrugged and answered,
"I know your type, Wes." All present witnesses were all too aware of the shift in Faith's demeanor from earlier that night. If not observed fully it was possible to misdiagnose her state as having drifted back into the darkness, but Xander soothed his fears – if soothed could be the term – by watching the tightly clenched muscle of her jaw that she held firmly to maintain her seemingly indifferent composure.
"Faith-" Angel began again.
"Angel, keys," she repeated firmly.
"They're all in the cars," he submitted. She gave a slight nod of acknowledgement in his direction and headed out of the door and towards the garage.
---------------------------
Joey, the officer that had been working closely with Stevenson on the case outside of the bar in LA walked through the corridor in the interrogation wing of the penitentiary. He was accompanied by Eddy one of the old time officers that had worked at Stockton Penitentiary while Faith had been held there. Due to his seniority at the penitentiary he was able to pick which time slots he wanted to fill. He wasn't old in any sense of the word, just barely past his thirtieth birthday, but the way he liked to think of it, if you lasted more than a week in this place than you have seniority. He had gotten wind of the major task underway and found out his girl Faith was what all the huff was about. He had been the guard working the yard while she was serving time and he had to say – he loved that chick!
She just brightened his day… he liked that she would talk to him straight – say what she wanted to say and didn't spare anything – not like he was a guard, just like he was a person. Working in a place like this, it was easy to forget that everyone there was just a person. He had taken an interest in her case and familiarized himself with her background; even after her escape he still had respect for the girl. She had a hard time with the majority of the guards in the place – he knew it was probably just because they were all intimidated to the bone by her – and a hell of a lot more trouble with the other cons, but the people she did get along with, they were still talking about her on occasion and small phrases coined by her were still being tossed around by a few of the guards.
Joe and Ed were making their way towards the room where Kennedy was being held. They walked into the adjacent room where the group of officers were gathered with a glass wall in at the room Kennedy was sitting in.
"So what do we got?" Ed asked, handing a cup of coffee over to Officer Brian. "Is this girl a friend of Faith's?"
"You talk about her like you two are buds," Stevenson mocked.
"We kind of were," he answered. "I've got nothing against her… she didn't start anything with anyone and most of the other woman were too scared to do anything to her so in the long run it just made my job easier."
"Oh, so you have nothing against the convicted murderer?"
"I know it sounds strange, but she's a nice kid," he defended without getting defensive.
"Nice looking is about the only way I can see that word being used with her."
"Well, I don't know about you, but I think I'm the only person in here that's actually held a conversation with her, several, I might add, and my opinion of her is that she's a nice girl." Joey stood rigidly in the room – he worked with Stevenson but as far as this case went he was having a lot of trouble dealing with him. His liked to maintain a neutral approach in every case and this one right from the beginning, he felt that his partner's vision had been skewed against this girl. He couldn't help but jump slightly when Officer Brian's cell phone rang loudly throughout the room. He picked up the phone and had a short conversation in which the entire room remained silent.
-------------------------
Xander ran briskly behind Faith through the maze of corridors and secret entrances that they needed to go through in order to end up in Angel's toy box. He made a mental note that Faith was jogging through the corridors; to him it meant she was nervous. From casual sweeps to detrimental missions he had always noticed Faith would walk quickly, but it was always a walk, if not a strut. To him, her jogging signaled insecurity and fear, a big flashing light going off that she believed she was too late before she had even started.
They reached the garage a Faith scanned the cars quickly then headed straight towards a black, Ford Mustang Convertible.
"Girl knows what she likes," Xander commented as she reached for the door handle.
"I just need to know what'll get me there fast," she answered shortly.
"Okay," he answered, his tone trying to get her to stop being so agitated. The top was down and he motioned to jump in and she quickly set herself between him and his destination.
"What are you doing?" she asked quickly.
"Getting in the car," he stated, confused that she doubted he was coming at any point but both firm as to not allow that doubt to go any further if she had.
"No."
"And why not?"
"Xander!" she defended childishly – her tone could be likened to a younger sibling whining at their older brother when they just couldn't explain why they were right they just were and it couldn't be questioned.
"I'm coming with you," he stated, giving her no other option, and stepped around her and motioned to get into the car again.
"You can't!" she answered, moving in front of him again and grabbing his arm. He used the hand of the arm she was holding to touch her waist and eased her to the side so he could get in the car, "Xander, stop it," she said, her tone shifting from a demanding yell now to an almost submissive plea.
"Why?" She took a deep breath to soothe her frustration that he wasn't just listening to her but insisting on an explanation; one which she knew he knew was hard for her.
"I'm terrified that I'm not going to be able to do this and while I'm trying, if anything happens to her I don't know what I'll do… I can't even start to think about what I would do if something happened to you." Xander nodded understandingly, leaned forward and kissed her softly on her cheek. She closed her eyes for a moment to just calm her nerves and allow herself to enjoy him for a just a moment. He stood up straight and without even looking back over at him she turned towards the car and got into the driver's seat. She started the car and listened to thunderous purr of the engine. She took another deep breath then glanced over her shoulder towards where Xander had been standing. A panic swept through her seeing no one and she looked around her almost frantically. She finally turned her eyes towards the passenger seat and saw him sitting comfortably, already buckled in.
"Did any of that sentimental shit mean anything to you?" she asked more in disbelief than anger.
"Yes," he answered blankly. Then with a slight smile cutting across his face he added, "but the thought of passing up getting to be in a muscle car like this with you 'steering it around the curves' and then possibly getting to see you in some serious bondage… sounds like the beginning of a damn good porn movie if you ask me." She closed her eyes and by the time she opened them they both couldn't hide the grin on their faces.
"Freak," she muttered jokingly. With a sigh she shifted the car into gear and sped out of the garage.
----------------------------------
While waiting for Officer Brian's conversation to come to a close, Joey took the opportunity to get a good visual of Kennedy.
She was sitting in the empty room alone and although she certainly seemed to have a level of anxiety in her, she seemed strangely confident and she seemed to radiate a sense of strength. He laughed inwardly at himself for making such presumptuous observations when he was just looking at a girl sitting alone in a room completely still and unfocused on anything.
"We've got to transfer," Brian announced as he hung up the phone.
"What?" Stevenson asked quickly. The interrogator's expression was that of relief, the transfer meaning that he no longer had to deal with Kennedy. He too sensed the strength and confidence that Kennedy held – the demeanor of a Slayer – and it put him on edge. He wasn't used to dealing with people that were so strong.
"They want us to move again."
"Sir," Joey asked, "If I may, what exactly is the point of this? Don't we want Faith to know where she is so that she'll come here or are we hoping that she'll come here and we'll already be gone?"
"A direct interception would be very dangerous," he answered honestly. "I'd like to avoid having both of these girls on the same premises if possible."
"I'll-" Stevenson began but Joey quickly cut him off with Ed ready right behind him,
"I'll bring her out to the car." Joey and Ed walked through the door and into the room Kennedy was in.
----------------------
"So let me try and get this, you guys have to be subordinate to them until you become scummy assholes…" Kennedy conjectured. Joey tried to maintain a respectful countenance but Eddy broke out in laughter.
"I don't care what they say," Eddy claimed through his laughter, "you're definitely a friend of Faith's." Kennedy couldn't help but feel a rush of pride being so easily associated with someone she thought so much of.
"Did you know her?" Kennedy asked as they walked through the corridor. She was handcuffed behind her back and Eddy and Joey both were walking at her sides with their hands around her arms. They were both talking in a friendly, relaxed manner but she assumed from working in a place like this that it had become habitual for them to keep their other, free hand firmly planted on their guns around their waist.
"Yeah I knew her," Eddy said with a smile. "You two close?" he asked jovially. Kennedy began to answer but Joey immediately cut her off.
"I just want to make sure you know that we'll be responsible to report anything you say that might be evidence." Kennedy nodded, appreciating his honesty and integrity. They reached the car and Eddy helped Kennedy into the backseat. Stevenson, Brian, and Carter all approached from a different route they had taken out of the building and filed into two other police cars: Carter and Stevenson into one and Brian into the other.
----------------
"So," Lorne chirped in, breaking the silence that had been yet to be broken since Faith and Xander had exited. Everyone exchanged worried glances and Lorne continued, "do you think those two made up while they were in her room? They seemed a lot more… together, but not really, but I'm just assuming it's as together as Faith let's herself seem with someone who she's maybe, possibly-"
"Lorne," Angel scolded.
"They do, don't they Wesley?"
"I don't see it ending well," Wesley answered.
"They two of them?" Lorne asked baffled by Wesley's negativity, "those two were made for one another – it radiates off of them like nuclear radiation in a power plant!"
"No, I meant this… this situation. How can it end well? Angel, we didn't even inquire about her plan! Did she even go with a plan?"
"I'm riding on the fact that Faith's not going to let Kennedy get hurt and Xander's not going to let Faith get hurt…"
"What about Xander?"
----------------
Faith sped down the narrow side street at eighty five miles an hour – the speed wasn't really what was scaring him, it was just the fact that the street she insisted on driving on was only wide enough for the car and perhaps one of Xander's big toes to go by each other at the same time and the road was a twenty miles an hour speed zone, and that was ignoring the stop signs at every intersection that she was whizzing by.
"So what's this sudden interest in what I look like in bondage?" she asked glancing over at him. He forced himself to answer the question quickly wanting her to look back to the road as soon as possible.
"I don't know," he shrugged, "heard it suited you."
"Yeah," she said with a sarcastic laugh, "suits me about as well as the picket fence and two point five kids."
"You'd like that," he answered.
"Sure, I like it when a guy can tie me down once in a while, but-"
"I meant the other part."
"Let's stick to realistic fantasies, shall we?"
"Why can't that be realistic?"
"Cause it can't," she answered, her tone more defensive than it needed to be.
"Why?" he asked with a smile.
"I can't have kids, alright."
"Faith, talk to me," he soothed, seeing how riled she was getting.
"Not really the time, babe," she answered, swerving slightly as a car approached perpendicularly to theirs from another street. She passed it quickly and Xander reached his hand to hers and touched it gently. She glanced over at his face then added, "I was pregnant a long time ago and I was way too young to be spitting out a kid so I went in to one of those shady clinics and they took care of it but they said they fucked up or something and I can't have kids…"
"I didn't know that…"
"You're the first," she stated nonchalantly, wanting as quickly to forget the conversation as the passing street names they were flying past.
"Faith…"
"I don't want to talk about it, okay," she scolded.
"No, Faith, look!" Xander repeated as they quickly approached a cross street with a car driving in front of them. He hadn't even realized until after he said it that it was a police car. She slammed on the breaks, the screeching tires echoing noisily off the sides of the concrete buildings. The car skidded forward into the cross street and she turned the tire to the side as soon as she realized the type of vehicle. She turned the wheel away from the direction the cop car had been going in wanting to be able to get a head start away once the turn was made but as the car came back under control, sliding sideways into the other street so that the car was now facing the right direction to be traveling on the cross street she heard another vehicles screeching tires.
"Oh shit!" Joey yelled as he slammed on the breaks causing Kennedy and Eddy both to be jerked forward in their seats, Kennedy more so due to her lacking the stability support of her hands.
"Oh my God!" Kennedy yelled seeing Faith and Xander now stopped right in front of them looking right at them.
"This is going to be interesting," Eddy commented recognizing Faith immediately. Brian had been the first car, which had now stopped, quickly realizing the hold up and Stevenson and Carter both un-holstered their guns and exited their vehicle, shielding themselves with the door.
Faith quickly realized her luck – still unsure whether it was good or bad but – she jumped out of the car with her hands clearly held at her sides.
"Xander, stay down," she commanded softly as she left him in the car. He stayed quiet until he saw the gun she had taken from Wesley still lying on the empty driver's seat.
"Faith!" he scolded, angry that this had become her plan.
"Kennedy," she called, approaching the cop car slowly, "are you okay?"
"Faith," Eddy stated, slowly exiting the vehicle with his gun ready at his side, "she's okay, Faith." Joey exited the vehicle as well, following Ed's example and having his gun ready but not cocked.
"Faith," Brian said, standing cautiously by his car that was located behind her back. His tone was firm but the fear in it was obvious. "Don't try and pull any stupid stunts here," he warned.
"Kennedy!" she called out, ignoring his warning.
"She's okay, Faith," Eddy promised. "She's fine."
"Kennedy!" she called again.
"Joe," Ed said quickly. Joey nodded and with his hands clearly visible to Faith he approached the backseat of his car and opened the door, helping Kennedy out. Stevenson watched angrily but still afraid to come out from behind his car.
"I wouldn't lie to you," Eddy said honestly, "she's fine."
"Me for her, Eddy, no tricks," Faith promised.
"What?" Kennedy asked, completely not in agreement with Faith's promise. The rest of the officers began to slowly approach closer to Faith, their guns ready in front of them but pointed towards the ground. Xander shook furiously in the car watching what was going on – it made him furious to see other guys even looking at her, now he had to watch a pack of them not only looking at her but ready to shoot her if she breathed wrong too.
"No tricks?" Eddy asked taking another step towards her.
"Nothing shady… go ahead, cuff me," she added holding her hands out towards him. He grabbed the cuffs from his waist and secured one hand then running the cuffs through the door frame and the empty space of where the window went when it wasn't rolled down as it was he secured the second so that she was now cuffed to the car door. Xander was sick seeing how cowardly all of the other officers were, only rushing forward now that she was chained up. He became furious when he saw them slam her up against the car and check her for weapons, or tricks, or maybe even a rabbit up her sleeve… who knows what they could be hassling her about. He felt his insides screaming seeing how she was just holding everything in and not even muttering a word of protest as they roughly pushed her and patted her down.
"She's clean," Joey stated wanting to get everyone to back off.
"Faith…" Kennedy muttered sadly, seeing like Xander, how much she was holding back. And for what? Her.
"You okay?" Faith asked.
"I'm fine, Faith, I'm fine."
"Now let her go." Joey walked towards Kennedy and Stevenson immediately yelled,
"No way!"
"Eddy!" Faith yelled over to him, her tone panicked. "No tricks… that goes both ways. Here I am, I don't get any more chained up than this! Let her go!"
"Faith," Brian stated, "she just needs to go through an interrogation session than she'll be free to go… that's just some questions… it's no big deal."
"Let her go!" she screamed furiously.
"You don't get to give orders," Stevenson yelled back. All of the officers were standing in a huddle on the side of one police car, the one directly in front of the Mustang, with Faith cuffed to the front door and Kennedy standing still cuffed by the truck. Joey was standing behind Kennedy, Eddy behind Faith, Brian and Carter were standing by the hood of the vehicle and Stevenson was standing between Faith and Kennedy. All of them had resheathed their guns when Xander approached holding Wesley's gun ready in front of him. He stood in front of Faith at an angle, about two meters off of the car.
"Uncuff her," he demanded looking at Kennedy. He held his gun up towards Joey as he made his demand. Following hostage procedure, Joey tried to control his shaking hand as he tried to unlock the cuffs around Kennedy's wrist. He undid both and then dropped them to the ground,
"Alright," Joey answered.
"You," Xander said now pointing his gun at Eddy, "get those off of her right now!" His voice was shaking with anger but the gun was held steady at it's target.
"It's okay," Faith answered, "just get her out of here." Officer Stevenson heard Kennedy take a step towards Xander and he quickly reached for and pulled out his gun,
"I don't think so," he yelled, pointing the barrel of his gun right into Faith's face. She held her breath tightly then gasped hearing the loud gunshot explode in front of her. It took her a moment to realize the loud sound hadn't send a bullet into her. She opened her eyes and saw Stevenson fall to the ground, blood pouring from his skull.
"Now I said, fucking un-cuff her!" he screamed at Eddy.
"Okay," he said nervously.
"Nobody fucking move or I'll fucking put a bullet in every single one of your heads," he threatened viciously.
"Okay," Eddy repeated as the cuffs fell to the ground.
"Nobody try anything," Xander warned as he backed towards the car with Kennedy backing up behind him towards the car. He had to reach forward and grab Faith by the arm to snap her out of her daze. She couldn't breathe – it wasn't like there was anything keeping her from her next breath it was more that she felt that she had forgotten how to inhale.
Brian and Carter bent down to Stevenson's body, immediately checking for the vital signs that were nowhere to be found and Eddy and Joe remained motionless as Faith, Kennedy, and Xander backed into the car and Xander drove away quickly. Once they were out of sight Joey immediately picked up his radio,
"Officer down, officer down, I repeat, officer down! Keep a close eye out for a speeding black mustang convertible heading due South from location."
"That's enough!" Giles yelled. He was the only solid, clear headed individual still remaining in the house. With Xander gone, Kennedy arrested, and Willow panicking, he was on his own as far as rational thought was concerned.
"Giles, hate to be the one to point this out to you, but there's no other angle to this situation," Buffy defended, "I've had to play clean up crew way too many times for Faith, I've had it!"
"They arrested Kennedy for Faith's mistakes! They're not going to let her out until they have Faith back in," Willow added trying to conceal the panic in her tone. "She didn't do anything wrong! What's she going to say? Faith's never going to turn herself in…" Giles opened his mouth to respond but was stopped,
"Giles, can I talk to you for a minute?" Robin called from the living room. He turned away from the two girls in the kitchen and walked over to Wood. Wood motioned towards the television he had on mute and Giles saw a scrolling line at the bottom of the screen repeating, 'Wanted: escaped convict/ wanted on the count of several murders and assaults/ do not approach / if seen please call (555) 555-5555 immediately.' Behind the scrolling message was a slideshow of about three pictures they had of Faith.
"Bloody hell," Giles muttered.
--------
Angel walked into his office facing his desk and looked up quickly as the secret door behind his desk began to open. He walked towards his weaponry shelf and gripped an axe. Faith revealed herself as she stepped through the door. He began to take a sigh of relief then quickly reverted back to about the same amount of tension, if not more.
"Where the hell have you been?"
"Yo, Angel," she stated with her hands up defensively and squinting her eyes as though his loud voice was painful. He backed off a little but stood there, his expression pushing her for a further explanation. "Angel… I'm really sorry," she said, speaking slowly with forced relaxation. Lorne walked quietly into the office but could sense the tension from the doorway. He remained quiet and stood just inside the room looking on with concern.
"I can remember a time when you claimed you couldn't say those words," he responded jovially. "Now you're throwing them around like nothing…" He was relieved just to see her back and he pushed all of his concern and worry behind him.
"No, Angel, I… I need to be sorry… really really sorry. It's not going to change anything but-"
"Faith, what's going on?" Angel asked, his tone shifting quickly.
"Angel, I really can't do this right now," she explained, her tone trembling as she spoke.
"What the hell happened?" he asked again, the frustration in his tone quickly growing.
"Angel!" Wesley called, his tone frantic, as he practically ran into the office with a pad of paper and Xander barely a pace behind him.
"I can't handle this right now," she admitted. "I just want to go to sleep or something…"
"You're not going anywhere until I know what's going on," Angel answered as he grabbed her arm. Xander took a step forward defensively but quickly stopped realizing they were on the same team; defending her had become an automatic reflex.
She pulled against his hold defiantly but most of her energy was going into keeping her emotionally stable at the moment so he held fast. She was hardly able to maintain her visual focus on what was actually around her rather than the flashing pictures and memories being thrown around her head. Lorne watched her facial expressions very carefully and saw how she squinted and kept blinking to maintain her view on reality.
"Angel," she said angrily to conceal her plea,
"Just tell me what happened!" His fear began to take over his control and he hid it behind a mask of anger.
"Angel," Lorne interjected with a very cautioning tone. He walked towards the two of them very quickly feeling the huge waves of emotion rolling off of Faith as she stood there practically shaking. Her legs were fading underneath her and she was barely able to keep her eyes focused on what was actually in front of her. "I'm going to take Faith to lie down somewhere… that isn't here."
Angel, as well as everyone else in the room, understood exactly how quickly she needed to be out of the room by the nature of Lorne's tone. Although he understood, still begrudgingly he let go of her arm. Xander motioned to go out of the office with them but before he even took his first step he knew it best not to. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he knew he was part of why she was so upset.
"Wesley…" Angel stated firmly expecting an explanation.
"I just received a call from Giles, then I saw Xander in the corridor as I was coming to speak to you."
-----------
"Can you do me a favor?" Lorne asked. She looked over at him semi-confused and semi-irritated.
"What?"
"Take a deep breath." She looked at him blankly, "I mean it. Faith, you look like you're about to pass out."
"I'm fine."
"It's okay to not be fine."
"Lorne, just…" she cautioned. She stopped herself, knowing he was completely there to help her, but she just wanted nothingness right now. She sat down on her bed and stared down at the ground.
"You can't detach yourself from everything… I know what you're doing. You're preparing yourself for the worst here. You want to go back to that frame of mind you used to have where no body mattered and nothing meant anything. Faith, don't do this! You've got too much to just give up and walk away."
"You don't know what you're talking about."
"You're right, I don't know that you're terrified, I don't know that you're lonely-"
"You don't know shit about me!"
"Easy," he soothed. "I'm only saying what I'm feeling, which is obviously something you don't do too often." He took a brave step forward and touched her arm – he wanted a clearer reading on her and any attempt was worth it. He was practically positive touching her arm wasn't going to work because it was hard enough to get a reading off of touch when the other was cooperating and highly concentrated but he doubted he was going to get Miss Congeniality to sing him a tune. As his hand met her flesh it felt like he had been hit in the face with a baseball bat backwards.
"Yikes!" he shouted immediately jerking his hand away.
"What the hell is your problem? Don't touch me."
"Got a little on your mind, Faith?"
"Lorne, go away."
"You've got a lot on your plate right now but you don't have to do this alone."
"I don't need anybody."
"Faith, there's a lot going on with your right now and it's going to take me a while to wrap my brain around it, but one thing that I got from just being in the room a couple of minutes ago, that boy in there loves you."
"Shut up! You don't know-"
"Oh but I do," he stated strongly, "and I know you love him too. I mean, you really love him…"
"It doesn't matter."
"Why not? He loves you, you love him… what else do you need to make that matter?"
"He doesn't want me! Okay? I don't deserve him and he doesn't want to deal with me and all of this now and he shouldn't have to. I just need to deal with this and it's not going to end well and I… I don't deserve him…" she explained. Her tone was cracked and lacking only the tears running down her cheeks she was crying.
"Get some rest, okay?" he suggested tenderly. He was getting a migraine just from being in the same building as her with the shocks of emotion ripping off of her. When he touched her arm it was hard to explain, but he felt as though it was just an intense flash of pain and hate and rage with a thousand images flashing in his eyes at once. They were images he could somewhat identify by sifting through some of them and being able to recognize certain people. One thing was for sure – the girl had baggage.
---------------
"Kennedy?" Angel asked still trying to wrap his brain around the concept.
"Yeah," Wesley answered with Xander nodding where he was standing.
"Faith's going to flip."
"Yeah, I was going to mention it when she was walking out before, but I guess it must've slipped my mind," Xander answered sardonically. "She's got too much to deal with already… we can't add to that. She really cares about her and if she found out she'd be irrational and do something… anything, to get to her."
"Faith's got to know," Angel answered, "she'll be furious when she finds out… and she's going to find out. Buffy's going to be going absolutely ballistic and she has a certain habit of allowing herself to vent those emotions on Faith."
"I agree that she has to know, Angel, but she's in no state right now… after all, she spent the night… what did she spend the night doing? Was she still with you or…" Wesley trailed off.
"I had a hunch when I was driving past the club so I went in and found her there. She went out back with some guy and I ran around the back and he put a necklace around her neck," he reached in his pocket and took out the chain and put it on Angel's desk. "Then he pulled it tight and tried to choke her and pulled a knife. She sliced her hand really bad trying to block it and grab it away from him but then when he lunged for her again she got out of the way quickly and pushed him into the wall. She didn't do it to kill him… she didn't even push him as hard as she could… it was just a reflex. She stood there in shock staring at him as the blood pooled around him and I heard the sirens so I just grabbed her and we ran…
"We ran for a good fifteen minutes on the backstreets then we ended up at a motel. We went in and I took care of her hand. Umm… then this morning we got in a fight and when I went to get the car to drive her here I called Buffy and found out about Kennedy, then when I got back to the motel she was gone."
"How was she handling things all night?" Wesley asked still maintaining his focus on her emotional state.
"I guess the way Faith usually deals with her emotional problems…"
"How so?" he pushed.
"He fucked her Wesley," Angel answered angrily.
"Now hold on!" Xander defended.
"It's true, isn't it? She's stressed out, she wanted someone close to her… what better opportunity to use her and get a foot in the door to get her back. Didn't quite work out as you had it planned, did it?"
"It's not the type of thing there's a plan to," Xander defended.
"Angel, that's not fair," Wesley warned.
"She's freaking," Xander stated, wanting to push past the juvenile belligerence and get down to what was really important. "I'm not going to standby and let that happen to her again."
"Xander, I think if anyone tried to not standby last time it was you," Wesley complimented. "And I hate to overstep my boundaries, especially when it comes to Faith, but I think you should be the one to speak with her."
"I agree," Angel added surprisingly. He picked up the phone on his desk and pressed a button, "Harmony, send in our best line of lawyers."
------------------
Willow hung up the phone and walked into the quiet kitchen where everyone was sitting in silence. Everything that had wanted to be said had been said and now there was nothing to do but wait for more information. Dawn, Robin, Wendy, Andrew, Giles, and Buffy all turned their heads quickly upward as Willow entered the room.
"I just got off the phone with Wesley."
"And?" Robin asked anxiously.
"The accelerated hunt for Faith isn't random. She's the prime suspect for a murder in LA last night." Buffy quickly rose out of her chair and Giles jumped forward,
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Unfortunately Faith is and always will be my problem."
"This has nothing to do with you nor do you know everything you need to know to have a valid place in this investigation."
"You know, I really hope if I go on some random killing spree you're all going to stand up for me this way."
"Buffy, it's not a spree, first of all, and secondly, it's one person in all of LA and it could've been anyone who killed them," Giles defended.
"No, it couldn't," Buffy said holding her ground. "Let me guess," she said turning to Willow, "the specs on the victim – male, age range between twenty two and twenty seven, kind of a thick, built guy, about this tall, and dark hair."
"Male, twenty five, muscular build, five eleven, and black hair," Willow answered, more than slightly shocked at Buffy's accuracy.
"Wait, how'd you know that and what does it have anything to do with proving Faith had anything to do with it?" Wood jumped in.
"I know Faith's type," she answered, "guy has the same specs as Xander… the girl don't like getting dumped and she likes him too much to take it out directly on him so…"
"She's come too far to have premeditated something like this," Giles defended again.
"Oh right, she's come so far from a psychotic serial killer who got off on hurting people – my mistake."
Leaving Buffy and Giles to their quarrel, Wood glanced over to Willow who looked extremely drawn and stressed.
"Hey," he said touching her knee and sitting down next to her, "it's going to be okay."
"I'd like to think so but I just don't," she admitted. "I'd love to say I'm a good enough person to trust Faith, but I'm not and I don't."
"Well you know what," he said encouragingly, looking Willow straight in the eye, "if there's one person in this world that Faith will do anything to not let down, it's Kennedy." He paused for a moment letting his confidence sink in, then added, "and if there's one person in this world that can do anything they set their mind to, it's Faith."
------------
Xander walked down the corridor lined with doors to various rooms and apartments provided by the Wolfram & Hart law firm. He was surprised with his own self-assuredness as he approached her room. A smile spread across his face as he reached her door, noting that Lorne had left the door slightly propped, leaving it ajar enough for him to enter without making a disturbance. Lorne sure was a character – his heart was in the right place; even if he had heard some faint rumor that it was actually placed in a somewhat unexpected area.
He walked into the apartment quietly not wanting to disturb her if she was sleeping but he wasn't sneaking in either. He didn't want to catch her off guard and surprise her by any means. He walked through the short hallway and saw her lying on a bed next to the wall. She was facing him and her eyes were open but directed towards the floor. She had her arms folded underneath the pillow and held it tightly.
"You alright?" he asked softly, standing only a few paces from the bed.
"You know me."
"Yeah, that's why I'm asking." The room filled with silence as she maintained her focused gaze down at the floor. "Are you hot?" he asked, his tone filling with concern as he realized her face was drenched in sweat.
"You know I don't like to brag," she answered sardonically. He could tell even through her sarcasm that she was struggling with her emotions. Keeping up with the thoughts ripping through her head at a mile a minute she felt like she was running at the same speed, leaving her covered in a layer of nervous sweat.
"What's wrong?" he asked from the bathroom as he wet a towel with some cool water. He walked back into the bedroom and motioned to touch her face with the towel. She quickly grabbed it from his hand and he offered it willingly, making it seem as though that was his original plan of flight.
"Can you just go away? Please." She sat up a little too quickly and Xander could see her gaze falter momentarily as a wave of dizziness rushed through her.
"I thought you changed," he answered firmly. "It was a big deal today for me to realize that you haven't changed at all. You're still the same teenager who loves flirting with trouble but once you catch its eye you skip out. What's that saying? When the going gets tough, she gets going…"
"I did change. I met someone who made me feel like I wanted to change so I did but then that same person made me see how useless it all was. The way people think about me is never going to change but I thought it would be worth it for that one person, but I guess I couldn't change their mind either."
"Faith…"
"Xander, what you see is what you get. And obviously you don't like what you see so just leave. Obviously I haven't changed much – or at least far from enough – so there's no reason for you to try and deal with-"
"Faith, I want you back."
"No you don't. The only reason you're thinking that is because you just got to spend a whole night with me enjoying the only thing about me that was ever worth while to you and it's making you forget all the other bullshit that-"
"I can't believe you just said that to me," he stated angrily. His complete disgust and shock that he displayed just in his tone and the change of his stance stopped her dead in her tracks.
"What?" she asked defensively.
"It just makes me kind of sick to know that that's all you give yourself credit for."
"It's all you wanted," she snapped, ignoring his jab, "a typical guy," she shrugged, "the screw was great and when it got boring for you, you got bored." Xander remained silent wanting to hear everything she had to say. "You got bored of me and I wasn't enough to keep you happy anymore so you fucked me like any other guy would – you didn't talk to me, you didn't even look at me! – and then you got up and left and when I came after you, you dumped me!"
"I hurt you," he admitted apologetically.
"And you got off on it," she remarked darkly.
"You know, Faith, not everyone's as sick as you are." He stated angrily – he would never do anything to hurt her if he could help it and he thought she knew that.
"Oh come on," she teased angrily, "you dug it, don't lie. Even just a little bit – you got to hurt me worse than anyone else for what I did to you and all your friends. You get to be the big hero now – I know no one says it out loud but it's true, you get to be the one that taught me a lesson, paid me back for what I did."
"Not even a piece of that's true, Faith. Knock it off."
"Really, Xander," she asked mockingly, standing up from the bed and walking over to him. She stood dangerously close to him so he could feel her breath on his skin – something that made him both anxious and soothed in a strange combination – as she talked in a tone that seemed very contemptuous. "So you're going to tell me when you slammed me up against that wall and fucked me that I didn't feel a hint of anger in that?" She let her question linger in his ear then she walked back towards the bed, "but don't listen to me, I'm no psychiatrist, I'm just the dumb bitch compared to Buffy, right? Buffy did the book thing and the homework thing but I hate to break it to you, I'm a little more perceptive than she is."
"Faith, you need to stop."
"Scaring you a little bit?"
"On a good day you scare me only a little bit," he jabbed. She was standing against the bed now with her hands at her sides on the mattress.
-----------------
Kennedy was shoved forward into a room almost causing her to lose her balance and fall. She wasn't used to having her hands cuffed behind her back and this cop was having a party pushing her all over the place. She had kept quiet for the entire trip – they had been practically non-stop moving too. When they arrived at the first precinct, one of the police officers practically ran to the phone and after receiving confirmation apparently from his boss told the crew of officers in charge of her that they needed to transfer her immediately to a different holding location. Apparently it was fairly well known in the ranks how difficult Faith could be and anything relating to her case they wanted elsewhere. They had gone to three locations after that and finally by the fifth stop they had clearance to stay.
The cops were having fun being not so gentle but Kennedy knew her rough walks and car rides were a lot better than things were going to be when they sat her down for questioning. Her state was a mixture – she was proud of herself that she didn't feel afraid but she wasn't completely unafraid. It was more that fear hadn't taken precedent in her mind. Her thoughts were primarily on Faith.
Before her and Xander had broken up without even blinking she would say she knew Faith would come back and fix all of this. And even now she didn't dismiss the idea – she knew… well, she wanted to be able to know, Faith. But Faith had done some things since their breakup – primarily walking out on all of them – that made her a little uncertain about how much she actually knew Faith. She had trusted her and loved her like a sister or even a mother, but she never thought she'd be able to just leave. Sure, she had heard from Willow and Buffy that Faith had a tendency to split but she had convinced herself that that was the old Faith and that the new Faith was different and that part of her was gone. She thought that she had some loyalties with her but when she watched Faith just walk out of the door that day she couldn't really count on that anymore.
So she really was torn. She wanted to be sure that Faith would come back for her but she didn't want to think of herself so highly either. It was fairly common knowledge that when Faith left she left everything – she left because she wanted to just drop everything associated with what she was leaving: friends, belongings, feelings, emotions, thoughts, memories, etc. and Kennedy couldn't help but feel like just one of those things that Faith had dropped on her way out. But she also had an overwhelming respect for her. She knew there was that part of Faith that just always amazed everyone – she could do anything and she had no problem proving it. She really wasn't sure what she wanted to happen though – she didn't want to be overly confident of either scenario because she didn't want to be disappointed in Faith and she also didn't really want Faith to get in trouble. She knew if Faith showed up things were going to go from bad to worse either for Faith personally or for the lives of these officers.
She was shoved again towards a chair in the room and she turned to glare at the uniformed man who pushed her. She wouldn't mind Faith kicking this guys ass. She stood in front of the chair waiting for the officer to take the cuffs off of her so she could sit somewhat comfortably.
"I'm not stupid," he snapped, "just sit down."
"They always say not to judge a book by it's cover," she answered sardonically as she sat down.
----------------------
He glanced over her quickly but very critically, trying to find something to help him get a good feel for her state. As his eyes reached her hands he saw she was clenching the bed tightly and the tension of her grip could be seen in the sharp muscle lines in her wrists.
"Faith, I get it, okay?" he stated firmly, "you've got more shit held inside of you than you can handle anymore and something's got to give a little and talking smack with me vents some of it out. That's good – it's better for you to let it out and show you're angry than to hold it all in. I get it, I understand… you need to do this to make it all manageable and that's okay. I know you don't want to admit all that - emotions pent up and everything - but it is and it's better for you to lash out a little bit than to wait till you just can't hold it back anymore. I get that and it doesn't change how I feel about you. There are a lot of things about you that scare the shit out of me – I'm scared to death that I'll lose you either because someone takes you away from me or that I can't make you happy; I'm scared that I'm not the perfect person for you and that me being with you keeps you from meeting that perfect person that can make you even happier; I'm scared I'm going to hurt you or make the wounds inside of you even deeper.
"I'm so scared, Faith, but I love you and I need you back. You deserve to feel so much different about yourself and I want to make that happen." He knew he could've kept talking about how much he loved her all night – it wouldn't have been the first time – but he could tell how uncomfortable she was with it as she stared strictly down at the ground and held the bed tightly. "Faith, please don't block me out like I'm just some asshole spouting off lines to you," he begged.
"That's all you're doing."
"No," he stated, taking a step closer to her.
"I believed you once," she stated, holding a defensive stance against his approach.
"Faith," he said softly, reaching out with his hand towards hers. He tried to hold it but she held her grip on the bed. He settled for touching the outside of her hand softly as he looked up into her face. He struggled to get a look directly into her eyes since hers were transfixed on the ground trying to avoid him seeing anything inside of her. He stepped towards her again needing some form of acknowledgement.
She seemed frozen against him; standing there rigidly with her arms straight down at her sides and down to the bed, which she gripped mercilessly. He had now stepped up to her so that he was standing right in front of her, barely inches between them. He raised his hands up to her arms and rubbed them softly and comfortingly. She was tight and seemingly unresponsive to him but inside she was struggling to contain herself.
"Faith, can you listen to what you feel inside and actually trust it? You don't need to hold back everything. I know you think you do, and believe me, there are a lot of things that you don't listen to because you know how dangerous they are but Faith, please, be a little less strong than you think you have to be about this. Need somebody… need me." He needed so badly to just be able to hold her and take away some of the tension that was clearly shredding her apart inside – if it was hurting her it was killing him.
She knew and she was aware that he knew it too – she loved him and there was no denying it. With him it hadn't just been one of those first time loves that seem strong but eventually can be gotten over – she loved him and until the day she died she knew she would still feel the same way about him. But everything inside of her screamed conflicting paths: she wanted to just let go and have him hold her so tightly she wouldn't be able to breath or feel the pain inside of her but at the same time she wasn't sure if she could let go and not take with it the consequences of completely letting go. She was scared of herself and he knew it.
"Faith, this doesn't have to be anything – you don't have to make this your decision – but please, let me hold you." It was a weird feeling but he didn't think he was just making it up – her skin seemed to soften to his touch even if her muscles hadn't yet. He stopped the slow motion with his hands and held them still on her arms.
As she was halfway through a seeming sigh of relief and acceptance a cop car pursuing a speeding vehicle on the street outside of the Wolfram & Hart building went by, its sirens clearly audible and the flashing lights were clearly reflected off of the windows in the room. Xander felt the tension rip through her like a bolt of lightning had struck. Her back had originally been to the window and she quickly jumped away from the bed and turned looking at the window as she backed up. Xander had jumped as well as the screaming sirens went by – he moved quickly towards the window wanting to be able to pacify her that it was going by.
"It's nothing," he soothed, walking back towards her. She shook her head from side of side, still fairly panicked,
"I can't do this… I can't… I don't want it to be over… I don't want to go back… I can't… I don't want to be done… Xander, I don't want it to be over," she stammered, closely bordering hysterics. Xander quickly left the window and went to her, wrapping his arms tightly around her when he reached her,
"It's okay, it was just a speeding car or something…" He held her as tightly as he could, feeling her thundering pulse against his skin.
"I don't want to be done… I can't-"
"What are you talking about?"
"You really think if they catch me they're just going to lock me up again?" she asked, tears brimming her eyes as she asked him. He quickly became aware of what she was talking about – an escaped con guilty on several counts of murder and assault, and one who had murdered again, wasn't likely to just get locked up again, the punishment would most likely be far more severe.
"It's going to be okay," he soothed, even though his own voice had begun to falter. Seeing her cry was the quickest way to make him upset over something.
"Okay," she said, forcing herself to regain her composure, "I just have to figure this out. I just have to think about what I'm going to do and…" she began to chant aloud stepping away from his hold and pacing slowly back and forth. "God this used to be so much easier!" she stated angrily. "Okay," she began again, "I just have to stay cool and do what I got to do and not worry about it… they don't have anything so I'm alright… I just have to-" She had forced her entire demeanor to shift now at least appearing strong and in control of everything
"Faith…" She stopped pacing and looked over at him. "They have Kennedy."
"What are you talking about?" she asked, her tone angry.
"I just got the quick explanation from Willow, apparently it had something to do with these pictures," he reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out the pictures of the two of them and handed them to Faith. She took them and didn't even look at them, she just remained looking at Xander. "The authorities figured out she knew you and they arrested her on those grounds."
"No they didn't," she stated, needing desperately to be right. "They can't do that."
"Like you said, we just need to think about this and figure it out and-" he said trying to keep her in her composed state that he could tell she was quickly drifting away from.
"Why would they do that? Is she okay? They can't hurt her, right?"
"Hey," he said softly walking back up to her and holding her arms, "it's okay."
"I don't want to go back but I'm not letting her stay there. We've got to go… I can't let her stay there… I…"
"Whoa, we just need to think about this," he stated holding onto her tightly.
"I don't have time to think," she snapped, "I just need to get her out of there and there's a very simple solution to that."
"No!" he yelled, "that's not going to be the plan. You do need to think about this because you need to get both of you out of there."
"That's not going to happen. I either walk in there with my hands up and never see the light of day again or I go in there fighting and get myself and possibly her killed."
"These aren't demons you're fighting, they have rules they have to run by, they can't kill you."
"Xander, if I walk in there with a fight they're not going to hesitate pulling triggers. They want me dead anyway."
"No!" he stated angrily. He held her arms tightly again, "I'm not going to lose you! I can't lose you…" She stayed still in his arms looking down into his chest pensively. He held her needing it more than his next breath and he couldn't help but hate himself for waiting this long to get her back so that he only had a few moments before he would have to let her go and perhaps never be able to hold her again. He had his head rested on top of hers but after a few moments of noticing how still she was he brought his head back to look at her.
Like the calm before the storm her eyes were still and soft and her features were blank and motionless. She looked up into his face and he saw the tears start to stream from the corners of her eyes. The silent tears quickly became sobs that she tried to mute by burying her face in his chest. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly and both of them sank to the ground; Xander sat with one leg underneath him and the other propped up with his knee bent and she sat nestled in his lap. The side of her face rested on his chest now as he gently stroked her other cheek with his hand trying to dry away the tears. As he dried one section of her cheek and moved to another, the first was drenched again by the steady stream flowing across her cheeks. She shook slightly in his arms as she cried – a sight he had only been the third person to ever witness, only preceded by Angel and Wesley from a distance.
Trying her hardest to stifle her sobs, Faith looked up at Xander broodingly,
"Do you love me?" she asked through breathy sobs and strained voice. Her tone didn't yearn for a specific answer it just longed for the feeling of truth. Xander looked into her eyes deeply and answered,
"I love you more than life itself." She lifted her lips to his and kissed him softly then rested her head on his chest again.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. He just held her quietly fighting back his own tears from flowing. She readjusted her head on his chest and gripped his shirt in her fist. "You love me?" she asked again.
"I love you," he said looking into her face. She leaned forward and kissed him again, caressing his lips softer than it seemed possible. He loved the way she kissed him but it broke his heart as he felt her lips trembling against his because of how much she was struggling to keep from crying anymore.
"I'll always feel this way about you," she whispered, her lips still touching his. He knew how much her words meant but he couldn't help but hear the piece of her tone that was convinced it was over for her.
"Faith, you're coming back," he stated firmly but unable to hide how close he was to tears himself.
"Yeah," she soothed with a soft nod as she stroked his cheek, "I'll be back and tonight we can hang out and watch some bad, old movie together, and we can get some pizza, and we can eat more than we should in a week, and you can hold me and make love to me and we'll fall asleep with you still inside of me and-" her forced smile finally collapsed and her trembling lips finally needed to be clenched tightly shut and her squinted eyes finally released a tidal wave of tears. "I'll be back and tonight we'll be together… I'll be back and… and you'll…" She stopped herself and wiped the tears from her eyes and stood up off of his lap. She felt like she couldn't breathe.
"Faith…"
"I've got to get her out of there, Xander."
--------------------
"Let's try this once again, shall we? Who is the woman in the picture," the interrogator asked again, barely able to regain and maintain his composure. Kennedy stared off into space aloofly not even looking in the direction of the picture. The man slammed his fist down onto the table to get her attention. She jumped at the sudden noise and he slammed another picture down in front of her. Opposed to the first picture he showed which was of Faith in a normal headshot the second was a picture taken after she had gotten into a huge brawl involving both inmates and several guards. Her face was badly bruised and she looked exhausted and drained. Kennedy swallowed hard at the picture, knowing it was an image that would forever be ingrained in her memory.
"Who is she?" the interrogator pressed again. Kennedy didn't even move a muscle in her face to answer and he added, "fine, I'll tell you who she is, she' s a psychopathic, murdering fucking whore is who she is!" he screamed. At that Kennedy jumped out of her seat hitting the table in front of her with her legs as she got up, sending it flying forward into the guy. He stepped quickly to the side to avoid the direct blow but his expression with his twisted lips was a good indication that he'd have a nice bruise the next day. Her hands were still tightly bound behind her and she kept her mouth as tightly shut. With her jaw twitching from anger she sat back down in her seat as though nothing had happened.
"So you do know her…"
"Yes," Kennedy finally answered.
"Do you know how many people she's killed?"
"No," Kennedy answered honestly.
"Do you want me to tell you?"
"No."
"Okay," he answered as though she had answered yes. He flipped open one of the manila envelopes he had on the table and took out a series of prints and lined them up in front of her. There were several pictures of the victim from the club – frontal shots showing the stab wound through his chest; there were pictures of Finch, the Mayor's assistant with a wound through his heart, and there were pictures of the professor with several stab wounds through his chest as well. Kennedy felt a flood of nausea rush through her stomach and she quickly averted her eyes. The man left the pictures in front of her and walked out of the room.
----------------
Willow paced anxiously back and forth in the kitchen. Wood hung up the telephone with a sigh and shook his head at Giles.
"They're just sending me around in circles… I get one number and they either say they've transferred her to another location and give me a different number or when I call the new number they tell me they don't know what I'm talking about and they give me somewhere else to call!"
"We should've followed them… we shouldn't have let them out of our sight! We deal with demons and vampires but we let a group of police officers lock us in the dark!" Willow stated frantically. They had contacted Angel and Wesley and let them know about the difficulty locating Kennedy and they too were on the hunt to find her whereabouts.
------------------
"This is getting nowhere," the interrogator stated angrily. "This is ridiculous – first of all, I doubt this woman, judging by her perfidious records is going to come back to clear anyone's name, and secondly, this girl is most definitely a friend of hers because she's just as bloody difficult to deal with! We're trading one pain in the ass for another here… hell, she doesn't even prevaricate, she just doesn't even acknowledge the questions."
"She seems alright," Stevenson defended jokingly – him and his squad still amused over the table being send flying into the pompous interrogator.
"Oh yeah, a real princess of rectitude…"
"Don't you wish you could have kids just like her some day?" he asked sarcastically. The chief, Officer Brian, stepped in and added,
"If she's acting like she's got something to hide than there's going to be no trade."
"So now you're not sequestering Faith?" the man asked with confusion.
"No, of course we will. Are you kidding, if we see that girl we're jumping on her and I don't care if we have to chain her up, she's coming into custody. But if this one seems like she's in on something than she has to remain under surveillance as well… we have more than enough to extend the warrant."
----------------------
"Okay," Buffy answered definitively as she hung up the phone with Wesley.
"What's up?" Wood asked quickly. He walked in pace with her as she headed quickly for her jacket on the kitchen table.
"They got me a location – she's being held at Lockwood Penitentiary Quarters in the Interrogation Wing. It's a maximum security federal prison… they're not playing around. But unfortunately it's actually closer to LA than it is to here… apparently they kept getting transferred until they finally moved into LA's branch of holdings."
"How far from LA?" Giles asked.
"About two hours out of the city…"
"So we're off by a long shot here."
"If I leave now then-"
"Then you won't be there for hours…" Giles concluded.
"Giles, I'm not going to wait around here and wait for Faith to step up and do the right thing… the life of a Slayer is known to be short, I don't want to spend the rest of it waiting for that miracle."
-----------------------
Angel, Lorne, and Wesley had all formed a little camp out in one of the corridors leading towards Faith's digs. Angel leaned on the wall as Wesley sat with his upper body slumped over his legs and Lorne sat comfortably with a stiff cocktail. After extensive research and endless calls and contacts they had finally found the location, at least temporarily, of Kennedy's whereabouts. They had given that information to Buffy and now they had to wait on Faith. Ultimately it was her decision and Angel nor anyone else was going to try and take it away from her. It was her life and – in this situation – it was ultimately her choice as to how she wanted it to end.
Angel was the first to hear the door open and the firm footsteps along the corridor ground. He turned his attention quickly towards the direction of Faith's door and the others followed suit. She appeared from around the corner with Xander barely a pace behind her,
"Faith-" Angel began but was cut off by her immediately demand,
"Keys."
"What?"
"I need a car," she answered bluntly walking past him and continuing in the direction towards the main building and his office. Lorne, Wesley and Angel followed Xander behind her towards the office.
"Faith, listen to me," Angel interjected as she began to shuffle through the papers in his desk drawer.
"Where are they?"
"Faith…"
"I know you've got like fifty cars downstairs, where-"
"Faith, you have to listen." He continued talking to her as he followed her out of his office, across the hall, and into Wesley's office. "This isn't just some pickup you're doing…" he explained. She reached under the desk and only a few moments later pulled out a gun.
"I know," she answered.
"How did you know that was there?" Wesley asked dumbfounded. She shrugged and answered,
"I know your type, Wes." All present witnesses were all too aware of the shift in Faith's demeanor from earlier that night. If not observed fully it was possible to misdiagnose her state as having drifted back into the darkness, but Xander soothed his fears – if soothed could be the term – by watching the tightly clenched muscle of her jaw that she held firmly to maintain her seemingly indifferent composure.
"Faith-" Angel began again.
"Angel, keys," she repeated firmly.
"They're all in the cars," he submitted. She gave a slight nod of acknowledgement in his direction and headed out of the door and towards the garage.
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Joey, the officer that had been working closely with Stevenson on the case outside of the bar in LA walked through the corridor in the interrogation wing of the penitentiary. He was accompanied by Eddy one of the old time officers that had worked at Stockton Penitentiary while Faith had been held there. Due to his seniority at the penitentiary he was able to pick which time slots he wanted to fill. He wasn't old in any sense of the word, just barely past his thirtieth birthday, but the way he liked to think of it, if you lasted more than a week in this place than you have seniority. He had gotten wind of the major task underway and found out his girl Faith was what all the huff was about. He had been the guard working the yard while she was serving time and he had to say – he loved that chick!
She just brightened his day… he liked that she would talk to him straight – say what she wanted to say and didn't spare anything – not like he was a guard, just like he was a person. Working in a place like this, it was easy to forget that everyone there was just a person. He had taken an interest in her case and familiarized himself with her background; even after her escape he still had respect for the girl. She had a hard time with the majority of the guards in the place – he knew it was probably just because they were all intimidated to the bone by her – and a hell of a lot more trouble with the other cons, but the people she did get along with, they were still talking about her on occasion and small phrases coined by her were still being tossed around by a few of the guards.
Joe and Ed were making their way towards the room where Kennedy was being held. They walked into the adjacent room where the group of officers were gathered with a glass wall in at the room Kennedy was sitting in.
"So what do we got?" Ed asked, handing a cup of coffee over to Officer Brian. "Is this girl a friend of Faith's?"
"You talk about her like you two are buds," Stevenson mocked.
"We kind of were," he answered. "I've got nothing against her… she didn't start anything with anyone and most of the other woman were too scared to do anything to her so in the long run it just made my job easier."
"Oh, so you have nothing against the convicted murderer?"
"I know it sounds strange, but she's a nice kid," he defended without getting defensive.
"Nice looking is about the only way I can see that word being used with her."
"Well, I don't know about you, but I think I'm the only person in here that's actually held a conversation with her, several, I might add, and my opinion of her is that she's a nice girl." Joey stood rigidly in the room – he worked with Stevenson but as far as this case went he was having a lot of trouble dealing with him. His liked to maintain a neutral approach in every case and this one right from the beginning, he felt that his partner's vision had been skewed against this girl. He couldn't help but jump slightly when Officer Brian's cell phone rang loudly throughout the room. He picked up the phone and had a short conversation in which the entire room remained silent.
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Xander ran briskly behind Faith through the maze of corridors and secret entrances that they needed to go through in order to end up in Angel's toy box. He made a mental note that Faith was jogging through the corridors; to him it meant she was nervous. From casual sweeps to detrimental missions he had always noticed Faith would walk quickly, but it was always a walk, if not a strut. To him, her jogging signaled insecurity and fear, a big flashing light going off that she believed she was too late before she had even started.
They reached the garage a Faith scanned the cars quickly then headed straight towards a black, Ford Mustang Convertible.
"Girl knows what she likes," Xander commented as she reached for the door handle.
"I just need to know what'll get me there fast," she answered shortly.
"Okay," he answered, his tone trying to get her to stop being so agitated. The top was down and he motioned to jump in and she quickly set herself between him and his destination.
"What are you doing?" she asked quickly.
"Getting in the car," he stated, confused that she doubted he was coming at any point but both firm as to not allow that doubt to go any further if she had.
"No."
"And why not?"
"Xander!" she defended childishly – her tone could be likened to a younger sibling whining at their older brother when they just couldn't explain why they were right they just were and it couldn't be questioned.
"I'm coming with you," he stated, giving her no other option, and stepped around her and motioned to get into the car again.
"You can't!" she answered, moving in front of him again and grabbing his arm. He used the hand of the arm she was holding to touch her waist and eased her to the side so he could get in the car, "Xander, stop it," she said, her tone shifting from a demanding yell now to an almost submissive plea.
"Why?" She took a deep breath to soothe her frustration that he wasn't just listening to her but insisting on an explanation; one which she knew he knew was hard for her.
"I'm terrified that I'm not going to be able to do this and while I'm trying, if anything happens to her I don't know what I'll do… I can't even start to think about what I would do if something happened to you." Xander nodded understandingly, leaned forward and kissed her softly on her cheek. She closed her eyes for a moment to just calm her nerves and allow herself to enjoy him for a just a moment. He stood up straight and without even looking back over at him she turned towards the car and got into the driver's seat. She started the car and listened to thunderous purr of the engine. She took another deep breath then glanced over her shoulder towards where Xander had been standing. A panic swept through her seeing no one and she looked around her almost frantically. She finally turned her eyes towards the passenger seat and saw him sitting comfortably, already buckled in.
"Did any of that sentimental shit mean anything to you?" she asked more in disbelief than anger.
"Yes," he answered blankly. Then with a slight smile cutting across his face he added, "but the thought of passing up getting to be in a muscle car like this with you 'steering it around the curves' and then possibly getting to see you in some serious bondage… sounds like the beginning of a damn good porn movie if you ask me." She closed her eyes and by the time she opened them they both couldn't hide the grin on their faces.
"Freak," she muttered jokingly. With a sigh she shifted the car into gear and sped out of the garage.
----------------------------------
While waiting for Officer Brian's conversation to come to a close, Joey took the opportunity to get a good visual of Kennedy.
She was sitting in the empty room alone and although she certainly seemed to have a level of anxiety in her, she seemed strangely confident and she seemed to radiate a sense of strength. He laughed inwardly at himself for making such presumptuous observations when he was just looking at a girl sitting alone in a room completely still and unfocused on anything.
"We've got to transfer," Brian announced as he hung up the phone.
"What?" Stevenson asked quickly. The interrogator's expression was that of relief, the transfer meaning that he no longer had to deal with Kennedy. He too sensed the strength and confidence that Kennedy held – the demeanor of a Slayer – and it put him on edge. He wasn't used to dealing with people that were so strong.
"They want us to move again."
"Sir," Joey asked, "If I may, what exactly is the point of this? Don't we want Faith to know where she is so that she'll come here or are we hoping that she'll come here and we'll already be gone?"
"A direct interception would be very dangerous," he answered honestly. "I'd like to avoid having both of these girls on the same premises if possible."
"I'll-" Stevenson began but Joey quickly cut him off with Ed ready right behind him,
"I'll bring her out to the car." Joey and Ed walked through the door and into the room Kennedy was in.
----------------------
"So let me try and get this, you guys have to be subordinate to them until you become scummy assholes…" Kennedy conjectured. Joey tried to maintain a respectful countenance but Eddy broke out in laughter.
"I don't care what they say," Eddy claimed through his laughter, "you're definitely a friend of Faith's." Kennedy couldn't help but feel a rush of pride being so easily associated with someone she thought so much of.
"Did you know her?" Kennedy asked as they walked through the corridor. She was handcuffed behind her back and Eddy and Joey both were walking at her sides with their hands around her arms. They were both talking in a friendly, relaxed manner but she assumed from working in a place like this that it had become habitual for them to keep their other, free hand firmly planted on their guns around their waist.
"Yeah I knew her," Eddy said with a smile. "You two close?" he asked jovially. Kennedy began to answer but Joey immediately cut her off.
"I just want to make sure you know that we'll be responsible to report anything you say that might be evidence." Kennedy nodded, appreciating his honesty and integrity. They reached the car and Eddy helped Kennedy into the backseat. Stevenson, Brian, and Carter all approached from a different route they had taken out of the building and filed into two other police cars: Carter and Stevenson into one and Brian into the other.
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"So," Lorne chirped in, breaking the silence that had been yet to be broken since Faith and Xander had exited. Everyone exchanged worried glances and Lorne continued, "do you think those two made up while they were in her room? They seemed a lot more… together, but not really, but I'm just assuming it's as together as Faith let's herself seem with someone who she's maybe, possibly-"
"Lorne," Angel scolded.
"They do, don't they Wesley?"
"I don't see it ending well," Wesley answered.
"They two of them?" Lorne asked baffled by Wesley's negativity, "those two were made for one another – it radiates off of them like nuclear radiation in a power plant!"
"No, I meant this… this situation. How can it end well? Angel, we didn't even inquire about her plan! Did she even go with a plan?"
"I'm riding on the fact that Faith's not going to let Kennedy get hurt and Xander's not going to let Faith get hurt…"
"What about Xander?"
----------------
Faith sped down the narrow side street at eighty five miles an hour – the speed wasn't really what was scaring him, it was just the fact that the street she insisted on driving on was only wide enough for the car and perhaps one of Xander's big toes to go by each other at the same time and the road was a twenty miles an hour speed zone, and that was ignoring the stop signs at every intersection that she was whizzing by.
"So what's this sudden interest in what I look like in bondage?" she asked glancing over at him. He forced himself to answer the question quickly wanting her to look back to the road as soon as possible.
"I don't know," he shrugged, "heard it suited you."
"Yeah," she said with a sarcastic laugh, "suits me about as well as the picket fence and two point five kids."
"You'd like that," he answered.
"Sure, I like it when a guy can tie me down once in a while, but-"
"I meant the other part."
"Let's stick to realistic fantasies, shall we?"
"Why can't that be realistic?"
"Cause it can't," she answered, her tone more defensive than it needed to be.
"Why?" he asked with a smile.
"I can't have kids, alright."
"Faith, talk to me," he soothed, seeing how riled she was getting.
"Not really the time, babe," she answered, swerving slightly as a car approached perpendicularly to theirs from another street. She passed it quickly and Xander reached his hand to hers and touched it gently. She glanced over at his face then added, "I was pregnant a long time ago and I was way too young to be spitting out a kid so I went in to one of those shady clinics and they took care of it but they said they fucked up or something and I can't have kids…"
"I didn't know that…"
"You're the first," she stated nonchalantly, wanting as quickly to forget the conversation as the passing street names they were flying past.
"Faith…"
"I don't want to talk about it, okay," she scolded.
"No, Faith, look!" Xander repeated as they quickly approached a cross street with a car driving in front of them. He hadn't even realized until after he said it that it was a police car. She slammed on the breaks, the screeching tires echoing noisily off the sides of the concrete buildings. The car skidded forward into the cross street and she turned the tire to the side as soon as she realized the type of vehicle. She turned the wheel away from the direction the cop car had been going in wanting to be able to get a head start away once the turn was made but as the car came back under control, sliding sideways into the other street so that the car was now facing the right direction to be traveling on the cross street she heard another vehicles screeching tires.
"Oh shit!" Joey yelled as he slammed on the breaks causing Kennedy and Eddy both to be jerked forward in their seats, Kennedy more so due to her lacking the stability support of her hands.
"Oh my God!" Kennedy yelled seeing Faith and Xander now stopped right in front of them looking right at them.
"This is going to be interesting," Eddy commented recognizing Faith immediately. Brian had been the first car, which had now stopped, quickly realizing the hold up and Stevenson and Carter both un-holstered their guns and exited their vehicle, shielding themselves with the door.
Faith quickly realized her luck – still unsure whether it was good or bad but – she jumped out of the car with her hands clearly held at her sides.
"Xander, stay down," she commanded softly as she left him in the car. He stayed quiet until he saw the gun she had taken from Wesley still lying on the empty driver's seat.
"Faith!" he scolded, angry that this had become her plan.
"Kennedy," she called, approaching the cop car slowly, "are you okay?"
"Faith," Eddy stated, slowly exiting the vehicle with his gun ready at his side, "she's okay, Faith." Joey exited the vehicle as well, following Ed's example and having his gun ready but not cocked.
"Faith," Brian said, standing cautiously by his car that was located behind her back. His tone was firm but the fear in it was obvious. "Don't try and pull any stupid stunts here," he warned.
"Kennedy!" she called out, ignoring his warning.
"She's okay, Faith," Eddy promised. "She's fine."
"Kennedy!" she called again.
"Joe," Ed said quickly. Joey nodded and with his hands clearly visible to Faith he approached the backseat of his car and opened the door, helping Kennedy out. Stevenson watched angrily but still afraid to come out from behind his car.
"I wouldn't lie to you," Eddy said honestly, "she's fine."
"Me for her, Eddy, no tricks," Faith promised.
"What?" Kennedy asked, completely not in agreement with Faith's promise. The rest of the officers began to slowly approach closer to Faith, their guns ready in front of them but pointed towards the ground. Xander shook furiously in the car watching what was going on – it made him furious to see other guys even looking at her, now he had to watch a pack of them not only looking at her but ready to shoot her if she breathed wrong too.
"No tricks?" Eddy asked taking another step towards her.
"Nothing shady… go ahead, cuff me," she added holding her hands out towards him. He grabbed the cuffs from his waist and secured one hand then running the cuffs through the door frame and the empty space of where the window went when it wasn't rolled down as it was he secured the second so that she was now cuffed to the car door. Xander was sick seeing how cowardly all of the other officers were, only rushing forward now that she was chained up. He became furious when he saw them slam her up against the car and check her for weapons, or tricks, or maybe even a rabbit up her sleeve… who knows what they could be hassling her about. He felt his insides screaming seeing how she was just holding everything in and not even muttering a word of protest as they roughly pushed her and patted her down.
"She's clean," Joey stated wanting to get everyone to back off.
"Faith…" Kennedy muttered sadly, seeing like Xander, how much she was holding back. And for what? Her.
"You okay?" Faith asked.
"I'm fine, Faith, I'm fine."
"Now let her go." Joey walked towards Kennedy and Stevenson immediately yelled,
"No way!"
"Eddy!" Faith yelled over to him, her tone panicked. "No tricks… that goes both ways. Here I am, I don't get any more chained up than this! Let her go!"
"Faith," Brian stated, "she just needs to go through an interrogation session than she'll be free to go… that's just some questions… it's no big deal."
"Let her go!" she screamed furiously.
"You don't get to give orders," Stevenson yelled back. All of the officers were standing in a huddle on the side of one police car, the one directly in front of the Mustang, with Faith cuffed to the front door and Kennedy standing still cuffed by the truck. Joey was standing behind Kennedy, Eddy behind Faith, Brian and Carter were standing by the hood of the vehicle and Stevenson was standing between Faith and Kennedy. All of them had resheathed their guns when Xander approached holding Wesley's gun ready in front of him. He stood in front of Faith at an angle, about two meters off of the car.
"Uncuff her," he demanded looking at Kennedy. He held his gun up towards Joey as he made his demand. Following hostage procedure, Joey tried to control his shaking hand as he tried to unlock the cuffs around Kennedy's wrist. He undid both and then dropped them to the ground,
"Alright," Joey answered.
"You," Xander said now pointing his gun at Eddy, "get those off of her right now!" His voice was shaking with anger but the gun was held steady at it's target.
"It's okay," Faith answered, "just get her out of here." Officer Stevenson heard Kennedy take a step towards Xander and he quickly reached for and pulled out his gun,
"I don't think so," he yelled, pointing the barrel of his gun right into Faith's face. She held her breath tightly then gasped hearing the loud gunshot explode in front of her. It took her a moment to realize the loud sound hadn't send a bullet into her. She opened her eyes and saw Stevenson fall to the ground, blood pouring from his skull.
"Now I said, fucking un-cuff her!" he screamed at Eddy.
"Okay," he said nervously.
"Nobody fucking move or I'll fucking put a bullet in every single one of your heads," he threatened viciously.
"Okay," Eddy repeated as the cuffs fell to the ground.
"Nobody try anything," Xander warned as he backed towards the car with Kennedy backing up behind him towards the car. He had to reach forward and grab Faith by the arm to snap her out of her daze. She couldn't breathe – it wasn't like there was anything keeping her from her next breath it was more that she felt that she had forgotten how to inhale.
Brian and Carter bent down to Stevenson's body, immediately checking for the vital signs that were nowhere to be found and Eddy and Joe remained motionless as Faith, Kennedy, and Xander backed into the car and Xander drove away quickly. Once they were out of sight Joey immediately picked up his radio,
"Officer down, officer down, I repeat, officer down! Keep a close eye out for a speeding black mustang convertible heading due South from location."